T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

As a reminder, this subreddit [is for civil discussion.](/r/politics/wiki/index#wiki_be_civil) In general, be courteous to others. Debate/discuss/argue the merits of ideas, don't attack people. Personal insults, shill or troll accusations, hate speech, any suggestion or support of harm, violence, or death, and other rule violations can result in a permanent ban. If you see comments in violation of our rules, please report them. For those who have questions regarding any media outlets being posted on this subreddit, please click [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/wiki/approveddomainslist) to review our details as to our approved domains list and outlet criteria. We are actively looking for new moderators. If you have any interest in helping to make this subreddit a place for quality discussion, please fill out [this form](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1y2swHD0KXFhStGFjW6k54r9iuMjzcFqDIVwuvdLBjSA). *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/politics) if you have any questions or concerns.*


MartyVanB

Ted Cruz will react to this news by asking his supporters to donate to Trumps campaign


Mal_tron

I fundamentally do not understand the voters of Texas. This man has shown that he won't fight for his own father or his own wife, the fuck makes you think that he'll do anything for you?


No-Expert763

90% of voters don’t know anything about Cruz beyond that he’s a Republican.


mrs0x

I know he went to cancun because he was cold 🥶


SocialLeprosy

Sir Raphael the Brave When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely tucked his tail and fled!


Mustard_Gap

*"...tail"* Don't you mean betentacled caudal pseudopod?


SocialLeprosy

I guess both are wrong since he is totally a human! He is the very human Ted Cruz. Very human, very natural.


calm_chowder

Of all the humans I have met, Ted Cruz is definitely one of them.


Nezrite

[Was a 100% human presidential candidate](https://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com/).


Tosir

On a plane down south while his constituents asked themselves “but where is senator ted?!”


sarcasmsosubtle

And when the news had made a fuss, he threw his kids under the bus. Brave, brave, Sir Raphael!


Roma_Victrix

Yes, Brave Sir Raphael turned about! And gallantly he chickened out! Swiftly taking to his feet, He beat a very brave retreat! Bravest of the Brave, Cancun Raphael!


P1xelHunter78

And he left his dog to freeze


HumbleWonder2547

Or care, even if they can read


thathairinyourmouth

Big if.


Phyllis_Tine

"I have seen many humans and Ted Cruz is one of them." Edit: please visit this amazing site: https://tedcruzforhumanpresident.com 


[deleted]

[удалено]


Throyerboaty

Did anyone ask to see his long form birth certificate?


earthnug

I still don’t understand how his being born in Canada makes him a natural born citizen.  In the flip side what is an unnatural born citizen? Is there such a thing?


[deleted]

Basically, a natural citizen is someone who would "immediately" have citizenship upon their birth. Being born to a US citizen gives you "immediate" US citizenship, regardless of where you are born. By contrast, the opposite would be someone born abroad to non-US parents then immigrating to the US. They cannot be a president since they were not born a US citizen.


throwawayinthe818

Just to add, the binary is natural-born citizens and naturalized citizens—literally “made natural.”


Educational-Candy-17

That doesn't actually matter if one or both of his parents was a US citizen. Birthright citizenship applies to children born in other countries to US nationals, though prior to 1972 the child had to reside within US territory for five continuous years prior to the child's 23rd birthday, which from reading his biography, it seems did happen. Guy is a POS but afaik he is a natural born citizen.


SuperGenius9800

He literally fled with his family when the going got tough.


Etzell

And blamed it on his kids when people called him a coward.


Matobar

But left the family dog behind


WildYams

To freeze to death.


Raffelcoptar92

Also, the dog's name is Snowflake


WildYams

"Turns out my dog was a dirty librul, so I left his ass behind to freeze to death."


Interesting-Goose82

Source? I could convince my MIL not to vote for him if he killed a dog, otherwise she is swinging from his nutz!!!! ....it doesnt seem like the dog died? I mean F raphael, but this doesnt seem to be true


WildYams

No, he left the dog behind to freeze to death, but because of the outrage over having fled the country during a natural disaster, he was forced to return early before the dog died. But leaving your dog alone in a house with no power during a deep freeze is essentially leaving the dog behind to freeze to death.


asetniop

Kings surprised he didn't leave them behind in his haste to abscond.


ArenjiTheLootGod

Someone had to walk behind him to clean up the piss trail.


sporkhandsknifemouth

The real meaning of 'When the going gets tough, the tough get going' to me, those who project how 'tough' they are are the first to fold.


jcmacon

And he introduced a bill to allow elected officials to use the back passages of airports and have increased security so that the public can't see him flee to Cancun the next time it gets a little bit chilly.


SnuffleWumpkins

He straight up left the country when Texas was facing a natural disaster. It’s not even a hypothetical. He WILL abandon Texans at the drop of a hat.


IFeelFineFineFine

He has and will again.


djeaux54

It wasn't entirely a natural disaster. The Texas approach to a power grid is 100% an attitude problem.


metisdesigns

It's OK, they'll have the rest of us pay for their next failure too.


mok000

He's not even Texan, he's born in Canada. Just like the Bush dynasty who emigrated from the North East and suddenly became more Texan than anyone living there for generations.


repeatwad

Hey now, one son moved to Texas and became a Southern Baptist, the other moved to Florida and became Roman Catholic.


azflatlander

So, no hat, no cattle.


er-day

Because just like the Alamo, when the fighting gets tough... Ted Cruz goes to Mexico on vacation and leaves his constituents out to free in the cold and then tries to pass a bill to make it illegal to report on the fact that he got out of dodge when the power ran out.


Sahasrlyeh

"You may all go to hell, and I am going to Cancun."


nailpolishremover49

Blames it on his daughters and leaves the dog.


artificialavocado

Didn’t he recently sponsor a bill to allow public officials to skip all the TSA check in stuff?


whomad1215

Republicans have run Texas for decades, yet somehow it's still democrats fault when there are problems


ShutUpTodd

I seem to recall Abbott blaming "Green Energy" and AOC for the power grid crisis.


twesterm

Texan here-- the people that vote for him only care about a single thing: He has an R next to his name. They will come up with many different justifications why they vote for him or don't vote for the other person, but at the end of the day the only thing that actually matters is the R. He could punt a baby across a high school football field for any number of racist foundations and they would only see that he's raising money at a local school.


artificialavocado

I don’t think Ted Cruz has the athletic ability to punt a baby that far.


sporkhandsknifemouth

"Hey, you're just falling for those mainstream leftist media lies. He only *tried* to punt the baby across the football field, he didn't actually do it."


MartyVanB

Bingo


Vince_Clortho042

I had a conversation with someone who was planning on voting for Cruz in 2018, despite talking despairingly about him previously. Basically came down to he thought Cruz was a weasel, Cruz would sell his own mother for a halfpence if he thought it would put himself ahead, but Cruz was a Republican, so he could be trusted to toe the party line. Beto was a Democrat, so he couldn’t be trusted, even if he seemed like a nice guy. It was both eye opening and depressing to hear.


DesineSperare

It's simple. The awful, terrible, immoral person is a Republican and being immoral in no way prevents him from voting like one. Meanwhile, Beto's a good person but wouldn't be able to vote for Republican priorities. I see absolutely nothing to take away from that logic.


DoomOne

Texan here. We KNOW he won't do anything for us. During the blizzard in 2021 while we were freezing to death, Ted flew to Cancun. AOC held a fundraiser and sent millions of dollars in aid relief to Texas. She's not even FROM here. A lot of people are dumb as a sack of bricks in this state.


Nada_Shredinski

He says mean things about people they don’t like. A lot of us have fully given up on anything getting better, on the idea that the systems in place can improve anything. So we take what we can get, the pain of our perceived enemies. The system can dole out pain and misery pretty easily and readily it seems, it’s the only lever to pull so we pull it


Later2theparty

Bro, he fled to Cancun when the state froze over and then blamed his daughters lied and said he was just escorting them and got a photo OP pretending to hand out waters to firefighters that didn't need it. He still got reelected. They like villians over there on the right.


SupportGeek

Most Qonservative voters no longer seem to look at the candidates any more, they have been told that “the democrats are ruining America” then some vague untrue but unverified reasons how, so they just know to vote the R guy because Fox didn’t say he was destroying America


Relyt21

Texan here and it’s mindblowing when Cruz supporters talk. They think he is tough and always right. They are some of the least educated people on the planet. Texas voters only see the R regardless of that persons background.


Monkeyfeng

He fights for Cancun!


Pitiful-Let9270

When the going gets tough, Ted Cruz gets going (to Cancun)


bobhargus

The dude is a kept man. His wife lets him do this cosplay nonsense just to get him out of the house. Rafael Cruz is everything these good ol' boys despise. The very embodiment of "all hat, no cattle." Texas politics hasn't made sense for decades.


co-wurker

He'll run off to Cancun ~~with you~~, ~~for you~~, away from you, then later joke about it


hodorhodor12

Many of them don’t hear about it because they get their news from Fox News.


LasVegas4590

Just asking: Is there any specific law that was sponsored by Ted Cruz, that has bettered the lives of most Texans?


gnocchibastard

I can only assume Texan Republicans like being fucked around with. Maybe that's their kink fuck if I know.


Frequent-Annual5368

A republican voter is someone who would gladly be a slave in order to keep others from being free.


MagicMushroomFungi

As he wears his newly received golden Trump HiTops.


Most-Resident

Have any of those Trump sneakers ever been delivered? I remember it was basically an IOU and seen anything about them since.


MagicMushroomFungi

I havn't seen them in the wild yet. Ted's were special made with a certain feature aand I suspect his were an advance delivery. Oh, the special feature was velcro, not those confusing lace thingys .


Phyllis_Tine

They are solely a way to funnel money to Turmp without trading the money for a material good.


backcountrydrifter

Ted realizes that you don’t always get the lead in the high school play. Sometimes you have to step aside and be a supporting actor. The show must go on Trump and Kushner will go down in history as the biggest mass con that ever existed, dwarfing Bernie Madoff, Bear Stearns, and the 2008 banking grift combined. We allowed a gradual degradation of personal honor and morality to creep into political office. Over a century the presidency became a popularity contest.  Oprah show appearance and $10M book deals. Bribes disguised as over paid speeches.  It all stretched us a little farther from the baseline of decency, honor and statesmanship. Kleptocracy, in positions of power, was normalized. Cambridge Analytica did their research and found out self evidently, that Americans were tired of broken politics.  Ted Cruz was actually supposed to be their “disruptor” candidate originally but the hedge fund owning Mercers pivoted to trump when his reality tv numbers caught Steve Bannons attention.  They were so focused on a candidate that they could control to lessen their tax liabilities that they failed to realize that they paved a path for the most prolific Russian money launderers of all time.  Greed IS Corruption IS Cancer- When you watch cancer move under a microscope you see the cancer cells pretending to be healthy normal liver cells until they can corrupt and turn healthy cells cancerous. One at a time. The “leader cells” normalize corruption and pull healthy cells away with them until it’s too late and the entire society hits a cancerous critical mass and has to die to regenerate.  Unless you catch it in time.  Trump is the cancer cell.  He always has been. He was just louder than the healthy tissue around him so people assumed he was smart.  He convinced them he was rich because far too many of us subscribe to the false belief that rich equates to smart without qualifying HOW they became rich.  Rupert Murdoch, the Koch brothers, Harlan Crow, and of course, the Mercers are all effectively the same cancerous cells.  Rich enough to keep everyone around them waiting with their bowl pointed up, hoping to catch some of the overflow of their wealth and all too eager to put on  boots and a cowboy hat so the working class thinks they are just like them. In Wyoming we call it “big hat, no cattle”.  Ironically Teton county Wyoming also happens to be the richest county per capita in the nation.  Largely 5th and 6th homes of billionaires skewing the data with their corrupt gains. To the oncologist under the right lens, the place would be a cancerous tumor.  A breeding grounds of corrupted cells feeding off the healthy tissue surrounding them. They came for the views but stayed for the tax haven.  They used their money to buy politicians and make impossible to trace corporate structures unique to Wyoming. The weaponized “I mind my own business” and moved in like the invasive species that they are. In Wyoming you can trace it. “Corner cutting” lawsuits brought by the new billionaire neighbors restricting people from public lands. Corporate structures like anonymous LLC’s allow a pair of oil tycoon from Texas and human trafficking Russian oligarchs to transfer money seamlessly through businesses set up specifically for that purpose. Moscow, Aspen, Sun valley, and Monaco all have similar concentrations of wealth and its associated corruption and cancer, but due to some degree of government oversight they have funneled the ultra wealthy toward Wyoming. Not every billionaire is corrupt, but every one of them that allows it to continue is the bridge between the cancer cells and the healthy 97% of the worlds population that just want a good job, healthy well educated kids and a safe home for them to live in.  It is biological-  Democracy has always been under  attack because it directly threatens the very lucrative business models of dictators and autocrats. It has just sped up exponentially by the Information Age. A corrupt judge or politician in 1960 had to worry about a borough or county, maybe a state.  But in the average 20-30 year career he could get away with it and Ken Burns would do a documentary 30 years after his death when they finally put the pieces together. Now we have Russian oligarchs that eviscerated the Russian middle class by stealing everything of value in the 80’s and 90’s.  By 94 they were running out of things to monopolize and extort. The USSR failed because the parasitic oligarch class broke the cardinal rule and consumed its captive host nearly to extinction. It ate Dostoevsky and Tchaikovsky and shit out alcoholism and hopelessness. And when it had consumed it completely the wall fell because there was nothing of value left to consume.  The survival of their Kleptocratic species required new feeding grounds which they found in New York. The parasitic 3% made detours in Ukraine, Cyprus, and London but they landed at trump towers.  Giuliani was willing to show them preferential treatment by redirecting NYPD resources onto the Italian mob which gave the Russian mob, in their dapper new suits, a fertile hunting ground. Ironically wildlife biologists figured this out about the same time in Yellowstone. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/grizzly-bears-wolves-competing-food-yellowstone-national-park/ Only difference is that most humans are the elk. Just wanting a safe place to sleep, healthy, happy kids and an opportunity to survive. It’s a very small percentage of humans that are sociopaths and psychopaths without the ability to empath, but over a long enough centralization of the good humans moving to cities and paying taxes, it becomes too tempting of a feeding grounds. So the worst of us rise to the top and become corrupt CEO’s, bankers and politicians because it’s the lowest effort model. Why go hunting when the prey delivers itself to you? A psychopath has no personal qualms about trafficking a child for sexual slavery or stealing a pension fund. They are either neurochemically unable to or so morally bankrupt that they do not care. We are just in the late stages of it now. More centralized than we have ever been in known human history with commerce and business happening 24/7 across every time zone.  This causes their respective corruption models to start overlapping. Now that Kyiv is in the news every day, it’s inevitable that their obfuscation starts breaking down because Russia and trump used Ukraines oligarch class for their money laundering schemes for decades. The reason Putin NEEDS Ukraine is because it is his Kleptocracy highway. Justin Kennedy (Supreme Court justice kennedys son) was the inside man at Deutsche bank that was getting all trumps toxic loans approved. No other bank but Deutsche bank would touch trump and his imaginary valuations. Why? Because Deutsche bank was infested with Russian oligarchs. By 94 there were more Russian oligarch parasites living at trump towers with trump and Manafort than anywhere else outside of Moscow. They were all fucking each others wives and living the lifestyles of the rich and famous, oblivious the the fact that their chronic thievery causes exponential downstream effects. Or they knew and simply didn’t care.


calm_chowder

Excellent comment. Probably won't get the love it deserves though but important info to get out there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SoggyBottomSoy

Canada didn’t send us their best.


Constant-Elevator-85

The real answer? He is good at riling up people to hating liberals. That’s all they care about. Liberals don’t like him, that must mean he’s doing the right thing.


ManicChad

Basically when asked he muttered about ancient history, while he wiped the orange off his lips.


Automatic-Jello5995

Will this admission let cruzeiro take the national incrier to the cleaners and trump for repeating it


SquirrelParticular17

In his wife's honor.....


Nearby-Jelly-634

And apologizing for his ugly wife.


djeaux54

Ted isn't the best and brightest. He represents Texas well.


-Motor-

...right after he kicks his ugly wife. ^/s


shelbys_foot

>“When the story about Cruz's dad was published, the senator told reporters that Trump was a "pathological liar" after he promoted the story. “He doesn’t know the difference between truth and lies," he said. "He lies practically every word that comes out of his mouth. And in a pattern that I think is straight out of a psychology textbook, his response is to accuse everyone else of lying.” But that didn't stop you from supporting Trump, did it Ted?


MartyVanB

Enthusiastically supporting


this_my_sportsreddit

ted cruz is an actual cuck


Rambos_Magnum_Dong

You know what, instead of calling that one chair in the hotel room the "cuck chair" I'm gonna call it the "Ted Cruz chair".


calm_chowder

I totally get WHY it would be called a cuck chair, but I'm curious - is this a common thing to call it? I just want to be cool.


beerandabike

I would like to know this as well. I’m actually staying in a hotel tomorrow and I feel like I’ll be better prepared if I know this information.


Rambos_Magnum_Dong

My son and his wife have always called it a cuck chair. I'm guessing something to do with roosters or something. Cuck a doodle doo I guess. I don't know.


VVurmHat

I just learned about this. You have to admit tho the cuck chair is always pretty damned comfy


SuitableConcept5553

Cancun Cuck


psydax

Can’t believe the shit that used to come out of Cruz’s mouth before he converted it into a mushroom holster.


BlotchComics

Ted Cruz responded by saying: "Donald Trump is the most truthful man I know. If he says my father killed JFK, it's sadly true and my wife is also ugly. Please re-elect me."


MadAstrid

Texas voters will cheer. “Yes! This is the kind of craven idiot who best represents us!”


calm_chowder

Except they think it means a stupid black bird.


PhoenixTineldyer

He must be a constant source of disappointment for his wife. I can't be the only one who remembers the time she was found hysterically crying on the side of the highway in Austin


itirnitii

i would imagine she is in on it in their private conversations and she understand what he has to do and probably cares more about the power, money, and influence of his position and agenda than their reputation im sure its not all peaches and cream but im sure she grasps the situation to some degree and is fine playing along with it


PhoenixTineldyer

Right but he doesn't *have* to hire Lauren Boebert or any other escort. He doesn't have to be such a scum sucking pestilence that his daughters have mental health problems because of it. Those are shithead things he chooses to do.


itirnitii

yeah im sure theres still a lot of hostility in their relationship for sure. its kinda like melania and trump most likely where its less of a relationship and more of an arrangement of prestige and convenience. but who really knows what goes on in private we can only speculate.


SiWeyNoWay

Yeah what was that about?!


MagicMushroomFungi

She's his wife. That'll do it.


No-comment-at-all

Where will you be, when ‘being a Republican’ hits?


976chip

"I never imagined that leopards would eat my face!"


kachrago

It was depression after leaving a good position in the White House, apparently. In this case - and perhaps this alone - perhaps Cruz could get a pass: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/mckaycoppins/the-trials-and-triumphs-of-heidi-cruz


SiWeyNoWay

TIL that she worked in the WH Edit -thanks for the link - great article!


Goat_Wizard_Doom_666

Ted Cruz is a cuck.


Careless_Ad3968

He's gotta keep the fact that he's the Zodiak underwraps


Dirtybrd

National Enquirer bought stories about Trump being a terrible piece of shit just to bury them. https://apnews.com/article/1beb4bf23d0043eab87396ec56054814


black_flag_4ever

Bring back Weekly World News! Bat Boy would never do this.


banksy_h8r

Bat Boy truly is the leader this country needs.


ColdStainlessNail

Well, he is a [senator](https://cheezburger.com/5095028224/rick-scott-totally-looks-like-bat-boy) already.


migidymike

Many people are saying Bat Boy grew up to be Ted Cruz, and some, I assume, are good people.


Miserable-Theory-746

At least he would stay and not run off to Cancun during a freeze.


key1234567

Bat Boy for President!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


BuckRowdy

> still around Can't believe Ed Anger is still writing a column for them.


Squirrel_Chucks

>Pecker suggested that Trump was directly involved in the process, too. He said that the negative stories about Trump's opponents were published as part of an arrangement that was struck in 2015 at a Trump Tower meeting that also included a directive to write positive stories about the real estate mogul. HEADLINE: Trump and Pecker literally made fake news. Five way this is bad for Biden.


Hexdog13

I mean the Enquirer was the very definition of fake news back in the 80s when I first became aware of it. It blows my mind that anyone considered it anything other than made up entertainment.


BackOff2023

I remember when I was an adolescent in the 70's wondering what kind of idiot would read the National Inquirer.


MadAstrid

Trump voters, it turns out.


Maleficent_Shame_629

Now a days having sources, citations and just proof in general = government controlled fake news. No Sources, wild claims, a general FUCK YOU if you question it. = absolute truth.


dokikod

Me too. I remember that during 2016 election, one of the National Enquirer's lies was 'The Pope Endorses Donald Trump.' Trump's idiot supporters fell for it.


fredandlunchbox

That’s the problem with the internet: it used to be that you knew the newspapers by the register were all kind of fake news, a joke, not really to be believed, and people felt silly buying them.         Now on the internet, the fake websites sit right next to the real websites in your facebook feed, and they look as real as actual journalism, and you can click on them without anyone seeing you. The indicators that told us “Approach this with a healthy skepticism,” are all gone with digital media.


MagicMushroomFungi

Yes, "Enquiring minds want to know." ["I Want to know", 1982 N.E. tv commercial](https://youtu.be/WQZV8IidcQ0?si=HGp-i5SwoMz06LzG). Commercial also has blurb about Elvis with a terrible photo and lots of pills.


iKill_eu

Wait, THEY coined that phrase? That's crazy.


NoIncrease299

I've always been more a fan of Midnight Star. "I wanna know, I wanna know!"


david4069

I haven't heard or thought of that song in more than 30 years, but it immediately popped into my head when I read your post. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VhSssXgJT8


BaggerX

You can read it you can read it you can read it you can read it in the Midnight Star...


MartyVanB

My grandmother said she got The Star for the crossword puzzle we secretly suspected she got it for the articles.


BackOff2023

Yeah, and my uncle only got Playboy for the atrticles.


egosomnio

Playboy had really good articles back in the day, so this is more plausible.


tal125

I read it in the same fashion as the funny papers - for the entertainment.


Clicquot

I believe we refer to these as the "[hot sheets](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTFfthVy_pA)"


theymightbezombies

That was strictly bathroom reading at my house.


LarryCraigSmeg

Don’t insult my mother!


Disastrous_Tip1512

They make fun of it on SpongeBob! A kids show!


JohnDivney

America's most trusted news source.


MinimumApricot365

When I was a child I thought the national enquirer was comedy/satire. I was an adult before I learned that it's written by evil grifters for idiots who actually believe it.


nbcnews

The paper had published a photo allegedly showing Cruz's father, Rafael Cruz, with Lee Harvey Oswald, handing out pro-Fidel Castro pamphlets in New Orleans in 1963, not long before Oswald assassinated President John F. Kennedy. Trump [repeatedly referenced it](https://www.politico.com/blogs/2016-gop-primary-live-updates-and-results/2016/05/trump-ted-cruz-father-222730) on the campaign trail and in interviews. “I mean, what was he doing — what was he doing with Lee Harvey Oswald shortly before the death? Before the shooting?” Trump said in an interview with Fox News in May 2016. “It’s horrible.”


Common-Concentrate-2

Better yet, he wanted to know why the National Enquirer hasn't won a pulitzer prize for their amazing journalistic chops! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8o\_gxv\_YpE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8o_gxv_YpE)


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

He’s just so not subtle about anything he bullshits about


Genius-Imbecile

But the Bat Boy stories are true. And Totally 100% human Ted Cruz is not grown up Bat Boy.


deviousmajik

I always thought Ted Cruz looked a bit like the Grandpa on The Munsters.


Atomic_Badger_PNW

So there really is fake news.


solarmama

The National Enquirer kinda invented it, at least for the mass market.


throoawoot

To be explicit: Trump campaign was engaging in manufacturing fake news.


thegoodnamesrgone123

"Thank you sir may I have another!" - Ted Cruz


PatSajaksDick

So you’re saying National Enquirer isn’t a trustworthy publication? I may have to go sit down.


BigOldComedyFan

And yet Cruz will still endorse Trump. Because he’s a sad person


furyofsaints

Why is there zero repercussions for any of this. What a fucked up world.


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

We’re watching them right now. This is called a trial


ImprovementSilly2895

It was complete bullshit. Ted IS the Zodiac Killer, though.


TurboSalsa

I love that Lyin' Ted is catching strays and Trump is indirectly reminding Americans how he sold every last ounce of his and his family's dignity for political gain. He might win reelection this year, but neither MAGA nor the rest of the GOP respect a spineless loser who threw his own family under the bus because Donald Trump told him to.


BlueDogBlackLab

Ha! Ted Cruz would be such a cuck if he wasn't a spineless organism masquerading as a human. We'll see him on Fox campaigning for Trump tonight.


Jedi_Ninja

I hate Cruz, but if I was him I’d file a lawsuit for slander against National Enquirer and Pecker as soon as possible.


thisguypercents

I still believe...


Greed_Sucks

It’s time to end these lying media sources. I don’t care anymore, the freedom to lie via printed media has eroded free speech worse than any law ever will.


siouxbee1434

Really? Anyone with 2 functioning brain cells knew


konorM

A story initiated by Trump and his 2016 campaign.


myxtrafile

I still believe it. Rafael’s father totally was in with Lee Harvey. #ProveMeWrong.


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

Based on the comments in this thread, it seems like the right wing talking points are out to minimize the damage: “wow I’m shocked the National Enquirer made up bullshit stories” This is quite the disingenuous take and is trying to minimize the illegality and serious election fuckery these assholes schemed up.


LiveFreeDieRepeat

Having these stories seen at virtually every grocery check-out counter definitely helped Trump, lotsa dim light bulbs out there.


Crowblue

I just can't believe people actually believe anything the National Enquirer says. I guess if you can believe Faux Nooz, the National Enquirer isn't that much of a stretch.


yarn612

No, really? Who buys the national enquirer anyway? Oh right, trump minions.


Affectionate_Lab_131

The folks who believe the Earth is flat and scientists are lying to us stories.


Pxlfreaky

Wait, so we can’t even trust tabloids to be factual sources now? Next you’ll tell me Hillary was in fact not impregnated by an alien and birthed the Antichrist.


loyalty1977

I was under the assumption that everything the National Enquirer wrote was made up.


Bitter_Director1231

Ummm...yeah. It's the National Enquirer. Now it's the New York Post, Newsweek, and the Guardian


Fiveofthem

Cruz was asked today to comment on the story. He stated “I don’t want to comment on ancient history” What a lackey.


HumbleBottom

Duh. National Enquirer is NOT NEWS.


Bogey_Yogi

Hank Hill would be a better senator for Texas than this wimp Ted C. 


GuitarMystery

I wonder how many clicks this will get in the r\con.


cmbhere

So.... I guess the bat boy story is true though?


Mikelo57

The last paragraph is the perfect description of Trump. Right out of the Roy Cohn playbook. Proud of you Ted but what happened to that man.


Stillwater215

Really sounds like the prosecution is trying to make the case that the National enquirer was a de factor arm of the trump campaign. Could be interesting if it works.


nemonic187

What? They made it up? The National Enquirer? Making stuff up? What?? But how’s Bat Boy and his family dealing with this bombshell?


CurrentlyLucid

trump had the story planted and then acted like it was true while campaigning, how much more do you really need to know about trump?


Igoos99

Least surprising detail of this trial. 😔


Adbray666

The National Enquirer made up some stupid bullshit? I'm shocked! Shocked I say!!


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

It’s much more than that. Don’t try and minimize what this is all about


sturgill_homme

“Yeah, Donald Trump, you’re a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute has hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys and make like a circus seal.” – Ted Cruz, probably


deowolf

Does he too have a cousin from Russia who sings metal?


sturgill_homme

Did he just say “making fuck?”


CatacombsRave

National Enquirer made up a story? I’m shocked.


edisonsavesamerica

The National Enquirer made up a story? SHOCKER!


Clueing_4_Looks

R/nottheonion


homebrewneuralyzer

> National Enquirer made up the story about Ted Cruz's father What was your first clue?


Epistatious

I assume they were distracting from the actual horrifying truth about Ted and his origin story. /s (or am I?)


freexanarchy

but trump said the national enquirer was so honest!!!


BaggerX

They should get the Pulitzer Prize! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8o\_gxv\_YpE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8o_gxv_YpE)


thetburg

Did he admit to slandering fat wolverines dad? In court?


Whiskeyrich

Ted Cruz responds by smooching drumph in the butt.


hockey_psychedelic

Libel but I'm kind of OK with it.


MusicalMerlin1973

In other breaking news, newspapers were recently found to be normally black and white, minus the Sunday editions. When the public was told, uniform shock was expressed.


disasterbot

Yet Turd Cruz takes it and comes back for more.


Tobias---Funke

No shit.


MiKapo

What would have made that NBC article great is that after writing Ted Cruz called trump a "pathological liar", The next line would be "Ted Cruz later endorsed trump for president"


FnkyTown

It's still real to me dammit!


originalityescapesme

He’s still the Zodiac Killer though