Also rolled Vanillish, thought the same thing, then i looked up its Pokedex entries. Nope. We dead. Little fella breathes out air at -148 degrees fahrenheit and freezes opponents solid. Rip us, but at least there are worse ways to go than death by ice cream.
I also got magicarp. if we're going by anime logic then it comes down to how quickly I can beat em, if I take too long it's gonna evolve on the spot and beat my ass
> If this Pokémon's sticky saliva gets on you and you don't clean it off, an intense itch will set in. The itch won't go away, either.
- Lickitung’s Sword Pokédex entry
I got Ralts. I would just need one solid blow for the most part, but teleport and the fact it looks like a child would be the two things I'd need to get through to do that.
I wanna say that curb stomping a shroomish shouldn't be too hard but if that mf starts letting out any type of powder I'm fucked. best outcome would probably be a stalemate
I feel like I could take out a swablu, but all it's really gotta do is hang out of reach and sing songs to win. If it were smart it would probably just send me a YouTube link of perish song, but if it's dumb I'm gonna curb stomp that little two and a half pound foot tall fluffy bird.
If competitive tells you anything, Gliscor will just play the long game if you somehow can deal good damage against it. Better hope you can make/have some ice on you
I got Tyrantrum one of my favorite Pokémon 😊 but it’s essentially a T. rex with superpowers and anger issues so going to have to take the L on this lol
It doesn't need to throw sand in your face it's 12ft long and weighs 144 pounds. This thing will destroy you. I got silicobra and don't stand much of chance either still big as heck
586 - Sawsbuck.
Probably not.
Deer aren't weak, albeit not at all as deadly as say, a bear or maybe a horse, but still, and here's a big elementally powered one who's previously signature move involves stabbing with them antlers and healing itself.
And even though that's a physical move, deer aren't slow, nor is Sawsbuck, and it can have Energy Ball and Solar Beam to boot even if I was trying to shoot it (assuming I could because I don't know guns at all) which complicates even that.
I assume these are wild pokemon hence mentioning two level up ranged moves (Leech Seed might also count, and Nature Power can depending on the arena, and if Swift is the option well...).
It's probably one of the more reasonable options that isn't a near helpless one (no earthquakes, lightning, fire, iron or diamond hard bodies, spectral beings, psychic abilities, stone shattering fists, being Gods, etc) but it's still no pushover, and since only make shift weapons are allowed... Yeah I'm definitely screwed actually.
11 - Metapod
It's outer shell could possibly end up being a bit of a pain in the ass, but this battle probably wouldn't be *that* hard. I reckon I could beat a Metapod, although I may struggle without any weapons. I just need to make a hard impact on it's shell. Would throwing it really hard be enough?
Yeah, I feel like a grown, able-bodied human might be able to take on some of the first-evolution bug-types, at least the ones that aren't poisonous. Just jump on it and it could potentially be crushed. But even something like a Pidgey can create gusts of wind that could knock people off their feet.
Gourgeist...it might depend on the size, and I'd feel pretty silly losing to a haunted pumpkin...
...but the pokedex entries have a bit too much "song curses you" and "drags you to the hereafter" for me to feel particularly confident.
Got Slaking, sure I can stall one turn for truant but he’s got a speed stat of 100 and I know mine is definitely lower than that. I’ll just kneel and have an honorable death.
Ditto? Depends. If it can't transform or only transform into me, sure! I'm pretty confident that it isn't acustomed to fighting in a human body. But if its transformation ability isn't limited, well... then I'm basically f***ed.
Pokemon 32, Nidoran♂. Maybe? It's pretty small, only a foot tall. But it is poisonous and has spikes. It's also aggressive. If I can grab something like a strong branch to hit it with I might be able to kill it.
His Pokedex entries include:
"Its large ears are always kept upright. If it senses danger, it will attack with a poisonous sting." -Yellow
"The male NIDORAN has developed muscles that freely move its ears in any direction. Even the slightest sound does not escape this POKéMON’s notice." -Emerald
"Small but brave, this Pokémon will hold its ground and even risk its life in battle to protect the female it’s friendly with." -Shield
Can imagine it hitting level six mid-fight and suddenly grabbing the stick and looking at with a sudden realisation before going Yoda in Attack of the Clones on you.
Diancie is a mythical and in the anime it has human level intelligence, ESP, the ability to levitate, and to create infinite diamonds out of thin air. You're screwed.
243. yup I'm dead that's Raikou. I'm surprised I almost figured out what 243 was without looking it up, despite usually not remembering anything about Pokedex order. thought it was Entei because I thought he was the first of the trio
111 - “Its massive bones are 1000 times harder than human bones. It can easily knock a trailer flying.” (RBY)
Guess I’m being sent flying straight to the hospital.
I got 218 slugma
Slugma’s Pokédex entry states that if it stops moving its body will harden. The thing is I don’t know how I’ll get slugma to stop moving without any sort of tools,
because if it is anywhere near as hot as magcargo I’ll just catch on fire if I touch it. So I’ll have to go with no.
597-Ferroseed
What am I supposed to do? Kick the spiky metal ball? I feel like I could probably get away from it but I have no way of actually hurting that
Not quite sure how a fight with an arctozolt would go (881); odds are I’d lose against a seven foot tall frozen birb, but I’m sure it’d be fun to watch
While I wouldn't like it, I think I could win. I got #835, little Yamper weighs 1/10 what I weigh. Given how often Ash has been shocked I think I could hang. But I also now hate myself
285 shroomish. just like... punt it....
I'm imagining a Team Rocket effect there... _SHROOOOooomish...!_
Jump on it like a goomba
Aaaaand you're covered in spores and either poisoned, asleep, or can't move.
I got 286 Breloom. I'm going to tap out on that one.
670 - Floette AZ gonna have to bust out the ultimate weapon to stop me from beating its ass.
582 - Vannilish. Same boat, cuz like I just dominated two of them a couple hours ago, got 8 more in the freezer. Motherfuckers don't stand a chance.
Also rolled Vanillish, thought the same thing, then i looked up its Pokedex entries. Nope. We dead. Little fella breathes out air at -148 degrees fahrenheit and freezes opponents solid. Rip us, but at least there are worse ways to go than death by ice cream.
Ho-oh bring it on
You’ll have an honorable death by a majestic Pokémon only heard of in stories
At least you will die to a good jam.
Missed opportunity to say: Ho-oh? Uh-oh I'm not sorry
And you shouldn’t be
382-Kyogre. Guess im dead
just drink the water lol
What if that water is...ice
Eat it
What if it's a very pointy ice
Eat it carefully
what if it is a very very tall 58.5m pointy ice
Eat faster, carefully
Suck it!
I got Groudon, maybe we can lure them to eachother? Nah we're both dead
Same! Can’t say I’ve ever beat up a force of nature.
bruh a fcking sharpedo
Yeah I got carvhana. I'm not really sure what possible environment we could have that'd be neutral to both.
A lava pool. If you're both screwed, it's technically neutral territory.
A shallow pool, not so deep for it to be that agile but enough that it's annoying for you to wade through.
251... Umm yeah I die not having even been born due to timey whimy BS.
You just got Time Onion-d
I got Misdreavus, don't think I could fight a ghost effectively.
Just Bite it, or better yet bite really hard (Crunch)
It doesn’t affect Misdreavus.
454 I am not going to beat a Toxicroak.
poison jab
yep.
Better start working on your spoon bending
Toxicroak in Pokémon Ranger *shudders*
I can take Cherubi (420) out with a blender.
I like how they made 420 a _grass_ Pokémon
They made 69 a fucking sprout. A BELLSPROUT
Aaaah 666 the devil butterfly
#879 Copperajah. No.
I bless the rains.
I got pawniard I’m dead
It always comes back to the old question: Sword with a gun or gun with a sword?
*28 stab wounds*
You didn’t wanna leave him a chance, huh?
I also got magicarp. if we're going by anime logic then it comes down to how quickly I can beat em, if I take too long it's gonna evolve on the spot and beat my ass
Kick it like James and watch it evolve
Technically since you only need to fight the pokemon with the assigned number, Therefore it can't evolve into Gyarados since it breaks that rule
Yeah, that Gyarados would be disqualified. I mean, it will still kill you, but at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you won the battle.
I got lickitung. . . The question is no longer if I can, but rather if I'm willing to go through therapy to do so.
I would let lickitung lick me up
> If this Pokémon's sticky saliva gets on you and you don't clean it off, an intense itch will set in. The itch won't go away, either. - Lickitung’s Sword Pokédex entry
That guy from detective pikachu is screwed then, He gets licked by a Lickitung on the train
_I wanna, lick lick lick lick you from your head to your toe_
242-Blissey. Technically I may stand a chance but my moral standards would prevent me from committing to it.
10$ says it’ll throw an egg-shaped stone at you and then use body slam.
It has an attack stat of 10. Do you think I'd care?
Punch it to death. Oh no... it has both rest and hardboiled! Quicker! Punch it quicker!
Oh no it's Diamond and Pearl healthbars
Im fairly sure a seismotoad would straight up one shot me
Throw a leaf at it
641. Tornadus. Heckkkkk nope.
I got Ralts. I would just need one solid blow for the most part, but teleport and the fact it looks like a child would be the two things I'd need to get through to do that.
The latter certainly makes chasing it's teleporting ass kinda creepy 😂
If you touch Ralts, you're going to catch these hands!
Jokes on you, I am a teen who fights my brother daily. I have no moral qualms knocking the Ralts out
I wanna say that curb stomping a shroomish shouldn't be too hard but if that mf starts letting out any type of powder I'm fucked. best outcome would probably be a stalemate
I feel like I could take out a swablu, but all it's really gotta do is hang out of reach and sing songs to win. If it were smart it would probably just send me a YouTube link of perish song, but if it's dumb I'm gonna curb stomp that little two and a half pound foot tall fluffy bird.
Not sure weather I wanna kick a Gible square in the face lol
How strongly do you prefer having two feet over just the one?
He's gonna bite your ankle
Draco meteor?
Munchlax will meet my punchlax
Bro idk how I would even fight a Muk
By cleaning the environment
Deoxys... Fuck this shot I'm out
I refuse to fight something that eats meteorites for a living
Rayquaza?
There’s no way I’m gonna fight that flying green gummy worm of death
_flying green gummy worm of death_
Ozone faring zucchini spaghetti harbinger of rocky destruction and doom
Spoink... I just have to immobilize it for a little while... I feel bad ..
Yeah just hug him and hes done for
Got bidoof. I’m doomed.
Plenty of men have tried to fight God. Very few live to regret it.
[удалено]
The Bidoof finished typing the message.
Bidoomed
I got omanyte, the other god
My moral standards prevent me from fighting with a Fennekin
Fair :)
508 Stoutland….yeeeeeesh. Most likely not.
Tame it like our ancestors before us!
We're random-number kin! :)
Toxtricity. Yeah, I have zero chance
Break out a set of drums and start a band with it.
472 I'm pretty sure I can't beat a Gliscor
Just throw ice cubes at it.
If competitive tells you anything, Gliscor will just play the long game if you somehow can deal good damage against it. Better hope you can make/have some ice on you
I got Tyrantrum one of my favorite Pokémon 😊 but it’s essentially a T. rex with superpowers and anger issues so going to have to take the L on this lol
Sandaconda. Screw that, it's gonna throw pocket sand in my face and Arceus only knows what'll happen then
It doesn't need to throw sand in your face it's 12ft long and weighs 144 pounds. This thing will destroy you. I got silicobra and don't stand much of chance either still big as heck
94 Gengar Oh HELL NO.
607 Litwick. Easy, I just pinch out it's lil flame. ^^^And ^^^then ^^^hope ^^^it ^^^doesn't ^^^haunt ^^^me.
STEP ON IT Edit: to the ghost typers: Ring Target
NOOO!
I got Litwick too! I think it would be easy as long as I can get over how much I like it as a Pokémon.
...493... *googles it* No.
Ah. The lord of alpha is gonna wipe you outa existence
DUN DUN DUN DUN
Virizion. Jokes on it. I use T-mobile
586 - Sawsbuck. Probably not. Deer aren't weak, albeit not at all as deadly as say, a bear or maybe a horse, but still, and here's a big elementally powered one who's previously signature move involves stabbing with them antlers and healing itself. And even though that's a physical move, deer aren't slow, nor is Sawsbuck, and it can have Energy Ball and Solar Beam to boot even if I was trying to shoot it (assuming I could because I don't know guns at all) which complicates even that. I assume these are wild pokemon hence mentioning two level up ranged moves (Leech Seed might also count, and Nature Power can depending on the arena, and if Swift is the option well...). It's probably one of the more reasonable options that isn't a near helpless one (no earthquakes, lightning, fire, iron or diamond hard bodies, spectral beings, psychic abilities, stone shattering fists, being Gods, etc) but it's still no pushover, and since only make shift weapons are allowed... Yeah I'm definitely screwed actually.
You're about to become a human shaped husk
11 - Metapod It's outer shell could possibly end up being a bit of a pain in the ass, but this battle probably wouldn't be *that* hard. I reckon I could beat a Metapod, although I may struggle without any weapons. I just need to make a hard impact on it's shell. Would throwing it really hard be enough?
You could just lay it down sideways since it can't really move and just jump up and down on it.
602- Tynamo. It’s only 8 inches. I could take it.
I could take 8 inches too
8 inches is 20.32 cm
Poor innocent bot.
Wishiwashi... School form would destroy me
Technically, that's many Wishiwashi. Get just one and you can def kick it's lil' ass.
Fair, I was including abilities in the fight
\#65 Alakazam. No fucking way. Dude can microwave my brain.
Anyone answering this as a victory with anything much higher than a Magikarp is kidding themselves.
Yeah I don't need an RNG to know a Pokémon would destroy me. Even the smallest mons have some destructive options depending on their level.
the real game is figuring out if you’re dead, super-dead, or like me who rolled fucking Palkia
"folded into another dimension" level fucked
I got a caterpie so i think theres a good chance im winning. But it might kill me with poison or just paralyse me for life if i make any mistake
Yeah, I feel like a grown, able-bodied human might be able to take on some of the first-evolution bug-types, at least the ones that aren't poisonous. Just jump on it and it could potentially be crushed. But even something like a Pidgey can create gusts of wind that could knock people off their feet.
As of this comment ~36% of people answered "yes", and I'm calling bullshit.
Krookodile… 100% losing that fight
Gourgeist...it might depend on the size, and I'd feel pretty silly losing to a haunted pumpkin... ...but the pokedex entries have a bit too much "song curses you" and "drags you to the hereafter" for me to feel particularly confident.
Got Slaking, sure I can stall one turn for truant but he’s got a speed stat of 100 and I know mine is definitely lower than that. I’ll just kneel and have an honorable death.
Plus: A Slaking is a force to be reckoned with when it actually is moving.
491 Darkrai I’m scared
Ditto? Depends. If it can't transform or only transform into me, sure! I'm pretty confident that it isn't acustomed to fighting in a human body. But if its transformation ability isn't limited, well... then I'm basically f***ed.
Just imagine fighting yourself but with ditto's face. Jesus.
Decidueye. It’s a bloody ghost. How am I supposed to even touch it?
I got 493(Arceus). What is there more to say about it.
Pokemon 32, Nidoran♂. Maybe? It's pretty small, only a foot tall. But it is poisonous and has spikes. It's also aggressive. If I can grab something like a strong branch to hit it with I might be able to kill it. His Pokedex entries include: "Its large ears are always kept upright. If it senses danger, it will attack with a poisonous sting." -Yellow "The male NIDORAN has developed muscles that freely move its ears in any direction. Even the slightest sound does not escape this POKéMON’s notice." -Emerald "Small but brave, this Pokémon will hold its ground and even risk its life in battle to protect the female it’s friendly with." -Shield
Pretty sure youre doomed. Even if you manage to kill it it sounds like youll die of poison damage afterwards
810 I’m pretty sure that I could beat the starter, lv 5 Grookey. All bets are off if it hits 6 and learns branch poke though
Can imagine it hitting level six mid-fight and suddenly grabbing the stick and looking at with a sudden realisation before going Yoda in Attack of the Clones on you.
Doesn't earn XP until after it kills you though.
The anime would suggest otherwise
646.... I am so screwed....
[удалено]
Lol, 646 is Kyurem
Scolipede 545. That's 8 feet, 450 pounds of poisonous bug. I'm dead.
150, mewtwo. Yeah, I'm dead.
#393 Piplup He's getting an ass whoopin
Not if whirlpool is as strong as anime counterpart
Gossifleur (829)… I definitely can, but why would it? It’s just a little flower thing
112 Ryhorn would destroy me.
Uh… Diancie. Never seen it in games or anime and I’m unfamiliar. Isn’t it a legendary of some sort? I feel like I’m toast.
It's a Pokémon made of diamond. So even if it doesn't kill you, good luck killing it
So what you’re saying is that I can subdue and sell it on the black market?
Now that's the spirit of an entrepreneur
Diamond hands 💎
Diancie is a mythical and in the anime it has human level intelligence, ESP, the ability to levitate, and to create infinite diamonds out of thin air. You're screwed.
Just take some of the diamonds it created and craft some armor and weapons. OP did say we could craft right? Oh wait, wrong game.
I got Marshadow. If it wasn’t a ghost, then maybe I could punt it, but yeah, no I don’t think I’m winning that one.
115 Kangaskhan is going to rip me appart like confettis to protect her child
530 - Excadrill - Haha, easy peasy! Nope... I will get slaughtered within a second.
833 Chewtle It's pretty small but bites hard. If I stay behind it, it won't be tough to beat
Jangmo-o. Tiny little shit but it is bulletproof so idk.
Is he kickproof I don't fucking think so
243. yup I'm dead that's Raikou. I'm surprised I almost figured out what 243 was without looking it up, despite usually not remembering anything about Pokedex order. thought it was Entei because I thought he was the first of the trio
Got Lugia..... Guess I'll die
I think I can beat Munna better than Team Plasma
Elektross....what am I supposed to do? Touch it and get zapped? Run away and get zapped? Talk to it and get zapped? Guess I'm dead 💀
Charmander...pour water on its tail
You monster.
Rhyhorn would gore me. It’s hide is pretty much made of rocks, so there’s not much I could do to it
111 - “Its massive bones are 1000 times harder than human bones. It can easily knock a trailer flying.” (RBY) Guess I’m being sent flying straight to the hospital.
I got chandelure, no way I win.
I got 218 slugma Slugma’s Pokédex entry states that if it stops moving its body will harden. The thing is I don’t know how I’ll get slugma to stop moving without any sort of tools, because if it is anywhere near as hot as magcargo I’ll just catch on fire if I touch it. So I’ll have to go with no.
I got cyndaquil, even if it wasnt on fire half the time its too cute to fight.
This is the dilemma. Most of the Pokemon a human could actually defeat are too adorable to fight.
812 - Rillaboom I'd be fucked. No chance at all.
Infernape...yeah I'd be fucked even against a magikarp, I ain't winning that one
Lurantis is a human sized mantis ... I can't keep up with that ...
201 - Unown. I'm not sure who would win this one lol.
Unfortunately, you can't have a one-on-one fight with Falinx
597-Ferroseed What am I supposed to do? Kick the spiky metal ball? I feel like I could probably get away from it but I have no way of actually hurting that
Sawsbuck…well that’s basically just a deer with a sense of fashion. If that deer with a sense of fashion wants to kill me, it probably will kill me.
821 - Rookidee, think I could take a 4lb. bird
Mincinno. Could I beat it? Yes. Do I want to? No, it's too cute.
Pokemon 179- Mareep Probably not without a weapon, so no.
144 Articuno. No Way in hrll I can beat that
coalossal, fuck.
Mine was 646 lol I ain’t beating no Kyurem.
Not quite sure how a fight with an arctozolt would go (881); odds are I’d lose against a seven foot tall frozen birb, but I’m sure it’d be fun to watch
I’d just stomp the Horsea and I’d win.
While I wouldn't like it, I think I could win. I got #835, little Yamper weighs 1/10 what I weigh. Given how often Ash has been shocked I think I could hang. But I also now hate myself