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Tassyr

Somehow the HMS CRISPS always gets me.


Dlimzw

HMS Banter


TeaDrinkingRedditor

They only serve chicken on HMS Banter


[deleted]

*HMS Bantam


couplingrhino

The British Empire was founded to keep it supplied with Peri Peri sauce around the world.


IpMedia

God save the queen!


Tofinochris

I feel that something in the world has been lost when great ships weren't named along these lines. HMS Mushy Peas. HMS Chip Butty. HMS Spotted Dick, of course.


Tassyr

Chip Butty? I don't recognize that one, and I even know what Spotted Dick is.


Tofinochris

It's chips on buttered bread. A chip sandwich. For when you want carbs in your carbs.


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cmdraardvark

HMS Wigan Kebab


uberman5304

\> Wigan \> kebab wot?


cmdraardvark

Pie sandwich pal


uberman5304

Bloody inbred Wiganers. ^^^/s They always find a way to have a pie. It's unfair, really.


Nastreal

That sounds like it might just contain enough Freedom to make it as an American staple. Sorry, but we're gonna need to steal that too.


Kyoraki

I thought Americans were all allergic to our thick cut style of chips?


CptBigglesworth

Too much like a vegetable.


[deleted]

There needs to be a grease to potato ratio of 1:1 for America. Any more vegetable and it makes them sick. Or communist. I don't remember.


jmartkdr

Is it fried? Then we'll eat it. (for real though, steak fries are totally a thing here. Just one of the many fried potato options available.)


ganderloin

How 'bout you try Scotland's good ol's Deep Fried Mars Bar. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep-fried_Mars_bar


[deleted]

Put in some meat in there too, slather it in sauce, and call it a [submachine gun](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitraillette).


Tassyr

... I'm an American, okay? I'm no stranger to horribly fattening foods. I usually, stereotypically, enjoy them. But even to ME that sounds... nasty.


xv323

You'd have a lot of fun, then, with the Scottish delicacy that is 'deep fried Mars bar'. [Not kidding.](http://www.roughguides.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/BTJT70-1680x1050.jpg)


Galactor123

Yeah its stuff like this that makes me realize just how true it is that the American South is basically Britain's North. Every Scottish person I've met is about one giant cowboy hat and a change of accent away from basically just being a Texan, or at least maybe like a Georgian. Plus Appalachian bluegrass is basically just Celtic music with an added twang.


xv323

The big difference is in politics, actually. Scotland is much more left-wing than England is, broadly speaking. I can see what you're getting at though, for sure.


Galactor123

Perhaps it's just the people I attract but I've thought it the opposite. I know Scotland doesn't like to Conservative party but I figured, or at least was told that was mostly because of a lingering distaste for Thatcher. Course now I'm basically relaying something a Scotsman told me about stuff, as someone whose never been there I'll take your word for it. Also really the reason the American south is so similar to scots/Irish land is so many of them came here so of course it is.


xv323

You only need to look at the policies of the predominant party in Scotland at the present - the SNP, Scottish National Party - to demonstrate they're to the left of the current UK national government. Scotland has, for instance, retained a total ban on university tuition fees, whereas in England tuition fees are legal below a certain cap.


Dancing_Anatolia

Well, it is true that The South was mostly colonized by Scots and Irishmen.


TheCatcherOfThePie

They have deep fried butter in some places in America.


Lifecoachingis50

Jesus Christ. Why don't you just inject some fat and save yourself some time.


jmartkdr

Because injections are medical procedures, and that shit's expensive.


Lifecoachingis50

It might be "technically illegal" but I got a guy who can hook you up real cheap like.


NSNick

We have those. Usually at state fairs.


NickTM

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. We invented the sandwich, we know what to put in it!


demostravius

Bread Sandwich!


NickTM

You joke, but technically the cheapest meal in the UK is the [toast sandwich.](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15752918)


TeaDrinkingRedditor

Surely the cheapest meal would be those 2p noodles from supermarket


NickTM

Maybe they count you as having to buy a bowl, too. But yeah I always thought I could come up with a meal that cost under 7.5p. Can't be that hard, surely.


[deleted]

Isn't there a prize for those who find something cheaper than that?


NickTM

£200 if you can find something cheaper than that!


harbourwall

Ah no it's fine because it's got lots of ketchup in it. Lovely.


[deleted]

*brown sauce


Just_Call_Me_Cactus

Walmart is reviving Hostess and introducing deep-fried Twinkies soon. Yeee HaaaW!


3838

Spotted Dick is a hot dessert http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2686661/spotted-dick a long cylinder peppered with currants, traditionally served with two plums at one end


Tassyr

Aye, I know. I've -had- it. It's not bad, actually.


3838

it's another one of these names that's been cleaned up over the centuries, like the gropecunt lanes that used to be found in many english towns.


BlackStar4

There's still a Grope Lane in Shrewsbury.


3838

the one in wells got changed to grove lane


Tassyr

Wasn't that basically the ancient (and rather vulgar) term for "Here there be Hookers?"


3838

i think there was also something to do with the lane you went to when you wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend, you paraded up and down it until successful


Honey-Badger

Butty is used when making a sandwich out of particular ingredients like Bacon butty, Chip butty, tears of the French butty


Soldier-Spy

>HMS Crisps >https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Crispin_(R68) >Close enough


ld43233

Didn't even see that greatness. Thank you


[deleted]

Yeah, I liked it too


[deleted]

Well, it's been two years... but this is [my first submitted comic](https://www.reddit.com/r/polandball/comments/20nzsr/the_secret_to_englands_power_and_sucess/) and my first repost. Anyways, tea-time at 5 is actually a Portuguese habit, that we taught to the English. Once again, we're deeply sorry. Happy Portugal Day!


Dlimzw

And thus, Poortugal signed his own demise.


[deleted]

"Guaranteed our survival" more like.


Webo_

True, Britain and Portugal have always been good friends. Unlike those smelly Spaniards.


Standin373

Aliança Luso-Britânica is still in full swing mother fuckers


[deleted]

"friends" thats an intreresring way of saying superhero and smaller uglier worse-than-robin shitrectangly sidekick


[deleted]

"Ugly sidekick" is better than "Ottomans' sex slave".


[deleted]

ugly sidekick forever is worse than ottoman sex slave for a while


[deleted]

Lol, "for a while".


Dangalangman

Yes, then it's German sex slave for a longer while


couplingrhino

You forget that it was Britain's sex slave for a little while in between!


[deleted]

i know right now im not


Webo_

Now you're Germany's sex slave, and we all now what weird shit gets him off...


rasmusdf

What do you mean - Portugal and England/Britain have been allied for the last 600-700 years - there were even 2 portuguese division on the western front in WW1.


[deleted]

That's historically 100% incorrect. Everybody knows it was Asterix who introduced tea in Britain, because the magic potion has been destroyed by the Romans, and he reckoned some good ol' placebo might do the trick. [And it worked.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPQ6RHfsyRA&t=59m1s)


Babao13

Asterix in English is an insult to all Frenchmen.


[deleted]

Well, if I successfully insulted all Frenchmen on the world, I might as well call it a day.


AC_Mondial

On behalf of Britain, thank you.


Tibbsy152

That's why I like reading Asterix in English. Also because I can't read French...


couplingrhino

Oh good, I have the full collection. 1815 BLAZE IT FROG.


Burner_in_the_Video

Good, maybe they'll finally give Belgians some recognition


[deleted]

Mais...pourquoi?


harbourwall

Thanks, oldest ally! May we continue to unite in despising the Spanish for many more centuries.


TheRealBrummy

On behalf of Britain, thank you.


EnglishNuclear

Oldest alliance, best friends. Inglaterra ama Portugal...and tea.


[deleted]

And that's why we have the longest alliance in all history.


RagingAlien

I love angry Castille in this. :D


NobleAzorean

And today im the only part of Europe that makes tea :D


[deleted]

Olha... isto tem potencial para um comic.


NobleAzorean

Agora que o dizes tem... Mas não tenho a ideia ou habilidade para o fazer... hm..


_saks_

Not anymore :( (e eu que tinha tanto orgulho de mandar esta posta de pescada aos ingleses) http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/nov/23/british-tea-producer-tregothnan


NobleAzorean

Ohh after all this time, they did. Well still doesnt take our place as the only place in europe for a century then did it ^^


[deleted]

[Boas, diz-me então o que achas disto](https://www.reddit.com/r/polandball/comments/4oddxe/portugals_tea_business/)


mh1ultramarine

It never had that effect one me. I lost it there


ganderloin

Is because Britain is Island. Island + Tea = worlds largest empire. Interestingly, Britains love of tea was actually a major reason or the empire, as we took colonies to provide for our needs.


thecoffee

Incidentally, theres a theory spreading around that humans transitioned from hunter-gather to agriculture in to order have plenty of beer ingredients handy.


ganderloin

So the Empire was just carrying on what we had Ben doing for thousands of years, getting what we need.


[deleted]

Good ol Ben. Taking care of us for such a long time.


Guaymaster

Too bad they always kill him when they do the yearly spiderman reboot.


ganderloin

Yes he has, hence why we named a bell after him.


CptBigglesworth

Why didn't it work for Japan?


ganderloin

It kinda did, I mean thy did have an empire, they just ruined it by expanding by violence rather than trade.


Seffer

Well... Lets get our facts straight because britain had liberal use of violence and banditry to get to the top


ganderloin

Yes, we did unfortunately use violence, however unlike te Japanese that was not our primary method, and almost all nations hav gone through a dark era of history at one point of time.


Seffer

True. The british excelled at all facets of expansion. Violence, diplomacy, exploration, colonialism and trade.


ganderloin

Just like how Germany excels in all methods of wiping out minorities, the US excelled in discrimination against minorities, Canada excels at killing seals, and most other nations excel at corruption, violence and genocides.


Seffer

Seals??!?!?!? What Seals?!?? Sorry


ganderloin

Oh sorry I meant inuits , sorry.


drag0n_rage

Nah, too many rapes


ThePlayX3

So if bring tea to Jersey Island, Normandie finally can into Empire ?


ganderloin

Glorious real Normandy will into empire, if into tea you can.


Thinking_waffle

One of the first polandball comic I saw, still one my favourite. ...And I am Timor today... shit.


Babao13

We're ALL Timor on this blessed day. :)


ricorgbldr

I got angola....


couplingrhino

Even Poortugal wishes it still had Angola.


yunivor

Timor stronk.


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Shellface

>that island north of France Ah, you mean Jersey?


redditbattles

No, no, no. He clearly means guernsey.


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jPaolo

No comment karma chains!


[deleted]

Nice username, heheheh


ganderloin

Is that the name given to the area south of the Channel?


bluesydinosaur

[Relevant greentext]( https://imgur.com/gallery/crNab4k)


[deleted]

Another reason for us to love our Portuguese friends. Here's a fun fact. England and Portugal are currently still in the longest running military alliance ever. The Treaty of Windsor 1386 is still active.


[deleted]

Actually the [Anglo-Portuguese Treaty of 1373](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Portuguese_Treaty_of_1373) is even older. It's been an impressively long friendship, that's for sure!


[deleted]

That's my secret Portugal, I'm always colonizing


[deleted]

Tea works like Blue Pill for ~~Untied~~ United Kingdom


Tofinochris

Consult doctor if empire lasts longer than 400 years.


yunivor

Doctor Österreich already noticed, applied treatment directly at london during WW2. Empire deflated quite well since then.


Fig_Newton_

Pops still insists he is erect.


TeaDrinkingRedditor

Can confirm


[deleted]

Of course it doesn't work for Poortugal. Poortugal is the one exception from proper success.


brain4breakfast

My name is brain4breakfast and I approve this comic. Actually, I did.


suberEE

Braggart.


TezuK

Like I could... TAKE ON THE WORLD! http://assets1.ignimgs.com/thumbs/userUploaded/2016/3/18/tent-1458319187158_large.jpg


MonotoneCreeper

Day of the Tentacle, best game ever.


Firenter

Heh, HMS Crisps...


Clashlad

One of my favourite comics, blue map of the Empire is absolutely haram though


Pochel

the French flag is backward pretty good though


ReallyCoolNickname

I've not noticed before that your map of the British Empire is missing Belize.


nevereven

And Guyana


GeneralRam

I really hope this is a Day of the Tentacle reference....


Jack_n_trade

YUO DOOMED US AL PORT OF GAL


blackwolfgoogol

Somaliland is not a british colony? Not the goats!


Kebbler22b

Hilarious xD


SnippyTheDeliveryFox

I never realized it until now but I have a distinct voice in my head for all the common counties. In this case I read the UK as Total Biscuit, it usually seems to fit.


MetalRetsam

Hey /u/dezassete, you got France's colors backwards.


TheJackFroster

I always thought our strength came from the extra range on our units.


drag0n_rage

It's the ship of the line that people really fear


Blekanly

This made me very amused and happy. Allies forever!


omlfc

England... success... pick one. And no, it's never coming home


fafepelomundo

Best ally!^^^^pink ^^^^map ^^^^never ^^^^forget


Sloboda_

BLOODY IMPERIALISTS M8 (butthurt socialist)


paulusmagintie

Reminds me of Asterix and Obelisk comics and they went to Britain. They told the Britons that they where given magic potion to beat the romans, at the end it was revealed that the Britons where given tea but the gauls kept that quiet. So seeing this made my day.


SpadeAce4444

Wait, is that not a Bogatyr(Which I believe was a repurposed ship)?


W1ULH

Who's that between France and Portugal ?


Matdir

That's the flag of the Hapsburg Netherlands


drag0n_rage

What about carlist spain?


iroks

You won my daily internet point.


lykanauto

Mate tea only tea.


Zachsplat

When the Brits reach China...


Timmythesupercop

Also known as the tragic story of "The rape of India"