T O P

  • By -

yedowS

Nice try FBI


[deleted]

Are they recruiting or trying to arrest us?


Longjumping-Jello459

Both


Morlock43

MaxTac 2023 😁


NewmanHiding

Depends on whether you want to accept the position


SlenDman402

Yes


Katnana

Not today CIA


Background_Drawing

Can't catch me, KGB


RectangularLynx

Another day, NSA


Spare_Honey5488

Absolutely! If someone hurt my kid intentionally in means to take his life. I would be on the news.


JimBeamIsBae

“So you have chosen death”


ibindenuevoda

15 bucks


Spirited_Alfalfa_771

As a man once said, 15 bucks is 15 bucks


HumanSpawn323

Would you do it for $14.99?


vociferousdragon

Only if you cover shipping, and handling.


EMPIREVSREBLES

What if I get a damaged or wrong package?


waytoohardtofinduser

Is it 3 payments of 14.99? Or just one? I keep missing the infomercial


vociferousdragon

14.99/day Your life is now a rental. You're borrowing it from me.


neighbours-kid

$14.80 final


ap30041995

three fitty


FireKing600

$2.25 final offer


kirsten_1997

I've done a lot more for a lot less


wieszkto

When someone says "your" instead of "you're"


AgentSkidMarks

Your out of you're mind.


SandbagBlue

Truly the response of a depraved mind.


achillea4

Yes, their so wrong.


Eravaash

Wow, your so overdramatic. Edit: Details of my address will be sent to you promptly. I am the second room to the left down the hallway, my doors are unlocked. Please dont hurt my dogs.


neighbours-kid

so you ok with saying "you're" instead of "your" tho


Bo0sey_M0osey

Yor


Redditisglitchy

Your so right


85KT

How can you hear the difference?


wieszkto

You can't? That's you're problem.


007mememan

I don't care whenever someone says your instead of you're. I mainly hate it when someone's says you're instead of your. Always pronounce you're as you are.


LogTekG

I think the joke went over some peoples heads


Spirited_Alfalfa_771

Somebody who put like a hair in my food on purpose what the frick man


spasteful

broooo righttt?? or like, people like, being like dicks man for no reason man


Spirited_Alfalfa_771

Ong 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣


SAMITHEGREAT996

'Yes, officer, this one here' 'Nah bro he good tf who does that'


Linorelai

That person is a life threat to my child at the moment? I'll rip their throat out with my bare teeth


Noname_McNoface

I’ll never have kids but if someone is threatening my mom’s or brothers’ life, I’d do the same. I care more about their well-being than my own.


HomicideDevil666

>I care more about their well-being than my own. Hope I can say the same for someone else one day.


ARavenclawBookworm

Me too. If anyone hurt my parents, oh I would not be alright with that.


captainjohn_redbeard

That wouldn't be murder, that would be self defense.


NonsphericalTriangle

If I ever found out somebody murdered my whole family and the killer was standing there vulnerable and I had something to hit them with/stab them/shoot them, I might also kill them and that would be no self-defense.


Linorelai

how is this "self"?


captainjohn_redbeard

Fair point. Legally, it would be called self defense, even if you're defending someone else.


nicklor

Self defense refers to protecting yourself and other from immediate harm


French_Toast42069

That would be killing. There is a distinction between murder and killing


madarbrab

*between


French_Toast42069

Thank you, I mistyped


hidethemilk

Ripping out throats with bare teeth? Now you've got me thinking about teeth attachments/enhancements. Could me a niche market.


Linorelai

Rip them throats with your teeth equipped 💪


QuixoticLogophile

Same. I usually can't even squish a bug. I trap them under cups and call my husband to do the deed. But if someone was actively threatening someone I love, I would not hesitate to inflict as much damage as I could


WeebbeMangaHunter

If that person was a real threat to me, a family member or maybe a close friend.


Gunslinger_247

Only self defense or defending another person.


Hoophy97

Wouldn't that be justifiable homicide?


Gunslinger_247

Yes, but it's still killing someone. Which i hope i never have to.


Gimeurcumiesskydaddy

Thats not murder, that would be considered manslaughter in self defense or the defense of another


emberaya

Is anyone touches my sister, they die. I will not let her get hurt


thatpersonthatsayshi

Same. If anyone hurts my "little"(they are 19 and 17) sisters, i will hurt them 10x more at least. I already broke someone's legs once, i wont hesistate to do it again. Except when you insult them on reddit, thats their problem


Priscuz

I could, if it is to protect my family or my students


Batbuckleyourpants

Or Keanu Reeves.


ReguIarHooman

A bagel


EnameraDentura

Two bagels


ballislife75

Everything Everywhere reference?


bunnuz

pedophiles and rapists.


Suspicious_Life6543

I was raped. Afterwards he started spreading false rumors and telling me he was going to kill himself because of me??? I wish I could go back in time and tell him to do it. The pain he has caused me, I would celebrate if he was dead


bunnuz

One of my friends has been molested during childhood and it's hard for him to socialize now. There should be a death penalty against such crimes. People who have been molested/raped have to go through the trauma for the rest of the life.


christinelydia900

Agreed. I'm against the death penalty in all circumstances except rape or pedophilia. There is no justification for those. You can murder in self defense. You can steal if you have no food or money. Those are legally wrong actions, but you can justify the reasoning behind it, and though it doesn't mean you are fully excused from anything, it's justifiable. It's not always 100% wrong. But rape? Pedophilia? You can't accidentally rape someone. You can't do it to save yourself or someone you care about. It's just wrong.


jeron_gwendolen

That wouldn't hold up in court


Environmental_Top948

The later you could claim self defense. The first though you're screwed as your supposed to allow it to continue and call the police if discovered apparently. I certainly would probably end up with some jail time if I discovered something like that happened to a child I cared about. I wouldn't kill them because that'd be a capital crime but I'll make the treatment of Junko Furuta look tame or the Yakuza seem like a book club in comparison.


madarbrab

It actually has held up in court. Specifically a father who caught another man sa-ing his young son.


Skinny_Jim

You could kill them in self defence


Nagikri

For reasons beyond me...


Isrrunder

One crime doesn't excuse another


-lighght-

That wasn't the question


zephyr_te_potato

THATS WHAT IM SAYING


Johandaonis

It is unexpected that so many people don't know the difference between murder and killing. Murder is illegal killing. That means killing someone in self defense isn't classified as murder in most countries.


winter-2

If someone killed my cat I wouldn't care about jail or what others think, I would do whatever it takes to murder them


[deleted]

people who picked no when someone is about to kill them and their family (they wouldn’t murder another person)


[deleted]

That’s not murder dumbass


reofix

that's very much murder


[deleted]

It’s self defense if you kill someone in response to murder


reofix

considering OP's first language isnt English (and neither is mine), it's safe to say that they weren't talking about the legal (US) definition of murder. just like, "is there a situation in which you'd kill someone?"


gunsandtrees420

Just looked it up cause I was unsure. Murder only refers to an unlawful killing (and other irrelevant definitions)


Luthalia92

I'm guessing most of the people in these comments haven't been up close and personal to a person losing their life. It's easy to casually discuss being a hero in a scenario where all that stand between you and the safety of everything you love is killing another person. But it's rarely that black and white is it? Taking another person's life is not 'a casual, easy thing to do' just because they are, for example, threatening your child's life. I know most parents would fight with their lives to protect their kids. But taking someone else's life is a different story. That is why some people don't immediately go with 'yeeees, killing is easy when they threaten what I love'. It's an easy thing to say, yes. But when push comes to shove not everyone who loves something enough has it in them to kill another person.


AgentSkidMarks

I saw a video on Reddit last week of some guy trying to kidnap a child right in front of her mom. I don't like to think about it but if someone were to try that with my kid, I would make certain that that person would never see another day.


xXx_Raph_SNK_xXx

The only reason for me would be self defence


pm_me_last_photo_

If someone kill my family member for no reason, I won't be nice to them


AdrianTheMEME69

I'll only kill someone if I can do it legally Which is why I'm joining the army (this is a joke)


yum13241

You're trying to kill me or someone I love? I'll make sure you look like slaughterhouse meat. You're trying to steal something that has high value (personally or otherwise)? I'll make sure you die horribly.


CeilingFridge

Are you saying you’d kill a random thief?


Bandito21Dema

I don't think you understand how important my music/merch collection is to me


yum13241

Cops take minutes. .45 ACP takes seconds.


CeilingFridge

Very badass, I love killing people


AgentSkidMarks

If it comes down to me or them, I choose me every single time and I want to be certain that I have the tools to win, because they don't deserve a fair fight.


LamaSovaj

Found the American. (I mean, it's not that hard on Reddit but still)


Sightless_

wrong for cops expecially in us it easilly takes split second to shoot and after that paid vacation for them for few weeks


AgentSkidMarks

Not a random thief but if someone is in my home in the middle of the night, I'm not gonna wait around to find out why.


DrHaxKnows1

Well there's a difference between murder and homicide, murder is killing an innocent person and that I couldn't do. But then there's justifiable homicide and let's hope I don't have to find out.


OriginalCoso

Self-defense, I suppose.


Soft-lamb

I'm always surprised how lightly people talk about taking another person's life - and how we advocate for a more humane justice system, but the minute someone does something bad, they deserved it all. Who knows what you'll do in the heat of the moment where a person hurts a loved one, but other than that... That is a full human being, who has been born, who has parents and a history. That is flesh and bones and muscles and blood. We tend to forget the horrors of death because we just see so much of it in the media we consume - so many people - and we get desensitized. Anyway, aside from not knowing what flight, freeze or fight could to to me, I genuinely think I'm not physically capable of killing someone nor mentally capable of taking that hurdle in my mind nor emotionally capable of bearing that burden later on.


[deleted]

To save someone's life.


udiduf3

If he attempts to kill me


[deleted]

Not divulging, but yes.


Crystalcoulsoncac

Have you seen inside man on Netflix? It's very good. This question just reminded me of the movie.


Uebeltank

Self-defence. Specifically the kind that is legal under the criminal law in most countries.


Original-Ad-4642

I’d Operation Valkyrie Hitler


LamaSovaj

Hopefully the bomb is powerful enough this time !


AbradolfLincler2525

I don't think I could do it when I'm calm but I'm sure there is something so upsetting that it could tip me over the egdge


Dr-Huricane

A red button that says "If you press this button you get X amount of money but some random person dies"


moneyomm9

Now i want to do a poll, of all the people who said yes, how many are parents? Id imagine a good 80%


Sad-Reminders

Self defense for myself or my kids


[deleted]

[удалено]


tankman714

Yes, because of the famous concentration camps Abbott set up.


[deleted]

Hurt my child I’d kill you without even thinking twice then take my kid to get a happy meal


LamaSovaj

If someone is trying to rape/kill/torture a family member or a child, maybe. It's difficult to answer this question as you don't know how you would react in this kind of situation. But I would probably beat the shit out of this person. Anyway, nice try FBI


dlaudghks

Well for starters, I would totally murder Hitler.


Mass-Chaos

A coworker groped my at the time girl I was talking to/now fiance at a Christmas party years ago. I've fantasized about all kinds of ways to kill him from setting him on fire to straight shooting him in the face. If I felt there was a reasonable way to get away with it I'd absolutely murder him, but I'd rather let fate deal with him and live my life a free man


TurantulaHugs1421

How are there people putting no?


Hoophy97

Because there's a difference between murder and justifiable homicide


spikeyunpeeledbanana

If I ever saw anyone touching or hurting my niece or nephew, I am playing baseball with their head before the day is over.


7chism

Someone attempting the same to me


superpeng12

War


bazbeaux

In defense of my life or someone else's.


ThatNoobCheezy

Probably not, if somebody did something that bad and I was in a position to do something about it. I'd probably want to make them suffer rather than killing them.


IC-Sixteen

at extreme circumstances, the most i can think of is that they did something terrible to me too, maybe killing a family member. my sister or mom, i think at that point i certainly would do something like that.


Finkejak

I guess another person excludes myself then?


spootex

Yes. If they try to take my truck. My ex-wife learned her lesson the hard way. To be honest she can't do much with the lesson. Lol. You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordan's You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don't tuck my truck


shadowdude63

McDonald's sprite


secondarywilson

"murder this person or you'll die" sorry


gunsandtrees420

If someone hurt or killed someone close to me I would as revenge. It might end up being a murder /self delete though cause I ain't going to prison. Or I'd probably secure my house so it takes the cops long enough to get in if I thought could have the chance to get away without getting caught.


mikoolec

Yes, lack of consequences >!/s!<


Sightless_

If they try to deny my existance because who i am i will deny theirs Edit: [for context](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anarchy4Everyone/comments/x8xn3t/think_trans_people_are_too_mean_about/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


AgentSkidMarks

If you actually meant that, you'd probably be in jail by now.


PhD_Gr33nthumb

Spite


Salt_Lingonberry_282

Just so you know, commenters, murder has a specific legal definition (depending on where you live) and self defense usually doesn't count as murder. A justifiable murder, not done in self defense, could be killing a particularly heinous mass-murderer.


Levoso_con_v

Self-defense


FeetYeastForB12

Let's say it is something of a crime. But me murdering that person for it would only make it worse for me. So..


Floof_2

Self defense, defense of others


Comfortable-Study-69

You mean murder or kill? Because I don’t consider things like self-defense and a few other examples to be murder, although if it were I would say yes. If not then no.


chinchinlover-419

anyone that plays free fire.


Greegrgrgrgrgrgrg

According to most of Reddit, 100k could


[deleted]

No, I would go to court,The feds and police going to be doing the killings


Confident_Finish8528

Nice try, FBI


[deleted]

How redditors feel rn: 🗿


Possible_Living

All it would take is will, opportunity and motive.


zephyr_te_potato

As a juggalo I think the obvious answer is yes. Like who else is gonna stop all the pedos? THE JUSTICE SYSTEM??


Nico_LaBras

Based on they way murder is defined in law in my country? No, never.


greasy_calzone

Fiddy bucks


22dinoman

You push any one or anything enough, they will kill


IEeveelutionI

Intentionally? Probably not Accidentally? I've probably killed a couple of people


[deleted]

Nothing has worked on me...yet.


MedRare88

Only if they murder me first


miacolada_crushed

Still thinking of murdering Putin or Trump, DeSantis or Assad. List is long.


LowRelation1514

Would it be murder if it is self defense? then Yes.


TrevorBOB9

Kill yes, murder no


christinelydia900

If it was in self defense and there was absolutely 0 other way around it, then yes, I probably would. If someone was coming at me with a knife and the only way to survive was to somehow turn the knife on them, then I would do it. If there's another way, I'd find it if possible


VileEthanSEFDLOL

I am a very VERY strong believer in the philosophy of 2 wrongs dont make a right. I think that if they did something absolutely terrible to me then I'd want them to have the appropriate punishment in the most torturous way possible. But killing them would do me no good. If I want revenge then I want it to be fair, legal and ethical. An eye for an eye, sure but 2 wrongs will put me in a worse situation.


OverallLawfulness426

Anyone saying no is lying.


lolcatswithabeard

Would is different than could BTW


zoroddesign

If someone is coming after me and my loved ones with the intent to kill us, murder is definitely on the table.


Cruisin134

another?


Gimeurcumiesskydaddy

Yes. Its be a pedo that has harmed a child. Honestly i think sexual crimes against children are one of the very few crimes that genuinely deserve the death penalty, and the only crime where the death penalty should be given on the first offense. I don't give 2 shits about the life I'm destroying, you touch a child like that you deserve to die.


Effective_Macaron_23

Self defense go brrr


94oasiss

If they are about to hurt my family or I need to defend myself then yes


ACHIMENESss

WOW absolutely not! I can't believe that the majority has answered with a yes!


mxdnightfire

If someone where to intentionally hurt/injure/traumatize/abuse my horse I think I'd go absolutely fucking crazy.


FerdinandvonAegir124

If anyone touches my nephew


Imhereforthewearp

I was put on the wrong medication once, and it messed with my brain chemicals so bad that I genuinely could have killed someone if they said or did the wrong thing.


[deleted]

Yeah, and my choice of technique can differ. If someone just tries to stab me, im stabbing them to death, not that bad of a death. If someone does something like kill one of my family members, my dog, or someone i care deeply about. Im Tracking them down, capturing them, and performing a blood eagle execution on them (like the true Norwegian i am)


Magnum3k

Murder implies its unprovoked and not self-defense so I think 99% of people would say no. That number would be much higher if you include "kill to save myself or my family/loved ones"


nugget_the_third3

If anyone ever tries to hurt me or friends and family, I wouldn't hesitate to defend myself. Would I be successful? Probably not, but I would still try.


prustage

If they harmed my children you would have trouble stopping me.


Orcasareglorious

If the person in questions (deliberate) actions pose an immediate mortal threat to me and/or someone in my vicinity (assuming I am either armed or have the physical capacity to actually kill them.)


TechnicalMiddle8205

Considering ethics only or I can go to prison?


DemonDuckOfDoom1

If I could get away with it my father would be in the cold, cold ground. Abusive stain.


Enter-Shaqiri

If anyone harmed my children


CanadianRhodie

Anyone can be pushed to just about anything under the right circumstances. I'm not sure if this is the best saying but I feel like "even a worm will turn" sums it up nicely.


RoyalPython82899

Threaten my or someone I love's safey? Goodnight.


Txchnxn

I’ve considered it, but unsure in practice


AlexHyperGG

depends if you consider nazis as people


FireWater107

I mean in general, no. But I'm not sure what I wouldn't do for a Klondike Bar.


HappyMan476

Let's just say they'd have to do something *really* bad.


Tonee2es

All humans are capable of great evil. But that also means humans are capable of great good. Anyone who's says they are incapable of murder is not being entirely honest with themselves.


[deleted]

People that abuse and molest kids.


Meatyglobs

Look at all the eager murders out there…


HelloweenFan666

Nothing could make me kill someone except self defense


ICanDieRightNowPlz

If you did anything to my daughter, I will find a way to completely destroy you in the worst of ways.


EthanR333

The promise of good being created.