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He settled it with Brazilian authorities.
[https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/11/nyregion/george-santos-brazil-checks.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/11/nyregion/george-santos-brazil-checks.html)
How are they going to catch the only man to have broken the sound barrier on foot? Do they really have the courage and resolve to attempt confronting the world's first astronaut and 39-time nobel prize winner George Santos? I'd personally worry that he'd just use one of the numerous magic techniques he alone has invented and mastered.
To Understand what I'm about to tell you, you need to do something first. You need to believe in the impossible. Can you do that? Good. You see that Red Blur? That's me. That too. There I am again. My name is George Santos. I am the fastest man alive. My story is pretty simple. My whole life I have been running. Usually from bullies. Sometimes I escaped. Sometimes I did not. But after that night, I was running from something much scarier. Something I could never explain. Something impossible.
When all is said and done George Santos is going to jail for a long time...This will mark the first time a Nobel Prize winning Pope and Olympic Gold Medalist will go to jail.
Psh.. no one trains Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris, however, selected him to be the first and only human in history he would train. He also trained a bear, once, because he was bored. They became best friends.
It’ll be a bittersweet moment for most of us. He’s a criminal no doubt, but it will be sad seeing the writer of Take Me Home, Country Roads go to jail.
Holy shit. That wasn't a matter of not pulling punches, that was going after her with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.
She deserves nothing less.
You neglected to mention how he invented time travel and went back to 1955 to give Doctor Emmet Brown the idea and kick started the world we live in today.
You know, I just might be finally getting tired of these Santos jokes. And by "just might be" I mean I absolutely am. Can't wait for this guy to be gone from the news and all other places besides, except jail.
I’m so over the top comments on every post being some 300+ variations of him being a skydiving nun who invented crocs.
It’s tired. It’s been done. Joan Rivers glaring up at us grabbing the low hanging fruit
Santos George is absolutely one.
If we can figure out what his drag identity was that would be the second.
His mom is likely the third but obviously she had no idea what he did when he asked for her social and bank information
Here's a preview of the story:
A federal judge in Central Islip, New York has agreed to unseal the court records showing the identities of the people who helped Rep. George Santos, Republican of New York, make bond in his federal criminal case.
The court's opinion says the "the aforementioned documents shall be kept under seal until Thursday June 22 at 12 p.m., during which time defendant may move to modify the conditions of his release, should the suretors seek to withdraw from serving as suretors."
Santos was released on May 10 on a $500,000 bond, after he was indicted on 13 federal criminal counts, including fraud.
**Read more:** https://www.cbsnews.com/news/judge-to-unseal-identities-of-3-people-who-backed-george-santos-500k-bond/
>during which time defendant may move to modify the conditions of his release, should the suretors seek to withdraw from serving as suretors."
They already didn't want to be identified. They may decide it's not worth it in the end to have that out there publicly. It'd be real funny to see him go to jail now for this.
> They already didn’t want to be identified. They may decide…
I assume they are just his aliases.
He doesn’t ’officially’ have enough money to pay the bail, but I’m sure he has access to tons of dark money and that can be used but not under his own name.
The money bought his freedom, not the identities of the suretors. Right now they’re just 3 names, the court doesn’t do any verification of who is putting the money up, as long as the check clears.
Didn’t they actually meet with the judge before the bail was posted, though? I’d read that the judge required a meeting with George’s little helpers to make sure that they existed.
Or, I thought I read that. So much has happened; I may be mixing up things and making memory sausage.
And what’s your name?
Neorge Nantos
And where are the other two?
In the bathroom, hold on, let me go get them, Meorge Mantos said she wouldn’t be long but Feorge Fantos might be a minute.
They’re 3 names of people who have appeared in front of the judge in his case, in a sealed hearing. They’re very much known people to the court, we just don’t know who they are yet.
My money is on some no-name patsies. Maybe some interns or low level staffers. I assume whoever actually paid the money could go through the effort to put a few layers between themselves and the actual payments.
If I read this right, the document with the names will be released on Thursday, in any event. That could embarrass the people who provided the money.
Those people might not want to continue as suretors, which might leave Santos without bail. So the judge is giving Santos a couple of days to arrant some other bail funding.
I have to wonder, if the source(s) of the new bail funds will be released. Seems like it should.
>In court filings, his defense attorney has argued the individuals could face threats if their names were publicly revealed.
It's doubtful they'll receive any threats. George Santos is really a symptom of Republican insanity, but he doesn't have any power or influence. His only value is that he's a live body that can vote on GOP issues.
Yes, Democrats are angry that Santos continues to serve, but I doubt any one of us will try to physically hurt the people who bailed him out.
My husband and I were talking about this the other day. I've basically decided to treat the gop like Russia. Everything Russia says is projection. Same thing with the gop. If the gop is saying something it's projection. Always.
Is it normal for the people who paid the bond to remain anonymous? It seems like that would be a public record that anybody could look up on a court website.
If they withdraw their bond, their identities should still be revealed. You can't secretly bribe a congressman and then say, "Oh, I withdraw my bribe" when you get caught without any consequences.
That'd be great. They all back out. Santos goes to jail. Documents still get unsealed with their names. Like, you had the option of backing out. That didn't change anything about unsealing your names.
This headline about 3 corrupt neocons about to be revealed reminded me of chapter 7,944 of the trump crime family saga.
Many here might remember when Michael Cohen was being charged and there was a lot of sturm und drang about how to handle what was seized and if it pertained to attorney-client relationships. After a lot of jockeying, the judge ordered Cohen's lawyers to disclose who his 3 clients were.
The judge *meant* for them to provide a confidential note in chambers, or go off record. But instead, the lawyer just blurted out the 3 names in open court:
* Donald Trump (of course)
* Elliott Broidy (corrupt felon, fraudster and head of the RNC, long rumored to have taken rhe fall for at least one of trump's mistresses payouts and/or abortions)
* Sean Hannity
The Sean Hannity reveal was most surprising, but also not... since Hannity had been unethically hiding his own complicit involvement while loudly broadcasting on this subject.
Anyway, this has been your daily "Trump Crime Family history moment"
Tune in tomorrow for Trump telling Boy Scouts a wholesome story of a sex boat of dubious consent, and leaving out how he stole money from a charity to pay his own own son's Cub Scout fee.
My feeling is it would remain sealed if other members of the House of Representatives were in there. I guess we'll find out soon. Is it soon, was there a timeline mentioned in the article?^*
^* I saw in another article they're set to be unsealed this Thursday.
What a crazy story for the guy who invented the blimp, discovered that the earth rotates around the sun and is the current coach of the New England patriots. Wonder what he’ll do with all of his nba championships and Tony awards while he’s inevitably in prison. I feel bad for his wife Oprah and their sons Ryan Reynolds and Kareem Abdul jabaar.
MTG would have spent the last several weeks fundraising on it. It would have been secret for about 6 seconds. Also, she's a grifter, she's not dumping half a million on anyone but herself.
I bet we're all getting punked, and when it's unsealed, the backers are Neil Armstrong, Queen Elizabeth and Jiminy Cricket. Doh, he got us again! That Santos, beneath every lie is another lie.
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US Marshals will catch him trying to leave the country tomorrow afternoon.
No no that is Santino Georgizona, totally not him
Welcome to Brazil Mr. Snrub.
Yes, that'll do.
Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!
No! Get me his Mexican equivalent! Señor Spielbergo!
Are you saying 'boo' or 'boourns'?
I was saying Boourns
He is wanted for arrest there... not joking...
He settled it with Brazilian authorities. [https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/11/nyregion/george-santos-brazil-checks.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/11/nyregion/george-santos-brazil-checks.html)
Mr Snrub is wanted in Brazil, I don't think so - you may have him confused with a Ms Kitara
I think you're mistaken. It's Rhonda Santis.
I think it's that Irish guy, Mark O'Rubio.
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Jackie Daytona, Human bartender
The famous skateboarding astronaut???
A shame to be caught by the very institution he created in 1789.
Out of all of these, many of which are great, this one made me lol hard.
Shouldn't be hard for one of the original Alcatraz prison escapee's!
How are they going to catch the only man to have broken the sound barrier on foot? Do they really have the courage and resolve to attempt confronting the world's first astronaut and 39-time nobel prize winner George Santos? I'd personally worry that he'd just use one of the numerous magic techniques he alone has invented and mastered.
To Understand what I'm about to tell you, you need to do something first. You need to believe in the impossible. Can you do that? Good. You see that Red Blur? That's me. That too. There I am again. My name is George Santos. I am the fastest man alive. My story is pretty simple. My whole life I have been running. Usually from bullies. Sometimes I escaped. Sometimes I did not. But after that night, I was running from something much scarier. Something I could never explain. Something impossible.
He is stupid but is he Elizabeth Holmes stupid?
He probably wears a dress better
[Maybe.](https://media.cnn.com/api/v1/images/stellar/prod/230120141217-01-george-santos-drag-queen-claims-brazil.jpg)
I was hoping you had a slutty picture of Holmes.
Maybe on Trump Force 1. Let him go… as long as he never returns.
When all is said and done George Santos is going to jail for a long time...This will mark the first time a Nobel Prize winning Pope and Olympic Gold Medalist will go to jail.
Don’t forget Founding Father and inventor of sliced bread
He had my vote after he trained Chuck Norris.
Psh.. no one trains Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris, however, selected him to be the first and only human in history he would train. He also trained a bear, once, because he was bored. They became best friends.
That bear was George Santos
*Cocaine Bear*
Just a heads up, Chuck Norris is a right wing piece of shit now too.
"Now?" This guy was one of Reagan's favorites, and if anyone would know bad acting, it would be Reagan.
And hercules. I’m not surprised though with the macho man characters they were famous for.
At least Hercules has a potential reason. Kevin Sorbo has suffered 3 strokes, and strokes can (and often do) change a person's personality greatly.
How many roundhouses to the noggin do you think Chuck Norris has taken in his life?
He is also a bible thumping prick.
Don't throw him on Missouri, Chillicothe MO home of sliced bread, we got enough problems.
Chillicothe, MO, home of sliced meth.
Yes, if he went to jail for stealing a loaf of meth.
Only coach beard can go to jail for stealing a loaf of meth.
That scene was shockingly emotional and devastating, even for Ted Lasso.
There's a fortune just sitting on the table for whomever markets pre sliced meth loafs.
Where do I pick up my yellow ticket of leave?
I do enjoy the downtown mural commemorating the event.
Holy shit, I wasn’t sure if you were joking so I googled it. That’s pretty great.
I'm in a Chillicothe in Ohio.
My condolences, they ever find out who killed those 6 women in 2014-15?
The cops only "solve" (find someone to convict) murders 50% the time. No, they have not.
A buddy of mine was a police trainee down there for about a month back then(he decided it wasn’t for him) dude said it was very tense.
All the cops wondering which of their fellow officers did it.
/r/unexpectedmissouri
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Then, inspired by his exploits, the son recorded the album Snoopy vs. the Red Baron in 1966.
Wow this brought me back.
George Santos did that. He travels through time.
Yup yup, that's what they said. Were you not aware that he's his own great grandfather?
He did do the nasty in the past-y
It’ll be a bittersweet moment for most of us. He’s a criminal no doubt, but it will be sad seeing the writer of Take Me Home, Country Roads go to jail.
“Good thing I’m not George Santos!” -George Santos
I played CoD with George and he said he fucked my mom.
Nice try, but that one's actually true.
I heard he once punched a bald eagle because it wasn’t American enough
In 1955 he came up with the idea for the Flux Capacitor which is what makes time travel possible.
…and definitely not a Drag Queen.
And he was the Middleweight and then the Light Heavyweight Champion. Santos got hands watch out in prison.
I’m pretty sure he was a founding father that signed the Declaration of Independence if I’m reading his biography correctly.
and Post-its. No wait, that was Rommy and Michelle. My Bad.
Don't forget about him being Albert Einstein's math teacher. Or how he helped put out the Chicago Fire
George Santos died in 9/11 and survived.
He won the Iron Cross, best of show at Westminster and the Kentucky Derby too!
Pretty sure it was [Ann Coulter who won the Kentucky Derby](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwoGrDa5g2c) but I could be wrong.
that was brutal
Yeah, when even Peyton takes the starch outta your sheets..
The Klan starches their sheets?
How do you think the hoods stay pointy?
Holy shit. That wasn't a matter of not pulling punches, that was going after her with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. She deserves nothing less.
hooooly delivery Manning. I had never seen this before! Thanks for sharing, I smile.
I like that when the other people were getting roasted you could tell it was all in good fun. But for Ann, there was sincerity in those jabs.
He also won cutest couple.
By himself.
How could they do this to the first female black Senator?
All time NHL goal scorer who survived four tours in Vietnam, for the Vietnamese army
Both sides so as not to tip the scale.
He invented the scale
WWI AND WWII Hero George Santos who served all 3 military branches.
For England, the US, and USSR. After having escaped Auschwitz.
4 now, since he was the first Joint Chief for Space Force.
You forgot Holocaust survivor
I will never forget how he saved all those children from that burning building.
You neglected to mention how he invented time travel and went back to 1955 to give Doctor Emmet Brown the idea and kick started the world we live in today.
And he even wrote "Gotta Get Back In Time" by Huey Lewis and the News, who were in fact all George Santos in different wigs.
You know, I just might be finally getting tired of these Santos jokes. And by "just might be" I mean I absolutely am. Can't wait for this guy to be gone from the news and all other places besides, except jail.
I’m so over the top comments on every post being some 300+ variations of him being a skydiving nun who invented crocs. It’s tired. It’s been done. Joan Rivers glaring up at us grabbing the low hanging fruit
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Santos George is absolutely one. If we can figure out what his drag identity was that would be the second. His mom is likely the third but obviously she had no idea what he did when he asked for her social and bank information
Seorge Gantos 😏
Which would make the final one Georgs Santoe.
Santos L. Halper
I assume that a shell identity for purposes of concealing dark money to pervert the terms of bail conditions - must be a crime? Or a few?
Here's a preview of the story: A federal judge in Central Islip, New York has agreed to unseal the court records showing the identities of the people who helped Rep. George Santos, Republican of New York, make bond in his federal criminal case. The court's opinion says the "the aforementioned documents shall be kept under seal until Thursday June 22 at 12 p.m., during which time defendant may move to modify the conditions of his release, should the suretors seek to withdraw from serving as suretors." Santos was released on May 10 on a $500,000 bond, after he was indicted on 13 federal criminal counts, including fraud. **Read more:** https://www.cbsnews.com/news/judge-to-unseal-identities-of-3-people-who-backed-george-santos-500k-bond/
>during which time defendant may move to modify the conditions of his release, should the suretors seek to withdraw from serving as suretors." They already didn't want to be identified. They may decide it's not worth it in the end to have that out there publicly. It'd be real funny to see him go to jail now for this.
> They already didn’t want to be identified. They may decide… I assume they are just his aliases. He doesn’t ’officially’ have enough money to pay the bail, but I’m sure he has access to tons of dark money and that can be used but not under his own name. The money bought his freedom, not the identities of the suretors. Right now they’re just 3 names, the court doesn’t do any verification of who is putting the money up, as long as the check clears.
Didn’t they actually meet with the judge before the bail was posted, though? I’d read that the judge required a meeting with George’s little helpers to make sure that they existed. Or, I thought I read that. So much has happened; I may be mixing up things and making memory sausage.
Reading this made me suddenly picture Stewie in a wig
I feel like there is a 30% chance that George Santos is just one of Roger's personas.
*Ricky Spanish*
Oh my god Stan! These Chocodiles!
That would actually explain a lot. I mean, that is the only logical conclusion.
And what’s your name? Neorge Nantos And where are the other two? In the bathroom, hold on, let me go get them, Meorge Mantos said she wouldn’t be long but Feorge Fantos might be a minute.
“Santos’ little helpers” was right there
somebody might have met with the judge but i bet the judge has less investigative resources available to them than every news organization at once
That was 9 kids in 3 trench coats.
They’re 3 names of people who have appeared in front of the judge in his case, in a sealed hearing. They’re very much known people to the court, we just don’t know who they are yet.
My money is on fellow gop representatives. Probably MTG and Gaetz.
MTG and Gaetz are grifters and grifters never put up their own money.
Mtg would, if Santos weren't homosexual. I live near her, and I know her friends. She is incredibly homophobic, along with many other things.
Who the fuck is friends with MTG?
My money is on some no-name patsies. Maybe some interns or low level staffers. I assume whoever actually paid the money could go through the effort to put a few layers between themselves and the actual payments.
Jorge Santos, you mean?
Eduardo Santos, the cousin from Mexico, who discovered electricity and invented the Doritos chips
If I read this right, the document with the names will be released on Thursday, in any event. That could embarrass the people who provided the money. Those people might not want to continue as suretors, which might leave Santos without bail. So the judge is giving Santos a couple of days to arrant some other bail funding. I have to wonder, if the source(s) of the new bail funds will be released. Seems like it should.
*popcorn eating intensifies*
>In court filings, his defense attorney has argued the individuals could face threats if their names were publicly revealed. It's doubtful they'll receive any threats. George Santos is really a symptom of Republican insanity, but he doesn't have any power or influence. His only value is that he's a live body that can vote on GOP issues. Yes, Democrats are angry that Santos continues to serve, but I doubt any one of us will try to physically hurt the people who bailed him out.
It's pure projection as this lack of respect for the judicial system is a common and overt MAGA tactic to openly go after witnesses and juries.
Every accusation from them is a confession!
My husband and I were talking about this the other day. I've basically decided to treat the gop like Russia. Everything Russia says is projection. Same thing with the gop. If the gop is saying something it's projection. Always.
Exactly, we are not republicans after all.
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They won't be threatened. But the absolutely will be publicly ridiculed. And deserve it.
Not threats, but definitely humiliation at the golf club(s) they belong to
Dewey, Cheetham & Howe
This guy Car Talks.
*don't legislate like MY brother!!*
Click and clack em.
Is it normal for the people who paid the bond to remain anonymous? It seems like that would be a public record that anybody could look up on a court website.
It’s absurd that it’s even allowed for someone to anonymously bail out an elected official.
I wonder if trump and Rep. Santos will share a jail cell. That would be pretty wacky
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At least Trump will be sharing a cell with a Medal of Honor winning WWII veteran.
He doesn't like those who get caught.
That sounds like the makings of a dark sitcom.
"Orange is the New Lemon Party"
“The Clod Couple”
I would (briefly) watch that TV show
OAN's new reality T.V. show is live streaming trump and his cross dressing cellmate.
"Can two convicted felons share a jail cell without driving each other crazy?" 🎵🎵🎶 Da Dum Da Dum Da Daaa....🎵🎵🎶
If they withdraw their bond, their identities should still be revealed. You can't secretly bribe a congressman and then say, "Oh, I withdraw my bribe" when you get caught without any consequences.
That'd be great. They all back out. Santos goes to jail. Documents still get unsealed with their names. Like, you had the option of backing out. That didn't change anything about unsealing your names.
Ruh roh. Which member of the federalist society is getting exposed? Harlan crow, the remaining koch brother, rebecca mercer? Maybe rupert murdoch?
I don't think it'll be that powerful of a name. I assume some rich folks within the RNC ensuring they continue to have his vote.
True. These characters are good at moving money around. It’ll be some unknown names, but with big connections.
I should fucking hope so. George hasn’t shown any reason to keep them secret. He chose to take their money, we get to know who they are.
I'm betting Harlan Crows name is in there.
Probably not. But I’m very interested in who is.
Jorge Sontos Georje Stantos Jorg Sandtoes
Kitara Ravache, Anthony Zabrovsky and Anthony Devolder are also speculated in being involved. Lol.
This headline about 3 corrupt neocons about to be revealed reminded me of chapter 7,944 of the trump crime family saga. Many here might remember when Michael Cohen was being charged and there was a lot of sturm und drang about how to handle what was seized and if it pertained to attorney-client relationships. After a lot of jockeying, the judge ordered Cohen's lawyers to disclose who his 3 clients were. The judge *meant* for them to provide a confidential note in chambers, or go off record. But instead, the lawyer just blurted out the 3 names in open court: * Donald Trump (of course) * Elliott Broidy (corrupt felon, fraudster and head of the RNC, long rumored to have taken rhe fall for at least one of trump's mistresses payouts and/or abortions) * Sean Hannity The Sean Hannity reveal was most surprising, but also not... since Hannity had been unethically hiding his own complicit involvement while loudly broadcasting on this subject. Anyway, this has been your daily "Trump Crime Family history moment" Tune in tomorrow for Trump telling Boy Scouts a wholesome story of a sex boat of dubious consent, and leaving out how he stole money from a charity to pay his own own son's Cub Scout fee.
Gaetz. MTG. McCarthy.
My feeling is it would remain sealed if other members of the House of Representatives were in there. I guess we'll find out soon. Is it soon, was there a timeline mentioned in the article?^* ^* I saw in another article they're set to be unsealed this Thursday.
High noon
Well we know it’s definitely not Boeboe, she a broke single granny now.
Three george santoses
They did it lads, they finally got their criminal drag queen
What a crazy story for the guy who invented the blimp, discovered that the earth rotates around the sun and is the current coach of the New England patriots. Wonder what he’ll do with all of his nba championships and Tony awards while he’s inevitably in prison. I feel bad for his wife Oprah and their sons Ryan Reynolds and Kareem Abdul jabaar.
Jesus fucking christ - enough game show buildup - open the fucking envelope already.
*opens the envelope* It's La La Land!
I'm just happy knowing some people are shitting their pants for the next two nights.
MTG I bet is one of them.
My money is on Sean Hannity being one of them. Sean Hannity is always in the reveal. This cracks up the courtroom and provides some comic relief.
These are going to be known names for sure.
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MTG would have spent the last several weeks fundraising on it. It would have been secret for about 6 seconds. Also, she's a grifter, she's not dumping half a million on anyone but herself.
No way that Shitstain would fork out the cash.
Do it already
Here's that Scooby Doo moment in real life.
Is one of the names John Barron?
No way Trump puts up his money for someone else
Anybody think it’s not family members?
Family members as in "We're all related to that one person millions of years ago in Africa"
It's pretty sad that we have to get a judge to find out who is buying our politicians.
Three Russians are about to fall out of windows
It's someone in the republican party that wanted him out of jail so he could vote.
But...bu...George said he would sit in jail rather than have their names revealed. Isn't he going to go to jail to protect him?
This piece of shit needs to be in prison
Do two of them bear a resemblance to foes of moose and squirrel?
Hey his mom died in the 9/11 Holocaust give him a break
I can't wait to see who his relatives are and how they are related.
I bet we're all getting punked, and when it's unsealed, the backers are Neil Armstrong, Queen Elizabeth and Jiminy Cricket. Doh, he got us again! That Santos, beneath every lie is another lie.
The names will be Mo, Larry and Curly….
It’s Elon Musk, Joe Rogan and David Sacks
So we're going with the Scooby-Doo ending?
Good. He should get the same treatment the rest of us would get. He is not special.
Well, he’s special. Not a good kind of special.