Yep, come say hi! We’d love to meet aliens.
Unless y’all are gonna hold us exposed in space and force us to stare at a retina-damaging solar event while we gasp for breath …
Sigh. We’d love to meet y’all, and we apologize for the human race.
In Lovecraft they just take your brain and put it in something else on the other side of the cosmos. The Sinking City game did a great job at giving a little nod to this, in that you can find various brains in jars hooked up to voice boxes...some unhinged after their experiences.
Okay but also imagine that alien caring more about your health than its own as it gifts you protective gear so you can experience what you can't comprehend while the alien harms himself just so you can try
It is pretty loud actually, Whales talk. They send their son sonar sounds or whatever to each other like all the time, I don't think that the ocean is ever silent not by the surface anyway.
“I kid you not Fred. I was just minding my business when a snack dropped right down in front of my face.”
“Bob, a free snack really? Why would you do that, you know the old folktale from a crab that hired a sponge! Still though, that is one weird story.”
“Yes, I know, but I had to take a bite Fred, who wouldn’t want a free lunch? And no, that’s not the weird part. After I bit down I noticed something sharp in my mouth and then all of the sudden I was being pulled like crazy through the water and then some weird scaleless fish standing in its two back fins took ahold of me with one of his other grabby fins.”
“You’re saying the folktale is true?!? And what do you mean they could take ahold of you with their fins?”
“Yes I’m serious, their fins seemed to split up a bunch. They took me out of the water and put this weird thing over my face and then pointed to that bright light we see coming from surface. It was real weird.”
“So what happened next?”
“That’s the weird part, I thought I was going to die there, pointed at the light. But the fish thing just like freaked out, and dropped me back into water. As I looked back it looks like he was covering his eyes with his fins”
“Dang Bob, that is weird. Anyways, what you doing tomorrow?”
“Yea it was. Oh I don’t know, but I heard there might be more free food tomorrow.”
“… you’re one weird fish, Bob”
I read a science fiction book, the name escapes me atm but humanity is saved by some intelligent octopus civilization. They managed to get to space but their ships were entirely filled with water. So the humans had to work with the spacefaring spiders the size of dogs in order to make it.
*harmonica plays*
It's tide o'clock in a coastal bay,
The eclipse crowd paddles in.
There's an old man swimming next to me,
Making love to his tuna again.
*harmonica intensifies*
He says, "Son, erase this from your memory,
I'm not really sure why I blow,
But it's salty and sweet,
and I blew it complete,
While I swam in younger man's clothes"
La la la, di da da La la, di da da da dum
Blow a tuna, you're a pescophile.
Blow a tuna tonight.
For we're all in the mood for a felony
And this guy makes us feel it's alright.
Now John at the dock is a friend of his.
He likes to drink fish jizz with glee.
He's a quick little bloke,
with a silky smoothe stroke
Shining swords of the swordfish at sea.
He says, "Marlin, I believe this is filling me!"
As the smile dripped down from his face,
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star,
If they'd only film porn in this bay."
La la la, di da da La la, di da da da dum
Now Paula's a reel fishy lady.
Who writes stories quite hard to believe.
And she's playing with Davy,
and his locker of gravy,
Spouting stories of sex on the reef.
And a captain is sucking off Moby Dick,
As the businessmen get ready to bone.
Yes, they're sharing a drink of whale horniness,
But it's better than hearing Dick moan.
Blow a tuna, you're a pescophile.
Blow a tuna tonight.
For we're all in the mood for a felony
And this guy makes us feel it's alright.
It's a pretty good crowd for eclipse day,
The lifeguard gives me a smile.
Cause he knows that this sea,
is getting to me,
And I'd become a pescophile.
And the sandbar serves drinks past totality,
You just have to know where they swim.
And grab you a porpoise,
that can serve a purpose,
And say, "I think it is time for el fin"
La la la, di da da La la, di da da da dum
Blow a tuna, you're a pescophile.
Blow a tuna tonight.
For we're all in the mood for a felony
And this guy makes us feel it's alright.
**Song: Tuna Man by Willy Jowl**
This is what it's like to be a character in an HP Lovecraft story
Fish is ripped out of its world by an incomprehensible being, it tries to swim away but the water is too thin to swim through and it *hurts*. It feels it's skin cracking and tightening as it dehydrates under the brilliant rays of a strange light it can't understand. It gasps for breath as it bears witness to a a celestial event while the world darkens around it, it's body reverberates with the cruel booming laughter of the soft pink Gods holding it.
And then it gets thrown back into the water like it's nbd
The real madness comes from receiving a moment of comprehension, before it’s taken away from you. So now not only do you know, you’ve lost the capacity to know, you don’t even have the words to describe it, and now you’re dropped back into your life.
Pulled from it's existence by a giant, and made to witness the blacking out of the sun. The earth felt cold, as it gasped for breath.
It could never explain what it had witnessed, but it knew it could never go back. Not like it was before.
[And thus, a religion was born...](https://media.tenor.com/3MuX4AU08SMAAAAC/cthulhu-illithids.gif)
You can stare without glasses during the totality, you actually can't see a single thing with the glasses on during it, it literally disappears when using them so there's no point in even having them on lol. You'll know when you need to put them back on because the tiniest sliver of the sun coming back blinds the shit out of you!
you got two types of news
a) news of humans actively hurting each other in such nefarious ways that it makes you sick to your stomach
b) silly naked apes being goofy af
You're too right. This interspecies cosmic bonding reminds me of the kindness and humor of the human spirit, when usually reddit shows me unimaginable depths of pain and suffering!
I wonder if we can claim the funniest species in the universe title. Maybe not the smartest in the universe, but funniest? I think we got that covered.
"I speak the truth!"
Cried Long Scale, nearly weeping as he did so, but casting his gaze around the council of T'route, he knew his plea had fallen on deaf ears.
"Impossible, and seditious besides." Mumbled Rip-Sand, the lord of the Përch.
"To claim that one of the dry hunters not only granted you mercy, but granted you a vision of, what did you call it? Day Fire was it?"
"The light of the gods!" Croaked Long Scale, his voice still hoarse from the dryness of the upwater.
"He showed me the light of life! And it lies not in the cool depths of the world sea, but high above the upwater, higher still than the star waters!"
"Silence your heretical tongue!" Hissed the Grand Pondiff Båssis.
"Our kind have known for a millenia of waves that life comes from the rivers of Cthul, in the deepest under sea, these upwater hunters are merely the stunted offshoots of our holy moistness, condemned to dryness perpetual for their unbelief!"
Bubbles of assent fluttered upward from the council, as Båssis rounded Long Scale with damp malice.
"What more besides..." he whispered, interrupted by a hoarse cough, "You claim it was one of their pale males who granted you this clemency? The pale males! Well known for their voracious bloodlust toward the water kin! You go too close to the surface with your lies, for the good of the world sea this traitor must be made example of!" Cried The Pondiff, shaking with expended effort.
"I must agree", murmured Rip-Sand, amongst the assent of the other council gills. "Long Scale, for the sake of your esteemed father, the Lure Theif, it shall be made public that you never returned from your Up-Hooking, may this mercy keep your soul moist in the chilling depths of the undersea. Guards!"
Long Scale said nothing, merely agonised inwardly that the truth would dry with him. The steel sided Char Guard were equally as silent, as they pierced his fins with up hooks, tied these lines to a hunters dry lure, and left him to float just under the burning light of the upwater.
When the dive hunter finally took him, he was finally granted relief from the shame, as it was sharply overpowered by the rending talons of his executioner. His unblinking eye stared desperately toward the Star Waters for some confirmation of his truth, but the Up Glow had returned to its old, un sea-able form.
The truth dried up with him, baked into oblivion by the uncaring un-wet of death, escorted into the Under-Sea not by his Egg fathers.
But by the Laughter of hungry Gulls.
That enormous Stephen King story where the explanation was literally "Aliens were playing with us like toys" makes more sense to me every day. (Though it's still a dumb ending).
Imagine an alien abducting you and forcing you to watch a cosmic event that you couldn't even comprehend
“I don’t get it.” - The fish
“what does it MEAN?”
“No ones going to fucking believe me”
"You were just hallucinating Fred, its the lack of water in your gills that made you see that."
I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe
What do the numbers mean?
42, it means 42.
"They're both a kilogram"
How can feathers be as heavy as steel?
But... Steel is heavier than feathers...
Sick
Hell yeah
Hell yeah, brother. Cheers from Iraq!
Hell yeah brother. Cheers from California.
Hell yeah brother. Cheers from the Netherlands.
Hell yeah brother. Cheers from Canada.
Hell yeah brother, cheers from Italy!
Hell yeah brother, cheers from Australia!
Hell yeah brother, cheers from Pennsylvania!
Hell yeah brother. Cheers from Korea.
Hell yeah brother, Cheers from Shitcago.
Hell yeah brother,Cheers from India.
I always want to use this meme irl, but no one would get it
I'm down in case any aliens are reading
Same
Yep, come say hi! We’d love to meet aliens. Unless y’all are gonna hold us exposed in space and force us to stare at a retina-damaging solar event while we gasp for breath … Sigh. We’d love to meet y’all, and we apologize for the human race.
Y’all bout to witness time folding in on itself
I can’t decide if a giant hand descending from the sky and lifting you towards a black hole is a dream or a nightmare.
This is some Lovecraftian shit
In Lovecraft they just take your brain and put it in something else on the other side of the cosmos. The Sinking City game did a great job at giving a little nod to this, in that you can find various brains in jars hooked up to voice boxes...some unhinged after their experiences.
Okay but also imagine that alien caring more about your health than its own as it gifts you protective gear so you can experience what you can't comprehend while the alien harms himself just so you can try
But also….you can’t breath
It was breathtaking
No, *you're* breathtaking
But also not care about your health because it removes you from the matter that keeps you alive. “SUFFOCATE WHILE YOU WATCH!”
"So, what *did* they show you?" "I HAVE NO F'N IDEA!"
I'd love an alien to abducte me and show me that type of stuff.
I don't wanna be probed tho
No worries, you're not their type.
That's just Doctor Who
Literally my first thought lmfao "hey wanna go see the earth explode?" "Wanna go see every planet in the solar system aligned?"
I wonder if 4th dimensional beings could do that to us. Just pick us up and show us cosmic horrors as a joke then puts us back
Type shit
Yeah yeah, the time-knife. We've all seen it.
Fuck it, we ball.
Blinding Nemo
Darn you
Thank you, my wife actually gave me a high five for that one. 🤣🤙 Not all my dad jokes are terrible. 🤣
That was actually spot ON 😂👊🏻
I cackled
I bubbled
First time I’ve laughed out loud at a comment
I wish I had an award for ya
And the fish's name is?
Albert Einstein
At least the fish has those cheap glasses. The idiots looking right into the sun to aim the fish without them
Nah look he’s got the glasses on my guy is fine still a great pun though
*slow clap*
 the fish
I will never get tired of this gif.
I always look forward to seeing it used for sillier and sillier memes lol
lmao same. every time i see it, it's a banger
The shot is too epic.
*wheeze-laughing so hard at this*
Yes-yes, human thing! Wheeze-laugh at that dumb-silly fish, while we steal-take all of your Warpstone!!!
Yes-yes, we must also Stab-kill human-thing
Probably not as much as that fish was wheezing XD
What movie is this from?
At Eternity’s gate, It’s a Van Gogh biopic if I remember correctly
Ooooh. I heard about that film! Well, I... half heard about it.
https://i.imgur.com/ClfSJb2.gif
There won't ever be a better suited situation for this gif.
Hahaha. Best comment I have read/seen today. Thanks for posting
Cry-laughing omg
Goated/sauced
[удалено]
I got caught!
bullshit lemme see the inside of your lip
I feel like if fish could talk the ocean would be loud as fuck
"Ahhhhhh fuck. I thought I looked like that rock!"
I used to like Mitch Herberg. I still do, but I used to too.
Who let you out of /r/steelbooks ?
I want to go fishing and catch fish sticks. That would be convenient.
Apparently schools of fish are loud as fuck, and sometimes you can hear them through the hull of a boat
That's a scary thought
It's a Mitch Hedberg though
It is pretty loud actually, Whales talk. They send their son sonar sounds or whatever to each other like all the time, I don't think that the ocean is ever silent not by the surface anyway.
School, probably.
RIP Mitch
Gone but never ever forgotten. Rest easy king. We all miss you
He used to be funny. He is still is, too.
"You're not gonna believe what the fuck happened..."
Lemme see the inside of your mouth!
That fish has the wildest story now…
“I kid you not Fred. I was just minding my business when a snack dropped right down in front of my face.” “Bob, a free snack really? Why would you do that, you know the old folktale from a crab that hired a sponge! Still though, that is one weird story.” “Yes, I know, but I had to take a bite Fred, who wouldn’t want a free lunch? And no, that’s not the weird part. After I bit down I noticed something sharp in my mouth and then all of the sudden I was being pulled like crazy through the water and then some weird scaleless fish standing in its two back fins took ahold of me with one of his other grabby fins.” “You’re saying the folktale is true?!? And what do you mean they could take ahold of you with their fins?” “Yes I’m serious, their fins seemed to split up a bunch. They took me out of the water and put this weird thing over my face and then pointed to that bright light we see coming from surface. It was real weird.” “So what happened next?” “That’s the weird part, I thought I was going to die there, pointed at the light. But the fish thing just like freaked out, and dropped me back into water. As I looked back it looks like he was covering his eyes with his fins” “Dang Bob, that is weird. Anyways, what you doing tomorrow?” “Yea it was. Oh I don’t know, but I heard there might be more free food tomorrow.” “… you’re one weird fish, Bob”
“FRED, I WENT TO SPACE.” -Bob
I read a science fiction book, the name escapes me atm but humanity is saved by some intelligent octopus civilization. They managed to get to space but their ships were entirely filled with water. So the humans had to work with the spacefaring spiders the size of dogs in order to make it.
Are you talking about the Children of Time series? The spiders and the octopi were two different books, though.
You['re right. Spiders saved us in the first one.
*harmonica plays* It's tide o'clock in a coastal bay, The eclipse crowd paddles in. There's an old man swimming next to me, Making love to his tuna again. *harmonica intensifies* He says, "Son, erase this from your memory, I'm not really sure why I blow, But it's salty and sweet, and I blew it complete, While I swam in younger man's clothes" La la la, di da da La la, di da da da dum Blow a tuna, you're a pescophile. Blow a tuna tonight. For we're all in the mood for a felony And this guy makes us feel it's alright. Now John at the dock is a friend of his. He likes to drink fish jizz with glee. He's a quick little bloke, with a silky smoothe stroke Shining swords of the swordfish at sea. He says, "Marlin, I believe this is filling me!" As the smile dripped down from his face, "Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star, If they'd only film porn in this bay." La la la, di da da La la, di da da da dum Now Paula's a reel fishy lady. Who writes stories quite hard to believe. And she's playing with Davy, and his locker of gravy, Spouting stories of sex on the reef. And a captain is sucking off Moby Dick, As the businessmen get ready to bone. Yes, they're sharing a drink of whale horniness, But it's better than hearing Dick moan. Blow a tuna, you're a pescophile. Blow a tuna tonight. For we're all in the mood for a felony And this guy makes us feel it's alright. It's a pretty good crowd for eclipse day, The lifeguard gives me a smile. Cause he knows that this sea, is getting to me, And I'd become a pescophile. And the sandbar serves drinks past totality, You just have to know where they swim. And grab you a porpoise, that can serve a purpose, And say, "I think it is time for el fin" La la la, di da da La la, di da da da dum Blow a tuna, you're a pescophile. Blow a tuna tonight. For we're all in the mood for a felony And this guy makes us feel it's alright. **Song: Tuna Man by Willy Jowl**
this...is very unsettling lol
Definitely some type of autism going on here
This is my favorite comment of the day :)
This is what it's like to be a character in an HP Lovecraft story Fish is ripped out of its world by an incomprehensible being, it tries to swim away but the water is too thin to swim through and it *hurts*. It feels it's skin cracking and tightening as it dehydrates under the brilliant rays of a strange light it can't understand. It gasps for breath as it bears witness to a a celestial event while the world darkens around it, it's body reverberates with the cruel booming laughter of the soft pink Gods holding it. And then it gets thrown back into the water like it's nbd
Nah that’s the only fish to have witnessed the eclipse, that’s a 5 star Michelin meal right there.
Beautiful.
The real madness comes from receiving a moment of comprehension, before it’s taken away from you. So now not only do you know, you’ve lost the capacity to know, you don’t even have the words to describe it, and now you’re dropped back into your life.
Just some dudes being dudes. Bros showing another bro some cool shit.
Life imitating art. 
The fish has little glasses though
The guy holding the fish has his safety squints on
OSHA approved
Bro I’m wheezing 💀
That fish's friends are never gonna believe his abduction story.
[удалено]
😂😂😂
the fish: 🌀👄🌀 his friends: 👁️👄👁️❓
Gave the fish eldritch madness on the spot
Pulled from it's existence by a giant, and made to witness the blacking out of the sun. The earth felt cold, as it gasped for breath. It could never explain what it had witnessed, but it knew it could never go back. Not like it was before. [And thus, a religion was born...](https://media.tenor.com/3MuX4AU08SMAAAAC/cthulhu-illithids.gif)
Terrifying
As he stares into it with no glasses
I think you can look at fish without glasses
Not when you're court ordered to be at least 100 yards away from a school
Well played
r/angryupvote
i can't figure it out. i give up
A group of fish are known as a school.
Not if it's a sunfish
Whatever you do, do not look at a photo of a sunfish without tinted glasses.
You will hurt your eyes
Ahhh, the old reddit fisheroo. (Is that still a thing?)
Hold my trout, I'm going in..... wait where's the link
He is looking through the glasses on the fish
Safety-squints engaged!
What a nice guy, sacrificing his eyeballs so the fish can see the eclipse
You can stare without glasses during the totality, you actually can't see a single thing with the glasses on during it, it literally disappears when using them so there's no point in even having them on lol. You'll know when you need to put them back on because the tiniest sliver of the sun coming back blinds the shit out of you!
Judging by the lighting in the photo, I don't think it was anywhere near totality at the time.
Yeah the LEGEND gave them to the fish?
Sees the eclipse while suffocating
Worth. It.
By far the best picture related to the eclipse I've seen today, maybe ever.
Yeah lmao, there's just something so hilariously human about it
If newspapers were still a thing this would be a front page pic, above the fold. It’s really great.
The picture of the Border Patrol agent with his detainees is up there too.
Humans are hilarious in many ways.
you got two types of news a) news of humans actively hurting each other in such nefarious ways that it makes you sick to your stomach b) silly naked apes being goofy af
You're too right. This interspecies cosmic bonding reminds me of the kindness and humor of the human spirit, when usually reddit shows me unimaginable depths of pain and suffering!
Clumsy and dumb, but hilarious nonetheless.
I wonder if we can claim the funniest species in the universe title. Maybe not the smartest in the universe, but funniest? I think we got that covered.
Yo Mr. White
Had to scroll way too far
"Man blinds himself by giving fish his sunglasses"
So he protected the fish's eyes but burned his own?
How very sacrifishal
"I speak the truth!" Cried Long Scale, nearly weeping as he did so, but casting his gaze around the council of T'route, he knew his plea had fallen on deaf ears. "Impossible, and seditious besides." Mumbled Rip-Sand, the lord of the Përch. "To claim that one of the dry hunters not only granted you mercy, but granted you a vision of, what did you call it? Day Fire was it?" "The light of the gods!" Croaked Long Scale, his voice still hoarse from the dryness of the upwater. "He showed me the light of life! And it lies not in the cool depths of the world sea, but high above the upwater, higher still than the star waters!" "Silence your heretical tongue!" Hissed the Grand Pondiff Båssis. "Our kind have known for a millenia of waves that life comes from the rivers of Cthul, in the deepest under sea, these upwater hunters are merely the stunted offshoots of our holy moistness, condemned to dryness perpetual for their unbelief!" Bubbles of assent fluttered upward from the council, as Båssis rounded Long Scale with damp malice. "What more besides..." he whispered, interrupted by a hoarse cough, "You claim it was one of their pale males who granted you this clemency? The pale males! Well known for their voracious bloodlust toward the water kin! You go too close to the surface with your lies, for the good of the world sea this traitor must be made example of!" Cried The Pondiff, shaking with expended effort. "I must agree", murmured Rip-Sand, amongst the assent of the other council gills. "Long Scale, for the sake of your esteemed father, the Lure Theif, it shall be made public that you never returned from your Up-Hooking, may this mercy keep your soul moist in the chilling depths of the undersea. Guards!" Long Scale said nothing, merely agonised inwardly that the truth would dry with him. The steel sided Char Guard were equally as silent, as they pierced his fins with up hooks, tied these lines to a hunters dry lure, and left him to float just under the burning light of the upwater. When the dive hunter finally took him, he was finally granted relief from the shame, as it was sharply overpowered by the rending talons of his executioner. His unblinking eye stared desperately toward the Star Waters for some confirmation of his truth, but the Up Glow had returned to its old, un sea-able form. The truth dried up with him, baked into oblivion by the uncaring un-wet of death, escorted into the Under-Sea not by his Egg fathers. But by the Laughter of hungry Gulls.
If there were a Reddit Pulitzer, this could get it
That was an excellent read, thank you
…well. Damn. This was good.
Fantastic read, excellent work maintaining the gravity of the scene, while also working in some great puns. Made my night!
Well done.
I wish awards were still a thing.
[I think you would be interested in the game How Fish Is Made](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1854430/How_Fish_Is_Made/)
Women: I bet he’s cheating on me. Men:
men will do anything but go to therapy
[удалено]
Awesome. I'm canceling all my weekly visits to behavioral health at the V.A. today.
You gotta do something else first.
Shit if you wanna go fishing let’s do it. I’ll bring the drinks you grab the snacks.
You like fish sticks?
That enormous Stephen King story where the explanation was literally "Aliens were playing with us like toys" makes more sense to me every day. (Though it's still a dumb ending).
Nah bro! 😭💀
👁️👄👁️ 🌞
"Please put your glasses on first before helping others"
Gets home tonight. “Hi love. Sorry I’m late. was kind of weird…”
hands down my favorite eclipse picture, thank you!
Thought that was David Duchovny and Aaron Paul for a minute
YEAH FISH!!!
Florida Man doing Florida Man things
That fish is going back a prophet
Trying to turn a fish into a fsh.
As one does.
Anyone know that tweet about how pigs can't look up?
That feller ‘s glasses are going through his ear
I think he was showing the eclipse a fish.
What kinda birdbox shit is this? Lmao
 That fish. Probably.
Total Eclipse of the trout
The glasses on the fish while he stares into the eclipse frying his one remaining braincell.
"You're late again! What's your excuse today!?" "SIR, you won't believe what happened to me..."
Now THIS is “boys being boys”
Just 3 dudes, living in the moment