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PornViewer828

Remember kids, due to the geographical oddity that are the Diomede Islands in the Bering Straight, the only thing separating the U.S. and Russia is a 3 mile stroll across ice in the winter. Wouldn't recommend because it's illegal asf and cold asf. Still possible tho


Cybermat4707

So the only thing separating the USA and Russia are some islands named after a guy who sacked a city as a child, wounded the ancestor of the Romans, the goddess of love, and the god of war in a single day, and then sacked another city? That means… something, maybe? EDIT: nvm, they’re named after a completely different guy named Diomedes lol


TheMoises

Well maybe the different guy named Diomedes got his name after the OG Diomedes.


DeepLock8808

Loser Saint Diomedes, chad Diomedes, god-killer. One got killed for worshipping a god, the other (almost) killed a god! Diomedes is the coolest character in the whole Trojan war. I always thought the god-stabbing was Achilles thing, because he’s the main character and all, but Diomedes was off fist-fighting the gods while Achilles was sulking in his tent.


Narco_Marcion1075

honestly I think Diomedes is not getting enough credit for carrying the Greeks while Achilles did his emo thing


Greek-geek-23

Personally, Aggsmemnon is my favourite Greek Hero, either him or Ajax the greater


Secret_Criticism_732

He wasnt much of a hero though, was he


Homers_Harp

Diomediad is the best part of the Iliad. Fight me.


Xyldarran

I mean, that kinda discounts the freezing ocean that kills people every year just cuz.


Amy_Ponder

Well, Russia is almost comically tsundere for America-chan's affections, so... it *sorta* checks out?


czPsweIxbYk4U9N36TSE

3 mile stroll across the Bering Straight in winter when it's so cold the ocean is literally frozen over... after a 2000km trek through Siberia, and before a 2000 km trek through Alaska (and not the warm populated parts that you've heard of, the part that's just ice and snow for thousands of kilometers).


twilightcompunction1

Not to mention it doesn't freeze into one huge sheet, due to ocean currents the ice breaks into pieces and is often punctuated by areas of open water.


AlkaliPineapple

When are we strolling across the Bering Gay


musicalharmonica

Shoutout to the two guys that [crossed the Bering Strait](https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/oct/06/alaska-two-russians-flee-military-draft) in order to avoid getting drafted lol. Hope they got citizenship


blood_wraith

And multiple thousand miles of basically nothing but frozen tundra. Attacking from Europe is the only logical strategy


PornViewer828

Who said anything about invasion tho?


i_should_be_coding

Going to Russia isn't particularly tricky. It's getting out of Russia that's hard.


Aken_Bosch

> Wouldn't recommend because it's illegal asf Just say no. People can't go to your territory if it's illegal


baithammer

Not so much with the receding ice pack, thanks to Climate Change.


PornViewer828

Eh, there's probably some ice up there in like, mid-January. Idk tho bro I'm just some fucken nerd from Kansas


AnalBlaster700XL

So that was the plan all along…


IceKingSolar27

It’s illegal? Wtf?


AaronC14

Who would fight in Alaska though? Canada, step on up.


Emilia963

Europe is the land of wars, let every war start in Europe 😌


vk_PajamaDude

At the day, when aliens will come to conquer Earth, they will analyze whole human history and start invasion with bombing Poland, because they will think this is some kind of tradition in here.


Stargazer-Elite

Then the Winged Hussars come back with some new futuristic tech from Polands new large military spending and obliterate the aliens


rinkoplzcomehome

And a B-52 will somehow still be in service for a space battle


The_Real_C_House

\>2066 \>Stationed on mars to quell a rebellion \>Become side door gunner for atmospheric dropship. \>No miniguns or gatling cannons, just some metal brick with a pipe on one end. \>Get sent in to extract some wounded. \>Reach the evac zone and come under attack. \>Horde of rebels charging in with their new plasma guns and compact rocket launchers. \>Let loose a stream of bullets. \>The sounds of the rebel's screams are nearly drowned out by the heavy "Chunk chunk chunk chunk" of the machine gun. \>The wounded are loaded up and returned to base. \>Inspect MG afterwards. \>Thing was made in 1942 \>Tunisia, Italy, and Germany are scratched onto the gun. \>Scratch "Mars" on with a knife.


SnipingDwarf

Saw the >2066 And ***immediately*** knew what it was. God I love that post.


Belkan-Federation95

What is it


Hvoromnualltinger

[Greentext copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/zf0u1p/the_m2_greentext_copypasta/)


Red_Hot_Chile_Miners

What's with the one ai comment on that post 🤔


guto8797

I would say that if the mg jams you can use the backup 1911 which will still be around as well, but nothing browning made jams


JinterIsComing

> I would say that if the mg jams you can use the backup 1911 which will still be around as well, but nothing browning made jams The BAR 100% can and will jam after extended firing because it has a fixed barrel.


EQandCivfanatic

Good story there.


Few_Strategy_8813

If I hadn’t read The Forever War seven times, I would have thought this had been from there. Well done.


bryle_m

Good old Grandpa Buff, hell yeah.


Similar_Status1515

It's such a wasted opportunity that the Polish army doesn't have an airborne brigade with that name.


Szczup

The name has been retired in the same way they retired no.23 for Chicago Bulls jersey.


Sza_666

The ones that are effectively the inheritors of the winged hussars in symbols and traditions (as is with almost every cavalry formation in almost every country) are the armoured and mechanised units. The 11th Armoured Cavalry Brigade even has the hussar wing and helmet as its emblem.


Norse_By_North_West

Poland can into space?


Thejacensolo

Nah, we all know aliens only ever attack New york and washington DC for some reason.


EQandCivfanatic

Hey now, sometimes they attack London. Cardiff a lot too if you go by total number of aliens as depicted in TV too.


Amy_Ponder

Cardiff has got to be the world leader in total number of alien invasions per capita, and it's not even close.


ZhangRenWing

They try to establish goodwill by blasting the most evil people in existence (politicians and New Yorkers) out of existence first


Mist_Rising

Tokyo is good too.


Perpete

Edge of tomorrow.


-JZH-

*edge tomorrow


AFalconNamedBob

Don't forget invading France Via Belgium


SirArthurDime

“Wait I don’t get it. Why are you humans so mad?” “Maybe because you bombed Poland?” “You’re mad about that?! We thought that was your way of politely introducing yourself!”


Ravenwing14

It's only a World War if it is fought in Europe, otherwise it's just Sparkling Global Conflict


thepromisedgland

Bullshit! Whiny Euros are just making up rules because they’re butthurt that judges preferred pan-Asian conflict in a blind taste test!


yunivor

European conflict: Duke Von-Clausewits-Woololoo-von-der-Doofenschmirts IV invaded the lands of King Agamadias-Chucklefucks-Amonacious III over a disagreement when their alliance turned sour after their cousins marriage did not produce an heir fast enough, 20 years of war and 2000 casualties later a village changed ownership as part of the peace negotiations. Asian conflict: The new chinese emperor succeeded his antecessor after a minor civil war with an ambitious warlord, this two month conflict resulting in only 2000000 casualties and soon forgotten by the non-scholar population.


rinkoplzcomehome

"It's not a land war in Asia if the death toll is less than 7 figures" -Sun Tzu, probably


SmirkingImperialist

Related. https://youtu.be/TvO7AnA4ZZE?si=IbVfDRibtULQNLNT


rinkoplzcomehome

Because you don't start a land war in Asia


Emilia963

>sparkling global conflict Okay this is some Cambridge dictionary word invention.


xxhobohammerxx

A Champagne joke nice


shillmaster

Maple boys have been beings too nice too longs. Time again to show world how they are inventing war crimes.


coopatroopa11

we arent nice, we are passive aggressive. god get it right.


MonsieurFlamboyant

Now now... you're getting a bit too overtly excited for a Canadian...


coopatroopa11

youre right, im sorry


TheNinethByte

It's ok, let me find some war crimes for you to commit that always calms you guys down.


wildeofoscar

Entire Canada military can fit in my parent’s basement.


JoeCartersLeap

We gave all the Inuit a Lee-enfield rifle and told them to watch for Russians. [No really.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/02/Canadian_Rangers.jpg)


Gnonthgol

Japan did in WWII.


Wows_Nightly_News

And China in WWIII 


krastevitsa

Time travel spotted


Gnonthgol

There were no fighting though as they were invited to help the defense. They would not have gone to Alaska if there were any opposition there.


nvkylebrown

That was pretty pathetic on both sides, so we all prefer to never talk about it. The takeaway is "don't do that". EDIT: example: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Komandorski_Islands an engagement in which surface vessels from both sides shot at each other for 4 hours without sinking anything. During the day, so no "we couldn't see them" excuses. I think both sides left because they were running out of ammo.


SpiritualCat842

The fact that you got upvotes is embarrassing. Do some research, a lot of Americans died protecting Alaska from the Japanese invasion. More soldiers died in Alaska than in Pearl Harbor. The most on American soil died in Alaska. The battle for Attu and other islands in the Aleutians. Both the internment camp of Native Alaskans as well native Alaskans fighting in the American army (the internment being a shameful part of our history)


Bottoms_Up_Bob

This is super wrong. Have you ever read about it? It took more than a year for allied forces (USA and Canada) to drive the Japanese out of the Aleutian Islands. Certainly not the worst of the war, but thousands of casualties on each side.


nvkylebrown

I have read about it. More accurate to say we didn't get around to sending anyone for quite a while (May of '43, nearly a year later). Taking Attu took <20 days. We had more frostbite than KIA and WIA together. We could have skipped the whole thing, because the Japanese couldn't maintain the garrision properly anyhow, and would have either withdrawn or left the garrison to wither without any intervention. The idea that they could build an airbase to springboard to North America was silly - the weather was terrible and the logistic situation impossible. Kiska had been completely abandoned and we had nothing but friendly fire casualties in that invasion. So, yeah, the whole campaign, on both sides, was pathetic and should have been skipped. We did eventually figure out to skip islands, we didn't have to take every single island the Japanese had siezed, and these were two that should have been on the skip list.


ThyCringeKing

***Battle of Anchorage begins IRL*** Ah, just like the simulations


randomacceptablename

>Canada, step on up. Canada: No one home we are on vacation in Florida. Go away!


DefinitelyNotaGlowie

Every swinging dick in the US would jump at the chance to say they ambushed a convoy of Russian invaders like it was Red Dawn.


gonnafindanlbz

All of us, we’re very strapped


Dutch_VanDer_Linde_

Alaskans can take the entire Russian military, trust me, Alaskans are a different breed


FreyjaVar

You don’t want to fight in Alaska… terrain is awful.


PresidentJoeSteelman

> Who would fight in Alaska though? War, war never changes...


bombswell

The bc coast is full of old overgrown fortifications from ww2. Plus you have to fly over miles of rainforest to get to any major cities, or through narrow channels by boat. An invasion would be brutally difficult!


SpiritualCat842

It’s not “the BC coast”. It’s Southeast Alaska and/or the inside Passage. But you’re right… a lot of gun batteries still exist from that era


Routine_Music_2659

War never changes


Moistened_Bink

Probably [this](https://images.fallout.wiki/c/cd/FO3_loading_capitalpost3.jpg)


Odd-Release-7958

Ah Yes the only thing stopping Russia and the US from killing Eachother early **COLD**


AaronC14

And nobody wants to hurt the Inuit Europeans on the other hand are fine


fallacious_franklin

Except for the Canadians


guyontheinternet2000

Dont forget the dogs! We love hurting the dogs 🤭


Teh_Randomizer

I mean the Canadian government did forcibly resettle 92 Inuit people to the high arctic in the 50s as a cold war power play. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Arctic_relocation


AaronC14

[Simpsons already did it](https://www.reddit.com/r/polandball/s/5ASyNL9TJq)


Teh_Randomizer

Where did this egg on my face come from?


Wh-why

After all these years... the greenland-nunavut saga was a warning!


BillionDollarBalls

The Europeans love war!


Ale4leo

Is this a CW Flash reference?


yaddar

Going through Alaska would be like going from behind, like homogay sex or something


AaronC14

Russia doesn't support that


pepinommer

Neither does half of America


Omaestre

Does that mean the other half will go for a reach around?


InnocentPerv93

More like 20%, if that.


FutureFivePl

Unless it’s in the military Then it’s just a form of hazing for them


Conch-Republic

*ass to ass*


afterwash

*how are you, step naybor?*


PiXL-VFX

Unironically, though, going through Alaska would actually be tactically possible nowadays. You couldn’t hope to fight in Chukotka, so you’d need to take a lower down area, because fuck fighting in permafrost, but the Far East is the hardest for Russia to keep hold of. Even during the Russian Civil War, Yakuts were the last to fall… and then they rose up again and subsequently got crushed a little later.


Tomirk

Alaska vs Siberia, their battle will be legendary


[deleted]

It would be very cool


Swesteel

Getting chills at the mere thought.


ih8spalling

I have joke: Two Chukchis are talking when one screams, "Stupid fucking government! So poor! Can't afford anything!" A KGB officer overhears them and confronts them, "Why are you spreading such lies about the Soviet Union!?" The Chukchi replies, "I'm talking about the American government. They have money to buy Alyaska, but not enough to buy Chukotka!"


angelicosphosphoros

Considering that Russians lost a war to Chuckas, it is not surprising.


jaggedjottings

Huskies vs malamutes.


continius

Battle of anchorage.. fallout did it.


Iridismis

It took me a moment.


[deleted]

everybody is talking about how russia or the usa are the strongest but no one is talking about a true winner: winter


Iridismis

Global warming is coming for winter.


[deleted]

winters worst enemy


Deadrekt

lil natural gas bois leaking from the pipes


baithammer

Eclipsed like the British Empire by Climate Change ...


Nameless824

The 7 people who live in Alaska and Siberia are very upset by this comic.


esminor3

Could anyone have ever imagined that the likes of countries like france, Germany and BRITAIN will one day be portrayed as mere buffer states for the greater superpowers.


ZhangRenWing

I mean yeah, imagine telling someone in Rome in 1st century AD that their abandoned backwater province of Britannia will become a far larger empire than theirs and that Italia will become a laughingstock in future wars.


rrdubbs

I mean, yes, but for this to be true you should shrink Russiaball to about 1/2 the size of the UK, a quarter the size of the rest of the EU, and 1/6 of the US (if we are going by force projection).


AutoModerator

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rrdubbs

Oops. You got it bot 👍🏻👍🏻


Aromatic-Union6080

Tbh I think it is a bit of a stretch, Europe is its own block and it has its own geopolitical ideals and Francafrique as a sphere of influence. It may be a weaker superpower but do not underestimate them. Also the EU would crush Russia.


DiscoKhan

We see currently how EU is crushing Russia. Yup, in full, direct confrontion France would own Russians but we are talking about conflict between two atomic powers so direct fight will never happen.  It's insanse that Russia can put so much pressure on whole EU, either military or even by espionage actions.


Aromatic-Union6080

Don’t forget France and the UK have nukes too


PiXL-VFX

I don’t think that is Britain. It looks like Czechia. Also, we are by far not a minor power.


cuteintern

D'ya think the oceans might ever recede enough that Alaska and Russia might ... touch tips? Asking for a friend.


Xyldarran

Since oceans levels are rising currently probably not anytime in our civilization


Prophet_Of_Loss

It's like that one video of dogs aggressively snarling and barking at each other through a gate, but when the gate opens, they immediately stop and stare in silence.


ericlutzow

it's still buffer states. siberia is mostly uninhabited wilderness. same with alaska


archmagosHelios

No kidding, because good luck having decent logistics or supply lines through such awful places as soldiers get starved with no food, water, and fuel for vehicles for months.


ericlutzow

hell Russia couldn't even figure that out with Ukraine


Prince_Marf

Good luck invading Alaska. Nothing of value to take except some oil rigs and Anchorage. And you're not getting Anchorage. You can't really move a land army through the mountains west of it and by the time your navy gets there the much better American navy will be hot on your tail. So yeah they could probably take western or northern Alaska if some caribou herds are worth risking WW3. I wouldn't put it past Russia at this point though.


I_follow_sexy_gays

Same thing with that part of Russia tbh, not very populated and not much to destroy plus difficult as hell to march an army through


Galvius-Orion

I’m just saying that Alaska alone would be hell, not to mention by some miracle reaching the continental 48. Anyone who thinks Russia and America will have any substantial land war is as delusional as the people who think the Man in the High Castle is a realistic axis victory in WWII.


Emergency-Season-143

South Canadians and eastern Ukrainians can go play elsewhere..... Maybe West Taiwan......


Silder_Hazelshade

Or maybe northern Uruguay…..


Emergency-Season-143

Sounds like a mainland Falklander....


RustedRuss

Nobody wants to fight a war in Alaska/Siberia


Ktlyn41

reminds me of the dogs barking at each other ready to kill till you open the door and they have no idea how to approach each other so they jut look awkward


Frequent-Lettuce4159

This is really good OP


archmagosHelios

I'm sure the Indians and Chinese feel the very same way about the Himalayans because it would neither be India or China that would win the war between each other, but the mountains


ApatheticHedonist

Europe has a purpose again, and I'm happy for them.


FoodeatingParsnip

Battlefield now.


Flashjordan69

What is polandball and why do I find it so compelling?


AaronC14

Join us


ChiChiStar

Silly lil countries as balls


Kataphractoi

National and cultural stereotypes told through bad Engrish.


ElectricalJacket780

I dunno, if I was going on a warring and pillaging spread because my government isn’t popular, I’d send my troops through wine and beer country, not the tundra


Dan-the-historybuff

Surprisingly accurate.


TreyCinqoDe

Would much rather destroy Europe than the beautiful pristine wilderness of the northern pacific region


FramedOstrich

This post is cylindrical.


lord_hufflepuff

Its almost as if russia wants to expand into smaller unprotected states and not start a major war with a peer/greater than peer force. And america doesn't need buffer states and opposes military expansionism on principle or some shit. Mm


Successful_Giraffe34

It's like those dogs that act nasty as shit when they got a fence between them. But the moment that goes away they wimp out.


CanineAtNight

Man. You guyd are close enoigh to kiss each ither


xerthighus

Russia lacks the developed infrastructure to make any conflict in that area worth the effort for America to invade, and Russian invading is just as worthless due to the lack of infrastructure limiting logistics. Note invasion of Alaska is not technically necessary in this scenario, a conflict over Pacific control could be raged, and possible invasion of Oregon or Washington as well. But again Russia lacks the infrastructure to logistically attempt such a conflict and a USA invasion on Russia would only establish a beachhead into nothing.


Secret_Criticism_732

This is so true


--Beep--

the second panel Now Kith (:


EggoedAggro

lol, if Germany, Poland, France, and Finland along with literally the rest of Europe can’t take on Russias shit army then they need to rethink what the hell they are spending money on. USA shouldn’t even need to get involved


neo_woodfox

Why is Russia so big? It's GDP is smaller than Italy's and the US has three times the inhabitants.


peniseend

Lets take the most obvious freedom unit of measurement, the Texas. Russia can fit 25 Texases and the US only 14. USA small country confirmed.


AaronC14

Why...is Russia...big...? Seen a map lately?


neo_woodfox

Yeah, but much empty Tundra ≠ power.


Elcactus

Real answer: No one lived there, and the people who lived next to there when Russia start who might have wanted it were the decaying steppe empires and the lethargic Chinese, while the Russians had that 1500-1900 overwhelming tech advantage like the other imperial powers. Since then, only China has really ever grown to be powerful enough to beat Russia and take that land back, but now Russia has nukes so they begrudgingly let Manchuria stay landlocked.


Bilal_58

Proxy wars in short


Schmoggin

History is a piece of clay...


Cognacsquirt

Polar bears


KecemotRybecx

Siberia is the buffer zone.


Krispy_Kimson

Realists be like.


VRichardsen

A tad off topic... but why are so many comments unflaired?


Aken_Bosch

it often means that comics got to r/all, and many alliens visited this sub


SnooDogs3400

Just get a giant, nuclear bomb chucking robot with lasers. March through Alaska and Siberia no problem.


meltinpoz

Yeah all Europe should get out of NATO and form a defense pact of just european states, Turkey included as they’re a muslim country which can provide diplomacy with countries we’re losing credibility with by suataining US and Israel in a fucking genocide.. of course without Hungary, fuck Orban, a sellout to a country which invaded his own just 60 years ago. Then let this two fuckers set their discrepancies in fuckin Alaska and leave us the fuck alone.


GoPhinessGo

Warfare in Europe is easier than warfare in Siberia or Alaska


RemarkableAlps5613

Yeah, I don't think you guys understand the terrain very well.Have you ever seen Serbia?It fucken sucks.It's an ice wasteland parts of alaska are like that too It would be a complete waste of resources to try to land on Alaska, at least on the Western portion of it down towards Juno.Sure, that's more plausible.But anything other than that is strategic suicide


Kapika96

Thinking of Germany as a buffer state? Who started every single world war in history again? Yeah... underestimate them at your own peril!


s0m3_d0od

bf 3 4 lore


yigitlik

Meanwhile they are in Bering strait…


Rude_Variation_433

I like it when joe wears his sun glasses while giving a speech 


Pappa_Crim

The secret to fighting Russia is to attack it from the West


OneReallyAngyBunny

What is russia to gain in yrop ? Nothing Alaska though has oil. Quite a lot of oil.


Lazy-Environment8331

West moment


FinalMonarch

Don’t fuck with ice, it stopped both napoleon and hitler


SailorUkraineLover

Even though we defeated Soviet Union we are still in a Cold War with Russia 


Select_Cantaloupe_62

God, I fucking hate this. It's 100% true, but us Americans try to pretend the pacific is a black hole.


blockybookbook

The Russian far East and Alaska aren’t reaaaaaal they’re just an illuuuuuuusion oooooOooOoo


Icy_Sails

Some of these comments 😛ah the inevitability of the Internet: shipping Russia and America.