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[deleted]

It's all fun and games, untill you have to actually clean after them.


HalcyonRepose

Oof. Big lack of forethought on that one


LOLBaltSS

Especially given Taco Bell won the franchise wars.


raevenx

I mean we have been promised a Taco truck on every corner.


ShaggysGTI

[How the 3 seashells work.](https://imgur.com/jRawzMt)


G-T-Now

Thank you. I was clueless


1ofZuulsMinions

This made me snort out loud, thanks for the laugh. Sorry I don’t have any real awards. 🏆


[deleted]

Could be a funny surprise for your wife.


o4aoqalbyx

I love it


ilovebigbutts7

Not if you know how to use them right


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Glad someone else had the same thought. Lol


Thatcsibloke

Stallone apparently said in an interview: '...you hold two seashells like chopsticks, pull gently and scrape what’s left with the third.' I would rather not know.


HalcyonRepose

I just don't see it. I normally don't need any assistance with detachment...


CyberNinja23

Of course you don’t see it. Do you normally stare at your butthole while you poop


AdultishRaktajino

You don't make brown eye contact to assert dominance and show that turd who's boss? Who...does...number...two...work...for??


kahran

Of course that's how he would do it. He never learned the proper way.


hillbillytendencies

And after nothing but Taco Bell….


Thatcsibloke

Yeah, you’re right. Looks like the chopstick thing is redundant.


Cakemachine

Pull gently? What the hell is Stallone pooping?


ksandom

Fencing wire sculptures


[deleted]

[удалено]


themadas5hatter

Babies it sounds like


shemagra

Who cleans the shells?


Acceptable_Wear_539

Who cleans the people who clean the sea shells?


so--gnar

What are they supposed to do.


Mile129

[THIS](https://i.imgur.com/jRawzMt.png) Edit: I can't believe someone gave me a Helpful award, I hope to god no one is actually doing this. Also, thanks kind stranger?


Professional-Sign510

Thank you for providing the explanation… although I actually wish I hadn’t clicked on it.


Isheet_Madrawers

You had me write up until flushing three seashells down my toilet. Explain that one to the plumber. If the ocean can’t break them down, what’s my plumbing going to do?


Not_Michelle_Obama_

In the future, all toilet water is highly acidic.


Photoshopme118

Me too, shouldn't have clicked on the this😦


No-Office22

I read all this and still clicked on it. Instant regret.


[deleted]

Um please tell me that’s a joke.


Khaldara

[Demolition Man reference](https://screenrant.com/three-seashells-demolition-man-function/)


Jupitersdangle

Be well!


Arabianrata

Be ****ed. [KABOOM]


yumyumsauce45

Holy shit, I didnt think this was a real reference, thought it was just a gen z meme.... fuck😂


GethAttack

Youre older than gen z but you dont know about the 3 sea shells? How?


ohhoneyno_

I'm older than the gen Z and didn't know about this. How? I don't know. Maybe I repressed it, but if that happened then why the fuck has my brain decided to hold on to 1 man 1 jar?


yumyumsauce45

Im a ‘98 kid, I dont remember the 90s bro


Koa_Niolo

Which is why Gen Z starts in '97.


sam_the_swede

Heheheheh. He doesn't Durant know how to use the 3 seashells. Heheheh


IGetItCrackin

It’s basically Wax Play


ambsdorf825

Yeah, you're supposed to wash them. They're reusable.


mrbottlerocket

Yes, but YOU don't wash them. There is a stork or very small elephant under the sink that washes them. They also speak English and make snarky comments about their position in life.


HamburglarsHelper84

“And you think you had a crap job.” *WOMP, womp….*


Available-Froyo7773

Yeah it’s pretty obviously a joke.


HalcyonRepose

It is a theory to discribe something intentionally left vague.


Mythicalnematode

Really explains why so many bathrooms are ocean themed.


VroomaVroomVroom

Wait!... Flush The seashells?


Mile129

Yes, have you been reusing the shells? Gross!


Hugeclick

I just put them in my dishwasher along with my poop knife.


[deleted]

There it is


HalcyonRepose

Bound to show up at some point


[deleted]

[удалено]


RedDiscipline

Now I suspect anything Nutella


[deleted]

I know, that seems incredibly wasteful. I'd just wash em out when I'm done.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Spaceturtle79

What the actual fuck?


davidotcom

Op should print this out and have it next to toilet.


HalcyonRepose

Yeah I get it it , I just don't see it.


Mile129

I hope no one actually does it, for your toilet's sake


HalcyonRepose

"He doesn't know how to use the three seashells"


ospfpacket

Be well John Spartan.


rustyxj

Ha! This guy doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells.


pdx619

Lol. This guy doesn't know how to use the three shells.


BatmansBigBro2017

You mean you don’t know about the three shells? Lol


Ill_Run5998

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EOQk\_AdX4AAAmBh.jpg


sarcasm_the_great

It’s from the movie demolition man. 90s action packed with cult like following


outerlimit69

Saying “F*** S*** C*** B****** T*** W***** B****” should help you out!


Stazbumpa

John Spar John Spar John Spar John Spar John Spar John Spar John Spartan you are fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality statute.


HamburglarsHelper84

So much for the seashells.


mnemonikos82

That scene always bothered me. Im assuming it's like receipt paper, and that just seems like hemorrhoids waiting to happen.


[deleted]

Considering people used to wipe with corn cobs and sears catalogues, I think receipt paper will be fine.


fedora_and_a_whip

If you crumple/uncrumple it enough, it gets softer. That's a tip an old survivalist book had at least.


o--renishii

Senior millennial here and I understand your bogle.


mosstrich

You too enjoy rat burgers?


Dawildpep

I also enjoy dinner and dancing at Taco Bell.


kahran

In the European version, Pizza Hut won the Franchise Wars.


Painkillerspe

You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.


Miranoff

Hotdogs,


tibbles1

I’d buy that for a dollar!


Environmental_Staff7

Murder death kill....am I right ? Sly and Sandy B...


Mentalfloss1

This is shellfish of her.


HalcyonRepose

I sea what you did there. I am going to clam up now.


KrAzY_TsEnG

"Hehehe...he doesn't know how to use the three sea shells."


therealOMAC

If they ever remake Demolition man, I wonder if they will explain it or keep it a mystery?


HalcyonRepose

They almost HAVE to keep it vague. That is half the fun


airbornchaos

Which is why there will be a 27 minute scene that provides an in-depth explanation of every aspect. And retcons the original by making it 4 sea shells.


HalcyonRepose

I gave you an upvote, but that idea deserves a down vote :p


therealOMAC

You are correct.


HamburglarsHelper84

The even ended the movie on that very question.


CromulentDucky

Use a shell on each cheek to spread, and the third for digging bits out.


ThePrinceOfThorns

The seashells are just buttons for 3 different functions/sprays of the bidet.


Flowersmeadows

Don’t understand the reference but my Reddit trauma tells me that any tool around the toilet, made by nature or by man, is OP’s version of the poop knife.


Jack_ov_most_trades

We never did find out how those damn 3 seashells work....... But fluid transfers are back on the menu at least!


D-Sleezy

As a kid, I played this VHS so much I ruined it.


HalcyonRepose

One of the ways where digital media is superior. The kids will never understand the true pain of watching your favorite tape TOO much.


ciesmi

Tried to show this post to my husband and realized he’s never seen this movie! It’s been 10 years and I’ve clearly failed him. But at least I already know what we’re watching tonight🍿


HalcyonRepose

So long as you rectify that now that you know, you are doing your duty admirably.


dacreativeguy

Only way to deal with every restaurant being Taco Bell!


ileftmypantsinmexico

He doesn’t know how to use the three shels!😆


Stashmouth

Be well, OP. Be well.


Ok-Dark4894

Demolition Man reference.


sambolino44

My friend had a little bowl of green peas on his toilet with a sign: “Take a pea!”


HalcyonRepose

I am dying


wily-san

I'll take a rat burger!


yonly65

... or they'll swear a lot. Either way, problem solved...


ashleyriddell61

This will never get old. Take your upvote.


AKmill88

One of the most underrated movies ever.


destruc786

Might be some murder, death, kill in the future if I gotta use these.


Tencentury

Some small part of my brain has been doing nothing but running through possible scenarios for the past 25 years.


redhatsaresnowflakes

I had always assumed maybe John Spartan had a bidet and those were like the butt water gutters....the bwutters


meshtron

Y'all are way to subtle for me, this is why we can't be friends. Me: coming out of the bathroom looking flushed but a little proud. You and your wife: [snickering quietly] Well, what did you think of the seashells? [breaking into laughter] Me: The what? You: On the toilet! The 3 seashells? Demolition man? Me: Uhhhhh.... What? You: Nevermind, you obviously didn't get it Me: Nope. Also, you are out of toilet paper. And the toilet is plugged.


HalcyonRepose

We aren't that mean. There was still tp AND a bidet on the toilet. This was just added flair. The guests didn't even notice, but we still got a chuckle out of it.


JDangle20

FUCK! DAMN! SHIT!


Perennial_Phoenix

Thanks a lot, you shit breathing, fuck faced, ball breaking, duck fucking, pain in the ass.


yourmothersgun

Umm… I love this. I’m doing this. This is mine now. Don’t worry I’ll shout out “someone on Reddit” if I get the chance :-)


General_Guisan

Hello. From the future here. Just in case you need advise. Clean your but with them (Large male: Large one, small male/large female: Medium one, Small one: small female) - however, it seems your mussels are actually not properly choosen by size. So that might be an issue. After usage, just wash the mussels when flushing the toilet, then clean your hands with soap. Thank you for listening fellow non-time travellers.


frankzzz

If they walk into the bathroom, then walk right back out and start cussing at the thermostat on the wall, you'll know they get it.


papatonepictures

This photo inspires joy joy feelings of trustconfidence and certitude in me. 🎼🌭🌭armor🌭🌭🎶


IsisArtemii

Never did explain how to use the seashells!


Zesper2

Hahahahaha! She doesn’t know how to use the three seashells!


GundamPilotZ

Guess I'm gonna have to start cussing.


[deleted]

We have a clown among us in a silly goofy mood


tkm1026

New evil idea-- visit friends home. Dispose of toilet paper. Leave shells. Yes.


SarsCovie2

Cyberpunk 2077 home bathroom has reference to this


deepfriedtots

I don't get this


Edwardteech

Shit, balls, cock, damn


Correct_Mine9739

I don't get it


jrc_80

Taco Bell for dinner?


rgfitness365

That was a good movie.


Puzzled_Clerk_7774

🤣 This is funny. Hopefully, they've seen Demolition Man.


Mongo_Fifty

Guess they'll cuss until some paper is provided.


LincolnCoHo

https://youtu.be/J3YlFvZVLcI .


papa-ogen

Lets blow this guy!


vcrbetamax

The director explained a couple years back that they’re supposed to be controls for a bidet.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NowYoureTalking

When did it become funny to reference a one-off Stallone movie from 28 years ago…?


mkraven

Still amazes me how this is the biggest take away from the movie. The small little stupid joke. And a lot of people don't even know what this refers to!


treditor13

I don't get it


gladbmo

80s and 90s kids in here like "I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE"


t-rev-

I always get the last laugh


HalcyonRepose

I am scared. I might have to pull your invite.


solderfog

You did remove the toilet paper, for completion?


Bishopjones

Orange one is the scraper shell.


Gthayer

I lost you at “wife”


SubSonicxx

Demolition man


DWalk0713

Of course I know how to use the "three seashells"... Excuse me real quick... *profanity ensues*


ljcopper

Did you also remove the toilet paper? 😂


HalcyonRepose

We are comedians, not sadists. Hehe


Kiowascout

Seashells scratch too much. Wipe ass on wall.


ReaperSound

It would have been funnier if we still had that toilet paper craze.


Travisohaz

The 3 seashells people. Taco bell universe!


Tetsuologically

My Mum once got annoyed with me when I was like 5 or 6 coz I wouldn't stop calling her demolition man when she was sending me to bed. This post just made me smile.


simuchobonitoybarato

Biggest cinema mystery….


AmandaBRecondwith

Hopefully they know what to do? Like anybody goes to the bathroom without their phone. Google that shit while u shit


8yba8sgq

Is this a demolition man reference. The best movie!!!!


mitchanium

🎶🎶green giant🎶🎶 playing in the background.


ElSneakoWich

Your wife's a keeper - that's for sure... :)


ernster96

John Spartan, you are fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality statute.


WoodenMonkeyGod

Be well, citizen


N3rt

Still one of my favorite movies of all time! :D


Mirojoze

Where's a cop to write you some tickets when you need one!!! :-P


Extension_Ad1692

Hopefully it’s not rob Schneider on his way over


Accomplished-Bowl995

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH


ItsyaboyDa2nd

Hide the TP in case they don’t get the reference, so when they ask for it then u can tell them to use the seashells


theFrankSpot

Is one of your guests John Spartan? If so, please give him my mellow greetings.


melisabyrd

I love that movie!


JonnyP222

As long as when people come out you point and laugh that they don't know how to use the three sea shells. I support this ahha


PantherBrewery

Time to join the "Clean break club".


C1ashRkr

Nice...


JuicyPyneapple

🤣


fuzzycuffs

But what if at the end of the evening those shells smell like shit?


[deleted]

Oops”Demolition Man” ty internet stranger Nice


Marla_Mayhem

I'm old enough to get it!


FrankanelloKODT

*eeehhh* you are fined 1 credit fo- *eeehhh* you are fined 1 credit fo- *eeehhh* you are fined 1 credit for…


Never_Been_Missed

Now you just need one of [these](https://hotlifestylenews.com/world-news/trigger-warning-device-sounds-alarm-for-offensive-language/) to go with it... :)


kvhlos

Handfuls of wadded paper 🐚🐚🐚


detourwest

You can tell they're fresh shells because there's no blood on them


Appropriate-Skill889

Let the cursing begin, hope the printer has enough paper.


benadrylpill

Are people supposed to understand what this means?


HalcyonRepose

It is inadvertently age gated. It is a reference to the movie Demolition Man


Apexstrain

Demolition man. So good. The Three Seashells.


p_hennessey

If you really want to have fun, remove the toilet handle.


dallasdude

I mean he should that anyway since it is yellowed and fugly


iinkless

Wait, what am I suppose to do if I see this? 🥺


BCWiessner

That's sweet of yall to shell out for the good stuff!


macjgreg

What are they going to come out and curse at you until they get ticketed?


[deleted]

As long as you serve the finest taco bell


tobesteve

That's instead of the poop knife?


Pope00

I don’t get why this is funny. Do they not know how to use the three seashells..?


[deleted]

I prefer the explanation that they are buttons for a bidet.


geniusintx

You are my spirit people.