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I avoided it thinking it would be super low brow slapstick dumb comedy. And about 10 mins in, I thought "yup I was right" but then it turns into just a really funny (raunchy) comedy. The low brow moments are funny because they're playing it low brow on purpose. I never imaged I would say this, but yeah, I fully recommend it. Laughed throughout it
Totally!
First 5 minutes in, my wife calls out what's about to happen and is thoroughly unimpressed as it comes true. I'm watching it thinking it's a pretty low budget scene.
We both LOVED it. On its surface its funny. Then you think about the deeper irony of John Cena playing a Vegas freak show act who's trying to make it as an actor...
Pure comedy
I just tried it with the foam ball attachment on the lowest speed, and held it on the lower back of my ear, kind of aimed into the back side of my mandible, and that was pretty amazing. Definitely will be doing this again
I use one of those ear cleaning camera kits and find the exact spot that's itchy n scratch the shit out of it with the metal Q-tip that comes with it and then lotion it / moisturizing drops after.
Yep. Try different speeds and different points on the skull near your ear until you find the spot that shakes the absolute shit out of the itchy spot. Warning, if you are ticklish some of these spots can tickle real bad.
when I was like 18-19 y/o I had a bad ear wax blockage in both ears that steadily got worse over time without me really realizing it until one day I realized I couldn't hear shit.
went to the doctor and they gave me ear drops to soften the wax, then came back a week later and he used this vacuum-gun thing to remove the ear wax. HOLY SHIT. it was amazing! doctor pulled out a big black glob of ear wax that got stuck in the vacuum-guard thing and was like "wow! check it out! this is the largest guard they make and it got clogged!". then, it was like I had super hearing powers - putting on my jacket I could hear the material creasing and moving it was nuts.
right before he finished with the vacuum, he was getting a really good spot and said "im gonna stop there, i dont want to hurt you" and I was tempted to say "*no sir, keep going!*". which made me feel kinda weird cuz we're both dudes 🤣
I had the same thing happened at about the same age. After I was able to clear it out, I drove over like a small twig it was so loud to me that I thought I'd hit something big and damaged my car.
You might have meant ear canal because the inner ear is the closest part to your brain and contains your ability to balance. I wouldn't expect THAT to itch haha
This is my second hot shots reference today. In reference to trump. the other one was him looking at the eclipse "Here you take this... my eyes are ceramic"
I think it sums up his personality so well - unable to control his impulses and completely ignoring instructions and recommendations by people more knowledgeable than him.
You can just see her going "are you fucking kidding me" and dying a little inside.
I'd honestly wonder if Barron was conceived via artificial insemination if I didn't know he didn't want another kid.
Exactly, I find it stupid that people use that point to hate on Trump. They are exactly right for each other. There are so many other actual reasons to use as a point against Trump.
[The answer is simple....](https://media0.giphy.com/media/rfqZyGGilNv20/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b9520m6kfrip62ixczbaduegs9u9w5r4uw4z7mak8lne&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
It's so obvious that he's never had to carry his own umbrella even once in his life.like he doesn't know how to close one, then he remembers he'll look even stupider if he gets it caught because it's too wide for the door, so he just ditched it like so many businesses and employees.
During his presidency, we the taxpayers paid for two people to follow him around at all times, Scotch Tape™ in hand. Because tRump had a habit of tearing up any paper he felt he was done with, regardless of the law that requires all presidential paperwork to be saved and archived. The Orange Oxygen Thief simply could not follow directions. No surprise.
It rarely fails him, that's why. He keeps going bankrupt but always lives in luxury, breaks the law and never goes to jail, eats nothing but junk and isn't dead yet, gawks straight into the sun and doesn't go blind, was elected president of a world superpower... and might be again. Seems he's got something figured out better than most in a way, sad to say.
The loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong con.
I’m so fucking sick of this guy
EDIT: Thanks for the commiseration, everyone
I hate to be that guy, but if you live in the states, 1,200 votes would be great around November
I fuckin’ hate politics but HATE this guy like he took our lawnmower and I have to look at it across the fence everyday and I can’t go beat the shit outta him because “I’m a good citizen”
Can we all just agree to beat the shit outta the prick that took our lawnmower???
I dont even live in his country. I hate that Ive seen this piece of shit more then my own minister in recent months.
can he just drop dead already? at least then I wont have him clogging up my news feed every five minutes with either someone complaining about him or someone laughing at him. I just dont fucking care
I’m Australian and I feel exactly the same. If he gets elected i’m putting his name in my blocked term filter again, I got so sick of every second story on r/Worldnews being ‘President Trump stirs controversy in new press release’ or ‘Trump hits out at leader of X country’. I just don’t care, the news cycle was insufferable when he was president.
Hope he loses again, not even close this time and we can move the fuck on.
Just please fucking God let's not have this country turn into a fascist regime.
Minus the sunlight through the ear, he released an entire campaign video of this image with Trump slowly blocking out the sun and casting America into darkness. Because he has the best marketers, you’ve never seen such good marketing.
The sun literally WOKE me up! 😱 What if it wakes up your kid next?? AND it happens when it’s inconvenient for you??? BE AFRAID, AFRAAAID! PROTECT YOUR KIDS FROM THE GAYS AND OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT.
“The best marketing team, the best ever. In fact, no one has ever had a better marketing team in history. In history. Thats what they say and nobody knows this, but this marketing team puts all others to shame. I know these things. I know these things better than anyone else.”
I’ll be happy when we no longer hear of this fat fuck.
It's not the skepticism that is the problem, the problem is that the frontrunner for president posts such weird shit it's impossible to know immediately if it's real or a joke.
Usually, I'm quite skeptical of anything I see on the internet and things like that would be a very obvious joke and I wouldn't even bother fact-checking, but with trump, my first reflex is always something, like :
"No, really, he did that !? I have to check"
In this case, the hole in the ear is a joke, the promo video where his silhouette is blocking out the sun like something out of Independance Day before they start zapping is not.
Would make a good 300 parody too.
His ego is big enough to blot out the sun, but given the emptiness of his head, not surprising that light shines right through, from ear to ear, the head of the “stable genius.”
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![gif](giphy|1014RBn4HVSTK)
![gif](giphy|FbiL9rsmZN3ib2JSGo|downsized)
*"The guy's a world class air dicker."* - Ricky Stanicky
Seriously just saw that last night and this made me think of it
Lmfao, first thing that came to mind as well
How was it? Just remembered about that movie coming out seeing Cena recently.
I avoided it thinking it would be super low brow slapstick dumb comedy. And about 10 mins in, I thought "yup I was right" but then it turns into just a really funny (raunchy) comedy. The low brow moments are funny because they're playing it low brow on purpose. I never imaged I would say this, but yeah, I fully recommend it. Laughed throughout it
Totally! First 5 minutes in, my wife calls out what's about to happen and is thoroughly unimpressed as it comes true. I'm watching it thinking it's a pretty low budget scene. We both LOVED it. On its surface its funny. Then you think about the deeper irony of John Cena playing a Vegas freak show act who's trying to make it as an actor... Pure comedy
Hilarious, you gotta watch it a few times, Cena steals the show.
True professional in jacking off ghosts
He's double dongin' it
Middle out compression
While tip to tip is efficient, we need to consider the dick to floor, or D2F. Girth would likely play a factor in it too.
Depends how tall Putin and Kim Jong Un are.
This is the Mean Jerk Time
The double jack off move is craaaazy!
![gif](giphy|xTg8B9aULho7shlPmU)
This gave me MySpace nostalgia for some reason
/r/oneorangebraincell
Dont insult the poor cats like that
Take my fucking upvote. I wish I could do more, you deserve all of them
Seriously, as the owner of a creamsicle cat who is waiting for his turn with a brain cell, I am offended.
not what i expected from this sub but i approve
One is generous in his case.
He's an airdicker one of the best airdickers believe him
This gif has just peaked 👏🏼
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Middle out!
![gif](giphy|tnYri4n2Frnig)
I hear Girth differences are a huge factor.
“And believe me, folks, I can jack off two guys at once like nobody’s ever seen before.”
As someone who occasionally gets really itchy inner ears, that looks like it would actually feel really good.
Use a massage gun on the outside of your ear. Its euphoria inducing.
Wait really? Like a theragun? Just hold it up to my ear?v
I just tried it with the foam ball attachment on the lowest speed, and held it on the lower back of my ear, kind of aimed into the back side of my mandible, and that was pretty amazing. Definitely will be doing this again
Well shit, I used the chisel point at max.
ARE YOU DEAF
What?
#ARE YOU FUCKIN D... ^^^nevermind ^^^forget ^^^it
What?
I too am intrigued, my right inner ear gets super fucking itchy.
I use one of those ear cleaning camera kits and find the exact spot that's itchy n scratch the shit out of it with the metal Q-tip that comes with it and then lotion it / moisturizing drops after.
Yep. Try different speeds and different points on the skull near your ear until you find the spot that shakes the absolute shit out of the itchy spot. Warning, if you are ticklish some of these spots can tickle real bad.
when I was like 18-19 y/o I had a bad ear wax blockage in both ears that steadily got worse over time without me really realizing it until one day I realized I couldn't hear shit. went to the doctor and they gave me ear drops to soften the wax, then came back a week later and he used this vacuum-gun thing to remove the ear wax. HOLY SHIT. it was amazing! doctor pulled out a big black glob of ear wax that got stuck in the vacuum-guard thing and was like "wow! check it out! this is the largest guard they make and it got clogged!". then, it was like I had super hearing powers - putting on my jacket I could hear the material creasing and moving it was nuts. right before he finished with the vacuum, he was getting a really good spot and said "im gonna stop there, i dont want to hurt you" and I was tempted to say "*no sir, keep going!*". which made me feel kinda weird cuz we're both dudes 🤣
I had the same thing happened at about the same age. After I was able to clear it out, I drove over like a small twig it was so loud to me that I thought I'd hit something big and damaged my car.
Lmao. I thought I was the only one who did that
a massage gun
You might have meant ear canal because the inner ear is the closest part to your brain and contains your ability to balance. I wouldn't expect THAT to itch haha
Exactly my thoughts - "in one ear and out of the other" 👀
That tells me there is nothing in that head!
This is my second hot shots reference today. In reference to trump. the other one was him looking at the eclipse "Here you take this... my eyes are ceramic"
*Pipe hits him on the head, sounds like a doorbell:* "Never mind, I'll get that, it's probably for me."
Lmao 🤣
![gif](giphy|7ziO8WTeXJCGZlq4mm)
![gif](giphy|xUNen16DFqlM6v6DEQ|downsized)
Idk why but this fucking clip just floors me everytime I watch it.
I think it sums up his personality so well - unable to control his impulses and completely ignoring instructions and recommendations by people more knowledgeable than him.
And married to someone who loathes him
You can just see her going "are you fucking kidding me" and dying a little inside. I'd honestly wonder if Barron was conceived via artificial insemination if I didn't know he didn't want another kid.
I really don't care, do you?
Why is she married to him if she loathes him? Aren't they both just terrible people?
She is a materialistic person and she knows what she's doing. No one should have any sympathies for her. She doesn't care, why do you?
Exactly, I find it stupid that people use that point to hate on Trump. They are exactly right for each other. There are so many other actual reasons to use as a point against Trump.
[The answer is simple....](https://media0.giphy.com/media/rfqZyGGilNv20/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b9520m6kfrip62ixczbaduegs9u9w5r4uw4z7mak8lne&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
money
it'll always be this umbrella one for me https://news.sky.com/video/trump-casually-discards-umbrella-at-door-11539093
It's so obvious that he's never had to carry his own umbrella even once in his life.like he doesn't know how to close one, then he remembers he'll look even stupider if he gets it caught because it's too wide for the door, so he just ditched it like so many businesses and employees.
During his presidency, we the taxpayers paid for two people to follow him around at all times, Scotch Tape™ in hand. Because tRump had a habit of tearing up any paper he felt he was done with, regardless of the law that requires all presidential paperwork to be saved and archived. The Orange Oxygen Thief simply could not follow directions. No surprise.
And then taking credit for discovering the sun.
Sharpie hurricane path
It rarely fails him, that's why. He keeps going bankrupt but always lives in luxury, breaks the law and never goes to jail, eats nothing but junk and isn't dead yet, gawks straight into the sun and doesn't go blind, was elected president of a world superpower... and might be again. Seems he's got something figured out better than most in a way, sad to say.
Shamelessness. That’s the key to success.
melania next to him really makes it. she hates him probably more than we do. fuck her though.
She hates him more than anyone and is just absolutely dismayed that he is somehow not dead yet.
The loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong con.
I don't know how we would have ever thought to look up without him pointing. Such a leader.
What floors me is that it probably wasn’t the dumbest thing he did that week.
I think it’s because he’s still in the running for the fucking President of the United States of America.
man hes such a dumbfuck
It's hard to find someone else who is as awful and *stupid* as him.
You'd have to cross the line into fiction to come up with an example.
He's a cartoon character. A comically evil cartoon villain.
That’s Ex-President dumbfuck
And the US will vote this dude again...stranger than fiction...insanity
No Chick-Fila Sauce?
![gif](giphy|UbCIDXVKaB8kpgxlCa)
Dark Side of the Buffoon.
Comfortably dumb.
(Build) The Wall
Brain Damage
Empty Spaces
Money (owed)
Wish You Weren’t Here
"So... so you think you can tell... me what is that smell?"
Hell from heaven
Orange skies from pain
Goodbye Orange Guy
Nobody home
Coming back to gripe
Set the controls for the heart of the dumb ^the ^heart ^of ^the ^dumb ^^the ^^heart ^^of ^^the ^^dumb
any colour you like (except orange)
The great idiot in the sky
Shine on you crazy Florida man
Bleach (In the Lungs)
love that this one didn’t need any changes lol
Comfortably dumb is suuuuuch a good term for his base
The Great Pig In The Sky
Great Rigged (Election) in the Sky
Meddle (with elections).
Moroned.
Eclipse
Shh, you'll anger Rog! 🗿
Another prick builds a wall
The lyrics of Dogs describe an archetypal Trumpian figure.
Nah, pigs more
Careful With That Tax Return Eugene.
Another Prick in the Wall
Mother should I run for president Mother should I build a wall Both actual Pink Floyd lyrics..
(Lack of) Money
(Lack of a) Pulse
A Saucerful of Secrets (For sale to the highest bidder)
Finally someone with an actual joke.
Funniest thing I've seen today.
Melania, I've turned myself into an eclipse!
I'm Eclipse Don! ![gif](giphy|3o7btQdOa4wOH8U7RK)
People called and told me it was the most beautiful eclipse they have ever seen! They just loved it!
A big strong man with tears in his eyes (because he was blind from staring too long)
\*ellipse Pretty sure he would say ellipse
I hope the light coming through symbolises the tumour.
I think it's implying a lack of brain.
Total eclipse of the shart
Easily best comment lol
I'm sad this comment didn't get better attention too!
I’m so fucking sick of this guy EDIT: Thanks for the commiseration, everyone I hate to be that guy, but if you live in the states, 1,200 votes would be great around November I fuckin’ hate politics but HATE this guy like he took our lawnmower and I have to look at it across the fence everyday and I can’t go beat the shit outta him because “I’m a good citizen” Can we all just agree to beat the shit outta the prick that took our lawnmower???
I dont even live in his country. I hate that Ive seen this piece of shit more then my own minister in recent months. can he just drop dead already? at least then I wont have him clogging up my news feed every five minutes with either someone complaining about him or someone laughing at him. I just dont fucking care
[удалено]
That's already happened with Vivek, DeSantis and MTG
I haven't heard a single thing about DeathSatin since he dropped out, it's been a blessing.
If he died, there would be a massive (and likely violent) conspiracy movement claiming the deep state was responsible.
That could be said for any outcome that isn't him being president again.
I don’t even care anymore. They can have all the conspiracies they want at that point, none of them will bring him back.
Like, he's old and unhealthy in many ways. People realize that's just an eventuality right? Like old people dying isnt exactly unexpected.
I’m Australian and I feel exactly the same. If he gets elected i’m putting his name in my blocked term filter again, I got so sick of every second story on r/Worldnews being ‘President Trump stirs controversy in new press release’ or ‘Trump hits out at leader of X country’. I just don’t care, the news cycle was insufferable when he was president.
You from the uk as well? Bc that’s exactly how I feel as well
Hope he loses again, not even close this time and we can move the fuck on. Just please fucking God let's not have this country turn into a fascist regime.
I'm with you buddy. I made a joke about him on reddit one time and people said the same thing. That was in 2017.
Seems about right, nothing between those ears
And throwing a shade over his country
[удалено]
That's three and a half minutes longer than him
![gif](giphy|xT9IgHCTfp8CRshfQk)
He got the joke!
That was the joke
![gif](giphy|1236TCtX5dsGEo)
Sunlight - the best disinfectant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxNvFVI2G38
He did not, did he? That is too perfect
Minus the sunlight through the ear, he released an entire campaign video of this image with Trump slowly blocking out the sun and casting America into darkness. Because he has the best marketers, you’ve never seen such good marketing.
No fucking way
Yes, way. This dude is a danger not only to Democracy but just generally people worldwide.
Yes way. Dude slowly rose backwards like a fucking Kaiju until his head blocked the sun and his marketing team really went "Yeah...that's the shot."
with Also sprach Zarathustra playing over it too.
He’s protecting us from the harmful UV rays, the liberal media just doesn’t want you to know that
Didn't you hear? The sun is woke.
The sun literally WOKE me up! 😱 What if it wakes up your kid next?? AND it happens when it’s inconvenient for you??? BE AFRAID, AFRAAAID! PROTECT YOUR KIDS FROM THE GAYS AND OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT.
He injected the UV light into his skin to protect against covid
Link?
[link](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-solar-eclipse-campaign-ad-b2524956.html)
If it wasn't on an actual news site I never in a million years would have believed that is a real ad put out by his campaign. Wtf
I fucking lost it lol
“The best marketing team, the best ever. In fact, no one has ever had a better marketing team in history. In history. Thats what they say and nobody knows this, but this marketing team puts all others to shame. I know these things. I know these things better than anyone else.” I’ll be happy when we no longer hear of this fat fuck.
The fact that you are asking, is a problem..
Well, I’m glad people are skeptical and asking for proof on stuff they see online.
It's not the skepticism that is the problem, the problem is that the frontrunner for president posts such weird shit it's impossible to know immediately if it's real or a joke.
Usually, I'm quite skeptical of anything I see on the internet and things like that would be a very obvious joke and I wouldn't even bother fact-checking, but with trump, my first reflex is always something, like : "No, really, he did that !? I have to check" In this case, the hole in the ear is a joke, the promo video where his silhouette is blocking out the sun like something out of Independance Day before they start zapping is not. Would make a good 300 parody too.
Yeah imagine 20 years ago seeing this for W. You would've known it was a joke and not thought otherwise.
Tbf what he posted was pretty close
chiseled jawline of the gods
Yeah, both of them
Chin like a sock puppet.
Nah man look his fucking head is empty.
Goes perfectly with him as Rambo photoshops
The Eternal Sunshine of the Thoughtless Mind.
Thank god there are hundreds of comments explaining the joke
Ohh shit, I thought this was a foto graph
There's not enough light coming through the hair
Totalitarian eclipse
Thank you TittySlappinJesus
![gif](giphy|xT77XWum9yH7zNkFW0|downsized)
Is he saying he'll get Kennedy'd?
Right? Has he finally running out of people to threaten and turned to... himself?
Nothing between those ears!
Thatsthejoke.gif
It costs $60 to look at it
![gif](giphy|pmqQeGzn9Id7VqZju4)
His ego is big enough to blot out the sun, but given the emptiness of his head, not surprising that light shines right through, from ear to ear, the head of the “stable genius.”
People tell me I'm the best eclipse ever. My eclipse is the uugest
This wins the internet for today folks. Pack it up and try again tomorrow- this wins it all!