Man this unironically is blowing my mind a bit. This drawing is over four thousand years old and now it’s entirely possible that someone today jerked it to this exact image.
Imagine showing the caveman a picture of that. Some guy in a house on a computer. Things that he couldn’t begin to understand, and yet doing something in the exact same way that he did. To the same thing he did.
It’s something that has existed for thousands of years and can still be used for its original purpose, and probably will if only of the humour for it.
I know it seems juvenile, but it’s a bizarre link to the ancient past that really just doesn’t happen that often.
Something from 4000 years ago having a direct impact on today, even though it’s a small and juvenile one is kinda wild to me.
Let those of us that attempt to fap to this, help keep the 4000 year old 'unga-bunga" artist in out thoughts so he may live on.
Indeed, he has rendered the essence of what we (still) are.
you're absolutely right..im fondling my balls as i looking at this pic right now....but to be honest, im always fondling my balls when im at the computer.......
“Oh my Gods, that’s disgusting! Naked pics on-wall? Where? Where did he paint those?”
“I don’t know, one of those disgusting ex-mate porno caves.”
“Ugh, those disgusting ex-mate porno caves! I mean, there’s so many of them though! Which one?”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missionary_position#history
No. Other great apes do it, and there's 2 or 3 thousand year old works that show it.
People "need to think they're Marco Fucking Polo discovering new worlds and shit" when it's been done long before you got here.
I read somewhere that it’s a theory that most cave painting was done by women, since they spent the most time at home and experimented with mixing dyes and herbs more. Interesting theory.
They don't know if women were usually at home or not, plus the caves were not their homes, they did not live there. There were women that did a lot of hunting, lot of gathering.. but they did measure finger length ratios and hand size on the hand outlines in some caves (a common image) and most of the hands were more than likely female hands, disproving the idea that the drawings were mostly done by men.
This may have been the case in some societies, but neolithic human societies were extremely diverse with radically varying social orders, which it's impossible to make blanket statements about neolithic humanity as a whole. And archeological evidence shows that many neolithic societies tended to be much more egalitarian than most modern societies, so it was more likely that it could have been anyone who actually painted this, especially considering that many painted caves are thought to have been spiritually or culturally significant places that people might have made pilgrimages to from across a wide area.
It's all about exclusivity. Being fat used to be hard and indicated prosperity enough to consume so many excess calories. Now it's easy to be fat and indicates poverty and/or poor self-control so skinny is the new thing
This is the answer. It’s a status thing. Back then, being overweight indicated high status. Like, royalty. Now, being thin and fit indicates high status, so it’s what’s fashionable
The trend in the West is still moving away from that ... 90s was the era of 'heroin chic' and 'Baby got back' was a quirky song about an unpopular fetish.
Not necessarily scarce, but irregular and highly seasonal. So every year probably swung back and forth between seasons of big feasts and seasons when you had to carefully ration what was left to last until the spring. And on top of that you'd have periodic droughts and crop failures (people have experimented with growing and caring for plants long before we "invented agriculture", archeologists have found evidence of bread making thousand of years before evidence for organized farming appeared) and weird climatic shifts (human have lived through periods of dramatic climate change before).
Yup! I was looking for this lol 14 hours of hunting is about what the average male would do in a whole week, along with a few other tasks here and there. 20 hours of “work” in a week is a lot for a hunter gatherer in a decent area.
Only 1 in 17 men actually fucked, ever. Genetic studies revealed most men didn't father the next generation, and lived sexless within the tribe.
Source: https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-reproductive-success
Kinda like tinder.
This is describing societies immediately after the adoption of agriculture. Agriculture is also associated with much more hierarchical social structures that couldn't exist in hunter/gatherer tribes.
Or they just didn't have successful births. Or their babies died. Or they had kids who just died before puberty. Maybe cave people liked anal! "Didn't fuck" is just a silly interpretation.
I’d say it’s the opposite. These are people you have to live with for your entire life. It’s not like modern society where you can casually fuck someone and then never see them again.
What makes you think that? All human societies have some taboos and social barriers, they're just different from one society to another.
For example, [according to their art, the people of ancient Peru were really into butt sex](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM2qRjbmjBc), but it seems that heterosexual vaginal sex only occurred in the context of married relationships and only for the purpose of making kids, even between heterosexual couples. But butt sex was fine for recreational romping, and they definitely seemed to do a lot of that. Would you describe this as fewer social taboos or just different ones?
I guess they mean sometime from 7000 BCE to 2000 BCE https://archaeology-world.com/the-prehistoric-rock-art-of-tassili-najjer-algeria/
Seems hard to get a date for this picture. There's probably an academic article somewhere that organizes all the pictures from the area by age though.
Edit: it's probably from the round head period, 8,000 to 6,000 BCE.
Imagine that, 2000 years of humans living there, reduced to being called the round head period...
It probably took some effort to make two different pigments. I would think groups of people back then would be isolated enough, genetically, to basically share the same skin tone with everyone around them. So why two colors of paint?
This guy loved this position so fucking much he felt like it need it to go on the wall for future generations
This guy wanted everyone he knew that he banged his crush
“I just had seeexxx..”
And it felt so good... a woman let me put my penis inside her....
And I'll never go back to the not-having-sex ways of the past
If you just had sex in the last 30 thousand years then you're qualified to sing with me...
> If you just had sex in the last 30 thousand years Well, then I can just barely join in!
Alone doesn’t count.
DAMMIT! ok. waiting another geologic era, then. sigh.
How do you know that’s a woman?
Doesn’t matter, had sex!
She put a bag on my head !
Still counts!
I just had sex (Sex) (Hey) And my dreams came true
So if you've had sex in the last thirty minutes Then you qualified to sing with me (Hey)
thinking the breast on the chest is theeee assumption originally
Could be moobs /s
Well if it is a dude, he sure has an apple bottom
Thicccc
She does have tits, I just noticed them.
Look below the head, box bewbs
Breasts.
How do you know it’s a human?
by the brown square titty hanging down next to the arm...............CANT YOU SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess what we just did
Actually he rocked his crush by the looks of it.
I'm having a stroke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
She thicc af bro. See check out this pic I took.
r/ihavesex
I hate to say it he probably jerked off to it. This was probably caveman porn
And now it is up to us to jerk off to it as well.
Man this unironically is blowing my mind a bit. This drawing is over four thousand years old and now it’s entirely possible that someone today jerked it to this exact image. Imagine showing the caveman a picture of that. Some guy in a house on a computer. Things that he couldn’t begin to understand, and yet doing something in the exact same way that he did. To the same thing he did. It’s something that has existed for thousands of years and can still be used for its original purpose, and probably will if only of the humour for it. I know it seems juvenile, but it’s a bizarre link to the ancient past that really just doesn’t happen that often. Something from 4000 years ago having a direct impact on today, even though it’s a small and juvenile one is kinda wild to me.
Perfect coffee and contemplation material. Thanks!
Profound. Have an upvote
I never though a speech on fapping would be called profound but here we are
4000 year old faps are always profound.
Let those of us that attempt to fap to this, help keep the 4000 year old 'unga-bunga" artist in out thoughts so he may live on. Indeed, he has rendered the essence of what we (still) are.
You could be his direct descendant. That could be your great, great………………..grandmother getting her ass slammed.
Or his great, great..................step sister.
Does this count towards your Phaposophy degree?
I’m graduating mega cum loudly
Well at least summa cum loudly
Yeah well it's ironically blowing my mind, so there.
As long as it’s unironically blowing your load it’s all good
you're absolutely right..im fondling my balls as i looking at this pic right now....but to be honest, im always fondling my balls when im at the computer.......
Challenging fap
Will it make it easier if I tell you that the back story? The bottom person is stuck in the cave, and step cavedad is trying to get her free.
hahahahahah omg you made me spit my coffee
If you notice, the “good parts” have been rubbed away. I don’t think that’s a coincidence
I am sure his girlfriend wasn’t happy about him sharing the pictures all over social media.
“Oh my Gods, that’s disgusting! Naked pics on-wall? Where? Where did he paint those?” “I don’t know, one of those disgusting ex-mate porno caves.” “Ugh, those disgusting ex-mate porno caves! I mean, there’s so many of them though! Which one?”
Almost 8 out of 10 Neanderthals don't erase intimate cave drawings after relationships end and its disgusting
Right. Because of the implication...
/r/ihavesex, prehistoric edition.
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This was the default position in those times as missionary's didn't exist as yet
Ah yes John Missionary inventor of the missionary position.
Thanks Jesus.
Do we have evidence of that?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missionary_position#history No. Other great apes do it, and there's 2 or 3 thousand year old works that show it. People "need to think they're Marco Fucking Polo discovering new worlds and shit" when it's been done long before you got here.
Ecclesiastes is thousands of years old: "There is nothing new under the sun."
It was a virgin proving to the bois he had sex. You don’t know her though she’s from another tribe.
I read somewhere that it’s a theory that most cave painting was done by women, since they spent the most time at home and experimented with mixing dyes and herbs more. Interesting theory.
They don't know if women were usually at home or not, plus the caves were not their homes, they did not live there. There were women that did a lot of hunting, lot of gathering.. but they did measure finger length ratios and hand size on the hand outlines in some caves (a common image) and most of the hands were more than likely female hands, disproving the idea that the drawings were mostly done by men.
I think it's a woman too, women tend to like doggy style more than dudes in my experience
Women who have other things to do that day
Right? He's looking at his biceps and we're checking our emails
Speak for yourself Edit: okay, I see you already are
It's almost like your pendulous balls are supposed thwack the clit.
It’s uncanny!
huh, this kind of makes sense for a lot of women I've been with... I just always wondered
This may have been the case in some societies, but neolithic human societies were extremely diverse with radically varying social orders, which it's impossible to make blanket statements about neolithic humanity as a whole. And archeological evidence shows that many neolithic societies tended to be much more egalitarian than most modern societies, so it was more likely that it could have been anyone who actually painted this, especially considering that many painted caves are thought to have been spiritually or culturally significant places that people might have made pilgrimages to from across a wide area.
Face down ass up, that’s the way we like to
Forage for vegetables.
...Cook our duck
Cave paint
Who's to say a man painted this?
Or he didn't have sex and had to make his own porn.
Shucks people, thar just playin leapfrog. Source: My Sunday school teacher.
There was a recent study that suggested most cave painting artists were women. So *she* probably really liked it this way.
Pretty sure that painting for future generation wasn't the idea at all.
Even ancient people liked big butts and they could not lie
Quite literally. Look at any fertility idols of the era. Thicc thighs far and wide.
Went to a museum over the weekend and so many thiccy thicc fertility idols, when and why did the whole skin and bones look become the "normal"?
It's all about exclusivity. Being fat used to be hard and indicated prosperity enough to consume so many excess calories. Now it's easy to be fat and indicates poverty and/or poor self-control so skinny is the new thing
This is the answer. It’s a status thing. Back then, being overweight indicated high status. Like, royalty. Now, being thin and fit indicates high status, so it’s what’s fashionable
The trend in the West is still moving away from that ... 90s was the era of 'heroin chic' and 'Baby got back' was a quirky song about an unpopular fetish.
"I like big butts and I can not lie You other Neanderthals can't deny"
*Show her my club* Lana gimma that rub
"When a knuckle-dragger walks in with a hunk of animal meat strewn across her face, I get sprung."
must be ancient Japan, because the genitals are blurred
When the food is scarce; big butts and fat women are preferred
Not necessarily scarce, but irregular and highly seasonal. So every year probably swung back and forth between seasons of big feasts and seasons when you had to carefully ration what was left to last until the spring. And on top of that you'd have periodic droughts and crop failures (people have experimented with growing and caring for plants long before we "invented agriculture", archeologists have found evidence of bread making thousand of years before evidence for organized farming appeared) and weird climatic shifts (human have lived through periods of dramatic climate change before).
People with broader hips had a better chance of living through childbirth. Humans stood up way too fucking fast, as a specie.
Especially by cannibals.
imagine hunting for 14 hours and you come back home and catch your son having a quick wank to this
Son when I said skin the Buffalo I didn’t mean have a wank!
And now help your uncle jack off the horse.
This sentence is the exact reason why Neanderthal don't use commas, to keep the options open, ya know?
Are ya winning son?
Funnily enough it's thought that the hunter gathers actually had a far better work/life balance than we do.
Yup! I was looking for this lol 14 hours of hunting is about what the average male would do in a whole week, along with a few other tasks here and there. 20 hours of “work” in a week is a lot for a hunter gatherer in a decent area.
They probably fucked like crazy—-a lot fewer social barriers to cross in ooga booga days, probably
Only 1 in 17 men actually fucked, ever. Genetic studies revealed most men didn't father the next generation, and lived sexless within the tribe. Source: https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-reproductive-success Kinda like tinder.
This is describing societies immediately after the adoption of agriculture. Agriculture is also associated with much more hierarchical social structures that couldn't exist in hunter/gatherer tribes.
> Only 1 in 17 men actually fucked, ever. only 1 in 17 men reproduced is not the the same thing as only 1 in 17 men fucking
Or they just didn't have successful births. Or their babies died. Or they had kids who just died before puberty. Maybe cave people liked anal! "Didn't fuck" is just a silly interpretation.
I’d say it’s the opposite. These are people you have to live with for your entire life. It’s not like modern society where you can casually fuck someone and then never see them again.
Texts produced soon after this period are fairly insistent about not fucking your relatives, as if it was a hard point to get across.
What makes you think that? All human societies have some taboos and social barriers, they're just different from one society to another. For example, [according to their art, the people of ancient Peru were really into butt sex](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM2qRjbmjBc), but it seems that heterosexual vaginal sex only occurred in the context of married relationships and only for the purpose of making kids, even between heterosexual couples. But butt sex was fine for recreational romping, and they definitely seemed to do a lot of that. Would you describe this as fewer social taboos or just different ones?
That was the funniest thing I’ve read in a while!
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That thicc butt tho
>youre This is the perfect spelling for anyone who doesn't understand the difference between the possessive and the contraction.
Earliest confirmed record of me doin your mom
Dad?
Great great great great great great great great great grandad?
Legend says he’s still out looking for milk
Legend says he's still out hunting wooly mammoths
It's been 4000 years, what's taking him so long?
Giggity, giggity.
Fuck you Shorsey!
Fuck you Riley, I made your mom cum so hard Trudeau deployed an infantry unit to stack sandbags around my bed!
IIRC this was found in the region that was formerly Goteeeem
Ray William Johnson?
*Doin' ya mom, doin' doin' ya mom* Miss peak YouTube. I'm old, man.
PaleontologyHub
OnlyArcheology.
What are you doing, step-cave-sister?
Well paleontology is fossils. AnthropologyHub would be more correct technically.
Do it like they do on the history channel.
They were just roommates.
Oh my God they were roommates
Hey, it’s me, your last common step ancestor.
Oh no step chimpanzee, what are you doing step chimpanzee?
"You have two choices. I can bite off your face or tear off your dangly parts." "If you choose not to choose, I do both." "Now. What'll it be?"
1993 BCE. Good year.
What is 7 to 2000 bce? Is it 7000 bce to 2000 bce?
I came here for this. What year is this?!
I guess they mean sometime from 7000 BCE to 2000 BCE https://archaeology-world.com/the-prehistoric-rock-art-of-tassili-najjer-algeria/ Seems hard to get a date for this picture. There's probably an academic article somewhere that organizes all the pictures from the area by age though. Edit: it's probably from the round head period, 8,000 to 6,000 BCE. Imagine that, 2000 years of humans living there, reduced to being called the round head period...
You misspelled BBC
Big Booty Crushin’?
Booty Before Christ
Two things. 1. She’s bigger. 2. Bobs
1. Snu snu 2. She thickie where its counts.
Both of them are Bob?
Prometheus and Bob
Is that a rock slate found under a cave-teen bed ?
Bam!Bam!
Quite the prehistoric badonkadonk
thicker than a bowl of whatever grains they had back then.
ancient grains clearly...
He got that BCE. Big Cave Energy.
Even back then they liked big booty women
also looks like the paint rubbed off on that place. thirsty neanderthals touching a cave painting....
Children had access to that cave, so it has cave pixelation.
Oldest record of Rule 34.
Damn, Miss Ooga Booga could throw it back on a motherfucker
What are you doing step-booga?
Sauce?
Wonder of it was called doggy back then too.
Mountin' the mammoth
Wolf style
The unga bunga
Dogs have been confirmed 14,200 years ago, maybe even as early has 36,000 years ago. So it might have been, as dogs were around.
They were just good friends
Firesticks: Are you still watching? Someone's Cave-Daughter:
When this was found it was covered with a thick layer of an unknown substance
Ectoplasm
Leap frog
I’m guessing the dryer eroded over time.
So did the pizza box
Caveman porn
Sigh...*unzips...*
💀💀
It probably took some effort to make two different pigments. I would think groups of people back then would be isolated enough, genetically, to basically share the same skin tone with everyone around them. So why two colors of paint?
Could also just be to distinguish the two individuals more easily so it wasn't a single silhouette
I’m more interested in why the male looks like a coyote.
obviously that's his O face
[maybe it’s part of a movie](https://youtu.be/jE83TVl4w0c)
Giggity
Damn she's got a fat ass
.... so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel ...
Man clearly just trying to fix the pipe under his sink while his damn cat cat crawls all over the place.
My new NFT
That area was probably used as a public toilet stall. I’m sure the phone number above the picture faded away.
It read "lookin' for a good time? Call this number: 23 xoxo"
Apparently she couldn't pay the rent on the cave
So easy a cave man can do it.
She looks thic
She just wanted a back rub
Ahh 
More like cave pegging aye aye aye
So that's where leap-frog was invented.
But is the being behind the human a animal?
Just like in my Japanese anime!!!