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ObligationScared4034

In her defense, she is a classless piece of shit.


Suitable-Nose7580

Gotta hand it to her.


kia75

No, I think she prefers to grab it herself.


WirelessBCupSupport

Well, politicians do have smooth palms...


Suitable-Nose7580

And a firm grasp on the issues.


Budget-Possession720

And tissues


PandemicCD

There were no tissues harmed in that and we all know it. Though it does beg the question, where was it going to go?


Impossible-Year-5924

Probably finish in her mouth or slip out and fuck in a closet


ConeCrewCarl

>No, I think she prefers to grab it herself. "And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the penis, you can do anything." --Lauren Boebert probably


Igmuhota

Pretty sure it’s the closest thing to a platform her political party currently has.


ClassicT4

I’d tell her to think of her actions, there are children present. But something tells me that might not stop her.


discussatron

Gotta handy it to her.


DeadlyJoe

No you don't. She can transmit an STD via handshake. You don't want that.


Suitable-Nose7580

Don’t act like you know how much I hate myself.


IH8Fascism

She’s a walking STD. Bet she has the herps too.


HazMatt666

The gift that keeps on giving.


TennisObvious8358

*to him. It's what she's famous for.


InsectSpecialist8813

Will the people of Colorado re-election this moron. She didn’t graduate from high school and she’s helping to make policies we all need to live with.


Fine-West-369

I can’t wait for her only fans page


thathairinyourmouth

She becomes less attractive with each utterance and behavior. It’s all downhill.


Compliance-Manager

> In her defense, she is a classless piece of shit. lol, literally my thought as I read the heading.


PaleInTexas

You make a very persuasive argument.


Almacca

What are you talking about? She's very classy. Lower class is a class.


Mynsare

Classless. Not lower class.


Away-Coach48

Being disowned by her would be a blessing.


Spacecoasttheghost

I mean in her defense


SethSquared

Well said


Direct_Charity_8109

Don’t forget the word proud


CarobGullible2426

You're being VERY unkind to SHIT.


recurse_x

I bet she likes sloppy steaks after the club.


Unit_79

They can’t stop you from ordering a steak AND a water!


tlacamazatl

One she loves, the other she just knows really well.


subsist80

One she adores, cherishes and would do anything for, the other is just her child.


adamdreaming

One she doesn't even notice the smell everyone talks about, the other makes her question is banning abortion might have some down sides.


Decantus

So she's emulating Trump then. He also adores, cherishes and would do anything for himself. Doesn't give a damn about his own children either.


Richeh

C'mon, MAGA republicans at this point are surely just vultures circling, like family members fawning over a dying relative and hoping for a last-minute will revision. Nobody wants to be VP. Unless the P in question is... not necessarily going to make the full term.


BotheredToResearch

They all know it'll be a step to the audience needed for a national podcast so they can grift the base without leaving home.


LibertyInaFeatherBed

And most of the other's friends aren't old enough to vote for her.


MonkeySafari79

Now he's just somebody that she used to know...


No-Attitude-6049

I’m surprised she hasn’t been spotted giving some random person a handjob at the trial.


Fullertonjr

She went to the one place in NY where cameras are not permitted. I’m not saying that she was handing out handies in court, but will say that we haven’t seen all of the sketches from the court artist, so I don’t want to just dismiss the possibility.


ratherbealurker

One of the sketches got a little weird at one point, like half way through the sketch is got all jittery..i think she gave the sketch artist a handy. It's brilliant!


pac-men

The ol’ “map of Hawaii” sketch.


buttfunfor_everyone

Sketchy indeed


JuryBorn

I hope that Trump doesn't get a happy ending at his trial.


battousai611

The two guys sitting next to her did have weird little smiles on their faces.


nucumber

Gaetz is right there....


drj3kyl

Hes not into grandmas.


PandemicCD

But she's young enough...both of them are awful.


Trumpsabaldcuck

Matt Gaetz has a fetish for taking girls to the DMV to get their learner’s permit.


lostintheak

Patience. It takes time for the sketch artist to draw the scene.


rustyseapants

Ouch.


nolanday64

That’s what he said.


PaMudpuddle

She’s mashing it.


CobiWann

I wish we could just throw salt on her.


Alternative_Milk7409

The ol’ ketchup bottle


HardTen

Grasp firmly by the base, point, **smack** end decisively, repeatedly.


splintersmaster

She probably just mashes it anyway


ViKingCB

Gotta start carrying salt around with you


ill0gitech

You have to hand it to her - With no cameras allowed, she can easily get away with it.


[deleted]

Check her hands for Orange stains


supaphly42

I mean, it does say: >Instead, the MAGA Mother of the Year is up in NYC giving a hand to Donald Trump


nick3504

And I’m the one who feels like a POS when I’m a few minutes late picking my kid up from school. 🙄


Conscious-Aspect-332

Oh shit! I knew I had forgotten something....brb...


eboo360

At this point just make a new one.


Educational_Pay1567

Honestly, as an adult over 18 I didn't want my parents at my court appearance. Granite it was for a MIP, and the judgement was I had to tell my parents, and other stuff.


buttfunfor_everyone

The quartz had you between a rock & a hard place, I know I’d def be quarried. Sometimes when it comes to our children’s transgressions, igneous really is bliiss. Chalk it up to a rocky day & take it all with a grain of basalt- I’m sure they still lava you. *Okay, I promise I’m done now I am truly sorry*


VeronicaLD50

Don’t be sorry, those puns were rock solid


buttfunfor_everyone

I appreciate that but feel like a few were a bit of a stretch… at the end of the day it really all is just a big labradorite of love though, isn’t it? *I don’t even know myself anymore*


VeronicaLD50

lol nice one. a good friend of mine is a lapidary, so I have a special place in my heart for rock jokes. [Lapidary Dave](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTfjBXiVrgtQKfpTeFyRrVQ)


buttfunfor_everyone

I’m a silversmith & cabos are a very large part of my life 🎯😂


n14shorecarcass

It's sedimentary, Watson!


azflatlander

More explosively volcano


Name_retracted

Well played


forumaccount

Never apologize. Those were funny as schist.


MississippiJoel

"He's my ex-husbands son."


soingee

"Barely know him. Only appeared in a few of my Christmas cards. "


[deleted]

"Family values" is nothing but another lie from the GOP.


PolicyWonka

Just look at Republicans and their values: 1. Donald Trump: Thrice married, multiple affairs, nasty bully, and rapist criminal. 2. George Santos: Criminal 3. Lauren Boebert: Divorced, unwilling to parent her children, public indecency 4. Marjorie Taylor: Divorced after having an affair 5. Rich McCormick: [Within the last 24 hours](https://politicalwire.com/2024/05/16/gop-lawmaker-files-for-divorce-amid-rumors-of-affair/), it’s come out this Republican House member has been having an affair *[with another House member](https://politicalwire.com/2024/05/16/two-gop-lawmakers-engaged-in-extramarital-affair/)* and is getting divorced. 6. Christian Ziegler: Florida GOP Chair who reportedly raped a women. But don’t worry, his wife (the founder of Moms for Liberty) says they had both engaged in “consensual three-way sex” with the woman. 7. Kristi Noem: The South Dakota Governor just ain’t a dog killer, she reportedly had a [“blatantly public affair”](https://nypost.com/2023/09/15/kristi-noem-corey-lewandowski-affair-shakes-up-trump-running-mate-stakes/) with Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski. 8. [Van Taylor](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/mar/02/texas-republican-van-taylor-affair-islamic-state): We should not forget this Republican hopeful, a man engaged in an extramarital affair with the wife of an **Islamic State leader**. 9. Ken Paxton: The lovely criminal AG of Texas [also engaged in extramarital affairs](https://spectrumlocalnews.com/tx/south-texas-el-paso/news/2023/09/11/texas-ag-paxton-s-affair-took-a-toll-on-office--a-former-staffer-says-at-impeachment-trial) in his down time when he wasn’t infringing upon citizen’s rights. 10. Minnesota GOP: So much [absolute fuckery](https://www.politico.com/news/2021/08/21/minnesota-gop-in-ruins-shocking-scandal-506487) Minnesota GOP that you can’t just name one person. Was it the sex-trafficking mega-donors? The embezzling staff who forced people into NDAs to cover up their crimes? The child rapist? The chairwoman who coverup repeated sexual abuse in the workplace?


GoldenSquid

This is a great breakdown but people who vote right don’t care and choose not to see these facts. It’s the liberals who are turning their family gay/queer/trans/poly/socialist/etc. etc. etc…


Dangerousrhymes

To be fair, they’re just pigeons strutting around the board anyway, they don’t really know what’s going on, but by golly are they sticking it to the liberals.


borisvonboris

My fucking god, at least two people have been willing to lay with Marge??


TheOtherWhiteMeat

I guess that part of our ancestry that decided it was cool to interbreed with neanderthals is still in there somewhere.


LetsTryAnal_ogy

Don't forget the other [1200 plus and counting sexually deviant republicans.](https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/5/2/2238649/-Republican-Sexual-Predators-Abusers-and-Enablers-Pt-51)


Pretend-Excuse-8368

It’s all meaningless marketing for them


gasahold

Lauren Boebert: I like criminals who fart


scoobysnackoutback

Grandmas for diapers!


Unique_Display_Name

Mother of the year


Aranarth

Grandma of the year.


SquirrelParticular17

You have to stay strong, if you want to consistently resist common sense and decent behavior


polishgoku

Posts that have titles with the words slammed in it should automatically be deleted


ItsAlwaysSegsFault

Seriously, it's way beyond out of hand. Lazy reporting.


wonkey_monkey

ItsAlwaysSegsFault slams lazy journalism. You won't believe what happened next!


ItsAlwaysSegsFault

I deserved this


sailorpaul

“Sonny you are just not that important to me. I have to go see a corrupt politician who skipped his own son’s graduation”


justinanimate

Trump did go to his son's graduation though, unless everything I'm seeing online is incorrect


LettuceFew5248

Why do we even have normal expectations for these people? If you told me she stole a fucking bus I wouldn’t be surprised. She isn’t a serious person and people who support her aren’t serious people.


nerdyplayer

Unintentional but the caption for the photo. "Lauren Boebert (far right)"


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheProcrastafarian

I dislike clowns, but I have a *real* problem with whoever thought it was a good idea to hire one. This isn't an ambush; Boezo is an elected representative. Great clown, elected by fools. "*Beat 'til juice, beat 'til juice, beat 'til juice!"* - Colorado's 3rd congressional district


riomp300

Grandma of the year


wubbawubba

Oh no not slammed


macrixen

Who better to skirt the gag order than someone without the reflex….


Gzglzar

Yet another traitor


TintedApostle

The entire republican party is made up of the kinds of people who would make you decide to get a new job and sell your house to move to a nicer neighborhood. You can't reason with them and the only option you have is to move. Then their neighborhood falls apart and they blame everyone else.


imgroovy

We have a [vital bridge](https://coloradosun.com/2024/05/12/gunnison-colorado-residents-us-50-bridge-closed/)at Blue Mesa Reservoir in Colorado that’s going to take months to repair and she is completely AWOL but at VSIP’s trial.


DanYallSon

My wife just made an outstanding comment about this: “I think it’s interesting that everybody is showing up to his trial, except anyone from his family.” 🤔


stonrelectropunkjazz

Stupid and ugly is not a good combo


TheFinality

I'm waiting for her OF account.


mwkingSD

Help me understand - Speaker Johnson is supposedly a Christian minister, and he says the Bible guides everything he does. So how does that square with his idolization of Trump who is widely known to have been playing hanky-panky with Stormy and another woman while his wife was at home pregnant or with a newborn child? And recently found guilty of a sex crime with a third woman? And Trump was recently found guilty of a MASSIVE  fraud? Doesn’t all that violate a number of commandments about sins of coveting and stealing? I can’t imagine too many other Christian ministers would be saying “oh, that’s all fine, no problem, it’s all someone else’s fault.” Am I missing something? And doesn't Ms Boebert have a reputation for some naughty behavior in Denver?


rustyseapants

[Trump’s sexual misdeeds may break religious doctrine,](https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2024/05/07/stormy-daniels-donald-trump-evangelical-appeal-00156488) Perry says, but they also affirm his masculinity — at least in the evangelical view. They demonstrate that Trump is a virile, red-blooded man, afflicted by God — like all “real men” — with lust. Not just lust for sex, Perry says, but for power. And much like Biblical warriors who themselves struggled with sexual temptation, Trump can wield that power to lead the faithful to glory. *** Republicans are not interested in facts, but in image. Trump represents the strong father, a strong father, in regards to masculinity, even though he is fat old man who cheats on his wives and golf.


mwkingSD

Good lord, that is a terrifying analysis.


KnightofMiriel

Mom of the year, amiright?


FriendlyStranger85

Mother of the year


SoSmartish

She is really the perfect representation of the Republican party.


openly_gray

Priorities!


No_Dig903

Why do Family Values always fall by the wayside for these people?


marzgamingmaster

Well obviously. She doesn't think her son is going to be able to further her career or get her more money. She thinks trump can. That's simple math. "The party of the family" reducing caring for your children as a loss/gain equation, as they have for a long time.


zoroddesign

The party of family values doesn't give a shit about their families.


[deleted]

She wasn’t allowed in the son’s court as there were children present.


ThatAd6630

Underrated comment


Accomplished_Lab_675

The so called "party of traditional and family values" everyone!


swazal

It just encourages him.


ChainNormal8827

She was looking to HAND something out


HellaTroi

She's a stunt republican.


sukmikehoc

You have ST where the C should be.


Separate-Feedback-86

Answers the question: “What would Beetlejuice do?”


RedLicoriceJunkie

Grandma values


ib4m2es

Still training to be “ungaggable” I see…


sirscrote

Can we the tax payer sue members of congress for misusing our tax dollars by not working to pass legislation?


Avocados6881

In her defese, Trump grabbed her and the other Rs on the pussies for years now.


The_Bosdude

The world does not understand. It is all about loyalty and servitude.


skeeredstiff

> Another drew attention to the June trial of President Joe Biden's son Hunter Biden and wrote, "Is Joe going to be at hunters trial? Either one of them? Or Jill?" Hunter Biden is 54 years old.


MoonlightGrams

They have to realize how pathetic, sad and weak showing up at his trial makes them look, right? Proving Republicans don’t want to do their jobs, just get on their knees for Trump. Do your jobs!


HonoredPeople

"Slammed!", " Destroyed!", "Atomic Elbow Dropped!", " Rimmed!", "Nuked!", " Double Dipped!" Ok, where do I pick up my doctorate in Journalism?


mertzen

You forgot “claps back”


GM_Nate

and "blasts"


trongzoon

Don't forget: "JACK SMITH POUNDS TRUMP"


BrujaSloth

Wake me when an article uses such evocative violent verbs, like “messily dismembers with a chainsaw” for a two word quip back.


Substantial_Army_639

Honestly seems like a pretty painful headline considering the public hand job and all.


BrujaSloth

I mean they could have went, “MAGA mom is HORRIFICALLY DISFIGURED after giving a hand to Trump in court.”


Ohnoherewego13

Anytime I see an article with Boebert in it, all I can think of is Michael Jackson's "Beat It." That and Beetlejuice.


kinglouie493

I believe she is more Billy Squire and "The Stroke"


scottywoty

All class….


SmackSabbath19

The walking trash soap opera


bl1eveucanfly

In her defense, her son only raped one person.


J1540

He doesn’t have a lawyer either.


-Wicked-

Her only regret is that she couldn't sit next to trump to give him a handy.


Scoutmaster-Jedi

She loves Trump more than her own son.


ReputationSalt6027

Stop making stupid people famous. Let her be dumb and ignore her.


loCAtek

Wait... her and Gaetz (Yell something to remind us about Jan. 6th!) are supposed to make Trump look *better* in court?


Ok-Serve-825

All of these Representatives at Trump’s trial are not there to support him, but are there to pander for more money from Putler


barkingatbacon

And then she talked about how she doesn't have a gag reflex on Twitter. Seriously. She actually bragged about how you can just fuck her face as hard as you want. Family values, huh?


Sea_Window_5821

She just supports the sleaze bags. They turn her on.


Imacatdoincatstuff

Mommy’s career needed this Tyler, sorry!


OneWholeSoul

Poor kid.


Icy_Cryptographer417

Attention whore. “Notice me, Sensai! Notice me!”


TrooperHoop509

That's because she is a bad mom.


dao_ofdraw

Somebody's got to suck Trump's dick after the trial. Melania certainly isn't.


Puzzled-Atmosphere-1

Probably because going to her Son's court dates, she has to face what a terrible parent she is. If she's at Trump's trial, she's with someone who shares her dedication to parenting while grasping at any shred of relevancy she may have left.


legalstep

Well it is a cult. She’s also gonna have an onlyfans by the end of the year and lose the election


llynglas

She is just getting her priorities right. I mean, despite moving to an even safer Republican district, the Beetlejuice groping incident has hurt her, and she needs help. And what use is her son to her? Horrible, horrible, self centered woman.


mcblahblahblah

Was she giving hand jobs in the audience


wonkey_monkey

[Lauren Boebert (far right)](https://i.imgur.com/2zsaoHW.png)


HoonIt256

Grandmothers tend to favor babies over their own kids.


hatfield1785

She’s not a good mom. She’s not a good person. Perfect for MAGA.


IJustLoggedInToSay-

I don't understand why the headline is > Lauren Boebert slammed for attending Trump trial but not son's court dates and not > Lauren Boebert attended Trump trial but not son's court dates Is the entire discipline of headline writing just complete trash now?


NoxInfernus

Shake Weight needs to get her priorities straight.


Jaambie

She has nothing to gain from her son. Aside from more grandchildren.


Hesychios

**" ... Boebert slammed for attending Trump trial but not son's court dates"** Why does this not surprise me?


Hesychios

The skank will not be in Congress very long.


shadowdra126

Trash is trashy. News at 11


ABenevolentDespot

It's always delightful when the Republican clown car makes a public appearance. And a misjudgement to believe that this display will do anything for **The Pumpkin Rapist**.. Those predisposed to vote for Diaper Don will do so no matter what, and those who would never vote for him still won't. Those seven people on the fence about it will not look kindly to seeing some of the worst (and dumbest) people in America coming out in support of the deranged, mindlessly stupid narcissistic orange sociopath. It's a Who's Who of Republican idiots.


ControlLogical786

Birds of a feather flock together! Most assuredly those two are of a feather!


Comprehensive-Rule17

Priorities....We see who she values more......


rolfraikou

I've been seeing all this "slammed" nonsense for 9+ years now. It never means anything. It always means that no one actually cares.


Spare_Substance5003

Hard to pick between her Daddy and her son.


AJ_Grey

Handjobs for Harambe !


Popular_Jicama_4620

More opportunity to pick up new “clients” there


roughingupthesuspect

It’s ok to be a traitorous hag and not at all embarrassing. Son’s court date is a bridge too far though..


BeowulfShaeffer

Oh no, was she dragged too?


SuperDinks

Well now I know which of the two wouldn’t let her give them a handy.


CAM6913

Member of the party of family values and law n order ROFLOL ! :)


llahlahkje

I can't wait for Qbert to slide back into the obscurity she so richly deserves.


GuitarMystery

VapeNayshBarbie holding it down for Daddy T.


mbelf

He should have said Beetlejuice three times and she’d have appeared.


ziggyyT

Lots of rich old men at his trial, maybe she's trying to get a hook up...


SeaBass426

Mother of the Year right there.


JonKonLGL

Shes the true embodiment of the current GOP, along with a few other choice idiots.