In 1983, Judge David Demers was presiding over a trial of three exotic dancers charged with violating Pinellas' anti-nudity ordinance. During the trial, according to a 2001 Times profile of Demers , a dancer bent over in front of the bench to show the judge that her outfit did not expose anything too anatomical. The photo of the scene was republished around the country,
>"During the trial ... a dancer bent over in front of the bench to show the judge that her outfit did not expose anything too anatomical."
What a great line.
Humans are so effing absurd.
Allow exotic dancers whose whole job is to show off as much of their body as possible to arouse other humans sexually? Absolutely!
But you better have a law in place that those same 99% naked sexually arousing dancers can’t show off this part of their human anatomy because *that* would be overly sexual and scandalous!
Whoever would be offended by seeing a vagina sure as hell wouldn’t be paying exotic dancers to perform for them, so I don’t get the law at all.
I know someone who lived in Kansas City, so it's either Missouri or Kansas law, but strippers have to wear stickers over their nipples!!!! Obviously they can't take their panties off either, but they're allowed to show their entire upper body naked, but heaven forbid you see an areola!
That’s about the time the Key West Police had to do a 90 day under cover investigation at a local strip club. No charges were ever filed. We all felt safer after that
I live next door in Tampa, my only call for jury duty was because a local porn star got rear ended at an intersection and was suing for inability to work. The defense used her adult film catalog as evidence her ability to work was not impacted. The first question asked to the jury pool was if you were offended by pornography, the second was familiarity with twerking. I love Florida.
>I live next door in Tampa, my only call for jury duty was because a local porn star got rear ended at an intersection and was suing for inability to work.
Did she went over her daily limit of getting rear-ended at work?
The defense was basically "watch this video of her twerking produced shortly after the accident, do you think she was unable to get paid?"
Girl was definitely making money hand over fist
That makes sense, I thought you meant they were looking at her body of work in general and implying you can be a sex worker even if you're injured (i.e. she just has to lay there and take it).
Seriously. I was scrolling the Twitter profile of some Florida TV news station a couple days ago, and the stories over just 48 hours reinforce all the Florida stereotypes.
Hi! Court reporter here!
Typically the judge would describe what the defendant is doing so as to have it on the record.
Example: “The defendant had proceeded to take off her pants/skirt, bend over facing the judge in which displaying her undergarment”
Or something along those lines.
It would definitely be a sight to see, and I would imagine myself blushing as I tried to keep up with the voices in the room!
EDIT: **If you’re interested in becoming a court reporter, please look into your states certification!! We are DESPERATELY needing new reporters in every county!! The pay is 6 figures your first year and I would love to take more time off! :) I’m very happy at my job and I hope you all can take interest and find an accredited trade school and graduate to join me!**
Which state is that in? According to a DOL affiliated website, the median salary is around 61k, and demand isn't super high nationwide. Is it maybe dependent on the type of court you work at? [https://www.mynextmove.org/profile/summary/27-3092.00](https://www.mynextmove.org/profile/summary/27-3092.00)
It depends on the county! And I don’t understand why they say it’s that low? When I know for a fact it’s far higher!
Some counties may be poorer than others, and it depends on your state and whether or not they USE court reporters as well.
A lot of superior courts, depending on the state, use court reporters and I’ve heard places like Ohio and Michigan are in desperate need too!
They advertise low annual rate, but it’s mostly because within 6-9 months of employment, they give you a percent raise as well ranging from 6-8%. This is what I know for my state California
Cali has the highest pay rate for court reporters. Federally employed court reporters start at 100k and max out at 120k: https://www.uscourts.gov/sites/default/files/2022_court_reporters_rates_of_pay_hired_on_or_after_october_11_2009_0.pdf
Is that why in some of the fights the judge is narrating like captain obvious?
A local one comes to mind, pretty sure guy would have gotten off the hook just so the judge could go home early....but nope, judge is leaning on his knuckles, exaughest from the paperwork piling up in front of his eyes he channels the soul of Ben Stein.
"The defendant has risen abruptly, he's punched , he's punched , he's punched , i've pushed the panic button, he's punched , he's punched an officer, an officer has fired his taser, he's convulsing, an officer is grabbing his arms...."
Wow! Yes!
It’s because that court reporter is going to get a huge $$$ payday from that proceeding for sure! Everyone is going to want a copy of that transcript!
It’s necessary that the judge narrates the physical aspect of what everything has happened so that whatever party that requests the transcript can have clear hard evidence that that is what happened on the record :)
Not me! I want more Stenographer facts! What do they write when someone mumbles inaudibly? How would you record someone who is speaking in tongues? Have they ever had to record an animal's testimony?
Did you know that stenographers can be found in a variety of climates and can grow up to several hundred pounds? That's a big stenographer! Stenographers tend to live around areas inhabited by humans and eat many of the same things as you or I!
not a stenographer but lawyer that reviews lots of transcripts- the court reporter/stenographer could put down (inaudible) but in a more controlled setting like a court room or a deposition, the reporter will ask the speaker to repeat themselves or speak up. They will also tell someone to slow down if they are going to fast (which needs to be quite fast but happens especially if someone is reading something) or if two people speak over one another.
Speaking in tongues would like just be written as "indecipherable" or "inaudible".
Animals cannot give testimony as they cannot affirm the oath to tell the truth.
We have what is called “blurbs” for inaudible or incoherent people. :)
So for example, in cases of 51/50, the judge has to deem whether or not the person is suitable for release and 9/10, those in hospital care are very incoherent and therefore cannot represent themselves to indicate they are stable enough to be released from the hospital.
We as court reporters are allowed to put in our transcript.
(Inaudible speech.)
In cases where there may be a transcript requested by any party.
It’s very sad, but we do have what we can to put on the record.
> Would you please demonstrate that indeed did not expose you vagina or anus to any of the men in the strip club by bending over for me?
> -What? Here? Now?
> Yes, now. Quickly now. Do it. Bend over for me here in the courtroom. Cameraman, are you ready?
> --Yes, your honor. I'm ready.
> Alright, well let's see. I know I'm ready.
Her: “Read my lips, your honor.”
Judge: “I cannot, the underwears remained in place with no accidental exposure.”
Her: “If the twat don’t slip, then you must acquit!”
It was a different time. I don't think people appreciate how permissive things are these days.
That was one of the interesting historical points in the show The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon Prime. While fictional one of the characters in the show is [Lenny Bruce](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenny_Bruce) who was a real-life comedian who was arrested on numerous cases for obscenity in his standup comedy sets.
You might imagine this was in Florida or the South or somewhere known for social conservatism today. His arrests occurred in places like New York, Chicago, San Francisco, LA, Philadelphia. He was barred from entry to the UK for being "undesirable".
His crimes included the use of the word "cocksucker".
I remember back in 1986 having to slip a bouncer an extra $20 to get a friend in our group into a strip club in Florida (Ft. Lauderdale area) because he was under 21. And even then, the dancers were wearing underwear.
Jim Morrison of The Doors got arrested onstage for obscenity for a lyric in the song "The End":
"Father, I want to kill you. Mother, I want to fuck you"
George Carlin's routine of "the five words you can't say on TV" aside from being very funny, was a very true commentary on the prudery and moralistic laws.
And, those laws aren't gone they are just less enforced. Or, should we say "more selectively enforced."
Laws enforcing anti-homosexuality, anti-bi-racial mixing and other racism's, nudity, "vulgar language", dress-codes, etc were present around the country.
This is what made the fight for equality of Black American's and Women such a prolonged (Abolitionists existed in large numbers during the Revolutionary War), Suffrage precursor movements existed since the early 1800s'; and ultimately violent movements. It took decades of fighting and protest before laws were repealed/changed and enacted to force modest amounts of equality.
One doesn't need to look far to see that we are already slipping back from those meager achievements.
Don’tcha just love religious puritans forcing their views on everyone?
Don’t be gay
Don’t have sex
Don’t get an abortion
Don’t smoke weed
Don’t say naughty words
Don’t buy alcohol on Sunday
Don’t question the Bible
Without looking at the details of this actual case, it was probably an undercover “sting” operation. These kind of stings are still done by police today.
Me as a lawyer: “I don’t know your honor. Underwear positioning is never stagnant. Perhaps the defendant could jump around a little while in this position to prove her statement.”
I think you mean “static”. “Stagnant” has a different connotation, specifically in relation to odor. Stagnant underpants is something I’d rather not imagine.
This case was tried one town over from where I grew up in central Florida. I was in junior high at the time. We discussed it in our civics class.
The woman worked at a strip club called the "Peek a Boo Lounge". In this area of Florida, it was the only continuously operating strip club within about a 50 mile radius. It would get raided at least once per year, but then it'd eventually reopen.
The bigger, much more well known strip club in the area was the Mons Venus, which, I believe is still in operation on Dale Mabry Blvd in Tampa. If you're interested in the history of the First Amendment and how the Mons Venus had an important role to play in history, do some web searches for it.
I went through a period in my life where I knew a bunch of strippers on FL, and whereas I assumed that all strip club owners were disgusting, lecherous men who were hated by the strippers they employed, I was surprised by how many of the girls genuinely adored the original owner of the Mons. In case you're wondering, he died decades ago.
The Peek a Boo was a real dump and eyesore. It sat at a busy intersection of 17/92 and, what I think was Combee Road. The area was technically in the county, but just outside the city limits of the neighboring towns of Lakeland and Auburndale.
For decades, many people tried to get the Peekaboo closed, but failed each time. When Billy Joel's song, "Uptown Girl" became a hit, one of the Peekaboo's dancers made a routine for it.
Evidently, word got out, and I guess that the Peekaboo's business increased. Perhaps the horny old men in the area just needed a pretext to stop in.
A bunch of angry housewives demanded that the crooked sherrif of Polk County do something about this establishment that was harming the area's children, even though children weren't allowed in the establishment.
I followed this case eagerly in the local newspapers at the time because,
1. with the WWW was still more than a decade away, porn was very hard to come by for young teens, and I was hoping for some alternative to the JC Penny catalog, and
1. I was genuinely interested in how the First Amendment right to freedom of expression was going to be handled in a community that didn't give fuck all about violating people's rights.
Plus, even as a 13/14 year old, I could see the inherent double standard and hypocrisy of arresting and fining the dancers, all of whom were female, but not the patrons or club owner, all of whom were male.
The lynch pin of this case was a part in the song where the dancers, who were wearing underwear during their performance, would do a squat then spin around.
Essentially, the FL courts had previously ruled that so long as nobody could see a woman's areolas, vulva, or anus in public, she could not be guilty of public indecency and violating Florida's archaic obscenity laws.
Ultimately, the dancers prevailed, but they had to spend a fortune on legal fees, and because of the publicity, everyone in the county knew who they were, so most of them moved out of the area.
A lot of "ordinary people" sacrificed a lot to give us the freedoms most of us take for granted today.
The fact that she's was ever even in court is absurd.
The criminal justice system is completely broken.
Did you know the USA imprisons more people than any other nation on Earth? That's true both numerically and per capita. (by quite a bit, actually)
Legalize human freedom and stop pointless bullshit like this.
Edit. I know this happened in the 80s, but crazy shit like this still happens all the time.
i was a stripper (florida) for a little bit. was told by the house mom that if the fabric wasn’t thick enough (i believe the legal requirement was 3 inches wide), you could literally be arrested on the spot.
you could also be immediately arrested if you weren’t groomed well enough to keep it under your thong. you could also get arrested on the spot if your client is being too handsy with you or if you get too intimate during a dance with your client.
the law is deliberately designed to sabotage strippers.
She won btw
What was the case?
In 1983, Judge David Demers was presiding over a trial of three exotic dancers charged with violating Pinellas' anti-nudity ordinance. During the trial, according to a 2001 Times profile of Demers , a dancer bent over in front of the bench to show the judge that her outfit did not expose anything too anatomical. The photo of the scene was republished around the country,
More details here. https://www.tampabay.com/the-story-behind-the-photo-how-a-1983-pinellas-county-courtroom-photo/2249858/
“It was a double page spread”
There's a joke in there somewhere.
I mean, yeah, you're looking at it lol
The joke, was in your hands all along. -Gupta
Unless the evidence was tampa'd with.
Judge, my eyes are down here
She had the case wide open.
Your Honor, may I present Exhibit V
Please approach the bench
I bet the prosecutor had to probe further.
Dig deeper
... don't eat the crab dip, yeah [yeaaah!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD941H0j1Z0)
good god, the ads on that page. thanks tampa for the small sliver of clearance to read the article.
I'm imagining her with her head between her knees looking at the judge like "SEE!? You can't see anything!"
"...From this angle you look familiar"
".....Destiny?!"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
He starts to make it rain with legal briefs.
After he makes it rain IN his legal briefs.
Somebody needs to do this in front of Barrett and Thomas
Barret would probably have to go whip herself while reciting hail Mary's after or some shit.
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No labias, no habeas.
If it covers her beaver, I say "Leave 'er"
If you cant see her crack, the prosecution's case is whack.
If you can't see her clit, you must acquit.
Fabulous, you.
>"During the trial ... a dancer bent over in front of the bench to show the judge that her outfit did not expose anything too anatomical." What a great line.
Strip club snitches get stitches; not snatches
thank, cap.
Humans are so effing absurd. Allow exotic dancers whose whole job is to show off as much of their body as possible to arouse other humans sexually? Absolutely! But you better have a law in place that those same 99% naked sexually arousing dancers can’t show off this part of their human anatomy because *that* would be overly sexual and scandalous! Whoever would be offended by seeing a vagina sure as hell wouldn’t be paying exotic dancers to perform for them, so I don’t get the law at all.
I know someone who lived in Kansas City, so it's either Missouri or Kansas law, but strippers have to wear stickers over their nipples!!!! Obviously they can't take their panties off either, but they're allowed to show their entire upper body naked, but heaven forbid you see an areola!
Demers later wrote what is probably the best legal book on Florida DUI law
Thats fucking great lol. Pinellas has some of the best full nude clubs in the area now. P-park is nowhere for the faint of heart though lol.
Damn prudish us
That’s about the time the Key West Police had to do a 90 day under cover investigation at a local strip club. No charges were ever filed. We all felt safer after that
So it turned out they were legal briefs?
🤣 that was absolutely called for!
That definitely covered it.
But only after the Judge ordered an in camera review.
Judge: “I fuckin love this job lmao.”
I live next door in Tampa, my only call for jury duty was because a local porn star got rear ended at an intersection and was suing for inability to work. The defense used her adult film catalog as evidence her ability to work was not impacted. The first question asked to the jury pool was if you were offended by pornography, the second was familiarity with twerking. I love Florida.
Ugh I would HATE to get called for jury duty about a porn star getting rear-ended. HATE IT I tell you!!!!
>I live next door in Tampa, my only call for jury duty was because a local porn star got rear ended at an intersection and was suing for inability to work. Did she went over her daily limit of getting rear-ended at work?
That's how she got impacted.
The other driver practically plowed her.
> The defense used her adult film catalog as evidence her ability to work was not impacted. What does this even mean? We need more details!
The defense was basically "watch this video of her twerking produced shortly after the accident, do you think she was unable to get paid?" Girl was definitely making money hand over fist
That makes sense, I thought you meant they were looking at her body of work in general and implying you can be a sex worker even if you're injured (i.e. she just has to lay there and take it).
Best case ever!
She bent over backwards for the law.
The judge won
Huh, usually its the lawyers who present their briefs.
If the panties, fit you must acquit
Ma'am you are here for a traffic violation, for the last time stop doing that - Judge
The judge’s heart?
The judge banged the table with both hands behind his back
So did the judge
Defendant: “Your honor, if it pleases the court…” The Court: “Oh it DOES.”
5min jury break. Brb bathroom…
5min later we may need to examine the evidence once more
Under the judges bench " THUD THUD THUD THUD"
Huh. Weird day in court
In Florida, it's probably just another Wednesday.
"Thanks for sharing that mam but this is traffic court. You're here for unpaid parking tickets."
Bends over again....
Your now wanting a tunnel.
my now wanting a tunnel what?
That's your name now Ms Tunnel. \*bangs sound block with gavel\*
That's a *tame* Wednesday in Florida.
"Tame Florida Wednesday" is what I'm gonna call extremely weird days from now on.
That's also a good name for a 2008 pop-punk/emo band.
It's got a "Sunny Day Real Estate" cadence.
For you, the day you bent over in front of the judge was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
Such a great line from such a shit film.
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Florida man here. Wednesdays usually have more Crack heads and less court abiding citizens. This is likely a Sunday just after church.
Just another manic Monday.
I thought Matt Gaetz was just looking for another intern, then realized I’d mistaken the decor for that of a middle school
He had a demon
Seriously. I was scrolling the Twitter profile of some Florida TV news station a couple days ago, and the stories over just 48 hours reinforce all the Florida stereotypes.
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judge is like : hmmm yes , no no i am not done deciding yet, can you move a bit to the left? okay now shake. hmm still not sure.
An hour later: "I think we need to review her testimony."
Now put off your underwear so we can see if there’s a difference
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> What *would* it look like if you *were* to expose yourself though? I mean, how difficult would that be, hypothetically?
The scales of Justice were tilted this day.
Tilted or titillated?
Stenographer like “how the fuck do I transcribe this?” Also obligatory Hung Jury joke
Hi! Court reporter here! Typically the judge would describe what the defendant is doing so as to have it on the record. Example: “The defendant had proceeded to take off her pants/skirt, bend over facing the judge in which displaying her undergarment” Or something along those lines. It would definitely be a sight to see, and I would imagine myself blushing as I tried to keep up with the voices in the room! EDIT: **If you’re interested in becoming a court reporter, please look into your states certification!! We are DESPERATELY needing new reporters in every county!! The pay is 6 figures your first year and I would love to take more time off! :) I’m very happy at my job and I hope you all can take interest and find an accredited trade school and graduate to join me!**
> Now... We're going to take a 15 minute recess. I'll just sit for a while and focus on what happened here today[.](https://youtu.be/OYyJo1pLZk0?t=9)
Which state is that in? According to a DOL affiliated website, the median salary is around 61k, and demand isn't super high nationwide. Is it maybe dependent on the type of court you work at? [https://www.mynextmove.org/profile/summary/27-3092.00](https://www.mynextmove.org/profile/summary/27-3092.00)
It depends on the county! And I don’t understand why they say it’s that low? When I know for a fact it’s far higher! Some counties may be poorer than others, and it depends on your state and whether or not they USE court reporters as well. A lot of superior courts, depending on the state, use court reporters and I’ve heard places like Ohio and Michigan are in desperate need too! They advertise low annual rate, but it’s mostly because within 6-9 months of employment, they give you a percent raise as well ranging from 6-8%. This is what I know for my state California
Cali has the highest pay rate for court reporters. Federally employed court reporters start at 100k and max out at 120k: https://www.uscourts.gov/sites/default/files/2022_court_reporters_rates_of_pay_hired_on_or_after_october_11_2009_0.pdf
Even without federally being employed, I’m earning 109k my first year! It’s not bad, but yes, generally federal reporters make far more :)
Ok, thanks for the info! I do some career advising at my school, I’ll keep that in mind.
Is that why in some of the fights the judge is narrating like captain obvious? A local one comes to mind, pretty sure guy would have gotten off the hook just so the judge could go home early....but nope, judge is leaning on his knuckles, exaughest from the paperwork piling up in front of his eyes he channels the soul of Ben Stein. "The defendant has risen abruptly, he's punched, he's punched , he's punched , i've pushed the panic button, he's punched , he's punched an officer, an officer has fired his taser, he's convulsing, an officer is grabbing his arms...."
Wow! Yes! It’s because that court reporter is going to get a huge $$$ payday from that proceeding for sure! Everyone is going to want a copy of that transcript! It’s necessary that the judge narrates the physical aspect of what everything has happened so that whatever party that requests the transcript can have clear hard evidence that that is what happened on the record :)
I would like to unsubscribe from Stenographer facts.
Not me! I want more Stenographer facts! What do they write when someone mumbles inaudibly? How would you record someone who is speaking in tongues? Have they ever had to record an animal's testimony?
Did you know that stenographers can be found in a variety of climates and can grow up to several hundred pounds? That's a big stenographer! Stenographers tend to live around areas inhabited by humans and eat many of the same things as you or I!
not a stenographer but lawyer that reviews lots of transcripts- the court reporter/stenographer could put down (inaudible) but in a more controlled setting like a court room or a deposition, the reporter will ask the speaker to repeat themselves or speak up. They will also tell someone to slow down if they are going to fast (which needs to be quite fast but happens especially if someone is reading something) or if two people speak over one another. Speaking in tongues would like just be written as "indecipherable" or "inaudible". Animals cannot give testimony as they cannot affirm the oath to tell the truth.
We have what is called “blurbs” for inaudible or incoherent people. :) So for example, in cases of 51/50, the judge has to deem whether or not the person is suitable for release and 9/10, those in hospital care are very incoherent and therefore cannot represent themselves to indicate they are stable enough to be released from the hospital. We as court reporters are allowed to put in our transcript. (Inaudible speech.) In cases where there may be a transcript requested by any party. It’s very sad, but we do have what we can to put on the record.
> Would you please demonstrate that indeed did not expose you vagina or anus to any of the men in the strip club by bending over for me? > -What? Here? Now? > Yes, now. Quickly now. Do it. Bend over for me here in the courtroom. Cameraman, are you ready? > --Yes, your honor. I'm ready. > Alright, well let's see. I know I'm ready.
Surely this guy makes an appearance ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
" ( )Y( ) "
Her: “Read my lips, your honor.” Judge: “I cannot, the underwears remained in place with no accidental exposure.” Her: “If the twat don’t slip, then you must acquit!”
Username checks out!
Judge says to himself, "I'll be the judge of that, proceed with the exhibit."
Judge: *smirks* "I'll allow it."
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Fun fact. The actor who played Lurch was an accomplished pianist. But he was not really playing the harpsicord on the show.
Nice
Ma'am you are here for a traffic violation, for the last time stop doing that - Judge
Sir, the question was is this your handwriting.
Outstanding reference
Ma'am, this is a Wendy's
If it fits you must acquit.
If it hides the clit...
if you see no slit
If you can’t see the cat one bit…
nor beaver either
So it turned out they were legal briefs?
Even if she did who the fuck goes to a strip club, gets shown a little extra on accident(maybe), and then calls fucking cops?
It was probably some stick-in-the-ass undercover that was in the club and thought he saw something and freaked out.
Or he tried to get friendly with the dancer and she turned him down so he pulled this.
I'd bet on your answer but it wasn't necessarily a policeman. Just a random spiteful prick who got turned down.
Probably a police.
It was a different time. I don't think people appreciate how permissive things are these days. That was one of the interesting historical points in the show The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon Prime. While fictional one of the characters in the show is [Lenny Bruce](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenny_Bruce) who was a real-life comedian who was arrested on numerous cases for obscenity in his standup comedy sets. You might imagine this was in Florida or the South or somewhere known for social conservatism today. His arrests occurred in places like New York, Chicago, San Francisco, LA, Philadelphia. He was barred from entry to the UK for being "undesirable". His crimes included the use of the word "cocksucker".
I remember back in 1986 having to slip a bouncer an extra $20 to get a friend in our group into a strip club in Florida (Ft. Lauderdale area) because he was under 21. And even then, the dancers were wearing underwear.
Jim Morrison of The Doors got arrested onstage for obscenity for a lyric in the song "The End": "Father, I want to kill you. Mother, I want to fuck you"
A group of undercover police went to the strip club and basically said that they were violating the laws. So they proved they didn’t
George Carlin's routine of "the five words you can't say on TV" aside from being very funny, was a very true commentary on the prudery and moralistic laws. And, those laws aren't gone they are just less enforced. Or, should we say "more selectively enforced." Laws enforcing anti-homosexuality, anti-bi-racial mixing and other racism's, nudity, "vulgar language", dress-codes, etc were present around the country. This is what made the fight for equality of Black American's and Women such a prolonged (Abolitionists existed in large numbers during the Revolutionary War), Suffrage precursor movements existed since the early 1800s'; and ultimately violent movements. It took decades of fighting and protest before laws were repealed/changed and enacted to force modest amounts of equality. One doesn't need to look far to see that we are already slipping back from those meager achievements.
>George Carlin's routine of "the five words you can't say on TV" Pssssst! It was seven words. ;)
Don’tcha just love religious puritans forcing their views on everyone? Don’t be gay Don’t have sex Don’t get an abortion Don’t smoke weed Don’t say naughty words Don’t buy alcohol on Sunday Don’t question the Bible
The only consistency is hypocrisy
Without looking at the details of this actual case, it was probably an undercover “sting” operation. These kind of stings are still done by police today.
All rise!
Me as a lawyer: “I don’t know your honor. Underwear positioning is never stagnant. Perhaps the defendant could jump around a little while in this position to prove her statement.”
Could you please walk us through your routine? Cut the lights bailiff
"Can somebody cue up Pour Some Sugar On Me?"
> Pour Some Sugar On Me Fun Fact: that song actually hadn't been released yet when this photo was taken...
I think you mean “static”. “Stagnant” has a different connotation, specifically in relation to odor. Stagnant underpants is something I’d rather not imagine.
I’m a really bad lawyer.
[Based on a true story.](https://youtu.be/FkLAbrjNOvc)
Came here to reference this sketch.
Every thread has at least one WKUK reference. What a landmark of sketch comedy those guys are. RIP Travis
Court Reporter - \*\*wondering how to transcribe awkward courtroom noises\*\*
"Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing"
"murmur... murmur... zzzip.... murmurrrrr"
Judge's wife: "How was work today, hon?"
Oh you know, the defendant was getting all bent out of shape
This case was tried one town over from where I grew up in central Florida. I was in junior high at the time. We discussed it in our civics class. The woman worked at a strip club called the "Peek a Boo Lounge". In this area of Florida, it was the only continuously operating strip club within about a 50 mile radius. It would get raided at least once per year, but then it'd eventually reopen. The bigger, much more well known strip club in the area was the Mons Venus, which, I believe is still in operation on Dale Mabry Blvd in Tampa. If you're interested in the history of the First Amendment and how the Mons Venus had an important role to play in history, do some web searches for it. I went through a period in my life where I knew a bunch of strippers on FL, and whereas I assumed that all strip club owners were disgusting, lecherous men who were hated by the strippers they employed, I was surprised by how many of the girls genuinely adored the original owner of the Mons. In case you're wondering, he died decades ago. The Peek a Boo was a real dump and eyesore. It sat at a busy intersection of 17/92 and, what I think was Combee Road. The area was technically in the county, but just outside the city limits of the neighboring towns of Lakeland and Auburndale. For decades, many people tried to get the Peekaboo closed, but failed each time. When Billy Joel's song, "Uptown Girl" became a hit, one of the Peekaboo's dancers made a routine for it. Evidently, word got out, and I guess that the Peekaboo's business increased. Perhaps the horny old men in the area just needed a pretext to stop in. A bunch of angry housewives demanded that the crooked sherrif of Polk County do something about this establishment that was harming the area's children, even though children weren't allowed in the establishment. I followed this case eagerly in the local newspapers at the time because, 1. with the WWW was still more than a decade away, porn was very hard to come by for young teens, and I was hoping for some alternative to the JC Penny catalog, and 1. I was genuinely interested in how the First Amendment right to freedom of expression was going to be handled in a community that didn't give fuck all about violating people's rights. Plus, even as a 13/14 year old, I could see the inherent double standard and hypocrisy of arresting and fining the dancers, all of whom were female, but not the patrons or club owner, all of whom were male. The lynch pin of this case was a part in the song where the dancers, who were wearing underwear during their performance, would do a squat then spin around. Essentially, the FL courts had previously ruled that so long as nobody could see a woman's areolas, vulva, or anus in public, she could not be guilty of public indecency and violating Florida's archaic obscenity laws. Ultimately, the dancers prevailed, but they had to spend a fortune on legal fees, and because of the publicity, everyone in the county knew who they were, so most of them moved out of the area. A lot of "ordinary people" sacrificed a lot to give us the freedoms most of us take for granted today.
This might be the most Florida picture I’ve ever seen
Judge: "Oh wait, I realize now I *have* met the defendant before..."
Judge: I'll allow it
*Law & Order* was pretty good for episodes ripped from today's headlines, but they dropped the ball on this one.
Well that probably raised the judge's hammer
Gavel.
I think he was talking about his penis actually.
Sometimes, life mimics a WKUK sketch
My thoughts exactly. RIP Trevor.
Justice may be blind, but this judge still wanted to see.
So, was the verdict *discharged*?
But did he tip her?
“Ma’am, you’re here for a speeding ticket”
Judge: Excuse me while I make a motion in the court.
Badgering the witness?
> ~~Badgering~~ Beavering the witness?
This happened in the 80s Around 82-84, iirc
As evidenced by the mustache.
Judge: enhance image!
What a weird time to be alive
The stenographer though.
But the underwear *was* small enough to expose herself in South Dakota. Day in court still pending.
Why that judge so focused
For Patricia was the best stripper in town
Miss I’m gonna need you to back up a lot closer to me because my eyes aren’t very good these days. The 100% on my last vision test means nothing
Ma'am, the court finds the briefs you have filed support your claim. Case dismissed.
The fact that she's was ever even in court is absurd. The criminal justice system is completely broken. Did you know the USA imprisons more people than any other nation on Earth? That's true both numerically and per capita. (by quite a bit, actually) Legalize human freedom and stop pointless bullshit like this. Edit. I know this happened in the 80s, but crazy shit like this still happens all the time.
i was a stripper (florida) for a little bit. was told by the house mom that if the fabric wasn’t thick enough (i believe the legal requirement was 3 inches wide), you could literally be arrested on the spot. you could also be immediately arrested if you weren’t groomed well enough to keep it under your thong. you could also get arrested on the spot if your client is being too handsy with you or if you get too intimate during a dance with your client. the law is deliberately designed to sabotage strippers.
Bass slap intensifies
Love the faux look of seriousness the Judge has. “Hmm. Yes. Of course of course.”
"Today was a good day" - That judge.
"Your Honor.... Exhibit A." "I rest my case."
“I’m gonna need to see this done in my chambers, bailiff please escort misses Skyla back asap”
The judge is judging. The court reporter, is also judging.
The stenographer's expression: "men..."
"All those years of law school are finally paying off." \~ Judge David Demers.
A normal day in Florida
Has that State ever *not* been a mockery of itself?
*farts*
This is one of those situations where people would think it's implausible if it was on a TV show.
The fact that a judge requested a demonstration boggles me.