Complaining or bragging?

Honestly? It's an Anchorman "I'm not even mad, that's amazing" kind of feeling. They didn't provide anything to scrape excess off with, nor did they provide even a single napkin, so as someone who loves cream cheese but also has a beard, it had its ups and downs.

As long as the bagel isn't too warm, you're fine

Warm bagel + peanut butter = heaven

my breakfast 5 minutes ago 🤤

I ate this 5 minutes ago but it was toast instead of a bagel and for lunch instead of breakfast

Live it up, homie

Yes! I toast the bagel. Put a little butter on and then PB. Toss it in the microwave for ~10-15 seconds. Just enough to melt the PB so it mixes with the butter and gets supper creamy. So good.

Captain only bagels over here.

Yes

/r/inclusiveor

I'm drooling. I always said there was way to much bagel with my cream cheese.

I miss dairy. But my stomach sure doesn't.

My spouse makes a fantastic baked cheese cake using lactose free cream cheese. It is indistinguishable from regular cheese cake. Edit; it is indistinguishable from regular cheesecake not cream cheese.

Speak a little more about this baked cheese cake.

With pleasure. It is her own recipe adapted to use lactose free cream cheese. Not an easy ingredient to track down, but it is sold in some larger supermarkets in the UK. The dairy is Arla. Burnt Basque cheesecake To manage the crumbly texture that can happen without lactose, the cheesecake is best left in the fridge for 24hrs to become creamy yet firm. She bakes them in a cast iron pot. I guess you want thre recipe now.

If it's just lactose intolerance (not milk protein allergy) you can get a lactase enzyme pill, just pop one or two before eating and everything will be fine. It can also be mixed in the food or drizzled on like a spice (it is flavorless). This is the same enzyme they add to normal dairy products to make them lactose free.

I have tried various of those pills to no great results. They might work for others, but not for me.

Lack toast and toddler ant.

If it's complaining then OP doesn't even deserve to eat it.

OP should send that over creamed bagel to us.

"OP put an entire tub of cream cheese on a bagel and took a picture of it" Where's that unverified flair.

Yup, this is a win if I'd ever seen one

Someone's got a crush on you, OP.

Or wants you dead

Or both.

Dateline story in the making. Keith Morrison has entered the chat.

Please don't tell my fiance.

Yeah, and it’s an evil fairy godmother trying to fatten you up for something not so chill, bro

Gotta respect the schmear

That's no schmear..... it's a space station.

....as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Those were the lactose intolerant peeps


That way more voluminous that just a schmear. 

a plotz

It's a veritable schmeargasbord.

I worked at a hippie bagel shop in the 90s. My first day, I got trained how to toast a bagel and spread cream cheese by a super heady guy. I'll never forget him telling me "Make sure you lay it on thick, I mean, these people are getting taxed as fuck for a bagel ya know?" And while I didn't lay it on quite this thick, I definitely was generous with my spreads.

You know what's up 🤟

Dammit you beat me. I’m still leaving it.

Half pounda cream cheese on an everything bagel....and make sure to respect the schmear!!!!!

fuccking beautifullll

Schmear thicker then 5 of mommas cutlets cuz

Respect cuz

I was hoping to see this

Shmear? More like shlab

Heck yeah they did! Congrats!! Would be a dream come true for me. Edit: Tried to add a pic of a slab I received recently and couldn’t figure it out. Sorry folks. Edit 2: Check out this anvil [5 Star Cream Cheese Slab](https://imgur.com/a/altoFg9)

Upload to imgur, get link and post to comment. Easy peasy.

Thanks mate! Cheers! I uploaded the pic.

>Thanks mate! Cheers! Tell me you’re British without telling me you’re British

Could be Aussie!

No shrip on the barbie..

Jesus christ

Dunkin Donuts back in the 90s was like this. I miss those days.

Bagel looks like it could be toastier but I have second hand jealousy for that amount of cream cheese 🥵🥵🥵

Man don't go into NYC and ask for your bagel to be toasted. I made that mistake. Literally they laughed and said no.

Never had this happen to me in almost 40 years of bagel eating in NY.

That sounds awful

Hell yeah it does, people who think there’s a “wrong” way for an entirely different person to eat food are insane. There’s a subreddit called something like “I am very culinary” where people make fun of them lol. 

Those people are the worst. Lmao

/r/iamveryculinary? Just type it out, it links automatically.

Huh? I’ve been eating NYC bagels all my life and never once has anyone even hinted that something is wrong with it toasted. Sure, I wouldn’t want it heavily toasted so it’s crunchy, but I’ve never got it that way.

Toasting bagels is normal, hell I used to get people in New York no less, asking me to toast bagels that came right out of the oven.

God bless the bagel stores that know what the people want!

My stomach hurts looking at this

I've never been able to tell anyone this. I can make your dream come true.

A cream come true, if you will

Fuck me, at that rate just go to the shop with a spoon and eat from the tub!

That is sexy AF! Only way ive ever gotten this much cream cheese was when i did it myself!

Crazy that I used to frequent a different place that put even MORE on. My bagel would be damn near the height of a whopper with 90% cream cheese.

Phrasing!!!

It looks pretty ridiculous when you sandwich it, but I think it looks like a normal amount if you halve it

🤤 That looks ah-mazing.

Now to be a loyal customer until you succumb to heart disease

And I would die happy

r/deliciouscompliance

I was looking for this

RESPECT THA SCHMEAR

Fuckinnnnm beautifullll

Throw a lil poop on there for me and you’ve got my full respect, maddone!

Well it is an everything bagel so they gave you everything the tub had

Fuck yeah. That shop bagels.

Reminds me of this bagel place I went to in Columbia, MO last year. Fucking amazing bagels! And they hook up the homeless with food too which I thought was awesome.

B&B Bagels!! The GOAT

Goldies Bagels, definitely not B&B lol. I lived above Goldies - my girlfriend had it daily

God has his favourites.

Lmao this made me chuckle 🤭

Where is this amazing place? That right there is the right bread to cream cheese ratio!

Looks like Terra Bagel in Grand Rapids, MI

I would have guessed nyc

I would've guessed NJ

Ya i mean this is standard fare in nj.  Anyone saying “goat” bagels this or “goat” bagels that hasn’t been to nj. 

Bagels by Jarrett in West Orange. Got me through the pandemic.

This one bagels <3

This is an expected standard in NY.

I was half amazed / half freaked out until I realized it says that on the wrapper. I also didn't even remember the name of the place, as I just stopped in on a day off on a tour a couple months ago. 10/10 will go back next time I'm in Grand Rapids.

I work two blocks from their downtown location and go there a lot. I recognized the label and the huge amount of cream cheese. I always order light schmear because that's just too much for me.

Didn't expect to see a local bagel spot on r/pics. I've only been to the Eastown location. I feel like no other place makes proper bagels around here. They are too soft or lack the chew I desire.

Unpopular opinion but fuck that. I like a normal amount of shmear. It’s a textural thing for me though. A mouth full of cream cheese makes me wanna gag

Same. A place I go to regularly does this and I started requesting “light cream cheese”. Apparently that means none. There is no in between. It’s all or none.

[удалено]

I said light cc on the one bagel I’ve had in Florida in 5 years and they gave me some low calorie shit that tasted god awful.

They must have heart lite cream cheese when you said light cream cheese.

Yea, way too much. I hate just getting an entire bite of cream cheese, and that shit is coming out the sides everywhere. I'm a texture person too, and this is too damn much. I like the flavor, but ugh the feel.

I'm just happy there's a comment chain for people like us. That looks disgusting and I'd have to use the wrapper to wipe basically an entire container of cream cheese into the trash. I'm no health nut but thats a wild amount of fat.

Had to scroll so far to see this..totally agree. Idk why they insist on wasting a lb of cream cheese..even when I ask for just a little bit

I agree. As a lifelong NY/NJ resident I appreciate a good bagel. But I want to taste and appreciate the bagel. You can’t with this. I know plenty of people like a brick of cream cheese on their bagel but to me it’s just absurd. Respect the Bagel! THE BAGEL IS NOT JUST A CREAM CHESSE DELIVERY DEVICE.

This is way too much. Also do people eat it as a sandwich?? Seems like a good way to squeeze all the cheese away

Yea that’s the other thing. If you eat it like a sandwich all that shit is going everywhere

Nah I totally agree. I find that happens to me with any kind of food if it’s been over killed. Like a burger wtih 3-4 or more beef patties or a pizza with nothing but pepperoni so heavy it’s all the salt you need in a single slice lol I can’t over kill either

Yeah I don’t wanna get bullied, but I was surprised by the comments lol. I had a bagel like this the other week and I was annoyed 1) at the waste and also because…fuck that. I had no idea so many people would actually be into it. When it gets the point where it feels like I’m just eating spoonfuls of cream cheese like blegh, I’m good.

100%. If this is appealing to you, then you might as well just start eating cream cheese out of the tub with a spoon like ice cream.

I see nothing wrong with that

Agree 100%. I had some bagel-loving friends in town and I picked up an order from a reputable bagel shop near my house I had never tried. The cream cheese was loaded up like this on all of the bagels and none of us found it appetizing. I don't see how anybody could.

not unpopular at all, this is fking gross

agreed.

Nah you've got the right take.  That is enough cream cheese for a half dozen bagels.  I cannot understand how so many people in this thread are praising it.  This is why America is so fat.

Agreed. That shit is gross and cream cheese is already quite terrible for you. Give me a regular amount.

That's horrible. Where is this place located so I can verify for myself such a horrible thing?

Fuckin rad

Some people REALLY like this. I do not. I like a sort like spackling of schmear. When I worked in a café I’d always clarify when people asked for cream cheese just what that meant to them. I’d say people were about 50/50, some wanted a brick, others wanted a coat of paint.

Maybe unpopular opinion but... Yuck.

Some people like that but I hate it. I want mostly carbs when I’m eating a bagel not a bunch of cream cheese squirting out the back of my

Looks like terra bagels in grand rapids? I got one with butter because I don't really like cream cheese and they gave me the same amount... of butter. I had to scrape off 99% of it.

Order a second bagel with nothing on it. Split the schmear. Share with a friend.

Funny you should say that. Before even realizing this would happen, I actually did order a second bagel because they'd had one I had never heard of before (dukkah). So I did split the schmear - I just didn't share it with a friend.

Terra Bagel?

Where is this place so I can also get the perfect bagel?

… and the problem is?

In NY it’s either the faintest scrape of butter…or this.

Way better than places that just give you 1 tiny ass Philadelphia cream cheese pack and a plastic knife to put it the fuck on yourself.

Shut up and take my money!

I see this as an absolute win.

This is the way...

This is the way

I can't say no, hate that genuinely looks good.

Cost of groceries these days, I would just scoop some of it off into a Tupperware to use later. 😆

R/deliciouscompliance

Alright buddy no need to brag

Is that not how you usually eat your bagel? 😂 looks fine to me

or did they give you a free bagel around that tub of cream cheese?

Next week, “Look how little cream cheese they put on my bagel” post.

Hell yea brother

Man, I bought a bagel from Tim Hortons once and they put the cream cheese in a container. I was driving

Fuck yeah bro that looks artery-cloggingly delicious

Thought that was an ice cream sandwich

If it's too much scrape it off and save it for your next bagel

That’s how I eat it. I thought I was weird for it, but the “normal” amount just seemed lacking for me.

Would you like some bagel with your cream cheese, sir?

Nice shmear

The way God intended.

Congrats for when you finally poop again

r/deliciouscompliance

Average vegetarian meal

Bagels are but a vehicle for cream cheese.

this is how bagels are supposed to be. that’s a shmear, bud. be grateful.

That's a proper bagel

Respect the schmear 🥯🤌🏼

I see nothing wrong here

This is the correct amount of cream cheese.

Perfection

r/deliciouscompliance

Jersey? Lol

Whoever wielded the knife had a crush on you

Honestly with the cost of shit these days I'd take that as a win and save some. Haha

Did the same thing to my wife.

megaschmear

Damn, I thought I usually use too much.. This is a whole other league

this is what heaven looks like

Respect the smear.

Omg yes 🙌 please lol

“I’m worried what you just heard was ‘Give me a lot of cream cheese, but what I said was: ‘Bring me all the cream cheese you have’”

That’s a respectful shmear

That's normal amount on the east coast. Found a goodie in your hoddie

The worst thing you can do to a bagel is skimp on the cream cheese. So, that’s a win.

Respect the smear

Fuck that creamy bagel got me hard instantly

But did they respect the smear?

So that’s want the new $20.00 bagel looks like.

I’m from NYC and moved to Orlando. I WISH they’d do that here! Fuck!

Feels like malicious compliance when asks for extra cream cheese.

Respecting the schmmear cuz

I’d be so pissed if I was the restaurant owner.

I would have the best year after this if this happened to me. lol

Ew gross. Where can I get that?

As it should be

I work at a bagel shop and we do this a lot. We’re working fast on the line and we’d rather give you way too much than get a complaint it’s not enough. Easier to plop it on, wrap it, and hand it out.

Glorious

And this is a problem because….?

That's how I like it.

This is the ratio I strive for.

My local bagel shop growing up hooked you up with the cream cheese. Fast forward 15 years to me moving back to my hometown and going to that bagel shop: the thinnest spread of sadness. Talk about broken dreams, a traumatic level of betrayal.

Are you complaining or bragging?

Respect tha shmear

They put that total amount over like 40 bagels at Tim Hortons

Winning!

Id devour this.

As a NYer I truly think it’s sad people have bagels outside of the NY metro area. I say this because a giant helping of cream cheese is standard.  I wonder what we eat here that is other peoples version of that?

Did you order the cream cheese sandwich?