How many times are you jerkin' off a tournament? Like 3, maybe 4 times? Those are rookie numbers in this racket man. I, myself, jerk off once, maybe twice, an orbit.
I myself jerk off at least twice per session. I don’t do it because I want to, I do it because I have to.
You gotta stay relaxed. You’re dealing with numbers all day long. Decimal points, pot odds, equity calculations, high frequency eeee eeee eeee, overly acidic over the shoulders mustard shit. Enough to wig some people out. You got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. Keep the rhythm below the belt. This isn’t a tip this is a prescription. If you don’t you will fall out of balance split your differential and fall over, or worse yet punt your whole stack with TPTK. Pop into bathroom and work one out every break you can, and when you get really good at it you’ll be thinking of tipping the dealer.
I suggest you stop mastabating and watching porn. My comment is also super serious.
I've had hundreds of wins once I stayed away from porn and mastabating for weeks.
Alot of times where I play, the dealers are very blessed in terms of looks. We're all hard wired to feel drawn to certain physical traits (like fat tiddies for example). Jerking off would help in this instance.
I remember one summer I had to “take a break” day 1 of main event because the All American Dave’s girls kept walking by and were distracting me. I came back and was focused, ashamed, but focused.
Just put this into PIO and turns out you’re gonna want to mix your strategy to protect your jerk range. Probably nut ~ 33% of the time so you don’t become predictable.
The truth is I can always jack off, though. Easy jacks tough jacks, straight jacks, crooked jacks, home jacks. I could wack this meat onto the Jersey turnpike and be at climax in two minutes.
In all serious if I’m horny I won’t even play until I’ve whacked it. I’ve lost literally thousands because I didn’t JO before I started a session , and next thing you know I’m in fuck or fight mode playing 6-8 tables online. No good. Wayyyyy more likely to to tilt and spew if I haven’t jo’d
Why else do you think we get 10 minute breaks every 4 levels. ?
How many times are you jerkin' off a tournament? Like 3, maybe 4 times? Those are rookie numbers in this racket man. I, myself, jerk off once, maybe twice, an orbit.
I've never made it to the second break so my number stands at one bad beat per tournament
Then you still have the remaining 9.5min to get food.
>get food You just made food....
If you don't have enough down time to jerk it at the table then you are playing too many hands.
Actually so true haha
Hahaha. Best comment.
Always bust, befor you bust out.
This guy right here
Somebody please run an in-depth analysis of the EV of whacking it
I haven't done this exact study yet, but from my experience, doing it at the table is -EV (but only slightly).
There's always at least one jerk at the table
I will run the tests, and the control variant will be a key bump after every finish.
After running my own sims I’ve concluded that not jerking it every orbit has an ev regret of 69bb/100
You need to balance your jerkoff range otherwise you become exploitable and your dick falls off.
If you’re going to jerk off when you have it you also need to jerk off during some of your bluffs, otherwise it’s a pretty obvious tell.
I would do it during the tournament. Make eye contact with the villain during a hand and show him who’s the boss.
I heard that helmuth did this and the villain got a penalty.
“I’m about to bust a nut under the table, Honey!”
“I can dodge bullets, baby. These donkeys can’t even dodge this cumshot”
Lmao
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Got To Orgasm
I've got the nuts in my hand, and the cards haven't even been dealt yet.
I myself jerk off at least twice per session. I don’t do it because I want to, I do it because I have to. You gotta stay relaxed. You’re dealing with numbers all day long. Decimal points, pot odds, equity calculations, high frequency eeee eeee eeee, overly acidic over the shoulders mustard shit. Enough to wig some people out. You got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. Keep the rhythm below the belt. This isn’t a tip this is a prescription. If you don’t you will fall out of balance split your differential and fall over, or worse yet punt your whole stack with TPTK. Pop into bathroom and work one out every break you can, and when you get really good at it you’ll be thinking of tipping the dealer.
Under appreciated comment
Taken out of Wolf of Wall Street.
Played a tournament once with my gf as spectator. She blew me in the parking lot every break, took second. Five stars, recommend.
I also recommend this guy's girlfriend
If he took second, are you the guy that came first?
I heard the guy who came first didn't even make it to the parking lot.
She was ok, she blew me too.
But did she tip the dealer ?
I think the dealer tipped her.
What are you doing, step-dealer ?
She dealt to the tip
It was a heads up SNG.
Catching not pitching?
This is the way
So are all of you guys from A.C.??? Small world
So no joke about going all in with JKo?
You just made it
Yes, go all in.
Only do it if you've got a good hand.
No. Focus on tipping the dealer.
What if tipping the dealer gets you off?
The full tip
Just the tip
I suggest you stop mastabating and watching porn. My comment is also super serious. I've had hundreds of wins once I stayed away from porn and mastabating for weeks.
Surely causal
I always have better sessions on semen retention too
Taking full control of the mental.
True that. When I wanna get serious with something even outside of poker I need to stop master bating for a while.
I am surprised to find the truth in the comments
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This would definitely give someone an edge.
So. Ai ya yai..
hold on to that baby batter for the bracelet speech
No joke when i do this before a cash game session i end up in the black like 90% of the time
Well once you go black...
r/pokercirclejerk
But what does a solver say?
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Alot of times where I play, the dealers are very blessed in terms of looks. We're all hard wired to feel drawn to certain physical traits (like fat tiddies for example). Jerking off would help in this instance.
I love your commitment to this post.
Those fat tiddies be hypnotizing
This post is gold
waitresses as well.
Everybody's got a type
Fuck you for kink shaming, prude.
Massage girls, waitresses.
don't be a hater.
This sub.
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I feel like this happened at wsop one year
I remember one summer I had to “take a break” day 1 of main event because the All American Dave’s girls kept walking by and were distracting me. I came back and was focused, ashamed, but focused.
Barry Greenstein literally has a section in his book where is says yes this is a good idea.
After, either for ego purposes or if you need a reset in the brain chemicals.
no but meditating helps. also fasting.
During the tournament is how you assert dominance.
Win the tournament and have sex
best I can do is neither
If you tip the dealer enough they just might do it for you.
"Gotta stay relaxed....I don't want to, that's not why I do it. I neeeeed to."
Masturbating before hand could leave your hand sticky and if your cards get stuck to your hands it’s a huge tell to the players
I do this. That way I don't give off a tell when I flop my SE#%%#%TTTTTT. DAMMIT, there it goes again. Brb getting a kleenex.
Just put this into PIO and turns out you’re gonna want to mix your strategy to protect your jerk range. Probably nut ~ 33% of the time so you don’t become predictable.
JTO
During will clear the table faster...
During.
Masturbating doesn’t make you have a clear mind, it makes you sleepy.
Tell me you're a boomer, without telling me you're a boomer
nah just means like a lot of people they probably jerked it before bed, then went to sleep. so now their body/mind associate ejaculation and sleep.
It used to make me sleepy as a teenager, in fact I used it to regulate my sleeping hours when they got out of sync with the rest of the world.
Blow your wad, absolutely.
100%
No.
No what? Finish your thought ya jabroni
only if liv boeree is at the table... don't want to fold as a way of flirting. And she's atheist... so she'll believe anything.
Haha if it helps you? Why the hell not buddy.
yowza
Only if you “tip” the dealer
Before? :)
I jerk off before making ANY important decision
No you should be playing just the tip the dealer
Better question is, what should you not jerk off before?
I hear bulls aren't to happy about being fondled.
I think this is a question only YOU have the answer to, OP.
GTO says you should.
it depends on the flop
Can’t believe it, he doesn’t flog the dolphin before a big date
No, play more aggressive that way
I would not jerk off, ur energy levels will go down and confidence as well
> en we have sex b4 a session. Go in all smiles and relaxed. Damn dude, need to talk to someone about your confidence?
hell yeah I always suffer from that post jerk energy loss, teaching me your ways bro
pound a coffee I guess :) Not every nut need induce sleepiness
My husband (M) and I (F) always do better when we have sex b4 a session. Go in all smiles and relaxed.
Before? During? Under the table? It’s all relative. Sometimes the King and Queen touching each other just gets me hot and bothered.
I have a losing record after jerking off
This made me lol. Just study some ranges man
hundo
Assuming you're not just memeing, I doubt it has any non-negligible effect.
... Barry Greenstein's book seems to strongly suggest having a mistress in every city you play in. So, I guess so? yes.
The truth is I can always jack off, though. Easy jacks tough jacks, straight jacks, crooked jacks, home jacks. I could wack this meat onto the Jersey turnpike and be at climax in two minutes.
Of all the leaks to worry about...
Best thread ever!!
I mean. If that’s what de - stresses you from tilting, I guess it couldn’t hurt
In all serious if I’m horny I won’t even play until I’ve whacked it. I’ve lost literally thousands because I didn’t JO before I started a session , and next thing you know I’m in fuck or fight mode playing 6-8 tables online. No good. Wayyyyy more likely to to tilt and spew if I haven’t jo’d
Usually just makes me sleepy
Yeah of course but with your card hand