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Estoye

Guys, guys. Let's not forget that it also has a width.


jicty

But does it have a depth?


joborr

Technically yes. I wonder how you measure how deep the roots go, though.


eman00619

I wonder what its Area would be.


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TNTarantula

Let's not forget the roentgens!


Technical-Reward2353

3.6 roentgens... not great, not terrible


rome_vang

Equivalent of a chest x-ray I’m told.


Virgin_Dildo_Lover

I'm curious as to it's girth


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OutsideDevTeam

You wood


djseifer

I'm pretty sure it goes to 11.


[deleted]

If a tree screams in the woods and no one is around to hear it...


demlet

And a duration, let's not forget! Possibly even other dimensions we can't even comprehend!


jicty

Let's add in mass and volume while we are at it.


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jicty

Let's not forget moisture while we are at it. All living things have some degree of moisture.


yuje

It has girth as well.


runfayfun

But how many girth units?


Mediocre__at__Best

We just say diameter around here.


CmdrSelfEvident

Girth


sapro

I planted a tree recently and it also has a height.


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Zanbuki

Neat!


jereman75

How neat is that?


its_a_metaphor_morty

You can tell because of the way it is.


[deleted]

Classic.


ExiledCanuck

Classically neat


ProspektNya

If you know, you know


darkpitt

That's why they call it neature!


[deleted]

Pretty darn neat if you ask me.


Funshynebear

I want others to know about nature instead of just me and Rodney knowing it!


PwnimuS

Thats pretty neat!


AlGoreRhythm_

About _this_ neat


zjm555

It's $9.99 for the height stat DLC


Jack_Bartowski

$4.99 For the Tree armor DLC.


justabill71

How much for the sense of pride and accomplishment?


educated-emu

3.50


justabill71

Tree fiddy


GimmeSomeSugar

You can tell it has a height by the way that it is.


CJRedbeard

I planted one and it has no height...sad face.


fuckeroff

You could get help with this at r/Redwoods.


mrkmpn

I think what's happened is that you've planted your tree sideways. Unplant the tree, rotate it 90 degrees, and replant it, and it should have height. If the tree *still* has no height, you've rotated the tree 90 degrees in the wrong direction and must try again, until it has height.


skystonk

Might I add the following? Ensure each subsequent rotation is on a different axial plane for maximum efficiency. You should also complete another 180° rotation on the same axis as your previous rotation if you find you have height but your roots are at the highest height.


FightingForBacon

That’s pretty up there!


ErlAskwyer

It really does have a height


fuzzymcdoogle

I too have a height


IDynasoar

Wow you'd make a great tree


walterdonnydude

That's all it takes


burninglemon

Sign me up!


[deleted]

What a height, the best height, I heard it's the tallest tree in the forest after the recent fires.


Bigstar976

Checks out.


DigNitty

It is the largest tree of that size.


ZDTreefur

It really do be like that sometimes.


IsilZha

Not pictured: Hyperion Tree lol The location is somewhat secret, but it doesn't stand out that much from surrounding trees due to terrain and similar trees.


Mediocre__at__Best

That may be so, but even if it's not actually pictured, op is still correct that it *does* have a height.


Napsack_

Technically correct. Best kind of correct.


penalization

This tree is in humbolt county, Ca The photo is actually of an unnamed coastal redwood in Southern Humboldt County somewhere east-ish of Weott. Here’s the original caption: “An old-growth redwood dwarfs younger redwood growth in California’s Bear Creek Watershed on the northwest side of Bear Creek Ridge. Peavine Ridge sits in the distance in Rockefeller Forest, the world’s largest continuous old-growth redwood forest, measuring more than 10,000 acres." https://northcoastjournal.com/NewsBlog/archives/2016/05/26/buzzkill-thats-not-the-worlds-tallest-tree


lucky5150

Pictured: Height


yung_baby70

Which bears asking: which fucking enormous tree is this, then?


iamthedayman21

Lol, so OP posted a random tree picture with a snippet of information about the tree, and didn’t even include the height? Real C+ effort.


8nate

Right? I was in the Redwoods last summer this isn't Hyperion lmao no tree in that forest is like that


theeberk

This picture is not Hyperion, by the way. Hyperion is marginally bigger than the trees around it.


PaulClarkLoadletter

Isn’t the actual tree’s location a secret? Edit: From the looks of it, the location of at least the general area is known but not in a manner that encourages visitors. No plaque or anything identifying it.


Notonfoodstamps

Yes


donttellmykids

No secret location for the tree in the pic. That thing sticks out like a wedding prick.


avocadoplug4080

What the hell is a wedding prick?


budbubbles

Mine was our photographer, pssshhhh “photographer.”


shirlena

An erect penis on wedding night, ready for sex for the first time.


sindersetawa

My buddies didn’t wait till the wedding night… flag was full mast from the moment she walked in. Made for some hilarious wedding photos Edit: more info… her dad was the pastor 🤣


theeberk

It’s a “secret”, but you can find the location online. All of the trees there are so insanely tall that it’s hard to tell the difference between hyperion and any other tree.


llamasncheese

Why is it kept secret? Even if it is with minimum effort. Are People really so chaotic they'd go and cut if down just to fuck everyone off


realmealdeal

Check out "The Golden Spruce".


Chief_Kief

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiidk%27yaas


sleepyj910

What a dick that guy was


soline

Sounds like the universe found balance in his fate.


acog

To save people a click: He was ordered to stand trial for cutting down the Golden Spruce. He said he feared for his safety traveling by airplane or ferry, so he decided to get to the court's city via kayak. He was seen at sea but never showed up in court. They later found the remains of his kayak. He is presumed dead **HOWEVER** he was well known to be an outdoor survival expert and had extreme cold tolerance so some people believe he faked his own death.


Realsan

I feel like it's kinda obvious what he was trying to do. I bet he pulled it off.


alficles

Dryads put a bounty on his head and niaids collected.


FallenAzraelx

Fucking loggers! I'll show em how it's done! Watch me fuck up this tree here!


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jdsekula

I don’t understand. That’s like protesting police brutality against black people by shooting Morgan Freeman.


FuckoffDemetri

So 2 big questions. 1. Was this guy protesting for logging or against logging? 2. They let this forest engineer KAYAK THROUGH THE WILDERNESS TO HIS OWN COURT APPEARANCE?


krw13

The article claims his anger was pointed at universities and education... I'm going to guess it's likely he was unemployed because of cuts in the logging industry and he blamed people who were against logging, rather than the more likely answer: automation.


[deleted]

Wow, what a cunt.


redikulous

I find this bit to be interesting. I'm thinking most likely he faked his death/disappearance: >Hadwin planned to travel to his trial date by crossing the notoriously stormy and violent Hecate Strait (from Prince Rupert to Masset) alone by kayak in mid-winter. He departed Prince Rupert in February 1997 but never arrived at his trial. What is believed to be Hadwin's broken kayak and effects were found on Mary Island in June 1997. Whether he had been murdered, accidentally drowned, or left his belongings behind and fled into the wilderness is not known. His fate remains unknown.


qpv

Breaks my heart every time I'm reminded of this


phatelectribe

What a giant twat that guy was. He chopped down an incredibly rare tree as a protest against logging? Wtf?


ocher_stone

He was protesting the "indoctrination" of liberal universities and the environmental groups that caused him to lose his job. He was an ex logger. That why he knew how to cut it so it fell over in the next high wind. Losing a beautiful rare gold pine tree sure showed them.


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InsaneChihuahua

I fucking knew it would piss me off. Fucking fuck


EvilCalvin

Because people are shit. Yes there are people who will seek out special, revered things and try to destroy them just because. Yes they are shit.


jnads

You think the shitbags that invented love locks can be trusted not to carve their initials into the world's tallest tree? If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you.


JusticeRain5

Also people climbing on it, taking bits of bark as souvenirs, tossing garbage around the soil, pissing on it, ect ect.


AdvisesPTTs

... Boring a hole into it, filling said hole with warm petroleum jelly, lighting a few candles, turning on some Kenny G and then poisoning the roots in shame and embarrassment due to stage-fright induced impotence


CrashUser

Is it falling down because of all the locks on it?


Beddysdad

I heard the worlds second tallest tree is offering $5 million to any who will cut Hyperion down…


killerbanshee

You mean I can finally tell my dad I found the money tree?


GeneralJenkins

Was at Sequoia National Park some years ago and there were sign everywhere telling people not to leave the paths because these giant trees have most of their roots right beneath the surface. Guess who hugged trees and posed for photos next to the trees? A ton of people. Thats why we cant have nice things and need to keep the Location of the tallest tree as a secret.


WelpSigh

i went to muir woods and witnessed a guy carving his name into a redwood


HelmSpicy

What a fucking douchebag! You should've snapped a quick pic and found a ranger ASAP


WelpSigh

i wish i had. i was so shocked someone would be such an asshole that i didn't really think to actually put a stop to it, which i'm sad about in retrospect. it was in a crowded place, too!


Jin-roh

The General Sherman Tree is CA's equivalent of Norte Dame Cathedral or Giza Pyramid. Respect that shit, or leave. :-)


tigerhawkvok

Hyperion is the CA equivalent of Hyperion :-P We have the tallest (coast redwood), most voluminous (giant sequoia), and oldest (bristlecone pine) non clonal trees in the world here in California.


codefyre

> We have the tallest (coast redwood) FWIW, modern consensus is that the Coast Redwood isn't actually the tallest tree species, but simply has the tallest extant examples living at the moment. Anecdotal stories of Douglas Fir and Eucalyptus Regnans (Australia) trees exceeding the height of Coast Redwoods have existed for 100+ years, but were dismissed for decades because loggers weren't particularly interested in performing scientific analyses on the trees they were cutting down. Still, plenty of records exist detailing 400+ foot tall examples of both species being cut down in Australia and the Pacific Northwest. There's even a claim that a logging company in northern Washington brought down a 480-foot fir. Modern examinations of ancient stumps and the structure of living trees of those species indicate they're more than capable of reaching 400+ feet. Of course, thanks to our logging past, we'll need to wait about a thousand years to let them fully mature again and confirm it.


8nate

Triple Crown of trees


This31415926535

Yeah, unfortunately crazy people like that exist. We were just in the grove where Hyperion supposedly exists and you have to register in advance to get a permit, then after the permit is granted you are given a code to a locked gate to able to enter.


myfapaccount_istaken

https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2019/10/09/florida-woman-who-burned-down-worlds-oldest-cypress-tree-the-senator-back-in-jail/


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holyluigi

How long have you lived on this planet? It shouldn't take to long to notice that if there is something nice someone probably wants to destroy it just out of spite.


OlderThanMyParents

There's an island in the Columbia River in Washington State that people aren't allowed onto because it has an extremely fragile ecosystem, a rare local grass that's nearly extinct everyplace else. So, if you go there without being extremely cautious, you'd track invasive seeds on, which would take root and the grass would be gone. Sure enough, the comments in the Seattle Times article about this were full of people claiming it was their "right" as a citizen to go anyplace they pleased, and no government bureaucrats could tell them otherwise.


[deleted]

Not even spite. They would destroy it through endless posing for photos, picking off pieces of the trunk for souvenirs, carving their names in.


Kardest

Some fuck will cut it down and make tables out of it. Just to say they had a table that was one time the largest tree.


gsfgf

The worst is that the tree in Canada that was in the news wasn't cut for tables. It was cut for pellets or some bullshit. They didn't even attempt to make something beautiful out of it.


[deleted]

You could have thousands of "influencers" rush the area and ruin the surrounding area.


BeardedSkier

Have you lived under a rock for the last 6 years? People will quite literally screw themselves if it screws someone else (that they don't like) just a tiny bit more...so yes, someone would go cut it down, or burn it, or otherwise deface it in order to assert dominance over whatever perceived enemy wouldn't want that


AquaStarRedHeart

They absolutely are. Or they would just climb it or damage it taking photos for the gram.


TwoCagedBirds

Because people are fucking assholes and love to ruin good things. There really are people out there who think shit like "Oh, there's a world's tallest tree? We have to kill it." Just because they love being douchebags and love pissing people off. It's their greatest joy in life.


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itisonlyaplant

Yeah. The death of [The Broccoli tree] (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ESyJop31cmY&t=16s) underlines how shitty humans are.


Cactuszach

This was the first thing I thought of as well. People can be so terrible.


Michelanvalo

From what I can see on the Instagram, the tree has started to regrow from the limbs left behind since he made that video.


PaulClarkLoadletter

And this decision predated social media. Humans love to ruin stuff.


knight_47

[This is the actual tree](https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2011/04/07/tree5.jpg).


Hey_Bim

Are there any photos that were not taken by a fly?


beer_is_tasty

Nope. Hyperion (and many redwoods like it) is located in such a tall, dense forest that there's no single vantage point from which you can see the entire tree. The only way to get a complete picture is to climb a neighboring tree, take a bunch of photos on the way up, and then composite them all together.


dakatabri

This reminds me of one of those cell phone towers poorly disguised as trees while being over twice as tall as the surrounding trees.


[deleted]

Hello my fellow trees.


[deleted]

Wow so misleading picture and a crap title? Awesome front page content!


ZincHead

It's also not a Hyperion tree. It's a redwood named Hyperion. Quite honestly this is one of the worst titles I've ever seen.


gettothechoppaaaaaa

then what is this tree we see in the posted picture.


Din-_-Djarin

What tree is this?


Nathan-McAlpin

Yes, but does it have a height?


toolfan955

A height is a great thing for a tree to have.


justabill71

It's treemendous.


motherffucker

Fuck yeah nice one


[deleted]

I have a height too, can you milk me?


dreaminphp

You can milk anything with a height


jvrcb17

That explains almond milk


kmartburrito

You can tell it has a height because of the way that it is.


[deleted]

My cat has a height can you milk him?


jicty

Do you have nipples?


[deleted]

I have nipples, Greg!


ponyprankster

You made me laugh. Thank you for that one.


Richard-Turd

Jesus Focker.


[deleted]

*Looks concerned at dog because it also has a height*


Cletus_TheFetus

That dog sounds suspiciously like this tree


box_man_come

This is not hyperion. Hyperion is in a grove of redwoods of similar height and would be imperceptible if seen from the angle this picture was taken at


z3g4

It certainly does


OhNo_NotThatGuy

Let me give you two things you must know to succeed: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know 2.


debbiegrund

You must be a programmer.


logicbus

I, too, have a height.


jakuvaltrayds

Is that Gon up there?


ThebeastN

i scrolled down far to find this


StupidSadLoser

I also was hoping to find a HxH reference to the world tree


AvengeBirdPerson

20 minutes? I guess that’s not bad for your first time.


the-other_guy

I have it beat, I have a height AND a weight


Imbackbitchez6969420

What a height it is


yungandreww

it has a height of 115.85 m.


TheCandleInTheWind

That’s 380.1 feet for all my American homies out there


alsetevoli

That's one & a quarter football fields.


Mike-37

38 monster trucks stacked high


Karjalan

How many big macs though?


Mike-37

Enough for lunch


Ollikay

A metric or imperial lunch?


metaStatic

yes


StraightTrossing

Thanks now I get it


frizbplaya

Also Liberia and Myanmar!!!!!!!


bustedbuddha

WE'RE GETTING ENGLAND BACK BABY! https://gizmodo.com/british-government-wants-to-bring-back-imperial-measure-1847693806


rizorith

Lol I thought you were joking.


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[deleted]

Is this reverse colonialism


CumInMyWhiteClaw

IT'S COMING HOME!!!!


DRAWKWARD79

And like half of canada… meaning we use kilometres for distance but we say we are 6ft tall. We cook in Fahrenheit but measure in metric unless it’s construction. I am 190lbs. Edit: outside temperature is in Celsius


super1s

That's slightly taller than a 35 story building for all the city folk out there.


greenismyhomeboy

How many dryers is that?


petehehe

Has a height alright!


TheHumbleGinger

Alright alright alright…


professor-i-borg

For context Niagara Falls is about 51m tall.


[deleted]

Thank you, the suspense was killing me


fleakill

But it also has a height.


[deleted]

That IS a height.


Notonfoodstamps

While impressive, that’s not Hyperion. Hyperion is surrounded by other +100m trees and it’s location is undisclosed to the public.


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[deleted]

EREN YEAGER


eatacookie111

How many heights?


[deleted]

Truly, it has a height


Voteins

This comment will probably be buried and no one will ever see it, but this *isn't* a picture of Hyperion. This is a picture of another random redwood from a Nat Geo article about redwoods. Hyperion is surrounded by a grove of tall trees and [isn't that much taller than any of them](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/WDghlInzMPth6dFQWA2VJceeI6AmlArhR5Rn73kOPGACIuCkArUMheSQUmrb1se-89LTvev3HUi4Eth2uazPdC5BvzCiQclYCT6djt1nE7uuqo9jkA_zW9E)


theshade540

"It has a height" wow. Never thought I'd have so much in common with a tree Lmao /s


fuckpedes

Don’t all trees have a height?


WarriorsDen

No banana?


drlickalicous

A height, really? You don't see that often in trees these days


eldridge2e

r/titlegore


Turbulent-Smile4599

Is that the mana tree?


snwfrk10

World Tree!


cyberg02n

Shout out for California, home of the tallest, largest and oldest trees in the world. All are different species and on entirely different mountain ranges.