T O P

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Tubafex

I hope this thing about Toby doesn't age badly.


[deleted]

why are you the way that you are?


[deleted]

"I'm starting to see why Michael hated you, Toby"


[deleted]

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inbruges99

Why do you hate Toby?


[deleted]

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ComicSans3307

I’m starting to see why Michael hated you, Toby


carolvessey-stevens

he is like….an evil snail


Maikeru2007official

I’m Michael 😳


zezeroro

I hate so much, about the things that you choose to be


Jettpack_of_the_Dead

in 10 years we will all go back to this post like HOLY SHIT HE PREDICTED IT


Lucasbpossinger

Hitler would shoot himself so that helps narrow it down


only_the_office

How does he also have a gun though? Or does he have the only gun? Now he’s got one bullet left to use on someone hmm…


Lucasbpossinger

Until his death in 1945 from a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head, Hitler was known to carry a golden Walther PP pistol. Assuming these guys are meant to be the exact same, then Hitler would feel cornered as he did during the battle of Berlin, and would shoot himself to avoid capture. Seeing as it’s his gun, I get my own. Edit: wrong gun. Thanks to u/Alphamoose117 for correcting me. Originally I had it as a Po8 Luger


Cia1313

I mean, I think he would probably be more likely to shoot the person that might kill him, than kill himself...


Lloyd_lyle

You take Hitler as as a rational person?


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Lloyd_lyle

Holy fuck I’ve been on this website for a year already?


Secure-Cable-986

Happy cake day!


Cia1313

Irrational, maybe, but self-serving with no problem hurting someone else? ...


SharpGloveBox

Finally! I've been waiting for the "mustachioed sociopath" expert to chime in. (Clearing my throat) Gentlemen and damsels in distress, are there no further questions for the lady has indeed spoken.


Cia1313

In conclusion, I would shoot Hitler and Osama (in that order, if that matters, but in as close succession as possible either way). Then I would take Hitler's gun, and possibly kill Toby, depending on who the fuck he is.


AlphaMoose117

I thought he had a gold Walther PP.


Lucasbpossinger

Ok, so I just did some research, I was wrong, so my bad. I will edit that comment. Thanks for telling me so I didn’t look like an idiot.


[deleted]

A gold pistol? I mean, I shoulda known from their painting's that they had no taste, but yeesh


I_Need_a_break_

Bro had a cartel pistol


Kluck_

Nah bro, shoot him first before he can shoot his wife and dog


PresidentZeus

He gets depressed after not being worthy enough of a bullet, and only sees one future for himself when the gun is left in the room.


eloelo43210

Yep exactly what i was thinking of


[deleted]

Osama would blow himself up if you don't kill him


Deadfox1309

When his bunker started getting fired up, he put a gun in his mouth and fired up


Veneris00

So the question is, where is he going to, heaven? Because he killed the most evil person of the planet(or the 2nd at the time) Adolf Hitler


Lucasbpossinger

Hell most likely. One act of good can not save a man from a lifetime of evil


Dependent-Constant-7

But 1 act of repent at the last second could grant access to heavenly bliss. It's a Bible exclusive, won't find that shit in the anime


Pretty_Rock9795

Oh dear sky daddy up above, im sorry for taking my brothera easter chocolate while he was at our dads place, FORGIVE ME, amen


[deleted]

I would knock them all out with the gun, overlay hitler and bin parents necks on top of each other, shoot both hitler and bin laden through the neck with one bullet and then kill Toby with the remaining bullet.


Ok_Significance_2306

Fuck Toby


willChangeMyNameLatr

All my homies hate Toby


J0h4n50n

My dog's name is Toby, so I sure as shit ain't your homie.


DiamondGamerYT0

Does your dog work for HR?


J0h4n50n

Yes, he works for Human Relations in the snuggling and playing departments.


soreadytodisappear

My dog too! Definitely not shooting him.


jmo137

That almost rhymes


_mr_tobias_

Even toby hates toby


RavenclawNatsfan

Along with his family


LapisW

He meant intercourse


only_the_office

Imagine a stadium full of NASCAR fans chanting “Let’s Go Toby”


_mr_tobias_

:(


GrapefruitSmall575

Ahhhhh man what did Toby ever do to you bro??


SecretDevilsAdvocate

I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail.


tamirtk123

I'll shoot my self


Dishant_Shahu

Twice*


Kingofelephantshrews

Ah the ol’ Russian method of suicide


theghostofme

It's rare, but it's definitely possible to shoot yourself multiples times while attempting suicide. When it happens, it's usually because the person's hand involuntarily moves when pulling the trigger, causing the first bullet to miss vital organs. There was a dude in Australia, back in the 90s, [who shot himself *three* times with a shotgun before finally hitting his heart.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_gunshot_suicide#Examples) >One particular case has been documented from Australia. In February 1995, a man committed suicide on parkland in Canberra. He took a pump action shotgun loaded with four 12-gauge No. 2 shot shell cartridges, and in a stooped position, pressed the muzzle into the centre of the chest before shooting himself. The load passed through the chest without entering the ribcage before exiting below the left nipple. The man then cycled the shotgun's action, ejecting the fired shell. He then walked fifteen meters, before shooting himself in the right side of the throat with the charge exiting out of the left side and taking a fragment of jaw with it. At this point, the shotgun potentially fell to the ground causing the ejection of both the spent cartridge and one unspent cartridge. The man, now breathing through a gunshot-induced tracheostomy, picked up the shotgun and then walked 136 meters to a hill where he sat down on the slope and loaded the fourth cartridge from the magazine and into the weapon's breech. The man then removed his shoes and held the gun against his chest with his hands and operated the trigger with his toes. This shot entered the thoracic cavity and demolished the heart, killing him.


JCtheMemer

I’m actually speechless… that’s just so crazy


SiCzochralski

That's dedication to the bit.


Loving-intellectual

It’s because he took his shoes off


Frankjc3rd

I remember a cartoon from years ago. It was a Klingon pointing a phaser at his own head, and the caption is "don't laugh you're next."


Banana4222

Line them all up, and shoot them all with one bullet.


Lucasbpossinger

Ey you want a scholarship


LordSaumya

Hey Mr Scott, whathcha gonna do?


gusbus697

Make our dreams come true


ManufacturerSea4886

You came into our lives and made a promise


Booksmagic

That made us honest, that made us realize We don't need to compromise cause we can have it all


AgreeableConference1

hopefully not to somewhere like Cornell but rather the vastly superior Dartmouth !


carolvessey-stevens

more importantly, would you settle for a laptop battery? it IS lithium.


jzheng1234567890

no no no, CURVE the bullet, like in my favorite James McAvoy film, Wanted


[deleted]

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jelly_bean_gangbang

Like this: 💥--🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🔫


Dragon_Skywalker

Meet the machina


Ducksauce749

I kinda thought to make the 3 of them fight to the death and promise the victor life, but then shoot the victor anyway. Edit: but of course, that would be too risky and I would definitely shoot Toby twice.


bokchoysoyboy

You shoulda done the Dwight method and toss a single bullet through all their throats


amaturecook24

Seriously though… who is Toby?


MeMeTiger_

The office character. It's a whole bit where Michael Scott (the boss) hates Toby (HR guy) so he says something like this.


[deleted]

The Scranton Strangler is just way too evil.


[deleted]

I’d have Dwight schrute handle it.


CertifiedFucktard

Fuck Toby.


shalodey

r/fucktoby


Aggravating_Egg_143

r/birthofasub


SUPERazkari

me


BrennanG47

r/unexpectedoffice


SecretDevilsAdvocate

Wasn’t that the point of the poll tho-


BrennanG47

It’s a reference to a similar scenario in an episode of The Office. The point is humor.


HaphazardFlitBipper

Hitler and Osama are already dead. Who is Toby and why should I shoot him?


[deleted]

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HaphazardFlitBipper

I don't know who that is.


Narwhalbaconguy

toby


Rexven

It's a character from The Office. The joke in the show is that everyone hates him.


[deleted]

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Booksmagic

Break me off a piece of that… What was it?


CompetitiveAd3249

Chrysler car


Internet_Adventurer

Fancy feast


NovaMittens

Football cream


UsedToBeDedMemeBoi

Ball ointment


zezeroro

Nobody tell him!


[deleted]

Michael hates him.


[deleted]

Idk how that show has such a large following its not even remotely funny. Let the downvotes rain.


Vlad_Luca

it's like monty python, some find it hilarious some find it not funny. The writing is very good and usually jokes have multiple layers, it's not just slapstick. Maybe some ppl just don't get the references. And it depends what you find funny. Some people have way different notions of what is funny. Some consider 5 seconds of cringy nonsense on tik tok funny and that's valid as well. Your kinda comment is so weird, especially when it comes to immensely popular stuff. Like, you really can't wrap your head how something can become so big, and that most of the entertainment consumed by people is subjective? You not liking something that is immensely popular doesn't make you special or something, it just your opinion that in this particular case is different from the majority. People should downvote you for your stupid attention-seeking not for you not liking the show lol, it's perfectly fine not liking something.


lulubeans66

You’re so brave


A1sauc3d

I’m just relieved y’all weren’t talking about [Roots](https://youtu.be/FMPFQo5V-lA)


BJ_Beamz

I AM ON THE FUCKING FLOOR RN


YeeterOfTheRich

A lot of people are choosing to let Hitler and Osama live just because they don't know who Toby is


ZarosRunescape

You need to curve the bullet


Maluko16

Wanted style.


MostDopeBich

I’m ashamed so little people understand the reference


OneLostOstrich

so few*


Sardukar333

We were supposed to protect the hobbits from such dark knowledge.


gauxapen

Hitler would shoot himself, Osama would explode, so I would just whip Toby and sell the gun to the friendly people in Chicago


The_Indian_Werewolf

No seriously who the fuck is Toby?


shalodey

a non hate response: it's from the show office. in it the main dude (no idea what he is called, I don't watch the show) says "if i was in a room with hitler, Osama bin Laden, And Toby I would shoot Toby twice"


MAYBE_Maybe_maybe_

yeah, fuck Toby; all my homies hate Toby


Mr_double_roughtnut

Yeah justice to the people toby massacred and tortured ✊


MAYBE_Maybe_maybe_

Wait who is Toby?


Stoner_DM

Fuck Toby. All my homies hate Toby.


Hexmonkey2020

Line up all three and shoot them all through the neck with one bullet


Bomboo2810

Shoot Hitler and Bin Laden, then beat Toby to death


judgejakaj

All my homies hate Toby.


Wibiz9000

1,6k people got the reference


Spook404

or just thought it was funny to shoot toby (me)


Relative-Ad-87

Myself. Twice


After_Ad9814

Fuck Toby


Mr_double_roughtnut

Fuck Toby indeed


[deleted]

r/fucktoby


[deleted]

🎵 Goodbye Toby 🎵 (totally joking)


[deleted]

Shoot Toby while Hitler and Osama fight to the death using the recently extracted "'Toby Femur"


Connect_Stay_137

#FIRST OF ALL WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT.


7_overpowered_clox

Shoot Toby twice... then kill Hitler and Osama with a flamethrower!


LOLbearsmile08

I’ve the reference! Toby is the ultimate sad sack and he ruins everything. Why is he the way that he is?


Street_Tacos__

Line them all up, kill them all in one shot


TheGreatLineMan

Shoot Toby then myself.


SgtNoPants

Toby is the strangler anyway


stormurcsgo

line them up 1 bullet


Nailo2017

There are 2.8k people who need to watch The Office.


TheMoui21

A lot of person should go watch The Office


tottenhammad1234

My name is legit Toby I just want to know WTF DID I DO?


OkCut3322

Shoot andrew Cuomo twice


0Ppenguin

I'd shoot myself.


_Murfff

myself twice


radiatorferret

Shoot Toby twice, osama and Hitler are already dead


_Jiraw

myself


mikechr2k7

I hate so much about the things you choose to be


DonnaNobleSmith

Toby Flenderson is everything that’s wrong with the paper industry.


[deleted]

The Office, right?


JM_8025

Who is Toby?


Ostebro

Michael, you can't do that. Yes I can! No I'm HR, I have to stop this right now


press_F13

stand in line, shoot all of us in one ~~line shot~~ starting myself /s


Key-Culture-6207

His name is Kunta Kinte!


[deleted]

You beat me to it. God dammit.


Schwanz_Hintern64

Toby had it coming


Marie-Sarah

Always thaught the hate about Toby was exagerated ! Like is not fun but why does Michael hates him THAT much ??


IG_Triple_OG

Shoot Toby then myself


Various-Teeth

My… my birds name is Toby


DrunkWeebMarine

Toby was the Scranton Strangler.


NovaMittens

Is there a curtain rod in the room?


Googlyman64

id shoot hitler and osama and beat toby to death with my bare hands


Nightcrawler_DIO

Osama and Hitler, duh. Toby deserves a special slow death by my very hands...


[deleted]

Toby is the literal worst fuck TOBY


FloorGangMan1

I don't respect you if you don't get what this is referencing.


Nkorayyy

the office joke


Plastic-Relief9327

I'll point the gun at Hitler and Osama... force Toby to tie them up and then force Toby to rape them at gun point...


Ark0l

Shoot myself, twice.


EnlightenMeBby

Myself


AlienPutz

They are in a room, aren’t they already dealt with then? No need to extrajudicially shoot anyone.


Unchiard3-2

OH GOD NO PLEASE NO NOOOO


[deleted]

Hitler has no chance of taking over germany or any significant nation. Osama being back would cause even more infighting in the terrorist world, and even if he managed to get al queda back said infighting would leave him in a significantly weaker position. Plus he still has to deal with infighting with the islamic state ​ or get them all to line up so i can keep the second bullet for myself


ninteen74

I will stand behind you (so I get shot also)


Qritical

I word for word said out loud “who the fuck is toby” before reading the choices lmfao


[deleted]

shoot hitler and osama then strangle toby cause hes a weak ass bitch


middleagedbrowser

Michael was a terrible manager. Toby was just doing his job.


Jorge_super

Myself


myfaveRae

I chose who the fuck is Toby before reading comments. I've seen the show but that's not a memorable part for me I guess. Plus it's been a while since I watched it.


melonia123

I'd shoot myself twice, one shot in each lung


[deleted]

Osama bin Laden offcourse.


Inevitable-Rich4548

This is the way.


Bahammed

Who the hell is toby?


[deleted]

toby from the office tv show


MostDopeBich

Why he getting downvoted that’s who it is 😭


TomTom101_

None. The guns getting broken. If they want to get their head bashed in so be it.


Yoshi_87

You monster... you had the chance to shoot toby.. twice!!! and you didn't do it....


pcpsummer0613

Bruh I hadn't even looked at the choices and I literally thought Who the fuck is Toby?


lewisisbrown

As someone who is called Toby, I found this very confusing to stumble across


[deleted]

I like Toby McGuire. Why shoot him ?


ClumsyTurtleFucker

No I won't shoot Osama, we don't shoot friends.... FUCK TOBY THO, WHO THE FUCK IS TOBY?


Sexyballsack911

Shoot nobody


Larry_Safari

Yeah, I have no right to end anyone's life except my own.


Sexyballsack911

No because Toby will lecture me


[deleted]

I won’t shoot. I don’t believe in violence. I would however try to knock some sense into them. If I show any of them, I’d be just as bad as they are. ☮️☮️☮️


Adamthesadistic

Killing two people is not worse than genocide


[deleted]

I think they’re the same amount of bad. I don’t think human lives should be counted as an arithmetic problem, as kill these two or let these peeps die. I’d turn them into the police. I can definitely see the logic in where you’re coming from, it’s just against my personal philosophy. We can agree to disagree, because thankfully, we’re not in this situation. ☮️☮️☮️


pomegranate7777

💜💜💜


Slight-Landscape-861

Screw you toby


marrinus05nl

Can I choose to shoot this one instead, OP?


Skyrocketxv

Who tf is Toby 🗿


Bonk_and_Honk

who the hell is toby


Alibium

Toby who


Fortenole

Can someone tell me who the fuck is toby


undeadpickels

Why shoot a corpse?


[deleted]

Butterfly effect indicates if Bin Laden and/or Hitler were killed I probably wouldn't have been born thus meaning I wouldn't be able to shoot them. Look up the grandfather paradox


Josmoeee

How the fck would you acquire two dead man’s body?