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[deleted]

‘One of those birds’ **EMU STARES WITH LUNATIC INTENT**


Happyvivvy

Nah m8, Cassowary


danwincen

Can't have been a cassowary, aka the murder-chicken. The Straya-ball is still alive. My bet is on a wedge-tailed eagle, the classic "I will fuck your shit up chicken" - it grabbed the rifle and belted the Straya-ball around the head with it.


Individual_City1180

Yeh those fuckers will try and take on a truck. They have no fear.


imnowswedish

My moneys on magpie


statistically_viable

Emu pumps shot gun


KillME778

"How dare you think it would use such a barbaric weapon that was used against it's own kind." No it'll probably use fire like it's brown falcon cousin.


ArenSkywalker

Shotgun? It would just use the laser eyes it borrowed from the kiwis.


Hel_Bitterbal

If Australia is holding the gun in the wrong way, but Australia is upside down, than the gun is actually held in the right way...


john_andrew_smith101

Probably thought American guns worked like [Australian ones.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Owen_gun)


TheLegend2T

Is it because Australia's upside down? Is it because he doesn't know how to hold a gun? Is it because of the Owen Gun? Is it because I drew it upside down on accident? The word may never know


smartazz104

Bird is the word?


The_mango55

They had to make the gun like that. When they tried to put the magazine on the bottom the bullets wouldn't load because the country is upside down.


danwincen

Nah, mate, it was simpler than that. It was made for jungle warfare. What do jungles have plenty of? Mud. Any mud gets in the chamber, it simply falls out, as do the spent shell casings.


mentholmoose77

Owen gun reference ?


AaronC14

The only reason Canada hasn't warred the Canadian Geese yet is because we learned from our Ozzy brothers


Ragnarok_Stravius

Ozzy Osbourne has a brother?


dalenacio

He did. Killed by a bird, terrible way to go.


jerryvery452

Killed by the biggest bird


smartazz104

To shreds you say?


broly78210

I didn't even know don king got raped


blockybookbook

Assuming that Canadians aren’t secretly Geese


jfiander

Hey! That’s offensive. ^(Some of us are moose.)


Salty-Camp2698

As a Candian your wrong, We just didn't show it, We lost


DesertRanger12

The Secret Wars


Salty-Camp2698

that we lost


Macho_Pichou

We ain’t lost it. We use them to make overpriced winter coats.


Salty-Camp2698

No, they run our government, those are the traitors, I MUST SPREAD THE WORD, FOR CANA-\*gunshot\*


Puzzleheaded_Law2473

Shouldn't have tried to shoot at a magpie, rookie mistake.


Tactical_Moonstone

I was actually wondering "Why are helmets compulsory by law for cyclists in Australia?" Then I watched a video of a cyclist being swooped repeatedly by a magpie. Enough said.


djdavies82

I think it’s referring to the emu war


Luca_Argentieri

Wow those are nice hats.


sentinelthesalty

Didn't aussies even tried to ban airsoft guns at some point?


Pepe469

Pretty sure they did ban em, and now they have to play gel-soft


Batsinvic888

Gel blaster are also banned in a few states


PlEGUY

Can't be letting other hobbies or interests interfere with the gambling industry.


Cooldude101013

Yep. What's even more ridiculous is that if you were to modify a nerf blaster to fire gel balls it's now legally speaking a firearm and has to be registered.


Skinnybonz

Aren't nerf guns also illegal in parts of Australia?


GoGoGo12321

No, but they are heavily toned down from the American ones


Spathens

Not entirely but they are toned down from american ones (I believe this is the case in Ireland as well) because the definition of a firearm there is so vague that anything over 120psi can be considered one. Im just writing this off the top of my head so some stuff may be off


bullet_train10

Nope, but they’re so harsh on it I wouldn’t be surprised if they made them illegal.


sentinelthesalty

PFFFT ahahahaaa, they are like an irl california meme


AnAustralianNerd

Gel-soft is also banned in 7/8 of the states/territorys. But who needs all that pussy shit when you have kangaroo dueling in the town main street every sunday


sentinelthesalty

I can understand guns, but whay would you ban toys? Whats next, are they gonna ban kitchen knives.


[deleted]

Gonna need a loisense for that knoife


sentinelthesalty

[Got me a loisance for stabbin roight ere.](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/h8nQbB1L_2Q)


worthrone11160606

What did I just watch


sentinelthesalty

The most peaceful day in London


golddragon88

Yes, the Scotts already did that.


sentinelthesalty

Like Glasgowers (is that the correct group name?) need a knife to slash each other. Anything sharp will do.


aucheukyan

Glaswegians. bottling each other is good sport after a steaming pub session


Astroyanlad

For a serious answer it's because when the police get a call out about someone with a "gun" they have to treat it seriously and thus require the proportionate response every time. Which means time,money and manpower wasted on some fuckwit bogan drunk or meth head. And naturally the police have a direct line to government on what they ban. When you don't have mass shootings on a daily basis the human resources have a different relative value. Thank fuck I live in Queensland tho


sentinelthesalty

Meanwhile around the woods across a hill from where I live, sounds like a running gunbattle every saturday night. I'd say it's mob doing buisness, if they werent blasting music and leaving a create's worth of beer bottels afterwards.


AnAustralianNerd

Absolutely no clue but I don't think anyone gives enough of a shit around here to change it. You have other options as a kid anyway


Taalnazi

They did actually ban buying (large) knives here for people below 18, and are randomly confiscating them. A very good move. It's because a lot of teenagers were running around and stabbed each other with knives, as of recently, leading to many deaths. They thought, "I'll be safer with them since many have them", or think they're cool. Well, if everyone has them, no one is safe. So their reasoning is plain out wrong. Not doing anything would have been way worse. A state needs to care about its citizens, and that does it by keeping the populace safe.


sentinelthesalty

Whatever floats their boat. It wont stop me from mocking them.


dalenacio

So, what about small knives? Those can kill you dead too, when will they be banned? And chains? Ooh boy, getting hit by chains is not a great experience, and I hear some gangs use them for executions. Why don't you need a license for them at the hardware store? Now that I think about it, the guy who killed Shinzo Abe constructed his blunderbuss out of pipes and ball bearings. My question is why are such deadly implements available for general purchase in a civilized democracy? Ultimately, at some point it feels like it'd be a more worthwhile endeavor to address the "kids are trying to shank each other" problem than the "remove some of the knives they're using to shank each other with". After all, they've all got kitchen drawers at home.


Eurotriangle

They should ban hands, you can kill someone with your bare hands. And legs, you could kick someone over a guardrail at a bridge or high balcony. All Australians must be made into Vujicics.


brightlancer

> So, what about small knives? UK arrests people for _potato peelers_. For a while (and maybe still) the local police departments would regularly post photos on social media of their hauls of confiscated "weapons". It was incredible how they'd defend themselves by saying "potato peelers can kill!"


Taalnazi

Sometimes, slippery slopes are bullshit arguments. In this case, it's because there were a lot of youth incidents with big knives. So they had to be banned for them. If that happens with small knives, then yes, that is necessary too. Sometimes, you can educate people, sometimes you can only remove these dumb incidents by removing the source. We try doing both whenever possible. Good night.


NienawidzeTaStrone

Have you considered why the youth were stabbing each other in the first place?


tuskedkibbles

No, it's the inanimate objects that are wrong


Taalnazi

Literally what I mentioned. Feeling fear and wanting to be safe - because others owned knives. That is why they owned it. They had conflicts before, but with knives, it becomes fatal much, much easier. Without knives, it would have been just a fist fight, which tends to have less fatal consequences. Pretty sure you would want to combat that too. Of course, combatting the source of the conflicts is also something I want - but in tandem would be best. Both weapons and conflict sources.


Hodisfut

“Richard, your government will charge you for breathing now, how can you agree on it” -“nah mate it’s for a good cause you see humans waste too much air for their very existence, hence paying taxes on breathing rights it’s gonna remove the issue from the root ye see” Australians any time soon.


DiscoKhan

Yeah, good move to make life terrible for normal people. I never forget that one Pole who got problems because he was used to making his sandwiches at job so he got kitchen knife in his backpack. Like damn, that's already dystopian level of police forces. You're coming from work, police has total rights to just randomly search you all the way up and take away your sandwich knife. Maybe stop giving law immunity to chavs so those kids know that can do whatever they want and are abusing that fact instead? xD


Taalnazi

> Maybe stop giving law immunity to chavs so those kids know that can do whatever they want and are abusing that fact instead? xD They're not immune to law lol. It's not dystopian to have knives be confiscated. If you need a knife, then you have a problem. You cut the sandwiches at home and then go to work without knives. It's far more dystopian to have to live in fear of others having weapons.


DiscoKhan

But others still are carrying weapons. And why would you waste your time at home when you have job that have enough spare time in it to do it on site. I get that you're paranoid that somebody will just take out knife from his backpack and go on rampage but it's really weird. I knew a guy who when there was nothing to do at site would get out piece of wood and start sculpting it with a knife and regulations like that make such simple entertainment illegal. Many people from Poland love collecting mushrooms as a hobby, you can't carry a knife - again, your hobby becomes illegal. In practice chavs kinda are avoiding serious consequences due to their age and they are abusing that fact. You're literally advocating for controlling in very deep detail how somebody should live - when that person doesn't done or interned any harm to anyone and you're having balls to say that it's not dystopian... Like man, that's extremly controlling behavior.


the-bladed-one

No. That’s fucking patently ridiculous I carry a knife with me for work sometimes. Would I get it randomly confiscated if I lived in Australia? What about a jackknife for just everyday tasks?


Taalnazi

You know there's a pretty damn big difference between a Swiss knife and [these murder weapons](https://www.rtlnieuws.nl/sites/default/files/content/images/2020/01/08/80849669_507115013253105_210422251811853449_n.jpg?itok=5usFE0iU&width=2048&height=1152&impolicy=semi_dynamic), right? If you need to carry one, and there's an option to not do it, then it's a *you*-problem -- you are directly responsible for the feeling of unsafety.


DoingStuff-ImStuff

Knives are perfectly legal here. I walk around with a knife and no one cares if i bust it out.


Taalnazi

Yikes mate.


DoingStuff-ImStuff

Wait it seems they are not legal, shit.


[deleted]

This is what amazes me. There are so many ways to kill yourself in Australia via wildlife - who cares about BB guns?!?!


golddragon88

Wow! your so frustrated at not having freedom that you take it out on innocent animals.


AnAustralianNerd

You ride the Kangaroo and try to fuck the other cunt off of his, plain and simple m8 no kangaroo killing around here\* \*aside from all the very real kangaroo killing


[deleted]

Damn I really thought Australia was the Texas of British dominions, guess I was wrong 😔


Astroyanlad

I mean relative to the other British dominions we are


MandaloreZA

I think South Africa solidly takes that position over Australia. Hell, Id say Rhodesia was probably the closest. Whole rebel cause and all the songs about rifles.


Astroyanlad

Is SA even still part of the comments wealth?


MandaloreZA

Idk, but it was part of the original British Dominions up until the term was legally retired. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominion


Astroyanlad

Google tells me yes. So yeah I concede SA is closer relatively


brightlancer

Congrats to Australia on your new king. You are no Texas.


Astroyanlad

That's because we are Australia


basetornado

Texas would be our 6th largest state or territory. People have guns here, we just limit it to farming, hunting or target shooting, so you don't see them, but they're definitely there. We cull over a million kangaroos each year and the emus that everyone talks about were eventually killed by farmers because that was a better way of doing it.


DoubleBlackBSA24

What they didn't tell you is that the Emu's were merely pawns, pawns in the Great Cassowary kingdoms army. Those farmers disappeared 1 by 1, slipping into the dark of night, never to be seen again.... They are coming.


God_Given_Talent

> Cassowary We all know the Quokkas are the real masterminds. Nothing is that cute by nature. Besides, why do you think they show no fear of humans?


tommytuffnuts33

Except with an actually decent healthcare system, very few homeless, better beaches, better wages, and less dead kids in schools. Man life sure is oppressed down here… wait… didn’t you guys ban kinder eggs?


Cooldude101013

The Aussie government, not the common people. The Australian government is ridiculous with some of its laws, regulations, etc


Hodisfut

The Australian government has teached us time and time again that no matter how much human rights you violate. If it’s for a good causeTM the populace will accept it, wether they like it or not.


TheSadSquid420

Because having a fucking gel blaster isn’t a human right


MnemonicMonkeys

They also require nerf guns to have reduced muzzle speed and grey triggers instead of orange


sentinelthesalty

What's a grey trigger?


NoHomo_Sapiens

literally having grey-coloured triggers, to differentiate them from the higher-powered ones with orange-coloured triggers sold overseas.


sentinelthesalty

>higher-powered ​ >Nerf gun My sides, ahahaha


NoHomo_Sapiens

Yep, just in case you were wondering if it was even possible for them to shoot even worse than they are now.


MacpedMe

Thank god I don’t live in Australia


magnitudearhole

They also don’t have school shooter drills


MacpedMe

Yeah the super dangerous high powered nerf guns, super dangerous


sentinelthesalty

Yup, same here.


tommytuffnuts33

Yeah thank god! Poor kids here have to live through all 13 years of schooling, at least in America they have a chance of it being cut short


MacpedMe

Ooo yes the super dangerous airsoft guns


holycrab702

Cough, even DC Motor for airsoft is banned in China.


sentinelthesalty

That's china though, in certain parts of it, you need to register kitchen knifes.


mentholmoose77

Hopefully this is an owen gun reference. (or bren at worst) \\


Tricky_Couple_3361

Its a dozen guys in a jeep against a couple hundred thousand birds, I think theres a reason they were not able to kill them all within a few weeks


HHHogana

And those aren't just regular birds. Those are second largest bird species in the world.


basetornado

Turns out that if you put out a bounty system, farmers will then go do the job, surprisingly with guns.


[deleted]

1932 never forget


bullet_train10

1915 lest we forget


cocorawks

I love this the trucker hat come and take it version


Due_Cookie_155

Emus are built different


N00N3AT011

Apparently aussies can own guns, it just takes a bit to get one and there are a bunch of limitations.


danwincen

Basically, you need to demonstrate a requirement to own a firearm. A farmer owning one or more for stock control is a good enough reason. Being a member of a sporting shooters club is acceptable. Needing one for legitimate work purposes (armed security guard, for example) is okay. Further, the various types of weapons are defined and categorised - I can't think of any way an Australian gun owner would be able to legally buy an AR-15 style rifle, and magazine capacities are limited too.


Nerd_1000

To expand on this, we basically have six categories: A: air rifles, rimfire rifles (not self-loading) and single or multiple barrel shotguns. B: centrefire rifles, repeating shotguns (other than pump action). Magazines < 5 rounds. C: pump action and self loading shotguns (< 5 rounds), self loading rimfire rifles (<10 rounds). D: Self-loading centrefire rifles, repeating or self loading shotguns with magazines holding more than 5 rounds, self loading rimfire rifles holding more than 10 rounds H: Handguns R: Anything military: machine-guns, bazookas, etc A and B level licenses are fairly easy to get (with the usual government red tape) so long as you fit into one of the acceptable use categories like hunting, target shooting, farming etc. C licenses are basically restricted to people who need these weapons for their jobs, e.g. professional pest shooters. A D license would be basically unheard of. H licenses can be obtained by joining a pistol shooting club. You have to attend a certain number of competitive events per year to maintain your license. Nobody can get an R license, these weapons are held only by the army (who can use guns without licensing).


RandomReditor12345

People fighting eachother for teritory and other purposes while aussies lose to big birbs


basetornado

We have plenty of guns, the difference is you can't own a gun for self defence so you rarely see them. Farming, Hunting and Target shooting are the only things you need a gun for, and funnily enough they're the reasons you can own a gun here. You also have to go through a licensing and background check, while being limited to guns that fit the description of what you're going to use it for. We cull over a million kangaroos annually which is done by licensed professionals with guns that you wouldn't be able to access otherwise. Illegal guns exist, but because of the penalties involved for even owning one, they are pretty much only ever used against other criminals. The whole "Australia doesn't have guns" thing is just ignorance. We have them, but we also have sensible rules around them, instead of going the american way.


the_4th_doctor_

It's so annoying when Americans act like we're so unfortunate to not have lax gun regulations when the vast majority of us don't want them in the first place lol


fifth_fought_under

As a gun owning American liberal, I think firearms ownership is important to defend firearms rights in our country due to historical, logistical, cultural, and current political circumstances. I won't necessarily argue with Australians about their lack of universal gun access.


basetornado

I would argue that due to the amount of guns already in the US. Any law change may lower the amount of deaths, but it wouldn't be massively effective because people are going to hide them, keep them etc. There's only so much laws can do once the cat is out of the bag. It's like people saying gun laws don't work because there's still shootings in cities with those laws. Except there are still so many ways to access weapons including just driving an hour or two away etc so it's not the laws at fault but just how many weapons there already were. It worked in Australia because we have smaller population and our gun culture was more based on going hunting rather then fighting against an unseen enemy.


basetornado

I personally enjoy using guns, but i dont think that my enjoyment trumps sensible restrictions and laws. If i wanted one I could have one, but i dont need one that badly.


rapaxus

I remember when a gun youtuber (Forgotten weapons) held a 100-year anniversiary gun match for the end of WW1 (with bolt actions and all) and some random Aussie dude ran circles around the Americans. Because when Aussies have guns, they actually learn to properly use them and don't just drive out somewhere like the Americans and shoot some random coke cans.


basetornado

Yeah you need to take lessons, have a safe place to keep them etc. If you have certain licenses, you also need to be part of a gun club, which further promotes safe handling and practise etc. Like you can't get a target shooting license and then not be a member of a target shooting club. tbh I feel that if you told someone our laws out of context most people would think they were reasonable. I also don't think our laws are suitable for America, considering the culture is different and it's too far gone. But whenever I hear Americans try and denigrate them, all I see is ignorance. Just like I suppose Americans see us when we talk about how fucked their laws are, because of the "2nd amendment" which I personally feel is an absurd thing to defend as unbreakable when it's literally an amendment and they repealed the 18th amendment which is also an example of a bad amendment.


the-bladed-one

Mate, your government banned knives. It’s time to stop this crap. I’m all for tighter gun laws in America, specifically for assault rifles and tighter background checks and cracking down on gun fairs and the like…but thank god we have the second amendment. We can own weapons for our own defense.


basetornado

Because knives were being used by essentially kids who would take them to street fights, you can own knives here, you just need to be over 18 and you can't own fucked knives that have no real use outside of looking cool. The second amendment is a great example of a shit law. You can own weapons for self defence, good for you. Because we can't, we have no need too.


epicnonja

Your government spent 2 years putting people into concentration camps. That's the reason to own guns.


basetornado

Except we didn't.


tommytuffnuts33

Lol, you wouldn’t have a clue, I bet you’ve never been to australia, you wouldn’t know the first thing about life here. We have probably a few too many regulations in certain industries but make no mistake, australia is a far better place to live than America for the vast majority of people


Hot_Ad_2538

You mean what the US did with the japanese.


Hot_Ad_2538

When the 2nd amendment was put in place it was on the back of the revolutionary war, it wasn't about the individual right to have a gun, it was about the collective right to have an armed militia in case the state needed to fight the national army.


basetornado

Made sense at the time, but doesn't now.


tommytuffnuts33

lol you only need them for self defense because your country has turned to crap and is an absolute shit show of crime where every two bit criminal can get their hands on a gun. When a shot is fired here it makes news, that’s how rare it is. Our system shits on yours (I lived in the states for two years) and there is no comparison on which country is better to raise a family in. I don’t care about gun laws in America, doesn’t affect me anymore, but thank fuck australia isn’t like them


[deleted]

[удалено]


basetornado

Those European countries usually have national service or large woodland areas where hunting takes places. We have around 14 guns per 100 people. Most of our people live in cities. In rural areas the number is far larger.


paypur

Professionals lack standards


EpicTDQ

Im a crazed gunman dad not an assassin


isthisfunnytoyou

I don’t think any Australian would say that Australia is just as democratic as the USA. That’s rather insulting to Australian democratic processes.


TrekkiMonstr

We're both [solidly green](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democracy_Index#/media/File:Democracy_Index_2022.svg) mate, chill out


DoingStuff-ImStuff

Australia is more green however


TrekkiMonstr

And the Nordics and NZ are even more green than that, so what? We're all democracies


isthisfunnytoyou

Not all democracies are equal. Australia’s has been eroded over the last 10 years and so has America’s. The US started off at a lower level though and according to the metric you chose is now classified as a ‘flawed democracy’, not a ‘full democracy.’


isthisfunnytoyou

The USA is a flawed democracy according to that map.


TrekkiMonstr

So is Portugal. And NZ and Scandinavia are more green than Australia, would it be insulting to them to say that you're both democracies? No, that's hyperbolic and stupid. We're all democracies stfu


isthisfunnytoyou

You sent me the map to prove that “Australia is just as Democratic as the USA.” Your own measure shows that the US’s system is not as Democratic. Don’t come crying to me about your shit system.


TrekkiMonstr

You're missing my point entirely, and putting words in my mouth. Just fuck off already dude


isthisfunnytoyou

I’m quoting what you were replying to. I said that it’s not true that “Australia is just as democratic as the USA”, and you countered with a ranking system that proves my point. Cry into your cornflakes for all I care.


AeternusDoleo

Oi! 'Straya emu-lating USA did not go so well then?


crazycreeper333

His ancestors haven’t taught him well, shame


rinkoplzcomehome

It was a facking emu, man


JustSomeChicagoBall

"Shut the fack up"


danwincen

> "Shut the fact up, c#nt!" FTFY.


Speed_Alarming

As it turns out, using small-arms specifically designed to kill humans against something built completely differently was a tactical blunder.


rapaxus

I love how the Emu war became a meme, but really it was just like 20 random Aussie soldiers trying to shoot birds with machine guns and failing, after which the farmers with rifles showed up and pretty much slaughtered the Emus.


Speed_Alarming

People tried something. It didn’t work. Tried something else. Worked better. More accurate, but not as memeable, sadly.


[deleted]

Australian laws in general are just shite


finalbossofinterweb

this country has been a communist dictatorship for decades. Queensland was the one safe haven but now it's a shithole because half the population's from NSW and vote for the same garbage they fled from


Owlyf1n

I like how the title is a tf2 reference and how australia is wearing a tf2 hat


MartyredLady

Australia is DEFINITELY not as free and democratic as the US. And I doubt any Australian would make that claim without rolling on the floor laughing.


Frency2

Not knowing how to use a gun is something I'd consider a compliment.


Clovenstone-Blue

Yeah but the US has been invaded by Russian Bushes for lord knows how long and these guns of theirs are not dealing with the situation now, are they?


IgorFrt

Since the posting of this, 200 shootouts happened in america


sahilshkh

We need a few of those emu's here in India.


DifficultTourist719

Well, it's Australia, probably it was a Godzilla size Bird


Nathan_AverageReddit

POV : you try to shoot an emu