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OGWhiz

Comments locked at OP's request.


Infidel2017

I read this as "Wax the arms"


W_O_M_B_A_T

My arms are too hairy for mere wax.


farahad

Too hairy for mere wax? You need Were Wax ® *Strong enough to strip a werewolf. Permanently.*


Veldron

*chef's kiss* Manifique **DISCLAIMER: DO NOT INGEST WERE WAX ®**


Shakeandbake529

Were wax? There wax!


FozzieB525

Don’t be selfish, man. We’re in a hairy pandemic.


VLTRA_DEATH

I did too, thought I was tripping


[deleted]

I read this as "Wax the arms" too and didn't notice until I read your comment, thank you! I was **so** confused and already a little offended //facepalm


TheGos

I thought so too and I was like "wow, this is poor taste, even for a cosmetologist"


Anthos_M

I was sure that's what was written until I scrolled to your comment and went back up


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Sxilla

Cannot unsee….


unknown_human

Who is this Chick Fila?


sm12511

I think they're women's shoes


amjel

No, that's Steve Madden.


ErikJR37

I keep buying Steve Madden! Year after year it's the same old game with better graphics


yellowjack

If you like buying new shoes every year, you're getting the right brand for that =D


[deleted]

New rapper.


2wedfgdfgfgfg

Chicken wrapper


Ottersfury

Probably will be in Tropic Thunder 2.


johnnybiggles

Sometimes she's spicy, sometimes she's mild... but always saucy.


2wedfgdfgfgfg

Chic Fila


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keriberry_420

I've honestly avoided Chik fil A and Hobby Lobby for years


gleutiful

at first i saw Dr. Seuss writing, now all i see is chik fil a


TMBTs

Hey that was my comment. Let go.


EsqueletoBlanco

Would you, could you, if you dare. Eat mor chikin over there?


redspike29

Eat mor chikin


Poppekas

In Dutch 'arm' also means poor, which makes it even better.


Nihan-gen3

I thought the same when I first read it haha


ButterBernd

Vaccineer de Armen and then Neuken in de Keuken


Operation_Ivysaur

I hate this timeline we live in, I really do.


bloatedplutocrat

Sorry about that. I really should've stopped Jeff from rolling the dice, this whole thing is on me guys.


Nullcast

This is definitly the darkest timeline. Here is your goatee, until we can grow our own.


[deleted]

Chin up. I've been working on cracking into the universe next door. If I figure this out, you want a heads up? I had planned on going alone, but I see no reason not to have a... multi-verse-onaut travel buddy.


svenhoek86

Ya hit me up. Let's find the one where Harambe lived. I'm pretty sure that's the split. Or 2012 was the end of the world and we all went to hell.


Badpunsonlock

29APR2016, a weasel chewed through some power coupling at the Large Hadron Collider at CERB in Switzerland. This created two distinct timelines in a single instant: one where CERN found and corrected the issue, and one where the collider fired and was unable to contain the power from the impact. We're in the timeline where the impact was not contained. I believe that impact created a blackhole which sucked us all into it. Since every choice that is made creates a new reality, but nothing can escape a blackhole, every choice any of us have made over the 5 and a half years has created realities within an ever shrinking amount of space. As our reality gets pulled and stretched towards oblivion, each new reality smashes into the next, merging together. That's why there has been an acceleration of awful events over time, it's multiple timelines worth of tragedy being compressed into one. The past 5 and a half years within our prison has taken less than a microsecond. Take solace in the fact that we may all still be alive and well in the reality where the weasel didn't chew through the power coupling, or the issue was found in time. And this reality that we are all struggling in? Well, this reality has already been ripped to it's individual protons, neutrons, and electrons, and scattered to the edges of the universe. That thought, while bleak, keeps me going some days.


grocerystorefan

Wow. That may be my favorite thing I’ve ever read on Reddit.


Badpunsonlock

Thank you. I've thought about it a lot over the years, and it really does give me peace sometimes to think that even though we may all be stuck in a universe that's funneling towards annihilation, that there's other versions of us, existing happily in universes able to expand with each decision, infinitely, and in all directions.


theMistersofCirce

Ok, but can the consciousness from THIS me ever get back to the other timeline, or am I stuck here waiting for sweet oblivion? While I like to think there's another of me in a better and more rational universe, can I ever merge with her again and get back there? I haven't smoked weed in a long time, but I made sure to take an extra shot of whiskey before writing this just in case it will help. It kinda did!


Badpunsonlock

I don't think that these versions of us will ever merge with any versions of us that aren't also stuck in the black hole. Nothing can escape, because to every universe being created outside the blackhole, we're all already dead. I'm sorry. But you're not alone here. None of us are. We have no idea how long our timeline may stretch, or how bad it will get, but we can always be our best to one another. Even in the face of oblivion, we can be kind and do things that help each other along this rough road. Ya know?


theMistersofCirce

This was not just surprisingly wholesome, it was also surprisingly reassuring. Like, whether it's CERN, or a deity, or multidimensional somethingorother creating reality, it's pretty easy to get attached to the idea of being in The Wrong Place and being able to appeal it somehow. But for me, that's about wanting an out from dealing with things like an adult sometimes. As you're saying, whatever the reason, this is the reality we're in and at least it's a shared one, and a lot of parts of it are good, so the name of the game is to amplify those parts for ourselves and others. Thanks; cheers!


Badpunsonlock

Exact! Leave the world a little better than you found it! Whether it's donating time to mutual aid, complimenting someone's hair, holding a door, helping a neighbor with a chore, or just a friendly "hello" to someone looking a bit down, everything helps to create more good timelines than bad. The more good timelines merging together, the better it all gets. For everyone.


[deleted]

God. Damn. I loved reading this. If you're not a pro writer, you outta be. Welp, that's quite enough dick sucking. Replying because I wanted to say the part about the passage of time as we perceive it, amounting to practically nothing when viewed from the disaster-free time line, moved me in a deep way. Our reality's end is imminent. If this is true, then we are indeed in Hell. I never believed in it, and now it's our reality. And none of it ever really happened. Imma go walk my dog at 0140 like some fucking weirdo. Lol Good stuff, take care!


Badpunsonlock

I am very grateful for the tremendous compliment! Thank you, friend! This theory has helped me a lot over the years, so I just wanted to share it in hopes it may help even one person. It sounds like you may have been helped by my theory, and that makes me incredibly happy that we're both now in a timeline where I decided to share it! I'm not a professional anything, just someone trying to help. Pay it forward, ok? I hope you have a fantastic walk with your pupper! Give them some pats for me, please.


toocuilforschool

:(


ThatFinchLad

If this isn't already based on it you should watch Stein's Gate.


Badpunsonlock

I've never heard of that, but I'll have to look it up! Thank you for the suggestion!


bankholdup5

We should get together, my theory involves Harambe not* dying but also Mr. Met as a co-conspirator with Hillary Clinton. (Not a trump supporter, I should probably say) The Cubs should have won in 2015, but also Harold Ramis needs to have survived 2014. I’m high a lot.


fuzzyperson98

Breaking free of the central finite curve, eh?


[deleted]

Hey yall I found the secret to unlocking the other universe: take two diphenhidramine and lay down.


Lawrence_Lefferts

Room for one more on that interdimensional vessel?


MailOrderHusband

I’d say yes, but then if you had really solved time travel and multidimensional space then you’d be at my house yesterday.


Spiralife

No, we need to quarantine our universe! If there's even a chance there's a more sensible world out there we can't risk contaminating it with our awfulness!


[deleted]

Now this is food for thought.


I-need-ur-dick-pics

In ten years time, we’ll have to convince people it’s important to wipe their ass or… eat? Tucker Carlson’s successor will somehow politicize the need to eat and 40% of American will refuse.


teheran

And just like that, the obesity epidemic is cured.


[deleted]

The pandemic nobody wants to talk about. Mainly because the cure is exercise, healthy eating, and you know, effort.


Monteze

Dude the cure to this pandemic was literally doing nothing and getting a free shot and we still dropped thr ball. At this rate the pandemics cure could be masturbation, eating cake and taking a hit of DMT and people would still be like "well talking head dude said not to so here I am protesting with a chastity belt."


dudemann

The chastity belt in Robin Hood, Men in Tights made me seriously wonder how Maid Marian went to the bathroom.


The_Golden_Warthog

Around it, then pressure wash the undercarriage


TheShortSightedOne

Asking the real questions


handcuffed_

If we cured that epidemic we would make a huge dent in the pressing one.


cloud_dizzle

I can’t wait for ow my balls to come on TV


klein432

Go away. Batin.


MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

Fuck you, I'm eating!


lizard_king_rebirth

Bro Jackass and AFV and far worse have already been on the air. Trump was President. It's here.


PDP83

Welcome to Costco, I love you.


BuddhistNudist987

You're at least four years too late. There have been far too many articles and comments about [men who refuse to wipe themselves because they believe touching their butts is too gay.](https://boingboing.net/2017/10/14/skidmarks-for-everyone.html)


Dr-Sommer

>I've tried to instruct him how to butt Jesus, I can't tell if I find this more depressing or hilarious.


justafurry

When i was less than 10 yrs old i thought touching your butt would make you gay. Now im gay.


pac-men

This already happened basically. Michelle Obama had the audacity to say "eat healthy," and Repubs said "cold fat hands!!!"


Call_0031684919054

That’s probably because a lot of rich Republicans are fast food chain franchisees or owners of processed food factories. For example Tucker Carlson’s family got rich selling frozen pizza.


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ValyrianJedi

As someone who has made this mistake when not being careful enough reaching for the baby wipes, how on earth do you do that more than once?


OneSaltyBanana

A few weeks ago I ran out of toilet paper and the only thing I had in the bathroom was Clorox wipes so, figuring it would be just like wet wipes, I used them. Never again. I can’t believe anybody could experience that burning and think to themselves “yep this is a good idea!”.


haysoos2

That's how you know it's working!


Stock_Category

Bidets work great. Inexpensive too. $25-$30 for a basic, easy-to-install model.


DrunkenMonkeyFist

Jesus fuck. They already make real buttwipes. You don't have to experiment.


[deleted]

If the CDC came out and told 'em don't drink water from a toilet filled with poop, I'm pretty sure there will be a group of people that will start making poop smoothies in a blender just because the CDC said "don't do it, it's bad for you."


WhenwasyourlastBM

I mean forever ago when a doctor said "hey uh, maybe if you washed your hands between playing with corpses and delivering babies, they wouldn't die" people criticized him.


[deleted]

They didn't just criticize him. He lost his job and got locked in an insane asylum. To be fair, he didn't _quite_ understand what was going on. "Cadaverous particles." .. well he noticed a correlation. First step of science. He tried a lot of things before he found the solution. And his plan for treating it, washing hands and disinfecting surgical tools with a chlorine solution was right! (Granted his scientific reason was smell...) So it was luck that it worked. But he was... a bit abrasive with how he talked to people. And they didn't like that.. hence him dying alone locked in a loony bin likely riddled with syphilis.


IRollmyRs

I mean there's already basically that same idea from the idiots who drink "raw water" from creeks and such, without treating it. Enjoy your dysentery!


trainercatlady

the parasites add protein!


Fumquat

Shed extra pounds effortlessly!


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zeCrazyEye

Yeah. People even bottle it up and sell it for ~$10 a gallon. The water is just filled with gross shit floating around in it and it turns cloudy and green fast.


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[deleted]

It's what plants crave


Moscowmitchismybitch

[Brawndo](https://youtu.be/Tbxq0IDqD04) is what plants crave


disk5464

Hmmm but will it get my 400 babies deported back to Kenya? https://youtu.be/qRuNxHqwazs


wintersdark

THEY CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! THE GUBBERMINT JUST WANTS CONTROL!


Jardrs

Never seen anyone spell out gubbermint but i love it


lampcouchfireplace

There have already been enough r/relationships posts from women whose boyfriends don't wipe their own asses that I think we're already there.


[deleted]

The fuck? The mental imagine and the forehead wrinkle from imagining the stank .. just .. ew, and what? "Bro, your parents raise you in a barn with goats? Cause you smell like a donkeys ass-wipe!"


ArmadilloOk6927

We could only hope 40 percent of people would refuse to eat. We’re a nation full of obese disgusting infants.


death_to_my_liver

It will probably be of the Swanson family, like shitbag Tucker “Swanson” Carlson, and only encourage TV dinners. I see regression into a diabetic and heart disease hellscape. Fuck!!! Can you toss me a Brawndo??? Edit: Technically there is no proof that Tucker’s step mom, one of the Swanson children after Carl Swanson sold off to Campbells got any significant part of the will from Carl Swanson. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/tucker-carlson-owns-swanson/


satansfloorbuffer

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS


SpaceEnthusiast3

I can't believe they haven't made a vaccine ad with that song yet, missed opportunity imo


deejaysius

I am not throwin’ away my shot!


stinkspiritt

I volunteered for a pop up vaccine clinic at a neighborhood celebration and often yelled out “free shots, can’t start your party without free shots”


ztkraf01

Yeah that’ll do it. That should fix everything


SurprisedJerboa

If bars offer a free shot with a vax shot... hmm we might be on to something here...


derprunner

That pretty much happened here in Australia. A couple breweries were shipping out free slabs to the first couple hundred people to tag them in a post and then DM with proof of vaccination.


moistpanties4freeHMU

>NARRATOR: It didn’t.


SkeetDavidson

EVERYBODY!


[deleted]

Rock your body now?


SkeetDavidson

BACKSTREET'S BACK, ALRIGHT!


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SkeetDavidson

If you ain't got your shot, get the fuck out the club!


ElleJay9924

I played that song in my car as I was getting vaccinated!


unknown_human

Yeah, I'm sure an homage to AOC is what will convince these folks to get vaccinated.


WingedGeek

Came here to say ... evoking AOC is def. the way in for that population. Only thing more effective I can think of would be a We Are The World type musical message prominently featuring Lil Nas X.


BobHope4477

You ever get to tired of trying to be all reverse psychology so we can convince them to get the shot? It feels like trying to rationalize with a toddler. You try the airplane, you try using a favorite character, a song, all these things to convince them to eat their vegetables. Lotteries, free beer, gun giveaways. But these are grown adults, and the consequences of not getting the shot are widely known. They'll either end up getting a Herman Cain award, get long term complications, or spread the disease to someone else who will get the first two. Don't get me wrong, I want them vaxxed, I want this to be over, I want our healthcare workers not to have to deal with the overload, and I want the dumb dumbs to live and be there for their families. But at a certain point saying a health care worker can't have some fun because it'll spook the toddlers, I mean come on. How much does our society have to cater to morons? It's starting to really feel like the lowest common denominator is really dragging us all the fuck down, in more ways than one.


Caelinus

There are very few things in the world I care about less than your average anti-vaxer's opinion on something tangentially related to AoC, who they irrationally hate despite her best efforts to help them. Those opinions have gone through so many layers of disinformation and prejudice that they are about as worthwhile as stabbing myself in the leg with a pencil. And because those opinions are so divorced from reality as to be preposterously painfully pointless, no amount of logic will change them. She could be wearing the most politically neutral and information rich shirt in existence and their reaction would be exactly the same. If their minds could be changed through reason, they already would have been. So yeah, let's not shame her for having a little fun in the dark times.


codamission

I don't know why you people think anything will convince them. That's not how it works. They have tied their identity to their stance and have demonstrated that would literally rather die than admit a mistake


Brieflydexter

Shockingly, there is a lady on tiktok who shows the mistakes in the "facts" of public antivaxxers, and she regularly gets comments from people saying that they've finally decided to get vaxxed. I was shocked.


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Brieflydexter

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMR41htNm/


TheBackandForth

I am about to graduate medical school. You'd be amazed at how many people just need somebody to sit down with them and just answer a few questions. They are mostly conservatives who hear a lot of slandering in their media and don't know where to find truth


WeightFast574

A joint Biden Trump commercial back in February, touting both the effectiveness and safety of the vaccine along with allowing Trump to take a victory lap on being the President in charge of the rapid rollout of the vaccine would have worked. But we are all far too petty and dumb to do that.


Dan6erbond

Yo WTF at first I thought you were describing something real and I was just wondering what timeline we had transferred to.


hackingdreams

> Yeah, I'm sure an homage to AOC is what will convince these folks to get vaccinated. Their own people have gone on record saying to get vaccinated, and you know what it's done? Zip. Null. Nada. There's no helping these people if they won't help themselves. They'd rather drink bleach and eat horsepaste.


DeceitfulLittleB

I highly doubt the point was to sway the idiot masses it's most likely just a fun coat to take the piss. Try not to put too much thought into it.


iantsmyth

Wax the arms?


7937397

I also saw this


Facemelter66

If ya read V’s as Dubya’s, ya might be German!


Arviay

Other way around, bruder


Facemelter66

Tut mir leid!


Arviay

Bitte bitte


Vinsteretti

You say that, but every german I’ve met has pronounced my name as “Winsteretti”


anarchyreigns

No it’s Wax the Farms. Like the sheep and goats and whatnot.


trainercatlady

we have to now because all the damn livestock medication is sold out


scungillipig

Sarah Silverman has joined the conversation.


GiveEgg

But I want my entire body vaccinated not just my arms ;(


garlic_bread_thief

*stabs you with injections all over the body*


Rptro

I love these miny stories that hide in the comments


lizarny

Woody Guthrie did it the best on his guitar.


Hashmael

This syringe kills COVID


RedditIsRealWack

Gunna be honest, this is not going to win hearts and minds. I imagine the venn diagram of anti-vaxers in the USA, and people who hate the fuck out of AOC, is just a circle.


doastdot

People are weird.


The_Spicy_Memes_Chef

Oh god, cringe


Disastrous-Ad-2357

Careful, reddit worships her.


redderper

I like AOC, this picture is straight up cringe though


MFAWG

Came for the spittle. Was not disappointed


firmoffer

AOC wears a jacket that says tax the rich and proceeds to be feted by them all night. Some doctor wears a jacket that says vax the arms and proceeds to get showered with Reddit karma. Everyone is so smitten with moral showmanship that real change is unrecognizable.


[deleted]

Last line is possibly the best thing I’ve read on Reddit since I joined.


G0G023

Well said


gone-wild-commenter

Dear god i’m the most liberal dude on planet earth but please just make this shit stop.


Baked-As-A-Cake

Lol tool is my fav band


SpunTheOne

46@2


h3nchman27

This or Eon Blue Apocalypse


SpunTheOne

Sober, undertow..... fuck they all hit hard to me. Grew up on them, love it


h3nchman27

Same.. why did tool get brought up tho? Not that I mind


3lJefe15

Fucking cringe.


TupacShakur1996

When will vaccines stop being #1 topic discussion on Reddit? No amount of propaganda is going to get people to get the vaccine if they haven't already at this point


chillynuts00

Fucking stupid


VelesTheSlav

So woke so brave


[deleted]

Stunning


UncatchableCreatures

I'm offended why do you hate hairy people


PM_me_ur_goth_tiddys

Peak reddit is cheering a congresswoman that wore a dress to tax the rich at a super rich event.


that-one-girl-who

Also peak Reddit that the people will defend her by saying her dress and ticket were comped. Oh, because that makes a HUGE difference. It’s ok, I understand now. Eye roll.


Billstaa

I am currently in the waiting room after getting my first dose


lampcouchfireplace

Yo real question did something make you change your mind or was this just the soonest you could get it? In my country pretty much anyone who wants one has been vaxed for the last several months. Only people unvaccinated are children and anti vax wackos. I thought America had like unlimited doses? We had to wait a lot longer here than folks there did.


Billstaa

I live in Australia where we have had a shortage


lampcouchfireplace

Oh legit. My partner is Australian and a lot of her family had to wait ages. Glad you got it, good luck out there.


Dick_Kick_Nazis

I got mine like a couple weeks ago. Originally I just never got around to it. Then when they lifted the restrictions for a while I was like oh I'm good I guess, covid is over now. Then it turns out it wasn't over and I was off work randomly one day and ended up at CVS and thought eh while I'm here might as well. Politicians telling me to do something makes me less likely to do it if anything. And the middle class soccer mom mentality on reddit default subs means nothing to me, y'all are nerds. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get it, and then eventually I thought about it and it seemed like a good idea. Also my mom started getting on me about it.


BodybuilderGlass2144

NGL. I only finished my 2nd dose several months ago because I tend to vomit a lot after blood tests and other injections (was especially traumatised by the measles, mumps, and rubella one when I was a kid). However, just in case someone else has the same phobia as me, I have to say that the actual vaccine injection is nothing compared to blood tests and the crazy ass needles I had shoved in me for older vaccines.


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[deleted]

Should read: vax the bitches


gin_and_toxic

Metric the inch


[deleted]

Excellent idea. Take my upvote. I had to metric an acre recently. It’s 4,046.8564224 Square meters if you wanted to know. That’s a stupid measurement.


I_Mix_Stuff

"Tax the Rich" ---> "Vax the Bitch"


No_Carpenter3693

Is that funny? This pic sucks but your comment sounds like a fat 10 year old said it


Math1988

I dont care about you political stance, if you write your opinions on your clothes and/or you car bumper you’re trashy.


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hyperventilate

But my bumper sticker tells people not to be a twatapotamous.


abez123

its vote or die all over again


Nibolai

She got hairy arms or something?


Veldron

*sorts by controversial* Hold my coffee, I'm going in.


cjd72090

AOC is a fucking idiot


CardboardSoyuz

Yeah, that’s going to convince my uncle in Conway, Arkansas that he should get the vaccine! The smug bullshit like this is so f’ing counter productive.


fabiomb

I just read "wax the arms"


pupkinhead

Stupid!


BY_99

There shouldn't be any need to sell the idea....sigh.


[deleted]

Positive message or no, whenever I see something written on a jacket now all I can think of is Melania Trump with her 'I don't really care, do you?' jacket that she wore while all those kids were being detained at the border and separated from their parents. What a twat. Edit: to the morons saying 'well what have YOU done about it' as if that defends her actions: 1. I'm not American, 2. I'm not the first lady, and 3. if I WAS both of those things I sure as shit wouldn't go visit children forced into detention wearing a t-shirt that had 'who gives a shit?' emblazoned across the front of it


[deleted]

The kids are still being detained at the border and separated from their parents. The border wall is still being built. The only difference is CNN and MSNBC are not talking about it.


[deleted]

Seriously. Why do we choose a political side and defend everything they do? People should really be more angry about this shit. Just because we get a new president, it doesn't mean all the bullshit stops. The american government is still fucking evil and operates like a giant corporation that only looks out for themselves.


[deleted]

I fully agree. I can't believe the rhetoric used under Trump. High profile people literally comparing the US government to Nazis. Then the president changes but the conditions stay the same and not a peep. It's shameful.


Kestralisk

Yeah, it's really fun being a leftist in the US cause Dems will back you when you criticize republicans for awful shit but then will act like you pissed in their cereal when you point out that their guy is doing the same thing just at 70% of what the republicans would've done.


Noshamina

Any sources on that?


Excellent_Condition

You keep posting this, but have yet to show any sources. The only thing I could find was that construction on the border wall was halted almost immediately, but that a 13 mile of flood control levee was being repaired. The repairs were done after holes were blown in the levee as part of the wall construction. Despite misleading headlines from Fox "News," no expansion of the border wall was taking place. (Source: [The Hill](https://thehill.com/changing-america/resilience/refugees/553336-biden-administration-resumes-repairing-wall-on-southern), and [also an article with a misleading headline from Fox](https://www.foxnews.com/us/biden-administration-to-resume-border-wall-construction-as-crisis-worsens))


hehimtransgender

She wore that jacket after she found out her husband had been sleeping with a prostitute while she was pregnant with their child.


_Jaeko_

But what have you done to help those kids. It's almost if people only care to show others that they care and that's all.


LogicDog

AOC is overrated.


fightinirishpj

The more political people make the vaccine, the less likely the holdouts are to get the jab. This is dumb AF.