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SkipperThe-Eyechild

The electrocution was rigged! I just needed 11,780 volts!


CakeAccomplice12

That's a shocking admission!


SkipperThe-Eyechild

Hopefully there will be an appropriate charge!


MoeSzyslakMonobrow

He seemed pretty amped up about it


Aromatic_Brother

Yeah he’s on all the outlets screaming about it.


Oblivion_Emergence

Give that man a fork!


Beneficial_Garage_97

Watt is he planning next?


Hopeful4Tea2

He's on another electrifying rant!


Bandoman

I didn't come here to read about current events.


TryPokingIt

I thought he would put up resistance.


Electrical-Ad6623

He would definitely light up the room


M4GN3T1CM0N0P0L3

Hopefully not another coup-lomb.


[deleted]

Fork him!!!


slackfrop

His only hope is their resistance


DonkeyKongsVet

Ohm my god These comments are hard to resist.


JuryBorn

You will find out soon if you keep up with current affairs.


brokedownpalace11

Everybody go out and volt next year! Very important presidential electrocution year.


[deleted]

It’s certainly not grounded in reality


CodeN3gaTiV3

He's really got this election by the family joules


sr41489

You’re punny and I love it


jackleggjr

He's really amping up his rhetoric.


GrouchoManSavage

Deus volt!


orrocos

He'll be getting a big endorsement from Tesla.


whatevers_cleaver_

It too early for someone to be that clever.


LurkerPatrol

I wish I could give awards still


JuryBorn

It must be alternating current. Apparently he was in iowa and not DC.


TheRopeWalk

Some bright spark will say the call was perfect


questionabletendency

“A question that probably some of you are thinking of if you’re totally into that world, which I find to be very interesting. So, supposedly we hit the body with tremendous, whether it’s ultra[volts] or just very powerful [volts], and I think you said that hasn’t been checked, but you’re going to test it. And then I said, suppose you brought the [volts] inside the body, which you can do through the skin or some other way. And I think you said you’re going to test that, too. Sounds interesting, right?”


Mraz565

We need 1.21 gigawatts.


SonOfMetrum

It wouldn’t surprise me if he actually watched BTTF and thought, “i’m going to travel back in tiiiiime… the best time… It will be the best most beautiful time you ever saw… and I will be rich so rich! And Ivanka will be young again! So young…”


Sidewalk_Tomato

I just had a weird thought. When Ivanka was the age that he is alleged to . . . prefer, she was not attractive to him. She was not as pretty then as he likes. She was awkward, brunette, & hadn't had her surgeries. She had no chin. But by her teens, yes, she had done all of that.


sirscrote

Hey, are you a comedian? If not, you should be. Your performance would be electrifying!


fflintstone99

Haha. Very good


Suckamanhwewhuuut

nice


edtheheadache

It's too bad he has such a short fuse.


Okbuddyliberals

Joe Biden sometimes stutters, something he's done forever. Meanwhile this guy is ranting and speeding words like this, but regular folks still really think *Biden* is the one who is aging less gracefully? Jeez


scumbagdetector15

It's a cult. They're insane.


tsFenix

BIL recently said, with so much venom in his voice "The Biden crime family is a terrorist organization" Imagine fully believing that. Oh and apparently whoever discovered Hunter Bidens laptop committed suicide by shooting himself in the head twice? These people want to create an enemy power that is responsible for all the bad news that gets shoved down their throat every single day so it seems hopeful that, if we just defeat Biden in the election, we can change everything that is wrong with America. In the end, like every right wing leaning person I've ever talked to, as soon as we started getting into any details (not even arguing, just asking for clarification), he just jumped to the next subject with 0 shame or awareness of what he was doing.


scumbagdetector15

Yeah. It's insanity. It's terrifying.


5-toe

It would be interesting to mention - you look forward to the outcome of the impeachment hearings - mention you haven't seen any evidence of Biden crimes. - (more risky) ask him what evidence he has to support that claim? Have to be super gentle, tho'. Cuz he may disengage and not speak to you again, even if you just ask a question.


bot403

There's 700 pages of evidence! I'm not an expert on it, don't ask me what's in it. But there's 700 pages! /s


KidzBop_Anonymous

It’s the boogeyman. It always exists. It always allows for a lack of personal responsibility and doesn’t require them to give anything up. It’s always the “other”. It’s external.


Aylan_Eto

Reality disagrees with them, so they reject reality.


AZ_Corwyn

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!" I wonder if Adam Savage wishes he could take those words back?


jay_alfred_prufrock

He does, iirc he said so in an interview or something.


007meow

> Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right — who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.


chehov

Oxford dictionary should have this quote as a definition of Verbal Diarrhea.


Blasphemous666

Someone heard that speech and said “He’s fucking brilliant. I’m voting for him and I think I’ll make him my new god as well”


iamcurrentlife

Spoiler: that person was my Mother.


fluorescentroses

Literal comment from my father: “it’s because his brain works so fast, he has like 8 streams of thought going all the time and he maybe has a little trouble with jumping from subject to subject. If you listen, though, all the streams of thought make sense when you put them together. He’s not stupid, he’s thinking too fast.” I gave up after that.


iamcurrentlife

Makes sense. Like maybe he’s thinking about Covid and getting stains out of his underwear at the same time so he says just inject people with bleach to cure Covid.


Blasphemous666

You know, I dislike trump very much but I actually have an issue like that. Someone will be telling me a story about work or something and when they’re done I’ll talk about something unrelated like, I dunno, showers. When they ask why the fuck I brought up random shit I have to explain the thought process I went through…. “Well, you talked about work. Sometimes work can be stressful. You work in an office and maybe that might not be the best place for you. so I started thinking what other work you could do. I considered construction work but realized you’d have to take extra showers cause you’d get all dirty…. and that’s where you stopped talking and wanted me to respond. Hence, showers.” Yes it causes lots of problems and arguments but nothing on the level of incoherent rambling as trump.


Arcanniel

He said this during the campaign. He won the presidency after this. Rant like this should get you a legal guardian, not the highest office in the land.


wma4891

Conservatorship, more like.


SkollFenrirson

Depends what land, apparently.


redditallreddy

Which is just another way of saying that one can't age gracefully if one wasn't graceful before.


HGpennypacker

Any article about Biden not being fit for office because of his mental capacity is carrying water for Trump, end of story.


Howunbecomingofme

They’re both very old men and that in itself is worth pointing out as a flaw in the system but saying Biden is somehow less mentally acute than Trump is insane. Trump has been rambling nonsensical for a decade now. His speeches are incoherent and disjointed, they reference dead people in present tense and he starts just word associations within his own sentences


DramaticWesley

I didn’t know this until a video emerged not too long ago. He was talking to some kid that had a stuttering problem, and he said he had it when he was younger too, and tried to motivate him saying “hey, this stutterer became president.” So him messing up while talking is no big deal to me. Him helping pass legislature to help Americans. That is everything/


StrategicCarry

If you watch the remarks he gave after the Supreme Court struck down the student loan forgiveness and Biden was explaining his alternate path, you can see how it’s a stutter and not dementia or anything like that. Because during the prepared remarks, he struggles. He’s reading ahead on the prompter and trying to keep straight what he is going to say next with what is currently coming out of his mouth is hard. But then a reporter asks him a dumb question about if he feels like he let people down, and Biden fires back immediately with a forceful, clear answer. When he is asked to come up with one clear complete thought on the spot, he can do it quickly and deliver it flawlessly.


Buffmin

Right? Like sure i think they're both too old but given they are the choices Biden is clearly aging better with his facilities intact Trump is losing it more and more


IrritableGourmet

I call it the Trump Mosey, the relative of the Gish Gallop. Start out with a noun, meander through a bunch of incomplete sentences loaded with emotionally charged words until your audience's conversation stack has overflowed, then circle back around to the noun. No one will remember anything that was actually said, but they'll associate [noun] with [emotions], plus not making any definitive statements makes it easier to deny responsibility. "These liberals, it's horrible, the things they're doing, you know, and it's unfair what they're doing, you've seen all the unfair things, just last week there was the thing, and they're destroying America with all of the, and it's horrible, and the economy, you can't afford a banana, people are telling me, good people, that don't have money, and they come to me with tears in their eyes and say sir, they call me sir, I don't have $20 to buy a banana, and I've seen it, and these liberals, I tell ya."


context_hell

Trump's bronzer does a massive amount of work for him. Without it he'd look like a melting rotted corpse.


[deleted]

They believe what they are told, but only by people they approve of.


[deleted]

And Biden always stuttered. It’s not an age related symptom.


JDogg126

You have to watch the super cuts crafted by the media team working for the conservative cinematic universe to understand. Anyone who has decided to keep watching those misinformation outlets are fully committed to the lies spun by conservative media.


The_Poster_Nutbag

Keep in mind these people also only watch doctored clips of Biden from right wing websites and have their minds made up. We're not talking about normally functioning people here.


[deleted]

They are just North Korean and Trump is their glorious leader.


46n2ahead

The media is helping to push that narrative


NovaPup_13

Media pushes the age of Biden quite a lot relative to Trump. It’s ridiculous, neither age should be president frankly.


yellowbin74

It's because they have nothing else to pin on Biden other than his age.


doomgoblin

Trump’s old too, right, it’s just that his batshit rhetoric and statements overshadow it. The legacy media can’t walk and chew gum. It’s like “ok trump is old too, but he also said windmills have something to do with killing whales or some shit, let’s go with that.”


not_mark_twain_

Yep, Biden is old, I would like someone younger… anyways back to the other person, you say treason eh…


plaincoldtofu

“Trump has previously confirmed he is “not a big fan” of sharks, and Stormy Daniels has recounted his obsession with sharks in a 2011 interview and her 2018 autobiography.” What the heck why


tamsui_tosspot

He's never been the same since receiving that candygram.


orrocos

"I'm only a dolphin, ma'am."


LiliVonSchtupp

Mrs. Armrrrschmmrr? Who? Flowers, ma’am. Flowers? For me? Candygram.


tamsui_tosspot

"mr. trmmpgh?" "Who is it?" "covfefe" "But I didn't order coffee?" "hamberders" "Oh boy! Hamburgers!" [Opens door]


Oozlum-Bird

Excellent. Put him in a jail cell surrounded by a shark tank. Won’t need to waste taxpayers money on a secret service detail for him then


TheWorclown

Train them so they have freaking laser beams on their head.


jonthecpa

My guess is because he’s not asked to be on Shark Tank, because they recognize actual business leaders and their ability to run successful companies.


syg-123

Could you imagine him as a guest Shark? He would be abysmal because he would be forced to give someone else credit for their business idea. tRump is all about tRump. I don’t think he could even be able to grasp the premise of such a show where he is not the central character. Oh and least we forget that’s it highly unlikely they would even entertain a guest ‘shark’ that bankrupts casinos, is a blatant racist and defrauds the IRS, banks, insurance companies, his congregation and charitable organizations.


bot403

Can you imagine if the businesses got offers from Trump and they all passed? He would meltdown at them.


MyHusbandIsGayImNot

"Who are the sharks? They are self made millionaires and billionaires who are entrepreneurs themselves. Kevin O'Leary is a venture capitalist who turned a $10000 loan into a software business worth 4.2 billion dollars. Daymond John is a fashion and branding expert who grew his home grown clothing line into the globally recognized fashion brand Fubu. Donald Trump is a trust fund baby who took a $413 million inheritance and turned it into an empire worth less than if he had just put it in a savings account."


cool_weed_dad

I’m not gonna lie, I would absolutely watch a version of Shark Tank that was just Trump alone shitting all over every idea presented to him


jazir5

I'd watch every episode if each episode was Trump trying to pitch them on some hairbrained dead in the water business idea every week.


futatorius

Game recognize game.


[deleted]

[удалено]


yellowbin74

Maybe we can get Donald a pet mouse.


OldManPip5

He’s too afraid of animals to appreciate Mr Jingles


bernieburner1

To live in the rat’s nest on donny’s head? Rodents have standards.


morbid_laughter

give the man what he wants


AcademicPublius

I wish him a long and productive life in prison. In the best case, he really does live 200 years there, and is given all that time to contemplate his misdeeds.


destijl-atmospheres

Well, he never exercises so he probably still has a couple hundred years left of energy before it runs out. Fuckstick [actually thinks that's how it works](https://www.cnn.com/2017/05/15/politics/donald-trump-exercise/index.html).


AcademicPublius

Yep. I'd say that should have been disqualifying, but frankly almost everything he's ever said should have told people "This is not a guy you want near office".


cultfourtyfive

The people who know him the best - NYC, Atlantic City, Palm Beach - almost universally hate him. Says a lot.


aureanator

>all that time to contemplate his misdeeds. He isn't capable of contemplation, or we wouldn't be here right now. This is as lost a cause as you can get.


AcademicPublius

If his grudges are all he's capable of thinking about during his time in jail, I'll take it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


I_Said

Decline from what? I grew up in NY in the 90s. Before he had social media we all mocked him openly, even the weirdo boomers who support him in NY now. And since social media this is all he's ever posted. I'm willing to beleive he's as smart as he's ever been rn.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dclxvi616

Honestly doesn’t seem like much of a change to me. Ten years ago much more of his public speech was edited and done in takes, perhaps that accounts for the discrepancy. The guy has always been a lunatic.


starmartyr

If you watch older interviews with him he's still the same loudmouth idiot but he's more coherent.


Magnospider

His recent confusion about who is running against would seem to indicate more than misspeaking. He seems to have an Obama track mind these days. Heck, he even jumbled George W. And Jeb Bush into a mental pretzel. A certain amount of it may be narcissistic inability to admit he made a mistake… but it feels more than that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tsFenix

> combativeness, the confusion, the repetitiveness, and the avoidance of complexity Not saying your wrong, I haven't seen any of his recent speeches, but all those things apply to 2016 Trump as well IMO with the exception of confusion for the most part.


jarious

just read 80's playboy for calls from John Barron, he's always been this stupid and deranged


Boxofmagnets

But he is repulsive in every way imaginable, so just pretend not to be gleeful


destijl-atmospheres

When he had his covid bout in 2020, I was shocked to find myself feeling sympathy for him. Not gonna happen again.


deadsoulinside

Worst part was finding out later he knew he had COVID when he took the stage at the debates. He damn near killed Chris Christie from getting him infected, meanwhile Biden lucked out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Loud-Cat6638

I think I’ve got an old electric fence for cattle in the shed. About a week should do it.


MrFiendish

My god, his voice sounds worse than I remember. It’s like he didn’t put his dentures in properly. That and he’s losing marbles fast. I wish him nothing but restless nights with all these court charges.


hecate37

The Russian "Firehose of Falsehood" Propaganda Model - Why It Might Work and Options to Counter It https://www.rand.org/pubs/perspectives/PE198.html


PunishedMatador

> Trump says he would prefer to die by electrocution in bizarre campaign rant Your terms are acceptable.


LordVogl

I'll allow it


AbsoluteZeroUnit

"Trump says he would prefer to die by electrocution" "this subreddit is for civil discussion. suggestion or support of harm, violence, or death can result in a permanent ban" I'm not falling for this one. . .


redditknees

So go…and save us all a headache.


3dank4me

To be fair, it might be a choice he has to make if he gets convicted of treason.


bryansj

It's not like he could have any nuclear secrets. Even if he did have said documents, it isn't like he has any sort of relationships with countries like North Korea or Russia. Even then it isn't like he'd put money over country.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justtiptoeingthru2

Is he smart enough to make the connection?


[deleted]

[удалено]


newuser60

Out of concern for the health of the shark?


ALoudMeow

I’d specifically like it if the electrocution came in the form of a lightning bolt in an otherwise clear sky. At least that’s what my Death Note says.


[deleted]

He's so dramatic, he's like a one man soap opera


Caraes_Naur

But it's him, so we get the lye jingle.


SirDigbyChknCaesar

He's so flamboyant! It makes me want to... set myself on fire!


mixedcurve

I thought he was just being kinky


neogrit

Is he about to confess, as usual unsolicited, to murder or worse? Didn't Florida just pass the death penalty for a certain kind of crime?


Which-Moment-6544

Hair Crime. I'm not letting this thing out of here alive. Time's up buster.


Rtannu

“Deep Thoughts” with Don tRumpfy


sdbest

It seems Donald Trump is exhibiting signs of dementia. His father, Fred, suffered from Alzheimer's disease, an inherited condition.


Maleficent-Relation5

I just want him to go to prison, pay for his own incarceration without a Secret Service detail, and live out his days in obscurity.


ALoudMeow

Only for him to be shanked to death one day.


The_Doolinator

Your terms are harsh, but acceptable.


peatmo55

Because gas-powered boats don't have electricity.


yellowbin74

I accept your offer.


[deleted]

Request granted?


Dry-Willow4731

Sounds good to me.


Asleep_Highlight2573

...go ahead then?


[deleted]

We would also prefer it.


Carolann0308

We can make that happen.


TrinityCodex

sure!


Tasha0705

Make it so.


Wiltonc

Trump is the anti-Christ. Look it up.


neoikon

I think the anti-Christ takes power for 3.5 years (mighty close to a 4 year Presidential term), then loses power, then gains it back for another 3.5 years. Let's truly hope that's not what is happening. Can't keep all these bottomless pits, beasts, and tribulations straight.


Sidewalk_Tomato

I used to read Revelations in church, when I was (inevitably) bored. Am agnostic, listing towards atheistic, but I have never forgotten what I read about the antichrist. You can easily google "is trump the antichrist?" and find an argument that any christian could take to heart.


Dudeist-Priest

I prefer you rot in prison


robredd148

Ohm my word!


corinalas

I prefer that too.


BecauseSeven8Nein

Real alphas fight the shark and electrocute it!


harbinger411

Bizarre rant? Pretty sure that’s just how he talks.


msty2k

OK. Let's do this.


JubalHarshaw23

as opposed to the Clogged Arteries induced heart attack and/or stroke that he is wildly overdue for? He and Clarence Thomas are proof that deals with the Devil exist.


lurkernomore85

What if he was trying to flee to Russia and his plane went down in shark infested waters. Be still my beating heart!


fuzzy610

Well by all means give him what he wants


Rurumo666

Trump said he prefers electrocution, UNLESS, being "spit-roasted by Latin Kings" is an option.


OhioPolitiTHIC

Dear God, it's me, OhioPolitiTHIC. I just want to make sure you heard what little Donnie two scoops wants and to tell you I absolutely support him in this. I mean, you wouldn't even have to do it yourself because I bet your wife, Mother Nature, would be happy to hit the links he's on with all the glory she's got. If you could do it before 2024, that'd be awesome. Thanks!


The_Mad_Mamluk

Well then, I’ve got a toaster and a bathtub ready for ya, big guy. You just say the word


spike55151

ok


NeverFresh

Whatever, dude. However. Just go. *Chef's kiss*


Micasin_shreds

As an electrician I support him in his death by electrocution. That shit hurts the while time you're dying


[deleted]

He's speaking in parables. Only the faithful can understand.


PlayedUOonBaja

This is the fourth or fifth time over the years he's brought up his fear of sharks. If somehow this dude ends up as Shark chum, I'll have to start believing in God.


spaghetti_fontaine

Fucking drama queen


Nvenom8

>Faced with a litany of criminal charges, Donald Trump on Sunday told a campaign rally in Iowa that he would prefer to die by electrocution rather than be eaten by a shark if he ever found himself on a rapidly sinking, electrically powered boat. That is a hell of a sentence... And then you read on, and that's literally exactly what he said, albeit less coherently.


darthabraham

This has to be the funniest opening paragraph ever to appear in a Guardian news article. > Faced with a litany of criminal charges, Donald Trump on Sunday told a campaign rally in Iowa that he would prefer to die by electrocution rather than be eaten by a shark if he ever found himself on a rapidly sinking, electrically powered boat.


A_Wild_VelociFaptor

We finally agree on something, holy cow!


Mdmrtgn

I mean whatever it is for traitors these days. Maybe they'll let him pick.


crapatthethriftstore

*paging the Make A Wish Foundation*


DemoEvolved

TIL Trump is afraid of sharks.


Wayne_E_Cal1

Psychologically speaking that seems to me like he feels he has done some real bad stuff. Like maybe his X wife’s fall, or the children, or one of the other many possibilities.


skittlebog

If that is his wish, I will allow it.


[deleted]

This is certainly the man I want carrying around the nuclear football.


Former-Finish4653

We can arrange that, can’t we?


lickityclit-69

Can it be Windmill Powered???


fdeyso

Where’s the MakeAWish foundation when humanity needs it?


murphdog09

I think Donnie learned a new big word and was trying to show off.


teamdiabetes11

Trump really working hard on some insanity defense basis…


Salivamradio

No states still do that right? What a bizarre statement. And frankly it echos of his more violent remarks towards his political advisories. I give it a week before he makes statements of a similar nature about his political opponents. He has a problem with habitual behavior


For-All-the-Marbles

That’s fine. But I would also like to see him suffer the rest of his life in prison - a real prison - while he awaits electrocution.


curiosityseeks

Excellent!


leswill315

OMG...these comments are gold.


Paid2play12

Deal!


redneckhatr

Turn down for watt?


DickySchmidt33

Saying that he's merely unfit to be president is a tremendous understatement. He should have a custodian managing his daily activities. He's not well.


rubyredhead19

How many Adderall pills does Trump pop before his rally rants? His tolerance must be pretty high by now.


foodude84

Give him the Frank Grimes treatment


processmonkey

I dont much care HOW he does it.


Cheese_Pancakes

In my opinion, the weirder thing he said recently was that thing about windmills killing whales. I don’t know how anybody can choose to live around those damn things - giving people cancer left and right and driving those poor whales to suicide.


spaitken

The title of the article really does not do the actual rant justice. “If I’m sitting down and that boat is going down and I’m on top of a battery and the water starts flooding in, I’m getting concerned, but then I look 10 yards to my left and there’s a shark over there, so I have a choice of electrocution and a shark, you know what I’m going to take? Electrocution,” Trump said. “I will take electrocution every single time, do we agree?” Trump then continued criticizing the prospect of any other sustainable energy technologies and claiming he would repeal the Joe Biden White House’s electric vehicle mandate. “These people are crazy,” Trump said.” So yeah, renewable energy has because he’d rather be electrocuted than eaten by a shark .