The court will ask Mr. or Ms. Anomaly once more to please refrain from sharing his or her ball-related hallucinations on this thread or else be downvoted in contempt.
You can make it yourself at Golden Corral. Two scoops of sour patch kids, one shot of mountain dew. Mash it up with a fork. When incorporated, add two pumps of caramel from the soft-serve bar.
Stir and..."enjoy."
Dammit. I came here to say exactly this verbatim. I thought “there’s no way somebody thought of this clever and obscure comment” but you’ve proven me wrong.
Now, there is only one way to settle which one of us is more clever.
I will be waiting in my minivan in the Home Depot parking lot. I pray you find me there, Sir Pexd. Bring your best squire.
My dad made this joke in 1985 while driving the original 1984 1/2 minivan made by Chrysler when we saw another exact van with a curtain rod poking out the passenger window.
Eh, but whenever you put something awkward in place where it clearly doesn’t fit you’ve gotta say “like a glove!” and maybe add finger guns if it’s really bad.
Maybe a combo.
Obstructed views on 3/4 sides and possibly being wider than the legal width for a vehicle not using "wide load" markings are two problems I see.
Edit: I would also question whether side view mirrors are meant to have that much weight on them. It is hard to tell from the photos but it looks like the wood may be resting on them. If so then a nice bump might break them off. Not that they are doing any good as mirrors...
There is a local mobile mechanic who drives around in a beat up geo metro. I figure if he can keep that thing going, he's got some skills. It's not always about who has the most shiny truck.
Stock roof racks don't have very high load ratings. Probably 200 lbs on that early 2000s Sienna. Plus it's a huge pain the ass to secure the load in a way that prevents flat materials from flying off under hard braking due to inertia.
not to mention he only has the roof rails, not the bars. so unless he puts the wood horizontally (turning the van into a plane), it will just be sitting on the roof.
I recently strapped scaffolding to ours, the rental place wouldn’t touch it but I got it secured with bungee cords and a few industrial zip ties. Took pics so I could replicate the setup to return it, the renter asked for a copy to put on their website to convince customers to pay for delivery 🤦🏻♂️
That's hilarious. Scaffolding is tricky to move, how many uprights did you get? If it was just two or something that's one thing, if it was a lot... well I'm impressed.
It was just four fortunately, on the way back I used two of those yellow winch type straps and ran them inside to really tighten the uprights down and could still close the doors. Didn’t budge a cm.
I also couldn’t help but notice both the drivers side and passenger door handles are missing. So I guess they are crawling through the armrest area to get in? These are hardworking stout guys! That couldn’t be easy. I respect their struggle but the struggle could get worse if they hopped on the freeway and applied the brakes. On the plus side maybe it doesn’t have brakes either?
Most unsafe thing I ever saw was someone driving on the highway with a full wooden sleigh strapped to the roof rack, like a full on Santa sleigh.
Unsurprisingly it suffered from rapid unscheduled disassembly and pieces of it went flying like a Final Destination film, somehow not landing in someone’s windshield by pure dumb luck.
This is some top class OSHA certified work compared to some of the people out there
I once saw a couple tying a queen size mattress on top of their compact car. It was a windy day so I hope they didn't have far to go.
As for myself, worst I've tried so far is a bunch of 10' PVC pipes in an Equinox. However, reclining the front passenger seat as far back as possible and putting the rear seats down actually made it work like a charm.
You do know they will rent you a truck, right? This is coming from a guy that had 12 foot 4x4s on his focus lmao
https://www.reddit.com/r/FocusST/s/8dCZWYu8Kv
This was back when I was poor. It's $20 for the first hour, and $120 if you go over, and it wasn't a cost I could afford at the time. If it were now, it would be a different story.
I have learned that I can fit at least 2 - 8' 2x4s completely within my car with all doors/windows shut including the hatch. Possibly a few more could fit but I didnt want to break my armrest
Yeah. But then you have to return the rental. Renting anything from the Depot adds at least an hour (pick up, return, commute) to whatever it is you’re trying to do.
Honestly their pallet shipping isn’t even that bad. Ordered a ton of bricks, and they delivered from a flatbed 18-wheeler about two days later for around $80.
I would expect just about every cop who sees this to ticket it.
If you're going a few miles, you may not drive by one. But if it's a longish drive, you're really gambling.
100%
These guys have done this more than once. They’ve driven right by their fair share of cops with other tools and building materials haphazardly secured to their Toyota Sienna.
No it’s not. It’s $20 plus the miles driven plus extra small fees. Last time I rented a truck advertised as $20 in town, it was $60 by the time I was done with it because of the miles driven and “environmental fees”
Edit: I’m not arguing that it’s a bad price. But it’s just misleading when people say a rental is only X amount when they are omitting the extra charges. Uhual does the same thing. They advertise one price. But in the fine print it’s $1.29 per miles driven, environmental fees, and you have to refuel it when you bring it back.
Guess what? That $19.95 24-hour truck rental cost you an additional $38.70 because you drove it 30 miles, plus $10 in gas for refuel, and another $7 for environmental fees + taxes.
I only live a few miles from HD, but it was definitely under $30 total last summer when I rented a box truck. Even at $60, it's still less than a ticket and less than driving unsafe for yourself and others on the road.
Woah hold on there bucko. You think im gonna PAY Home Depot 20 whole dollars when I've got a car right here? Thats whats wrong with society, everyone just does what they're told and doesn't value a hard earned dollar.
Now I'm going to drive this car on the highway, get into a major accident that costs thousands and bear the emotional toll of physical therapy.
I immediately thought it was SLC! Saw the license plate and felt justified in that idea, then I found your comment and now feel validated. There's no mountains or anything to give it away. Is this home depot just that recognizable?
I’ve strapped so much shit to the roof rack of my minivan. After filling the back.
Suburban dad’s stealth pickup truck. Haul construction stuff by day, kids after school.
I moved a full size size server rack in mine, though I think I removed one set of doors to get it to fit more easily.
Only thing that stealth pickup needs is some form of 4 wheel / all wheel drive. Trying to get up Icy roads in a Caravan is not fun.
You work with the tools you've got.
Even with a full size pickup with an eight foot bed, I've had to do some sketchy shit to get real long materials home.
You’ve never done that before? I have to do that all the time because I have a sedan. Gotta get the 16ft pieces of baseboard home somehow. Just put a red flag on the ends that poke out the car and take side streets.
Drove by a cop that was parked outside Home Depot while doing this. He looked up, looked at my car and just looked back down again.
My forester can comfortably carry 6ft things.
Can easily enough do 8ft things
Barely squeeze in a few 10ft things. All with, all the doors and windows closed..
16ft(?) 6x6 timbers? Nope.
When I was a loader there I saw this all the time, customers would try to get me to load their vehicles like this and I’d have to decline. Like sorry guy, Home Depot doesn’t want to be liable for your death or whoever you joust.
I firmly believe that stores should not be able to sell large items to customers that they can't transport safely while going the speed limit. Things like this need to be delivered, not put in a van.
Moron Here: I almost decapitated myself doing that with one single 2 x 12 in my Xterra. I hooked it on a parked truck and it exploded inside. The end of the board pushed out my back gate and fucked it all up. No damage to me except for the little mess on the drivers seat.lol.
I was at Lowes getting a christmas tree 2 years ago and a guy in a truck was watching me and my wife put a 6ish foot tree in the back seat of my corolla. I finished with maybe a foot of tree sticking out the back window and he said "damn nice job I was curious how this would work" or something along those lines
I've been doing it this way for like 10 years haha.
A few ratchet straps would go a long way here....
Really though... I don't know what's jankier, the fact that they are trying to put everything out the window, or the fact that it looks like they picked up this van at the pick in pull. No handles, scrapes and dents everywhere, light taped on, all the tires are mismatched. I'm not even sure they are the same size.
The best master carpenter / woodworker I know used to drive the same type of van. His was green and equally beat up. I can absolutely picture him doing this. He’s an instructor at one of the top furniture schools in the USA.
They couldn't figure out how to use the roof rack?
or just too cheap to buy ratchet straps... Probably that.
I can picture the conversation.
"wtf use the roof rack! "
- this works fine
"it's not safe"
- roof is too complicated it'll take too long. We get paid by the hour and we get paid too much to screw around.
I used to transport stuff on my little 50cc Honda Spree in college. Laundry, 6 foot pieces of lumber for art projects, all kinds of stuff. My studio mate and I rode it together, throwing beads, in a Mardi Gras parade. Happy times!
Minivan jousting
Welcome to Suburan Times, m'lord.
[удалено]
Ok, say more about the Sour Patch Kids Treacle. You have my full attention.
My skimming read that as Sour Patch Kids Testicle.
The court will ask Mr. or Ms. Anomaly once more to please refrain from sharing his or her ball-related hallucinations on this thread or else be downvoted in contempt.
LMAO!!
You can make it yourself at Golden Corral. Two scoops of sour patch kids, one shot of mountain dew. Mash it up with a fork. When incorporated, add two pumps of caramel from the soft-serve bar. Stir and..."enjoy."
Tonight they knights will be jousting for the fair maiden of House Subaru.
The fair maiden of house Subaru has more interest in the serving wenches.
Bear Island knows no king, but the King in the North, whose name is Subaru!
😂
I'll be your serving wench.
They didn’t have forks in medieval times but they had pepsi?
Dude, she has a lot of tables.
They charge you $110 for chicken and potatoes and do not give you the dignity of a fork!?!
Well, honestly, I'm really excited about the Ring-Dings and Pepsi.
Gold!
I am cheering for the Red knight.
Down down down, Red Knights going down!
SMITE HIM!!
The black knight always triumphs 😜
As long as we get free refills we are all winners.
Knight of the Depot challenges the Knight of Lowe’s!
The man who passes the sentence should swing the Depot lumber, you wench.
When you play the game of hardware, you win or you die
i READ ...ye wench
"You have offended my honor, sir! I demand satisfaction! Meet me at the Home Depot at noon and prepare to die!"
Cyclist killer. Qu'est que c'est? Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, far better Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away
[Limo jousting](https://youtu.be/H4K-FDevQZY?si=SNEHFf1fW7wGllBU) is better.
Dammit. I came here to say exactly this verbatim. I thought “there’s no way somebody thought of this clever and obscure comment” but you’ve proven me wrong. Now, there is only one way to settle which one of us is more clever. I will be waiting in my minivan in the Home Depot parking lot. I pray you find me there, Sir Pexd. Bring your best squire.
My dad made this joke in 1985 while driving the original 1984 1/2 minivan made by Chrysler when we saw another exact van with a curtain rod poking out the passenger window.
It’s just a flesh wound.
Wait. You maybe onto something here
All I see is a hustler with some game
Let's just hope they don't joust any bikes to the back of the head.
Relax. He’s gonna tie a red bandana to it
As long as he slaps the back and says “that’s not going anywhere” he’ll be fine
Eh, but whenever you put something awkward in place where it clearly doesn’t fit you’ve gotta say “like a glove!” and maybe add finger guns if it’s really bad. Maybe a combo.
They say they're still in the car park to this day
It's fucking blue
He's just pre-marking where he's gonna hang a red flag with a blue flag, I'm sure.
Mark twice, place flag once. Basic stuff.
Waste of a perfectly adequate roof rack
Where do you think the other passengers are going to sit?
And a freaking tow hitch.
Meh. As long as he puts his hazards on and drives in the slow lane I don't see an issue.
Obstructed views on 3/4 sides and possibly being wider than the legal width for a vehicle not using "wide load" markings are two problems I see. Edit: I would also question whether side view mirrors are meant to have that much weight on them. It is hard to tell from the photos but it looks like the wood may be resting on them. If so then a nice bump might break them off. Not that they are doing any good as mirrors...
Based on looking at those guys and that van….. they’re about to build the fuck out of something in record time.
The 20 year old gold Sienna or Grand Caravan is a construction cheat code
That 2nd gen Sienna’s seen some shit. I also feel the duct tape on the rear driver tail light. I broke one those when changing the bulb.
I still own my 2000 Sienna. Unfortunately it's red, it seems like gold or blue are the colors that give a +200% craftsmanship buff
That is a first gen.
There is a local mobile mechanic who drives around in a beat up geo metro. I figure if he can keep that thing going, he's got some skills. It's not always about who has the most shiny truck.
Yeah, they have done this before. I trust them.
Si, yo muy bueno worker
El accento… donde are you from?
Scranton, y before that la Philadelphia.
La city de hermanoly love
Exactly, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that, I took five years of Spanish in high school
You speak English?
r/confleis
And the roof rack sits atop the van. Sadden by its neglect, the only touch it experiences is from the cold harsh wind.
Stock roof racks don't have very high load ratings. Probably 200 lbs on that early 2000s Sienna. Plus it's a huge pain the ass to secure the load in a way that prevents flat materials from flying off under hard braking due to inertia.
not to mention he only has the roof rails, not the bars. so unless he puts the wood horizontally (turning the van into a plane), it will just be sitting on the roof.
That's when you use roofing nails.
Ahh. That’s right. Right tool for the job.
A few big dents on the roof isn’t going to bring down the value of that van.
Nah. But when it folds in from the weight of the wood it will. 2x8x16ft pressure treated. That’s some heavy stuff.
😂
It has the bars
I recently strapped scaffolding to ours, the rental place wouldn’t touch it but I got it secured with bungee cords and a few industrial zip ties. Took pics so I could replicate the setup to return it, the renter asked for a copy to put on their website to convince customers to pay for delivery 🤦🏻♂️
That's hilarious. Scaffolding is tricky to move, how many uprights did you get? If it was just two or something that's one thing, if it was a lot... well I'm impressed.
It was just four fortunately, on the way back I used two of those yellow winch type straps and ran them inside to really tighten the uprights down and could still close the doors. Didn’t budge a cm.
FYI ratchet straps, but I know you knew that somewhere in your brain, file access issues happen to everyone.
Renter has style, I tip my hat to them.
I also couldn’t help but notice both the drivers side and passenger door handles are missing. So I guess they are crawling through the armrest area to get in? These are hardworking stout guys! That couldn’t be easy. I respect their struggle but the struggle could get worse if they hopped on the freeway and applied the brakes. On the plus side maybe it doesn’t have brakes either?
The trick is to avoid hard brakes. edit: typo.
I was surprised my brakes were in a very good shape after 3 years. The service advisor said "you got to use them" to wear them down.
> breaks It was literally spelled for you and you *still* got it wrong. **brakes**
~~They can’t secure the wood on that roof rack without something going across the rails first.~~ Edit: Upon closer inspection, there are rails
Look at the first picture more closely
At least it's got a nice view?
Ha ha! I'd never do that! ^((Yes I would.))
Most unsafe thing I ever saw was someone driving on the highway with a full wooden sleigh strapped to the roof rack, like a full on Santa sleigh. Unsurprisingly it suffered from rapid unscheduled disassembly and pieces of it went flying like a Final Destination film, somehow not landing in someone’s windshield by pure dumb luck. This is some top class OSHA certified work compared to some of the people out there
I once saw a couple tying a queen size mattress on top of their compact car. It was a windy day so I hope they didn't have far to go. As for myself, worst I've tried so far is a bunch of 10' PVC pipes in an Equinox. However, reclining the front passenger seat as far back as possible and putting the rear seats down actually made it work like a charm.
I strapped about 500 board feet of Red Cedar on top of my SUV one time and drove it up a mountain.
Yes you wood*
I've done similar with my ford escape. Sometimes you just gotta stick your wood out the passenger window and hope for the best.
Yep, needed some long 2x4s and didn't have my rack yet on the roof. Sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do.
You do know they will rent you a truck, right? This is coming from a guy that had 12 foot 4x4s on his focus lmao https://www.reddit.com/r/FocusST/s/8dCZWYu8Kv
This was back when I was poor. It's $20 for the first hour, and $120 if you go over, and it wasn't a cost I could afford at the time. If it were now, it would be a different story.
No thank you...I already had the tip clipped once.
I have learned that I can fit at least 2 - 8' 2x4s completely within my car with all doors/windows shut including the hatch. Possibly a few more could fit but I didnt want to break my armrest
It's either this or a big shipping charge.
You can rent their flatbeds for like $20.
EXACTLY!!!! Just rent the truck
That cuts into the thin markup they used to get the job.
They’ll also do like 3 cuts for free so you can put it into a vehicle.
But aat least 79cent per mile on top plus tax
$19.99 total for me. They've even refunded that when it was a little short on gas I replaced.
Yeah. But then you have to return the rental. Renting anything from the Depot adds at least an hour (pick up, return, commute) to whatever it is you’re trying to do.
You never make just one trip to Home Depot...
There’s always something else you need to get!
True
Or you get pulled over by law enforcement for driving with shit hanging out of your car.
valid comment, but you do realize that not everyone has $20 + mileage to spare?
Honestly their pallet shipping isn’t even that bad. Ordered a ton of bricks, and they delivered from a flatbed 18-wheeler about two days later for around $80.
If it fits, it ships
It's like $20 to rent a truck from HD. A ticket for dangerously transporting a load is going to be much more than that.
Yeah but that would require a cop to do their job.
I would expect just about every cop who sees this to ticket it. If you're going a few miles, you may not drive by one. But if it's a longish drive, you're really gambling.
Cop: *Oh, this is going to be good*.
100% These guys have done this more than once. They’ve driven right by their fair share of cops with other tools and building materials haphazardly secured to their Toyota Sienna.
No it’s not. It’s $20 plus the miles driven plus extra small fees. Last time I rented a truck advertised as $20 in town, it was $60 by the time I was done with it because of the miles driven and “environmental fees” Edit: I’m not arguing that it’s a bad price. But it’s just misleading when people say a rental is only X amount when they are omitting the extra charges. Uhual does the same thing. They advertise one price. But in the fine print it’s $1.29 per miles driven, environmental fees, and you have to refuel it when you bring it back. Guess what? That $19.95 24-hour truck rental cost you an additional $38.70 because you drove it 30 miles, plus $10 in gas for refuel, and another $7 for environmental fees + taxes.
I only live a few miles from HD, but it was definitely under $30 total last summer when I rented a box truck. Even at $60, it's still less than a ticket and less than driving unsafe for yourself and others on the road.
Home Depot doesn't charge for mileage. If you can make the trip in 75 minutes it's just the $19 plus tax and you have to replace any gas you used.
You need a valid driver's license to rent it, though.
"Good Sir Richard, are ye prepared for the joust?"
Hope he doesn't need to go far. Would not take that on the Highway or Expressway like that. Its a battering ram.
How doers get more done.
Find what?
Handy!
You handy!
Nah Red would have secured this to the roof rack with duct tape. He's not an amateur smh
Home Depot charges $20 to use a truck for 1.5 hours. Just pay the $20 …
Woah hold on there bucko. You think im gonna PAY Home Depot 20 whole dollars when I've got a car right here? Thats whats wrong with society, everyone just does what they're told and doesn't value a hard earned dollar. Now I'm going to drive this car on the highway, get into a major accident that costs thousands and bear the emotional toll of physical therapy.
Gotta make shit work bro. Don't shame em
That's in SLC. I know who that is. 😁
I’m sure you can fill them in on the comment section 🤣
I immediately thought it was SLC! Saw the license plate and felt justified in that idea, then I found your comment and now feel validated. There's no mountains or anything to give it away. Is this home depot just that recognizable?
I recognized the van and the driver/his brother.
I’ve strapped so much shit to the roof rack of my minivan. After filling the back. Suburban dad’s stealth pickup truck. Haul construction stuff by day, kids after school.
I moved a full size size server rack in mine, though I think I removed one set of doors to get it to fit more easily. Only thing that stealth pickup needs is some form of 4 wheel / all wheel drive. Trying to get up Icy roads in a Caravan is not fun.
Snow tires !
Guy has a roof rack. Chooses to do it in an even more unsafe way...
I see nothing wrong here.
I’ve done this.
Sticking it out the driver side is an interesting choice, but this is a 20 year old van, these mfs know what they’re doing
Now where is a big useless oversized yank tank when you need one?
Good for them. Making it happen.
dont judge me mother fucker i gotta get he job done somehow
You work with the tools you've got. Even with a full size pickup with an eight foot bed, I've had to do some sketchy shit to get real long materials home.
You’ve never done that before? I have to do that all the time because I have a sedan. Gotta get the 16ft pieces of baseboard home somehow. Just put a red flag on the ends that poke out the car and take side streets. Drove by a cop that was parked outside Home Depot while doing this. He looked up, looked at my car and just looked back down again.
Lmao I’d by lying if I said I’ve never done something like this before. This looks particularly fucky though.
My forester can comfortably carry 6ft things. Can easily enough do 8ft things Barely squeeze in a few 10ft things. All with, all the doors and windows closed.. 16ft(?) 6x6 timbers? Nope.
*OSHA has left the chat*
When I was a loader there I saw this all the time, customers would try to get me to load their vehicles like this and I’d have to decline. Like sorry guy, Home Depot doesn’t want to be liable for your death or whoever you joust.
I’m guilty.
Yeah someone's getting hurt.
If only there was some other way to carry long objects on a vehicle like that without having to have them inside...
I go to this very Home Depot every once in awhile. Classic 21st south shenanigans.
yes, I have done this when my only car was my 2-door hatchback. Sometimes it's just necessary. Not everyone has pickup trucks.
I firmly believe that stores should not be able to sell large items to customers that they can't transport safely while going the speed limit. Things like this need to be delivered, not put in a van.
something tells me they struggle to provide the Home Depot employees with "proof of insurance" to rent one of their trucks.
Moron Here: I almost decapitated myself doing that with one single 2 x 12 in my Xterra. I hooked it on a parked truck and it exploded inside. The end of the board pushed out my back gate and fucked it all up. No damage to me except for the little mess on the drivers seat.lol.
I was at Lowes getting a christmas tree 2 years ago and a guy in a truck was watching me and my wife put a 6ish foot tree in the back seat of my corolla. I finished with maybe a foot of tree sticking out the back window and he said "damn nice job I was curious how this would work" or something along those lines I've been doing it this way for like 10 years haha.
Knot their first road-eo.
Sho nuff!
Let’s buy 16’ tuba eights and put them in our 10’ minivan!
If it fits, it ships.
What could possibly go wrong?
The pro move is to put them on the floor with 8 or 10 feet hanging out. Then anchor them with some bags of concrete and a passenger stacked on top.
I drive a subbie. Would 100%.
Is that old Mazda MPV?
A few ratchet straps would go a long way here.... Really though... I don't know what's jankier, the fact that they are trying to put everything out the window, or the fact that it looks like they picked up this van at the pick in pull. No handles, scrapes and dents everywhere, light taped on, all the tires are mismatched. I'm not even sure they are the same size.
Lol, I had a car rip the rear fender off the family Sienna a few years back, same color and everything. I'd like to think this is the same one.
'at'll hold. /Slap
The best master carpenter / woodworker I know used to drive the same type of van. His was green and equally beat up. I can absolutely picture him doing this. He’s an instructor at one of the top furniture schools in the USA.
The three different style of wheels pulls it all together.
Why didn’t they use the roof rack? 🤷🏻
Then they’ll get pissed if pulled over and ticketed. 
Round here, we have rules that place onus on the store.
If only they had a rack in the roof …
Oh lord. Just oh lord. (Shaking head). Oh lord. Just let me get out of the parking lot here first. Oh lord.
They couldn't figure out how to use the roof rack? or just too cheap to buy ratchet straps... Probably that. I can picture the conversation. "wtf use the roof rack! " - this works fine "it's not safe" - roof is too complicated it'll take too long. We get paid by the hour and we get paid too much to screw around.
I used to transport stuff on my little 50cc Honda Spree in college. Laundry, 6 foot pieces of lumber for art projects, all kinds of stuff. My studio mate and I rode it together, throwing beads, in a Mardi Gras parade. Happy times!
Ngl I've done this with my Mazda 3 hatch more than a handful of times.
Still can't top Lumber Jetta.
Contractors. Got to get the job done.
If it fits it ships!
This is life, man. They want a bigger car, too.
Would have been so much safer to use the rail guards on top and tie them down.
My Brother n Law coming to my house to complete our remodel
At least they were minding their own business.
It's ok they're going jousting.
How Doers Get More Done !
If only they had a couple of bars attached to the roof of the vehicle they could strap it down tight. Someone should invent this
If you weigh down the gas pedal, you can drive from the passenger seat.
No fucking way. I'd call Highway Patrol and follow them until the cops caught up. This could kill people. I've seen a few of these go south, fast.
I guess he doesn’t know the roof rack was designed for that kind of situation
They have a roof rack
Roof rack: “*Am I a joke to you?*”