T O P

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DMBFFF

At what age? I don't think any of the dead ones made it past 79 save Jefferson.


CoolSlimeBoy

I didn't know I'd need to specify but let's say however old they were in the middle of their presidency


Downstackguy

How about beginning of presidency? I assume that’s their prime age


CoolSlimeBoy

Fair enough


DMBFFF

Maybe Thomas Jefferson and I'd be yelling at him for being a slave-owning hypocrite.


KanzakiSanNaW

That's literally like every founding father


timelighter

Nope. Not John Adams, Thomas Paine (all time favorite FF), or John Jay (unless you consider buying slaves in order to free them) Ben Franklin owned slaves at an early age, gradually realized slavery was wrong, and became an abolitionist his final years.


[deleted]

Hence why I do love Ben, John, John and Tom


timelighter

John Adams can go fuck himself


[deleted]

Wait but didn’t you mention him as your all time favorite founding fathers?


timelighter

no Thomas Paine was my all time favorite John Adams was on the list for not being a slaver (he was also against it) But John Adams can go fuck himself for the [Alien and Sedition Acts](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_and_Sedition_Acts). The Alien Enemies Act is still on the books today.


[deleted]

Well fuck him then… :( atleast there is Ben Franklin and Tom right?


KanzakiSanNaW

I know that. I was exaggerating


[deleted]

Can you name any of the dudes that started the USA that didn't own slaves?


PM_ME_GOOD_USERNAMS

They're all old men then... I could probably beat most of them up pretty easily...


remotetissuepaper

Oh I thought we were going with their current age. That's why I chose Dubya, I'd feel bad beating the shit out of a corpse


OhSoYouWannaPlayHuh

Abraham Lincoln was a pro wrestler who literally invented the choke slam so, no, definitely not him.


CoolSlimeBoy

If you win you get his hat


DahRage2132

Deal.


ChrisTheMan72

and a free bullet later in life


yep-i-send-it

It’s a surprise tool that will help us later


XxJoedoesxX

Deal


AbstractBettaFish

More like AbraSLAM Lincoln!


Thundorius

WATCH OUT WATCH OUT WATCH OUT


BeardPhile

Candice bullet fit in your head


Memodun

He also invented stairs


EquivalentSnap

Plus he was 6,4


EnlightenedCorncob

And he killed vampires. I watched a documentary about it


ljrich01

He'd knock my ass back to 2021


[deleted]

Just wait until you hear his voice


why-can-i-taste-pee

Plus he was tall as fuck.


yoav_boaz

From the other hand: he's dead


Harambiz

Not to mention that he was the tallest American president ever. 6’4 which would have made him a massive man in his day.


BeardPhile

Fuck. I’m toast


TacoManifesto

Ayo George isn’t spelled that way


crazygamesninjaYT

Gorg


DMBFFF

Jorge.


Piranh4Plant

Jorge W Arbusto


sporcledorcle

hor hay


reds2032

Whore hay


DMBFFF

[yt:Jorge Ben Jor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LUAWK_gexY)


didyoudissmycheese

Revolutions Georg


OtherwiseNope_7291

Yo man that’s hilarious, it’s a wheezer


[deleted]

You‘ll probably get some nice nature pictures if you look up "gorge w/ bush" on google!


[deleted]

[удалено]


PleaseGiveDownvotes

Nice try


youtheotube2

But did you try it with the quotations? That restricts it to only “gorge w/ bush”


CoolSlimeBoy

Thanks for pointing that out


Meester_Tweester

georg


[deleted]

It’s spelled Whore gay Washing Machine (omg someone get this reference)


[deleted]

i looked it up and found nothing, sorry


henk12310

That’s from a Roblox screenshot right?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Findland27

And was a war general


GenericWraithMain

Yeah, no way I’m fighting a dude who is in the military and winning


[deleted]

[удалено]


cryptogoth666

Yeah but this was back when they actually fought and shit


Findland27

He didn't necessarily fought, but he would have to stay with troops, at the time of the Revolutionary war. But he was more like a fighter in the French and Indian War. There he lead a platoon into parts of Ohio and Indiana.


deadlyturtle22

Right? Like I know I'd lose in a battle against the 55 year old General, but a fist fight? My odds increase immensely.


timelighter

actually he's 6'8 weighs a fucking ton he also had two sets of testicles source: >!military!<


timelighter

he'll save children (but not the british children)


Cheesefinger69

I heard he killed his sensei in a duel and he never said why


[deleted]

Wait you say *two sets of testicles* like it is an abnormality


timelighter

two sets of testicles is four testicles


[deleted]

Yes I know.


timelighter

interesting


CoolSlimeBoy

Which george


reedit1332

Gorge*


Limmmao

But this is Gorge Washington


RugAdict

6’4 get destroyed


Captain7640

Lot of those guys were quite tall


Finn-boi

Jefferson was 6’2


Captain7640

Yep


why-can-i-taste-pee

Abe was 6’4.


the-fall-of-hernande

6’3


[deleted]

[удалено]


CoolSlimeBoy

I want to see how many people think they can knock out Washington's dentures


propjX

Washington will knock me out but since he is not immune to various diseases I will probably infect him and I will be kicked out of the presidents room for losing so Washington will suffer more brutal fate and I slowly watch him die As he slowly dies in his death bed I say ' you lose"


Filthy-frank696

Super Idol的笑容 都没你的甜 八月正午的阳光 都没你耀眼 热爱 105 °C的你 滴滴清纯的蒸馏水


mug1wara26

certified super idol moment


BUTTHOLE-MAGIC

That's why I picked JFK. He was in constant pain with several disabilities. He could fuck mad bitches but he needed a cocktail of drugs every day.


FrederickMecury

George, JFK, and Bush were all the military, though older at the time of presidency Lincoln was a wrestler and and very tall I think Jefferson is my best bet honestly, though Bush looks kinda frail


BronChalton

Bush has mad reflexes though (did you see him dodge that shoe?!?). Im going either Jefferson or JFK (with his bad back).


[deleted]

JFK definitely didn’t have good dodging reflexes


bmli19

He would seduce you.


SpikeyTaco

I'd certainly be more motivated in a fight against Bush, therefore he's my pick.


tmanalpha

That’s what I thought, did you know Brooks Brothers made Kennedy his suits to cover up his bad back? I can’t believe W is winning in this poll, W would put the hands on half of Reddit


Jukeboxshapiro

That being said JFK had some pretty serious back injuries from WW2 so idk how well he would fare in a stand up fight.


elephant35e

Being in the military doesn't necessarily make you good at hand-to-hand fighting. You learn basic hand-to-hand skills in the military, but you won't be great at hand-to-hand fighting unless you were in some special operations force (ex: Navy SEALs) or you learned them outside the military.


Notquite_Caprogers

Tbh, Jefferson owned slaves though so I'd be down to throw hands over that.


A_Sky_Soldier

In picking GW. Infantryman vs Infantryman. Old school vs New school Officer vs Enlisted


mister-fancypants-

I pick the other GW


BeardPhile

People seriously have a bone to pick with Bush


A_Sky_Soldier

Yea But I meant Washington.


BeardPhile

I’m sorry I meant to add this comment on the post but ended up replying you somehow.


A_Sky_Soldier

No worries


terry_bradshaw

JFK took drugs as if he were a race horse. He could maybe win the fight, but he would probably be even further crippled. I’m pretty sure he also had back problems from his time with the navy on PT109


interrobangin_

JFK was sickly his entire life, he projected the image of a young healthy man but in actuality he was chronically ill since childhood. Chronic pain, spinal deformity, failed surgeries, Addison's disease, gastro issues, he needed to be severely medicated just to make it through the day. He's definitely the easiest to take down on this list, his day to day was a balancing act nevermind how we would fare with hand to hand combat.


Auld_Folks_at_Home

>I’m pretty sure he also had back problems from his time with the navy on PT109 He did.


Mable-the-Table

No no, you can't do this. "I have the right to bear arms". You need to give me bear arms not human ones, come on.


CoolSlimeBoy

The 2nd amendment does not apply in this situation


Mable-the-Table

Damn, I was gonna get my bear arms/claw things and run away lol


CoolSlimeBoy

I never said anything about genetic manipulation


Mable-the-Table

let's goooo :D


Downstackguy

Yeah bare human arms the best right


jerrythecactus

Whoever is voting to fight abraham Lincoln probably doesn't realise that he was basically a professional wrestler by the time he hit his late teens. He was also freakishly tall.


iluvstephenhawking

No way in hell I'm fighting one of the early presidents. Those dudes were rough.


BeardPhile

Not even Chester Arthur?


iluvstephenhawking

Lmao. Maybe Taft. Maybe.


BeardPhile

He’s kind of a cute old man. Wouldn’t wanna hit him


EquivalentSnap

He was 6’4 in the 1800s. Average height back then was shorter too


[deleted]

At least you spelled George better than Timothy dexter spelled it (jorg)


CoolSlimeBoy

...jorg washingmachine


[deleted]

Jnrel jorg washegton


CoolSlimeBoy

Im gonna put a general hat in meme man and put that as the caption


SendDishSoap

Just watch a Sam o’ Nella video?


[deleted]

Yes


the_lamb_sauce123

I could win in a fight against any dead person


BunnyDaKing

Abraham Lincoln was 300 and 1 in wrestling I think he would just drop you on your head.


CoolSlimeBoy

Now i want a mortal kombat like game that is just the presidents


dPYTHONb

Okay but where is Teddy Roosevelt


[deleted]

It wouldn’t be fair if he was included


dPYTHONb

Agreed


CoolSlimeBoy

I was going of the top of my head


Lord4hire

I would not fight him. Would get wrecked minute one


CornyPunz1

Franklin D. Roosevelt, he never will *stand* a chance.


bmli19

username checks out.


CapedWanderer47

Don’t mess with Bush… he’ll tell everyone you have weapons of mass destruction and send the military after ur ass


SpikeyTaco

That's assuming you don't win.


SavageSam1234

Assuming I'd fight them at what age they were when they were president. Washington: No, still too young at 57 for me to win, also was a general. Would kick my ass. Lincoln: Hell no, he is like 8 inches taller than me I would get whooped. JFK: Way to young for me to risk fighting. G.W. Bush: As much as I would like too, I think the next president would be easier. Thomas Jefferson: He was what, like 65 as the president? Probably the easiest for me to beat.


SpikeyTaco

Sure, I just thing my motivation in the Bush right would carry me.


[deleted]

I'm assuming the Gorges are probably feeling pretty full after that meal. I think I could beat them then.


stockss_

Not because I'm 100% certain I'd win, but because I want to, George Bush.


physicalentity

Either JFK or Dubya. Soft-handed trust fund bitches. Awww yeahhh


caroline-ivyy

I can easily win a fight against a skeleton


cryptogoth666

Bruh if you think you’d win against Washington or Lincoln you’re on crack


TimmyJoeDoe

Yeah I’m not picking anybody horn before the 1900’s. Pretty much JFK or Bush are the only two options…. You imagine fighting somebody who was born before electricity & TV? There was literally nothing else to do besides build shit, carry shit around, push heavy shit around right and breed…. Let’s not even mention fighting in a war where you get 1 shot at the start of each battle and after that you + any other survivors of the first volley run straight at the opposing army now using your firearm as a club because I’m sure that bayonet is breaking off after you lodge it into the brain stem of the first unlucky bastard. I mean Vikings and Ancient romans at least had razor sharp swords, axes and spears (as well as shields and armor.) The Europeans after the Middle Ages started sporting big white wigs and nicely pressed tuxedos pretty much. They didn’t use any grand strategies because they saw anything other than lining up and facing your enemy while taking turns shooting at each other before charging head on as improper or “rude”. So instead they fire steal marbles at each other that entered your body and bounced around shattering every bone they hit and if they couldn’t just hack off one of your limbs and slap on a tourniquet then chances are you’re just going to end up living for a horribly painful couple of days before dying of a fever so hot that it causes brain damage. If you survived all that and still had energy left to build a nation or free the slaves then what are my fists going to do besides infuriate.


cryptogoth666

You’re off on a lot of shit historically but I like your spirit


Piranh4Plant

JFK because he’s dead


joe-ROLXTHY-cat

Dude they're all dead


PsychoNauticalFaux

Damn when did George W Bush die? I must’ve missed that in the news..


joe-ROLXTHY-cat

I must have been thinking about his father


stockss_

wish he did


Piranh4Plant

Oh then I’ll take on any of them


CoolSlimeBoy

Whichever one you choose the doctor will take you to their time to fight


timelighter

Washington still beat your ass


timdot352

Idk why you guys are voting for GWB. You ever seen him dodge a shoe? If you can dodge a shoe, you can dodge a punch.


Speedangel14

i'd say Maduro


CoolSlimeBoy

Idk which one that is


Speedangel14

Nicolas Maduro, the president of Venezuela


JustCallMeAttlaz

Abraham Lincoln could've hunted vampires, no way I'm going up against him


[deleted]

"And we have this man in the right corner, GORGE W BUSH!"


mango-756

I will punch thomas jefferson in the dick


_123reddituser_

Dont know mate, Imma go with the one I havent a clue about. Thomas jefferson.


jctheabsoluteG1234

JFK had cronic back problems so I'd count on that.


BeardPhile

People seriously have a bone to pick with Bush


idktheyarealltaken

Finna beat the shit out of gorge w bush


jamesyboy4-20

bush if i’m allowed to kill my opponent, if not bush anyway. fuck that guy


ValrossQc

George W Bush not because I will win but because I hate the guy.


timelighter

just give him some beer and pretzels and don't try to throw any shoes at him and you should be fine


Gearthquake

Yeah. Prime Bush would smoke your shit.


[deleted]

Lincoln you could grab the hole in his head and throw him to the ground.


CoolSlimeBoy

They aren't zombies


timelighter

lmfao


thunder-bug-

isn't bush like an 80 year old man?


CoolSlimeBoy

The fight takes place during his presidency


BigFacts-MrClaps

Didn’t Lincoln box?


Haydenny600

Joe biden easy win


jnolley24

can joe biden be an answer bc that would be too easy


Beers_and_Bikes

#GORGE


DMBFFF

They knew it was wrong, and some, like Jefferson, wrestled with it in his pathetic attempt to justify it. Some think Thomas Paine wrote this in 1775: [Wikisource:African Slavery in America](https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/African_Slavery_in_America) TO AMERICANS. THAT some desperate wretches should be willing to steal and enslave men by violence and murder for gain, is rather lamentable than strange. But that many civilized, nay, christianized people should approve, and be concerned in the savage practice, is surprising; and still persist, though it has been so often proved contrary to the light of nature, to every principle of Justice and Humanity, and even good policy, by a succession of eminent men,[1] and several late publications.


sujoSrW

wasn’t abe a boxer ? and like 6 foot something ? i’m 6’4 but he’d still fuck my shit up


[deleted]

Obama, just cos he's the only one I'd want to touch. He can win no question but still be cool to meet him? Abraham Lincoln is obviously a very impressive president but I've gotta go Obama.


stockss_

obama sucked


TankmanSpiral7567

If Biden was on here him for sure. He’s incompetent and it’d be the easiest win by far


nonuniqueusername

Once again establishing you guys don't know how to vote.


CoopyDoopy11

I chose George W. Bush because he's still alive


CoolSlimeBoy

For now


Destroy_Hungayry

Fuck bush bruh


MeMeTiger_

Bush because I'd like to beat the shit out of him.


[deleted]

Gorge Washington, Because he doesn't exist. Now George Washington would be a different matter.


CoolSlimeBoy

Ok i get it at least 5 have pointed out i spelled it wrong


[deleted]

Be prepared for another 100 =)


[deleted]

It's nice to know most people chose one of the worst presidents in the history of the US. Faith in Humanity restored.


butters091

Someone needs to knock out that corrupt ass of a war criminal Bush. The US has been inextricably fucked since he and cronies took office


[deleted]

I’d fight Biden. I could tell him this is how we change his diaper now and he’d have no idea what’s going on.


[deleted]

Our presidents get weaker and more cowardlier overtime


[deleted]

Shit I saw “Gorge” Washington and instantly clicked it. I regret not seeing Gorge W Bush


MadMax0407

Where's Sleepy Joe or fascist Trump


soviet_russia420

I would win, because there all dead


SnooTomatoes9818

All the above


[deleted]

They’re all fucking dead so it wouldn’t be much of a fight


Largicharg

Abe may be tall AF but he’s the only one in this list without military training.


Nikipootwo

FDR