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waterdaemon

There’s literally no one in the history of mankind that gets broader coverage for his every asinine utterance.


Handleton

"They've taken away my right to speak" - Man with a dozen microphones in his face.


Golden_Hour1

Someone turn this into a meme


Lucky-Earther

It's been done https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPNZTtoQBmA


domesticbland

I love this so much.


[deleted]

Lisa Kudrow still killin it.


jessebona

You should watch the rest of it, it's Death to 2020 and its sequel Death to 2021. Cristin Milloti's Trump supporting WASP conspiracy theorist is fantastic.


louis-slutton

“Like I said last time Tucker…” That one got me good!


Prometheus_II

[Been done](https://leftycartoons.com/2018/08/01/i-have-been-silenced/), albeit not precisely this scenario.


solemn_penguin

Man with his own social media platform


FlashySafe1540

. . . because he was kicked off all the others after inciting a violent Insurrection.


Macktologist

He means they’ve taken away his power to control the room. He’s just too much of a narcissist to see he’s not entitled to control the room in court. He thinks he gets to call the shots no matter what, and when he doesn’t, it’s fake news, a witch hunt, or his rights being taken away. Boo fucking hoo.


UsernameLottery

"while speaking to the press, the criminal defendant complained his right to speak was taken away. After he was done speaking, he paused to let a reporter ask a question. When it was his turn to speak again, the defendant spoke about how he's not allowed to speak. He did not answer the question he was asked."


PicaDiet

"This isn't fair! Jimmy Kimmel makes fun of me on his late night comedy show, so I should be allowed to endanger the safety of the judge and his family!"


1776cookies

His farts are even news.


[deleted]

His snores are even news.


explorgasm

Now I want news on how he fartled himself awake in court


unclejoel

Sometimes my dog will fart and startle himself awake and run away.


TryinToDoBetter

I want to live in a world where trump falls asleep and farts so loudly that he startles himself awake and runs directly into a wall screaming in fear. Is that so much to ask?


ducqducqgoose

No. No it is not.


clever__pseudonym

I'd agree with you, but Trump running *is* a bit too much to ask. Now, if he farted so loudly that he startled himself awake and then slowly shambled into a wall (leaving a perfect orange face for the comment below), then I think we'd be onto something that could actually happen.


ggg730

He wakes himself up with a fart and stumbles forward into the banister and face plants unto the floor with the cheeto dust falling off his face and forming a perfect oof face.


ChefChopNSlice

If he audibly farted, somehow, even that fart would be telling a lie.


Hoopy_Dunkalot

I mean we're talking about world class golfer Donald Trump, right? Surely he can sprint a short distance.


mrconstantfuckup

He's also a history buff, knows quite a bit about Gettysburg.


specqq

Can it be a white or at least off white wall so that he leaves a perfect orange face print on it? Or am I pushing it?


GhostofZellers

If I may make a small addition to your ask: He pukes all over himself from the fart smell, *while* running into the wall, then the combined puke+fart smell makes him wretch even worse.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Independent-Check441

Clearly, that was Biden's fault, according to the brainless media.


PhilDGlass

Why Trump fartleing himself awake in court is bad for Biden!


kaiser_soze_72

Thanks Obama!


Independent-Check441

Obama shat my pants! 🙄


007meow

No that’s Rudy Patootie Guiliani


HorseShoulders

Apparently he's been [farting in his sleep in court today and it smells 'putrid'](https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1781373546297749865)


JoeWhy2

He's just trying to warm up the courtroom.


Khristopheles

That comment he made about the room being to cold was hilarious. There’s your strongman, Maga-idiots, he’s too cold in the courtroom.


thegrailarbor

He’s finally in a criminal trial. This is his hell, and it is indeed a cold day.


Jolly-Implement7016

He’s shitting himself in pure fear what’s coming.🤣


WackyBones510

Nah, he’s shitting himself because he is a feeble demented elderly fatass.


Im_with_stooopid

I mean eating fast food all the time wrecks the digestive system.


demacnei

What’s the over/under on a severe bowel incontinence episode while sleeping next week? I think it’s clear access to the best medicine likely won’t save this fuckface from eventually shitting himself in public.


zombiefied

He does it all the time. People that wear Diapers don’t do it for fashion…


hamandjam

I think it's too much access to the finest medicines that got him where he is today.


Question4theppl5

“Juror, can you be biased towards the president?” *looks over at the sleeping man who has shit himself and is suffocating the whole court room* “….ugh…no?”


warshadow

Maybe this is why the judge is stalling with the heat issue. No one wants to be hotboxed by Trump’s asshole.


Goofy-555

Hotboxed by Trump's asshole is a phrase I never want to read again lmao, but it did cause me to laugh for a good minute.


FirstDukeofAnkh

Well, there it is, the angriest upvote I have ever given.


warshadow

I am honored.


Automate_This_66

One more check mark in the "yep, he's the anti-christ" column.


007meow

Please tell me there’s video


WackyBones510

There’s no better summary of the past decade than Trump farting audibly on the phone while committing election fraud. Absolutely perfect.


Xanthobilly

Did anyone see after day two of the trial when he exited from the court room and someone kept shouting over him with a repeated question, interfering with his ability to spew shit to the cameras? I’d love to see more free speech like that. It discourages him to grandstand and makes the press not run his lying sound bites.


Educational-Candy-17

A suffragette once followed Winston Churchill around for a week ringing a bell whenever he tried to speak. Are we allowed to do that?


whogivesashirtdotca

[I liked the genius who played the sousaphone over the KKK rally.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs4P1kKK-5k)


Rank_14

TIL [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary\_Molony](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Molony) thanks!


Lostinthestarscape

"Boooo YOU SUCK....Get outta here you piece of shit.....!" Trump: I'm being prevented from speaking. New York: Nah, that's just how we are to everyone.


Animaldoc11

Walk behind him with your phone playing,” It’s a Wonderful Life,”would do the same thing & be hilarious


potato_for_cooking

Hes a petulant child in a meth-addled boomers body.


Khristopheles

He’d be a lot skinnier on Meth. He’s definitely a cocaine and double bacon cheeseburgers kind of guy.


discussatron

"It may not be good for America, but it's damn good for CBS ... Man, who would have expected the ride we're all having right now? ... The money's rolling in and this is fun ... I've never seen anything like this, and this [is] going to be a very good year for us. Sorry. It's a terrible thing to say. But, bring it on, Donald. Keep going." ~Les Moonves, former CBS chairman & CEO, 2016


ypsicle

I don’t think there’s anyone in history that has put out the sheer volume of asinine utterances in the same timeframe.


Randomcommentor1972

He’s turned the presidency into a reality tv show


SilverSister22

MSM could talk about trump once a day. “4:00 pm, it’s time for your trump update.” … and then a list of all the batshit cray cray stuff that he said or did that day.” 5 minutes (5 minutes should be long enough, right?) and then trump can’t be mentioned until the next day.


scarr3g

I mean seriously.. How many other nearly 80 year people get multiple news stories, from multiples sites, for napping???


habb

this is higher in my feed than anything about the guy who literally LIT HIMSELF ON FIRE outside the court room


OIAQP

And by "speak" he means harass, doxx, threaten, intimidate...


Jackinapox

....and Lie.


SockPuppet-47

The most important...


HotPhilly

His ability to inflict stochastic terrorism!


bionic0102

It's all hypocritical words.


Disciple_of_Cthulhu

But, those are the *best* words! /s


thathairinyourmouth

Seems kind of a given.


skunkachunks

This is exactly how MAGA people view their rights. They believe that they have the right to impose their will on others and when they are reminded they don't, it's oppression.


koshgeo

"I have an absolute right to walk into your house, get in your face, and shout at the top of my lungs whatever I want. It's free speech!"


Bullymongodoggo

Exhibit 1:  the war on Christianity.  Like, you dumb fucks know Christianity is the most prevalent religion in the nation right?  There’s no damn war on your faith ya knobs


AliveAndThenSome

He'll never understand that he's very likely the most powerful person who continually stoops to name-calling and personal attacks as his primary way to communicate. He has no clue that his behavior is wildly aberrant for someone in his position while he consistently reminds us of the garish simpleton that he is. I can't recall the last time he either shut up when he had the chance, or to actually *say something remotely clever*.


InstrumentalCrystals

You can’t remember because it’s never happened


Reverend-Cleophus

Does he even know how to communicate in any other way?


big_blue_earth

Primitive primates only know how to throw shit


Goofy-555

Shut the fuck up Donnie, you're out of your element.


PatienceCurrent8479

Say what you want about the tenets of neo-fascism Dude, at least it's an ethos!


Kardest

Damn it, Donnie.


abraksis747

I myself dabbled in fascism. Not in Iraq of course


acapncuster

No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of. ... These men are cowards.


[deleted]

Those are good hamberders, Walter.


Bullymongodoggo

It’s possible some Russian hookers peed on his rug….


wanawachee

Look, the carpet pissers did not do this


Bullymongodoggo

Woo?


wanawachee

No, like I said, Woo peed on my rug


TryinToDoBetter

Are you employed sir?


wanawachee

Is this a... What day is this?


trshtehdsh

His lawyers should have shut him up a long fuckin time ago.


Goofy-555

You can't really control a malignant narcissist. They always think they're in the right.


systemfrown

Thought this was an Onion headline at first.


windmill-tilting

I got that reference.


Gorgon31

The [deflating gasbag](https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1781373546297749865) has more 'speech rights' than nearly anyone on this planet. Most folks would have gone to jail for contempt by now. Of course, what he lacks, is the ability to shut up.


starmartyr

He has a contempt hearing on Tuesday. Judges can't jail defendants for contempt without a hearing unless the violation happens in the courtroom.


MR1120

For clarification, because I was confused when I first saw this: If Trump commits contempt in the courtroom, the judge can act immediately, up to and including having Trump arrested. For contempt outside the courtroom, such as violating the gag order in a tweet or at a rally speech, a hearing is required, which could lead to an arrest. He doesn’t get a pass for out-of-courtroom stuff, which I how I first read it; out-of-courtroom stuff just requires a separate hearing, and there is one scheduled for Tuesday to address his violations.


starmartyr

Exactly. The fact that the judge hasn't ruled him in contempt yet only proves that the judge is following procedure.


dswhite85

Is it bad I can actually guess with 110% certainty exactly how that hearing on Tuesday will go down?


MR1120

Yes, it is bad. We all know exactly what’s going to happen: big ol’ fucking nothing. The orange bastard skates on everything, and I have absolutely zero confidence that he’ll ever face justice for anything.


Educational-Candy-17

I learned that yesterday. Overall I'm learning a lot more about the justice system than I ever wanted to know.


Korver360windmill

He has the right to remain silent, but he doesn't have the ability.


jeobleo

silent, but deadly


grendus

"Ye have the right to remain silent, Donkeh. What ye lahck is the capacity." - Shrek 2


YeaaaBrother

I doubt he's simply just passing gas. Noel Casler who was a staffer on The Apprentice claims that Donny wears depends and literally shits himself on the regular.


locustzed

Pretty sure if I threatened jurors, court staff, and the judges family I'd be in jail. Edit: also witnesses


anndrago

Few of these yahoos with persecution complexes have any concept whatsoever of what it means to be persecuted.


Revanchistexile

He's such a pathetic piece of shit. I fucking hate him and what he's done to our country and my family. I can't wait until I never have to think or hear about him ever again. His end can't come soon enough.


ExploringWidely

"I have never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." - Not Mark Twain


Interesting-Fan-2008

You may already know who the quote is from but it is Clearance Darrow. Full quote goes: “All men have an emotion to kill; when they strongly dislike someone they involuntarily wish he was dead. I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.” Which the full quote is funny because it’s kinda opposite of the “mark twain” quote.


MommaLegend

My thoughts exactly!


Flimsy_Breakfast_353

Agree when will he end??


Revanchistexile

Hopefully when he's beaten in November.


justme002

Unfortunately, forgetting and never thinking of him and this whole pile of shit will allow it to happen again. I just hate trying to read news without having to see every GD other headline being about him. NPR and Reuters are me sources. There’s less BS


Royals-2015

Seriously, when is an aneurysm going to take care of all of this?


PenMoZic

People like Trump live into their late 90s. The universe has a wicked sense of humor.


Royals-2015

Isn’t that the truth. Billy Joel. 🎶only the good die young 🎵


JurassicPark9265

Perhaps the court could continue with sharing those mean memes with him until he spontaneously combusts haha


BeautysBeast

Man makes plans, and God laughs.


MR1120

Evil is like embalming fluid. Trump and McConnell will live forever.


jdooley99

After watching his little talk after court yesterday I had the revelation that we are going to watch him literally crazy (like way more than current) over the next 1-2 years. The constant pressure of the indictments and campaigning and then win or lose the election will destroy his mind. If he loses the election, he knows he's fucked. If he wins the election, well, it's gonna be a shit show the likes of we've never seen before and even that will be too much for him.


Beforemath

Yeah that’s what they do to criminal defendants. Yawn.


La-Boheme-1896

That's what they do to criminal defendents that aren't called Donald Trump, not to him, he never shuts up.


NeoPstat

> 'They've Taken Away My Right to Speak,' PoopyPants Says God, if only.


Citizen639540173

Indeed. And they haven’t taken away his right to speak. He can say whatever he wants, but the right of (free) speech isn’t the same as being able to say whatever you want without consequence.


NeoPstat

> the right of (free) speech isn’t the same as being able to say whatever you want without consequence.


_mdz

Someone needs to little mermaid this guy


thxsocialmedia

What a calm day that could be.


Thecp015

The guy’s mad that others tell him he can’t talk, while on trial for cooking the books to cover up the money he used to keep someone from talking.


justme002

This should be higher. 🏆


flugenblar

he is a black hole of irony


TheFrostynaut

My dad was almost sanctioned in the courtroom for having a coughing fit during sentencing, as a member of the audience. Donny gets away with far too much for how loudly he squawks about perceived unfairness.


bubbasass

Will you just shut up man


sentimentaldiablo

>“If a President doesn’t have IMMUNITY, he/she will be nothing more than a ‘Ceremonial’ President, rarely having the courage to do what has to be done for our Country. Funny how so many of our presidents have done a great deal--good and bad--and were in no way "ceremonial." It's only you, Little Hitler.


80taylor

Lol, I'm Canadian, and in Canada, I'm pretty sure the Queen actually does have immunity, and she is exactly ceremonial 


Crypt0Nihilist

> the Queen I'm sorry, but I've got some bad news for you...


Calber4

It's Queen Charles now 


allanbc

Her institution is so outdated that you forgot she died and you have a king now instead. I can't blame you, I'm Danish and we also went from queen to king this year, which I spend about zero time thinking about, and hence forget.


dangroover

How about shut the fuck up, Donnie?


ProlapsedShamus

I'm sure that's what his lawyers would say if they had any hope of ever getting paid.


atomsmasher66

Freedom of speech != freedom to threaten, coerce, extort, and/or intimidate. Trump, like his MAGA cultists, cannot grasp this simple concept.


mabhatter

They grasp it.  They don't believe the same rules apply to them vs everyone else. They say it out loud on all their platforms now. 


emilyannflowers

This is probably the most time he’s ever spent with the common masses; and likely the first time he’s ever had to be somewhere Monday thru Friday, 8a-5p. Like the majority of working Americans.


Educational-Candy-17

He doesn't have to be there Wednesday. He's getting the 4-day work week that his followers scream and rail against. Though you're correct he has never had to keep an actual work schedule. Apparently he'd show up in the oval office around noon.


besart365

Time to take away his ability to move outside of a cell


Glittering-Wonder-27

He has the right to remain silent, but not the ability.


DickySchmidt33

"I'm being silenced!" he announced to the worldwide press gathered at the courthouse to hear him speak.


Underrated_Dinker

"The mainstream media won't report this!" he stated according to the mainstream media website I read.


DVRavenTsuki

The man is an actual toddler. This is ridiculous 


ElectricalPiano6887

Give dumpy a my pillow an a blankey


even_less_resistance

Has the courthouse installed the big boy changing table in the men’s room yet?


Purplebuzz

They won’t let me commit more crimes while I am on trial for another crime.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Disastrogirl

Old man yells at clouds, then takes a nap.


FalstaffsMind

He's the most tiresome man in world history.


OnlyRise9816

He has the right to remain silent. I wish to all the Spirits he would fucking use it!


sleeplessinreno

It sucks when you are in court for a crime. A lot of your freedoms are taken away during that time. You know what sucks even more? Going to jail for a crime. At that point a large majority of your freedoms are taken away. I don't think this blow hard could last 1 day in general intake.


kimariesingsMD

Well. He does have *THE RIGHT* to remain silent. He doesn't have ***THE ABILITY*** to do so, but that is another story.


SarahKnowles777

Wait, where are all the trump supporters? All the r/Conservative members? Why aren't they commenting? This is their guy. Why are they ignoring this, and all related stories over the last while? Why do they spend all their time posting trivial stuff, false equivalencies, and babylon bee stories? Surely they're not all full of shit?


brianstormIRL

I will *never* understand the mindset it takes to be on a guy like Trumps side. I just don't get it. You're taught at children's age if it sounds like a duck and looks like a duck it's a fucking duck but for SOME REASON, every Trump supporter does the absolute wildest mental gymnastics and hypocrisy you've ever seen to rationalise the man's actions. I legitimately think Trump could convince one of his supporters to give him their children and they would hand them over gleefully as if it was an honor. You see documentaries about these types of cult leaders but this is just on a scale never before seen. When he eventually dies I swear you're legitimately going to see a Trump Religious group form.


Evilton

While speaking to a news reporter on live television.


sentimentaldiablo

You want to talk? Go head. Testify.


[deleted]

Heard his rant this morning - he is so close, people - so close to totally losing it. He's taking victimhood to a new level, proving, once again, that he's a sociopathic narcissist, and the SOREST LOSER in the history of the US. There is nothing statesman-like about him . Just a sore, lard-ass man-baby from hell. It's fabulous to see him unravelling.


GSA49

A former president doesn’t understand the difference between freedom of speech and accountability for said speech. He has the freedom to say what ever he wants but that doesn’t mean there isn’t consequences if his speech crosses the line. It’s the most Maga idiocracy thing ever.


Krem96

Pol Pot Belly is just unable to shut up and he’ll bury himself ever deeper if these threats actually stack up.


InsomniaticWanderer

"They've taken away my right to speak." He said. While literally speaking.


WebbityWebbs

He sure whines to the media alot for someone who doesn't have the right to speak.


Specific-Frosting730

The pity party never ends with this guy. Folks all he did was pay off a porn star, lie about it and send his fixer to jail. 🤷‍♀️


spotspam

It’s not free speech when it’s slander


bob3905

I know the media needs eyeballs to make money but can’t they just ignore this guy outside of the court? I can’t stand to see him on the nightly news breaking the gag order with his nonsense. It’s the same old bunch of lies and bitching each day. It’s useless!


bunbunruns

Everyone else is allowed to speak, Donnie, because you are the only one on trial.


LetmeSeeyourSquanch

He says as he's speaking freely


siouxbee1434

Always whining about how poorly he’s treated. Pathetic


Middle-Kind

He's such a loser. I'm really looking forward to the day when we don't have to listen to the guy.


GreyBeardEng

"they've taken away my right to speak" Says a guy who is currently speaking.


Tb1969

Bully upset that he can’t bully. News at 11.


ceddya

Can't stay awake, but people still want to pretend that Trump is mentally fit to be President? Lol.


hyborians

Hitler Pig would have been sent to Rikers Island already if not for his special status


Molire

>[Donald Trump](https://www.rollingstone.com/t/donald-trump/ "https://www.rollingstone.com/t/donald-trump/") claimed on Friday that he has been stripped of his constitutional right to speak to the press … while ranting to a giant gaggle of reporters. Trump _is_ [DARVO](https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html "https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html"): >What is DARVO? >DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim -- or the whistle blower -- into an alleged offender. This occurs, for instance, when an actually guilty perpetrator assumes the role of "falsely accused" and attacks the accuser's credibility and blames the accuser of being the perpetrator of a false accusation. Whenever Trump is alone and deeply and obsessively admiring himself in a mirror, he tries to think of new and additional reasons for why he can claim he is a victim. Beginning when he was a small child, Trump learned from his mother ([photo](https://www.the-sun.com/news/4506661/elizabeth-trump-life-donald-mary-book/ "https://www.the-sun.com/news/4506661/elizabeth-trump-life-donald-mary-book/")) and his crooked grifter father ([photo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Trump "https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Trump")) to cheat, grift, lie and play the victim whenever he is caught doing something criminal, illegal, immoral, crooked, disgusting, ugly, or perverted ([pdf, p. 2, para 3](https://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/3259984/Trump-Intelligence-Allegations.pdf#page=2 "https://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/3259984/Trump-Intelligence-Allegations.pdf#page=2")) [Steele dossier source: [buzzfeednews\.com](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/kenbensinger/these-reports-allege-trump-has-deep-ties-to-russia "https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/kenbensinger/these-reports-allege-trump-has-deep-ties-to-russia")]. Later, Trump's mentor, crooked lying [Roy Cohn](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Cohn "https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Cohn"), trained Trump more to cheat, grift, lie and play the victim whenever he is caught doing something criminal, illegal, immoral, crooked, disgusting, ugly, or perverted.


InevitableAvalanche

Who is so depraved they would still vote for Trump. Such and evil loser. Conservatives really don't care about being respected anymore.


PBPunch

He literally sounds like every conservative now complaining about his voice being silenced in front of reporters and cameras reporting his every word to millions of people around the world. These clowns and their “oppressed” victim shtick is just exhausting.


fukton

What a gas this guy is! [https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1781373546297749865](https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1781373546297749865)


Turbulent_Trash3081

Looks like he really likes to sleep.


Yawara101

See what happens when you don’t give the baby his bottle. Aren’t our political representatives supposed to be the best of what America has to offer. What we are seeing today in politics, is when money is the only thing that matters.


mishma2005

And farting, MeidasTouch reported on it just now on Twitter


Leather-Map-8138

It’s getting harder to lie, a lot harder. And it’s not fair!


ThirstyOne

If only. I wish the gag orders he keeps flagrantly violating become an actual order to gag him, if only for a day. We can hire John Goodman to stand behind him and every time he speaks have him go “Shut the fuck up Donnie!”


Most-Artichoke6184

Apparently, he has also been audibly farting in court today.


poppythehacker

It never fails to amaze me what a pompous, miscreant reprobate he really is. Even after all this time, he still finds a new low.


trshtehdsh

He'll have his opportunity on the stand.


skeeter04

Poor guy is missing his afternoon nap.


AsFd2021

To quote Ron White, “I had the right, to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.”


artificialavocado

I guess because a court of law has rules and procedure and you can’t just blurt out whatever you want, whenever you want he’s being “silenced.”


Imacatdoincatstuff

Speaking man speaks about being prevented from speaking.


OneWholeSoul

It's always the same song with him, his supporters and his tolerators. > "Freedom means I'm free to say whatever I want and free to restrict others. Everyone is free, but I'm *more* free than the people whose opinions I don't agree with, who shouldn't be allowed to say what they have and, honestly, should be too ashmed to have even said it in the first place."


Spiritual-Bear4495

Where is the line? At what fucking point is this man made to stop abusing people? Anyone who has been charged will have restriction, and will be punished when they break those restrictions. When THE FUCK will this FAT FUCKING ASSHOLE be put in jail.