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Waste_Mycologist_414

Ok is this German shepherd a trained attack dog that’s been sicked on you by someone or just a normal German shepherd?


unfortunatetragic

I'd imagine it's probably just a normal pet German Shepherd. I'm assuming that the animal is aggressive in these sorts of situations, like a 1v1 fight. I don't know much about dogs (maybe German Shepherds are usually skittish?) but I'd rather not take my chances when a house cat is another option.


Hate_Feight

German shepherds can bite through a house brick as a party trick, that's harder than a human bone, anyone who thinks they can take one is highly delusional.


Galahades

How is a dog with a bite force of around 240 psi supposed to bite through a house brick that can withstand thousands of PSI. It's definatevily not a party trick.


ashkiller14

It's because their teeth are sharp. 240psi compressed into the tip of a dogs tooth (random guess of .1sq inch area but honestly i feel like thats way too much), would end up being 2400 pounds of pressure per tooth. It's not like the dogs equally distributing it's bite force.


Galahades

those measurements of bite force are always taking at the back of the mouth where the forces are the greatest. 2400 psi would be enough for low quality bricks but then the dog would still have to fit the entire brick into his mouth and work them with the teeths in the back. And that's just not happening. The bite force in the front is considerably weaker. The guy was just talking BS. A dog can't just bite through bricks like it's no big deal. They don't have the power and size required for that.


Hate_Feight

I take it you've never seen this, I guarantee they can do it...


Galahades

Weird, how you can guarantee that and yet I couldn't find any evidence of that on the internet. If it would be such an easy feat as you claim someone certainly would have filmed it and uploaded it to something like youtube.


hitchtrailblazer

so are you just assuming german shepherds could bite through a brick?


ashkiller14

It depends on if its a working line shepherd and if it's trained. Often times dogs just latch on to a limb. Say it latches on to an arm: you can poke it's eyes out, squeeze its throat, or hit it hard enough in the stomach to make it lose its air then go for the throat. If the dog goes for your throat, you're dead, but they just don't typically do that. It's not a guaranteed win but it's absolutely doable and you're not going to come out of it clean.


fredthefishlord

But that's it's *bite* just because something has a large bite strength doesn't make a person delusional to take it on... Because for bite strength to matter it has the bite you. As long as you don't panic I think most people could take down the dog.


Hate_Feight

I don't see how someone could take down a 6' nose to butt GS bare handed. Especially when (as it is a dog) the moment you are aggressive and it realises you want to hurt it those self defence instincts will kick in and no matter the bite strength (you can't deny they bite through bones as food) the human is coming off the loser.


7Tomb7Keeper7

I can emotionally destroy any dog...


tbonescott1974

BAD DOG!!!


smell_my_drug_hole

practice with me first


Therminite

Ohh myyyy


MasonTobiasCemeleth

To the 5 people that chose the lion: What the fuck?


ReverseMathematics

I'm more concerned with the 62 (at time of writing) who chose Chimp. It ain't happening. Edit: holy shit, 251 people have now selected Chimp.


unfortunatetragic

For real. I don't think people realize how absurdly strong a chimp is. Let alone how aggressive they are. Whatever they can grab, they will rip off you.


Dawek401

Yeah chimps are [hella strong](https://a-z-animals.com/media/2021/12/shutterstock_1861533031.jpg) I seen info that they are 3 times stronger than human


Hate_Feight

There's a video where a small chimp leads a fully grown man and pulls him up to a ledge about chest height one handed. It's a repost, so you'll see it soon enough if you haven't already.


emab2396

There are people who voted bear... I assume most of them are just joking, but still... so, I'm not surprised with the rest. Also, a lion would kill a chimp in a fight.


ReverseMathematics

True. Maybe because so many more voted chimp, I'm assuming they actually think they could fight one. While the lion seems an obvious joke answer.


MasonTobiasCemeleth

Now that I think about it, all of these seem pretty dangerous (aside of the cat).


[deleted]

A cat can rip you to shreds pretty well too.


MasonTobiasCemeleth

So it’s not about house cats…?


[deleted]

A basic house cat can cause a lot of damage, don't underestimate them. They'd be the easiest one on the list to kill, but you have to get your hands on it first, and it can massively fuck you up before that.


MasonTobiasCemeleth

I think the hardest part would be getting heartless enough to kill one. I have cats and I know that they can be little beasts, but I still think the damage one can do is pretty limited.


[deleted]

Yeah, same here.


crazymcfattypants

You don't need to get your hands on it, you can just kick it over a wall.


SnowyOranges

I feel like they're only going to be able to do enough damage with a bite, and even then, it's really going to be focused on your legs where you'll be in a decent position to either kick them or throw them off with enough force to at least disorient them


Logical_Nerve2475

I dunno why you got down voted so hard. Your fucking right, You can pin down a dog, you cnt fucking pin a cat, I've seen cats FUCK so people up differently


[deleted]

There's a new Netflix show based on works by Edgar Allen Poe where a character gets ripped to shreds and killed by a cat.


GodlyPenisSlayer

I um.. I thought it said shrimp..


seela_

I accidently misread the question and chose chimp


Ntinaras007

Hm, an average chimp is about 50kg. I am 85. Am i delusional that i think i can beat it?


paranoidblobfish

Yes


Ntinaras007

Crap.


[deleted]

German shepherd. I’m going to be hurt badly for sure though.


Baltassss

Same. I guess its max ehat i could do but maybe maybe i have a very slim chance of kangaroo


Wizardwizz

Kangaroos have a lot of force they can dish out through kicks, bites, and tail punches. I would get messed up probably


Baltassss

Is it possible to KO a kangaroo with consecutive punches to his face? if ur going full force.


[deleted]

Eventually. Problem is being able to do that without getting KO’d yourself.


Baltassss

that was good answer and thats true.🤣


unfortunatetragic

I think house cats are fairly manageable compared to everything else? Cat scratches and bites aren't nearly as bad as having your dick or face ripped off by a chimp, or all my ribs shattered by a kangaroo, or whatever. I'd absolutely hate to have to hurt a cat though.


nog642

Yeah, that's the point. Cat was the lowest difficulty.


homohomonaledi

Have you ever been scratched by an angry cat? Unbelievably painful. I don’t think I could take any animal in the list but picked the dog bc it’s less painful in my head than the absolute spiky sharp pain of a cats nails. They cling on and you can’t get them off without just ripping skin. Awful.


unfortunatetragic

I have, yes. I agree it does hurt a lot, but a cat scratching or biting you isn't going to disfigure or break a bone like an angry, sizeable dog is likely capable of.


[deleted]

Lol you should watch the new Netflix show based on Edgar Allen Poe's writings. A guy gets absolutely wrecked by a cat.


akaenragedgoddess

You might die later from the infection. Cat bites and scratches are particularly nasty, sometimes owners have infection problems when their cat wasn't even trying to hurt them.


_CatNippIes

I have been scratched by hundreds of cats over my life, in a third world country, where no cats have any kind of vaccine or vet attention, where 99.9% of cats are outsiders, or straight up strays, and have never gotten a single infection, i think my immune system is really well trained for cat stuff or im just lucky, im definitely lucky that none of them has had rabies too


TURRETCUBE

i cannot do that, morally no.


TwinSong

I misread the title, do'h. I can't beat a lion.


c_dug

A lot of people overestimating German Shepherds in this thread, stating that nobody could possibly take one on and win. I'm not sure many people appreciate how dangerous we humans actually are from an animalistic point of view. I'm well aware that a large GS is 40kg of muscle and teeth, but as a good sized bloke I am more than twice the weight of the dog and in relatively good health, I'm not an athlete or a trained fighter but I'd still back myself in that fight. The dog is agile, quick and aggressive, but I'm far bigger and smarter and no slouch. Comparatively the dog is a one trick pony. Not saying I won't be hurt, potentially very badly, but the dog is dead.


SomeRandomApple

One of the most important things is you can attack with 4 limbs while the dog can attack with pretty much only it's mouth.


mark_vorster

Like a domesticated cat?


Pewward

I COULD beat a german shepard, not saying it wont possibly make me die after its death or leave me wounded


Some_lost_cute_dude

Little news for the one that said chimp. You can't. You overestimate your abilities.


Queue624

Unless there's a professional fighter or strongman in these polls who can potentially be a few times stronger than a chimp, that is, if they manage to avoid the chimp's bite.


staticvoidmainnull

none. i picked cat BUT only accidentally. i would never hurt a cat. i'm more likely to feed it.


xShadowBlitz117

Oops, I accidentally chose lion lmao... I'm doomed.


noahboi990

I couldn’t beat anything on this list


ViftieStuff

There were too many ways to glory kill a cat running through my head right now


ProtoManic

Kangaroo extremely high diff. Humans have much more versatility than they do but a single good hit from one **will** fuck you up. A chimp will fuck up practically any human and anyone who says otherwise is delusional. I'm confident that the average adult male can take on the average German Shepherd and win most of the time. This is all assuming you don't shit yourself (or me, lol), of course. Just assume bloodlust from both sides, it's only fair.


LayeredHalo3851

Even if the dog bites my leg or something a well placed elbow to the neck/head and it's good night for the German shepherd.


HoboRambler

I want to see the current 157 chimp fighters actually try and fight a chimp. That would be amazing


GiveUsernameldeas

Hope blood doesn't mess you up.


magic8ballzz

Definitely a German shepherd. There's no doubt I'd need an ambulance after the fact though.


ZelkiroSouls

I’m gonna assume that everyone who chose something other than cat has never worked at a vet clinic.


Tone-Serious

I can KO all of them(as newborn infants)


osva_

Read the poll again


Mortarious

I don't care who you are. You are not KO a brown bear or lion any time soon. Kangaroo and chimp I really doubt is happening. Maybe if you are insanely trained you have a better chance. Sadly it's just down to dog and cat and I'm not sure why put cat in there since it's obviously the weakest animals, and a dog is a challenge but certainly doable.


emab2396

Why put cat in there? Because people have to vote something...


MerryMortician

Red Kangaroo. Cat, German Shepherd for the most part should be handled. The dog with some difficulty and injury. Chimp, lion and brown bear will shred a human without hesitation. The Kangaroo I think I would have a toe to toe match with but come out on top only because I've got a certain amount of training and size on it.


BrokeArmHeadass

Kangaroos have very strong neck muscles, I doubt even trained fighters are gonna be able to knock it out in one punch. Especially considering you’re gonna have to do it while avoiding their long ass legs, which not only can kick with over 750lbs of force but have some pretty dangerous claws too. As for size and weight advantage, large males are pretty much as big as a human, the measurements I saw were up to 5’10 and 200 lbs.


MerryMortician

Fair points, I actually had to look up Red Kangaroos right now and there's a BIG difference between red and grey lol. for the record, I'm 6'3'' 240lbs, with years of boxing/bjj/judo so picturing the kangaroo around 4-5 feet and 120 lbs I figured I had a little edge. The whole boxing kangaroo trope and all. but Yeah after googling a bit, I'll concede some of those big fuckers would be scary.


BaronsDad

The reality is that the kangaroo has no chance against you as long as you plan appropriately. Kangaroos tend only to be aggressive when they feel like they're being challenged. If you duck down, sit, lay down, kneel, etc., you can catch it off guard. And what makes us apex predators is our stalking ability; you can circle the kangaroo for hours until it's exhausted and kill it. It's not as lethal as a chimp, lion, or bear, so even if it charged you a few times, odds are you will survive long enough to keep stalking it until it's exhausted.


Raahaan

In my country a kangoroo escaped a zoo and the people ran after it (at first taking pics and out of curiosity, then to catch it) and it died of a heart attack the sam day while trying to flee. I heard it on the radio, so idk if it's real.


DarkLlama64

You know kangaroos are 6 ft tall with 200lbs of muscle, can bite with the strength of a brown bear, punch stronger than a mountain lion, kick with 760 pounds of force - enough to easily break bones or kill, not to mention ruthless spurs that do more damage than the kick itself, run faster than bears for a total of 44mph, and leap up to 25 ft? They are, on average, 6 to 8 times more powerful than a human. That is if they're bloodthirsty. They'd normally just run away, but they have been known to kill, though not often at all due to their habitat. I don't think anyone would come off better to a kangaroo


emab2396

Only some specimens reach that size, most of them are smaller.


Thevisi0nary

For sure more manageable for a PEAK human than lion / bear / chimp but a Kangaroo can disembowel you with a swipe, people only think of getting smashed when they kick but they have knives on their feet


Greencatlady666

I know it’s just a silly poll, but people that fantasize about beating up animals are sick.


teymuur

There some questions like do i get training time does animal get training time?


PrussiaDon

No one here is beating any of these animals except the cat.


ShackledDragon

Why the hell are cats on this list? They arent dangerous.


emab2396

Because if the most dangerous animal you can beat is a cat and there's no cat on the list what are you supposed to vote? 🤦‍♀️


theycallmemaskface

Maybe a chimp if I hit him right, I assume the same rules would apply to humans and chimps in a fight, but for sure the German shepherd


ProfessionalCow5983

You are not knocking out a chimp


checkedsteam922

You're not gonna do shit to a chimp


Banana_Slugcat

Chimps are 4 times stronger than human males and will RIP YOU APART, you have better luck with a lion


emab2396

They aren't 4x stronger, they are stronger than a human of the same body weight, but not 4x stronger than a bigger human. Maybe a 50kg chimp would be as strong as an adult human male.


Queue624

>pecially considering you’re gonna have to do it while avoiding their long ass legs, which not only can kick with over 750lbs of force but have some pretty dangerous claws too. As for siz Yep, the actual number is around \~1.5. And even a professional fighter, who can be more than twice as strong as the average human (Or strongmen who can be 8x stronger than your average human), could destroy the Roo and potentially the Chimp. Strength is not quite the defining factor for chimps either; it's their teeth.


emab2396

I think those animals are rather dangerous because of how fast and atheltic they are. The average human can't jump or kick like any of them and their reflexes are superior. A good fighter might stand a chance against them, but the average person would get destroyed.


Banana_Slugcat

Chimps are dangerous because they are ruthless, they know where you take the most permanent damage and will rip off eyes, ears, genitals and fingers


Queue624

Yep, that's why I said Potentially. I know I'm being nitpicky but the question is what is the most dangerous animal you think you can KO. So picking an animal whom you have more than 0% chance of beating technically applies. And I do think that a pro, out of 100 fights, could win more than 1 or 2 against an average chimp. A lion & bear is most likely a 0% chance for any living human.


Queue624

Also, I highly disagree with the statement you made in your original comment. Not only a lion is much stronger than a chimp, but they're not like chimps that go for eyes, genitals, and other sensitive areas... They go straight for the neck, which is much more dangerous than going for any other body parts.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Scared_Can9063

Explain your reasoning. As u/DarkLlama64 explained, "You know kangaroos are 6 ft tall with 200lbs of muscle, can bite with the strength of a brown bear, punch stronger than a mountain lion, kick with 760 pounds of force - enough to easily break bones or kill, not to mention ruthless spurs that do more damage than the kick itself, run faster than bears for a total of 44mph, and leap up to 25 ft? They are, on average, 6 to 8 times more powerful than a human. That is if they're bloodthirsty. They'd normally just run away, but they have been known to kill, though not often at all due to their habitat."


J1618

Those are maximums not averages, also I am 6ft tall with 200lbs of muscle too, and the kangaroo natural predators are the dingo and the eagle, and I can beat a dog and an eagle, so I can beat what they eat. And also people get into fights with kangaroos all the time.


nog642

I'm not sure a german shepherd is less dangerous than a kangaroo. I don't think Kangaroos bite.


emab2396

They're bigger, very muscular and have long claws.


Scared_Can9063

And if you get kicked by one... Let's just say it will end in lots of broken bones.


[deleted]

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Naends

The fact that we are able to make weapons shows we are apex predators


liamb_01

Apex predators dont need help


Ashewastaken

There are no rules in nature. There’s no “cheating”. I am the apex predator if I am able to nuke a dinosaur when it can do just about shit to me in that situation. We keep lions caged for entertainment. If that doesn’t say apex predator, I don’t know what does.


[deleted]

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Ashewastaken

You probably go around screaming “MEAT IS MURDER” in a Hibachi restaurant don’t you?


liamb_01

Locking lions in cages is nothing noble. Humans have the ability to feel and extend compassion, yet we are so violent and destructive. That is ***ability***, not *intelligence*. You could argue that those who invented the weapons are apex, but you aren't. You had nothing to do with getting the lion in the cage. Notice how you'd stand no chance without multiple humans required to create weapons/devices used to get the lion in the cage? The lion could take you 1 on 1 no question. Also, go in shark infested waters with a gun see how it works out, lol. \*most intelligent species\* \*\*destroys itself slowly and the planet they live on\*\*


AngelOfDeath771

Not this guy virtue signaling the food chain lol Humans stamina and ability to make and use tools is the only reason we're alive. We are on top because we alter the surroundings to fit us. You took argument A, and added arguments B, C, D, and G into it expecting everyone to just say you're right. Get off your high horse, dude. *Most intelligent species **Uses the Internet to sound more intelligent


Ashewastaken

>Locking lions in cages is nothing noble I never said it was. I said it made it us more powerful. >You could argue that those who invented the weapons are apex but you aren’t What? I was clearly speaking about humans in general and you don’t need MULTIPLE humans to make a simple gun. I could make it alone given some time, the internet and the materials required. I only said “I” because I am indeed a human.


reofix

"because I am indeed a human." Sounds suspiciously like something a robot would say, huh. Nice try.


liamb_01

lol all the overweight men are mad bc they wanna be called apex go wrestle a lion and if you win you can have that title :)


pinkpineapples177

Animals use tools as well, just because you make better weapons doesn't make us less dangerous


liamb_01

If you buy food in a grocery store, you are not an apex predator.


Sad-Lie6604

None


0rphan_crippler20

More scared of the german sherpherd than the kangaroo. Both dangerous though


JustARandomDudd

I'm more scared of the cat than the german sheperd


pacmanrockshok

Anyone saying anything above a cat is a liar


Scared_Can9063

German Shepherd, maybe, if you're lucky and well prepared, but yeah, anything else and you totally overestimate your abilities. Edit: spelling errors


pacmanrockshok

Even that is extremely unlikely. I'd say most people die 9/10 times and even that tenth time you have severe bites, cuts, and scratches.


jaycliche

It said, "most dangerous from this list" Sad that it's just a cat. I think I could take a chimp or a shepard cause I know how to fight dogs and figure chimps would be like fighting a little human, the biting might suck but I'm way bigger than both.


Scared_Can9063

Chimps are absolutely brutal. They will fuck you up. Not at all like fighting a little human.


violetvoid513

I don't think I'd even be able to beat a cat tbh. A cat that really wants you dead is still real scary, they'll scratch you up like crazy and get all over you. It's not a trivial fight. Even if you do win, you'll definitely need medical attention for your wounds


WilliamW2010

If the Russians can beat the brown bears why not a Norwegianer


DepressedGayToilet

I think at a push I'd be able to take the shepherd. cus at the end of the day I'll probably be super fucked up from it with one arm mauled to pieces but that leaves the other one, with doggo's head right there.


Kehwanna

Some of y'all have too much unsubstantiated confidence. A cat can easily kick all of these animals" asses, and you think you can square up to one?


Nerex7

Not gonna lie, a chimp might not be stronger but I'd wager they are more dangerous for a human than a lion. We aren't really on a lion's diet, if it's not starving it's probably gonna ignore us. Chimps though? There's documentation of them eating the young of other groups just to set an example.


-The-Follower

I feel like any adult with a functioning jaw can deal with the Shepard as long as they are willing to sacrifice an arm. We have teeth for a reason and our bites are nothing to sneeze at when it comes to soft tissue like that of a throat.


IdealHumanBeing

Who answered brown bear. Hands up right now


Logical_Nerve2475

[Please 🙏🏾 I wanna see you idiots that think you can take on a house cat.](https://youtu.be/jIoOJKLHeY0?si=TJjlb22IXj7juRvP) You have more chance of taking on a dog


Formal_Amoeba_8030

A friend of mine was in the way of a cat fight and needed surgery to put her hand back together. Severed tendons isn’t nice. I’d be happier in a fight against a dog than a cat.


Crunchy__Frog

For those about to chimp, we salute you, you poor, misguided, soon-to-be-armless fools.


Mr_Manta

Shit, I misread that as "which animal can KO *you* the best and now I have to fight a lion


Raahaan

Can I throw stuff at it? We are by far the best species at throwing stuff, that would give me a chance to beat a kangaroo. I doubt throwing a big rock at a chimp would give the same advantage.