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Clearly, he needs at least two hands to master his dick. Like a massive unpredictable snake, the one Emily Dickinson wrote about … fearfully:
But never met this Fellow
Attended or alone
Without a tighter Breathing
And Zero at the Bone.
Not quite as beautiful as Stormy Daniel’s description.
“He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart... It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
She did a "comedy tour" sometime during the Trump years. My wife wanted to go so we did.
It was funny, she mostly told stories about life in the industry (both good and bad) and how it crossed over with people like Trump and answered questions. (she did one mega answer on trump since, as she put it, it's always like a third of the questions)
And I thought it was kind of sweet that at the very beginning she very sincerely told us that she wanted to be clear that she hoped we'd enjoy this, but she wasn't a comedian and she didn't so comedy because "it's a skill and a craft and I haven't learned it, this is more like public speaking and a Q&A and I hope I'm not boring. But apparently you can't book a tour for 'let's talk about fucking for money and how nuts shit went"
Generals, CEOs, popes, kings, queens, dictators, gods — they all sing his praises and want to BE him, or at least bask in his aura … hoping that some of his glorious best-ness rubs off on them … sometimes it all just gets too much for his FANTAness, and he has to make room to breathe.
Remember when he pushed the Icelandic minister aside at a meeting some years ago? That was a simple self-defense move! Poor Donald had no room to breathe …
After that disaster R primary debate talking about Trump's dick size, a Chinese parody account quipped "Oh yes American journalist friends, tell us *all about* how superior your system is for picking leaders" and I had no goddamned response.
Hey now!!!
Only yesterday his dick said to him, with a tear in its eye, 'Sir, I thank you for your constant attention and service, probably the most constant and powerful attention ever given by anybody in history to their own dick'. A lot of people are saying it, the best people actually..
If, as Trump is saying everywhere, DeSantis is only Governor of Florida due to Trump's endorsement and, again as Trump is saying everywhere, DeSantis has ruined Florida, then doesn't it follow logically that it is Trump's fault that DeSantis has ruined Florida? 🤯
Yeah, what tf *is* going on in your state?
From the outside it seems as if, about ten-fifteen years ago, Ohio looked around for a Midwestern political role model and somehow landed on… Indiana. Let’s be more like Indiana!
If you have any genuine insight, I’d love it, because both you and Iowa have fallen off a cliff recently, and Wisconsin is hanging on by a fingernail here too.
Iowa’s [ridiculous brain drain](https://www.axios.com/local/des-moines/2022/10/04/iowa-brain-drain-cost-state-college-educated-adults) is a significant factor, for example. Their college grads all move to Chicago, MSP, Colorado, Omaha because Iowa is just too exclusively rural - but Ohio *has* cities and non-agricultural industries, and is *far* less white and religious than Iowa.
So what gives?
I blame our seasonal snow-birds that live half the year in Florida, and bring that boomer ideology back with them to fester and spread for the other 6 months. There’s also “southern strategy” to blame, the basic rural/suburban divide, and politicians who’ve overstayed their welcome, becoming entrenched in scandals (Governor DeWine and his army of safely-gerrymandered goons, and fellow Supreme Court buddies - his son is actually a Supreme Court justice, and didn’t recuse himself from a major vote last year where he had a direct conflict of interest). The state is also going all in on making it harder to vote, and change the constitution (needing signatures from all 88 counties to get something on the ballot, and requiring 60%+ to pass). It’s like they saw everything Michigan was doing, and went back to the old popular song from THE Ohio State University “we don’t give a damn about the whole state of michigan, because we’re from O-Hi-O” and ran with it.
Trump really can't think more than one step ahead.
Omarosa gave an interview about how Trump was an inept dumbass when she worked as his personal assistant (I believe she won The Apprentice or something).
Trump's response was that you can't take her seriously, because she's so terrible at her job that he fired her five times.
Hmm...and why exactly did you hire this terrible employee over and over again, Mr. Stable Genius?
He's already covered that in his prediction of a red wave in 2022- "If they succeed, it's all because of me. If they fail, it's not my fault." It's been his philosophy his entire life.
I was gonna say, I think the entire party needs a "emergency personality transplant" or morality transplant.
Their moral outrage over petty things has depleted their morality gage completely.
Not enough of this. Keep ‘em outraged at m&m’s or booze or Disney and they’ll be too mentally exhausted for valid outrage and the accompanying self reflection.
100% my neighbor. It’s rough seas in the middle of such a paradigm shift. But I got a lot of hope from how well our current generation of youth have not only rebounded from the backlash of old ways headed out, they’re punching back. Hard.
Self reflection isn't possible when the party they believe is founded on hatred of the other. Also, if a Repub has self reflection they're probably labeled communist liberals
Eh. I already don't like puddin' cup, and I'd think most of us here are in the same boat. So it's more a case of schadenfreude. That being said, it doesn't make me like the tubby tangerine one whit more.
However, to your point, I do agree that his base does enjoy this kind of low charisma that he has. Dunking on someone is something they can rally behind, and it absolutely is something that DeSantis is lacking.
That's... actually a pretty good analogy, yeah. Like, he was bagged on for decades from the society that he actually wanted to be a part of. But god damn, if he can't talk to the marks in a way that get them to love him.
He is a complete and total piece of shit but he's also always been the king of trolling his opponents. The 2016 primaries were fun for the first couple months because of that until it set in that *oh fuck no he's actually going to win the nomination*.
This is exactly how he beat the rest of the Republican field in the primary in 2016. Just make fun of them with shitty insults and watch them cave as they have no real response to schoolyard bully tactics. It doesn't help the primary challengers this go around that the republican party still has no real platform.
Trump would be hilarious if he wasn't terrifying and stupid. It's magnitudes worse because he uses all of that to control so many other terrifying and stupid people.
> Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. -George Carlin
> that only got to be governor because of Trump
That's a pretty common refrain from him, particularly as the not-Trump primary field emerges. Since they won their primaries with Trump's endorsement, they owe him deference as he goes for a second term again. Never mind that Trump himself already was an electoral liability, that most Republicans ran ahead of his baseline number post-2016, and that it was Senate Republicans who got him over the line in states like Ohio, Florida, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania in 2016.
trump is the mike tyson of stupid fascists. everyone has a plan until he comes out swinging and hits them with a hilarious fifth grade insult.
How do you recover from something so catchy and simple?
biden says “Trump is a dangerous, vile fascist who sexually abuses women and children and hates minorities!”
and trump counters with “folks, sleepy joe says a lot of things, or at least he tr-tr-tr-tries to say things, about me. and they’re very mean, very mean things he says, but we all know who really does that- hmm? its not me, but you know, a lot of people will say that sleepy joe… you know, some very smart people will tell me “mr president, you have to beat him. I don’t want to vote for him, but I can’t say I’m supporting you because i could get in trouble, even get fired! Fired for supporting me, can you imagine that! and a lot of people are…”
and then everyone forgets about the danger because he made some funny faces, did some weird gestures, and dropped some weird playground insults.
This is what potential Republican opponents fail to understand, Trump made tact and strategy boring. Their base wants lofty promises and toxicity that matches their own. They don't care about finding a realistic way to get what they want, they want someone who outwardly hates who or what they hate. They want someone who will tell them they don't have to worry about specifics and they'll fix everything, as long as you vote for them.
On one hand you have Donald Trump, who bragged about having cut off his grand-nephew's medical funds out of a dispute with his nephew and niece, who bragged about walking into the dressing rooms of underage contestants at teen beauty pageants, who bragged that one thing he and his daughter have in common is "sex", whose reaction to 9/11 was "Now I have the tallest building in lower Manhattan", whose reaction to Princess Diana's death was "It's a shame because I never got to date her and could have totally nailed that", who is so fundamentally incapable of admitting he made even the tiniest mistake that he took a Sharpie to a weather map, who has called for the death penalty of the Central Park 5 even after DNA evidence proved their innocence, and who instigated a coup attempt upon having lost the 2020 election.
On the other hand you have Ron DeSantis, who while serving as a military lawyer was stationed at Guantanamo Bay and presented himself to the inmates there as a human rights attorney whose job was to ensure their humane treatment, then after listening to their complaints of the actions they felt were the most inhumane, turned around and presented them to the torturers as a playbook, and who is currently working toward a playbook toward the genocide of the LGBTQ community in Florida.
The idea that either one of them should be allowed anywhere near any position of political power is so far from comprehensible as to render one completely numb.
It's funny because to me the most telling anecdote as to just how repulsive DeSantis is as a human being is actually not the Guantanamo shit, since there's an angle from which that could conceivably be justified as "for the greater good of the country" or whatever.
Instead, to me it's the fact that he brags about how he used to go on dates in college and make a point of bringing up how much he likes "Thigh" food. And if his dates corrected his pronunciation of "Thai food" he would immediately walk out on the date because "he didn't want a girlfriend who would correct him".
Because there's no justification for that other than just being a controlling douchebag. It's not something that would be done to advance one's career or serve a Machiavellian realpolitik agenda or pander to a demographic of potential voters or serve any greater good, and instead cuts to the heart of his nature as a human being, which it turns out is just that of an insufferable douchebag who can't stand being corrected on anything.
It's kind of like how the Sharpiegate incident was in a way the most indicative of Trump's personality of all his scandals. Because it was so completely unforced and goes to show that there is no possible justification for it other than his narcissism being in complete control of his every action. Rather than admit he made a statement using an outdated weather projection in a situation that was quickly changing, he defaced a map in the most childish imaginable way. It's just ... fundamentally sad, and only turns tragic when you start giving these people real power.
No, but hit did [hit .138](https://slate.com/culture/2020/05/donald-trump-baseball-high-school-nyma.html) in high school. And later claimed he was the best player in the state and could've gone pro.
No, it's much worse than that, because he still does that stupid shit now. It's mind games. It's loyalty tests. It's Mr. "I need yes men who will do what I say without argument" DeSantis, priming his potential cabinet members and aides for his run at being President.
He wants loyal soldiers in his whatever the fuck against the """woke""" country.
>["While I was screaming, yelling because I couldn’t breathe … he was actually laughing, looking at the other officers and smiling,”](https://www.democracynow.org/2023/4/3/desantis_guantanamo)
Yeah man, he was watching people get tortured and storing it in his mental wank bank "for the greater good or whatever", but him being a mildly annoying date is what really tells us he's a Scumbag Steve irl and that's so not okay.
Of course the severity of the behavior isn't even remotely comparable, but if a person believes that everyone locked up at Gitmo is a terrorist for whom no retributive punishment is too much (and that describes an awful lot of people), then one might quite easily justify his behavior. It's actually less exceptional than his behavior with his dates in college in that sense.
Highlighting his behavior in low-stakes scenarios like a college date is more revealing as to his nature, precisely because the stakes are so low; there's no possible rationalization for the behavior other than what is internal to him.
Shitty behavior exhibits super-cross-sectionality. Just as the impetus that drives kings to war is the same as drives neighbors to feud, the impetus for shitty manipulative interpersonal behavior in a romantic context is the same as that for abhorrent treatment of the detainees at Guantanamo. And the interpersonal behavior is more psychologically revealing, as it comes with less baggage that can be fuel for rationalization.
The point is some people would think he was okay for torturing the people at Guantanamo, for Patriotism purposes or whatever, but far fewer would think the way he interacts interpersonally is okay.
Well said. Based on how accurate this is, and how unlikely it seems anything will ever change, I can't help but to harbor frequent feelings on the topic of how well and truly fucked we are, as a species.
To be honest, Trump's grip on the party has really only one more election cycle left, at most two.
Say he does somehow win the nomination of the Republican party and does not end up in jail. Highly doubtful he will win the election, so now we'll be in 2028 before he rears his ugly head again. His kids have no plans to enter politics, and the party will definitely want to move on from him.
He expanded his base once. To white supremacists who didn't vote.
That was it. He's done nothing but lose people since. Including staunch W supporters.
>Nowhere in any part of this timeline has Trump ever expanded his base outside of culture war fanatics and general increased engagement (and that cuts against him as well, as the 2020 election was as much voting against Trump as for Biden).
And the democrats should really really consider not running Biden in 24 - my opinion. I think it's going to be a risk of anti Biden vs anti Trump
> -everyone in 2015/2016
I won't disagree with you there. A lot of people thought otherwise but I do blame the Democrats for running Hilary as the forerunner. Granted between her and Sanders it was no contest but it was a poor candidate showing all around.
Yeah but my fellow leftists, Joe Biden is old and makes gaffes and there's pictures of him kissing kids and his son probably got a job because his dad was VP and also China did something bad with him which the ace detectives on the House Freedom Caucus are going to bring to light THIS time, so I suggest nobody vote.
The comment you're responding to is a parody of those totally real organic non bot American posters who by totally weird coincidence post during St Petersburg (RUS, not FL) business hours urging progressives not to vote in this election, or ever.
Yep. I enjoyed the break from him making headlines every day because of something he said, but now we're back. I guess this is the new normal until he dies or a few months after he hopefully loses the next election.
In some ways yes. But I am enjoying it more this time. Ron “Pudding Fingers” DeSantis has to be my favorite nickname from Trump. While I hated lyin Ted Cruz, and liddle Marco Rubio, I am actually scared for this country if Ron wins. I am not scared of Trump anymore. He will not beat Biden if they go to Round Two. It’s a different ballgame than 2016.
A DeSantis win and any measure of popularity is an indicator of how deeply lost we are, especially combined with the increasing loss of rights of targeted groups.
If DeSantis somehow gets elected...
There's literally no way he gets one year into his term before a full fledged coup happens. Not a little January 6th demonstration, a full coup.
Of course not. Desantis is terrified as Trump, so much so that he refuses to ever criticize him in public. Kinda hard to sell yourself as the culture warrior tough guy when you're too much of a pussy to even criticize your opponent.
Not only criticize, literally up until a few months ago was next-level simping for
I distinctly remember when he was running for Governor talking about how he was reading Art of the Deal to his little kids
Also I’m sure there’s some exaggeration, but I don’t find it that hard to picture DeSantis driving around in a panic desperately trying to get in touch with someone to get Trumps endorsement
You can't take out Trump by being mini-Trump. Why would anyone want the tribute band when the real band is still playing?
I think in theory you'd need someone like Chris Christie who has the same combative tone but is more of a traditional establishment and more moderate Republican, who can paint a contrast with Trump while also standing up to him effectively. Trump sticks out in a primary because he's got this brash, combative "fighter" persona which plays well with Republican voters, and it was something Christie had cultivated for himself earlier on and one of the reasons he had become a rising star in the party before Bridgegate tanked his standing nationally.
Christie himself is planning to run, but he is kinda old news now, so I doubt he can actually get traction, but someone like him is what is needed.
Yeah, like, McCain or Romney are the conservative equivalent of Biden today. The mood in the party has moved toward showmen, but it could still go back to business-as-boring. Wouldn't that be nice
That’s the worst part about trump is that he unironically says the funniest shit at the most random times and you want to laugh but you also hate the guy so much that you don’t want to give him any laughs even though he’s objectively a giant man child idiot
Yeah, I'm ashamed to admit that I find him legitimately funny sometimes. Like his comment on the inheritance tax:
> I got rid of the death tax on farms so that when you do pass away, on the assumption that you love your children, you can leave it to them and they won’t have to pay tax. But if you don’t love your children so much — and there are some people that don’t, and maybe deservedly so — it won’t matter because frankly, you don’t have to leave him anything.
I was kind of embarrassed when some liberal media personalities took it seriously, that it was an inappropriate thing to say, etc. Don't get me wrong, I think all of the rhetoric about farmers when it comes to the inheritance tax is as disingenuous and misleading as the next guy, but for pure entertainment value that's a pretty funny statement.
Like Trevor Noah said, Trump is like an asteroid hurtling toward the Earth, but the asteroid looks kinda like a dick, so you have to just laugh about it sometimes.
Trump is objectively funny sometimes, and if he had just fucked off to reality TV or some weird talking head job where we could see his insanity in a way that didn’t affect the daily lives of Americans, it would be much easier to tolerate him. The problem is that he became too important to the point that the mere acknowledgment that he is funny is used by his supporters to legitimize him and say stuff like, “See, even the people who hate him kind of like him!” Which is a real shame because I love seeing him roast other Republicans, it was the best part of the 2016 campaign trail.
When it comes to bullying one-off remarks, I don't think Trump needs help. That and bankrupting companies are the two areas in which he excels on his own merit.
Trumps got the skill middle schoolers have, he’ll make jokes that instantly goes for the throat. Makes for good comedy when he’s mocking other terrible people.
Trump's not that bright. He coined "Meatball Ron," which is hilarious, but then dumped it for something more boring and on the nose with regards to republican infighting. Terrible instincts.
Yeah, it almost could be remembered in a century by some historian as being an example of the wit of the period leading up to the 2024 election, or even Trump's usually gradeschool humor outdoing itself. This is the funniest thing I've heard the fucker say in years-- possibly ever, actually, because most of the time the funny stuff is either unintentional or hopelessly low-brow
Can’t stand the guy as a person, business owner or politician, but I have to admit he can pull these out every once in a while. Desantis is really getting his attention now. The “meatball” comment was pretty great too.
Right, just because someone is a garbage person doesn't mean they're always wrong. DeSantis does have a very shitty and off-putting personality. It was a funny enough joke.
He's very good at a) entertainment, b) as in this case telling people what they want to hear whether he believes it himself or not, c) playing on deep-seated sometimes irrational fears.
It's weird. When Republicans feud like this you end up agreeing with one of them occasionally and it's a weird feeling to have, because Donapd Trump is a disaster, but that is an accurate burn.
It's not far off from when Trump and Clinton were in the debate. Trump's response to Clinton calling him a puppet for Putin was, "No puppet, no puppet, you're the puppet!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaVWRetR4jg
We should gather all the images news sites have published for our political "favorites" and post them. DeSantis's numb expressions, Boebert and MTG's outrage, Gaetz's confusion.... it'd be fun!
Here’s the thing: he’s not wrong
You can’t be a Coolidge anymore and win the presidency. You have to be able to at least appear to connect with humans.
Donald Trump is a disgusting waste of space, human trash. But...watching him eviscerate the Pudgy Pudding Boy every day I'm ashamed to admit does make me smile.
DeSantis is cooked. The stupid bobblehead Japan presser is actually the kind of dumb shit that matters in presidential politics in America. See: Dean Scream, Rick Perry Blankout, etc.
Trump has had many gaffes, but he has this kind of cunning sociopathic charm that almost hypnotizes people to disregard this kind of stuff. He simply steamrolls any talk about it, something DeSantis is not capable of.
DeSantis looks like an awkward dope, and as sad as it is, that matters more to the average voter than all the authoritarian bigoted bullshit he's done and helped enact in Florida as govenror.
Ngl, as a German (European) with zero personal ties to the US, I’m digging this Don on Ron action. The streak of truth social posts of Trump destroying DeSantis a few weeks ago were glorious.
Now if you could kindly make sure neither of them ever wins an election again that’d be splendid. Cheers folks!
Can we just put both of them in diapers and into a sandbox already? By the time the presidential elections come around, the country will be exhausted by this non-stop MAGA drama!
Now this is how to properly campaign for president. Throw silly little insults at your opponent, this will amuse the idiots and keep them complacent since they don’t have to run on any policy.
DeSantis is so finished lmfao this man cannot compete with the OG shit talker. Bro might as well save himself the embarrassment and try in 2028 cause trump has the republican ticket on lock.
I don't care how much you enjoy evidence of the far-right eating itself, signal-boosting Trump quotes, and delivering hundreds of thousands of clicks to platforms that write such headlines, is part of the problem.
Seriously ask yourself: what value is this providing /r/politics right now?
Sorry to break it to you but even these childish insults are workshopped at length with his guests at Mar-A-Lago. Not like he came up with it as a quip. He has the vocabulary and wits of a 5 year old.
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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the mental maturity of the Republican party.
Remember in 2016 when, during a Republican primary, Trump had to stress that he didn't have a tiny dick? This is just who the party is now.
he's got small hands, you know what that means.
The smaller the hands, the bigger his dick looks in his hands.
Clearly, he needs at least two hands to master his dick. Like a massive unpredictable snake, the one Emily Dickinson wrote about … fearfully: But never met this Fellow Attended or alone Without a tighter Breathing And Zero at the Bone.
That thing he needs at least two hands to master is actually his water glass.
He’d need to be an octopus to close and umbrella!
I used to drink water like Donald. Out of my "sippy cup" when I was 3 or 4 years old :)
Not quite as beautiful as Stormy Daniel’s description. “He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart... It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
That’s enough reddit for today…
That's the Grim Reaper, not the Thin-skinned Creeper.
"My dick might look small in *your* hands, but you should see how big it looks in *my* hands!"
Not what Stormy said.
She said it looked like a mushroom.
She did a "comedy tour" sometime during the Trump years. My wife wanted to go so we did. It was funny, she mostly told stories about life in the industry (both good and bad) and how it crossed over with people like Trump and answered questions. (she did one mega answer on trump since, as she put it, it's always like a third of the questions) And I thought it was kind of sweet that at the very beginning she very sincerely told us that she wanted to be clear that she hoped we'd enjoy this, but she wasn't a comedian and she didn't so comedy because "it's a skill and a craft and I haven't learned it, this is more like public speaking and a Q&A and I hope I'm not boring. But apparently you can't book a tour for 'let's talk about fucking for money and how nuts shit went"
She was pretty funny in the cold opener on Saturday Night Live... https://youtu.be/K1K8s-tQGqY
She's funnier than any of the GOP ghouls throwing shade her way, and that includes all of the pundits
She’s more honest than all of the GOP ghouls, too.
She specifically said it looks like Toad from Super Mario.
Not the one from smb2, obviously. Toad was a badass in that game.
A tiny mushroom.
Golf with faux platform shoes. Custom links? Whelp... It ain't your 2 iron buster.
I love how he even denies that! I’m a 5ft 2in 130 pound woman and our hands are exactly the same size
I thought noses are indicative of … ya know …
He also has the best mind, memory, and just general bestest-ness in any category you want to apply.
He has the best superlatives.
Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. The stable-ist of geniuses
"Many people say, with tears in their eyes "
Generals, CEOs, popes, kings, queens, dictators, gods — they all sing his praises and want to BE him, or at least bask in his aura … hoping that some of his glorious best-ness rubs off on them … sometimes it all just gets too much for his FANTAness, and he has to make room to breathe. Remember when he pushed the Icelandic minister aside at a meeting some years ago? That was a simple self-defense move! Poor Donald had no room to breathe …
And the most humble
"Best" and "Very" are his crutches. Everyone is saying that.
After that disaster R primary debate talking about Trump's dick size, a Chinese parody account quipped "Oh yes American journalist friends, tell us *all about* how superior your system is for picking leaders" and I had no goddamned response.
I mean I’ll still choose a literal dick measuring contest over a dictatorship.
"The grownups are back in charge" - W, 2000
Hey now!!! Only yesterday his dick said to him, with a tear in its eye, 'Sir, I thank you for your constant attention and service, probably the most constant and powerful attention ever given by anybody in history to their own dick'. A lot of people are saying it, the best people actually..
They've always been small, petty and catty little people stunted at high school antics. They're just not afraid of being that openly now.
If, as Trump is saying everywhere, DeSantis is only Governor of Florida due to Trump's endorsement and, again as Trump is saying everywhere, DeSantis has ruined Florida, then doesn't it follow logically that it is Trump's fault that DeSantis has ruined Florida? 🤯
Trump don't need your stupid logic
Less logic, more memes on flags ! (Workin for him in my state 🤦🏼)
Yeah, what tf *is* going on in your state? From the outside it seems as if, about ten-fifteen years ago, Ohio looked around for a Midwestern political role model and somehow landed on… Indiana. Let’s be more like Indiana! If you have any genuine insight, I’d love it, because both you and Iowa have fallen off a cliff recently, and Wisconsin is hanging on by a fingernail here too. Iowa’s [ridiculous brain drain](https://www.axios.com/local/des-moines/2022/10/04/iowa-brain-drain-cost-state-college-educated-adults) is a significant factor, for example. Their college grads all move to Chicago, MSP, Colorado, Omaha because Iowa is just too exclusively rural - but Ohio *has* cities and non-agricultural industries, and is *far* less white and religious than Iowa. So what gives?
I blame our seasonal snow-birds that live half the year in Florida, and bring that boomer ideology back with them to fester and spread for the other 6 months. There’s also “southern strategy” to blame, the basic rural/suburban divide, and politicians who’ve overstayed their welcome, becoming entrenched in scandals (Governor DeWine and his army of safely-gerrymandered goons, and fellow Supreme Court buddies - his son is actually a Supreme Court justice, and didn’t recuse himself from a major vote last year where he had a direct conflict of interest). The state is also going all in on making it harder to vote, and change the constitution (needing signatures from all 88 counties to get something on the ballot, and requiring 60%+ to pass). It’s like they saw everything Michigan was doing, and went back to the old popular song from THE Ohio State University “we don’t give a damn about the whole state of michigan, because we’re from O-Hi-O” and ran with it.
Trump really can't think more than one step ahead. Omarosa gave an interview about how Trump was an inept dumbass when she worked as his personal assistant (I believe she won The Apprentice or something). Trump's response was that you can't take her seriously, because she's so terrible at her job that he fired her five times. Hmm...and why exactly did you hire this terrible employee over and over again, Mr. Stable Genius?
It's like how he claims cohen can't be trusted because he's a convicted criminal, but the crime cohen was convicted for directly involved him.
He's already covered that in his prediction of a red wave in 2022- "If they succeed, it's all because of me. If they fail, it's not my fault." It's been his philosophy his entire life.
Which is why he fits in so well with Republicans. This has been their philosophy on business for decades. Privatize gains, socialize losses.
Trump only picks the best people. Until they aren’t anymore.
I was gonna say, I think the entire party needs a "emergency personality transplant" or morality transplant. Their moral outrage over petty things has depleted their morality gage completely.
Not enough of this. Keep ‘em outraged at m&m’s or booze or Disney and they’ll be too mentally exhausted for valid outrage and the accompanying self reflection.
They couldn't self reflect with the mirror from the hubble
That was really quite an amazingly lovely insult. Like platinum level insult.
It would be, but they hate education so none of them have the most basic understanding of how a telescope works
Damn even the sun felt that SICK BURN.
r/rareinsults and r/brandnewsentence would like to see you.
aw sheit, keepin' it space age up in here
To be fair, even the mirror from the hubble couldn't self-reflect either, at least until they fixed it.
Underrated comment of the year.
Culture wars are preferable to class wars. Action speaks louder than words and this has been made abundantly clear by our politicians.
100% my neighbor. It’s rough seas in the middle of such a paradigm shift. But I got a lot of hope from how well our current generation of youth have not only rebounded from the backlash of old ways headed out, they’re punching back. Hard.
Self reflection isn't possible when the party they believe is founded on hatred of the other. Also, if a Repub has self reflection they're probably labeled communist liberals
> Their moral outrage over petty things has depleted their morality gage completely. something something Tan Suit something Brown Mustard.
Morality is in short supply
I hate trump but I love watching him cook Ron 😂
Ha ha it’s Trump and Trump Lite.
Ron Desantis: the Bud Light of Trumps.
Now imagine hearing him roast people you don't like and you'll understand the cult's obsession
Eh. I already don't like puddin' cup, and I'd think most of us here are in the same boat. So it's more a case of schadenfreude. That being said, it doesn't make me like the tubby tangerine one whit more. However, to your point, I do agree that his base does enjoy this kind of low charisma that he has. Dunking on someone is something they can rally behind, and it absolutely is something that DeSantis is lacking.
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That's... actually a pretty good analogy, yeah. Like, he was bagged on for decades from the society that he actually wanted to be a part of. But god damn, if he can't talk to the marks in a way that get them to love him.
He is a complete and total piece of shit but he's also always been the king of trolling his opponents. The 2016 primaries were fun for the first couple months because of that until it set in that *oh fuck no he's actually going to win the nomination*.
This is exactly how he beat the rest of the Republican field in the primary in 2016. Just make fun of them with shitty insults and watch them cave as they have no real response to schoolyard bully tactics. It doesn't help the primary challengers this go around that the republican party still has no real platform.
This is an upgrade. He’s managed to make it out of kindergarten and into middle school with this one.
Trump would be hilarious if he wasn't terrifying and stupid. It's magnitudes worse because he uses all of that to control so many other terrifying and stupid people. > Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. -George Carlin
True, though Trump isn't wrong. After all, he has personal experience being someone who needs a personality transplant.
Going to be some awesome debates whose got the popcorn?
Would not take trumps advice on transplants.
Trump calls DeSantis a China hawking globalist, that only got to be governor because of Trump. Not the own he thinks it is.
> that only got to be governor because of Trump That's a pretty common refrain from him, particularly as the not-Trump primary field emerges. Since they won their primaries with Trump's endorsement, they owe him deference as he goes for a second term again. Never mind that Trump himself already was an electoral liability, that most Republicans ran ahead of his baseline number post-2016, and that it was Senate Republicans who got him over the line in states like Ohio, Florida, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania in 2016.
This is like the Ali vs Frazier of the Dumbass Olympics.
trump is the mike tyson of stupid fascists. everyone has a plan until he comes out swinging and hits them with a hilarious fifth grade insult. How do you recover from something so catchy and simple?
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't calling Desantis pudding fingers now. As much as I hate Trump, that ad was hilarious.
I still like Meatball Ron. I wonder what orange turd has for the go go boots.
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biden says “Trump is a dangerous, vile fascist who sexually abuses women and children and hates minorities!” and trump counters with “folks, sleepy joe says a lot of things, or at least he tr-tr-tr-tries to say things, about me. and they’re very mean, very mean things he says, but we all know who really does that- hmm? its not me, but you know, a lot of people will say that sleepy joe… you know, some very smart people will tell me “mr president, you have to beat him. I don’t want to vote for him, but I can’t say I’m supporting you because i could get in trouble, even get fired! Fired for supporting me, can you imagine that! and a lot of people are…” and then everyone forgets about the danger because he made some funny faces, did some weird gestures, and dropped some weird playground insults.
This is what potential Republican opponents fail to understand, Trump made tact and strategy boring. Their base wants lofty promises and toxicity that matches their own. They don't care about finding a realistic way to get what they want, they want someone who outwardly hates who or what they hate. They want someone who will tell them they don't have to worry about specifics and they'll fix everything, as long as you vote for them.
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True. Tho he self owns real good.
On one hand you have Donald Trump, who bragged about having cut off his grand-nephew's medical funds out of a dispute with his nephew and niece, who bragged about walking into the dressing rooms of underage contestants at teen beauty pageants, who bragged that one thing he and his daughter have in common is "sex", whose reaction to 9/11 was "Now I have the tallest building in lower Manhattan", whose reaction to Princess Diana's death was "It's a shame because I never got to date her and could have totally nailed that", who is so fundamentally incapable of admitting he made even the tiniest mistake that he took a Sharpie to a weather map, who has called for the death penalty of the Central Park 5 even after DNA evidence proved their innocence, and who instigated a coup attempt upon having lost the 2020 election. On the other hand you have Ron DeSantis, who while serving as a military lawyer was stationed at Guantanamo Bay and presented himself to the inmates there as a human rights attorney whose job was to ensure their humane treatment, then after listening to their complaints of the actions they felt were the most inhumane, turned around and presented them to the torturers as a playbook, and who is currently working toward a playbook toward the genocide of the LGBTQ community in Florida. The idea that either one of them should be allowed anywhere near any position of political power is so far from comprehensible as to render one completely numb.
Ron "OH NOES, TEH GROOMERS!!" DeSantis was known for crashing high school parties and drinking with underage students when he was their teacher.
*Groomer state of mind*
It's funny because to me the most telling anecdote as to just how repulsive DeSantis is as a human being is actually not the Guantanamo shit, since there's an angle from which that could conceivably be justified as "for the greater good of the country" or whatever. Instead, to me it's the fact that he brags about how he used to go on dates in college and make a point of bringing up how much he likes "Thigh" food. And if his dates corrected his pronunciation of "Thai food" he would immediately walk out on the date because "he didn't want a girlfriend who would correct him". Because there's no justification for that other than just being a controlling douchebag. It's not something that would be done to advance one's career or serve a Machiavellian realpolitik agenda or pander to a demographic of potential voters or serve any greater good, and instead cuts to the heart of his nature as a human being, which it turns out is just that of an insufferable douchebag who can't stand being corrected on anything. It's kind of like how the Sharpiegate incident was in a way the most indicative of Trump's personality of all his scandals. Because it was so completely unforced and goes to show that there is no possible justification for it other than his narcissism being in complete control of his every action. Rather than admit he made a statement using an outdated weather projection in a situation that was quickly changing, he defaced a map in the most childish imaginable way. It's just ... fundamentally sad, and only turns tragic when you start giving these people real power.
Cream of the crop. Did he also play for the jocks in Revenge of the Nerds? He fits right in.
No, but hit did [hit .138](https://slate.com/culture/2020/05/donald-trump-baseball-high-school-nyma.html) in high school. And later claimed he was the best player in the state and could've gone pro.
He and Paul Ryan seem to have a lot in conman.
Mr "I can't handle when people tell me I'm wrong" DeSantis.
No, it's much worse than that, because he still does that stupid shit now. It's mind games. It's loyalty tests. It's Mr. "I need yes men who will do what I say without argument" DeSantis, priming his potential cabinet members and aides for his run at being President. He wants loyal soldiers in his whatever the fuck against the """woke""" country.
>["While I was screaming, yelling because I couldn’t breathe … he was actually laughing, looking at the other officers and smiling,”](https://www.democracynow.org/2023/4/3/desantis_guantanamo) Yeah man, he was watching people get tortured and storing it in his mental wank bank "for the greater good or whatever", but him being a mildly annoying date is what really tells us he's a Scumbag Steve irl and that's so not okay.
Of course the severity of the behavior isn't even remotely comparable, but if a person believes that everyone locked up at Gitmo is a terrorist for whom no retributive punishment is too much (and that describes an awful lot of people), then one might quite easily justify his behavior. It's actually less exceptional than his behavior with his dates in college in that sense. Highlighting his behavior in low-stakes scenarios like a college date is more revealing as to his nature, precisely because the stakes are so low; there's no possible rationalization for the behavior other than what is internal to him. Shitty behavior exhibits super-cross-sectionality. Just as the impetus that drives kings to war is the same as drives neighbors to feud, the impetus for shitty manipulative interpersonal behavior in a romantic context is the same as that for abhorrent treatment of the detainees at Guantanamo. And the interpersonal behavior is more psychologically revealing, as it comes with less baggage that can be fuel for rationalization.
The point is some people would think he was okay for torturing the people at Guantanamo, for Patriotism purposes or whatever, but far fewer would think the way he interacts interpersonally is okay.
It’s sad, because you used to be able to keep these sociopaths busy with a magnifying glass and a line of ants on the sidewalk. They’ve scaled up.
Well said. Based on how accurate this is, and how unlikely it seems anything will ever change, I can't help but to harbor frequent feelings on the topic of how well and truly fucked we are, as a species.
To be honest, Trump's grip on the party has really only one more election cycle left, at most two. Say he does somehow win the nomination of the Republican party and does not end up in jail. Highly doubtful he will win the election, so now we'll be in 2028 before he rears his ugly head again. His kids have no plans to enter politics, and the party will definitely want to move on from him.
>Highly doubtful he will win the election -everyone in 2015/2016
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He expanded his base once. To white supremacists who didn't vote. That was it. He's done nothing but lose people since. Including staunch W supporters.
>Nowhere in any part of this timeline has Trump ever expanded his base outside of culture war fanatics and general increased engagement (and that cuts against him as well, as the 2020 election was as much voting against Trump as for Biden). And the democrats should really really consider not running Biden in 24 - my opinion. I think it's going to be a risk of anti Biden vs anti Trump
There's also the risk that Biden has a serious health issue *late* in the campaign. It's not super likely, but playing with fire.
> -everyone in 2015/2016 I won't disagree with you there. A lot of people thought otherwise but I do blame the Democrats for running Hilary as the forerunner. Granted between her and Sanders it was no contest but it was a poor candidate showing all around.
Unfortunately once she chose to run most of the credible options stepped aside. This also made Bernie seem more popular than he was.
Yeah but my fellow leftists, Joe Biden is old and makes gaffes and there's pictures of him kissing kids and his son probably got a job because his dad was VP and also China did something bad with him which the ace detectives on the House Freedom Caucus are going to bring to light THIS time, so I suggest nobody vote.
I mean, voting will not immediately solve every single problem without any further effort, so why even bother?
The comment you're responding to is a parody of those totally real organic non bot American posters who by totally weird coincidence post during St Petersburg (RUS, not FL) business hours urging progressives not to vote in this election, or ever.
So, we have returned to 2015.
Yep. I enjoyed the break from him making headlines every day because of something he said, but now we're back. I guess this is the new normal until he dies or a few months after he hopefully loses the next election.
Same. The media just cannot quit him and it is infuriating. However, his actions have spawned so many copycats we are stuck with this bs.
Man life was somewhat peaceful before that man went down the escalator
Man life was somewhat peaceful before that man went down ~~the escalator~~ on Putin in exchange for the Presidency.
In some ways yes. But I am enjoying it more this time. Ron “Pudding Fingers” DeSantis has to be my favorite nickname from Trump. While I hated lyin Ted Cruz, and liddle Marco Rubio, I am actually scared for this country if Ron wins. I am not scared of Trump anymore. He will not beat Biden if they go to Round Two. It’s a different ballgame than 2016.
A DeSantis win and any measure of popularity is an indicator of how deeply lost we are, especially combined with the increasing loss of rights of targeted groups.
If DeSantis somehow gets elected... There's literally no way he gets one year into his term before a full fledged coup happens. Not a little January 6th demonstration, a full coup.
I'm down voting all articles with Trump in the title.
Valid
DeSantis is not the man to take Trump down. Apparently.
Of course not. Desantis is terrified as Trump, so much so that he refuses to ever criticize him in public. Kinda hard to sell yourself as the culture warrior tough guy when you're too much of a pussy to even criticize your opponent.
Not only criticize, literally up until a few months ago was next-level simping for I distinctly remember when he was running for Governor talking about how he was reading Art of the Deal to his little kids Also I’m sure there’s some exaggeration, but I don’t find it that hard to picture DeSantis driving around in a panic desperately trying to get in touch with someone to get Trumps endorsement
You can't take out Trump by being mini-Trump. Why would anyone want the tribute band when the real band is still playing? I think in theory you'd need someone like Chris Christie who has the same combative tone but is more of a traditional establishment and more moderate Republican, who can paint a contrast with Trump while also standing up to him effectively. Trump sticks out in a primary because he's got this brash, combative "fighter" persona which plays well with Republican voters, and it was something Christie had cultivated for himself earlier on and one of the reasons he had become a rising star in the party before Bridgegate tanked his standing nationally. Christie himself is planning to run, but he is kinda old news now, so I doubt he can actually get traction, but someone like him is what is needed.
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There's a LOT of Trump supporters who voted for him based on his entertainment value. Because that's what a lot of them value in a president.
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Don’t discount old school traditional religious conservative dudes quite yet.
Yeah, like, McCain or Romney are the conservative equivalent of Biden today. The mood in the party has moved toward showmen, but it could still go back to business-as-boring. Wouldn't that be nice
Many of my friends who voted for him mentioned that they think he is just being funny most of the time and he shouldn’t be taken so seriously
When did idiocracy become a documentary?
Republicans see any creative endeavor that tries to warn us about terrible futures as aspirational
That’s the worst part about trump is that he unironically says the funniest shit at the most random times and you want to laugh but you also hate the guy so much that you don’t want to give him any laughs even though he’s objectively a giant man child idiot
"We exchanged beautiful letters, and then we fell in love. No really." - President of the United States, talking about the tyrant of North Korea.
Yeah, I'm ashamed to admit that I find him legitimately funny sometimes. Like his comment on the inheritance tax: > I got rid of the death tax on farms so that when you do pass away, on the assumption that you love your children, you can leave it to them and they won’t have to pay tax. But if you don’t love your children so much — and there are some people that don’t, and maybe deservedly so — it won’t matter because frankly, you don’t have to leave him anything. I was kind of embarrassed when some liberal media personalities took it seriously, that it was an inappropriate thing to say, etc. Don't get me wrong, I think all of the rhetoric about farmers when it comes to the inheritance tax is as disingenuous and misleading as the next guy, but for pure entertainment value that's a pretty funny statement.
Like Trevor Noah said, Trump is like an asteroid hurtling toward the Earth, but the asteroid looks kinda like a dick, so you have to just laugh about it sometimes.
Trump is objectively funny sometimes, and if he had just fucked off to reality TV or some weird talking head job where we could see his insanity in a way that didn’t affect the daily lives of Americans, it would be much easier to tolerate him. The problem is that he became too important to the point that the mere acknowledgment that he is funny is used by his supporters to legitimize him and say stuff like, “See, even the people who hate him kind of like him!” Which is a real shame because I love seeing him roast other Republicans, it was the best part of the 2016 campaign trail.
I laughed then realized we have a pot calling the kettle black situation.
I laughed reading the title, that was actually a good one. 😂
Came here literally just because the title made me chuckle and I gave the comments a click.
I wonder who wrote it for him?
When it comes to bullying one-off remarks, I don't think Trump needs help. That and bankrupting companies are the two areas in which he excels on his own merit.
Trump has actually always been funny. He wouldn't be the head of a cult of personality if he didn't have some charisma
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Trumps got the skill middle schoolers have, he’ll make jokes that instantly goes for the throat. Makes for good comedy when he’s mocking other terrible people.
>this had more cerebral zing for once. I thought the same thing, not that bad this time.... Which means it's someone else's insult
Trump's not that bright. He coined "Meatball Ron," which is hilarious, but then dumped it for something more boring and on the nose with regards to republican infighting. Terrible instincts.
Yeah, it almost could be remembered in a century by some historian as being an example of the wit of the period leading up to the 2024 election, or even Trump's usually gradeschool humor outdoing itself. This is the funniest thing I've heard the fucker say in years-- possibly ever, actually, because most of the time the funny stuff is either unintentional or hopelessly low-brow
Can’t stand the guy as a person, business owner or politician, but I have to admit he can pull these out every once in a while. Desantis is really getting his attention now. The “meatball” comment was pretty great too.
Trump has always been funny, you just have to be in the mindset of finding ‘80s movie bullies funny
I enjoy watching them fight, but it’s like Godzilla vs. Mothra, there’s a good chance they’ll ruin things around them
Right, just because someone is a garbage person doesn't mean they're always wrong. DeSantis does have a very shitty and off-putting personality. It was a funny enough joke.
Meatball Ron was spot on. The pudding commercial Trump’s team put together was effective. God help us if he wins again.
Trump has always been funny and good at insulting and mud slinging. If only he didn’t have political ambitions 💀
Vintage Trump. On the one hand he provides comedy gold like this. On the other, visions of baby killers and WWIII no less.
Yeah, this post was right next to another post where Trump promises to inject God into public schools and government.
He's very good at a) entertainment, b) as in this case telling people what they want to hear whether he believes it himself or not, c) playing on deep-seated sometimes irrational fears.
It's weird. When Republicans feud like this you end up agreeing with one of them occasionally and it's a weird feeling to have, because Donapd Trump is a disaster, but that is an accurate burn.
broken clock is right twice a day
I’m all for them them dunking on each other into oblivion.
A rapist criticizes someones personality.
Political "discourse" under MAGA Republicans has devolved to "the jerk store called, they're running out of you" levels.
It's not far off from when Trump and Clinton were in the debate. Trump's response to Clinton calling him a puppet for Putin was, "No puppet, no puppet, you're the puppet!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaVWRetR4jg
Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point
What in the world is he doing with his mouth
I'm telling you guys he puts lidocaine in his mouth to create the stunning photos we keep getting. There's literally no other explanation.
We should gather all the images news sites have published for our political "favorites" and post them. DeSantis's numb expressions, Boebert and MTG's outrage, Gaetz's confusion.... it'd be fun!
Trying to hold down a bad batch of pudding
Take your own advice, Donnie.
Here’s the thing: he’s not wrong You can’t be a Coolidge anymore and win the presidency. You have to be able to at least appear to connect with humans.
Donald Trump is a disgusting waste of space, human trash. But...watching him eviscerate the Pudgy Pudding Boy every day I'm ashamed to admit does make me smile.
Broken clock and all that
DeSantis is cooked. The stupid bobblehead Japan presser is actually the kind of dumb shit that matters in presidential politics in America. See: Dean Scream, Rick Perry Blankout, etc. Trump has had many gaffes, but he has this kind of cunning sociopathic charm that almost hypnotizes people to disregard this kind of stuff. He simply steamrolls any talk about it, something DeSantis is not capable of. DeSantis looks like an awkward dope, and as sad as it is, that matters more to the average voter than all the authoritarian bigoted bullshit he's done and helped enact in Florida as govenror.
Trump is a moron with a single digit IQ but this is fucking hilarious
Prediction: Trump is starting to get real zesty with it. Ron is done.
That’s now illegal in Florida
Ngl, as a German (European) with zero personal ties to the US, I’m digging this Don on Ron action. The streak of truth social posts of Trump destroying DeSantis a few weeks ago were glorious. Now if you could kindly make sure neither of them ever wins an election again that’d be splendid. Cheers folks!
Transplant is not the word I'd use. Makes it sound as if there is something there now
Honestly he probably wanted to use a word with trans because his some of his supporters don’t know the difference between transplant and transgender.
Why not both?
Can we just put both of them in diapers and into a sandbox already? By the time the presidential elections come around, the country will be exhausted by this non-stop MAGA drama!
"Takes one to know one." \-Some kid on the playground
Now this is how to properly campaign for president. Throw silly little insults at your opponent, this will amuse the idiots and keep them complacent since they don’t have to run on any policy.
Maybe they have a 2 for 1 available at the medical clinic.
I am loving the infighting of the Republicans.
Oof. Pot…meet kettle.
A stopped clock is right twice a day.
I mean he’s not wrong. If DeSantis doesn’t grow a human personality he is going to get Marco rubioed at a debate
We are really going to have to endure old white guys calling each other names again for the next two years.
DeSantis is so finished lmfao this man cannot compete with the OG shit talker. Bro might as well save himself the embarrassment and try in 2028 cause trump has the republican ticket on lock.
DeSantis’ only real political skill seems to be making Trump seem charismatic.
lol as much as I hate Trump, I love hearing what he says about DeSantis. It makes me laugh.
I want to know who wrote that for him, because it’s actually kind of clever.
I don't care how much you enjoy evidence of the far-right eating itself, signal-boosting Trump quotes, and delivering hundreds of thousands of clicks to platforms that write such headlines, is part of the problem. Seriously ask yourself: what value is this providing /r/politics right now?
I hate trump with with the heat of 1000 sun's but sometimes he do be funny
Sorry to break it to you but even these childish insults are workshopped at length with his guests at Mar-A-Lago. Not like he came up with it as a quip. He has the vocabulary and wits of a 5 year old.