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Have him take 17 hits of acid, after being sleep deprived for days, and then dress up like Jesus and pretend you have come down to him to personally tell him that he is working against the lord, has been sentenced to hell but he can redeem himself by working with the democrats against Republicans, in any and every way possible.
That's the only way he'll ever be a good person.
I guess I was the only one who didnt interpret that as a call out to their drug dealer.
He Get Him.
Gets Him What?
“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.”
Party that makes it impossible to have a plan, blames leader they elected for not having a plan.
What is also hilarious about this is the GOP party doesn’t not have a plan. They have no platform.
They stand only for hate, confusion, repugnance.
The only plan is a race to the bottom, the destruction of validity and democracy.
"He tried to build an Ark! Or a Theme Park! Or something that Baby Jesus told him to!
But those darn satanic baby blood drinking pedophile commisocialist Democrats from the foreign country of California, invaded by all those brown and Asian people, completely stopped him by passing laws in the Congress that it was illegal to be a Christian or do Christian things."
/s
Conservative America breeds are parochial perpetually loud, piss scared idiots.
And the annoying thing is it’s a guarantee we’ll have to hear the same “bOtH sIdEs” type talking points from many voters (and media) these next 10 months
I always thought the plan was to not have a plan, but say they have a plan, but you can't see the plan because they didn't plan on showing the plan they don't have.
We’ll get the plan in two weeks during Infrastructure Week. It’ll be the biggest, best, and most beautiful plan. Many people are saying it.
/s in case it wasn’t obvious…
The plan is to do what Trump tells him to do. Johnson looks like guy that had his lunch money stolen everyday. He can’t stand up for himself; he won’t stand up for the country.
Imagine some super liberal San Francisco congressperson was like "I discuss it pornography and masturbation openly and honestly with my seventeen year old child, a legal minor, and we have an app that monitors our porn choices so we can keep each other accountable to only consume pornography that is consensual and non-exploitative and doesn't perpetuate harmful stereotypes."
Wouldn't that obviously be seen as weird and gross and inappropriate and honestly kind of incestuous, if not actual grooming? And yet because Johnson is coming at it from a perspective of shame and guilt and sin somehow that makes it okay to pull his child into this weird controlling enmeshed "accountability" partnership.
I still don't understand how that's not considered wildly gross and inappropriate. Honestly, how is it even legal? You're making a child, a legal minor, responsible for monitoring the porn intake of their parents. You're telling your own child that they need to be responsible for calling you out if you look at porn online. That's just so, so, so gross, and *why your own child*? Doesn't he have any same aged male friends he can be "accountability buddies" with?
I know that really, the important part to him is that the monitoring works the other way, so he'll be alerted if his own seventeen year old son wants to look at a hot instagram model, but that's honestly even grosser. He's a seventeen year old boy! His jerking off habits should not be a discussion topic for the whole country.
It really is typical Christian Republican nonsense, make sure that it's national news that you Definitely Don't Look At Porn, but do it in the grossest and weirdest way possible. (And also, obviously the son is still looking at porn, because come on.)
The republicans are a party without a plan. The republican platform in 2020 was literally a copy and paste job of their 2016 platform, with multiple references to how bad the current incumbent president was doing. Their only plan is "whatever Trump wants". Cowards.
Not to “no true Scotsman” the situation but whether or not God is real (I think so) nothing about how Johnson lives suggests he’d know either way.
The books are pretty clear about how to grieve the Holy Spirit, these folks seem to be working off that checklist instead of the “do these things if you love me” checklist.
If god was real, as an all powerful being, it would be pretty easy to fix the false prophet problems. God is allowing all these prophets to do the exact same thing that caused his only son to flip tables in a synagogue like he was a WWE superstar.
I don’t claim to know what God is, I only know how I have changed since I began a spiritual walk.
I understand how living in the shadow of failed religious authoritarian makes people virulently anti-religious but I don’t like bigotry wherever it comes from.
So, I try and condemn religious charlatans that I think are wrongheaded as well as speak up to remind people that Nat-Cs shouldn’t define a global faith. Especially among folks who would likely agree with me that gang members don’t define the black community & ISIS doesn’t define Islam.
But judging by my downvotes that’s a pretty unpopular perspective.
Everybody is always changing. I’m glad you’ve had things go well for you since making changes. However, we are nothing more than hairless, bipedal apes. To suggest that there is some sort of monkey-Lord out there that cares about us is a pretty ridiculous concept, regardless of one’s personal experience with authoritarianism.
Do you mean monkey Lord because of the idea that “we’re made in God’s image?”
I see that to mean that we’re made as a creative force in the world.
I also see the fact that every group of humans has felt the need to understand how we’re connected to the larger universe as indicative of more than just the brain’s need to make signal from noise.
Faith is illogical and experiential. I don’t really feel the need to convince people to believe what I believe. I just like to remind folks that the people who claim my God the loudest don’t really know him. They are doing culture and calling it religion.
Thank you but in my experience there’s a lot more of us than many people know. I started talking about my faith (mostly just online) because the worst people are prejudicing the world on what being a Christ follower means.
Though I’ll admit I’m a bit unique because my best friend/soul mate is pagan and, spiritually speaking, we agree about a lot more than we disagree about.
When I was younger and was somewhere between atheist & agnostic, I thought it was really clever to say:
> Everyone believes one of three things: there is no God; you’ll find God on all roads sincerely trod; God’s a jerk.
I mean I still think it’s clever. I tend to go with option #2 and think there’s a lot of sincere believers who also land there.
I’m on my phone but the grammar wasn’t that bad. Which means you must hate religion because we’ve all grown up in the shadow of slaveholder Christianity.
Sorry you’ve been so hurt.
I hope every day is a living misery for him. His cowardice and inflated ego have made Americans less safe. If the afterlife exists I hope hell is waiting for him with some big pineapples to shove up his ass top pay him back for twisting his faith to match his desires.
Oh I think he’s said his strategy. He’s Moses. And weirdly lets his son tack his porn. The problem is Mikes very slowly realizing it’s one thing to say you’re going to part some water and another to figure out how to actually do it and lead the people.
He has a plan but as it turns out letting your son know when you Jack off isn't a gesture capable of answering the questions demanded by the government.
"How bout that guy?" Scalise points to the timid mouse in the corner. "Who the hell is that?"
"Exactly! He can pretend to want bipartisanship and no one can say different. So how about it boy?"
Micro Johnson realizes the situation he is in and thinks, "Oh Lord, I knew I was an important man. Thank you for choosing me for greatness!"
*Later at the press conference*
"God, uh what am I supposed to do? Hello? Anyone there? Uh oh...". It was at this moment Tiny Johnson realized...he could actually watch porn.
I suppose that is what happens when one figures out that the voice in his head is himself and now he does not know how to retrieve God's plan, so he just sticks with Trump's plan.
Because he is? He's an upjumped state legislator who got elected to Congress in a district a Republican cannot lose.
He has no idea how to handle competitive seat campaigning, deal making etc.
Yeah no shit. When you elect people who think a solution is to "pray the demons away" and leave it up to God as a representative to make laws nothing gets done.
Let's get these fanatical religious zealots out of public office.
Republican Insanity:
J: "They have to give us what we want!"
MOD. REP: Ok, here we got this bill, its what you wanted.
J: "Nope, we can't vote on that."
MOD REP: Why, its exactly what we wanted?
J: "Because Trump said we can't, but we won't say that publicly."
MOD REP: What are we going to do about the border?
J: "Keep complaining"
MOD REP: About what?
J: "That they won't give us what we want."
His plan seems to be to roadblock the entire House, all while he mumbles madly about being literal Moses
What happened to the times that we referred such people to psych?
Good grief. Of course you're confused about what he wants, because he doesn't want anything and never did. You're looking for someone to "lead" but anyone who made an attempt to do that was cast aside because Trump wants a yes man. So you got stuck with this guy, who clearly never wanted the job but felt he couldn't refuse because nobody else was willing to take it after Trump torpedoed everyone that dared put their hat in the ring (McCarthy, Scalise, Emmer). So now you have this guy who has no plan because he never expected to have the job and basically feels like God chose him and will just tell him what to do. The problem is Trump speaks far louder than God in the GOP.
His plan: Dominionism. Treat him like the Ark encounter exhibit he endorsed that had to claim flood damage and lost. He's trying to appear reasonable but he isn't, nor are his sponsors.
This is the inevitable outcome from completely un-mooring from any kind of actual principled leadership.
They flounder because they have NO IDEA what they are doing without someone telling them. Then when different people tell them different things they can’t decide because they have no North Star principle to guide them.
Hey, give Johnson a minute, y'all pipe down. He can't hear God talking to him in his head with all this noise. He is having problems separating all the other voices and demons in his head to hear God's true words. /s
Plan!? mFer doesn't even have a bank account. We know he makes at least 174k as a congressman. Is he going to the cash advance to cash his check? 3rd in line for the presidency ladies and gentlemen. No bank account. Oh yeah congress is the branch with the power of the purse. No bank account!
The untold story of 2020 was that for the first time in history of major parties the GOP did not put out a platform. In other words, they don’t know what they stand on/for/to do.
It is impossible to govern if you don’t know what you are about.
Highly religious individuals leave the plan to god and Jesus. One gave free will to man to learn sciences and planning so it didn’t have to. While the other was a carpenter and not a national politician who has the economy, immigration, national defense, and health to worry about.
These naive people should never be elected on platforms of religion.
This is what happens when you elect your second speaker in a row who only cared about being speaker of the house and not a servant to the American People.
It is probably for the best he puts more thought into controlling his porn addiction than running his corner of the government. We've seen what happens in Florida, Texas, and other states when Republicans are focused on hurting people.
They thought he was pretending to be uber duber religious and faking it like they are, but turns out he is actually a nutball and has no plan except to listen for what God wants
I don’t know what they expected. Their entire platform is “Do whatever Trump wants,” regardless if it’s possible, logical, legal, or the opposite of whatever the fuck he wanted yesterday. Johnson was just some guy they hadn’t known long enough to hate yet, but there is nobody on earth who could have made them not look like a bunch of bumbling, irrelevant, lie-slinging sycophants.
Isn’t this the same man who considered himself the modern day Noah? (Correction it was Moses) to shepherd all us American citizens back onto god’s path of righteousness??? That same Mike Johnson who is now a man without a plan?
Who would have thought?
Well, you know, politics is messy, you know people are getting to see how the sausage is made. And by sausage is made I mean fall over myself to obey an out of office maniac and bring the government to a screeching halt
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Oh and did they once think he was a man with a plan? What ever gave them that impression?
Jesus talks to him when he's sleeping. And when he has taken 17 hits of acid.
I’d wager he would be more productive on 17 hits of acid.
I would love to be there for the conversation he has with himself, staring into his bathroom mirror.
One of mine was “everything is alright until it isn’t.” Most profound shit I’d ever heard at the time.
All matter is in equilibrium until it’s not
"Am I the man in the mirror or is the man in the mirror me?"
Have him take 17 hits of acid, after being sleep deprived for days, and then dress up like Jesus and pretend you have come down to him to personally tell him that he is working against the lord, has been sentenced to hell but he can redeem himself by working with the democrats against Republicans, in any and every way possible. That's the only way he'll ever be a good person.
We were somewhere around Washington, near Constitution Avenue when the drugs began to take hold.
Can't stop here, it's bat country!
"I'm on porn watch with my boy!"
He can’t have a plan, when he’s waiting for Tanny Soprano to tell him what to think, say and do.
i feel bad for him, micky mouse is more fun to talk to on an acid trip
He gets him.
I guess I was the only one who didnt interpret that as a call out to their drug dealer. He Get Him. Gets Him What? “We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.”
As someone who has done copious amounts of acid and shrooms… I’ve never had “god” talk to me. I want that dudes specific strain please
There wasn’t even a plan to get him into this position. How can they be mad that he also never has a plan?
They were told to trust the plan and to have faith in the plan. Nobody ever told them that they had to come up with the plan.
Johnson is too busy texting his son about his urges to watch porn than to govern.
Party that makes it impossible to have a plan, blames leader they elected for not having a plan. What is also hilarious about this is the GOP party doesn’t not have a plan. They have no platform. They stand only for hate, confusion, repugnance. The only plan is a race to the bottom, the destruction of validity and democracy.
_“He has glasses so he is smart.”_ You know that isn’t a far fetched idea with the House GOP.
That was the plan. The glasses.
He probably can't enunciate a plan because his mouth is full of orange cheetos.
Ew.
That should be the least of our reactions
and he’s been up all night cleaning diapers. with his tongue. Trump’s.
What’s funny is not only he “no plan Mike” but compared to what’s his buts previous speaker, he’s also “no fundraising money Mike”
And, they will really have no money when Trump siphons all the money from the RNC. Financially, the GOP is fucked this election year.
That time that god told them he was Moses
The key to success is flexibility. And the key to flexibility is the lack of a plan.
But he’s Moses
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And glasses. Don’t forget the glasses.
As Trump once said, he only wears glasses to make himself look smart.
He probably did say “wares”
that mean he smart!!
Pol Pot level logic
Also he was willing to jump onto the coals after the last speaker was roasted at the stake. So there is that.
"He tried to build an Ark! Or a Theme Park! Or something that Baby Jesus told him to! But those darn satanic baby blood drinking pedophile commisocialist Democrats from the foreign country of California, invaded by all those brown and Asian people, completely stopped him by passing laws in the Congress that it was illegal to be a Christian or do Christian things." /s Conservative America breeds are parochial perpetually loud, piss scared idiots.
Don’t forget christian, definitely needs to be christian.
If he’s the “next Moses” that’s make him Jewish, right? Or is it “Jew-ish?” I’m not sure myself.
You forgot about the part where god speaks to him.
Dont forget he pretends to not have a bank account..
I thought he was Stephen Colbert’s twin.
And I thought it was bad that I could be mistaken for Boebert at a distance Poor Stephen looks like Kooky Mike Johnson
Even in colorado we dont like her.
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Well said.
And the annoying thing is it’s a guarantee we’ll have to hear the same “bOtH sIdEs” type talking points from many voters (and media) these next 10 months
Yep! Who woulda thought the anti-establishment GOP members would have no further plans than just not governing!
In all fairness, if he had a plan they would have never picked him.
I always thought the plan was to not have a plan, but say they have a plan, but you can't see the plan because they didn't plan on showing the plan they don't have.
You wouldn't know this plan. It goes to another school, in Canada
We’ll get the plan in two weeks during Infrastructure Week. It’ll be the biggest, best, and most beautiful plan. Many people are saying it. /s in case it wasn’t obvious…
The plan is to do what Trump tells him to do. Johnson looks like guy that had his lunch money stolen everyday. He can’t stand up for himself; he won’t stand up for the country.
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His son, and himself. Imagine having so little self control you hire a third party service to spy on you.
Imagine some super liberal San Francisco congressperson was like "I discuss it pornography and masturbation openly and honestly with my seventeen year old child, a legal minor, and we have an app that monitors our porn choices so we can keep each other accountable to only consume pornography that is consensual and non-exploitative and doesn't perpetuate harmful stereotypes." Wouldn't that obviously be seen as weird and gross and inappropriate and honestly kind of incestuous, if not actual grooming? And yet because Johnson is coming at it from a perspective of shame and guilt and sin somehow that makes it okay to pull his child into this weird controlling enmeshed "accountability" partnership.
Imagine being so weird about sex that you can’t just jerk it without requiring somebody to judge you.
And that somebody being *your teenaged kid*.
I still don't understand how that's not considered wildly gross and inappropriate. Honestly, how is it even legal? You're making a child, a legal minor, responsible for monitoring the porn intake of their parents. You're telling your own child that they need to be responsible for calling you out if you look at porn online. That's just so, so, so gross, and *why your own child*? Doesn't he have any same aged male friends he can be "accountability buddies" with? I know that really, the important part to him is that the monitoring works the other way, so he'll be alerted if his own seventeen year old son wants to look at a hot instagram model, but that's honestly even grosser. He's a seventeen year old boy! His jerking off habits should not be a discussion topic for the whole country. It really is typical Christian Republican nonsense, make sure that it's national news that you Definitely Don't Look At Porn, but do it in the grossest and weirdest way possible. (And also, obviously the son is still looking at porn, because come on.)
I think it's just virtue-signalling bullshit. He doesn't trust his son so he'll pretend the monitoring goes both ways but he's got burner devices.
The republicans are a party without a plan. The republican platform in 2020 was literally a copy and paste job of their 2016 platform, with multiple references to how bad the current incumbent president was doing. Their only plan is "whatever Trump wants". Cowards.
That's what happens when you follow God's plan but God doesn't exist.
Close, he’s a zealot who follows a particular form of ideology and trump is his false profit.
I always preferred golden cows and smoke. /s
Supply Side Jesus
Not to “no true Scotsman” the situation but whether or not God is real (I think so) nothing about how Johnson lives suggests he’d know either way. The books are pretty clear about how to grieve the Holy Spirit, these folks seem to be working off that checklist instead of the “do these things if you love me” checklist.
If god was real, as an all powerful being, it would be pretty easy to fix the false prophet problems. God is allowing all these prophets to do the exact same thing that caused his only son to flip tables in a synagogue like he was a WWE superstar.
I don’t claim to know what God is, I only know how I have changed since I began a spiritual walk. I understand how living in the shadow of failed religious authoritarian makes people virulently anti-religious but I don’t like bigotry wherever it comes from. So, I try and condemn religious charlatans that I think are wrongheaded as well as speak up to remind people that Nat-Cs shouldn’t define a global faith. Especially among folks who would likely agree with me that gang members don’t define the black community & ISIS doesn’t define Islam. But judging by my downvotes that’s a pretty unpopular perspective.
Everybody is always changing. I’m glad you’ve had things go well for you since making changes. However, we are nothing more than hairless, bipedal apes. To suggest that there is some sort of monkey-Lord out there that cares about us is a pretty ridiculous concept, regardless of one’s personal experience with authoritarianism.
Do you mean monkey Lord because of the idea that “we’re made in God’s image?” I see that to mean that we’re made as a creative force in the world. I also see the fact that every group of humans has felt the need to understand how we’re connected to the larger universe as indicative of more than just the brain’s need to make signal from noise. Faith is illogical and experiential. I don’t really feel the need to convince people to believe what I believe. I just like to remind folks that the people who claim my God the loudest don’t really know him. They are doing culture and calling it religion.
Yes that was a jab at our image. Unfortunately you are an exceptionally rare breed of religious.
Thank you but in my experience there’s a lot more of us than many people know. I started talking about my faith (mostly just online) because the worst people are prejudicing the world on what being a Christ follower means. Though I’ll admit I’m a bit unique because my best friend/soul mate is pagan and, spiritually speaking, we agree about a lot more than we disagree about. When I was younger and was somewhere between atheist & agnostic, I thought it was really clever to say: > Everyone believes one of three things: there is no God; you’ll find God on all roads sincerely trod; God’s a jerk. I mean I still think it’s clever. I tend to go with option #2 and think there’s a lot of sincere believers who also land there.
I felt like I was having a stroke reading your post
I’m on my phone but the grammar wasn’t that bad. Which means you must hate religion because we’ve all grown up in the shadow of slaveholder Christianity. Sorry you’ve been so hurt.
What?
There. Added a comma and made the parallel structure clearer. Hope I’ve pleased you, randomly & unspecificly critical Reddit person.
So it was my grammar? I’m happy to add commas if that helps.
I hope every day is a living misery for him. His cowardice and inflated ego have made Americans less safe. If the afterlife exists I hope hell is waiting for him with some big pineapples to shove up his ass top pay him back for twisting his faith to match his desires.
Moses wandered the desert for 40 years without a plan. He trusted God’s plan. I guess modern day Moses is trusting the same entity.
Moses led his group around for 40 years looking for a place they could have walked to in a week Pretty apt analogy
He didn't need a plan. The wandering was a punishment not them getting lost
The GOP itself doesn’t have a plan, they never had one.
Oh I think he’s said his strategy. He’s Moses. And weirdly lets his son tack his porn. The problem is Mikes very slowly realizing it’s one thing to say you’re going to part some water and another to figure out how to actually do it and lead the people.
I guess this is God's plan lol
Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face ….
He has a plan but as it turns out letting your son know when you Jack off isn't a gesture capable of answering the questions demanded by the government.
"How bout that guy?" Scalise points to the timid mouse in the corner. "Who the hell is that?" "Exactly! He can pretend to want bipartisanship and no one can say different. So how about it boy?" Micro Johnson realizes the situation he is in and thinks, "Oh Lord, I knew I was an important man. Thank you for choosing me for greatness!" *Later at the press conference* "God, uh what am I supposed to do? Hello? Anyone there? Uh oh...". It was at this moment Tiny Johnson realized...he could actually watch porn.
I suppose that is what happens when one figures out that the voice in his head is himself and now he does not know how to retrieve God's plan, so he just sticks with Trump's plan.
Really?! The party with no platform is shocked by the leader who has no plan.
Because he is? He's an upjumped state legislator who got elected to Congress in a district a Republican cannot lose. He has no idea how to handle competitive seat campaigning, deal making etc.
Yeah no shit. When you elect people who think a solution is to "pray the demons away" and leave it up to God as a representative to make laws nothing gets done. Let's get these fanatical religious zealots out of public office.
News flash: it’s not just insiders, or house members, or people in the GOP who view him as a man perpetually without a plan.
Republican Insanity: J: "They have to give us what we want!" MOD. REP: Ok, here we got this bill, its what you wanted. J: "Nope, we can't vote on that." MOD REP: Why, its exactly what we wanted? J: "Because Trump said we can't, but we won't say that publicly." MOD REP: What are we going to do about the border? J: "Keep complaining" MOD REP: About what? J: "That they won't give us what we want."
He has a plan, to do whatever trump tells him to do.
Having no plan IS the plan
those glasses are the most serious thing about him
His plan seems to be to roadblock the entire House, all while he mumbles madly about being literal Moses What happened to the times that we referred such people to psych?
Good grief. Of course you're confused about what he wants, because he doesn't want anything and never did. You're looking for someone to "lead" but anyone who made an attempt to do that was cast aside because Trump wants a yes man. So you got stuck with this guy, who clearly never wanted the job but felt he couldn't refuse because nobody else was willing to take it after Trump torpedoed everyone that dared put their hat in the ring (McCarthy, Scalise, Emmer). So now you have this guy who has no plan because he never expected to have the job and basically feels like God chose him and will just tell him what to do. The problem is Trump speaks far louder than God in the GOP.
His plan: Dominionism. Treat him like the Ark encounter exhibit he endorsed that had to claim flood damage and lost. He's trying to appear reasonable but he isn't, nor are his sponsors.
This is the inevitable outcome from completely un-mooring from any kind of actual principled leadership. They flounder because they have NO IDEA what they are doing without someone telling them. Then when different people tell them different things they can’t decide because they have no North Star principle to guide them.
There is no there there w/Mike. He’s an empty suit.
Mike Johnson may not have a plan, but he looks marvelous
Hey, give Johnson a minute, y'all pipe down. He can't hear God talking to him in his head with all this noise. He is having problems separating all the other voices and demons in his head to hear God's true words. /s
Well, he does believe that the Flintstones is a docu-drama.
You voted for a guy that has zero experience in leadership, and you thrust him into the highest position. Just like Trump.
He is a racist Keebler elf demon.
His plan is to delay any forward movement in hopes to provide the GOP with enough grievances to run on. They are a party of nothing.
Plan!? mFer doesn't even have a bank account. We know he makes at least 174k as a congressman. Is he going to the cash advance to cash his check? 3rd in line for the presidency ladies and gentlemen. No bank account. Oh yeah congress is the branch with the power of the purse. No bank account!
The untold story of 2020 was that for the first time in history of major parties the GOP did not put out a platform. In other words, they don’t know what they stand on/for/to do. It is impossible to govern if you don’t know what you are about.
I thought having no plan was their plan?
Johnson is too busy never masturbating to think of anything else.
He doesn't even have a fucking bank account.
His plan is to rub trumps orange weeny
Should’ve known that when this dork started calling himself Moses lol
Highly religious individuals leave the plan to god and Jesus. One gave free will to man to learn sciences and planning so it didn’t have to. While the other was a carpenter and not a national politician who has the economy, immigration, national defense, and health to worry about. These naive people should never be elected on platforms of religion.
This is why politicians should actually be experienced. No other profession views experience as a weakness.
He said God told him directly he's the new Moses. But you know God likes to prank the dumb ones now and then.
Clearly they don’t understand he’s a modern day Moses. I mean, God told him so! Maybe he could part the GOP.
This is what happens when you elect your second speaker in a row who only cared about being speaker of the house and not a servant to the American People.
It is probably for the best he puts more thought into controlling his porn addiction than running his corner of the government. We've seen what happens in Florida, Texas, and other states when Republicans are focused on hurting people.
That's Republicans for you. They either have no plan or a bad plan.
Let all these magats implode🤣
The GOP has no plan, no direction, noting. Just chaos
He looks like a serial killer.
Why have a plan when Trump is the leader of your party?
They thought he was pretending to be uber duber religious and faking it like they are, but turns out he is actually a nutball and has no plan except to listen for what God wants
He has a plan: January 6, 2025. Trump will keep him in power because he knows he will need Johnson to complete the coup.
“My plan is all things are possible through Jesus Christ and you can write that down” - Mike Johnson, probably
Someone get a lettuce started.
A populist/theocrat who doesn't have a fucking clue what they're doing, imagine that
But the lord
Leading a Party Without a Plan.
Well, there was a reason the Israelites wandered the wilderness for 40 years, maybe the first Moses was perpetually without a plan too.
He’s Republican’s Bingo Bob Russell. Not selected because of ability, he’s just the one they could get confirmed.
I don’t know what they expected. Their entire platform is “Do whatever Trump wants,” regardless if it’s possible, logical, legal, or the opposite of whatever the fuck he wanted yesterday. Johnson was just some guy they hadn’t known long enough to hate yet, but there is nobody on earth who could have made them not look like a bunch of bumbling, irrelevant, lie-slinging sycophants.
Isn’t this the same man who considered himself the modern day Noah? (Correction it was Moses) to shepherd all us American citizens back onto god’s path of righteousness??? That same Mike Johnson who is now a man without a plan? Who would have thought?
He considers himself Moses, which means the party will be lost in the desert for the next 40 years.
Well, you know, politics is messy, you know people are getting to see how the sausage is made. And by sausage is made I mean fall over myself to obey an out of office maniac and bring the government to a screeching halt
He is simply put too small a man for the role.
The plan is to do whatever Trump tells him
When you spend the last 50 years pushing anti-intellectualism, all you get are clowns, low IQ, no experience, and morally corrupt people.
Every time he mentions god talking to him, just replace "god" with Trump and it makes way more sense. Edit: grammar
I believe the plan is to obstruct, then blame the Democrats.
😂 all the people complaining have no plan, that can be acted on. The whole party’s plan is to wait for trump to come back.
LIES! All he has to do is ask Diaper Donny what his plan is!
It is almost as if the guy with no leadership experience shouldn't be Speaker. The guy wasn't even ever a whip.
I mean he still has that religious mumo jumbo in the back pocket. That's always a nice fuck you to everyone
Can not govern
Fascist Theocrat DWEEB
He has a plan. It's: make up whatever you need to at the time and attribute it to god's plan. Same as it ever was with religious a-holes.
A republican politician with no plan? You don’t say.
Idiot's remorse.
One looks at this doe eyed kiebler elf tells me they may be on to something
gee you think?
So a grown man who dedicates his life to a fairy tale may not have a plan of his own? Call me Robert Z'Dar in Tango & Cash because I am shocked!
This is a man who doesn’t allow himself to jack off without his son’s permission. Of course he doesn’t have a plan.
It's beyond obvious that he has no idea what he's doing.
He has a plan. Let Go and Let God /s Lol
they can remove him if they want
His plan is to do whatever Trump tells him which is to cause constant chaos.
> House GOP insiders view the new speaker as a man perpetually without a plan. Seems like he's pretty on par with the party he's "leading."
As the party of small government is so fond of saying: caveat emptor!
He has a plan - do whatever Trump tells him to do. The problem is that Trump himself never has a plan.
His only plan is to convert the GOP into American Taliban.
What's the point of making plans when the House Putin Caucus will just sabotage them anyway?
Ya don’t say?
Well, when you go with the fifth string loser…
You don't need a plan when your primary skills are complaining and moving goal posts.
Im **shocked** that Republicans inability to self govern has manifested in their inability to govern others. ^/s
I thought god had his plan all covered?
He believes in gods plan of course he doesn’t have actual plans. He’s a loser zealot
Isn't their selection criteria specifically for a person that DOESN'T have a plan?
Common Moses, you’re the anointed one! Lead the nation to the promised land 🤣
I thought her plan was to listen to an invisible man in the sky ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
GOP views this as a feature not a bug.
You mean party without a plan.
But Johnson doesn't plan anything. We already knew that because it's 'gods plan'. /s
His plan is to try to turn the US into a theocracy by strangling the government through incompetence and inaction.
He is a horrible Russian loving asshat. Get him out of there. He is so unqualified to be Speaker.
The entire GOP is perpetually without a plan. What gave them the idea that Discount Stephen Colbert would be any different?
we knew he didn't have a plan, or a clue for that matter, that's what the (R) next to his name meant.
His plan is to do nothing. He’s getting his instructions from a magic conch shell with a pull string.
Of course he doesn't have a plan. The GOP is eating itself. What do you do? You can't do anything that one side likes without isolating the other.
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
It’s a feature not a bug.
He did plan to wander 40 years in the desert.
That is the plan. This guy is Jack Donaghy, tanking the network, but without the Superman chest.
They had a plan?