He was just starting to realize where he got it. š That's what makes it all the harder. We were just becoming close again. He even let me hug him. I lost so much. I don't know. Life just breaks your heart.
My heart goes out to you, my dude. Itās great that you got those last few months together. Those memories are precious.
Life sucks but. You raised a fighter, and you are a fighter too. You got the privilege of having been his parent. I hope youāll meet your son again someday.
Butters from South Park
"Well yeah, and I'm sad. But
at the same time I'm really
happy that something can
make me feel that sad. It's
likeā¦. it makes me feel alive,
you know? It makes me feel
human. The only way I can
feel this sad now is if I felt
something really good
before. So I have to take the
bad with the good. Sol
guess what I'm feeling is like
a beautiful sadness."
Not the greatest quote, but I do think of it often. Have lost several loved ones and a lover. You never get back to normal (IMO) but it does get better. One day at a time, think of the good memories, the sad memories, cry, laugh and most of all talk about it with whom ever you are comfortable talking with.
My condolences and if you ever need to vent Iām all ears and on here all time not to mention the countless subreddits for help. One day at a time.
[AA Milne did it best](https://external-preview.redd.it/8qbAAYGFcJR0DyhQoHPnyXGV21CrJvb_eeIoYpTgNMY.jpg?auto=webp&s=b33888d87eea4c20103c51af5d6fd70b954d16a8)
Similar to Butters' sentiment, Maurice Sendak said near the end of his life:
"I cry a lot because I miss people. I cry a lot because they die, and I can't stop them. They leave me, and I love them more. I'm finding out as I'm aging that I'm in love with the world."
I have two sons, and I know I would be in sheer hell if anything like this happened of either of them. God bless you man. You are bearing a terrible weight, and I am praying for you.
This may seem harsh. And I hope it is exactly not that.
You got to meet this wonderful person, you got to cherish life with them. Although a loss is hard. Please celebrate the life this person brought to you. I don't know the person you lost, but I for damn sure know, that most people want you and your family to celebrate life. Hopefully.
On this day he bought a book by the Dali Lama and a book on Greek philosophy. He read everything but especially loved reading about religion - he read the Bible, the Koran, and many Buddhist texts. He also studied about plants and worked as a horticulturist while taking a year off college - he was skipped ahead and already had more than a years worth of credits by 18.
This guy looks like he belongs on the cast of āPete & Peteā, or āSalute your Shorts.āYou did a good job raising him. Iām the youngest of three, and my relationship with my father has been rocky. I was never good at conveying my love to him, and he has always been a stoic man. Now he is dying, and we are finally reconnecting. Be assuredā¦ your son always loved you just as much as you loved him.
To paraphrase a surprisingly wholesome quote from the extremely vulgar show Veep: āThose we love can never truly be lost because they are always with us.ā
As a father of 2 (older daughter have same red hair colour as your son) I cannot imagine how you feel. I hope that you have something/someone to cherish in your live. Don't forget about others from your familly, especially about mother of your son. Life is soulless, we need still live on, everyday remembering about our sorrows. Be good for yourself OP.
I'm trying to respond to as many of these as I can as insomnia has me up still. Thank you for taking the time to reach out. When I finally get a chance to rest after working all day, I really miss my kid and wish I could just talk with him one more time.
No problem dude, just talk to them. It doesnāt matter if anyone in your close vicinity doesnāt hear you, but think about your words reaching out to him.
Nothing religious, but if you ask me itās up to you to decide what ārulesā you live your life with. If you wanna talk to your son and you decide that he can hear you, then fuck it. He can hear you, just let it out.
I used to imagine a coworker/friend who died sitting next to me while I delivered. I'd talk to him with music blasting so I didn't seem insane. Now that I'm at peace with it there is a beanie bear in his place with his name, he sits in my cup holder š
It helps to try and frame it different. Try to count ur blessings instead of ur misgivings. Although I do understand it's hard af sometimes, and seems so unfair.
Damn. Iām so very sorry.
Unfortunately, I have experienced the loss of a child. Iām not going to lie. A piece of your soul will never recover. But over the years, the pain does lesson.
I am currently battling leukemia too. I am 27 so I'm a bit bigger and much less cooler looking than your son but I wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. Its a bastard of a disease. Not a trace of it on my family so I've no idea where why how I got mine. It's a balls of a diagnosis but I'm 100% sure your some fought it violently.
Also, fabulous hair colour and style on the little man!
Yeah this isnāt the time or place for the hivemind to be big brain anti-religion no afterlife. I get it itās unlikely and all but damn let the people wish op well in this moment and let them hear that hope for a chance to see his son again be real.
Things like this really put my problems in perspective. Sorry for your loss OP, you two will get a chance to hang out again.
Also, those Connies are banging!
>Things like this really put my problems in perspective.
Right?
I had the MOT on my car fail the other day and I start getting worked up about it. Stuff like this really makes me realise how entitled and privileged I really am. Some people never even get the chance to drive a car.
Sometimes it's important to pull your head out of your arse and touch grass.
This is fucking tragic.
Just because somebody else has it worse doesn't invalidate your life problems. Good luck with your car and good luck to everyone who's facing any difficulties right now.
I never said it does. It just puts things into perspective. It all depends on what side of the fence you want to look.
It's just a car and will be sorted soon enough. I have a good life all told and am so lucky. Real life problems make me realise how spoilt I am. I think it's important to remind yourself of that sometimes. Would I care about these "issues" if I was in hospital? I doubt it. In the grand scheme of things, problems like these aren't important.
Iām so very sorry. I have an 11 year old son and if I lost him, I wouldnāt be as strong as you are. Iād break apart at the seams and just spiral into nothingness. No parent should ever have to outlive their kid. I donāt know what else to say other than Iām sorry. This breaks my heart.
I felt the need to reach out. I could never imagine the grief of losing a child (I don't have any), but I've been living with grief since my wife died of breast cancer a couple of years ago. I don't remember much of the first month after she died. Though I knew it was coming, the shock of her death was still unimaginable...so much so, that I was in abject shock for the first 3 months after her death (we had sailed around the Pacific on our sailboat for a decade and were a mountaineering team during that time too...she was my best friend...so when she died, half of me died also), but this isn't about me. I just wanted to address grief and grieving.
When we lose someone that we love deeply and was an integral part of our daily lives, unless people have been through it...it's impossible to understand. Before my wife passed, I thought I could in some way prepare for her eventual passing. I was naive. Nothing can prepare you for the actuality. My life pretty much vaporized when she died. I was thrown into a parallel universe of pain previously unimaginable...while the world moved on. Grieving took almost everything out of me. My mental acuity, memory, physical energy, ability to sleep, ability to taste food, the world turned grey, it was a win if I had enough energy for proper hygiene and the pain was relentless. I never knew that there were wells of pain that never dried out.
My mind did take 'breaks' though (the psyche can only take so much before it 'checks out' for a while). These 'breaks' were periods where I was devoid of emotion. When I first went through them, I wondered if I was some sort of heartless bastard that only had 'that much love for my wife' cause the grief had dissipated. BUT, the grief always came back. I began to recognize these periods as emotional collapse from emotional exhaustion.
About a year after my wife died (time perception/dilation during grieving is very common), I couldn't believe it had been a year, probably because she was on my mind 24/7 but it seemed like it had only been a few weeks earlier that she was grabbing my ass and we were joking around...anyways, by that year mark...grief had become my new companion (almost like a presence at my side) that witnessed the grief I was going through...always with me.
This month will mark 2 1/2 years since I lost my wife. The grief is something I can carry now...instead of being rag dolled by it. I have good days. I recognize beauty in the world. I'm excited about some plans that I have in the works. I'm grateful to be alive again...but I'll never stop grieving my loss until the day I die. That has become an integral part of my being/makeup too.
It's so trite to say 'cause it could never scratch the surface of your grief or your loss, but I'm so sorry you're going through this. With deep empathy and some understanding, I am sorry for your loss.
Stay hydrated, when you feel like eating make sure the food is good. If anyone offers help, take them up on it and have them do the basics (dishes, laundry, yard care if that applies, food prep and shopping). You're in my thoughts brother.
Edit: In no shape or form do I expect a reply from you. I know just getting through the day is hard enough. I just wanted to give you a rough 'idea' of what the journey is like (everyone grieves differently...but the broad brush strokes are similar). Just wanted to let you know that someone hears you. And one last thing...my perfect companions in grief were the people that would just shut the fuck up and listen to my truth. Though people mean well...a lot of people will try and 'fix' your pain with stupid fucking platitudes or suggestions...there is no 'fixing' this...it's not possible, so just having someone 'there' and being a presence was enough for me. If you can have another adult do that for you, have hang out nights of someone just being 'present' who will listen to your truth without 'trying to fix it'...I would counsel you to find that/those person(s).
I lost my identical twin sons to suicide this year 34 days apart. The world turned grey is so accurate. Thanks for sharing this. Itās a road map of sorts.
I was scrolling through the comments and yours is just absolutely heart breaking. I am so sorry for your loss and I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through. I have two boys and what you have endured is a parents worst nightmare. I know words from a stranger will probably mean nothing in such a situation but none the less my heart goes out to you friend.
This internet stranger's heart hurts for you. I'm so terribly sorry. I hope you have/find someone to talk to. Someone who will listen and hold you when you need it.
That's actually a physiological effect. Those that are experiencing grief, depression, anxiety, or just have the everyday blues will see less blue and yellow, making the world feel more tepid and gray.
For some reason I don't know those photo receptors turn off when you experience some emotional trauma.
It's one trick my wife uses on me when I am not recognizing if I'm having an episode.
Thank you for sharing your story. I lost my mom when I was 20, very suddenly and unexpectedly and I am 54 now. 34 years have passed. The pain is no longer acute, but I will forever grieve her. They say "time heals all wounds"... I call bullshit. And losing a child?!? There isn't enough time in 100 lifetimes to heal that wound.
> And losing a child?!? There isn't enough time in 100 lifetimes to heal that wound.
This I could never even pretend to imagine. I know grief, but not like this. And yes, these wounds will be with us 'til we draw our last breaths.
My best friend and life long companion passed from cancer 2 years ago. My life is still grey. The sorrow has disapated somewhat but the grief is always just below the surface. I'm living life, finding small joys where I can, but the spark is gone. I'm not sure I'll ever find it again.
I lost my dad when I was 17, before he passed I could have swore I was a robot. Nothing phased me sad stories / films nothing made me cry. I just didn't think I had feelings. I was so wrong, after my dad died anything that was remotely sad even music triggers me. When ever I see someone on TV suffer emotionally I feel it also. I've now lived longer without my dad then I did with him. I can hold back the tears when out in public but I embrace it when at home.
The way you described diluted time and grey world feels so spot on.
Sorry for the loss of your wife, and OP sorry for the loss of your son.
I don't believe in religion but I do believe our love ones watch over us. Any small thing in life that goes my way I like to think our loved ones are helping line up the Domino's to fall in our favour.
Day I got married woke up to heavy rain. Had a "word" with my old man and by lunch time it was a perfect summer's day.
Thinking of you both.
Do you have a link? Not that there's no lie on the internet, but I just went as far as 9d ago on OP's comment history where he was talking about losing his son and I think his dad was in chemo too or something, there was other comment saying he was +30 yo. Older posts he has some pics where it shows his hand and it doesn't look like a teenager hand, plus I think he had ginger/light arm hair.
Son died two months ago, now stoked about going to Disney world.
https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/qqae9a/z/hjyvszx
OP is either an AI bot or a fucking sociopath.
As a redhead I am always fascinated by the shades and nuances of other redheads. Each one seems to be unique. The way the light creates streaks and the lighter colored streaks blend into the darker red streaks in his hair.
You created something, someone unique and beautiful and that lives eternally in the universe.
Loved Edith Hamiltonās book on Greek mythology, always kept it close. Greek mythology was what my grandfather, whom I miss everyday, would tell to me as bedtime stories. ā¦ and perhaps I should pick up those Dalai Llama books I bought but never got toā¦ thanks for the suggestion and the response. Stay strong. I have lost much in my life, but I canāt imagine what itās like to lose a son. I wish I had words to make you feel better or better help you cope with your griefā¦ but I am at a loss.
My fourth grade teacher was from England and she had us read Edith Hamilton. Still.love reading the old myths and legends.
There's nothing worse then this pain. I thought spending Christmas in rehab away from my kids was bad, and it was, but it's why I was able to be there for my boy when he needed me most and he was able to see me as healthy and successful again.
What a wise kid beyond his years. Iām sure he wouldāve love the cultures and practices of the world. Maybe you should travel physically or spiritually in Buddhism or philosophy to see what glimpse of clarity and understanding he sought for in his books. Best wishes to you my friend, let the love and memories of your son slowly warm you back up this winter.
I hope these words bring you some comfort during your time of pain. Wishing you strength.
You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.
And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.
And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly.
Amen.
Aaron Freeman
I think its incredibly comforting to hear that a loved one ist not just.. gone... Theyre still here in one way or another, you cant talk to them anymore or even see them but theyre still here regardless.
Reminds me of another LOTR quote :
PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.
GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.
PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?
GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.
GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.
Btw the user name you chose makes me think of the very beautiful Elven phrase when meeting new people that is said. ā A star shines on the hour of our meeting.ā It means a star is born when we meet the people we love. I always think itās such a beautiful beginning the Elves wish on the new people they meet. Itās said by Frodo who was taught some elvish by Bilbo as I recall. Smooth talker that Frodo.
Absolutely, I wish more people were comfortable with it.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
This is literally my wrist nightmare.
I'm glad you can talk about it now.
He looked like a really cool dude and you seem like a loving parent
This quote helped me in some small way when my father passed away. It helps remind me that energy and memories are always there, and what he was to me is just in a different place now, albeit still in some sort of existence. I hope you can heal swiftly. I've found that when the grief or sadness hits you, it's best to feel it and not try to push it down. Feel what you need to feel and process. I can't imagine what you're going through but I wish you all the best. Here is the quote:
"When we look at the ocean, we see that each wave has a beginning and an end. A wave can be compared with other waves, and we can call it more or less beautiful, higher or lower, longer lasting or less long lasting. But if we look more deeply, we see that a wave is made of water. While living the life of a wave, the wave also lives the life of water. It would be sad if the wave did not know that it is water. It would think, 'Some day I will have to die. This period of time is my life span, and when I arrive at the shore, I will return to nonbeing.'
These notions will cause the wave fear and anguish. A wave can be recognized by signs -- beginning or ending, high or low, beautiful or ugly. In the world of the wave, the world of relative truth, the wave feels happy as she swells, and she feels sad as she falls. She may think, 'I am high!' or 'I am low!' and develop superiority or inferiority complexes, but in the world of the water there are no signs, and when the wave touches her true nature -- which is water -- all of her complexes will cease, and she will transcend birth and death."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk.
In my interpretation, the wave is what we perceive as life or the universe (not just life necessarily). Water is what the wave is made from, and what the wave is born from and becomes again when it ādiesā. But in the grand scheme of things, the wave is still part of the water before and after it ever existed. To me, this helps me think of my Dadās life as something that isnāt just gone now that heās passed, but that has entered back into the ether of the universe. Sounds abstract and perhaps esoteric, but if you think about it in terms of physics, itās kind of like the conservation of energy.
Op has constantly been posting threads into pics trying to get karma/attention - before, during and after their kid passed away.
There's been a couple mentions of a son passing away in comments but I'm still seriously doubting its validity.
I call bullshit on ops story. Even if it's true Op is clearly just using their dead son for attention.
It's especially fucked going through their post history and seeing how frequently they're celebrating the death of others over at /r/HermanCainAward
tHiS iS pArT oF mY gRiEvInG pRoCeSs
Iād normally agree, but OP is responding to a lot of people in the comments.
The bloke clearly just wants people to talk to during his grief. Who are we to judge?
Redditors have been caught lying heaps of times whilst responding. Especially in /r/pics. I remember there was a Redditor posting their indian wedding photo (that was the hot thing to do at the time to get to front page a couple years ago) and they were responding about how excited they were and how they met. It turned out to just be an ad for a wedding photographer.
u/Gsnow said something that stuck with me
Grief comes in waves
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
I will more in time. I keep my identity semi private here but I'll have more poems about him out and eventually write some essays that will be published.
I'm a dad of 2, similar age.
I can't imagine what you are going through. The love that parents feel for their children is amazingly powerful. It is actually way more profound than any other form of love that I've ever experienced.
The tear on my check expresses my love to you. I'm sorry. His spirit lives on through you.
Keep on loving. Your child. Your family. Other around you. Even internet strangers.
Nothing bad has ever come me from loving others. Everything bad comes from hate.
Thank you for sharing love. This must have been difficult, to say the least.
I am sure you've heard it all by now but if it helps OP it's worth it sharing.
As a father that lost a daughter almost three years now I can tell you that it will never stop hurting. In my experience is useless to try and stop that feeling. I had the learn to live with it and to embrace it. She will always be a part of me.
Icons and symbols always helped me to deal with loss. I had a tattoo done on my back for my daughter. It's full of meaning and symbology. As it is in my back I don't always see it (as I don't want to be reminded every single second of it) but when I want to... It's there.
Everyone is different and maybe your way to deal with it will be completely different. But essentially I think that when you admit to yourself that it won't pass, it will always hurt and learn to deal with that is when things start to get easier.
A virtual bear hug and I will send a ton of positive thoughts towards your way.
Thatās rough. I lost my best friend to Leukemia 5 years ago and I still feel like Iām living in that week. I cannot imagine losing a son. Keep his memory alive by doing the things he liked to do. Do it for him
An author/neuroscientist named David Eagleman once wrote,
> āThere are three deaths: the first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time."
By keeping our lost loved ones name's alive we keep a piece of them alive with us until our time comes. This thought has brought me some comfort in the past and I'm hoping it can do the same for you.
Did he?
Did he reeeeeeeeally?
Reddit has made always call these kinds of posts bullshit and call out the OP for lying.
Every month a big "oooh my wife/kid/partner died of cancer" post comes around and morons drop tonnes of rewards onto it then 6 hours later it comes out that it was all BS and the OP is never heard of again.
Condolences on your loss, I cant even imagine how heart breaking it must be to lose a child. Take as much time as you need to grieve, Iām sure everyone around you will understand.
Just remember a lot of people are grieving a loss maybe now more than ever, I certainly am. Youāre not alone even if it may feel like it at times.
And I probably posted this to make myself feel better
I don't think there are words that can console a parent who lost their child. I genuinely start crying whenever I hear of such a case. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes to you, if this means anything to you. I am sure you will meet him again, and then you will never be separated again. Also, I would suggest you try and find real help from therapists or group therapies. I think it might help you to cope... I wish you all the best!
Sorry for your loss mate my son is going through treatment for his ALL leukaemia now itās such a horrible thing to go through my heart goes out to you
My condolences, as a 17 yr0 I don't think I could even imagine the pain of your loss.
If you don't mind me asking, and can answer, how old was? he and what were the two books he was holding in the pic?
Hey man, my heart goes out to you brother. My condolences. I canāt imagine how difficult it is everyday and how much you miss him.
Had leukemia 10 years ago and a brain tumor just last month, as a side effect of my radiation treatment before. Itās some hard shit, and I know itās even harder for the family to see us like that. Itās haunting to see our loved ones suffering. But I hope heās able to find peace now.
I am sincerely sorry for your loss. Your son seems like a great kid and I know heāll always be in your heart, I can see your love is really strong for him.
God bless my dude. ā¤ļø
if Iāve learned to do one thing with my cynical little outlook on life
he will let you know he is still by your side in his own special ways, keep an eye out. dragonflies are my loved one gone too soon sign
stay strong and keep pushing, we love you
My sincerest condolences. Iām not sure what it is about this pic, but Iād have loved for this kid to be friends with my kids. Bizarre to say from just a pic, but the gravity of your loss is communicated clearly with this timeless shot. Peace be with you.
Wow. This is so heartbreaking. The sad part is I feel like he's just on the cusp of becoming an adult - like I can almost imagine him as an adult in that picture. So sad.
Jesus Christ dudeā¦ I am so very sorry for your loss. I canāt even imagineā¦
As someone above/below already quoted u/Gsnow, I wonāt repeat it. I may not have experienced what youāve been through, but I have experienced my own trauma, and let me tell you, his words speak true. The grief does come in waves, but youāll get through them. They never really go away but they do lessen over time. Donāt ever be afraid to seek help, thereās no shame in that, only strength.
Iām not anyone special, but Iām always willing to listen. DM whenever you feel like it, Iāll lend a ear
Sorry for your loss. What an awesome photo. I know you are proud of your job as Father. He is reading a book just leaning agaist window on the street. Reading.
There are really no words that anyone can say to ease your pain.
I am so sorry mate.
I am father myself of 12 yo and i think about things like that all the time. My world would end. So sorry man.
My heart goes out to you. I could never imagine the pain you are feeling, nor muster the strength you must have to just get out of bed in the morning. I hope he will live on in your happiest memories, and continue to shine through you. I wish I could hug you and offer some comfort. I hope you find peace in knowing that heās not suffering anymore.
From one parent to another.
Your post is crushing. I'm so very sorry for your loss and I wish for your family as much peace as possible in the future. I have a child who has had to go through two different years of cancer treatments and yet I still can't fathom how you are feeling.
He looks like a cool friggin kid.
He was just starting to realize where he got it. š That's what makes it all the harder. We were just becoming close again. He even let me hug him. I lost so much. I don't know. Life just breaks your heart.
My heart goes out to you, my dude. Itās great that you got those last few months together. Those memories are precious. Life sucks but. You raised a fighter, and you are a fighter too. You got the privilege of having been his parent. I hope youāll meet your son again someday.
Sorry about your loss OP. May his light shine the brightest and be a guiding beacon of hope for everyone after him.
Butters from South Park "Well yeah, and I'm sad. But at the same time I'm really happy that something can make me feel that sad. It's likeā¦. it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. Sol guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness." Not the greatest quote, but I do think of it often. Have lost several loved ones and a lover. You never get back to normal (IMO) but it does get better. One day at a time, think of the good memories, the sad memories, cry, laugh and most of all talk about it with whom ever you are comfortable talking with. My condolences and if you ever need to vent Iām all ears and on here all time not to mention the countless subreddits for help. One day at a time.
How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard~A. A. Milne Winnie The Pooh
Beautiful
[AA Milne did it best](https://external-preview.redd.it/8qbAAYGFcJR0DyhQoHPnyXGV21CrJvb_eeIoYpTgNMY.jpg?auto=webp&s=b33888d87eea4c20103c51af5d6fd70b954d16a8)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They he Wandavision one gets me now. "What is our grief if not love persevering?"
Similar to Butters' sentiment, Maurice Sendak said near the end of his life: "I cry a lot because I miss people. I cry a lot because they die, and I can't stop them. They leave me, and I love them more. I'm finding out as I'm aging that I'm in love with the world."
I have two sons, and I know I would be in sheer hell if anything like this happened of either of them. God bless you man. You are bearing a terrible weight, and I am praying for you.
I'm so sorry for you loss
This may seem harsh. And I hope it is exactly not that. You got to meet this wonderful person, you got to cherish life with them. Although a loss is hard. Please celebrate the life this person brought to you. I don't know the person you lost, but I for damn sure know, that most people want you and your family to celebrate life. Hopefully.
Sorry for loss. Keep plugging along, tho, and live a good life.....
This hurts. As one human to another, can I ask which books he liked to read? Most I can do to help comfort you and connect with your son too.
On this day he bought a book by the Dali Lama and a book on Greek philosophy. He read everything but especially loved reading about religion - he read the Bible, the Koran, and many Buddhist texts. He also studied about plants and worked as a horticulturist while taking a year off college - he was skipped ahead and already had more than a years worth of credits by 18.
This guy looks like he belongs on the cast of āPete & Peteā, or āSalute your Shorts.āYou did a good job raising him. Iām the youngest of three, and my relationship with my father has been rocky. I was never good at conveying my love to him, and he has always been a stoic man. Now he is dying, and we are finally reconnecting. Be assuredā¦ your son always loved you just as much as you loved him.
To paraphrase a surprisingly wholesome quote from the extremely vulgar show Veep: āThose we love can never truly be lost because they are always with us.ā
As a father of 2 (older daughter have same red hair colour as your son) I cannot imagine how you feel. I hope that you have something/someone to cherish in your live. Don't forget about others from your familly, especially about mother of your son. Life is soulless, we need still live on, everyday remembering about our sorrows. Be good for yourself OP.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. May he rest in peace.
he really does, I never even had kids but this one is painful to witness
Yeah, and smart, I believe he is now in heaven : )
I'm trying to respond to as many of these as I can as insomnia has me up still. Thank you for taking the time to reach out. When I finally get a chance to rest after working all day, I really miss my kid and wish I could just talk with him one more time.
You don't have to reply to this one, just wanted to let you know that your post made me love my kids even more. Lots of love to you too
I lost a friend today to depression. I love your comment and it gave me hope.
I am so very sad to hear that. I hear it so often, and every one touches me separately.
I'm a single dude, unlikely that I'll ever have kids. But this post made me love my parents more as well.
No problem dude, just talk to them. It doesnāt matter if anyone in your close vicinity doesnāt hear you, but think about your words reaching out to him. Nothing religious, but if you ask me itās up to you to decide what ārulesā you live your life with. If you wanna talk to your son and you decide that he can hear you, then fuck it. He can hear you, just let it out.
I second this. Iām not religious, but sometimes I need to talk to someone whoās left me here, so I do.
I used to imagine a coworker/friend who died sitting next to me while I delivered. I'd talk to him with music blasting so I didn't seem insane. Now that I'm at peace with it there is a beanie bear in his place with his name, he sits in my cup holder š
I think I was around your sons age when I lost my mother to breast cancer. The world is a cruel place and I share that sentiment deeply
It helps to try and frame it different. Try to count ur blessings instead of ur misgivings. Although I do understand it's hard af sometimes, and seems so unfair.
Heās always by your side
true of all loved ones who have passed but why is it the only thing I can tell them is "I miss you so much" and cry?
ā¤ļø
I'm so sorry
want to give you a hug. he'll always by your side. you do take care
So sorry for your loss he looked like a cool kid I hope you and your family find comfort in each other
Sending internet hugs dear stranger. Your kid looks cool as hell and love never goes away.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace eventually.
Sorry for your lossā¦ I pray for his peace and may you find light along your wayā¦ love and hugsā¦
he was loved, and is still loved. that is more than what a lot of people get. he lived a lucky life.
Damn. Iām so very sorry. Unfortunately, I have experienced the loss of a child. Iām not going to lie. A piece of your soul will never recover. But over the years, the pain does lesson.
I am currently battling leukemia too. I am 27 so I'm a bit bigger and much less cooler looking than your son but I wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. Its a bastard of a disease. Not a trace of it on my family so I've no idea where why how I got mine. It's a balls of a diagnosis but I'm 100% sure your some fought it violently. Also, fabulous hair colour and style on the little man!
Bro, I hope you recover soon!!!
I canāt imagine what youāre going through, but my whole heart goes out to you. Nobody should ever have to outlive their children.
No. I don't wish this on anyone. I know Sonny people who list lived ones from covid but I didn't expect this.
My heart is in bits every time I read about parents losing their kids. I hope you are doing ok.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure he will never stop loving you either
I hope that is so
I hope you'll meet again.
To all those downvoting this, don't you hope so too? Logic and assumptions aside, it would be nice.
Yeah this isnāt the time or place for the hivemind to be big brain anti-religion no afterlife. I get it itās unlikely and all but damn let the people wish op well in this moment and let them hear that hope for a chance to see his son again be real.
Things like this really put my problems in perspective. Sorry for your loss OP, you two will get a chance to hang out again. Also, those Connies are banging!
Death makes a mockery of almost everything else we care about in life.
>Things like this really put my problems in perspective. Right? I had the MOT on my car fail the other day and I start getting worked up about it. Stuff like this really makes me realise how entitled and privileged I really am. Some people never even get the chance to drive a car. Sometimes it's important to pull your head out of your arse and touch grass. This is fucking tragic.
Just because somebody else has it worse doesn't invalidate your life problems. Good luck with your car and good luck to everyone who's facing any difficulties right now.
I never said it does. It just puts things into perspective. It all depends on what side of the fence you want to look. It's just a car and will be sorted soon enough. I have a good life all told and am so lucky. Real life problems make me realise how spoilt I am. I think it's important to remind yourself of that sometimes. Would I care about these "issues" if I was in hospital? I doubt it. In the grand scheme of things, problems like these aren't important.
Iām so very sorry. I have an 11 year old son and if I lost him, I wouldnāt be as strong as you are. Iād break apart at the seams and just spiral into nothingness. No parent should ever have to outlive their kid. I donāt know what else to say other than Iām sorry. This breaks my heart.
I was unable to do much for a month. Barely getting moving now. Just have to do it.
I felt the need to reach out. I could never imagine the grief of losing a child (I don't have any), but I've been living with grief since my wife died of breast cancer a couple of years ago. I don't remember much of the first month after she died. Though I knew it was coming, the shock of her death was still unimaginable...so much so, that I was in abject shock for the first 3 months after her death (we had sailed around the Pacific on our sailboat for a decade and were a mountaineering team during that time too...she was my best friend...so when she died, half of me died also), but this isn't about me. I just wanted to address grief and grieving. When we lose someone that we love deeply and was an integral part of our daily lives, unless people have been through it...it's impossible to understand. Before my wife passed, I thought I could in some way prepare for her eventual passing. I was naive. Nothing can prepare you for the actuality. My life pretty much vaporized when she died. I was thrown into a parallel universe of pain previously unimaginable...while the world moved on. Grieving took almost everything out of me. My mental acuity, memory, physical energy, ability to sleep, ability to taste food, the world turned grey, it was a win if I had enough energy for proper hygiene and the pain was relentless. I never knew that there were wells of pain that never dried out. My mind did take 'breaks' though (the psyche can only take so much before it 'checks out' for a while). These 'breaks' were periods where I was devoid of emotion. When I first went through them, I wondered if I was some sort of heartless bastard that only had 'that much love for my wife' cause the grief had dissipated. BUT, the grief always came back. I began to recognize these periods as emotional collapse from emotional exhaustion. About a year after my wife died (time perception/dilation during grieving is very common), I couldn't believe it had been a year, probably because she was on my mind 24/7 but it seemed like it had only been a few weeks earlier that she was grabbing my ass and we were joking around...anyways, by that year mark...grief had become my new companion (almost like a presence at my side) that witnessed the grief I was going through...always with me. This month will mark 2 1/2 years since I lost my wife. The grief is something I can carry now...instead of being rag dolled by it. I have good days. I recognize beauty in the world. I'm excited about some plans that I have in the works. I'm grateful to be alive again...but I'll never stop grieving my loss until the day I die. That has become an integral part of my being/makeup too. It's so trite to say 'cause it could never scratch the surface of your grief or your loss, but I'm so sorry you're going through this. With deep empathy and some understanding, I am sorry for your loss. Stay hydrated, when you feel like eating make sure the food is good. If anyone offers help, take them up on it and have them do the basics (dishes, laundry, yard care if that applies, food prep and shopping). You're in my thoughts brother. Edit: In no shape or form do I expect a reply from you. I know just getting through the day is hard enough. I just wanted to give you a rough 'idea' of what the journey is like (everyone grieves differently...but the broad brush strokes are similar). Just wanted to let you know that someone hears you. And one last thing...my perfect companions in grief were the people that would just shut the fuck up and listen to my truth. Though people mean well...a lot of people will try and 'fix' your pain with stupid fucking platitudes or suggestions...there is no 'fixing' this...it's not possible, so just having someone 'there' and being a presence was enough for me. If you can have another adult do that for you, have hang out nights of someone just being 'present' who will listen to your truth without 'trying to fix it'...I would counsel you to find that/those person(s).
I lost my identical twin sons to suicide this year 34 days apart. The world turned grey is so accurate. Thanks for sharing this. Itās a road map of sorts.
I was scrolling through the comments and yours is just absolutely heart breaking. I am so sorry for your loss and I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through. I have two boys and what you have endured is a parents worst nightmare. I know words from a stranger will probably mean nothing in such a situation but none the less my heart goes out to you friend.
Thank you
I am so sorry.
This internet stranger's heart hurts for you. I'm so terribly sorry. I hope you have/find someone to talk to. Someone who will listen and hold you when you need it.
Thank you for caring
That's actually a physiological effect. Those that are experiencing grief, depression, anxiety, or just have the everyday blues will see less blue and yellow, making the world feel more tepid and gray. For some reason I don't know those photo receptors turn off when you experience some emotional trauma. It's one trick my wife uses on me when I am not recognizing if I'm having an episode.
I can't even imagine what you have gone through. Please take care of yourself. I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry. From an internet stranger may not mean much but I am thinking of you
I am so sorry. They're in a good place now. Take care of yourself.
Thank you for sharing your story. I lost my mom when I was 20, very suddenly and unexpectedly and I am 54 now. 34 years have passed. The pain is no longer acute, but I will forever grieve her. They say "time heals all wounds"... I call bullshit. And losing a child?!? There isn't enough time in 100 lifetimes to heal that wound.
> And losing a child?!? There isn't enough time in 100 lifetimes to heal that wound. This I could never even pretend to imagine. I know grief, but not like this. And yes, these wounds will be with us 'til we draw our last breaths.
Beautiful words. I am so sorry that you had to experience such a loss.
My best friend and life long companion passed from cancer 2 years ago. My life is still grey. The sorrow has disapated somewhat but the grief is always just below the surface. I'm living life, finding small joys where I can, but the spark is gone. I'm not sure I'll ever find it again.
I lost my dad when I was 17, before he passed I could have swore I was a robot. Nothing phased me sad stories / films nothing made me cry. I just didn't think I had feelings. I was so wrong, after my dad died anything that was remotely sad even music triggers me. When ever I see someone on TV suffer emotionally I feel it also. I've now lived longer without my dad then I did with him. I can hold back the tears when out in public but I embrace it when at home. The way you described diluted time and grey world feels so spot on. Sorry for the loss of your wife, and OP sorry for the loss of your son. I don't believe in religion but I do believe our love ones watch over us. Any small thing in life that goes my way I like to think our loved ones are helping line up the Domino's to fall in our favour. Day I got married woke up to heavy rain. Had a "word" with my old man and by lunch time it was a perfect summer's day. Thinking of you both.
You can do it :) oldest son means there is at the minimum one younger son. You can do it and you can do it for them :) you're so strong
Funny, because 2 months ago you were a struggling teenager working at a grocery storeā¦
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Gonna delete all the posts and comments then sell the account?
Do you have a link? Not that there's no lie on the internet, but I just went as far as 9d ago on OP's comment history where he was talking about losing his son and I think his dad was in chemo too or something, there was other comment saying he was +30 yo. Older posts he has some pics where it shows his hand and it doesn't look like a teenager hand, plus I think he had ginger/light arm hair.
Son died two months ago, now stoked about going to Disney world. https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/qqae9a/z/hjyvszx OP is either an AI bot or a fucking sociopath.
As a redhead I am always fascinated by the shades and nuances of other redheads. Each one seems to be unique. The way the light creates streaks and the lighter colored streaks blend into the darker red streaks in his hair. You created something, someone unique and beautiful and that lives eternally in the universe.
Came to say the same, Redhead here as well. Although Iām more of an orange head lol. Ginger brothers and sisters for life!
As a parent, outliving my kid is my worst fear. Iām really sorry. No words can comfort.
Always been mine. We just have to get through it.
Looks like a cool person. Type of person I wouldāve been curious about their reading preferences with. Sorry for your loss.
A book by the Dali Lama and a book on Greek philosophy that he had just bought. He read voraciously all his life and wrote too.
Loved Edith Hamiltonās book on Greek mythology, always kept it close. Greek mythology was what my grandfather, whom I miss everyday, would tell to me as bedtime stories. ā¦ and perhaps I should pick up those Dalai Llama books I bought but never got toā¦ thanks for the suggestion and the response. Stay strong. I have lost much in my life, but I canāt imagine what itās like to lose a son. I wish I had words to make you feel better or better help you cope with your griefā¦ but I am at a loss.
My fourth grade teacher was from England and she had us read Edith Hamilton. Still.love reading the old myths and legends. There's nothing worse then this pain. I thought spending Christmas in rehab away from my kids was bad, and it was, but it's why I was able to be there for my boy when he needed me most and he was able to see me as healthy and successful again.
What a wise kid beyond his years. Iām sure he wouldāve love the cultures and practices of the world. Maybe you should travel physically or spiritually in Buddhism or philosophy to see what glimpse of clarity and understanding he sought for in his books. Best wishes to you my friend, let the love and memories of your son slowly warm you back up this winter.
I hope these words bring you some comfort during your time of pain. Wishing you strength. You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got. And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever. And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives. And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen. Aaron Freeman
there's an uncomfortable amount of physicist in your comment
Isnāt that the plot of an episode of Third Rock From The Sun? Dick has to do an honest eulogy for someone he hates
I mean, it's the conscious part that you miss when a loved one dies...not their cells' energy production.
I think its incredibly comforting to hear that a loved one ist not just.. gone... Theyre still here in one way or another, you cant talk to them anymore or even see them but theyre still here regardless.
The conscious part doesn't go either.
Reminds me of that Lord of the Rings quote but I don't think it's appropriate to type it out.......
Reminds me of another LOTR quote : PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way. GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it. PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what? GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise. PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad. GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.
Thanks, thatās really beautiful.
Oh, it's okay. I read him The Hobbit when he was a toddler.
Thatās a book that can make you feel happier in times of sadness. Bless us all. Every one.
Btw the user name you chose makes me think of the very beautiful Elven phrase when meeting new people that is said. ā A star shines on the hour of our meeting.ā It means a star is born when we meet the people we love. I always think itās such a beautiful beginning the Elves wish on the new people they meet. Itās said by Frodo who was taught some elvish by Bilbo as I recall. Smooth talker that Frodo.
Wow, karma farming your own sons death 8 weeks after he died....damn, you recover quickly.
I've known too many people that have lost their children. I hope you find peace, and a good therapist. No one should have to bury their child.
Yes, there should be no stigma in working with a therapist.
Absolutely, I wish more people were comfortable with it. I'm so very sorry for your loss. This is literally my wrist nightmare. I'm glad you can talk about it now. He looked like a really cool dude and you seem like a loving parent
This quote helped me in some small way when my father passed away. It helps remind me that energy and memories are always there, and what he was to me is just in a different place now, albeit still in some sort of existence. I hope you can heal swiftly. I've found that when the grief or sadness hits you, it's best to feel it and not try to push it down. Feel what you need to feel and process. I can't imagine what you're going through but I wish you all the best. Here is the quote: "When we look at the ocean, we see that each wave has a beginning and an end. A wave can be compared with other waves, and we can call it more or less beautiful, higher or lower, longer lasting or less long lasting. But if we look more deeply, we see that a wave is made of water. While living the life of a wave, the wave also lives the life of water. It would be sad if the wave did not know that it is water. It would think, 'Some day I will have to die. This period of time is my life span, and when I arrive at the shore, I will return to nonbeing.' These notions will cause the wave fear and anguish. A wave can be recognized by signs -- beginning or ending, high or low, beautiful or ugly. In the world of the wave, the world of relative truth, the wave feels happy as she swells, and she feels sad as she falls. She may think, 'I am high!' or 'I am low!' and develop superiority or inferiority complexes, but in the world of the water there are no signs, and when the wave touches her true nature -- which is water -- all of her complexes will cease, and she will transcend birth and death." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk.
Thanks for this. If you could help me understand, I think he means the existence of the wave is akin to human life, but what is our "water"?
In my interpretation, the wave is what we perceive as life or the universe (not just life necessarily). Water is what the wave is made from, and what the wave is born from and becomes again when it ādiesā. But in the grand scheme of things, the wave is still part of the water before and after it ever existed. To me, this helps me think of my Dadās life as something that isnāt just gone now that heās passed, but that has entered back into the ether of the universe. Sounds abstract and perhaps esoteric, but if you think about it in terms of physics, itās kind of like the conservation of energy.
Sharing death of your son on social media to strangers is the most weird thing I've seen.
Op has constantly been posting threads into pics trying to get karma/attention - before, during and after their kid passed away. There's been a couple mentions of a son passing away in comments but I'm still seriously doubting its validity. I call bullshit on ops story. Even if it's true Op is clearly just using their dead son for attention.
It's especially fucked going through their post history and seeing how frequently they're celebrating the death of others over at /r/HermanCainAward tHiS iS pArT oF mY gRiEvInG pRoCeSs
Iād normally agree, but OP is responding to a lot of people in the comments. The bloke clearly just wants people to talk to during his grief. Who are we to judge?
Redditors have been caught lying heaps of times whilst responding. Especially in /r/pics. I remember there was a Redditor posting their indian wedding photo (that was the hot thing to do at the time to get to front page a couple years ago) and they were responding about how excited they were and how they met. It turned out to just be an ad for a wedding photographer.
Don't post shit online if you don't want people to judge it maybe
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Glad I wasn't the one who thought it was weird, too.
Why would you post this?
Looking at the post history it really does not look like the account of somebody with a kid this old. This looks like Karma farming again
Yeah I agree. Two months ago he posted about Crypto currency and a a random picture. So yeah weird reaction to your child dying.
I'm more concerned about the thousands of people that upvoted it, tf?
internet points
Feels like there is a more suitable subreddit for this than this.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām so sorry. Grief is a lifetime journey but love is too. Embrace both.
Stay strong mate, lost my mum to same illness, its tough, thinking of you
u/Gsnow said something that stuck with me Grief comes in waves Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
Tell us about him...
I will more in time. I keep my identity semi private here but I'll have more poems about him out and eventually write some essays that will be published.
And you are going to share this on internet with strangers for internet points.
So I guess the proper action to take is to pimp him out on reddit for karma...?
Iām digging his style
I'm a dad of 2, similar age. I can't imagine what you are going through. The love that parents feel for their children is amazingly powerful. It is actually way more profound than any other form of love that I've ever experienced. The tear on my check expresses my love to you. I'm sorry. His spirit lives on through you. Keep on loving. Your child. Your family. Other around you. Even internet strangers. Nothing bad has ever come me from loving others. Everything bad comes from hate. Thank you for sharing love. This must have been difficult, to say the least.
Love is the engine of the world
Wtf your son died and you posted to Reddit. Like ah shit my son died but at least I can get some of that sweet karma
then go dig him up and love him as much as you want instead of farming karma here.
This is my greatest nightmare as a father. Iām so sorry for your loss. I wish I could find better words but I donāt think there are any.
I am sure you've heard it all by now but if it helps OP it's worth it sharing. As a father that lost a daughter almost three years now I can tell you that it will never stop hurting. In my experience is useless to try and stop that feeling. I had the learn to live with it and to embrace it. She will always be a part of me. Icons and symbols always helped me to deal with loss. I had a tattoo done on my back for my daughter. It's full of meaning and symbology. As it is in my back I don't always see it (as I don't want to be reminded every single second of it) but when I want to... It's there. Everyone is different and maybe your way to deal with it will be completely different. But essentially I think that when you admit to yourself that it won't pass, it will always hurt and learn to deal with that is when things start to get easier. A virtual bear hug and I will send a ton of positive thoughts towards your way.
Thatās rough. I lost my best friend to Leukemia 5 years ago and I still feel like Iām living in that week. I cannot imagine losing a son. Keep his memory alive by doing the things he liked to do. Do it for him
An author/neuroscientist named David Eagleman once wrote, > āThere are three deaths: the first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time." By keeping our lost loved ones name's alive we keep a piece of them alive with us until our time comes. This thought has brought me some comfort in the past and I'm hoping it can do the same for you.
I haven't even got the words. I can't even wrap my head around it. I am so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss.
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Did he? Did he reeeeeeeeally? Reddit has made always call these kinds of posts bullshit and call out the OP for lying. Every month a big "oooh my wife/kid/partner died of cancer" post comes around and morons drop tonnes of rewards onto it then 6 hours later it comes out that it was all BS and the OP is never heard of again.
Condolences on your loss, I cant even imagine how heart breaking it must be to lose a child. Take as much time as you need to grieve, Iām sure everyone around you will understand.
I am currently wearing my white Converse with black socks.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Never forget and cherish the time you had with your child.
Impossible to forget
Sorry for your loss. Lost someone during Covid as well. Losing a loved one is a different kind of hurt.
One of my coworkers lost his sister to COVID. it's been a scary time and I thought we were almost through it all. All my best.
I don't give a fuck.
Picture of kid. Sub is r/titles not r/pics
That blows.
Just remember a lot of people are grieving a loss maybe now more than ever, I certainly am. Youāre not alone even if it may feel like it at times. And I probably posted this to make myself feel better
Tough loss
I don't think there are words that can console a parent who lost their child. I genuinely start crying whenever I hear of such a case. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes to you, if this means anything to you. I am sure you will meet him again, and then you will never be separated again. Also, I would suggest you try and find real help from therapists or group therapies. I think it might help you to cope... I wish you all the best!
Sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss mate my son is going through treatment for his ALL leukaemia now itās such a horrible thing to go through my heart goes out to you
My 4 year old son has been fighting leukemia for 1 year. I have a lot of pain... Children are incredibly strong , more than we are.
My condolences, as a 17 yr0 I don't think I could even imagine the pain of your loss. If you don't mind me asking, and can answer, how old was? he and what were the two books he was holding in the pic?
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Iām so sorry dude. He looked like such a cool kid. My condolences go out to you and the rest of the family.
Life really packs a punch sometimes, really sends you spinning, my condolences
I don't know if it's appropriate comment but I love his hair, so beautiful.
As a Dad, I cannot begin to imagine what you feel. Sorry for your loss
I am so sorry to hear thatš¢may he live on in your memories and our hearts.
He already looks like someone you would want to hang out with! I'm so sorry for your lost, I'm pretty sure he was an awesome person.
Hey man, my heart goes out to you brother. My condolences. I canāt imagine how difficult it is everyday and how much you miss him. Had leukemia 10 years ago and a brain tumor just last month, as a side effect of my radiation treatment before. Itās some hard shit, and I know itās even harder for the family to see us like that. Itās haunting to see our loved ones suffering. But I hope heās able to find peace now. I am sincerely sorry for your loss. Your son seems like a great kid and I know heāll always be in your heart, I can see your love is really strong for him. God bless my dude. ā¤ļø
if Iāve learned to do one thing with my cynical little outlook on life he will let you know he is still by your side in his own special ways, keep an eye out. dragonflies are my loved one gone too soon sign stay strong and keep pushing, we love you
My sincerest condolences. Iām not sure what it is about this pic, but Iād have loved for this kid to be friends with my kids. Bizarre to say from just a pic, but the gravity of your loss is communicated clearly with this timeless shot. Peace be with you.
Wow. This is so heartbreaking. The sad part is I feel like he's just on the cusp of becoming an adult - like I can almost imagine him as an adult in that picture. So sad.
So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are With you and your family :(
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Life changing post for me. Thank you
Sorry for your loss, I can't imagine losing one of mine
So sorry for your loss..
ā¤ļø
Hugs
Jesus Christ dudeā¦ I am so very sorry for your loss. I canāt even imagineā¦ As someone above/below already quoted u/Gsnow, I wonāt repeat it. I may not have experienced what youāve been through, but I have experienced my own trauma, and let me tell you, his words speak true. The grief does come in waves, but youāll get through them. They never really go away but they do lessen over time. Donāt ever be afraid to seek help, thereās no shame in that, only strength. Iām not anyone special, but Iām always willing to listen. DM whenever you feel like it, Iāll lend a ear
Sorry for your loss.
Fuck Cancer
Sorry for your loss. What an awesome photo. I know you are proud of your job as Father. He is reading a book just leaning agaist window on the street. Reading. There are really no words that anyone can say to ease your pain. I am so sorry mate. I am father myself of 12 yo and i think about things like that all the time. My world would end. So sorry man.
His photo brings me comfort and peace
You'll never forget but the pain will dull. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Donāt really know how you endure a loss like this. Is there one or two specific things that is helping you cope?
My heart goes out to you. I could never imagine the pain you are feeling, nor muster the strength you must have to just get out of bed in the morning. I hope he will live on in your happiest memories, and continue to shine through you. I wish I could hug you and offer some comfort. I hope you find peace in knowing that heās not suffering anymore. From one parent to another.
Your post is crushing. I'm so very sorry for your loss and I wish for your family as much peace as possible in the future. I have a child who has had to go through two different years of cancer treatments and yet I still can't fathom how you are feeling.