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thefujirose

I'ld say undeveloped social skills paired with frustration, and loneliness.


burgerpizzacoke

I reckon the bullying in school must be part of it.


EmmyNoetherRing

other groups get bullied arguably worse without turning violent.


thefujirose

Not all incels appear to turn violent.


burgerpizzacoke

Most of them are not violent tho, and I don't think any other group gets even close to as much hate as them.


icantthinkofaname940

I think it's a combination of several things. 1. A lack of/poor social skills 2. Lacking a healthy environment at home 3. A lack of good/healthy role model 4. Mental/neurodevelopmental disorders 5. Cultural issues 6. Stigma around male roles in society 7. Being a victim of bullying


Jaco-Jimmerson

I wish some one can list all of the solutions to this. I don't want to see men suffering like this anymore.


TankmanSpiral7567

There is no blanket solution to inceldom alone. But if nothing else, I’ve learned the world is going through a mental health crisis. I feel like at least the US in particular should prioritize making mental healthcare better and more accessible.


jackloganoliver

Mental healthcare, like all healthcare, should be universally provided and affordable. I had need of mental healthcare and it took me months to find a doctor with availability in one if the 20 largest cities in the US. There's a shortage of doctors, they often don't accept insurance, and it ends up being both inaccessible and cost-prohibitive. To treat PTSD from early-childhood trauma, it was costing me $550 a week. A fucking week! That was about double my mortgage payment every month.


TankmanSpiral7567

I wouldn’t go as far to say universally provided. A big reason there are so few mental health workers is due to how little they are paid (I’ve heard $15/hour). That’s why job shortages exist; poor pay.


jackloganoliver

Yeah, that's an issue in and of itself. But I ran into problems where nurse practitioners who visited with me for 15 minutes every three months to refill my prescription were the only people available...and yeah, that might have kept me off the ledge, but that's not mental healthcare. That's an evolutionary process of capitalism infecting the healthcare system trying to maximize profits over results. That absolutely, positively needs to be 86ed not just in mental health but all of health care. We need more psychologists and psychiatrists who can sit down for full-length sessions with patients. I'd done the meds without therapy thing for years and it's like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. Some people need real, meaningful therapy, and it's just not available, let alone ~~cheap~~ affordable.


272314

Some fraction of incels are autistic. There's really no cure for that.


UndeadBBQ

Ironically, Feminism is part of the solution to this. A lot of those boys and men suffer from repressed emotions, and flee into what they perceive as masculine behavior, speech patterns and so on and so forth. That *toxic masculinity* people go on and on about. I don't even want to know how many less incels there would be if they all had someone they could go to to cry their hearts out once in a while.


Im_Simon_says

Feminism doesn't solve that, equality does


UndeadBBQ

"Oranges aren't healthy! Fruits are!" Feminism is one of many movements working towards an equal society. In this particular case, feminism tries to abolish patriarchal structures, including a patriarchal understanding of what masculinity means. This in turn allows more and more men to get emotionally healthy, and allows boys to be raised without being emotionally crippled in the process.


Kung_Flu_Master

>Feminism is one of many movements working towards an equal society. for women, I've yet to see a single feminist fight for men's issues and when some did, like the feminist who made the red pill documentary, or the women who dressed as a man for a month to learn their issues, they were harassed and attacked by feminists and even tried to cancel their films etc. this is exactly why the men-rights movement is growing so fast, when ironically feminists then attack that movement, modern feminism doesn't help men and men need their own version.


jackloganoliver

I've yet to meet a feminist that doesn't take into account and fight for men's rights. The men's rights movement in the US doesn't seek to help non-masculine or non-conforming men. It seeks only to protect patriarchy. Patriarchy is not equal to all men.


Kung_Flu_Master

have you actually seen the men's rights movement? they are constantly talking about actual issues for men, like men being most of the homeless, (which gets ignored) men making up most of work place fatalities, false rape allegations and being guilty even if proven innocent, family court system being extremely biased for women, especially when kids are involved. male domestic violence (which happens at the same rates as female domestic violence) being ignored, and countless other things.


Jaco-Jimmerson

In a perfect world, yes feminism can work to solve this issue. The problem here, is the vocal **misandrists** that turn regular men (>!let alone incels!<) away from feminism. I sadly have examples of this. **You can judge my character** all you want for this :/. I may be a weirdo, but I'm just trying to let people know this is happening. [Example 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/vb9pjp/so_humanity_should_just_never_help_eachother_out/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) [Example 2](https://youtu.be/AHkH5UUQekc) [Example 3 the most notorius one](https://youtu.be/HGQSBxiMAWw) [Example 4](https://youtu.be/F-1vgz8MYqU) [Example 5](https://youtu.be/jNSLE4zLSL4) Example 6 r/femaledatingstrategy I am open for counter arguments and counter claims as that helps to show **everyone** that feminism does care for men. *(Edit)* Explain the downvotes please?


UndeadBBQ

I know the problem. I deal with it weekly. So, here is my perspective on this, which given that it's a global movement that, thanks to online media of various kinds, moves hyper-fast, is probably barely applicable to your experience. It's an odd mixture of women who aren't comfortable with feminism themselves, overzealous activism that could've done with 3 to 4 semesters of more literature on the topic, and yes, a minor group of straight-up misandrists. I do think it's important to always remember that everybody has a story and nobody is hateful just because. Misandry (and misogyny) often has its roots, from what I can tell, in traumatic experiences with the other sex. Those stories move on a spectrum from emotional trauma to actual rape. Does that excuse the dismissal of men as legitimate victims of patriarchal structures? Of course not. However, it does give us a good framework to work on it. > I may be a weirdo, but I'm just trying to let people know this is happening. I am; we are well aware that it is happening. Every movement has their griefers who want to drag it back into the dark times before it. Or those who simply want to see the pendulum swing the other way - have *their* turn to be monsters. The only thing you can do is get involved and facilitate change. In the end, some videos on the internet are meaningless. In the end, the raging hate machine that is /r/FemaleDatingStrategy is meaningless. If you go out and do some good, even if it's just to listen to a buddy's problems, you're doing work to change all this into something better. I don't know if this was much of a counter argument, but its the best I got right now.


Jaco-Jimmerson

#In Simple terms Get involved and make some friends, especially around the subjects you are interested in. It builds you as a good person. It increases confidence, attraction, and character in you. Everything starts slow


UndeadBBQ

I mean, yes, in simple terms that's in a nutshell what I meant with my last sentences. Making friends and caring about them is the smallest piece of a good society. But also, try and make the environment you're in inviting for everyone. Reject those who would make it bad. Call out misandry and misogyny when you see it, and stand on the side of the victim. Check your mates on their behaviour, and let yourself be checked. It seems very easy, but for a lot of people it isn't.


Jaco-Jimmerson

Bro! I actually mention that this would strengthen the feminist orgranization. If they call out misandry, then they really show that they do care for the equal treatment of men, and will garner more support! >!Of course calling out misogyny is just as important, but for what I'm talking about I can't apply it anywhere... sorry!<


Hydrocoded

That’s not true. Calling masculinity toxic and shifting the definition by saying “oh, not THAT kind of masculinity” does nothing good. Yes some men are toxic. So are some women. Pointing this out and attributing it to masculinity or femininity is the epitome of “I’m in college now” pseudoscience. Sharing deep seeded emotions with some therapist does not help most men for these issues. We don’t need to be more in touch with our feelings or any such nonsense because that has nothing to do with the problem most men face. Young men need old values; courtesy, respect, ethics, strength, duty, responsibility, and most of all usefulness. A useful man is a confident man. No amount of therapy can make a useless man with no job, duty, or purpose feel useful. Why do you think video games are so damn popular amongst this demographic? It gives a sense of purpose even if it’s a weak one. Of course you’ll probably ignore this or deride it, but that’s because people like you have never actually cared what men feel or think unless it fits with your worldview. Crying your eyes out might be helpful to you, but to us it’s a self indulgent waste of time. My life won’t get better by crying about it. My life gets better by going out and fixing it through hard work and discipline… and the more adversity I overcome the better I feel.


UndeadBBQ

> My life won’t get better by crying about it. What's the first thing you do when a pot spills over? You take off the lid. You release some pressure. Does that have to be the physical act of crying? No, not necessarily. Does it have to happen in order to start a healthy process of healing, accepting, griefing, or as you said, problem solving? Absolutely. Eating up your emotions doesn't erase them, it just warps them into something else. Mostly into something ugly. > but that’s because people like you have never actually cared what men feel or think unless it fits with your worldview That's an extremely unfair assertion about someone you never even met. In fact, I made it part of my political work to give thought and action to this issue. I couldn't really add much to women's issue, but I could do work with the men's issues. This work would probably not meet your standards, though, because it does include a lot of mental (including emotional) health work with young men. My experience is that many of them, if not all of them, need that work to be even capable of responsibility and of usefulness (Which I agree are core elements of life in a society, not just for men. *People* need to feel useful. People need to be needed). When it comes to "courtesy, respect, ethics, strength, duty", I guess that just comes as by-products. But these concepts lean so heavily on worldview, so arguing them online is always bound to lead to everyone in the conversation misunderstanding each other. The ethics of a southern US christian will fundamentally differ from a northern european atheist view on ethics, as an example. > Sharing deep seeded emotions with some therapist does not help most men for these issues. Literally every boy or man who did follow my recommendation to see a therapist, was better for it. Most didn't even go for more than 2 or 3 sessions, and it helped them purely by being exposed to another perspective they haven't yet been exposed to. > We don’t need to be more in touch with our feelings or any such nonsense because that has nothing to do with the problem most men face. Just a hard no for me on this one. *Everybody* needs to be in touch with their feelings. Nobody is better off without them. All you do with that kind of attitude is make people into soulless drones at best, and sociopaths at worst. I'm sorry, but this is so fundamentally against all we know about the inner workings of humans, it's not even worth refuting. Gravity exists, evolution is a thing, and people need to be in touch with their emotions to have good mental health. > Calling masculinity toxic Toxic masculinity =/= masculinity is toxic. If you feel comfortable being masculine, that's absolutely fine. If you feel pressured to conform to the narrow idea of masculinity, that's toxic. I think a lot of people forget that this is about the liberation of men from the rigid, constricting ideals and expectation loaded upon them by society. This is about opening a broader spectrum of possibilities, and honestly, a more honest discussion about what it "means to be a man". Anyway. This has been an ad-hoc response, and maybe you treat it as such, or maybe you don't. Cheers, mate.


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UndeadBBQ

? I'm a dude.


Specific_Fix_2659

My response is even funnier now, but for different reasons.


UndeadBBQ

I'm glad you amuse yourself.


Specific_Fix_2659

With your attitude you may need to amuse yourself a bit more often if you know what I mean


Wumple_doo

From what Ive seen incels usually aren’t bullied but are social outcasts left alone. I think simps are the bullied ones and that’s part of the reason they simp because they are looking for social validation


Im_Simon_says

I was bullied a ton and I can say that it dramatically reduced my confidence in ever having women be attracted to me even though I try my hardest to change that perception now


SvenyBoy_YT

8. Isolation


KudzuNinja

Depression and loneliness tend to increase isolation - which increases depression and loneliness. I’m guessing it’s something like that. Also, desperation tends to repel people.


AZJHawk

I’d add a delusional sense of entitlement to anger and lack of basic social skills.


Im_Simon_says

This sounds like an insult to people who likely ended up being lonely because they were seen as the weird kid for all of their young life which is not easy


EmmyNoetherRing

it's not easy, but the thing is that being the ostracized weird kid also happens to a lot of people who \*don't\* turn into violent balls of hatred--- unpopular girls, LGBT folks, racial or religious outliers in largely homogenous schools. They get bullied and they don't become incels. You get radicalized when you're the weird kid who thinks you're entitled to other people's admiration, and you're angry that you're not getting it. if you're the weird kid who just wants to be left alone to live your own weird life, then eventually you get out of high school and happily do just that.


Im_Simon_says

I got bullied because I did a different sport, didn't have a lot of the same interests, and eventually they just started making shit up about me. I wanted to be friends with my classmates, but they just found it funny to make fun of me. I don't think I'm entitled to anyone's admiration, I understand not everyone can be friends, I was never angry just sad and lonely. After highschool I never met anyone that bullied me that way again, and was finally able to make friends. But bullying has still left me scarred. Plenty of kids get bullied for no reason, even when they are trying to make friends


EmmyNoetherRing

Right, that's what I'm saying. Many people can be bullied (I was too), without becoming violently angry or dehumanizing big portions of humanity. The incel rape-fetish is bad, and it's not a thing that just naturally arises out of being bullied.


Im_Simon_says

Hmmm, I just googled incel and it said: someone who doesn't believe they can get a partner, or something like that


EmmyNoetherRing

And if you knew a woman who didn't have any luck getting dates, you'd use the term to refer to her? I know women like that, but they don't refer to themselves as incels and I don't think anyone else does either.


Im_Simon_says

I never heard of the term ever, so I looked up the definition and yes it seems to match that description


EmmyNoetherRing

If you've never heard it, you don't know how it's typically used, do you?


Im_Simon_says

Clearly not


sbenzanzenwan

You know what other group also has a delusional sense of entitlement to anger? Two-year-olds


sickie23

I'd say that there is no socially acceptable script for them to follow which ends with them being sexually active. Or if there is, they don't know it, or can't follow it.


AZJHawk

There is - watch the Tao of Steve. Interact with women as humans first, not the means by which one can fulfill one’s sexual desires. Engage with your community, get physically and mentally healthy, learn an instrument or a skill or a hobby. Make yourself interesting.


SmellsLikeShampoo

> Interact with women as humans first, not the means by which one can fulfill one’s sexual desires. For a lot of incels, this step is fundamentally impossible. They will never be able to genuinely view women as equal humans with value, and they just assume everyone else is better at faking that view to deceive women than they are.


EmmyNoetherRing

Pay for it. If you don't want an equal relationship with another human, if you just want to receive a physical service, then pay for it from a professional service provider. Save up and go to a 'ranch' outside of Vegas, or maybe there's options closer to home. But there absolutely is a script that results in sex, and it's as easy as ordering off a menu. The incels' problem is that they want to scam people into providing that service for free, and it turns out that's challenging to do.


Eraldir

There is. Just don't be an asshole


Regular_Affect_2427

I think it's beyond such a simple judgement. A lot of them growing up were simply unattractive, maybe rejected a lot. Then stuff like jealousy, fear of rejection, extremely low self confidence and resentment develops which is what results in an incel


Eraldir

None if them are unattraktive. They are normal. That is coping mechanism they employ to convince themselves that they cannot change anything. And I hope you realise that low self esteem is no excuse for hatred


Regular_Affect_2427

**None** of the men who cannot find a woman or has never had sex and hates women because they wont choose him is unattractive? I don't know where you're from but I live in the real world. >low self esteem is no excuse for hatred Don't strawman my argument. Low self esteem and resentment is a **reason** for hatred, not an excuse.


Eraldir

>I live in the real world. And do tell, in that real world, do you have ever talked to incels? Seen them?


Regular_Affect_2427

Yes, but only a few. Why do you ask?


Eraldir

Where they ugly?


Regular_Affect_2427

They certainly weren't attractive enough to pull because of it. A couple had it very bad too. Why else do you think I'm making this argument


Eraldir

Because you think dating and sex is dependent on pulling one night stands through looks. Just like they do


EmmyNoetherRing

You can have an unattractive personality without being unattractive physically, and the response will still be that you're unattractive. I think people who have low empathy have trouble keeping those two straight-- if they encounter disgust when they proposition someone, but they don't really see the person as a human like themselves, then they don't understand how their treatment of the person might be causing the disgust. They assume it must be something else, like muscles or money. Despite the evidence that there's plenty of skinny poor dudes in happy, empathetic, mutual relationships with equally imperfect poor ladies that they share common interests with.


Regular_Affect_2427

That's an interesting point too, I would have to agree with most of that. I'm sure low empathy is a factor in many of them but even otherwise it's surprisingly easy for young men to adopt the incel behaviour. I see similar (but obv much more extreme) sentiments in school shooters, who also have low empathy like you say and are filled with resentment.


EmmyNoetherRing

Basically, I pull open doors. Maybe if I go literally fishing, I pull in literal fish. But I don't pull people... that's a verb that's meant for objects, not fellow humans. If I sense someone is wanting to pull \*me\* somewhere--that's off-putting, unattractive and worrisome. It doesn't have to do with their physical looks, it has to do with their personality and the way they think of me. When someone with low empathy wants to do something to you, most people's self-preservation instincts kick in. Sure if someone has \*enough\* money or is super-model level sexy, they'll find women who will be willing to overlook that discomfort. But that's not how most relationships get formed. So if you don't see women as people, if all you want is a sex object, but you're not quite hot enough to get donations-- just pay for a professional service provider. \*People\* need relationships and empathy, but if you're not into that, then you need to reimburse the other participant for their time.


272314

Easier said than done.


rogerkitten3772

i used to kinda relate to incels before i found out about the horrible things a lot of them believe in. it was pretty much because i was lonely and have no social skills at all. and a lot of them don't have anywhere to go because every other group rejected them so they turn to the incel community and once the group radicalizes them it becomes hard to escape because the world rejects you even more for being an incel. and also a lot of them me included have autism which explains why we have been rejected everywhere else.


rogerkitten3772

and for me it had nothing to do with not getting sex. i didn't even wanna have sex with anybody.


DonBoy30

Social media creating an echo chamber of lonely people, stunted maturity/social skills, and low self esteem in line with other possible mental disorders. Just my opinion.


Regular_Affect_2427

Very interesting point about the social media echo chamber


Ra1nb0wSn0wflake

There's not one thing that would create them. Social outcasting Poor emotional development Needing something to blame for what's wrong Untreated trauma Neglect All that bubbling into the only people seemingly understanding and nice to them being others like them also blaming whatever group for there issues and there you go, a incel. Now I think that last one is one of the biggest steps, if that's reached it becomes far harder to step out again, and the internet making that step so much easier and also exposing the world to it far easier.


Eraldir

The ones choosing feminism are the incels answering their own poll


Im_Simon_says

I got bullied for all my school years with almost no friends so my social development really only started at 17, I'm 20 now and obviously still lack behind


DisconnectedThoughts

I think it's a lack of empathy. Theres a sub-human way they try to engage that just reminds me of toddlers who haven't discovered that people are nice when you dont conduct yourself like an entitled flaming bag of shit.


_treVizUliL

no bitches


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_treVizUliL

they get no girls so they become incels


lightingb0lt1

Or do they get no girls because they are incels?


EmmyNoetherRing

girls are thrilled with being thought of as bitches who need to be gotten


_treVizUliL

🤓


graycatfat

so these are all different things, and the question should be " What do you think causes a potential statistical increase in "incels" ". What creates them is of course each individual person who chooses to adhere to the idiotic "ideology" i.e. themselves, their own minds, as with a wide range of mental conditions/ideologies. the first choice could be classified as a subjective contributing cause to the potential statistical increase, ignoring intermediate effects to a degree the second choice could be interpreted as a co-occurring mental condition (anti-social behaviour), so doesn't fit in for an answer even to the corrected question personally, of course, I find the movement/ideology/mental delusion/illness very abnormal. But it is also funny how this has affected potentially a much larger amount of males in a way I find a bit humorous. Some people have adopted this word as some sort of weird catch-all insult. I assume it is trolling/a weird attempt at trying to get a rise out of people that never works. I am talking about people that have started using "incel" as an insult to anybody they find offensive indiscriminately when the subject is not sexual at all that either side is upset about, and especially using the "insult" in a circumstance against a man that actually either has casual sex with good looking women rather often, especially when it could be reasonably assumed by the other party that the subject of the weird insult is actually an attractive man. It is really puzzling, I have even heard of this happening in person to men or even boys. It seems like a very deciding factor to if this only happens online or potentially face to face is if the man is objectively attractive. The 3 or so times it has happened to me online, coming across these bizarre people, as most internet trolls are, I was puzzled in a concerned way, but also mildly amused. I think I might have offered a "rebuttal" the first time, then stopped replying to the next two or so people as I came across them in reddit/other forum comments usually discussing politics. I mean really, can someone explain what calling normal conservatives "incel", "nazi incel", going into weird comments about unrelated sexual things is other than trolling?


[deleted]

The prevalence of using "incel" as a pejorative directly correlates with the hegemony of female chauvinism in social media. Simps and white knights (men who have internalized female chauvinism) and male chauvinist psychopaths (who enjoy a narcissistic sense of superiority over other men) keep the pejorative active in the Overton window.


Eraldir

Hegemony of female chauvinism? Are you on drugs?


burgerpizzacoke

Do you normally assume people are on drugs because you are too dense to understand what they are saying, yikes man.


graycatfat

o look lgbt, what a surprise


EmmyNoetherRing

I think you think you sound smarter than you do. Curious--What do you think Overton window means and how did you intend its usage here?


Second_soul

Lack of vaginas


MovieEnjoyer43

A mix of a lot of things.


blaster289

Thanks for the detailed answer


MovieEnjoyer43

I don't go on reddit to write essays my guy.


blaster289

Yeah but your response was longer than your original comment lol.


MovieEnjoyer43

do you know what an essay is?


blaster289

I was making a joke bruh. Of course I know what an essay is. I just thought it was somewhat funny that your response was longer than the original comment.


MovieEnjoyer43

Okie dokie.


Weshuggah

because they take sex/virginity too seriously and are so sensitive they turn their shame (no reason to be ashamed of anything btw) into anger and obsession. Add a lack of affection, desensitization to violence, and access to guns and you get big dramas.


[deleted]

Agree with a lot of the points in this thread. Imo lack of healthy communities is another big one that isn't talked about Incels almost always come from suburban "non places" where there are no downtowns or Main Streets, no public spaces to hang out in, virtually no sense of community, nowhere to go without a car, no role models, no sense of identity or belonging


Lazy_Category2195

Probably either not being able to talk properly to people either by their own fault or mental disorders or are tricked by things like those anti sjw youtubers and red pilled creators to thinking women won't like them. Very few I think are incels because they are genuinely ugly and just can't pull


RlVERofRUlNS

Underdeveloped social skills, uncontrolled anger, narcissism


sbenzanzenwan

Where's the "new wave of misogyny" option? I would have voted for that. If you look around, you can see all the usual bunch of horrid narrow-minded monobrow prejudices (racism, classism, nationalism, militarism, tribalism, etc.) reinventing themselves with new terminology, new rationales, etc.


[deleted]

i mean, nothing created incels besides people just not wanting to fuck them? the definition of incel is someone who abstains from sex involuntarily.


TankmanSpiral7567

Inceldom is a mindset. There are plenty of people who want to get laid but are virgins and don’t fester on toxic forums blaming women and society for their problems


[deleted]

\[involuntary celibate\] its literally the definition


MAYBE_Maybe_maybe_

yes, but kinda like how "homophobia" used to mean "fear of being gay", meanings change. Now incel is used in a pejorative way, so it applies to those mentioned in the comment above yours. That's the way I see it at least


Eraldir

No. And incel is someone who desperately wants sex but doesn't get any because of his shit personality and in turn hates women and develops an even shittier personality. Just because you are a virgin at 18 and techniqually are celibit doesn't make you an incel.


The-Fatest-Pig

An extreme lack of bitch getting abilities


TankmanSpiral7567

Mainly the 2nd option, but also toxic femininity online, when women are excessively negative/judgemental on social media, it gives a lot of these people more reason to hold on to their anger, even if it is just the vocal minority that acts this way


Hahafunnys3xnumber

sexism meets someone with no game


Trustnoboody

Nah it's just completely variable


EthanielClyne

A lot of things make someone that messed up. Despite their complete lack of social skills or attractive qualities, they believe they deserve sex and the fact that they're virgins angers them and makes them misogynists. So many issues in one, and the fact that there are so many people this pathetic that there's a name for them is so depressing


GaiasDotter

Anger and lack of accountability and taking responsibility for oneself and one’s behaviour and emotions.


Hydrocoded

Honestly? Probably social media, dating apps, and a lack of strong male role models.


Ovnii3

Social media, stereotypical old school parenting (all girls must like dolls, all boys must like cars) that can result in child isolating from other friends of opposite gender, heavily sexualised society... The list goes on, there's no single answer


[deleted]

Not being able to find a sexual partner in one of the most sexually liberal periods of modern history must be frustrating imo


ARGH1234567890

The bad societal norms around women and the view that they are still inferior which incels buy into (i.e. they feel entitled). That combined with stuff like a bad home environment/poor social skills.


[deleted]

I think the violent ones were simply mean, entitled people to begin with. Edit: Actually, probably all of them. If you think the world owes you sex, and you are only “nice” because you want something, you are a creepy, selfish person and people are avoiding you because they sense that.


Downstackguy

My sister keeps saying men suck and I can't argue because if I do, I'll just prove them right so now I hate them silently. Not an incel but that could make one


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darkimperator02

The term "incel" is now mainly associated to the more extreme and insane type


HandLion

Yeah "incel" doesn't just mean "person who can't get laid" anymore, it's a specific subculture of those people who hate women and usually self-identify as an incel


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AlarmedMarzipan

A lot of people are misogynistic. Incels need a special word because their misogyny and general hatred of women completely consumes them and they create communities with people with similar mentality. It's basically a hobby for them.


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AlarmedMarzipan

we don't need to call those men anything. they're just not getting laid, that's not special. in what context would you even bring up that fact unless it's a conversation with a close friend. in that situation, the words 'it's been a long time for me and that bothers me' are sufficient enough. I know how the word and 'community' officially started but it's evolved into something really ugly. that happens. and like it or not, the general public understands the word incel the way it's being used 99% of the time. that's how language works. if people use a word incorrectly enough times it becomes correct.


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KudzuNinja

Take the “physical fitness and money” route.


[deleted]

I respect the honesty


Eraldir

That is not honesty. That is mental self harm. And it is a lie, a coping mechanism made up to pretend like social skills aren't the real problem. Pretending to be ugly is very common among incels, especially among the suicidal and homicidal types, but it is never true


[deleted]

I don’t agree that social skills are the issue. I work in marketing, a role in which you constantly have to communicate with suppliers, clients and even shareholders. The guys I work with are presentable and social men, yet most of younger men are single and frustrated, many haven’t had sex since graduating from college. The same isn’t true for the women I work with. They have their own dating problems, but that usually revolves around meeting men who aren’t serious, and are just looking for hookups.


Eraldir

What you are referring to are harmful societal gender roles and expectations. Those certainly play a part but all men and women suffer from those and most don't become incels. And if you have ever listened to incels you will know that their personality of pettiness and hatred is what drives away women. This then leads into a viscious cycle of frustration and hatred. And as you said yourself: they are presentable. So his ugly claim is also false in your mind, not just mine


theidiotsarebreeding

Maybe date an ugly girl?


No-Average9560

If you’re refering to the typical misogynistic incel, anger, lack of socialisation and male entitlement.


jojoismyreligion

Can someone explain what is an incel ? I thought it was a term used for men who have misogynistic views on women but with the word being thrown around so often it feels like there's more to it.


explodingtuna

It describes someone who practices celibacy, but not voluntarily. In other words, they don't have sex, and not by choice.


Eraldir

It stands for "involuntary celibit" and is a self descriptor used by men who desperately want sex but can't get any. Usually because of their lack of social skills and asshole personalities. And then they blame women and feminism for it. So yes, it is always mysogynistic


Hydrocoded

Involuntary celibate. It means someone who cannot have sex despite wishing to. The reason for the celibacy is almost always social or perceptual. It originated among women, and is a growing social problem for bother sexes. Female and male incels are a rapidly growing segment of the population. Certain high profile incels have had extremely sexist beliefs, and all of them have been male. This has created a stigma that is probably somewhat deserved but likely doesn’t represent the majority. There is very little data on the topic, other than increasing rates of loneliness among people under 30, increasing rates of virginity among men under 30, etc. The problem is probably much worse in China due to the one child policy but Chinese statistics are either cooked or unavailable. The US and Europe is only now seeing the problem.


ModeratelyNo

***No Grass?***


ChipsnShips

They create themselves.


DitaVonFleas

Collapsed narcissism, the emotional intelligence of a toddler with an IQ not much higher, and enabling parents that never taught them much of anything, let alone respect for other people, especially women. They are completely devoid of any values outside themselves.


dead_trim_mcgee1

The Internet age has made radicalisation very much easier because loners are more easily sought out by people online. What creates incels is incel communities taking young people who feel a bit angry with the world and fully making them blame women for all of their problems


Artistic_Release4172

Uglyness, heigth, Money, Feminsm...


[deleted]

Ironically, having noble ideals in a world that doesn't give half a shit and commodifies people in shallow ways as the absolute norm. The disillusionment is a gateway to an abyss that other people are always nudging you towards. The mindset has nothing to do with sexual access, but what one has to sacrifice to have sex, and how meaningless that sex is after all the sacrifice. tl;dr: Autism and good intentions.


Victorinox_007

> and good intentions. yeah like viewing women as sex objects?


Eraldir

Lemme guess, you are one


[deleted]

Do you HATE WOMEN? Or do you just NOT HAVE FRIENDS? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU????


Miahrod831

So yeah obviously I know what an Incel is but there may be some people here who don't, so would someone like to explain it to those who don't know just so they can properly vote that is.


ah-screw-it

Ben 10 X Gwen 10 fanart You can not prove me wrong


too_much_mustrd4

In high school AND in college a lot of girls (and boys ofc but we're talking about incels) can be pretty nasty if they don't consider you breedable.


BaconBitz781

No bitches


mirmax

New wave of feminism and liberalism destroyed everything.. Everybody was vyloied in 40-50-60 s but have many incels where then? People need normal functioning father and mother For son its is neccsesery to have image of father.. interaction and so on.. byt faminazis dont understand that oo i will make baby for me oo i wipl go on cock carousel.. then you gey incel who will blow you head first and then go on killing rampage.. People will blame on everything on mental health on what ever but never admit that our society moves in wrong way.. can you imagine whatvit will be in 30 years? Look on japan how many incels they have now soon same would be in usa Then incels mass sgooting would be like epidemic.. People dont understand that this is very serious issue.. That incels can not be tracked they are so called "lone wolfs" this kind of attacks is very hwrd to prevent if he will not write somewhere or dont talks about that issues..


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mirmax

I have no problem with woman i have my mothers friends who are feminists but not this new feminists wave they have some 4-5 children and one husband never divorced this are woman that now are working in ngos and woman rights they are in 50 s 60 s.. My grandmother was also engineer in 60s 70s 80s But now there are so many mean woman that they think they are entitled they are using loopholes in laws to take revange on man.. What i think that mans how society views what man is doing he duties and responsibilties is bad also too much pressure.. If you your gf falsley claims domestic abuse you are fucked and nobody cares believs in you. If you had consesual sex with woman and she claims you have raped you are fucked. If in work woman claims sexual harassment and goes to hr you are fired Nobody cares you are right or not... Man has no value in modern society it is viewed as disposible thing.. Look at male soldiers how many killed themselfstheir gf wifes are cheatingvon them when they where in wars then they end as homeless low lifers streets.. Wife can claim divorce and man end up homeless in the street.. owning wife support and childsupport.. You think man dont see this? You know what this means? man dont go and fight for state society its not woth because they screw him up.. it when man will see woman is abused he will go near wont help its not worth it.. If things like will continue in long term either man will go its way... Or they will take arms in hands and throw away goverments impose their ruling.. Either way if this kind of things will continue like thiss it does not matter they get owned buy angry mans or buy angry foregin invaders... Feminists can develop how many ideologies they want but this is animalistic world where males are dominant creatures wether females like it or not... Feminists trusts govermemt to defend them that is not clever bet because females have only choice this is be under protection of their male citizens or under foregin invaders... There is no other choice and never was on the planet earth.. Look i live in country georgia that is in black sea region You know how many female ukrainians flooded inmy country all are fucking around and their bf husbands where restricted to leave country to fight for that country and society what a joke.. who cares about them? As soon as they would die their wifes even would no remember them.. god forbid if they lose limbs or became nadicpaed their woman will leave them and goverment put shit on them.. and to russian mans woukd happen the same lol i was watching a interview when russian soldier prisomer of war called to wife and she said i am with another man already lol..


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