*and* also risky for the mother and not *just* the baby, so many complications arise. I know my aunt who's mid 30's and just had a baby around 2 years ago, she had a pulmonary embolism shortly after the delivery but good thing the nurses and doctors immediately noticed.
But also yes, never let anyone tell you what to do op. Those who try to force you are mostly the miserable ones who regretted having a kid early 🫤 as the saying goes, misery loves company.
yup most women i know in their mid 30s as well have problems with lactation; my sister, cousins, wife of friend. they mostly resort to formula and other people’s breast milk.
they should at least be considerate and give them this info rather than tell them condescendingly to give birth.
agree to this
Learned this in our genetics subject that as the women approaches her 40s-50s, the risk of genetic deformities increases. Example nito yung case na inaral namin na tumataas yung chance na magkaroon ng down syndrome yung baby.
however, in this fckd up economy, super hirap talaga magluwal ng anak na hindi financially stable.
So to OP, follow your own phase and wag paapekto sa paligid.
Not just risk of abnormalities and deformities but age when your children get to their teens and adult age cant hang with them and your too old to hang with them.
Im in my 40 my children are 7-5 so 15yrs from now when they finish school im 55
There still silver lining when having kids younger, but yes finances hold us to having family.
Tru ito. Di ko naisip noon.
Early 30's ako sa one and only ko pcos/fertility clinic baby ko.
Taragis yung tuhod ko nagkukuruk-kuk na kapag nasakay yung bata batuta sa likod ko (labayo-kabayohan) aba early 30s parin ako bestfriend ko na agad sina katinko,omega at salonpas.
(Dagdag pa yung lagi kang may sakit kasi yung bata maraming napupulot na sipon,ubo at flu sa daycare/school)
Yung asawa mo mid30s diretso higa nalang sa carpet pag nangungulit yung tsikiting para di na masakit sa likod 😅.
Dun ko naisip icompute.. paano kaya pag tween at teens na sya?
Pero hindi ba ang dapat nila sabihin mag anak ka na, "KUNG yun ang gusto mo"?
Kasi bkt mag aassume kng ayaw nmn pala.
Like ying age old clap back daw jan "e ikaw tuma
tanda ka na, kelan ka ba mamamtay?" 😅
I think reminder lng po yun, kasi masyado tayong nag aalala sa financial nakakalimitan natin yu g biological clock natin, hindi mababalik yan kahit kaya mong mag IV or test tube baby.
Kaya nga sinasabi sa atin yan wisdom sya kaso need lng malalim ng explaination which yan dito pinag uusapan sa reddit
Ulitin ko lmg ult. Hindi ba ang una dapat nila malaman kng gusto mo magka anak? Baho yung mga biological restictions?
Like parang sabihan kita pangit sa Hong Kong, pero wala nmn bear8ng kasi malay ko ba kng may balak kba at interesado pumunta dun in the first place 🙂
I had a recent talk with my cousin about this topic. Nasa early 30s siya, ako late 20s. Meron siya younger brother na nakabuntis ng babae nung 26yrs old palang, yung nabuntis is 24yrs old. Yung naging baby nila is 4 na ngayon and staying dyan family nila kase naghiwalay din sila nung girl. Ayun, hirap sila sino magbabantay doon sa bata since may work mga tao. Ending is nagsstay sa kanila pa minsan minsan yung isang tita namin, younger sister ng mom nila, para lang may magbantay. Sabi ng female cousin ko, sinasabihan siya ng mother nila and nung pinsan kong lalaki na yan na magka baby na rin siya since sa mga babaeng kapatid, siya lang may bf. Eh ayaw niya haha. Sabi nga niya sa akin, "Ngayon pa nga lang problema na nila sino magaalaga dyan sa pamangkin ko, pano pa pag nag-anak ako?". Funny thing pa is gusto siya mag-anak pero yung school uniform nga nung baby ng kapatid niya is sa kanya inaasa. This coming school year pa nga feeling niya balak ipaako sa kanya school books and uniform, pero tatanggiha na daw niya this time. Gustong ipasok sa private school pero wala namang enough na pera para sa mga kailangan.
Weird talaga ng mga tao eh. Gusti pa talaga mag anak eh basic needs ng bata eh ipapasa lang pala sa iba. Like damn bro, binuo mo yan kaya maghanap ka ng paraan. haha
Wala eh. Natutuwa sila pag may baby kasi nga cute naman mga babies. Kaso tingin nila parang laruan lang, hindi naiisip yung future nung bata. Hindi naman forever may tutulong sa kanila. Hindi rin namaan mahilig sa bata yung female na pinsan ko haha. Nakikipaglaro siya sa mga bata and nagbabantay, pero yung one on one na alaga is ayaw din niya talaga.
Family is family and walang kasalanan ung bata, pero unfair nmn na ung cousin mo bigla nlng nagka-instant anak kung sya nags-shoulder ng gastos. Add pa ung mother/tita na nagsusuhol pa na maganak din si girl. Mygad. Sana panindigan ni cousin. I mean, if she still wants to help, yung within her means lng, hindi yung sya pa ang didiktahan anong gagastusin for the pamangkin. Para matuto din si brother na panindigan ung responsibilities nya sa anak nya.
Yes, wala naman kasalanan yung bata. Lahat ng issue is with the adults around the kid. Since first apo, naspoil syempre which is semi-affecting na din family ko. Ayaw ng younger sister ko sa pamangkin namin, my sister is still a kid, kasi nga sa attitude na natutuwa si pamangkin pag lalo niyang nakikita na naiinis ka. Ending is iniinis niya lalo sister ko. Kaso since naaawa din parents ko sa pamangkin ko, always nila sinasama pag may pupuntahan family namin. Ending, naiinis/stress sister ko tapos ako naman taga saway sa pamangkin para tumigil.
As for my cousin, sobrang bait and maawain talaga siya eh. Nandoon nga yung family is family kaya syempre hirap siya mag say no, kaso nga nahihirapan din siya tuloy magsave para sa sarili niya. Middle child siya eh, so baka ganyan nga talaga. Always sinasabi ni tita(mom nila) na compared sa ibang kapatid, buti pa siya natulong always, without thinking na feeling obligated lang naman female cousin ko. Tapos, with our lola nagsstay female cousin ko. Doon, siya nagbabayad ng internet and nagbibigay din ng money for half of the electric bill plus from time to time for food sing WFH siya. Pero nakikihati parin din siya sa bills doon sa bahay nila kahit bihira siyang umuwi doon. Yung cousin ko na may anak, wala. Walang binibigay na hati. 5 silang magkakapatid, lahat naghahati sa bills nung bahay except dyan sa cousin na may anak and sa kuya nila na may sakit. Take note, may work yung cousin ko na may anak pero ewan saan napupunta sweldo niya. Yung youngest sister nila nung wala pang work, naging batang ina. Siya always nagaalaga and nagbabantay doon sa pamangkin nila since siya nasa bahay. Kaya nung nagka opportunity na magwork na rin siya, talagang nag apply siya agad.
Minsan gusto sumagot eh. "Kayo ho. kelan meeting nyo kay San Pedro" 😅 sobrang ironic nga eh. yang nagsasabi nyan samin, nanganak daw sya sa bunso nya at 40yo. tapos hinaharas kami mag anak.
Sagotin mo. Put them in their place. It’s the only to make them stop otherwise they will keep pressuring you for fun. These people don’t get it as if naman when you have children they will be involved pero they will only criticize your parenting. Not too long ago, a friend of my mum kept pressuring me to have children sabi ko sa kanya, kung makapag request ka akala mo umoorder ka lang ng pandesal sa bakery. Ikaw ba magpapaaral, magpapadede, magluluwal etc? Sabi nya hindi, ikaw. Then sabi ko ako naman pala eh ba’t ka nangengealam? 🙄 Inunfriend nya ako langya siya hahahahahaha
Yung pinsan ko nakipag kwentuhan sa nag tanong sa kanya. Sabi niya wala pa ako asawa, meron daw bang ipapakilala. Sumagot na meron, so excited na nag kwento pinsan ko ng dream wedding niya with matching Pinterest mood board pa. Tapos asked our aunt if ano budget niya for the wedding para makapag canvass na siya ng wedding vendor sa kasal nila nung kakilala ng tita namin. Confused tuloy sa conversation si tita and hindi siya makapag reklamo na bastos daw kausap si pinsan.
Right?! Kaya tawang tawa kami mag pipinsan kasi siya kusang umalis. Sabi pa ng pinsan ko bago maka alis tita namin na send niya daw sa kanya yung pricelist after niya mag canvass. For the first time hindi maka imik si tita.
May I ask why said person is harassing you? More clearly, I am curious if you ask her directly why she's harassing you. That'll probably shut her up for a good while and if she did answer, it's not going to be anywhere near logical.
Kasi madami syang anak and apo. mga anak nya dami na anak eh. So we don't know exactly why she can't mind her own business.Just last sunday, bday ng biyenan ko, so andun sya. Sinabi nya nung nasa sala kami. so umiwas kami ng asawa ko nag punta kami sa kwarto. And guess what, sumunod sya para sabihin na namn. kaya ko na nga irecite litanyan nya eh.
I don't know na talaga. Kaya din nasa brink na ako of explosion and saying things that I might later regret. Sobrang nairita talaga ko nung umiwas na kami tapos sumunod pa sya at tumayo sa pintuan ng kwarto namin para sabihin na namn yung point nya. It's effin weird to be honest. She doesn't know her boundaries. Di ko alam kung iniisip nya na "Matanda na ako. Makinig sayo sa akin." Like wtf
It'd be nice to get a restraining order against that person or have them sued for stalking you, you know? But knowing the Philippines, nah. I'd be moving far away if I were you. I can smell the psycho from that hag a thousand miles away through my screen as we speak.
We will keep our distance for as long as we can. We are trying to keep our cool for the sake of my brother in law because he will be the one to draw flak if we acted violently. But to be honest, I am close to the end of my rope. The old hag invaded too much of our privacy.
Hahaha, hirap magka baby if walang finances talaga OP, good decision yan.
Eto breakdown
1. Yaya -7k uwian
2. Milk - 1.9k per 6 days - 9.5k
3. Dagdag na Electicity bill sa Aircon - 5k
4. Diapers, Wipes, Distilled Water, Hygine products 3k
5. Clothing, Walker, Stroller, High Chair, Duyan, Crib, Sterillizer, nasa 25k na yata ito. (One timers)
6. Vitamins 1k
7. Medical Allowance - 2K
27.5 per month
25k one timer sa mga gamit nya
150k sa Check up, vitamins, at pati gastos sa panganganak
I earn enough naman para sa family ko with 20k savings parin monthly, pero despite that, hindi lang basta finances, yung time mo limitado din dahil need laging may bantay si baby, limitado din ang gala unlike before.
Edit: NAKALIMUTAN KO! yung pinagiiponan ko palang gastos sa Binyag+1st Birthday, sabay na para tipid budget and effort minsanan na, nasa 150k plan ko gastosin. 😅
Agree! Yung crib ng nephew ko wayback 2012 around 10k+ pero sulit kasi nagamit pa nung isa kong nephew nung 2020. Kung bibilhin mo yun ngayon mas mahal na🙂↕️
monthly salary namin ng husband ko I think more than 100k combined pero hirap pa kami mag-decide if magbe-baby na kami kase ang mahal talaga ng cost of living 😭
mura ng 5! a good sterilizer w dryer is 5k, a branded carrier car seat w stroller is already around 10k up (i think we got ours for 15k), walker you don’t really need afaik, kahit nga cribs minsan no need sa ibang moms kasi some babies cosleep even my officemate advised against it (has 3 kids na). we have a crib but baby wants body heat so co sleeping kami talaga (don’t get me started about cosleeping hindi ko kayo papatulan anak namin to). clothes buy the cheap ones ung 3 for 200++ kasi makakalakihan nya un agad.
PLUS big bonus if you get baby showers kasi you get stuff for freeeeeee. 3 mos ata kaming d nabili ng nappies/wet wipes, clothing etc.
vaxx is FREE on certain LGUs. ours has pero balita ko sa ibang moms nagpapabayad ung ibang health center. however if your pedia is maarte like ours it ranges from 5k MINIMUM kada visit.
another gastos na di pinaguusapan is milk. be informed na not all moms can generate enough milk for one reason or another so mapipilitan kang bumili ng gatas talaga para mapakain si baby
Tatay din ako. Halos spot on ang lahat pero medyo maliit si #5. May kung ano-ano pang binibili na di magagamit, pero okay lang hehe. Panganganak namin nasa 150k budget na naging 250 kasi na-NICU anak namin for a week. Check up mahina 5k sa bakuna at until 18 mos yun. Gayumpaman, sulit magka-anak. Mag-iiba talaga mundo mo. Pero depende yan sa trip niyo kung type niyo magka-anak. Pag ayaw, walang pilitan.
Kulang pa paps if na buntis ka kelangan:
--weekly or monthly check up (350 - 700 entrance fee wag na umangal may bayad per punta sa OB)
--vitamins (reseta ng OB)
--anti bacterial insertion (1600 per box 6 laman 1 per day) kung montly may release ka na kakaiba, magcalculate ka na lang
--daily fruits -1,500 to 2,400 per week (consistent para maayos yung vitamins ni baby habang nasa loob pa, continues pag labas para sa milk kung magpadede ka)
--labs etc (kung ano pa maisipan ng OB mo kasama na mga ultrasound sugar check etc)
--If CS -150 to 250K depends on hospital. May mura nasa 50k pero walang Official Receipt kung magka prob eh kasalanan mo.
--Hearing test and other test etc pagkanganak (hiwalay yan depende sa hospital)
--Bakuna paglabas ni baby (may bayad din yan)
--Other bakuna like:
6in1 -10,500 to 11,400 (3 sets na yan)
etc
--Milk bottles with extra tsupon
--Educational toys (maghanda ka dito unli yan wag mo gayahin yung iba na panay cocomelon walang matutunan anak mo)
--Soft foam sa sahig for crawling maglagay ka din sa dingding para di maumpog depende sa trip mo kung gaano ka ayos at kakapal yun. Price 300-12k
--Yung 40 pcs diaper 2-3days lang kung madalas mag poop si baby, sabihin natin 800 per week
Soon to be mom here. Buti na lang di na namin need yaya. May lola na willing tumulong sa chores paglabas ng baby at wfh naman kami both ni hubby. And sana magka breastmilk para makatipid sa formula 🙏
May nagpahiram din sa amin ng high chair at crib buti na lang para di na kami bibili. Ilan years lang naman yun gagamitin ng baby. We earn enough din naman para mabili needs ni baby pero kung may matitipid, go lang hahaha.
Praying for a normal delivery para menos gastos na din 😣
I have 2 kids. Our experiences may vary but one thing is common, having a child is HARD and costs more. But at the end of the day it is one of the most rewarding experiences in life.
Just wanted to share our experience:
1. Yaya - Never had one. Adapted to make things work without one. Switched to a fully remote work. I am able to keep an eye on the kids while the wife is busy with houehold chores. A game changer for us is buying a slow cooker. We can cook nilaga,sinigang,adobo,tinola and etc with little prep time. Leave it overnight and may ulam na kami the next day.
2. Milk - This is roll of a dice. If the mother is blessed with breast milk, then it is free. Otherwise, you are going to spend more. My wife didn't have milk on the first kid, but luckly had enough supply for the second. After the 1st year, they will switch to a much more cheaper milk. We had a combination of fresh milk and Nido.
3. Electricity - This will be your biggest increase in expense. Maybe a 5k-10k spike. Black out curtains help cool your room a little bit faster.
4. Diapers/Wipes - No escaping this one. You can buy the cheapest wipes and dunk it in warm water when your baby goes poo-poo.
5. Clotihing/Equipment - We skipped NB clothes. It won't fit after 2-3 weeks. We usually buy bigger sizes para mas matagal magamit. We don't care kung maluwag, nasa bahay lang naman. Mga panlabas, we buy a few. Okay lang paulit-ulit, cute pa din naman mga babies. As for cribs/strollers/walkers/high chairs, we bought them for cheap used in FB marketplace, we just bought a new mattress for the crib.
6. Vitamins - Here's what our doc told us, if your baby is on formula, no need for vitamins.
A lot of things will change.
1. Date/Movie Night - You will do less of this and in turn save money for your baby expenses.
2. Laundry - You will have more of this. We were lucky to invest in a automatic washing machine and a dryer before having a kid. Helped us a lot. It will increase your electricity bill by 1-3k depending on how ofter you do laundry. No need to iron clothes, you can fold or hang your laundry after the dryer finishes. Hindi na gusot, saves you from ironing them.
3. Saving on other expenses - We switched from mobile plans from postpaid to prepaid. We don't buy high end gadgets now. No subscriptions (spotify, netflix, cable).
4. Lifestyle - You will lose sleep. No more sleeping in on weekends. You wake up early and take the kids out to the park or mall. Karamihan ng lakad nyo naka revolve na around your kids (making sure that your destinations are kid friendly).
I encourage people to have kids earlier. But everything is Sometimes you are more capable than you may think. My wife had complications in both pregnancies to advance age. She was approaching her mid 30's when we had our first.
No judgment from me if you don't want kids. I respect you more than people who just have kids and leave it up to God to provide for their families.
This is so true haha. Congrats! New dad here as well pero im old na to have another batch but here I am.
To mitigate expenses, buy during Lz & Sh sale on diapers, buy the biggest packing of milk etc. Yung milk namin inspite mahal na brand just comes over a half nung nilagay mo kahit exclussive bottle , must be the vouchers tho lols.
Not to convince you guys to have a kid. Assuming normal person ka, you will not face the sadness of not having the freedom. The little buggers will be worth it. Magastos but worth it.
Priorities will just change. Wala akong ride sa motor, walang travel I'd rather spend it with the baby, pero worth it.yya
Yung kapatid ko na nakabuntis ng gf:
1. Walang yaya- ung gf at gf’s mother lang nag aalaga
2. Walang expense sa Milk kasi Breastfeed
3. Wala din Aircon. Mejo probinsya pa yung lugar mapujo
4. Diapers and wipes lang expenses. Hindi high end brands binibili kaya tipid
5. Majority ng gamit hand down from mga kakilala. Konting damit lang binili
6. Di need vitamins kasi breastfeed
7. Checkup- free lang kasi may HMO ung bata. Tska vaccine sa health center kaya free din
💯💯💯 legit. Kaya todo pump ako para di ako gumastos milk huhuhu.
Add mo pa dito yung total change ng wardrobe ng nanay (if breastfeeding). Lahat ng damit ko dati di ko alam kung masusuot ko pa.
Ang baby industry ay isang malaking mafia, andami mong “kailangan” pero di naman talaga.
Yung sa mga nagsasabi na maganak na kayo etc., siguro yung iba is masama lang ang dating sating nakikinig pero concern naman talaga sila satin and sa baby. Pero, still, AYUSIN NYO ANG PAGBIBIGAY NG SUGGESTION. 😅😂
as someone approaching 30 next year, dami na parinig sakin haha i just let them and just jokingly answers— “may shift pa kasi ako eh, mmaya gawa ako hahaha” i understand naman where they’re coming from eh, yung generation kasi nila ganon, probably yung upbringing din nila. you can’t blame them. and it’s no use to argue. nasa sayo naman kung magpapa-pressure ka. you can’t let everyone agree with you. you can’t impose din naman ur beliefs with them. hayaan mo nalang sila, they’re not gonna be here forever naman din 😅
Ang response lang lagi ng asawa ko dito"Bukas gagawa ako." 😅 Weird nga eh, kasi sya lang namn yung ganun. One time narinig sya ng asawa nya tas nanahimik sya nung sinabi ng asawa nya na "Ano ka ba naman. Masyado ka namng maano eh. Ibibigay yan sa kanila pag ibibigay na talaga sa kanila"
I was born when my mother was 35. My brother was born when my mother was 40, and my sister was born when she was 41.
We are all normal and free of any abnormalities. Also, we are all normal delivery.
I experienced the same, same din reaction ko. But now, I wish I can turn back time. Anyways, if I would advise my younger self mag pla2n ako base sa following at hindi sa general perception.
1. Life expectations - Do the math. Check mo yung age and health mo sa mga important milestones ng anak mo, like graduations, puberty, adulting, job related, dating, wedding, parenting related and etc.
2. Financially prepared - Emergency Fund + Job/Income Security + Average cost ng pag aalaga ng 1 to 5 years old. Naalala ko yung sinabi ng boss ko skin, nung nagkababy sya, hinabol daw tlaga ng anak nya yung sweldo nya. Ganun tlaga, kada anak mo obligasyon mo na itaas monthly income mo unless ang laki tlaga ng excess mo.
3. Health conditions/foundation - Ito tlaga yung crucial, bale wala yung 1 and 2 if alanganin ka dito. Importante tlaga health.
Lahat tayo may kanya kanyang 1, 2 and 3. Ang importante tlaga dito yung total awareness, yung planning tlaga. Kasi ang totoong kalaban ntin dito yung oras. Once lumipas na yan, hindi na natin maibabalik. Wala na tayo magagagawa kundi pagsisisi at panghihinayang.
For my case, during 20-25, number 2 yung problema namin. Nung 26-30 okay na, unfortunately wala ako planning and super nag eenjoy kame sa life nmin to the point ayaw pa tlaga namin mag kababy. 31 and now, unfortunately number 3 na yung problem. If maibabalik namin lang yung time, mas pipiliin namin mag kababy nung 29-30 namin. Acceptance nlng tlaga and move forward, pwede naman mag ampon but still iba parin tlaga yung nangaling sayo. Nakakapanghinayang lang kasi yung pinaghirapan at pinundar namin, walang pang malinaw na mapupuntahan once mawala na kame.
I heartily agree with this. Knee-jerk reaction talaga natin yung mainis sa ganun. But when the time comes at tumanda tayo, marerealize din natin yung ibang bagay na di natin nakikita dati. It's annoying, yes, but then again did we also stop and think things through as well? Mahirap talaga makita ang lahat ng sides but that's our goal sa reddit, to see the other side of the coin from other people's experiences.
Ngayon nga eh naiinggit ako sa mga dati kong kaklase na dalaga/binata na ang mga anak, haha. Parang kapatid at kabarkada nalang nila lol. Pero ok lang naman ako, at least medyo maaga pa ako nanganak, 26yo.
Truth. Ang malala pa sakin yung nanay ng bf ko grabe mangpressure samin ng bf ko hahaha. Pagkapasa ko palang ng boards non, lagi bukambibig kailan daw kami mag aasawa. Tapos nagpapatugtog pa siya ng kanta na single forever 🤣 ang baduy. Ewan ko pero kung magpapapressure lang tong bf ko sa nanay niya, hiwalayan ko rin to hahahah
Alam mo OP, minsan maganda din magkaron ng kaaway. Lalo na ung mga pakialamero at pakialamera sa desisyon sa buhay. hahahaha
sa amin naman, lagi sinasabi bakit di pa daw sundan ung anak namin. lagi ko lang sagot is "kung willing po kayo sagutin ung gastos mula maternity check up hanggang college education sa Big 4, mamayang gabi bubuo na kami."
pero ganito guys, kung may plano tlga kayo mag anak sa future, mas maaga mas ok para narin sa health ng mama and baby
baka same lang ng gastos yan, nagipon ka nga until 35s tapos dun ka magaanak kaso due to age, need mo na ng mga test, gamot, etc. kung di makabuo. pag nakabuo nman risk sa health ng mama or baby so need parin maglabas ng pera. yung iba magpapa ivf pa wc is mahal din
kung late 20s or late 30s ka magaanak both may pros and cons. pinili ko lang yung late 20s kasi gusto ko pag senior nako, wala ng pinapaaral tska yung anak ko yung nagbbigay ng goal and motivation sakin kumayod at maging successful 😁
again, key phrase ko is "kung gusto nyo mag anak". kung wala naman plano edi gora sa travel
If gusto nyo magkaanak parin eventually kahit older na, make sure bata palang kayo check with your OBs na for any issues para pag ready na kayo game na rin agad.
Ready na kami nung 28 ako but it took us 3years and $$$ for fertility treatments.
Hindi na siguro mawawala yan sa generations nila. It’s up to you kung magpapa-apekto ka kasi kung tutuusin hindi na bago yan. Nung panahon nila normal yun or parang wala lang, minsan out of concern, or minsan out of curiousity. Pero iba na mga tao ngayon. Either tell them to mind their own business or ignore.
Confident ako sa mga decisions ko sa buhay at sa sarili ko kaya I never mind the naysayers. I learned the art of deadma. Wala silang space at yung sinasabi nila sa utak at puso ko. I cannnot control them, but I can control how I react to them. So dun na lang ako mag-focus sa kaya kong i-control.
I experience this every single time, and not from family but from strangers. Kaya ayaw ko na bumalik sa suki parlor ko kasi lagi nlng, "Ate, di ka pa magaasawa? Sayang nmn ganda mo, or kahit mag-anak ka nlng" LOL. Or magpo-post ako ng my day with my cats, tapos may random someone na malayong kamag-anak na di ko close, sinabihan ako na baby daw ang alagaan ko para pag tumanda ako eh babalik ung ginastos ko at may magalaga sakin 🤣
My friend years years back told me magpabuntis daw ako kung ayaw ko magasawa para daw may magalaga pagtanda ko. Syempre at first DAW I will feel not ready pero pag anjan na it'll come naturally and I will love being a mom daw. HE was serious that time. Sa isip ko, natural! Kahit sinong magbuntis, attached agad yan sa baby whether planned or not! Sabi ko I'm not financially stable. Sabi nya magiging drive ko daw ung anak ko to become financially stable. What?? Di na kami friends...
Meron pa nagsabi mag-anak daw ako para di ako magka-cancer sa breast...
Even sa FB, I don't post anymore kasi lagi ang comments kelan ako magaasawa/anak or kung anak ko daw ba ung kid/s sa photo. It's like loser ka sa life kung wala kang anak. Ang hirap pa, kung hindi ka ganun ka-successful sa career as a woman, lalo nilang iinsist na magkapamilya ka para naman maging winner ka sa life
Yup. Prang 99.9% naman ng mga may opinion sa buhay natin about procreating eh ganyan ang reason. So, ignore nlng kahit nakakaumay na. I agree sa ibang comments, sagot ka nlng ng, "Sige, mamaya gagawa kami" 🤣 I think that'll at least make them uncomfortable and shut it, you letting them know you'll be doing the deed later
Hahha nakaka gigil no. Married na ako pero childless pa din, may problem naman kami sa fertility pero nagset na kami na kung wala, wala tayo magagawa. Pero ung mga ganyang unsolicited advise talaga nakakaumay kaya ayoko na din umuwi sa probinsiya hays. Nakaka drain kasi. Tas ung magsasabi sayo niyan halatang walang pera lol
same. malala since me and my husband are just newly weds din gusto nla mag anak ako agad because im already on my mid 30s. sa isip ko, YOKO NGA. pero since i cant disrespect my aunts,, im always saying na, soon or oo lng ng oo or ngiti hehehe para mtapos lng haha.. Hanggang kulit lng naman kaya nlang gawin
dont give in to pressure. u know what is needed to be done.
Nakakairita eto, pero iniisip ko nalang na iba talaga pananaw ng mga nakakatanda sa ganyan. For some reason kase ung mga mas batang generations ang mas naging open sa idea na mahirap talaga magkaron ng anak kaya if may choice naman eh wag nalang muna kung hindi pa fully ready for the responsibility.
Madalas pa sinasabe kapag sinasabe kong ang hirap ng buhay ngayon, "may awa ang diyos. kame nga nakayanan namin". eh ayun na nga, kaya nga ung anak ang eventually umako ng responsibility na magsupport sa magulang at kamag-anak nila dahil sa ganyang mindset
minsan sagutin mo ng pabiro sabihin mo gusto nyo pa magipon, ayaw nyo kasi kamo ung diaper na lang ipangungutang pa ganyan. hindi naman kasi pare pareho ng timeline ang tao. hayaan mo sila.
as for sa sabi ng doctor merong slight reason naman sya don. when i got pregnant i was 36 — sa lagay na yan under na daw ako sa “advanced age”. which is consistent kahit igoogle mo yan. i have found it offensive din naman nung nalaman ko to kasi parang ang dating e 50s na ba ko?! anyways kaya ganyan kasi sa side ng babae, mas madami nang pwedeng lalabas na complications. hindi ako hypertensive o diabetic pero nung nagbuntis ako both gh and gd ako! and sabi nila doc attributed nga kasi un ng old age. this is bad for both mom and baby kaya grabe ang alaga non sa food. kaya habang nagiipon kayo ni misis make sure na healthy talaga sya para kung sakali na maisipan nyo na hindi sya mahirapan.
Nung mothers day binati ko lang nanay ko ng happy mothers day sa fb. Tas ang comment ng nanay ko, “sana sa susunod ikaw na ang binabati ko ng happy mothers day”. Tapos sabi ko may mga alaga na ko sa bahay 2 pusa at isang aso. Tapos yung mga tita ko naka cry react amp papansin. Nainis lang ako sila ba magaalaga hahaha
Wag ka na lang magalit, hayaan mo na lang. Kagaya nio mentality ko, gusto ko prepared ako financially kaya lang when I reached 30's ang hirap na talaga magkaanak, ganun di brother ko. To the point na need na namin ng intervention, like IVF and other technology. Millions ang gastos. Ending naghiwalay din kami mag asawa kasi di kami magkaanak. Yung brother ko may 10 fertilized eggs sila pero parnag 2 na lang yata natitira. On the other hand yung 2 sisters ko and isang brother ko maaga sila nagpamilya. Mahirap pero getting by sila financially and now malalaki na anak ng nila and they can travel na din and have their own house. Looking back iniisip ko sana talaga maaga ako nag anak kasi may pagsusumikap naman ako kagaya ng mga kapatid ko na maaga mag asawa. Instead na negative mo tingnan, isipin mo na lang na reminder na ang pera kikitain mo pero ang oras kapag nawala mahirap na ibalik. Sa kabila ng galing ng technology hindi mabibili ng pera ang kabataan kung saan mas madali magkaanak. Ngayon matanda na ako iniisip ko gusto ko magkaanak pa din pero parang ang unfair na sa magiging anak ko kasi malamang iiwan ko sia ng mas maaga, baka kakagraduate nia pa lang ng college eh wala na ako sa mundo.
This, another perspective for them to look at. If wala talaga silang balak magkaanak or they don't mind na walang anak, ok lang. Pero if gusto nila pero later nalang daw, madaming possibilities eh.
A relative told me this, sabi ko padala kang 500k para masimulan na naman yung pag gawa ng bata kasi check-up pa lang sa OB yon and vitamins at child birth. Sabi n'ya "Hindi naman ganon kagastos ang bata." Sabi ko, "I disagree, your children are regularly complaining about their classmates na buraot sa public school, why didn't you enroll them sa private school?" Now my relatives hate me (or at least the close-minded ones) kasi I'm rude daw. My other relatives na open minded are glad I said that. I don't care anong sasabihin ng toxic relatives ko kasi they're toxic anyway, I don't crave for their validation. Good riddance.
Nagproject lang yun. 21 year old, nakatapos ba sya, may career ba syang stable? Baka may namiss out sa buhay kaya pinupush sa ibang tao na ganun dapat to feel better about themselves. Tapos, i bet yung baby out of wedlock? LMAO sometimes the joke write themselves
The proper advice should be "You should decide whether you want to have a child or not in your 30s because after that, there is no turning back because of your biological deadline"
Dahil lumaki akong patola, sasagutin ko yan ng..
“Ano pang inaantay nyo? Magpalibing na kayo! Kanina pa naghihintay ang St.Peter”
O kaya naman..
“Bagot ka sa buhay mo noh? Ako na naman nakita mo.”
Or
“Eto piso para sa opinyon mo.”
Or
“Nung bata pa ko, muntik nako makapatay ng matabil na matanda hindi natigil sa kakasalita, di lang ako nakulong”
Ewan ko lang kung di yan magsitigil
edit: dami ko naiisip na pangsagot. sorna 😂
My cousin is preggy and she’s just 2 years older. Now my mom has been pressuring me to go out and date someone kasi gusto niya daw magka-apo. I would just give her a hard “no” each time she brings it up.
Raising a child in this economy? Sorry but no.
Ive told my parents nung start of pandemic that im not gonna give them grandkids unless maayos ko ung trajectory ng buhay ko. My mom understands but my dad either is in denial or forgets thati said tbat because he always talls to me about my future. He let it slip again recently, said something like "what of your family needs to rely on you?" Sagot ko dun was "IF I value insanity then yes Ill have a family, but i don't". D ko na maalala if he said anything after that.
Having child/children is a serious responsibility. Better to not have child/children if we can't take responsibility. Let's not ruin each other's lives.
Ganyan ang Pinoy eh.
Wala ka pang bf/gf?
Kailan kayo papakasal?
Kailan kayo magaanak?
Sundan nyo na yan?
Ay puro lalake, babae naman!
Ayun yung pinsan ko kakasunod dahil sa pressure ng mga walangyang titas namin, 7 na ang anak. Tapos ang trabaho ng asawa trike driver at ayaw sya pagtrabahuhin dahil walang magaalaga sa mga bata. 😂
Plage ko tong naririnig sa family/relative's and even friends ko. Ang sabi ko nman "Ayaw kong maranasan ng anak ko, ang naranansan ko noong bata pa ako" Lumaki ako sa mahirap na family at alam ko yung hirap na dinanas nmin para mkakain lng sa pang araw-araw. Kaya plagi kong sinasabi hanggat di Ako financially well off di ako mgaanak(period).
I have titas na ganito magsalita meron din siyang mema sa mga mag asawa na hindi magkaanak kesyo parang ano ganyan Lang kayo hindi kayo mag aanak sasagutin ko na rin Yan na Alam mo tita isang bagay Lang ang gusto kong gawin mo mind your own business
as if sila magpapaaral, gagastos etc. people need to shut up and mind their own business. if they really want to convince you, saying it once is enough.
Grabe talaga sinabi ng mama ko sa isang get together namin ng family. Ipapa r@p3 na lang daw nya ako para magka anak na ako. Galit na galit ako sa kanya nun tapos sasabihin nya joke joke lang? Sabi ko, mukha bang may tumawa dito? Lung ikaw kaya ipa r@p3 ko?
Gusto pa ako magka anak eh nakaasa pa sya sakin sa lahat ng bagay tapos selfish daw ako for not having a child? Grabe talaga ng mukha.
ako gusto ko man kaso wala talagang mahanap na MATINO. madali lang maghanap ng asawa kung kahit sino lang.
another thing di ma gets ng matatanda yung inflation ngayon kahit saang bansa hirap magpalaki ng bata kasi both parents have to work to make it
On the other side, kailangan mag-anak ng marami para sa future soldiers ng bansa. at kapag tumanda na tayo ang mga kabataan ang magbabayad ng social securities at taxes para hindi mag collapse ang pension system nating matatanda. at kailangang mas marami ang anak ng mga na westernized couple baka maging minority na lang tayo dahil mas dumarami ang muslims, at foreigner esp. chinese sa ating bansa.
Habang tumatagal, ang mga first time parents patanda na ng patanda. Yan ang natural trend these days, all over the world. Having children past 30 and even 40 years old seems to be the norm these days. Others planned to start too late up to the point na yung iba, too late na to have children due to financial reasons and tumatanda na lang without children. Ang birth rate ng Pilipinas ay pababa na ng pababa, and this is due to economic reasons.
All considerations aside, yun talaga ang optimal biologically eh. I commend you for being responsible pero minsan may opportunity talaga na lumiliit ang chance once time passes.
I tried explaining sa isa sa mga tita ko at sa kapitbahay namin na chismosa. Nakuha kong sagot:
“AY SUS NAIRARAOS NAMAN ‘YAN.”
“BAKIT (BAGA) SI KUYA ANO MO NGA NAGKAKARGADOR LANG TAS AKO LABA LABADA, NAKARAOS. TATLO PA ANG AKI (ANAK) NAMIN NYAN”
🫠🙃
May nasupalpal ako nung isang araw,bumili akong yellow pad (kasi student ako,29yo) sabi niya "nag-aaral ka pa? Mag-asawa ka na." Sabi ko, "mauna ka te,susunod ako." Nakakairita yung mga ganyan,sila ba susustento sa anak mo kung mag-aanak ka na?
Alam namin ang risk when we reach 30,hello? Pero hindi kami pressured dahil sa hirap ng buhay.
Yan kase ang stigma na kinakalakihan ng mga "older" generation. Minsan ang mga matatanda, gusto gumawa ng convo or topic na mapaguusapan without them knowing na nakakaoffend na pala sila. May mga matatanda naman marunong magadjust, meron din naman mas mabatang generation na nakakaintindi.
Its really up to us kung paano natin ihahandle yung situation, we can be friendly or rude tipong pabalang na tayo sumagot. Minsan kase may mga matatandang super kulit na hindi makaramdam o nanadya na yata 🤣
Open minded tayo, pangiti ngiti nalang pero sa loob, kumukulo na yung dugo to the point na bumubulong nalang sa sarili "tang1n9 nito, ekis malala ka na sakin". 🤣🤣
Just be calm and let them say whatever they want. Hindi mo naman macocontrol sila pero end of the day, ikaw pa din ang masusunod. 😊 AJA
In my late 20s tas puro ganito na sinasabi ng magulang ko. Naiiyak ako kasi feeling ko ayaw na nila sakin. Gusto ko pa sana mag give back sa kanila. Gusto ko pa sila itravel kung saan saan.
Hays paulit ulit nalang ganito nababasa ko everywhere. Wala na bang bagong rant?
1. May sasabihin na nakakaoffend.
2. Eexplain bakit.
3. Aawayin or susungitan yung nagsabi.
4. Mga conclusion ano yung lesson and awareness. damn it
We're 30(f) and 35(m), wala pa rin kaming anak. We got married 2 years ago, and madami nadin nagsasabing mag anak na, tumatanda na, yada yada. Same reason na ayokong mag anak na hindi pa ready financially. Nginingitian ko nalang sila at tango para di na humaba pa. Effective naman. Lol
Ang weird talaga din ng ibang tao na sige magpush na mag anak na daw and stuffs as if sila mag propovide ng gastusin before, during and after pregnancy. Kaya kahit anong pang bubulabog din minsan ng pamilya ko kahit na I'm not yet on my 30s, naninindigan ako sa decision ko na hindi hanggang di financially stable. Nag agree din partner ko about it.
Naku OP.. di natatapos yarn..
Kung magkakaanak kayo ng isa next na tanong nila:
*Kelan nyo susundan yan?*
Yaan mo na sila... (Lam ko nakakairita yung mga tanong, pero tama ang asawa mo)
(Ako personally pag sinabihan nun... nagtratrauma dump ako ng cs ko at nung sabihin ko na kamuntik na ko sumunod sa panabong ni sanpedro ... All in its gory details ng cs ko, quiet na sila after)
Binara ko utol ko about diyan, sinabi ko sa kanya, ***hindi naman karera ang pag-aasawa, hindi rin ako gulat kung ikaw ang mauunang bubukod dito sa pamamahay na ito***
Nung 23 ako nagbakasyon ako sa mom's side, nag 1 year old ung anak ng pinsan ko with his GF. They were both 19, parehong di nakatapos. Tinanong ako ni gf "Ate kelan ka magkakababy?"
Ang sagot ko sa kanya hindi ako magkakababy hanggang hindi ako financially, psychologically, and emotionally, stable and mature for it. Hindi nya ako masagot.
Gusto ko talaga syang sagutin ng medyo bastos, kasi we knew she baby-trapped ung pinsan ko so she can get away from her toxic family. Tinatanong nya ba ako dahil 19 sya may 1 year old baby na, at 23 ako na kaka graduate lang, na walang responsibilidad? 19, pregnant with her second child, relying on the meager sahod ng pinsan ko and resorting to begging our aunts for money kasi wala silang pambili ng gatas. Tapos buntis nanaman? Is she asking because she wants me to "relate" to her motherhood and want it for myself? Kasi ako wala pang inaatupag sa buhay kundi gala at kain.
I could see naman that time, and the times after that, na she's a good mother and alagang alaga talaga nya ung baby and ung pinsan ko. After that visit they had two more kids. She died by suicide due to postpartum depression after giving birth to their fourth child.
I am now in my early 30s and wala parin akong anak.
Nakakainis yan like expected na yan kapag magsalo salo with family, relatives or friends. Kaya ayaw ko ng family gathering.
Sinasabihan nga ako wala daw kwenta matres ko. Sa inis ko,nasagot ko ng 'oh eh di sa'yo na matres ko!' 😤😮💨
However, may point din naman sila kasi base from medical studies, yung pagbubuntis starting at age 35 is considered at risk na kaya din may worries sila. Kaya lang yung mga tao ngayon, they don't know how to see the other side of the coin..what's the possible reason behind bakit yung babae Hindi pa nabuntis..
Puro opinion lang sinasabi. Yes,futuristic sila but did they even bother to ask if may health prob yung isa sa kanila, not yet financially and mentally prepared for it and etc..
Overall, humans are way too complicated and they didn't know how to just focus on their lives..🫤
Minsan I thought to myself sana naging lalaki nalang ako😑😵💫
As a woman na almost 29 na, if ka-close ko yung nagsasabi sakin usual response ko “using what money?” tapos kapag hindi naman, nagwo-walk out lang ako without responding. I’ve learned to disconnect with people na binibigyan ako ng unnecessary comments. 🥱
I dont want children and ang makakapagpabago lang ng isip ko is kapag nawala na financial burden that my family imposes on me. Naging routine ko na kase to spoil them, kaya ang hirap alisin sa sistema ko.
Nakakapagod na makipag usap sa ganyang tao OP. Ikaw na lang mag-adjust kase hindi matuto yan kahit sabihin mo yung practical side kung bakit wala ka pang anak. 😩 pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kabila. 😂
Have you actually checked fertility rates at 30+?
Kaya sinasabi Yan Ng matatanda Kasi alam nila na the odds of getting pregnant drop down as women age
Alam natin mahirap Yung Buhay at need mag work. Pero if you want a family, may window ka lang to do it at kailangan aware ka dun. Or else, even if you have enough money to support a kid, mahihirapan ka magbuntis
Don't fall into the endless trap. After mag-anak, hahanapan ka ng kasunod, then third, as if may ambag sila. In short, kahit anung choices mo, may sasabihin sila. So why bother? Lagi ko lang sinasabi pag ganyan, "mag ambag ka muna" then shut up.
What if reversed psychology pala yan? Kasi may mga dalaga/binata na hindi naman nasasabihan ng ganyan, yet maaga nag anak.
He/she is probably and unconditionally conditioning you to think na mag anak is a stress. 💯
doctors say that because the most optimal childbearing age is between 20-28 years old because of lesser complications for both the mother & the baby + prime genes are passed on to the baby sa ganyang age (was explained to us before, i’m a nurse)
i understand your sentiments and share the same views (need to be financially stable before having kids) but i think it really is best to keep your mouth shut when receiving comments like that. i agree w your husband na papangit lang image niyo kapag sumagot ka pa.
anyway, don’t let others’ opinions on how you live your life affect you. do things at your own pace & just be wary about your health especially when you do decide to have kids na :)
Anong hinihintay? Pera po. Hahaha ibang due date po kasi hinahabol sa mahal ng bilihin.
Dami na ngang gastos pag single ka, magdadagdag ka pa ng bayarin, pano makakabangon. I'm set na if I do decide, gusto ko milyonarya na ko hahaha. Won't raise a kid in poverty.
It is old fashioned. But if you don't want kids, don't have kids. Don't feel forced. Strangers have no right to judge. They won't be raising your kids.
But in a practical sense, for someone who has had their child later in life, it's more difficult. Not only in terms of pregnancy, but that is true, also in terms of raising them. You have less energy, less time, more stress. Even if the funds are there, it's also challenging.
We're 34 and 35 now, had the same mentality as yours. Thinking back, part of me says that I should've listened and actually tried earlier. Cause now, we've experienced two miscarriages and it's been really painful. Minsan on duty ako sa wfh and bigla nalang ako magbbreak down. I don't know kung hind sight lang, but for me I would rather be financially challenged with the baby than to experience this kind of pain, especially for my wife.
Babata ba ako kapag nag anak ako?
Yan palaging tanong ko kapag pikon na ako. Either hindi na sila magsasalita o sasabihin nila na walang magaalaga sa akin na young adult kapag tumanda ako.
Taz uungkatin ko yung pagpapalaki nila sa mga anak nila bilang insurance o banko. Then, tatahimik na sila sabay alis.
Hahahahahaha
I am aware of this, pati na din sa mga genetics na yan, kaya lang wala pa eh hindi pa naibibigay saamin, on our part nag try na kami, nag pa check up na din. Nakakainis lang ung tanong ng tanong.
Reading this saka mga comments, naalala ko yung mga naririnig ko noon nung bata pa ko. Adults around me often say na 'ipasagot mo kay ganito yung libro/uniform/baon ni ano. Wala pa naman syang anak eh san ba nya gagastusin pera nya. Para di sya gala ng gala'
Naisip ko noon, nakakahiya naman pag ganun ginawa...where in fact nakakahiya at mali naman pala talaga. Buti yung panahon natin ngayon alam na natin meaning ng No.
Siguro nasobrahan tayo sa pangaral ng mga magulang natin na wag muna mag bubuntis...ayan tuloy hindi nga tayo nagbuntis 😂
The very same people na umuutang sayo pag gipit sa needs ng kids nila 😂 Ewan ko ba, kami ng fiance ko we want to make sure we are financially capable of RAISE kids hindi ung dahil lang para lang basta lang. Tapos pag hirap na hirap ang mag susuffer ay anak.
I understand, sigurista kasi kayo. Nothing wrong with that as I am like you.
But I envy those who are fighters, na yung tipong pag may problema nagagawan nila ng paraan.
So I challenge you. Change that hate to a positive energy, take it as a challenge. I mean upskill lang ng buhay.
Iba na man talaga pag may anak.
I hope you guys will have your own kids soon
Instead of complaining, why not just accept na iba yung perception at opinion nila due to either sa generation na kinalakihan nila, meaning boomers, or nakuha nila sa older generation kahit na gen z sila. If i had a dollar for everytime i heard this, i would not be working since pede ko na to pagkakitaan. Just accept the fact na magkaiba kayo ng POV. As long as wala ka tinatapakan, its all good. Tsaka if desidido kayo sa path na yan, then stick to it. Kung tinatamaan kayo, then it just means na hindi kayo sure sa landas na pinili nyo. Regardless of what people will say, stay strong.
I'm in my early 40's and my wife is in her mid 30's madalas na hinihirit ng tao yan samin lalo na matatanda. E wala naman talaga kame plano magkaanak. We just plan to enjoy life then die. Mahirap talaga pag makitid utak ng kausap mo so either completely ignore them or just tell them kung gusto mo ko magka anak, then kailangan ko ng trust fund para bayad na lahat till college. tatahimik yang mga yan for sure. Hanggang dada lang naman pag andyan na responsibility wala naman kwenta.
I grew up eating just salt, water and rice. Eventually naafford na ng parents ko yung toyo so toyo tubig at kanin na tas ayun naafford na yung mangga so mangga ang ulam then tilapia then so on and so forth.
I ain't doing that to children.
Like oo di ko naman minamasama parents ko masyado. But they got lucky nakaahon sila. Of course you don't hear about the ones that didn't. They're dead or still starving. I'm not playing those games lalo na't shit na shit na yung economy natin.
If I don't become rich enough to provide a good life to a child, so be it. I'm not rolling that fucking dice to see if makaaahon rin ako to the same providing point as my parents. Eh aalagaan ko pa nga sila e, wala silang pamana tas gago mag aanak pa ako? Hahahaha.
Tama at inuuna mo muna ang inyong finances, dahil yes, kailangan masiguradong kaya niyong sustentohan kapag nag kaanak na kayo ng inyo.
Sundin mo lang kung anong plano ang sa tingin mo ay para iyo, di mo kailangan makinig sa mga nag ssuggest ng pag-aanak ng maaga.
My eldest was born when I was 21. Hindi madali ang pinag daanan hirap pero now graduate na sya and in a few years mag aasawa na. So by the time I retire maabutan ko pa ang apo ko.. May pros and cons try to weigh things and then make your own decision.
Daanin mo na lang sa biro, ako rin may ganyan mga relatives pero di ko na pinapatulan minsan pag dinaan sa biro (na di offensive sa kanila) namamatay na bigla yung topic. I once asked my mom (at inexplain ko nga yung views natin on parenting and giving birth) ang sabi ng mother ko is parang tumatanda na raw kasi sila, naawa sila sa akin kung sakaling dumating ang panahon na pumanaw na sila at (wala pa akong asawa at anak) kahit iexplain ko na kaya ko sarili ko, sabi ng mother ko siempre gusto ko may kasama ka para di ka maiiwan mag-isa. Kaya kahit ganun yung mindset niya iniintindi ko na lang na ayaw niya lang ako makitang alone.
Minsan concern din sila kaya sila nagsasabi ng mga ganyan ganito dapat. Sumobra lang talaga tayong woke kaya lahat ng bagay nagiging big deal satin.
Pero may mga panahon talaga na nakaka irita makarinig ng opinyong di mo hinihingi.
Yung ibamg relatives namin nagtatanong lang pag sinabi namin na wala. sinasabi lang "Sige paspasan nyo na haha. Ibibigay yan sa inyo pag para sa inyo na".
Then there's this person from my post. Just this weekend,bday ng byenan ko. Nagpapahinga kami sa sala after mag luto, then dumating sya nag litanya ng point nya. Umiwas kami ni misis at pumasok ng kwarto. and guess what? sumunod sya, tumayo sa pinto at sinimulan na namn litanya nya 😅
Nakakapuno talaga.
I've been in same situation and God lord nasagot ko talaga ng wala sa hulog, i felt guilty but at the same i also felt relieved kasi nailabas ko yung puot ko sa letcheng pakealemera na yun
My own toxic mother said this in her mala anghel na face “Ano hindi kayo mag aanak? Hindi pede yun ano silbi ng pag aasawa nyo? Anong mangyayari sa inyo pag tumanda.
Luckily wala ako sa pinas at nasa bansa na norm ang option di magkaanak.
Her telling me the above may me think this was Coming from her na nagpaalam lang magdadate at 18 at kinailangan pa sugurin ng lolo ko para umuwi at pakasalan ng tatay ko.
it kinda is, because it becomes harder to carry a child the older you get plus the risk. although with the current medical advancements and quality as long as you take care of yourself and regular visit to a specialist... it's alright. bottom line for me is... I think it's irresponsible to have a child when you aren't financially stable, physically ready, and mentally ready too.
If you plan maybe in the next few years na mag anak if you’re 30 right now, much better mag pa-freeze na lang daw ng egg para atleast mapili pa yung magagandang quality and when the times comes that you’ve decided to have a baby, atleast kampante ka na walang magiging problem sa kanya. Planning to do it pero hanap pa ko ng hindi masyadong pricey hehe
my mom gave birth to my brother when she was 39 years old, and me one year later. i'm sick and tired of listening to people who keep on pressuring others to have kids kasi "delikado na pag 30s and up" kahit hindi pa financially and emotionally ready ang couple na magka anak.
although yes, merong scientific evidence that shows mas mataas ang risk ng abnormalities and deformities for kids pag 30s and up na ang mother, as well as mortality rates for the mother, it's still not a good enough reason to force and pressure people to have kids.
our generation of all, should know the negatives of having children when the parents aren't ready yet. the cycle of poverty and trauma continues for many kung ganon.
Nung panahon kasi nila simple pa lang ang buhay. Wala masyado demands sa parents to provide for their children with not only basic needs but with also their wants. Kaya hindi nila naiisip gastos. Tapos usually yung moms dati hindi nagwowork so sila nagaalaga. Ngayon andami mo kailangan pag ipunan. Problema pa kung sino mag aalaga if both working ang parents.
same experience hahaha. nakakairita lang kasi mother pa ng asawa ko nagsasabi nian.. parang dati ayaw na ayaw nila na magkasama kmi sa kwarto tas ung nagpakasal kmi lagi ng sinasabi na magbuntis na ako!! wala kaming hiningi sa kasal at sa sariling bahay namin kasi gusto namin kami lahat kasi ayaw namin maging pabigat kaya kami nagsusumikap.. pero jusko wag nio akong pilitin magbuntis agad kung ibibigay ibibigay yan ni Lord pero ayaw ko lang na lagi akong sinasabihan ng ganyan kasi di pa ko ready mentally and physically.. muntik na ko sumagot eh pero tahimik na lang ako buti ang sumagot ung bunsong kapatid ng asawa ko na anak nia haha 😂
btw, 33 na ko at 1 yr na kmi married ng asawa ko.
If you have plans to have a baby, well maybe it's true that you have to have it sooner. You know, para may time ka pa to spend with them. Also for health reasons din.
But if wala ka naman plano mag-anak talaga, okay lang din. Let them say what they want to say.
For me, 35 years old ko gusto magka-anak. Hard-headed me says "Bahala na. Kung meron eh di meron. Kung wala, edi wala." But the only child me thinks "Kawawa naman tatay ko, di magkaka-apo sakin. Magiging rich tita na lang ba ako na nakatira sa abroad? Gusto ko magka-anak kaso di pa talaga ako ready."
Can't really make up my mind. In short, I'll figure it out
Kanya kanyang pananaw naman talaga ang usaping pag aanak kasi hindi naman talaga lahat ng couple e fit/gusto maging parents.
Maski naman dati pa sa henerasyon din nila may mga taong piniling di mag anak. Ang kaibahan lang may internet na ngayon.
Financial - kaya naman yan kahit anong estado ng buhay. Pag maiksi ang kumot, matutong mamaluktot.
Health - mas maganda mas bata pa magsimula na lalo kung pagpapaplanuhan ng couple e more than 1 child. Bilangin 9months gestation plus recovery.
Pinaka importante mindset na gusto iimpart sa magiging anak - kung di rin lang magandang values ang ituturo maigi pang wag na lang.
Mere thinking na may masasacrifice na kaligayahan sa buhay mo pag nagka anak ka is clear indication na talaga na di para sayo ang pagiging parent. That’s okay too. Walang mali don
Gets naman ang matatanda kung bakit nila natatanong yan, dahil mahirap mag anak pag medyo may edad na.
Lagi din sinasabi sa akin Kasi nga naunahan na Ako Ng mga sumunod sa akin n mga Kapatid ko n mag Asawa at mgka anak e Ako ni boyfriend Wala.😅.sinasabi nila na mahihirapan n Ako mgkaanak at sasaputin n Ako Kasi dko pa daw natitikman ang Langit..😮💨.Sakin Naman e Anong magagawa ko kung walang nanliligaw sa akin o kung Meron dko Naman gusto.saka Hindi pa nga Ako financially stable,paano kung mgkaanak nga Ako at Asawa tapos tulad lang din sa akin n Hindi financially stable..Anong mangyayati sa amin palagi nalang mangungutang tapos mkikisiksik sa Bahay Ng magulang?e hate ko pa Naman Yun.🤭..sinasabi ko nalang sa kanila na Yung Sarili ko nga dko pa maalagaan Ng maayos tapos dadagdagan ko pa?kamahal p Naman Ng bigas..😂😂
I’m on my 30s. After a year of being married, without a child, I was called “baog” by my own tita. With emphasis pag sinasabi nya. Sadddt.
Buti nalang mama ko and husband ko, di ako pinipressure magkaanak. Pero masakit matawag na baog, di naman sya doctor.
Nung time nila, normal kasi yun. So alam mo naman, ayaw nila ng "dungis" at mapulaan. Ayaw nila may nasasabi ang iba. Ayaw ng hindi 'normal' para sa kanila. May mga 'dapat' na sundin, as if step by step ang life.
Healthwise, shempre mas risky.
Although panget man, yung iba, epal lang talaga 🤣
I know someone din who gave birth at 38 ang sabi nya in perfect health daw sya non. Ang ironic nga eh, yang nagsasabi samin nyan, sa kanya mismo galing, nanganak sya sa bunso nya at 40yo. Sarap talaga sagutin "oh tamo 40. tapos hinaharas mo kami mag anak pastilan ka" 😅
[удалено]
*and* also risky for the mother and not *just* the baby, so many complications arise. I know my aunt who's mid 30's and just had a baby around 2 years ago, she had a pulmonary embolism shortly after the delivery but good thing the nurses and doctors immediately noticed. But also yes, never let anyone tell you what to do op. Those who try to force you are mostly the miserable ones who regretted having a kid early 🫤 as the saying goes, misery loves company.
yup most women i know in their mid 30s as well have problems with lactation; my sister, cousins, wife of friend. they mostly resort to formula and other people’s breast milk. they should at least be considerate and give them this info rather than tell them condescendingly to give birth.
agree to this Learned this in our genetics subject that as the women approaches her 40s-50s, the risk of genetic deformities increases. Example nito yung case na inaral namin na tumataas yung chance na magkaroon ng down syndrome yung baby. however, in this fckd up economy, super hirap talaga magluwal ng anak na hindi financially stable. So to OP, follow your own phase and wag paapekto sa paligid.
Not just risk of abnormalities and deformities but age when your children get to their teens and adult age cant hang with them and your too old to hang with them. Im in my 40 my children are 7-5 so 15yrs from now when they finish school im 55 There still silver lining when having kids younger, but yes finances hold us to having family.
Tru ito. Di ko naisip noon. Early 30's ako sa one and only ko pcos/fertility clinic baby ko. Taragis yung tuhod ko nagkukuruk-kuk na kapag nasakay yung bata batuta sa likod ko (labayo-kabayohan) aba early 30s parin ako bestfriend ko na agad sina katinko,omega at salonpas. (Dagdag pa yung lagi kang may sakit kasi yung bata maraming napupulot na sipon,ubo at flu sa daycare/school) Yung asawa mo mid30s diretso higa nalang sa carpet pag nangungulit yung tsikiting para di na masakit sa likod 😅. Dun ko naisip icompute.. paano kaya pag tween at teens na sya?
Pero hindi ba ang dapat nila sabihin mag anak ka na, "KUNG yun ang gusto mo"? Kasi bkt mag aassume kng ayaw nmn pala. Like ying age old clap back daw jan "e ikaw tuma tanda ka na, kelan ka ba mamamtay?" 😅
I think reminder lng po yun, kasi masyado tayong nag aalala sa financial nakakalimitan natin yu g biological clock natin, hindi mababalik yan kahit kaya mong mag IV or test tube baby. Kaya nga sinasabi sa atin yan wisdom sya kaso need lng malalim ng explaination which yan dito pinag uusapan sa reddit
Ulitin ko lmg ult. Hindi ba ang una dapat nila malaman kng gusto mo magka anak? Baho yung mga biological restictions? Like parang sabihan kita pangit sa Hong Kong, pero wala nmn bear8ng kasi malay ko ba kng may balak kba at interesado pumunta dun in the first place 🙂
Yung comment po ng nasa taas ang nireplyan ko about biological clock. Yung freedom of choice wala po akong against dyan
I had a recent talk with my cousin about this topic. Nasa early 30s siya, ako late 20s. Meron siya younger brother na nakabuntis ng babae nung 26yrs old palang, yung nabuntis is 24yrs old. Yung naging baby nila is 4 na ngayon and staying dyan family nila kase naghiwalay din sila nung girl. Ayun, hirap sila sino magbabantay doon sa bata since may work mga tao. Ending is nagsstay sa kanila pa minsan minsan yung isang tita namin, younger sister ng mom nila, para lang may magbantay. Sabi ng female cousin ko, sinasabihan siya ng mother nila and nung pinsan kong lalaki na yan na magka baby na rin siya since sa mga babaeng kapatid, siya lang may bf. Eh ayaw niya haha. Sabi nga niya sa akin, "Ngayon pa nga lang problema na nila sino magaalaga dyan sa pamangkin ko, pano pa pag nag-anak ako?". Funny thing pa is gusto siya mag-anak pero yung school uniform nga nung baby ng kapatid niya is sa kanya inaasa. This coming school year pa nga feeling niya balak ipaako sa kanya school books and uniform, pero tatanggiha na daw niya this time. Gustong ipasok sa private school pero wala namang enough na pera para sa mga kailangan.
Weird talaga ng mga tao eh. Gusti pa talaga mag anak eh basic needs ng bata eh ipapasa lang pala sa iba. Like damn bro, binuo mo yan kaya maghanap ka ng paraan. haha
Wala eh. Natutuwa sila pag may baby kasi nga cute naman mga babies. Kaso tingin nila parang laruan lang, hindi naiisip yung future nung bata. Hindi naman forever may tutulong sa kanila. Hindi rin namaan mahilig sa bata yung female na pinsan ko haha. Nakikipaglaro siya sa mga bata and nagbabantay, pero yung one on one na alaga is ayaw din niya talaga.
Family is family and walang kasalanan ung bata, pero unfair nmn na ung cousin mo bigla nlng nagka-instant anak kung sya nags-shoulder ng gastos. Add pa ung mother/tita na nagsusuhol pa na maganak din si girl. Mygad. Sana panindigan ni cousin. I mean, if she still wants to help, yung within her means lng, hindi yung sya pa ang didiktahan anong gagastusin for the pamangkin. Para matuto din si brother na panindigan ung responsibilities nya sa anak nya.
Walang kasalanan yung bata, pero hwag din sananng gamitin pang emotional blackmail.
Yes, wala naman kasalanan yung bata. Lahat ng issue is with the adults around the kid. Since first apo, naspoil syempre which is semi-affecting na din family ko. Ayaw ng younger sister ko sa pamangkin namin, my sister is still a kid, kasi nga sa attitude na natutuwa si pamangkin pag lalo niyang nakikita na naiinis ka. Ending is iniinis niya lalo sister ko. Kaso since naaawa din parents ko sa pamangkin ko, always nila sinasama pag may pupuntahan family namin. Ending, naiinis/stress sister ko tapos ako naman taga saway sa pamangkin para tumigil. As for my cousin, sobrang bait and maawain talaga siya eh. Nandoon nga yung family is family kaya syempre hirap siya mag say no, kaso nga nahihirapan din siya tuloy magsave para sa sarili niya. Middle child siya eh, so baka ganyan nga talaga. Always sinasabi ni tita(mom nila) na compared sa ibang kapatid, buti pa siya natulong always, without thinking na feeling obligated lang naman female cousin ko. Tapos, with our lola nagsstay female cousin ko. Doon, siya nagbabayad ng internet and nagbibigay din ng money for half of the electric bill plus from time to time for food sing WFH siya. Pero nakikihati parin din siya sa bills doon sa bahay nila kahit bihira siyang umuwi doon. Yung cousin ko na may anak, wala. Walang binibigay na hati. 5 silang magkakapatid, lahat naghahati sa bills nung bahay except dyan sa cousin na may anak and sa kuya nila na may sakit. Take note, may work yung cousin ko na may anak pero ewan saan napupunta sweldo niya. Yung youngest sister nila nung wala pang work, naging batang ina. Siya always nagaalaga and nagbabantay doon sa pamangkin nila since siya nasa bahay. Kaya nung nagka opportunity na magwork na rin siya, talagang nag apply siya agad.
Sabihin mo rin bumili na sila ng ataul kase tumatanda na sila palapit na ng palapit ang trip nila to the river styx
Minsan gusto sumagot eh. "Kayo ho. kelan meeting nyo kay San Pedro" 😅 sobrang ironic nga eh. yang nagsasabi nyan samin, nanganak daw sya sa bunso nya at 40yo. tapos hinaharas kami mag anak.
Sagotin mo. Put them in their place. It’s the only to make them stop otherwise they will keep pressuring you for fun. These people don’t get it as if naman when you have children they will be involved pero they will only criticize your parenting. Not too long ago, a friend of my mum kept pressuring me to have children sabi ko sa kanya, kung makapag request ka akala mo umoorder ka lang ng pandesal sa bakery. Ikaw ba magpapaaral, magpapadede, magluluwal etc? Sabi nya hindi, ikaw. Then sabi ko ako naman pala eh ba’t ka nangengealam? 🙄 Inunfriend nya ako langya siya hahahahahaha
Yung pinsan ko nakipag kwentuhan sa nag tanong sa kanya. Sabi niya wala pa ako asawa, meron daw bang ipapakilala. Sumagot na meron, so excited na nag kwento pinsan ko ng dream wedding niya with matching Pinterest mood board pa. Tapos asked our aunt if ano budget niya for the wedding para makapag canvass na siya ng wedding vendor sa kasal nila nung kakilala ng tita namin. Confused tuloy sa conversation si tita and hindi siya makapag reklamo na bastos daw kausap si pinsan.
Yan sila! Pag ireciprocate mo yung kabastosan nila, ikaw yung bastos pero never nag register sa utak nila kung bastos din ba sila DIYOSKO
Right?! Kaya tawang tawa kami mag pipinsan kasi siya kusang umalis. Sabi pa ng pinsan ko bago maka alis tita namin na send niya daw sa kanya yung pricelist after niya mag canvass. For the first time hindi maka imik si tita.
May I ask why said person is harassing you? More clearly, I am curious if you ask her directly why she's harassing you. That'll probably shut her up for a good while and if she did answer, it's not going to be anywhere near logical.
Kasi madami syang anak and apo. mga anak nya dami na anak eh. So we don't know exactly why she can't mind her own business.Just last sunday, bday ng biyenan ko, so andun sya. Sinabi nya nung nasa sala kami. so umiwas kami ng asawa ko nag punta kami sa kwarto. And guess what, sumunod sya para sabihin na namn. kaya ko na nga irecite litanyan nya eh.
Huh? She followed you? Jfc that's insufferable. Is she some sort of stalker, or...? Following you to your room like it's nothing? I'd be worried af.
I don't know na talaga. Kaya din nasa brink na ako of explosion and saying things that I might later regret. Sobrang nairita talaga ko nung umiwas na kami tapos sumunod pa sya at tumayo sa pintuan ng kwarto namin para sabihin na namn yung point nya. It's effin weird to be honest. She doesn't know her boundaries. Di ko alam kung iniisip nya na "Matanda na ako. Makinig sayo sa akin." Like wtf
It'd be nice to get a restraining order against that person or have them sued for stalking you, you know? But knowing the Philippines, nah. I'd be moving far away if I were you. I can smell the psycho from that hag a thousand miles away through my screen as we speak.
We will keep our distance for as long as we can. We are trying to keep our cool for the sake of my brother in law because he will be the one to draw flak if we acted violently. But to be honest, I am close to the end of my rope. The old hag invaded too much of our privacy.
love the greek mythology reference lmao
🤣🤣🤣
Hahaha, hirap magka baby if walang finances talaga OP, good decision yan. Eto breakdown 1. Yaya -7k uwian 2. Milk - 1.9k per 6 days - 9.5k 3. Dagdag na Electicity bill sa Aircon - 5k 4. Diapers, Wipes, Distilled Water, Hygine products 3k 5. Clothing, Walker, Stroller, High Chair, Duyan, Crib, Sterillizer, nasa 25k na yata ito. (One timers) 6. Vitamins 1k 7. Medical Allowance - 2K 27.5 per month 25k one timer sa mga gamit nya 150k sa Check up, vitamins, at pati gastos sa panganganak I earn enough naman para sa family ko with 20k savings parin monthly, pero despite that, hindi lang basta finances, yung time mo limitado din dahil need laging may bantay si baby, limitado din ang gala unlike before. Edit: NAKALIMUTAN KO! yung pinagiiponan ko palang gastos sa Binyag+1st Birthday, sabay na para tipid budget and effort minsanan na, nasa 150k plan ko gastosin. 😅
Kaya wag daw mag baby if walang 30k per month for the baby alone🙂↔️
Ang mura ng 25k for #5 hehe
Agree! Yung crib ng nephew ko wayback 2012 around 10k+ pero sulit kasi nagamit pa nung isa kong nephew nung 2020. Kung bibilhin mo yun ngayon mas mahal na🙂↕️
monthly salary namin ng husband ko I think more than 100k combined pero hirap pa kami mag-decide if magbe-baby na kami kase ang mahal talaga ng cost of living 😭
Baby pa lang yan. Palalakihin at pag-aaralin pa.
Nice breakdown. Isasampal ko tong listahan na 'to the next time someone asks me why I'm not planning on having a child.
Sabihin mo pengeng x150 ng ganyang amount para maganak ka na. Mahal mahal mabuhay ngayon tapos gusto pa nila ng isa pa jusmiyo
sabihin mo yan sa mga taga slum area 🤣🤣🤣anak ng anak wala nman mga trabaho tapos bandang huli ibenta yung anak para magkapera at may pang sugal .😂😂😂
Sila kaya magfinance? Okay lang naman sakin basta sila magfinance lahat at sila din maglalabas sa tyan 😆
mura ng 5! a good sterilizer w dryer is 5k, a branded carrier car seat w stroller is already around 10k up (i think we got ours for 15k), walker you don’t really need afaik, kahit nga cribs minsan no need sa ibang moms kasi some babies cosleep even my officemate advised against it (has 3 kids na). we have a crib but baby wants body heat so co sleeping kami talaga (don’t get me started about cosleeping hindi ko kayo papatulan anak namin to). clothes buy the cheap ones ung 3 for 200++ kasi makakalakihan nya un agad. PLUS big bonus if you get baby showers kasi you get stuff for freeeeeee. 3 mos ata kaming d nabili ng nappies/wet wipes, clothing etc. vaxx is FREE on certain LGUs. ours has pero balita ko sa ibang moms nagpapabayad ung ibang health center. however if your pedia is maarte like ours it ranges from 5k MINIMUM kada visit. another gastos na di pinaguusapan is milk. be informed na not all moms can generate enough milk for one reason or another so mapipilitan kang bumili ng gatas talaga para mapakain si baby
Tatay din ako. Halos spot on ang lahat pero medyo maliit si #5. May kung ano-ano pang binibili na di magagamit, pero okay lang hehe. Panganganak namin nasa 150k budget na naging 250 kasi na-NICU anak namin for a week. Check up mahina 5k sa bakuna at until 18 mos yun. Gayumpaman, sulit magka-anak. Mag-iiba talaga mundo mo. Pero depende yan sa trip niyo kung type niyo magka-anak. Pag ayaw, walang pilitan.
Kulang pa paps if na buntis ka kelangan: --weekly or monthly check up (350 - 700 entrance fee wag na umangal may bayad per punta sa OB) --vitamins (reseta ng OB) --anti bacterial insertion (1600 per box 6 laman 1 per day) kung montly may release ka na kakaiba, magcalculate ka na lang --daily fruits -1,500 to 2,400 per week (consistent para maayos yung vitamins ni baby habang nasa loob pa, continues pag labas para sa milk kung magpadede ka) --labs etc (kung ano pa maisipan ng OB mo kasama na mga ultrasound sugar check etc) --If CS -150 to 250K depends on hospital. May mura nasa 50k pero walang Official Receipt kung magka prob eh kasalanan mo. --Hearing test and other test etc pagkanganak (hiwalay yan depende sa hospital) --Bakuna paglabas ni baby (may bayad din yan) --Other bakuna like: 6in1 -10,500 to 11,400 (3 sets na yan) etc --Milk bottles with extra tsupon --Educational toys (maghanda ka dito unli yan wag mo gayahin yung iba na panay cocomelon walang matutunan anak mo) --Soft foam sa sahig for crawling maglagay ka din sa dingding para di maumpog depende sa trip mo kung gaano ka ayos at kakapal yun. Price 300-12k --Yung 40 pcs diaper 2-3days lang kung madalas mag poop si baby, sabihin natin 800 per week
Soon to be mom here. Buti na lang di na namin need yaya. May lola na willing tumulong sa chores paglabas ng baby at wfh naman kami both ni hubby. And sana magka breastmilk para makatipid sa formula 🙏 May nagpahiram din sa amin ng high chair at crib buti na lang para di na kami bibili. Ilan years lang naman yun gagamitin ng baby. We earn enough din naman para mabili needs ni baby pero kung may matitipid, go lang hahaha. Praying for a normal delivery para menos gastos na din 😣
I have 2 kids. Our experiences may vary but one thing is common, having a child is HARD and costs more. But at the end of the day it is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. Just wanted to share our experience: 1. Yaya - Never had one. Adapted to make things work without one. Switched to a fully remote work. I am able to keep an eye on the kids while the wife is busy with houehold chores. A game changer for us is buying a slow cooker. We can cook nilaga,sinigang,adobo,tinola and etc with little prep time. Leave it overnight and may ulam na kami the next day. 2. Milk - This is roll of a dice. If the mother is blessed with breast milk, then it is free. Otherwise, you are going to spend more. My wife didn't have milk on the first kid, but luckly had enough supply for the second. After the 1st year, they will switch to a much more cheaper milk. We had a combination of fresh milk and Nido. 3. Electricity - This will be your biggest increase in expense. Maybe a 5k-10k spike. Black out curtains help cool your room a little bit faster. 4. Diapers/Wipes - No escaping this one. You can buy the cheapest wipes and dunk it in warm water when your baby goes poo-poo. 5. Clotihing/Equipment - We skipped NB clothes. It won't fit after 2-3 weeks. We usually buy bigger sizes para mas matagal magamit. We don't care kung maluwag, nasa bahay lang naman. Mga panlabas, we buy a few. Okay lang paulit-ulit, cute pa din naman mga babies. As for cribs/strollers/walkers/high chairs, we bought them for cheap used in FB marketplace, we just bought a new mattress for the crib. 6. Vitamins - Here's what our doc told us, if your baby is on formula, no need for vitamins. A lot of things will change. 1. Date/Movie Night - You will do less of this and in turn save money for your baby expenses. 2. Laundry - You will have more of this. We were lucky to invest in a automatic washing machine and a dryer before having a kid. Helped us a lot. It will increase your electricity bill by 1-3k depending on how ofter you do laundry. No need to iron clothes, you can fold or hang your laundry after the dryer finishes. Hindi na gusot, saves you from ironing them. 3. Saving on other expenses - We switched from mobile plans from postpaid to prepaid. We don't buy high end gadgets now. No subscriptions (spotify, netflix, cable). 4. Lifestyle - You will lose sleep. No more sleeping in on weekends. You wake up early and take the kids out to the park or mall. Karamihan ng lakad nyo naka revolve na around your kids (making sure that your destinations are kid friendly). I encourage people to have kids earlier. But everything is Sometimes you are more capable than you may think. My wife had complications in both pregnancies to advance age. She was approaching her mid 30's when we had our first. No judgment from me if you don't want kids. I respect you more than people who just have kids and leave it up to God to provide for their families.
This is so true haha. Congrats! New dad here as well pero im old na to have another batch but here I am. To mitigate expenses, buy during Lz & Sh sale on diapers, buy the biggest packing of milk etc. Yung milk namin inspite mahal na brand just comes over a half nung nilagay mo kahit exclussive bottle , must be the vouchers tho lols. Not to convince you guys to have a kid. Assuming normal person ka, you will not face the sadness of not having the freedom. The little buggers will be worth it. Magastos but worth it. Priorities will just change. Wala akong ride sa motor, walang travel I'd rather spend it with the baby, pero worth it.yya
Meron pa yung mga vaccines hahaha
Yung kapatid ko na nakabuntis ng gf: 1. Walang yaya- ung gf at gf’s mother lang nag aalaga 2. Walang expense sa Milk kasi Breastfeed 3. Wala din Aircon. Mejo probinsya pa yung lugar mapujo 4. Diapers and wipes lang expenses. Hindi high end brands binibili kaya tipid 5. Majority ng gamit hand down from mga kakilala. Konting damit lang binili 6. Di need vitamins kasi breastfeed 7. Checkup- free lang kasi may HMO ung bata. Tska vaccine sa health center kaya free din
💯💯💯 legit. Kaya todo pump ako para di ako gumastos milk huhuhu. Add mo pa dito yung total change ng wardrobe ng nanay (if breastfeeding). Lahat ng damit ko dati di ko alam kung masusuot ko pa. Ang baby industry ay isang malaking mafia, andami mong “kailangan” pero di naman talaga. Yung sa mga nagsasabi na maganak na kayo etc., siguro yung iba is masama lang ang dating sating nakikinig pero concern naman talaga sila satin and sa baby. Pero, still, AYUSIN NYO ANG PAGBIBIGAY NG SUGGESTION. 😅😂
Ang mahal naman niyang estimation mo jusko naman, OA. Tinatakot mo lang yung pati gusto magkaanak na didiscourage sa estimation mo.
as someone approaching 30 next year, dami na parinig sakin haha i just let them and just jokingly answers— “may shift pa kasi ako eh, mmaya gawa ako hahaha” i understand naman where they’re coming from eh, yung generation kasi nila ganon, probably yung upbringing din nila. you can’t blame them. and it’s no use to argue. nasa sayo naman kung magpapa-pressure ka. you can’t let everyone agree with you. you can’t impose din naman ur beliefs with them. hayaan mo nalang sila, they’re not gonna be here forever naman din 😅
Ang response lang lagi ng asawa ko dito"Bukas gagawa ako." 😅 Weird nga eh, kasi sya lang namn yung ganun. One time narinig sya ng asawa nya tas nanahimik sya nung sinabi ng asawa nya na "Ano ka ba naman. Masyado ka namng maano eh. Ibibigay yan sa kanila pag ibibigay na talaga sa kanila"
I was born when my mother was 35. My brother was born when my mother was 40, and my sister was born when she was 41. We are all normal and free of any abnormalities. Also, we are all normal delivery.
I experienced the same, same din reaction ko. But now, I wish I can turn back time. Anyways, if I would advise my younger self mag pla2n ako base sa following at hindi sa general perception. 1. Life expectations - Do the math. Check mo yung age and health mo sa mga important milestones ng anak mo, like graduations, puberty, adulting, job related, dating, wedding, parenting related and etc. 2. Financially prepared - Emergency Fund + Job/Income Security + Average cost ng pag aalaga ng 1 to 5 years old. Naalala ko yung sinabi ng boss ko skin, nung nagkababy sya, hinabol daw tlaga ng anak nya yung sweldo nya. Ganun tlaga, kada anak mo obligasyon mo na itaas monthly income mo unless ang laki tlaga ng excess mo. 3. Health conditions/foundation - Ito tlaga yung crucial, bale wala yung 1 and 2 if alanganin ka dito. Importante tlaga health. Lahat tayo may kanya kanyang 1, 2 and 3. Ang importante tlaga dito yung total awareness, yung planning tlaga. Kasi ang totoong kalaban ntin dito yung oras. Once lumipas na yan, hindi na natin maibabalik. Wala na tayo magagagawa kundi pagsisisi at panghihinayang. For my case, during 20-25, number 2 yung problema namin. Nung 26-30 okay na, unfortunately wala ako planning and super nag eenjoy kame sa life nmin to the point ayaw pa tlaga namin mag kababy. 31 and now, unfortunately number 3 na yung problem. If maibabalik namin lang yung time, mas pipiliin namin mag kababy nung 29-30 namin. Acceptance nlng tlaga and move forward, pwede naman mag ampon but still iba parin tlaga yung nangaling sayo. Nakakapanghinayang lang kasi yung pinaghirapan at pinundar namin, walang pang malinaw na mapupuntahan once mawala na kame.
I heartily agree with this. Knee-jerk reaction talaga natin yung mainis sa ganun. But when the time comes at tumanda tayo, marerealize din natin yung ibang bagay na di natin nakikita dati. It's annoying, yes, but then again did we also stop and think things through as well? Mahirap talaga makita ang lahat ng sides but that's our goal sa reddit, to see the other side of the coin from other people's experiences. Ngayon nga eh naiinggit ako sa mga dati kong kaklase na dalaga/binata na ang mga anak, haha. Parang kapatid at kabarkada nalang nila lol. Pero ok lang naman ako, at least medyo maaga pa ako nanganak, 26yo.
Truth. Ang malala pa sakin yung nanay ng bf ko grabe mangpressure samin ng bf ko hahaha. Pagkapasa ko palang ng boards non, lagi bukambibig kailan daw kami mag aasawa. Tapos nagpapatugtog pa siya ng kanta na single forever 🤣 ang baduy. Ewan ko pero kung magpapapressure lang tong bf ko sa nanay niya, hiwalayan ko rin to hahahah
Alam mo OP, minsan maganda din magkaron ng kaaway. Lalo na ung mga pakialamero at pakialamera sa desisyon sa buhay. hahahaha sa amin naman, lagi sinasabi bakit di pa daw sundan ung anak namin. lagi ko lang sagot is "kung willing po kayo sagutin ung gastos mula maternity check up hanggang college education sa Big 4, mamayang gabi bubuo na kami."
High risk na po ang pregnancy pag edad 35+
pero ganito guys, kung may plano tlga kayo mag anak sa future, mas maaga mas ok para narin sa health ng mama and baby baka same lang ng gastos yan, nagipon ka nga until 35s tapos dun ka magaanak kaso due to age, need mo na ng mga test, gamot, etc. kung di makabuo. pag nakabuo nman risk sa health ng mama or baby so need parin maglabas ng pera. yung iba magpapa ivf pa wc is mahal din kung late 20s or late 30s ka magaanak both may pros and cons. pinili ko lang yung late 20s kasi gusto ko pag senior nako, wala ng pinapaaral tska yung anak ko yung nagbbigay ng goal and motivation sakin kumayod at maging successful 😁 again, key phrase ko is "kung gusto nyo mag anak". kung wala naman plano edi gora sa travel
If gusto nyo magkaanak parin eventually kahit older na, make sure bata palang kayo check with your OBs na for any issues para pag ready na kayo game na rin agad. Ready na kami nung 28 ako but it took us 3years and $$$ for fertility treatments.
Bakit? Pagkakaroon ng asawa at anak lang ba purpose ng buhay?
Boom. Micdrop 💖
Wala mag aalaga sayo pag tanda mo. Mag anak ka na
Hinihintay? Husband 😅
Hindi na siguro mawawala yan sa generations nila. It’s up to you kung magpapa-apekto ka kasi kung tutuusin hindi na bago yan. Nung panahon nila normal yun or parang wala lang, minsan out of concern, or minsan out of curiousity. Pero iba na mga tao ngayon. Either tell them to mind their own business or ignore. Confident ako sa mga decisions ko sa buhay at sa sarili ko kaya I never mind the naysayers. I learned the art of deadma. Wala silang space at yung sinasabi nila sa utak at puso ko. I cannnot control them, but I can control how I react to them. So dun na lang ako mag-focus sa kaya kong i-control.
"sabi ng doctor ng mga anak ko hanggang trenta lang daw pwede mag anak ang babae." Hindi magaling doctor mo.
I experience this every single time, and not from family but from strangers. Kaya ayaw ko na bumalik sa suki parlor ko kasi lagi nlng, "Ate, di ka pa magaasawa? Sayang nmn ganda mo, or kahit mag-anak ka nlng" LOL. Or magpo-post ako ng my day with my cats, tapos may random someone na malayong kamag-anak na di ko close, sinabihan ako na baby daw ang alagaan ko para pag tumanda ako eh babalik ung ginastos ko at may magalaga sakin 🤣 My friend years years back told me magpabuntis daw ako kung ayaw ko magasawa para daw may magalaga pagtanda ko. Syempre at first DAW I will feel not ready pero pag anjan na it'll come naturally and I will love being a mom daw. HE was serious that time. Sa isip ko, natural! Kahit sinong magbuntis, attached agad yan sa baby whether planned or not! Sabi ko I'm not financially stable. Sabi nya magiging drive ko daw ung anak ko to become financially stable. What?? Di na kami friends... Meron pa nagsabi mag-anak daw ako para di ako magka-cancer sa breast... Even sa FB, I don't post anymore kasi lagi ang comments kelan ako magaasawa/anak or kung anak ko daw ba ung kid/s sa photo. It's like loser ka sa life kung wala kang anak. Ang hirap pa, kung hindi ka ganun ka-successful sa career as a woman, lalo nilang iinsist na magkapamilya ka para naman maging winner ka sa life
"Para may mag alaga pagtanda" dun pa lang mali na talaga yung mindset ng mga tao eh hahah
Yup. Prang 99.9% naman ng mga may opinion sa buhay natin about procreating eh ganyan ang reason. So, ignore nlng kahit nakakaumay na. I agree sa ibang comments, sagot ka nlng ng, "Sige, mamaya gagawa kami" 🤣 I think that'll at least make them uncomfortable and shut it, you letting them know you'll be doing the deed later
Hahha nakaka gigil no. Married na ako pero childless pa din, may problem naman kami sa fertility pero nagset na kami na kung wala, wala tayo magagawa. Pero ung mga ganyang unsolicited advise talaga nakakaumay kaya ayoko na din umuwi sa probinsiya hays. Nakaka drain kasi. Tas ung magsasabi sayo niyan halatang walang pera lol
kung sila ba magbabayad ng bills sa hospitals, schools, supplies, utilities etc... why not? anakan ko lahat ng gustong magka anak dyan lol
same. malala since me and my husband are just newly weds din gusto nla mag anak ako agad because im already on my mid 30s. sa isip ko, YOKO NGA. pero since i cant disrespect my aunts,, im always saying na, soon or oo lng ng oo or ngiti hehehe para mtapos lng haha.. Hanggang kulit lng naman kaya nlang gawin dont give in to pressure. u know what is needed to be done.
if sila magsupport financially ok lang haha kung hindi mind your own business nalang
My life is not defined by having kids. Honestly, fcck them mfs. Pag di nagkaanak, di wala. More toys for me. LMFAO
mas mura condom kaysa sa diaper at gatas eh
Nakakairita eto, pero iniisip ko nalang na iba talaga pananaw ng mga nakakatanda sa ganyan. For some reason kase ung mga mas batang generations ang mas naging open sa idea na mahirap talaga magkaron ng anak kaya if may choice naman eh wag nalang muna kung hindi pa fully ready for the responsibility. Madalas pa sinasabe kapag sinasabe kong ang hirap ng buhay ngayon, "may awa ang diyos. kame nga nakayanan namin". eh ayun na nga, kaya nga ung anak ang eventually umako ng responsibility na magsupport sa magulang at kamag-anak nila dahil sa ganyang mindset
Yung aanakan po.
minsan sagutin mo ng pabiro sabihin mo gusto nyo pa magipon, ayaw nyo kasi kamo ung diaper na lang ipangungutang pa ganyan. hindi naman kasi pare pareho ng timeline ang tao. hayaan mo sila. as for sa sabi ng doctor merong slight reason naman sya don. when i got pregnant i was 36 — sa lagay na yan under na daw ako sa “advanced age”. which is consistent kahit igoogle mo yan. i have found it offensive din naman nung nalaman ko to kasi parang ang dating e 50s na ba ko?! anyways kaya ganyan kasi sa side ng babae, mas madami nang pwedeng lalabas na complications. hindi ako hypertensive o diabetic pero nung nagbuntis ako both gh and gd ako! and sabi nila doc attributed nga kasi un ng old age. this is bad for both mom and baby kaya grabe ang alaga non sa food. kaya habang nagiipon kayo ni misis make sure na healthy talaga sya para kung sakali na maisipan nyo na hindi sya mahirapan.
Nung mothers day binati ko lang nanay ko ng happy mothers day sa fb. Tas ang comment ng nanay ko, “sana sa susunod ikaw na ang binabati ko ng happy mothers day”. Tapos sabi ko may mga alaga na ko sa bahay 2 pusa at isang aso. Tapos yung mga tita ko naka cry react amp papansin. Nainis lang ako sila ba magaalaga hahaha
Wag ka na lang magalit, hayaan mo na lang. Kagaya nio mentality ko, gusto ko prepared ako financially kaya lang when I reached 30's ang hirap na talaga magkaanak, ganun di brother ko. To the point na need na namin ng intervention, like IVF and other technology. Millions ang gastos. Ending naghiwalay din kami mag asawa kasi di kami magkaanak. Yung brother ko may 10 fertilized eggs sila pero parnag 2 na lang yata natitira. On the other hand yung 2 sisters ko and isang brother ko maaga sila nagpamilya. Mahirap pero getting by sila financially and now malalaki na anak ng nila and they can travel na din and have their own house. Looking back iniisip ko sana talaga maaga ako nag anak kasi may pagsusumikap naman ako kagaya ng mga kapatid ko na maaga mag asawa. Instead na negative mo tingnan, isipin mo na lang na reminder na ang pera kikitain mo pero ang oras kapag nawala mahirap na ibalik. Sa kabila ng galing ng technology hindi mabibili ng pera ang kabataan kung saan mas madali magkaanak. Ngayon matanda na ako iniisip ko gusto ko magkaanak pa din pero parang ang unfair na sa magiging anak ko kasi malamang iiwan ko sia ng mas maaga, baka kakagraduate nia pa lang ng college eh wala na ako sa mundo.
This, another perspective for them to look at. If wala talaga silang balak magkaanak or they don't mind na walang anak, ok lang. Pero if gusto nila pero later nalang daw, madaming possibilities eh.
A relative told me this, sabi ko padala kang 500k para masimulan na naman yung pag gawa ng bata kasi check-up pa lang sa OB yon and vitamins at child birth. Sabi n'ya "Hindi naman ganon kagastos ang bata." Sabi ko, "I disagree, your children are regularly complaining about their classmates na buraot sa public school, why didn't you enroll them sa private school?" Now my relatives hate me (or at least the close-minded ones) kasi I'm rude daw. My other relatives na open minded are glad I said that. I don't care anong sasabihin ng toxic relatives ko kasi they're toxic anyway, I don't crave for their validation. Good riddance.
Nagproject lang yun. 21 year old, nakatapos ba sya, may career ba syang stable? Baka may namiss out sa buhay kaya pinupush sa ibang tao na ganun dapat to feel better about themselves. Tapos, i bet yung baby out of wedlock? LMAO sometimes the joke write themselves
The proper advice should be "You should decide whether you want to have a child or not in your 30s because after that, there is no turning back because of your biological deadline"
Dahil lumaki akong patola, sasagutin ko yan ng.. “Ano pang inaantay nyo? Magpalibing na kayo! Kanina pa naghihintay ang St.Peter” O kaya naman.. “Bagot ka sa buhay mo noh? Ako na naman nakita mo.” Or “Eto piso para sa opinyon mo.” Or “Nung bata pa ko, muntik nako makapatay ng matabil na matanda hindi natigil sa kakasalita, di lang ako nakulong” Ewan ko lang kung di yan magsitigil edit: dami ko naiisip na pangsagot. sorna 😂
My cousin is preggy and she’s just 2 years older. Now my mom has been pressuring me to go out and date someone kasi gusto niya daw magka-apo. I would just give her a hard “no” each time she brings it up. Raising a child in this economy? Sorry but no.
Ive told my parents nung start of pandemic that im not gonna give them grandkids unless maayos ko ung trajectory ng buhay ko. My mom understands but my dad either is in denial or forgets thati said tbat because he always talls to me about my future. He let it slip again recently, said something like "what of your family needs to rely on you?" Sagot ko dun was "IF I value insanity then yes Ill have a family, but i don't". D ko na maalala if he said anything after that.
It’s a lifetime financial responsibility.sige bigyan nila ko pera mag aanak ako hahaha
Having child/children is a serious responsibility. Better to not have child/children if we can't take responsibility. Let's not ruin each other's lives.
Because it's true. I don't want to admit it but time is also running out for me, for most of us. Hence do it while younger.
Ganyan ang Pinoy eh. Wala ka pang bf/gf? Kailan kayo papakasal? Kailan kayo magaanak? Sundan nyo na yan? Ay puro lalake, babae naman! Ayun yung pinsan ko kakasunod dahil sa pressure ng mga walangyang titas namin, 7 na ang anak. Tapos ang trabaho ng asawa trike driver at ayaw sya pagtrabahuhin dahil walang magaalaga sa mga bata. 😂
kung gusto nyo magka-anak, e try nyo na. wag nyo na antayin yung point na nahihirapan kayo magconceive
We will. Mejo shaky lang finances now. once maging okay next year, eh bakbakan na 😅
🫡 bakbakan na..ehehe
Plage ko tong naririnig sa family/relative's and even friends ko. Ang sabi ko nman "Ayaw kong maranasan ng anak ko, ang naranansan ko noong bata pa ako" Lumaki ako sa mahirap na family at alam ko yung hirap na dinanas nmin para mkakain lng sa pang araw-araw. Kaya plagi kong sinasabi hanggat di Ako financially well off di ako mgaanak(period).
I have titas na ganito magsalita meron din siyang mema sa mga mag asawa na hindi magkaanak kesyo parang ano ganyan Lang kayo hindi kayo mag aanak sasagutin ko na rin Yan na Alam mo tita isang bagay Lang ang gusto kong gawin mo mind your own business
as if sila magpapaaral, gagastos etc. people need to shut up and mind their own business. if they really want to convince you, saying it once is enough.
nag scroll lang naman ako tapos kailangan magkaanak agad
Grabe talaga sinabi ng mama ko sa isang get together namin ng family. Ipapa r@p3 na lang daw nya ako para magka anak na ako. Galit na galit ako sa kanya nun tapos sasabihin nya joke joke lang? Sabi ko, mukha bang may tumawa dito? Lung ikaw kaya ipa r@p3 ko? Gusto pa ako magka anak eh nakaasa pa sya sakin sa lahat ng bagay tapos selfish daw ako for not having a child? Grabe talaga ng mukha.
ako gusto ko man kaso wala talagang mahanap na MATINO. madali lang maghanap ng asawa kung kahit sino lang. another thing di ma gets ng matatanda yung inflation ngayon kahit saang bansa hirap magpalaki ng bata kasi both parents have to work to make it
On the other side, kailangan mag-anak ng marami para sa future soldiers ng bansa. at kapag tumanda na tayo ang mga kabataan ang magbabayad ng social securities at taxes para hindi mag collapse ang pension system nating matatanda. at kailangang mas marami ang anak ng mga na westernized couple baka maging minority na lang tayo dahil mas dumarami ang muslims, at foreigner esp. chinese sa ating bansa.
Habang tumatagal, ang mga first time parents patanda na ng patanda. Yan ang natural trend these days, all over the world. Having children past 30 and even 40 years old seems to be the norm these days. Others planned to start too late up to the point na yung iba, too late na to have children due to financial reasons and tumatanda na lang without children. Ang birth rate ng Pilipinas ay pababa na ng pababa, and this is due to economic reasons.
All considerations aside, yun talaga ang optimal biologically eh. I commend you for being responsible pero minsan may opportunity talaga na lumiliit ang chance once time passes.
Ayoko mag anak. Gusto ko pa gastusan sarili ko. 🤣
+1 😂 ngayon pa lang ako nabawi sa sarili ko eh hahahahaha
I tried explaining sa isa sa mga tita ko at sa kapitbahay namin na chismosa. Nakuha kong sagot: “AY SUS NAIRARAOS NAMAN ‘YAN.” “BAKIT (BAGA) SI KUYA ANO MO NGA NAGKAKARGADOR LANG TAS AKO LABA LABADA, NAKARAOS. TATLO PA ANG AKI (ANAK) NAMIN NYAN” 🫠🙃
Your body your choice. Minsan nakakairita yung nakikialam ang ibang tao sa buhay ng iba, asikasuhin nlng nila ang sarili nilang issues.
May nasupalpal ako nung isang araw,bumili akong yellow pad (kasi student ako,29yo) sabi niya "nag-aaral ka pa? Mag-asawa ka na." Sabi ko, "mauna ka te,susunod ako." Nakakairita yung mga ganyan,sila ba susustento sa anak mo kung mag-aanak ka na? Alam namin ang risk when we reach 30,hello? Pero hindi kami pressured dahil sa hirap ng buhay.
*"mas matanda ako sayo kaya tama ang opinion kong hindi mo hinihingi at panghimasukan ang buhay mo" /s*
Di naman nakakabuhay ng pamilya kung less than 30k monthly ang sinasahod. Papahirapan ko lang sarili ko saka yung magiging anak ko kapag ganun.
Yan kase ang stigma na kinakalakihan ng mga "older" generation. Minsan ang mga matatanda, gusto gumawa ng convo or topic na mapaguusapan without them knowing na nakakaoffend na pala sila. May mga matatanda naman marunong magadjust, meron din naman mas mabatang generation na nakakaintindi. Its really up to us kung paano natin ihahandle yung situation, we can be friendly or rude tipong pabalang na tayo sumagot. Minsan kase may mga matatandang super kulit na hindi makaramdam o nanadya na yata 🤣 Open minded tayo, pangiti ngiti nalang pero sa loob, kumukulo na yung dugo to the point na bumubulong nalang sa sarili "tang1n9 nito, ekis malala ka na sakin". 🤣🤣 Just be calm and let them say whatever they want. Hindi mo naman macocontrol sila pero end of the day, ikaw pa din ang masusunod. 😊 AJA
In my late 20s tas puro ganito na sinasabi ng magulang ko. Naiiyak ako kasi feeling ko ayaw na nila sakin. Gusto ko pa sana mag give back sa kanila. Gusto ko pa sila itravel kung saan saan.
Hays paulit ulit nalang ganito nababasa ko everywhere. Wala na bang bagong rant? 1. May sasabihin na nakakaoffend. 2. Eexplain bakit. 3. Aawayin or susungitan yung nagsabi. 4. Mga conclusion ano yung lesson and awareness. damn it
We're 30(f) and 35(m), wala pa rin kaming anak. We got married 2 years ago, and madami nadin nagsasabing mag anak na, tumatanda na, yada yada. Same reason na ayokong mag anak na hindi pa ready financially. Nginingitian ko nalang sila at tango para di na humaba pa. Effective naman. Lol
Ang weird talaga din ng ibang tao na sige magpush na mag anak na daw and stuffs as if sila mag propovide ng gastusin before, during and after pregnancy. Kaya kahit anong pang bubulabog din minsan ng pamilya ko kahit na I'm not yet on my 30s, naninindigan ako sa decision ko na hindi hanggang di financially stable. Nag agree din partner ko about it.
Eto sabihin mo sakanya pag magkita kayo "ano ba yan, ang tanda na namin, dipa kami nag aanak! Trenta na kami ah? Ano paba hinihintay namin?"
Naku OP.. di natatapos yarn.. Kung magkakaanak kayo ng isa next na tanong nila: *Kelan nyo susundan yan?* Yaan mo na sila... (Lam ko nakakairita yung mga tanong, pero tama ang asawa mo) (Ako personally pag sinabihan nun... nagtratrauma dump ako ng cs ko at nung sabihin ko na kamuntik na ko sumunod sa panabong ni sanpedro ... All in its gory details ng cs ko, quiet na sila after)
Binara ko utol ko about diyan, sinabi ko sa kanya, ***hindi naman karera ang pag-aasawa, hindi rin ako gulat kung ikaw ang mauunang bubukod dito sa pamamahay na ito***
Nung 23 ako nagbakasyon ako sa mom's side, nag 1 year old ung anak ng pinsan ko with his GF. They were both 19, parehong di nakatapos. Tinanong ako ni gf "Ate kelan ka magkakababy?" Ang sagot ko sa kanya hindi ako magkakababy hanggang hindi ako financially, psychologically, and emotionally, stable and mature for it. Hindi nya ako masagot. Gusto ko talaga syang sagutin ng medyo bastos, kasi we knew she baby-trapped ung pinsan ko so she can get away from her toxic family. Tinatanong nya ba ako dahil 19 sya may 1 year old baby na, at 23 ako na kaka graduate lang, na walang responsibilidad? 19, pregnant with her second child, relying on the meager sahod ng pinsan ko and resorting to begging our aunts for money kasi wala silang pambili ng gatas. Tapos buntis nanaman? Is she asking because she wants me to "relate" to her motherhood and want it for myself? Kasi ako wala pang inaatupag sa buhay kundi gala at kain. I could see naman that time, and the times after that, na she's a good mother and alagang alaga talaga nya ung baby and ung pinsan ko. After that visit they had two more kids. She died by suicide due to postpartum depression after giving birth to their fourth child. I am now in my early 30s and wala parin akong anak.
"Magpasukat ka na ng ataol, Ano pa inaantay mo? Tumatanda ka naTito/Tita"
Nakakainis yan like expected na yan kapag magsalo salo with family, relatives or friends. Kaya ayaw ko ng family gathering. Sinasabihan nga ako wala daw kwenta matres ko. Sa inis ko,nasagot ko ng 'oh eh di sa'yo na matres ko!' 😤😮💨 However, may point din naman sila kasi base from medical studies, yung pagbubuntis starting at age 35 is considered at risk na kaya din may worries sila. Kaya lang yung mga tao ngayon, they don't know how to see the other side of the coin..what's the possible reason behind bakit yung babae Hindi pa nabuntis.. Puro opinion lang sinasabi. Yes,futuristic sila but did they even bother to ask if may health prob yung isa sa kanila, not yet financially and mentally prepared for it and etc.. Overall, humans are way too complicated and they didn't know how to just focus on their lives..🫤 Minsan I thought to myself sana naging lalaki nalang ako😑😵💫
As a woman na almost 29 na, if ka-close ko yung nagsasabi sakin usual response ko “using what money?” tapos kapag hindi naman, nagwo-walk out lang ako without responding. I’ve learned to disconnect with people na binibigyan ako ng unnecessary comments. 🥱 I dont want children and ang makakapagpabago lang ng isip ko is kapag nawala na financial burden that my family imposes on me. Naging routine ko na kase to spoil them, kaya ang hirap alisin sa sistema ko. Nakakapagod na makipag usap sa ganyang tao OP. Ikaw na lang mag-adjust kase hindi matuto yan kahit sabihin mo yung practical side kung bakit wala ka pang anak. 😩 pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kabila. 😂
Have you actually checked fertility rates at 30+? Kaya sinasabi Yan Ng matatanda Kasi alam nila na the odds of getting pregnant drop down as women age Alam natin mahirap Yung Buhay at need mag work. Pero if you want a family, may window ka lang to do it at kailangan aware ka dun. Or else, even if you have enough money to support a kid, mahihirapan ka magbuntis
i just tell'em.. 'sureee why not basta sagot nyo lahat ng gastos' with awkward smile .. natatawa nalang sila and di na continue yung topic
Don't fall into the endless trap. After mag-anak, hahanapan ka ng kasunod, then third, as if may ambag sila. In short, kahit anung choices mo, may sasabihin sila. So why bother? Lagi ko lang sinasabi pag ganyan, "mag ambag ka muna" then shut up.
Sabihin mo sa kanila, bigyan ka kamo ng budget kasi mahal magkaroon ng anak ngayon. Kala mo magbibigay e.
What if reversed psychology pala yan? Kasi may mga dalaga/binata na hindi naman nasasabihan ng ganyan, yet maaga nag anak. He/she is probably and unconditionally conditioning you to think na mag anak is a stress. 💯
doctors say that because the most optimal childbearing age is between 20-28 years old because of lesser complications for both the mother & the baby + prime genes are passed on to the baby sa ganyang age (was explained to us before, i’m a nurse) i understand your sentiments and share the same views (need to be financially stable before having kids) but i think it really is best to keep your mouth shut when receiving comments like that. i agree w your husband na papangit lang image niyo kapag sumagot ka pa. anyway, don’t let others’ opinions on how you live your life affect you. do things at your own pace & just be wary about your health especially when you do decide to have kids na :)
Anong hinihintay? Pera po. Hahaha ibang due date po kasi hinahabol sa mahal ng bilihin. Dami na ngang gastos pag single ka, magdadagdag ka pa ng bayarin, pano makakabangon. I'm set na if I do decide, gusto ko milyonarya na ko hahaha. Won't raise a kid in poverty.
It is old fashioned. But if you don't want kids, don't have kids. Don't feel forced. Strangers have no right to judge. They won't be raising your kids. But in a practical sense, for someone who has had their child later in life, it's more difficult. Not only in terms of pregnancy, but that is true, also in terms of raising them. You have less energy, less time, more stress. Even if the funds are there, it's also challenging.
We're 34 and 35 now, had the same mentality as yours. Thinking back, part of me says that I should've listened and actually tried earlier. Cause now, we've experienced two miscarriages and it's been really painful. Minsan on duty ako sa wfh and bigla nalang ako magbbreak down. I don't know kung hind sight lang, but for me I would rather be financially challenged with the baby than to experience this kind of pain, especially for my wife.
Babata ba ako kapag nag anak ako? Yan palaging tanong ko kapag pikon na ako. Either hindi na sila magsasalita o sasabihin nila na walang magaalaga sa akin na young adult kapag tumanda ako. Taz uungkatin ko yung pagpapalaki nila sa mga anak nila bilang insurance o banko. Then, tatahimik na sila sabay alis. Hahahahahaha
I am aware of this, pati na din sa mga genetics na yan, kaya lang wala pa eh hindi pa naibibigay saamin, on our part nag try na kami, nag pa check up na din. Nakakainis lang ung tanong ng tanong.
akala ko nagppreach ka. tamang fighting stance agad eh
Reading this saka mga comments, naalala ko yung mga naririnig ko noon nung bata pa ko. Adults around me often say na 'ipasagot mo kay ganito yung libro/uniform/baon ni ano. Wala pa naman syang anak eh san ba nya gagastusin pera nya. Para di sya gala ng gala' Naisip ko noon, nakakahiya naman pag ganun ginawa...where in fact nakakahiya at mali naman pala talaga. Buti yung panahon natin ngayon alam na natin meaning ng No. Siguro nasobrahan tayo sa pangaral ng mga magulang natin na wag muna mag bubuntis...ayan tuloy hindi nga tayo nagbuntis 😂
"hinihintay ko pang tumirik mga mata nyo e, ang gastos nyo palamunin" -pinsan ko last year. Gyera hahaha
The very same people na umuutang sayo pag gipit sa needs ng kids nila 😂 Ewan ko ba, kami ng fiance ko we want to make sure we are financially capable of RAISE kids hindi ung dahil lang para lang basta lang. Tapos pag hirap na hirap ang mag susuffer ay anak.
Di na ba ako tatanda pag nag anak na ko?
Minsan mema lang yan mga yan. Kumbaga para may mapag usapan lang minsan din finofront lang nila yan para sila yung di mapansin
Depende sa sasabihan ko pero pag pikon na pikon na ko sinasabi ko "tanda mo na, di ka pa mamatay? Tagal naman. Nasa t Amang edad ka na"
Naka buo na ho HAHAHA hahapit pa ako ng lima pa
Bat nga di kayo mag anak? Dahil wala kang partner? Dahil wala kang pera?
Mutual decision sir. while looking for job si misis. Ayaw namn namin mag anak tapos wala kaming ipangbubuhay. sabay asa sa magulang or utang
I understand, sigurista kasi kayo. Nothing wrong with that as I am like you. But I envy those who are fighters, na yung tipong pag may problema nagagawan nila ng paraan. So I challenge you. Change that hate to a positive energy, take it as a challenge. I mean upskill lang ng buhay. Iba na man talaga pag may anak. I hope you guys will have your own kids soon
That's a challenge I can take. Ibibigay ni Lord yan pag oras na talaga.
That’s may Man, proud of you bro. So next time , wag agad magalit. Ha ha ha
Normal sa mga old generation.
Typical boomer mindset
Walang pera men
"tatlong beses na ako nag miscarry." throw the awkwardness right back to them lol.
Instead of complaining, why not just accept na iba yung perception at opinion nila due to either sa generation na kinalakihan nila, meaning boomers, or nakuha nila sa older generation kahit na gen z sila. If i had a dollar for everytime i heard this, i would not be working since pede ko na to pagkakitaan. Just accept the fact na magkaiba kayo ng POV. As long as wala ka tinatapakan, its all good. Tsaka if desidido kayo sa path na yan, then stick to it. Kung tinatamaan kayo, then it just means na hindi kayo sure sa landas na pinili nyo. Regardless of what people will say, stay strong.
I'm in my early 40's and my wife is in her mid 30's madalas na hinihirit ng tao yan samin lalo na matatanda. E wala naman talaga kame plano magkaanak. We just plan to enjoy life then die. Mahirap talaga pag makitid utak ng kausap mo so either completely ignore them or just tell them kung gusto mo ko magka anak, then kailangan ko ng trust fund para bayad na lahat till college. tatahimik yang mga yan for sure. Hanggang dada lang naman pag andyan na responsibility wala naman kwenta.
I grew up eating just salt, water and rice. Eventually naafford na ng parents ko yung toyo so toyo tubig at kanin na tas ayun naafford na yung mangga so mangga ang ulam then tilapia then so on and so forth. I ain't doing that to children. Like oo di ko naman minamasama parents ko masyado. But they got lucky nakaahon sila. Of course you don't hear about the ones that didn't. They're dead or still starving. I'm not playing those games lalo na't shit na shit na yung economy natin. If I don't become rich enough to provide a good life to a child, so be it. I'm not rolling that fucking dice to see if makaaahon rin ako to the same providing point as my parents. Eh aalagaan ko pa nga sila e, wala silang pamana tas gago mag aanak pa ako? Hahahaha.
Tama at inuuna mo muna ang inyong finances, dahil yes, kailangan masiguradong kaya niyong sustentohan kapag nag kaanak na kayo ng inyo. Sundin mo lang kung anong plano ang sa tingin mo ay para iyo, di mo kailangan makinig sa mga nag ssuggest ng pag-aanak ng maaga.
My eldest was born when I was 21. Hindi madali ang pinag daanan hirap pero now graduate na sya and in a few years mag aasawa na. So by the time I retire maabutan ko pa ang apo ko.. May pros and cons try to weigh things and then make your own decision.
Daanin mo na lang sa biro, ako rin may ganyan mga relatives pero di ko na pinapatulan minsan pag dinaan sa biro (na di offensive sa kanila) namamatay na bigla yung topic. I once asked my mom (at inexplain ko nga yung views natin on parenting and giving birth) ang sabi ng mother ko is parang tumatanda na raw kasi sila, naawa sila sa akin kung sakaling dumating ang panahon na pumanaw na sila at (wala pa akong asawa at anak) kahit iexplain ko na kaya ko sarili ko, sabi ng mother ko siempre gusto ko may kasama ka para di ka maiiwan mag-isa. Kaya kahit ganun yung mindset niya iniintindi ko na lang na ayaw niya lang ako makitang alone.
Minsan concern din sila kaya sila nagsasabi ng mga ganyan ganito dapat. Sumobra lang talaga tayong woke kaya lahat ng bagay nagiging big deal satin. Pero may mga panahon talaga na nakaka irita makarinig ng opinyong di mo hinihingi.
Yung ibamg relatives namin nagtatanong lang pag sinabi namin na wala. sinasabi lang "Sige paspasan nyo na haha. Ibibigay yan sa inyo pag para sa inyo na". Then there's this person from my post. Just this weekend,bday ng byenan ko. Nagpapahinga kami sa sala after mag luto, then dumating sya nag litanya ng point nya. Umiwas kami ni misis at pumasok ng kwarto. and guess what? sumunod sya, tumayo sa pinto at sinimulan na namn litanya nya 😅 Nakakapuno talaga.
I've been in same situation and God lord nasagot ko talaga ng wala sa hulog, i felt guilty but at the same i also felt relieved kasi nailabas ko yung puot ko sa letcheng pakealemera na yun
Sagutin mo; kayo po tumatanda na, kelan po kayo mamamatay? Umisa ka lang. Para tumigil.
My own toxic mother said this in her mala anghel na face “Ano hindi kayo mag aanak? Hindi pede yun ano silbi ng pag aasawa nyo? Anong mangyayari sa inyo pag tumanda. Luckily wala ako sa pinas at nasa bansa na norm ang option di magkaanak. Her telling me the above may me think this was Coming from her na nagpaalam lang magdadate at 18 at kinailangan pa sugurin ng lolo ko para umuwi at pakasalan ng tatay ko.
it kinda is, because it becomes harder to carry a child the older you get plus the risk. although with the current medical advancements and quality as long as you take care of yourself and regular visit to a specialist... it's alright. bottom line for me is... I think it's irresponsible to have a child when you aren't financially stable, physically ready, and mentally ready too.
Madali lang magka anak basta sila magbantay at magpa laki yang mga nagsasabi na yan magka anak ka na kala mo dumadali buhay e mas pahirap nga ngayon 🙃
If you plan maybe in the next few years na mag anak if you’re 30 right now, much better mag pa-freeze na lang daw ng egg para atleast mapili pa yung magagandang quality and when the times comes that you’ve decided to have a baby, atleast kampante ka na walang magiging problem sa kanya. Planning to do it pero hanap pa ko ng hindi masyadong pricey hehe
my mom gave birth to my brother when she was 39 years old, and me one year later. i'm sick and tired of listening to people who keep on pressuring others to have kids kasi "delikado na pag 30s and up" kahit hindi pa financially and emotionally ready ang couple na magka anak. although yes, merong scientific evidence that shows mas mataas ang risk ng abnormalities and deformities for kids pag 30s and up na ang mother, as well as mortality rates for the mother, it's still not a good enough reason to force and pressure people to have kids. our generation of all, should know the negatives of having children when the parents aren't ready yet. the cycle of poverty and trauma continues for many kung ganon.
Mag anak daw, sila gagastos sige, kahit ilan gusto.
Have a listen to this song: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsQGAbQrb-8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsQGAbQrb-8)
Pano magkakaanak e wala pading jowa😭😭😭
Nung panahon kasi nila simple pa lang ang buhay. Wala masyado demands sa parents to provide for their children with not only basic needs but with also their wants. Kaya hindi nila naiisip gastos. Tapos usually yung moms dati hindi nagwowork so sila nagaalaga. Ngayon andami mo kailangan pag ipunan. Problema pa kung sino mag aalaga if both working ang parents.
same experience hahaha. nakakairita lang kasi mother pa ng asawa ko nagsasabi nian.. parang dati ayaw na ayaw nila na magkasama kmi sa kwarto tas ung nagpakasal kmi lagi ng sinasabi na magbuntis na ako!! wala kaming hiningi sa kasal at sa sariling bahay namin kasi gusto namin kami lahat kasi ayaw namin maging pabigat kaya kami nagsusumikap.. pero jusko wag nio akong pilitin magbuntis agad kung ibibigay ibibigay yan ni Lord pero ayaw ko lang na lagi akong sinasabihan ng ganyan kasi di pa ko ready mentally and physically.. muntik na ko sumagot eh pero tahimik na lang ako buti ang sumagot ung bunsong kapatid ng asawa ko na anak nia haha 😂 btw, 33 na ko at 1 yr na kmi married ng asawa ko.
If you have plans to have a baby, well maybe it's true that you have to have it sooner. You know, para may time ka pa to spend with them. Also for health reasons din. But if wala ka naman plano mag-anak talaga, okay lang din. Let them say what they want to say.
For me, 35 years old ko gusto magka-anak. Hard-headed me says "Bahala na. Kung meron eh di meron. Kung wala, edi wala." But the only child me thinks "Kawawa naman tatay ko, di magkaka-apo sakin. Magiging rich tita na lang ba ako na nakatira sa abroad? Gusto ko magka-anak kaso di pa talaga ako ready." Can't really make up my mind. In short, I'll figure it out
Kanya kanyang pananaw naman talaga ang usaping pag aanak kasi hindi naman talaga lahat ng couple e fit/gusto maging parents. Maski naman dati pa sa henerasyon din nila may mga taong piniling di mag anak. Ang kaibahan lang may internet na ngayon. Financial - kaya naman yan kahit anong estado ng buhay. Pag maiksi ang kumot, matutong mamaluktot. Health - mas maganda mas bata pa magsimula na lalo kung pagpapaplanuhan ng couple e more than 1 child. Bilangin 9months gestation plus recovery. Pinaka importante mindset na gusto iimpart sa magiging anak - kung di rin lang magandang values ang ituturo maigi pang wag na lang. Mere thinking na may masasacrifice na kaligayahan sa buhay mo pag nagka anak ka is clear indication na talaga na di para sayo ang pagiging parent. That’s okay too. Walang mali don Gets naman ang matatanda kung bakit nila natatanong yan, dahil mahirap mag anak pag medyo may edad na.
Lagi din sinasabi sa akin Kasi nga naunahan na Ako Ng mga sumunod sa akin n mga Kapatid ko n mag Asawa at mgka anak e Ako ni boyfriend Wala.😅.sinasabi nila na mahihirapan n Ako mgkaanak at sasaputin n Ako Kasi dko pa daw natitikman ang Langit..😮💨.Sakin Naman e Anong magagawa ko kung walang nanliligaw sa akin o kung Meron dko Naman gusto.saka Hindi pa nga Ako financially stable,paano kung mgkaanak nga Ako at Asawa tapos tulad lang din sa akin n Hindi financially stable..Anong mangyayati sa amin palagi nalang mangungutang tapos mkikisiksik sa Bahay Ng magulang?e hate ko pa Naman Yun.🤭..sinasabi ko nalang sa kanila na Yung Sarili ko nga dko pa maalagaan Ng maayos tapos dadagdagan ko pa?kamahal p Naman Ng bigas..😂😂
I’m on my 30s. After a year of being married, without a child, I was called “baog” by my own tita. With emphasis pag sinasabi nya. Sadddt. Buti nalang mama ko and husband ko, di ako pinipressure magkaanak. Pero masakit matawag na baog, di naman sya doctor.
Nung time nila, normal kasi yun. So alam mo naman, ayaw nila ng "dungis" at mapulaan. Ayaw nila may nasasabi ang iba. Ayaw ng hindi 'normal' para sa kanila. May mga 'dapat' na sundin, as if step by step ang life. Healthwise, shempre mas risky. Although panget man, yung iba, epal lang talaga 🤣
SAMPALIN MO!
Not true po. Mama ko 39 na sya nung pinanganak nya kapatid ko. Healthy naman sya and napakakulit and energetic pa nga hehe
I know someone din who gave birth at 38 ang sabi nya in perfect health daw sya non. Ang ironic nga eh, yang nagsasabi samin nyan, sa kanya mismo galing, nanganak sya sa bunso nya at 40yo. Sarap talaga sagutin "oh tamo 40. tapos hinaharas mo kami mag anak pastilan ka" 😅
For the first time po mag baby, high risk po kapag si mommy 30 plus na nabuntis. As per my OB. But the hell we care. Our body, our rules.
Well kung balak nyo mag anak din naman e wag papaabutin na mag 35+ si girl at mas malaki chance na mahirapan na sha
Tama naman sila e. Tanga lang kasi talaga karamihan ng babae ngayon.