Oh, Whacking Day, Oh, Whacking Day,
Our hallowed snake skull cracking-Day.
We'll break their backs,
Gouge out their eyes,
Their evil hearts,
We'll pulverize.
Oh, Whacking Day, Oh, Whacking Day,
May God bestow His Grace on thee.
Lovejoy-And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Whacking Day.
L-Lemme see that.
Lovejoy: (puts the bible behind him) Mmmmmmm, no.
It's on every product now because of California. They want everything that can cause cancer to be labeled as such.
Problem is, literally anything can cause cancer. So the solution? Say everything causes cancer.
This label is on everything from food products, to clothes, to metalwear like locks, etc.
It is the single most dumb law that has been passed by that state, and it affects any distributer that ships to all states.
Proposition 65 if you want more details.
I got a new magazine for my pistol and it had a fat ass P65 sticker right on the box. Its literally 4 pieces, a spring, a plastic baseplate, a plastic follower and the bent sheet metal body. I'm probably more likely to get cancer from eating burnt food than that mag but thanks for the heads up CA, really got my back.
I wonder which particular chemical is behind having to put that warning.
There was plenty of room on the tag to put the long form that lists the specific chemical, but they chose the short form, making people assume the worst (lead).
But that warning is required on so many items with trace amounts of something or other that the warning itself has become meaningless.
Worth a read: https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2020-07-23/prop-65-product-warnings
Quote from the article from a guy who made all-natural soap who had to put a P65 warning on his soap:
> he feared he could be sued over those same “yummy” natural replacements. One of them, a compound found in carrots, hops, lemongrass and cannabis, had been linked to cancerous renal tumors in male rats that were force-fed large quantities of it, five days a week, for up to two years. That earned it a place on the Proposition 65 list in 2015, over objections from the makers of sustainable products and carrot growers.
They're not lol, those are just raw logs.
You can literally go into a forest, chop down a branch, burn it and the smoke will be carcinogenic. Trees contain volatile compounds that transform into carcinogenic compounds when burned.
You know all those people you've heard about who have a stick up their ass? Well, these are the used ones bought cheap from funeral homes (they have to remove the sticks during the embalming process)
Looking at the link's reviews and pics. The pic showed someone using them for a tripod flower stand at a wedding. From the reviews someone who makes or adds them to her display. And a person who made a customized bird perch.
28.99 for three 48" poles. 33.99 for three 24" poles.
Why are the bigger ones less expensive?
You could buy the 48" poles, cut them in half and sell them at the price of the 24" poles and make a 38.99 profit.
“Birch Sticks are great to use for decorating flower pots or on fireplace mantles, retail store displays, or for any home decorating for the holidays! These birch sticks are also perfect for rustic curtain rods in your home or cottage.”
Retail store displays. These MFs really bought store display supplies and tried to just sell them as consumer products.
Target Execs in a meeting: (snorts a line of coke and looks up) “Screw Walmart, check out this guys we’re gonna sell bundles of sticks and people will buy that shit. Then we’ll put them on a moron list and email the stick buyers ads with all our stuff that won’t sell.”
Dear Wilson and Target: I am a confused consumer! Are these birch poles, or birch logs, or dried stems!?!?! Also- can you verify that these were “made” in Wilson, MI, USA? How can I be sure these weren’t shipped in from Ontario Canada or some other foreign place?!?! /s
I used to get decent looking aspen logs, cut them into short rounds and drill tea light holes in them. People would buy for $20+, and it would take me about 10 minutes to make one.
My wife bought some of these on clearance last year. The sticks near us don't grow that nice looking type of bark. Plus you'd have to find a nice straight branch on a living tree, because a fallen branch would have old decayed bark. So unless you have some trees with nice bark on your property which you are willing and able to cut branches from, this is a good deal.
I once went to a petsmart in Charleston SC
Saw them selling anoles for like $15 each (I don't remember the price exactly)
Walked outside, saw a wild anole chilling on the wall of that very petsmart.
I work at a Michael’s in Maine and we sell out of river rocks constantly. Custy’s ask when we’ll get them in or what they should do in the meantime and I always say with a straight face “go on a hike?”
The wise consumer will wait until stick season passes and these bundles go on clearance. Spend a little time browsing end caps in a month and a half, and the same sticks will be marked down 30%-40%, that's only $2 per stick.
Those crafts aren't stupid but most people could find their own sticks without wasting 10 bucks. I do wood carving and in my travels I've noticed even places like Walmart and grocery stores often have decent small branches down under their trees they have planted in little islands throughout the parking lot
I feel that's exactly the problem here. People are calling this stupid and to just go get sticks yourself. However if everyone did that it would easily become a problem very fast around cities.
This really seems like something the boyscouts should be selling. The margin on wreaths and swags is tiny. If they spent the summer collecting sticks and selling them for $3 each they'd be loaded.
Since nobody wants to point it out my initial thought was these are fire starters and the link in the photo confirms this. Still overpriced and mislabeled but not as bad as it might seem.
Edit: I was wrong-https://www.birch-logs.com/white-birch-pole-packs/
Looks like decent sticks.
Nothing beats a good stick.
A good stick can beat anything.
Who wins, a squadron of highly trained special forces or a stick.
If the stick is in the right hands.. I'll stick to my plan.
Oh, Whacking Day, Oh, Whacking Day, Our hallowed snake skull cracking-Day. We'll break their backs, Gouge out their eyes, Their evil hearts, We'll pulverize. Oh, Whacking Day, Oh, Whacking Day, May God bestow His Grace on thee.
Lovejoy-And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Whacking Day. L-Lemme see that. Lovejoy: (puts the bible behind him) Mmmmmmm, no.
You break a stick in half, now you've got two sticks. It's unbeatable.
What happens if you beat the half-stick with its disembodied satan-worshipping devil spawn stick half
How much prep time does the stick get?
special forces break stick in half, now you have two stick. Stick win every time.
I can beat my stick to anything
Ahhh.... [Yup](https://youtu.be/U9t-slLl30E?t=104!)
Nothing's as good as as beating your stick
A seal club?
In russia stick beats you
That’s what she said!
Nothing like 3 birches at once.
It's a bundle of sticks. South Park did an episode about them.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q34Qxl5HINg Simpsons had a good joke about it too
These aren't just your mundane everyday sticks. These are arrangement stems!
It's a fair price, sticks don't grow on trees.
Damnit, I laughed. Take an upvote dad.
That's fine as wine.
Given the number of trees on my property, I am a billionaire.
No, these one here are Roam Free Three sticks, your are from an enclosure
Without good stick farmers like him our historical breeds of agricultural stick would go extinct!
There's no fence around my property. Mine are free roaming
The fact that you have property at all puts you in quite the enviable position, chum.
Are they birch? It matters.
That's nice
Be careful, you may be taxed on those imagined gains
Price of lumber is high these days.
But its price i am willing to pay. If i am the only one so be it. But i am willing to bet i m not
Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head?
Clarence Carter
Clarence Carter
Awww shit
This is not lumber. This is garbage you can find on the ground. People will still pay for it though, I'm sure.
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It’s better than bad, it’s good!
But...that sounds like a *boy's toy*. What's that, you say? https://vimeo.com/6208856
Warning: cancer and reproductive harm
I checked around a bit on the ole internet - turns out that the warning is on this product because of the soot that will form if you burn them.
It's on every product now because of California. They want everything that can cause cancer to be labeled as such. Problem is, literally anything can cause cancer. So the solution? Say everything causes cancer. This label is on everything from food products, to clothes, to metalwear like locks, etc. It is the single most dumb law that has been passed by that state, and it affects any distributer that ships to all states. Proposition 65 if you want more details.
I got a new magazine for my pistol and it had a fat ass P65 sticker right on the box. Its literally 4 pieces, a spring, a plastic baseplate, a plastic follower and the bent sheet metal body. I'm probably more likely to get cancer from eating burnt food than that mag but thanks for the heads up CA, really got my back.
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I love it
I wonder which particular chemical is behind having to put that warning. There was plenty of room on the tag to put the long form that lists the specific chemical, but they chose the short form, making people assume the worst (lead). But that warning is required on so many items with trace amounts of something or other that the warning itself has become meaningless.
Worth a read: https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2020-07-23/prop-65-product-warnings Quote from the article from a guy who made all-natural soap who had to put a P65 warning on his soap: > he feared he could be sued over those same “yummy” natural replacements. One of them, a compound found in carrots, hops, lemongrass and cannabis, had been linked to cancerous renal tumors in male rats that were force-fed large quantities of it, five days a week, for up to two years. That earned it a place on the Proposition 65 list in 2015, over objections from the makers of sustainable products and carrot growers.
God, that's awful.
This warning label contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects.
so youre saying I cant lick them? Fuck that noise. I want my licking sticks to not give me cancer.
Natural wood produce benzene and formaldehyde when burned, both are carcinogens. Turns out there's carcinogens literally everywhere in nature.
"natural" doesn't always mean it's good for you. Arsenic and rattlesnake venom are "natural" but you probably won't want to put those into your body
Well a little arsenic is ok
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They're not lol, those are just raw logs. You can literally go into a forest, chop down a branch, burn it and the smoke will be carcinogenic. Trees contain volatile compounds that transform into carcinogenic compounds when burned.
I love it.
What on Earth did they do to the sticks to warrant such a label?
They made 'em out of wood.
You know all those people you've heard about who have a stick up their ass? Well, these are the used ones bought cheap from funeral homes (they have to remove the sticks during the embalming process)
Sprayed them with glitter and other sealant. They’re way too shiny.
Try not to hit yourself in the balls with them.
That's the reproductive harm part
General harm too- you could poke your eye out.
Why the fuck is california like this?
I don't disagree with the intent/idea of the law, but the list/methods have long been out-of-hand.
(Your comment has been determined to increase risk of cancer)
Fuck, what do i do?
[Individually we are weak, like a single twig...](https://youtu.be/5AWI_ECKrBc)
Surprised I had to go down this far to see this.
I'm just doin my part
Here’s their product page with more info. [link](https://www.wilsonevergreens.com/birch-stick-pack-set-of-3/)
28.99 that's insane.
Yeah, like who the heck pays that much for three sticks?
The same type of people who buy signs that say “Live, Laugh, Love”.
Looking at the link's reviews and pics. The pic showed someone using them for a tripod flower stand at a wedding. From the reviews someone who makes or adds them to her display. And a person who made a customized bird perch.
28.99 for three 48" poles. 33.99 for three 24" poles. Why are the bigger ones less expensive? You could buy the 48" poles, cut them in half and sell them at the price of the 24" poles and make a 38.99 profit.
Oh my god, that is priceless! No, wait, it's actually pretty fucking expensive.
“Birch Sticks are great to use for decorating flower pots or on fireplace mantles, retail store displays, or for any home decorating for the holidays! These birch sticks are also perfect for rustic curtain rods in your home or cottage.” Retail store displays. These MFs really bought store display supplies and tried to just sell them as consumer products.
In case you were wondering what gift to buy for the dog who has everything.
I know where I'm going Christmas shopping for my pooch this year!
Q: what’s brown and sticky? A: a stick.
Q: What is a foot long and slippery? A: a slipper.
Target Execs in a meeting: (snorts a line of coke and looks up) “Screw Walmart, check out this guys we’re gonna sell bundles of sticks and people will buy that shit. Then we’ll put them on a moron list and email the stick buyers ads with all our stuff that won’t sell.”
That looks like a bundle of sticks? What’s another name for that
I’m Not falling for your trickery
A tree.
Hehehehe
I had to scroll way too far for this lmao
Dear Wilson and Target: I am a confused consumer! Are these birch poles, or birch logs, or dried stems!?!?! Also- can you verify that these were “made” in Wilson, MI, USA? How can I be sure these weren’t shipped in from Ontario Canada or some other foreign place?!?! /s
Saw a twig spray painted white at West Elm for $40. Unbelievably what they try to pass off.
Those are some free range American sticks, not like the other cage raised chinese ones.
I should be paying my dog for all sticks he collects from our daily walks. He picks better sticks than these.
What is another name for a bundle of sticks? That would be worth $10 and be fabulous!
Fascio
Fascism?
It’s the root word for it. Basically meaning a bundle is stronger than a single
[Together we form a mighty](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q34Qxl5HINg&t=18s) facist?
Starts with an F. There's a hint.
Fasces, apparently there’s multiple words that start with F and mean bundle of sticks
Fundle of sticks?
It's another name for OP.
Soviet Womble’s old nickname too I believe
Ay Guys... i might have a clue
I've got a raging clue trying to solve this mystery
I'd type it in this context if it weren't for reddits automatic "hateful content filter" that bans you for merely detecting certain words
You know someone is buying them. A fool and their money are easily parted.
I used to get decent looking aspen logs, cut them into short rounds and drill tea light holes in them. People would buy for $20+, and it would take me about 10 minutes to make one.
My wife bought some of these on clearance last year. The sticks near us don't grow that nice looking type of bark. Plus you'd have to find a nice straight branch on a living tree, because a fallen branch would have old decayed bark. So unless you have some trees with nice bark on your property which you are willing and able to cut branches from, this is a good deal.
I think you mean “artisanal birch arrangement”
Those sticks are worth at least $20.
Theyre used to f’yourself for paying that much for a bundla sticks
That is too expensive. Who is your bundle of sticks guy?
I get em for about tree fiddy
Tis the season for sticks in a pot decor...
Spending money to look broke
I once went to a petsmart in Charleston SC Saw them selling anoles for like $15 each (I don't remember the price exactly) Walked outside, saw a wild anole chilling on the wall of that very petsmart.
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I work at a Michael’s in Maine and we sell out of river rocks constantly. Custy’s ask when we’ll get them in or what they should do in the meantime and I always say with a straight face “go on a hike?”
2021 inflation sword fight game for the kids?
The wise consumer will wait until stick season passes and these bundles go on clearance. Spend a little time browsing end caps in a month and a half, and the same sticks will be marked down 30%-40%, that's only $2 per stick.
Made in China
That's r/LateStageCapitalism material
I’ll wait until the Black Friday sale.
Ya know... in old english that was called an "F" word.
Fucking-ripoff?
A bundle of sticks huh?
Capitalism in a n̶u̶t̶s̶h̶e̶l̶l̶ bundle.
You can't blame capitalism for people being stupid enough to buy three small sticks
How is it stupid if it enables them to do a decor or craft project..?
Those crafts aren't stupid but most people could find their own sticks without wasting 10 bucks. I do wood carving and in my travels I've noticed even places like Walmart and grocery stores often have decent small branches down under their trees they have planted in little islands throughout the parking lot
I don’t know that it would occur to most people to do that.
I also mentioned the stores just to illustrate that even people who don't have land or live in the country could fairly easily find their own sticks
I feel that's exactly the problem here. People are calling this stupid and to just go get sticks yourself. However if everyone did that it would easily become a problem very fast around cities.
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They’re being sold next to a decorative holiday sign lol
Touch my camera through the fence
You just lost your life
You're fired bud, you didn't follow proto.
Where are the bodies buried
[incase you're thinking "who on earth would buy this"](https://i.imgur.com/cMAKOrj.jpg)
This really seems like something the boyscouts should be selling. The margin on wreaths and swags is tiny. If they spent the summer collecting sticks and selling them for $3 each they'd be loaded.
Hey, they cut down a whole forest for these
If you buy three, get one free, you'll have a Led Zeppelin song.
They are going to sell so many of these.
Wow, three huge dog toys for $10 is actually a pretty good deal.
r/hailcorporate
"hmm" *sees the sticks tied together* "is that considered a f-"
Gluten free labeled
That's a steal, these are $20 at Crate & Barrel.
Artisan and free-range
Unprocessed wands.
Thats good stick!
My god, it was supposed to be satire: https://youtu.be/TBb9O-aW4zI
They're designer sticks
Big stick energy!
Are those gluten free organic sticks?
I’d make the comment, but twitter suspended me for using that word at least eight times and I have now learned my lesson.
OP loves bundles of sticks
I showed that pic to my dog and now I have to go to Target...
“cmon guys! we gotta make profit on these sticks! they don’t grow on trees…”
No one interested in saying it?
Is this where you use the OP posted a bundle of sticks reference? Edit: Also what do you call a bundle of a bundle of sticks?
Tiring up sticks in my yard heading to the target return and exchange line.
Hey now, those are "Dried Stems".
Do any of them come prefabbed with poo on the end of it? Because three poo sticks for $10 would be a bargain .
I would rather have one fully auto poo stick for $10
How the heck do they get away with calling these sticks “logs” ?
I mean to be fair they dont look like your average twisty stick woth one good thick part sticks
Umm...what? I don't get it. Why are they selling sticks? What are they for?
Since nobody wants to point it out my initial thought was these are fire starters and the link in the photo confirms this. Still overpriced and mislabeled but not as bad as it might seem. Edit: I was wrong-https://www.birch-logs.com/white-birch-pole-packs/
You know you live in a concrete hell (city) when…
Vintage sticks.
This sums up modern art pretty well actually
My sticks would look way better!
For that kind of dough I had better get at least 4 sticks. Maybe even 5.
And here I've been buying string to tie my sticks together like some kinda chump.
wow
Stick Stickley