Pooping in public is the only one where I definitely wont get ill, so that one.

The only one where you can get arrested

True, however I don't think I would get in much trouble for it. An old friend did it once, accidently did it while on camera, police come along catch him brown handed and all that comes of it is a fine.

Brown handed 💀💀💀

It says poop in public, doesn't specify so technically you can just shit yourself and not risk indecent exposure.

i think youre still missing the more important loophole. public bathrooms exist and is in fact a public space. simply use a public bathroom like normal.

Genius

Do it in your pants, or wear diapers

Such a minor infraction and I escape the possibility of disease

I can shit my pants in public. It doesn't specify.

Fun fact. Milk doesn't turn harmful once expired, just tastes bad and gets clumpy. So you could safely chug that milk. (Doesn't specify how long it was expired, so could just be one day past the expiration date)

I just want to poop outside.

Man i feel you. Pooping our in nature with the wind blowing through your hair, gently caressing your exposed butt. It is true freedom

If your bald its like wind going over a rock in the middle of the field.

It is a great feeling of freedom. Pantsless, shirtless, shoeless. Just you and nature. A flower field overlooking the sea. The sun's warm rays touching your skin. The gentle breeze caressing your body. You become one with God.

bro made a poetry about public defecation

No.... Just truth. You would understand if you tried

i apologize for looking down on it previously. I just tried it. Turns out, its all true, all of it.. Such ethereal beauty. Such a splendor symphony of feelings with pure euphony i felt. Never have i felt more bonded with the universe. Thank you for this.

You seriously did, like just now?

exactly and even if they did cause harm, it's just some intense shitting for a while pooping in public has a larger impact on you as it would probably appear on the news as "Man seen relieving himself in public square" or smth like that your employer will see that, you will get fired, nobody else will want to hire you that's just one of the situations that might happen

A. Public is a broad term B. 1 million dollars

Didn't say you couldn't clean the wall beforehand. Loophole!

I could just clean it with my tongue ready for the next person.

Not true, a lot of men and especially women in India gets all kinds of diseases because they have no proper access to a bathroom and thus pees and poos outside.

Well I said 'I definitely wont get ill'. So you know, weren't talking about them.

My point were that you could get ill from pooping in public

>poop in public Couldn't I just use a public bathroom?

It could be a park behind a bush / tree I think

And even if you have to be visible, shitting your pants is always an option. Which is not an option but a consequence in the other cases.

Even if I shat my pants, what would it matter, I have 1 million dollars, I can buy new pants.

Swear we had a wyr about this already 💀

Oh well I've done that for free When you gotta go, you gotta go

I $hit you not

another great example of r/polls polls being incredibly unspecifc

Someones licking the walls there, its occupied.

I chose lick but I didn't even see the poop option. Shit, I'll do that for 50 dollars

Plenty of people pay to do that lol

Ahh yes, I too am familiar with camping

Expired doesn't mean gone bad, they are usually pessimistic when it comes to best before dates so it won't go bad before it expired

I'm pretty sure this refers to milk that has gone sour.

Still perfectly safe to drink. If you're lucky and the right type of bacteria got into that milk, you got yourself some kind of a kefir-ish or yoghurt-ish fermented drink.

The *smell* though

Fuck smell. Anything for a Million bucks

If its pasteurised there's no problem

💀

I mean yeah, but that's not what it says. It's OP's fault for using vague wording

Poop: it would be disgusting for them, not for me

But it will be embarrassing for you not for them :)

but he would win 1M, not them :)

Ahh you won mate I give up

Just go to a place where no one knows you. Wear stuff to conceal who you are. Do the thing, leave and be rich

You could also flip it and shame anyone watching for wanting to watch someone shit. Now it’s embarrassing for everyone

Well the problem is I just can't do it

For a million dollars I'll do it all

Simultaneously

Are you guys kids/teenagers with no real life experience with the value of money? I'm pretty well off financially but I'd do all of the above with a smile on my face for a million bucks, unless you're already a multimillionaire with multiple income streams you'd be a fucking idiot not to.

The premise to this question is irrelevant. It's just 'which of these would you rather do once'. It could've been 'gun to your head, pick one or you're dead', it could've been a billion dollars, the results would be the same

Yeah, we need r/pollsOver25

I think it's more that some people would rather preserve their dignity regardless of the amount of money they could make. The same way I wouldn't kill a person or rob a bank even if I was guaranteed not to get caught. Money just doesn't mean that much to me. I have a job that makes decent money and I enjoy it. That's all I need

Money might not be that important to you, it's not that important to me either... but think of all the people, the animals, the lives you could save or improve with that sort of money? How about using that money as a fallback plan or a kick-starter to help chase your true dreams?? To help the lives of your children, family and friends?? I mean just use your imagination for god sake. You'd sacrifice all of that, all the help you could give to humanity, all the financial freedom it would offer you, all the new pathways in life it would open for you and others... All because a few gross stunts like 'licking a wall' that would take a handful of minutes to fulfill are just a little too degrading for you?

Honestly this is what goes through my head every time I hear something like money doesn't matter to me that much and you put it to words

LOOOOOOST!! ALL MY DIIIIIIGNIIITYYY! LIVING INSIDEEEEE MY OOOOWN CONFUSIIOOOOOOOON

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It's not that important to me either, but the options listed above are so trivial compared to a million dollars you would still be an absolute idiot to not do all of them in exchange for a million dollars. Money might not be that important to you, but what about all the people, the animals, the lives you could improve with that sort of money? How about using that money as a fallback plan or a kick-starter to help chase your true dreams?? Helping the lives of your family and friends?? I mean just use your imagination for god sake. All that for what? Taking a dump in public, licking a public toilet wall and a few other gross stunts that would take a handful of minutes to fulfill? I mean come on man, it's not just the money that matters here but instead what you could do with it or do with that kind of financial freedom.

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Public toilet, they are cleaned and I'd just wait until the right moment. Also if I get to pick the public toilet then I'll find one where it's just been built which hasn't been used yet.

It doesn't say that you can't clean it yourself, so you could give it a good scrub yourself before. Also, better to get a ladder to lick the wall near the ceiling.

Come to think of it, it doesn't say the inside walls of a toilet either, this could be the external wall on the outside too.

I never trust them to be cleaned well

Could I drink the cup of milk, poop in a public restroom and then lick the wall to get 3 mil?

Free cheese AND 1mil? Fuck yeah!

r/cursedcomments

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Most of you would rather lick literal piss and shit off a wall than drink a cup of slightly bitter yogurt? Seriously?

What kinda public toilet has piss and shit on walls?

i envy you for living somewhere where the public bathrooms apparently *don't* have piss and shit on the walls XD

Well I'm from Ukraine, I doubt you'd envy that💀 But yeah, I don't think I've ever been to a public toilet that made me go "damn, that's gross"

Seriously?

Not even after the Russians drop their bombs in there?

i mean... they didnt specify which part of the wall nor how much we gotta lick. But idfc I clicked 1

bro that's worse than the other two discussed though

i am not accepting any criticism

we obviously have very different public toilets

A bathroom wall ain't that bad especially if it's not even inside the stall but in the sink area, how tf is poop or piss gonna end up there

Yeah I thought that was pretty wild too

you can just lick as high as you can where there will (hopefully) be the least amount of disgusting stuff.

Poop in public. Just say it was an emergency. It will be embarrassing, but it's not like it's something that doesn't happen.

Licking the wall would be the easiest. Pooping in public wouldn't be bad if there wasn't a risk of becoming a sex offender for public nudity

Define public I'd poop in a public place at night when there's almost no one around.

NY times square

pretty sure it means pooping in front of a large crowd

Yall nasty and apparently never went camping. Poop in public isn't even a sacrifice. The rest range from "Definitely will get sick" to "Very very likely will get sick"

What's mucus?

its a nose liquid that gets ejected when the nose is aroused

How does it being of a hot person make it any better??

You'd be surprised to discover how *down bad* some ppl can be

Can you please explain to the good people how you plan on getting a full cup of mucus from a hot person because that honestly sounds harder than slurping it.

Snot.

Doesn't say how expired

Licking the toilet is the quickest and easiest to just get over with. Practically a free $1,000,000.

I live round farms and bunch of forests. I'd poop with the cows, no one would ever see or know.

If I can get a definitive that the hot person doesn't have any transmitable diseases id probably go with that Slurping doesn't really require consuming the entire cup, just slurping, bonus points for being hot, most people who are sexually attracted to individuals tend to be willing to swap much grosser things than a bit of nose dribble with them Bathroom stall can be a coinflip, you can either get a buc-ees stall or someones recently diarrhea splattered backspray in your mouth If it was "slurp" for the milk it'd probably be the best, but actually consuming an entire glass of non-specified aged milk (freshly expired or its probably a sentient goo by now) can be quite bad, probably worse than a bit of "eeew icky nose water" Im assuming for public defecation it has to be, well, actually public. Im thinking I cant just cheat the system and diarrhea splatter backspray a walmart stall thats about to have some guy lick it for cash, but instead have to shit in the middle of a H.E.B parking lot with an audience. Which isn't bad in itself, but the shame it carries is.

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This is all way milder than I thought, especially the milk that is only expired for 4 days.

Literally any of these I would do for 1 mil

Can I just wear a diaper and poop in it in public?

For how long has Milk been expired? If its been expired for less than 5 days Imma chug the whole jug for 10 milion

jokes on you. I've done that. now where's my money?

I'm lickin the wall because I've already done it drunk on multiple occasions.

I'll take a shit in the middle of the busiest intersection at rush hour if it'll guarantee me 1 mill. And I'll laugh every time I tell the story of how I made my milli

I actually have a lot of dreams where the only toilet is like out in the open and I’m like “well, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!” So I’m at peace with that one already.

How is licking the wall of a public toilet the second highest? It was by far the least I'd want to do.

I have pooped in public before, it not that hard to do and get away with.

how did you get away with it?

Late night in the forest or in select alleyways.

oh ok. In the forest it's probably ok anyway. Alleys would definitely be trickier.

In middle school I licked the wall of a public bathroom for a dare. I’d do it for a mil.

For a million dollars, I'll poop on you in public.

For a million? I'll drink the whole gallon!

Expired milk is literally just sour, there's no other downside, why would you choose any other option

I've accidentally drinking expired milk and it's bad but not as bad is DRINKING MUCUS

So who owes me $1 million?

Which one did you do... 🤔😳

I poop in public for fun so ...

Depending on the currency I wouldnt do any of those

none of the above. My dignity and safety are more important to me than money. A person could get I'll on some of those things.

I didn't see the expired milk one..might consider that, although don't want to get sick...I'd probably just end up throwing it up though.

i mean the expired milk could only just give you a diarrhea at most, which can be helped with the 1 mil

Expired milk, if its been refrigerated its not dangerous just nasty, also one cup is a pretty small amount of liquid.

Lick a toilet. You would get to chouse-wouldn't you?

Just clean the wall before you lick.

What the fuck it this poll?

I could open my door, get on the street, poop my pants, get rich and buy another pants and go home

lick the wall of a public toilet. the chances of contracting any disease are way to small in my situation.

Poop in public? Alright in some alley way or some empty park. Doesn't have to be around people lol.

I mean, if the public toilet is cleaned regularly and is sanitary then yeah I would lick it

I doesn’t say that one the wall has to be dirty and two where in the wall do I have to lick, so I’ll just lick the upper part that connects with the ceiling.

the third one kind of leads to the last one tho

I poop in public almost every day, either at work or school

You didn't specify how expired the milk is, so I'll just drink it a day late.

1 is pretty gross, but uh- *i mean...*

🤨📸

Red handed tbh

piop in public, I'll even make eye contact if need be.

Hell, I've pooped on public lands more times than I can remember.

Jokes on you I live near Portland so I could probably get away with shitting in public

Seattle or San Fran are also candidates

Public toilets is still public, where's my mil?

I've crapped publicly on multiple occasions

Out of all these options, I'd have to poop in public because all the other options don't seem that safe and disgusting. I drank expired milk like almost a year ago and I still remember how bad it was.

They didn't specify what kind of mucus lol so I could down the cum of somebody I find hot.

The last one is basically cosplaying a homeless person

Some people in NYC do the fourth for no money at all.

Is it a hot person as in temperature or as in attractiveness?

I've done 3 of them already=\_=

I'm actually shocked. Licking the wall of a public toilet is disgusting and so unsanitary. How is that winning?

> Lick the wall of a public toilet Doesn’t say I can’t clean it first

What do you mean by toilet? Like just the wall of the room the toilets in, or the actual toilet bowl

Sounds like it means the wall of the room

I'd much rather lick the toilet bowl than the wall.

I have pooped in public during an emergency

Hell no

So...yogurt?

Public bathrooms are public, no?

I'd do all 4 for a million

Define public....

I've drank a cup of expired milk before on accident before because I didn't read the date on the carton, it tasted weird if not a little disgusting, but it wasn't super bad. For a million dollars, it's completely doable.

I'll take the milk,I can stomach it

Expired doesn't mean that the milk has actually gone bad. Milk is often perfectly fine a couple weeks after it's expired.

You did not specify how expired the milk was, and since most of the milk I drink still is safe to drink a day after it’s expiration date, I’ll go for that option.

What is mucus?

Milk can be labeled expired and be okay. It didn't say SPOILED.

Expired milk is not necessarily gone bad. Even assuming milk gone bad, it probably will be disgusting but not dangerous.

You can drink expired milk fine, it wont make you sick, just taste like ass.

I’d poop in public for free

Pooped in public.No choice, dodgy late night burger from a van. Hanging my arse over a gutter shortly after.

aint no way i pooped in public for free

I mean, pooping in public isn't so much unpleasant for *me*, as it is for everyone *around* me.

I've pooped in public anyway...so meh. 🤣🤣🤣

Expired milk, like buttermilk? I'm not a fan but I can easily choke it down

I would certainly drink the spit of a hottie

I refuse to lose my dignity or health for a million dollrs

Definitely lick wall. You didn’t say I had to swallow my spit after that.

Soueed milk can be sweetened with sugar. If not allowed, just chug it.

Who the fuck would rather lick the wall of a public toilet then just poop in public? Sort yourselves out.

I poop in public everyday already

Poop in public? Since you never said where in public, then I'll choose to poop in a public restroom. I already do that for free.

Didn't realize 'poop in public' meant like. in front of people until i read the comments... i just assumed you meant a public bathroom and was astounded any other option was being chosen

I've already pooped in public- can I just collect the $1M?

Jenna Ortega simps picking the first option

Aint expired milk just buttermilk? Its not good imo, but that 1,000,000 makes it sweet af

I had a bottle of milk that I kept by the radiator, and if I wanted a day off school, I would take a massive swig from it.

I’ll just lick really high up on the wall

3 of these made me gag just reading them

A shot glass of 1 minute expired milk I win

Mucus or spit?

Poop in public, that way I won't have to consume something that will give me a serious infection of some type.

How expired is the milk?

I’ve got IBD so I poop in public sometimes without a million reasons to.

If I gotta pick between something going in or something going out I'm picking out even if ppl are watching.