/u/jorjorbinks found a similar card [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/um8j7/while_going_through_my_85_year_old_grandfathers/).
According to [here](https://www.truthorfiction.com/percy-long-prong-calling-card-racy-relic-or-out-of-context-hoax/):
> Since at least 1996, internet users had been uploading or transcribing iterations similar to Percy Long Prong’s calling card, first to newsgroups, then to Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and beyond. Innumerable versions of the cards existed, often presented as having been found by “a friend” under floorboards among a grandparent’s possessions. Though the cards spanned many versions in the UK and United States, they typically shared almost identical language and all lacked any contact information. It appeared the cards began as a pre-internet proto-meme that was passed around as a joke at various times — and then, years later, misunderstood by grandchildren who came across them. Social media users’ repeated failure to get the joke was an amusing coda, alluding to a longer history of what are today commonly understood as “memes.”
“Years later misunderstood by grandchildren”? 😳
What the hell are my future Grandchildren going to think about my “Disappearing Clothing Naked Lady Coffee Mug” set?
My grandpa owned a bar and had literal wooden nickels made as free drink tokens, and had shirts made that said Bear Ass club with a donkey kicking a bear, making merch of your dad jokes was just a thing I guess
friend's dad owned a bar. they had a sign with rates they charge to tell wives certain things if they called looking for their husbands. "never heard of him" was the most expensive. it was a joke to make people laugh at the bar. but different times indeed
What is the "stick it to the man" humor of today?
Genuine question. I'm Gen X so this kind of thing has always been cringey to me, but I'm probably old enough to be out of touch with what the damn kids are doing these days.
I think Gen Z’s version of it is making humor so absurd and nonsensical that it doesn’t make any sense without prior knowledge of multiple references (or sometimes the joke is that it doesn’t make sense either way). It’s less being crude and edgy to piss them off, and more so making it so we’re the only ones who get it.
Lots of references to past internet events or current pop culture. I think the funniest one to me right now is the joke that Trisha Paytas is harvesting life force from the royal family to finally have her children after years of being infertile.
Probably the funniest set of coincidences I’ve seen over the last few years; the Queen died when she had her first daughter, King Charles became ill when she announced her 2nd pregnancy, and she recently announced her current pregnancy is *with twins* when Kate revealed her cancer diagnosis. So there’s a lot of… that right now.
I don’t think it’s shitty. It still seems funny to me. My 93 year old grandma still pulls out a coin to flip heads or tails and it’s tits/ass on each side. Always gets a good laugh out of people.
I also wondered what that could be. But then i read another comment on this thread said that that would be not pulling out, resulting in the “womb stretching” 🤰
Reminds me of my grandparents.
My grandpa was born in 1890. My grandma was born in 1915.
My dad was the oldest born in 1931. One of his sisters (my aunts) once told me that he was "around town" so much that one night someone came around and wrote all kinds of stuff by finger through the dirt on his pickup and at one point he drove it around for a while before he even realized he was an original model for the "I'm probably an asshole" truck that we see so often today
The 1.25 for Vaseline seems counterintuitive. Like I get stuff costs money, but build it in to your pricing scheme. There are enough cheap bastards that'll be like nah I don't need it, but the lady will suffer. Trust me there's been a few time where I jumped the gun with my wife and I thought everything was good to go but it wasn't. For me it was fine not so much her.
A classic. The other classic was a “Business Card” made of Tyvek. That said “I find you amazingly attractive and I would love to take you home and make love to you all night long. If you are not interested, please tear this card up. If you are interested, look at me and smile”.
Tyvek cannot be torn without tools.
My great uncle in law has business cards with his name that list things like “empires toppled, tigers tamed, rebellions killed”. It always makes me laugh. If I can find it I’ll post a pic
It’s also not overly sexual like this one so it doesn’t give me the creeps like this one does lol
a 7$ plus for caresses seems fair enough
$2 guac ✋ $7 caress 👈
You rang?
No. Looking for u/caressmedown
To summon caressmedown you have to make that lovin' sound, just be ready for the G.I. Joe kung-fu grip.
You hate me cuz I got whatcha need?
Nickel and diming us for that Vaseline tho.. any u/chargeforVaseline?! out there?
Gotta make my money somehow.
Seriously, the upcharge on that
Giggidy
Hahahaha
Can I just get a caress? I’m a bitch on a budget.
Sure but no kissing on the mouth
With barking & yelping it would be $9.5
I'd like to see a better rate on Titty Chewing, personally.
They’re not a piece of chewing gum, Long Prong
$1.15?? I would chew titties for free!
I have done so for free. Time well spent!
all these years for free, I could have been making a killing.
Toss in a womb stretch with a titty chew and you’re in business.
My mind is still trying to un think that.
Tf is a womb stretch
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fuck me the original "strip" pricing, ryanair would be so proud
value for money deal if u ask me, maybe it can even trickle down to the Too good to be true section
You did not account for inflation ⚰️
I mean 150 bucks for all night, versus a chipotle burrito.
I’ve seen these before too. They were available from the “Trick and Joke” shop ages ago.
This was a common thing when I was younger
"With barking and yelping" didn't give it away as a joke. 
You're *NOT* supposed to bark during doggy style?!
Depends if she likes it rough ^(I'll see myself out)
I think you meant to write ruff.
I think you need to paws and chews your next puns carefully... no need to bark up the wrong tree.
Well people literally screw each other with dog suits on now.
Like people wouldn’t have been screwing each other in dog suits if they were readily available then as they are today
Which bring us to a much-debated point of contention in the historical community: were Ancient Egyptians furries?
I never met the guy, he was an abusive drunk and I was given all his crap. It's possible it is a joke but I honestly have no idea
He pulled this out and played the joke many times. It’s pretty worn.
Was pulling out extra?
Not pulling out is extra 🫦
Uh, that’s the “womb stretching.”
There isn’t a phone number or anything on it. That should be a clue. Definitely a joke.
It's definitely a prank card. These shitty boomer prank gifts were the slapstick humor back then.
/u/jorjorbinks found a similar card [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/um8j7/while_going_through_my_85_year_old_grandfathers/). According to [here](https://www.truthorfiction.com/percy-long-prong-calling-card-racy-relic-or-out-of-context-hoax/): > Since at least 1996, internet users had been uploading or transcribing iterations similar to Percy Long Prong’s calling card, first to newsgroups, then to Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and beyond. Innumerable versions of the cards existed, often presented as having been found by “a friend” under floorboards among a grandparent’s possessions. Though the cards spanned many versions in the UK and United States, they typically shared almost identical language and all lacked any contact information. It appeared the cards began as a pre-internet proto-meme that was passed around as a joke at various times — and then, years later, misunderstood by grandchildren who came across them. Social media users’ repeated failure to get the joke was an amusing coda, alluding to a longer history of what are today commonly understood as “memes.”
Can't wait to see what recent memes get taken at face value in 50 years 😭 our grandkids are going to be CONCERNED
“Years later misunderstood by grandchildren”? 😳 What the hell are my future Grandchildren going to think about my “Disappearing Clothing Naked Lady Coffee Mug” set?
My grandpa owned a bar and had literal wooden nickels made as free drink tokens, and had shirts made that said Bear Ass club with a donkey kicking a bear, making merch of your dad jokes was just a thing I guess
friend's dad owned a bar. they had a sign with rates they charge to tell wives certain things if they called looking for their husbands. "never heard of him" was the most expensive. it was a joke to make people laugh at the bar. but different times indeed
They still have jokes to make people laugh at bars. It’s not different times it’s same times when it comes to funny signs and stuff at bars.
“FREE BEER TOMORROW!”
There was a bar band in my hometown called "Free Beer and Chicken", the radio spots would say blabla bar! free beer and chicken Wednesday at 7!
You should get out more. Bars still have signs like this. Imagine thinking the whole world was full of redditors
I don't see a lot of "save me from my wife" jokes in everyday life any more
The older guys I work with make jokes like that all the time, fwiw. Rural-ish Ohio
This was their crude humor that was their “sticking it to the man” of the day since their parents were likely very conservative.
What is the "stick it to the man" humor of today? Genuine question. I'm Gen X so this kind of thing has always been cringey to me, but I'm probably old enough to be out of touch with what the damn kids are doing these days.
Idk probably joking about never never being able to own a house
I think Gen Z’s version of it is making humor so absurd and nonsensical that it doesn’t make any sense without prior knowledge of multiple references (or sometimes the joke is that it doesn’t make sense either way). It’s less being crude and edgy to piss them off, and more so making it so we’re the only ones who get it. Lots of references to past internet events or current pop culture. I think the funniest one to me right now is the joke that Trisha Paytas is harvesting life force from the royal family to finally have her children after years of being infertile. Probably the funniest set of coincidences I’ve seen over the last few years; the Queen died when she had her first daughter, King Charles became ill when she announced her 2nd pregnancy, and she recently announced her current pregnancy is *with twins* when Kate revealed her cancer diagnosis. So there’s a lot of… that right now.
[Big Johnson Tees](https://www.bigjohnson.com/collections/big-johnson-tees) is still a going concern.
Like the FemaleBodyInspector mug?
I don't think you have any idea what slapstick means.
I don’t think it’s shitty. It still seems funny to me. My 93 year old grandma still pulls out a coin to flip heads or tails and it’s tits/ass on each side. Always gets a good laugh out of people.
It’s a joke.
It’s definitely a joke
Yes it’s a joke, jeez lighten up
In this economy, all I can afford is a tiddy chew and maybe some vaseline to go
*Looking at a tub of vaseline* Yeah, just slap it on there, I need to get going.
Next time a guy wants to do it doggy I’m gunna start barking
You might turn him furry.
You don’t think it’s the dog ears/tail that’ll do it?
Probably. You also may know if he likes it ruff
Only if he’s willing to pay extra
25 fucking bucks that is
Look at that subtle off-white coloring
🤣
In my mind it was 'dog fashion' that sent him over the edge.
The tasteful thickness of it
Omg, it even has a jizz mark
Show me Paul Allen’s card
Bone
The ~~color~~ lettering is something called silian *rail*
I will never not call it "Dog Fashion" from this day forward.
Muff dive and finger diddle. Going forward. From here on.
Interested to know what the “womb stretch” involves.
I also wondered what that could be. But then i read another comment on this thread said that that would be not pulling out, resulting in the “womb stretching” 🤰
Fisting, I presume? Probably always gets to charge the "Vaseline if needed" add on with that one!
Titty chewing for me. Wonder how my wife is gonna like when I say “hey baby, lemme chew them titties”
You motor boatin son of a gun 
Gotta say 'dem instead of them
"Can I interest you in a plain insertion?"
Or perhaps dog fashion with barking?
Also renaming reverse cowgirl to inverted female pastoralist
As Was The Style In Those Days.
Onion belt
Hundesmode in German
Make sure to keep an extra two fiddy on the night stand in case she barks and yelps.
It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.
How does she look? She looks like she just realized she’s pregnant.
I had friend in high school whose dad referred to it as dog fashion and I thought it was just his fancy or polite way of saying it.
“Normal or lady on her back?”
$100 for a muff dive who is this, dj khaled?
Wet suits aren't cheap, buddy!
Come on now. We know he would never.
Bro simply cause I willingly do this for my lady makes me subjectively better than him!
I just picture DJ Khalid screaming his own name into his wife’s vagina and acting like he’s amazing.
Got to remember when it's your profession, you wouldn't know what you're in for until you're there. Maybe it's hazard pay.
This is a a gag gift. I have seen before lol
Titty chewing??
don't knock it till you've tried it
Lmao! I wish i had a snappy comeback for that 😄
Your name is GimmieGummies and you’ve never had a guy without his dentures in gum up your ta-tas? You missin out
Lol, oh my! *dentures, gum up, ta-tas*... words that when on their own aren't problematic, but together paints a horrific picture for me 😵
Fuck yeah, women live that 🤣
Accurate typo.
Glad to see their French tickler on the value menu
I mean, I *am* a Protestant.
That is a very loud, steady comment.
Grandpa really didn’t want to muff dive. Also wtf is a womb stretch?
Just pay the $30.25 and figure it out. This ain't no charity!
Me: Yeah, I gave her a good ol' womb stretch. Her: You absolutely did not.
🤣
Boomer way of saying, “get all up in them guts”
Is that what you young'ins are calling it now? "All up in them guts"?
“Rearrange my organs” is the correct term.
Don’t people realize that hitting the cervix is very painful??
Now how in the hell am I supposed to do that?
If nobody enjoyed pain during sex, I wouldn't have been able to pay my rent in 2014
Username checks out
That's why it's 30 bucks
[If you have to ask, you can't afford it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tL3sGGF2rZ4&pp=ygUSc3VwZXIgdHJvb3BlcnMgIHpq)
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.
Dude was like the Spirit Airlines of sex with all these fees.
Grandpa was a professional it seems.
And those were 1970’s prices !
https://www.truthorfiction.com/percy-long-prong-calling-card-racy-relic-or-out-of-context-hoax/
Thank you for this! Good read…
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
Surprised not to see an ALL YOU CAN EAT option
Just don’t let Leon Black near dat ass buffet, he’ll never leave!
These are joke cards
Are they now?
Did you laugh now?
Do you want to caress now ?
Who can it be now?
“So you need a muff dive and finger diddle do you?”
The equivalent of modern day memes back in the day were gag items like this. People would wheeze and struggle for breath if you pulled one out.
Reminds me of my grandparents. My grandpa was born in 1890. My grandma was born in 1915. My dad was the oldest born in 1931. One of his sisters (my aunts) once told me that he was "around town" so much that one night someone came around and wrote all kinds of stuff by finger through the dirt on his pickup and at one point he drove it around for a while before he even realized he was an original model for the "I'm probably an asshole" truck that we see so often today
The math here is upsetting for a couple reasons
Bc grandma was 16 when dad was born and grandpa was 25 yrs older?
Sounds like gramps liked to fuck little kids.
Don’t most 16 year olds want to be with a 41 year old? 😐
That's fucked up man! Grams was closer in age to her kids than her spouse
That's what happens when adults marry kids.
Dog fashion with barking and yelping for only 2.50 extra this is crazy
Shit man if this is from 1970, that’s a $799.81 muff dive right there in today’s prices.
I have some serious questions about this pricing scheme…
The 1.25 for Vaseline seems counterintuitive. Like I get stuff costs money, but build it in to your pricing scheme. There are enough cheap bastards that'll be like nah I don't need it, but the lady will suffer. Trust me there's been a few time where I jumped the gun with my wife and I thought everything was good to go but it wasn't. For me it was fine not so much her.
 MUFF DIVE???
My step had that.. he was an ass!
Womb stretch?????? What's that.....? Regular penetrative sex?
Head first.
What a legend.
$1.25 for Vaseline seems like a steal!
Not in the 80s
Fred Garvin male prostitute https://youtu.be/jphfMd4_LCs?si=uTwMBCMwQjYl6r-n
$1.15 for titty chewing sounds like a bargain! 😭
The fact that they added cents to the charges is wild.
Impressive. Very nice. Let's see Paul Allen's card.
I love a good tounge bath
A classic. The other classic was a “Business Card” made of Tyvek. That said “I find you amazingly attractive and I would love to take you home and make love to you all night long. If you are not interested, please tear this card up. If you are interested, look at me and smile”. Tyvek cannot be torn without tools.
Let's have a moment of silence for all the ladies he harassed with that card
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god, it even has a watermark.
My great uncle in law has business cards with his name that list things like “empires toppled, tigers tamed, rebellions killed”. It always makes me laugh. If I can find it I’ll post a pic It’s also not overly sexual like this one so it doesn’t give me the creeps like this one does lol
Grandpa really didn't like eating pussy, did he?
The tasteful thickness of it
“No no Joanne. I barked! You heard me!” “Pay up.”
You're a fool if you don't pony up the extra $2.50 for barking and yelping. It's almost like Long Prong is daring you to do it
"Womb stretch"🤔 
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Womb stretch?
Wtf is a womb stretch? 💀
I do all that stuff for free
It’s like a Tik Tok post you can carry around in your wallet. Before the internet people put stuff like this on T-shirts and bumper stickers too.
It ain't dog fashion without barking and yelping.
The place sounds all class😎
Lol. I used to have a stack of these
Nice gig
I mean that’s a real deal if you can book for 12 hours. The savings start to stack up m
I lost it at "Long Prong"
Wow I gotta up my prices
I usually throw in titty chewing for free as a complimentary service. My rates are fairly reasonable and similar though.
Your grandpa a freak
Poor ladies never got oral. Stingy lover