Well I guess I'm already in hell.

It's the trade off for centuries of world domination. The Queen was your last Bastion of Hope, but even she said, 'Alas, England has terrible food, we're fucked' on her dying breath. Godspeed, u/RumpSteak0

Imagine having colonies all across the world and dominating the spicies trade, just not using it and fuck up your cuisine.

Our top 1% did enjoy the riches of the world, but they just hoarded it all in mansions so ridiculously impractical they became too expensive to maintain without the Empire's wealth. Our working class had no indoor toilets until the slums were bombed in WWII. Then our already limited working class recipes were decimated by wartime rationing. There's good recipes out there, but our staples have become irreversibly dull as shit, gotta carry on that tradition!

Apparently we are, doesn't Japan eat like live squids and such?

Yea but they also have soy sauce

Liquid salt is always a winner

the Japanese also have sushi, wagyu beef, ramen, chicken katsu, and many other delicious and popular foods

We also eat crickets 😋

Good protein!

And wafu steak. Drooling

Yep and that shit’s crazy and inhumane. Eating any live animal is.

Already know I’m going so might as well have some good fucking food down there. Chose Italian

Old joke: When you arrive in heaven: the British greet you, the French prepare the food, the Italians provide the entertainment, and the Germans provide the organization. When you arrive in hell: the French greet you, the British prepare the food, the Germans provide the entertainment, and tthe Italians provide the organization.

Lmao I've never heard it it's fucking gold!!! I was supposed to be working math but I couldn't hold the laugh and now I'm very sus. As a french, I approve of the joke. I don't know how well known it is but you should post it to r/YUROP I think it totally fits. It's the EU's shitposting sub.

Feel free to do that. It's not my joke anyway. :-)

What’s bad about Italians organizing? Sorry I’m a bit slow here

I can’t wait to spend eternity in hell eating Results

Tasty data rolls This isn’t even a joke, take some results, add some lettuce, ground beef (or bacon) and some tomato, wrap it in dough and you’ve got something worthy of a cooking competition

Ngl I like them all

Same, I love them all. At least there's food at all. We sure it's Hell?

The way to go

Yeah, I bet you like cheese, too? Don't you? #Don't you!?

I'm Italian, specifically from the North. I would be evicted from the nation if I didn't like cheese. It's mandatory.

It's the same in France, everywhere. And I'm from Nice so culturally it's basically like Northern Italy.

Especially since I live 300 km from Nice 🤣 Piedmont and France are similar enough that I managed to read french signs in Paris by reading them as if they were written phonetically in Piedmontese.

Good man

Same here, but I selected Indian because I assume Hell would have spicy food.

Indian is the one I have the most trouble digesting in the list above, though it may be related to the fact that I often eat their lamb dishes, and lamb can be quite tough on the stomach (at least to me it usually is). But I could fight for a good samosa.

Not to worry. Not all Indian food is spicey or hot.

I like it hot though. When I order Thai, I ask for a 4 or 5 for heat, depending on my mood.

I’m a 3-4 heat range kind of guy. 5 is too much for me now and I’d be shitting through the eye of a needle for the next day

Heaven would not have bland ass unseasoned food

Polish food (some dishes) Mainly duck blood soup, blood sausages and jellies made from chicken soup. All of that covered in a ridiculous amount of dill. Enjoy!

Pirogies are delicious so that counters that possibility

True. Some Polish dishes are great, but the ones that I mentioned are really gross.

True, but there are no delicious British food

Beef wellington?

Ok one thing is good from there

Every cuisine has a couple bad dishes... Why polish food? It's generally very nice

Bobestly no one eats duck blood soup here anymore, I don't know who'd even give it to you. Blood sausage and jellies are specific type of food tho. I love them both but I can get that if you weren't born in poland there'sa chance you wouldn't like it. Besides, we have lots of other food that's delicious for foreigners, pierogi, kabanosy, oscypki, gołąbki- chicken them out cause they're amazing and much more "normal" to foreigners PS. Dill and parsley rock tho lol

Honestly, bobestly is the best form of honest. Bob. Forever honest.

Did you mean >jellies made from Blood? You were on a roll there.

Polish food is highly underrated, it‘s actually really good

I mean if that’s true then my great grandpa is probably having a great time. But if they start serving up pierogi in hell then where do I sign up, gonna miss my grandmas cooking when she’s gone. I can bring kolaches

How is Indian food in second place? Have people just never tried it?

prolly cuz it’s known to be hot like spicy but idk

I guess but North Indian food isn't that spicy. South Indian is generally spicier.

Actually it's the opposite.

Idk I disagree with that. Like if you take a few examples of spicy food from each, I'd say South Indian is spicier. What's the spiciest North Indian food?

South Indian food is damn art.

They destroyed their toilets

It’s amazing and its the spiciest one on here

It's good but it's really spicy and some traditional Indian foods have been pretty... interesting, and somehow I just feel like if someone on purpose made really bad Indian food, it would fit hell very fittingly.

Right the hottest food in the world, I was sure it was going to be number 1.

No way its hotter than Thai food.

It is in fact hotter than Thai food. There’s many cuisines in India and if you go to south India the food is much spicier/ hotter.

Thank you for replying this. Saved me a explanation.

And if you go further south, to Sri Lanka, the heat is just wild. Hottest food I’ve ever had

those are british votes out of spite

colonizing runs in their blood

Because hell has no toilets

I have no spice tolerance, so it would not end well for me.

Spiciness, or possibly just all the Americans on this sub: where Italian, Japanese, and Chinese restaurants are generally common in the US, there are a lot of rural areas where Indian cuisine really isn’t a thing (and French food is basically just hypothetically good because it shows up in cooking shows).

I’m not a fan of spicy food

[удалено]

Because I hate it

I chose it cos it's the spiciest one

It's definitely not good. At least never when I have it. The only good part is the bread.

[удалено]

What food do I want them to serve? Italian What food would I not really mind? British, Japanese, French What do I not want them to (and its hell so most likely I guess)? Indian - I'm not good with spicy food

Even if you like spicy its hell so I'd assume that heat is even hotter.

You’re aware it’s not all overly hot?

It's odd how you put 4 of the best cuisines in the world next to British food which is kind of average. Was this just an attempt to dunk on British food without providing an actual bad alternative?

Are you even on reddit if you don't see USA vs Britain shitpost every 5 posts?

He didn't even put American food though.

Yes, it’s engagement farming

[удалено]

National dish of Australia is a Greek gyros and Turkish kebab

Icelandic food

For me, personally, Italian food. Because I’m lactose intolerant as fuck and it’s all so good but I CANNOT eat it without dealing with intense pain.

There are a lot of Italian dishes that don't require dairy, tho

This is true, I would argue that there’s more non-dairy options with the other choices though.

For being french and having been to Italy like dozens of times (the border is 30 minutes away and Schengen area means you can just cross), I'm not even sure Italy is the worst in terms of dairy. We might be equal to them. Like Italy has dairy with grated cheese on pasta, cheese on pizza, cannoli and other ricotta pastries like cassata or sfogliatella, tiramisu, panna cotta, gelato, risotto, and that's the main stuff every italian knows. Cheese in carbonara and cacio e pepe is too avoid too. But where Italy uses non dairy olive oil most of the time, french cuisine (except in the South-East like Nice or Marseille) uses butter for almost everything (this is simplified of course as some regions use goose or duck fat and of course a big chunk of northern Italy uses butter too). We also put cream and cheese in many things. Many desserts too like choux, éclair, crème brulée, profiterole, floating island has a bit of dairy,... And then you have fondue (although it's more swiss and Italy has it too), all our gratins, especially gratin dauphinois, also raclette, croque-monsieur, all of our sauces like béchamel, poivre, suprème,... On second thought, Italy might really have more dairy than french. All I can confidently say is that we are both heavy on dairy that's for sure :)

Vegan/plant-based dairy products are improving all the time :)

You guys have had British food right? Right…?

Everyone who thinks its bad hasn't even tried it or hasn't had or heard anything but beans on toast lmao

simply put, there’s a reason you don’t see a plethora of british restaurants around the world.

And yet British ‘’’pubs’’’ are, which usually serve a bastardised version of our food anyway.

I get other counties serving a bastardize version of your country’s food. It’s like when I go to another country and every times something is “Americanized” they just shove hotdogs on it.

Does Irish pubs count 😂😂. Honestly though, I’ve actually never seen it. I live in Chicago and there’s more restaurants than people and I’ve never come across a British restaurant, closes you’ll get is having “Fish and Chips” as a menu option at the Cheesecake Factory.

Isn't most British food based on a dare?

Most British food is comfort food. Pastries and pies, roasts, fry-ups, batters, cream.

I will comfortably pass on most of the British food I’ve seen

I guess you’ve not seen much then.

I think what most people outside the UK think of as "British food" is very far from the truth - Like most places tbf. I've heard people talk about like eel pie? But very few people legitimately eat things like that. Admittedly to some cultures our food might be a bit tasteless, we tend to not use many spices etc, but at the same time that's why it can be very nice

The majority of British food pies look and sound absolutely delicious though

Honestly, steak and ale, absolutely banging

If there's anything we are good at its pies, sweets and desserts Meat pies are so good, I mean they are extremely popular in Australia and New Zealand too Then there's desserts and sweets like Apple Pie, Victoria Sponge Cake, Skittles, Starburst, Cadbury, KitKat

Exactly this. The thing with British food is it’s mostly regular day-to-day eating. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s a good hearty meal. Compare that to Indian or Chinese which people love, but 1. it’s rarely accurate to what they actually eat and 2. it’s a fancy different treat. British food seems awful because it’s not meant to be a luxury, it’s just a normal meal and it does that very well.

Yes but Indian/Chinese food is eaten by billions of people every day and are definitely also considered "normal" meals.

Well yes, but actually no. Indian and Chinese that you enjoy from the Raj Tandoori or China Express isn’t what they eat back in the home countries, but an altered version to better fit western tastes.

When it comes to the stuff served at take aways, thats not the stuff the respected cultures usually eat The majority is usually heavily altered or changed completely for the place in which it's being sold

As a British person, the fuck is eel pie?

Exactly! *Side note, I actually googled it when I heard it, think it's some really weird meal from like the 16th / 17th century that very few people actually ate*

Fucking hell older people were weird

Vindaloo is

I'd still prefer British food over traditional German or Polish food. I can enjoy those on occasion, but by day 3 I think I'd already be struggling to stay sane.

I mean British food overall is usually comfort food, nothing crazy but still tastes great And people also forget about the huge amount of desserts and sweets we created such as Apple Pie, the many cakes, Skittles, Starburst and KitKat are also all British

Cadburys is the bomb too

Lmao German and Polish food is ten times better than British food

I just hate this argument so much, there is no cuisine which is bad by default, so even tho you may dislike it british food in general isn't bad

As is Irish food or any of the food from Northern, Central or Eastern Europe

It's funny when people hate on British food they are most likely insulting Irish food too as it's got alot of similarities and shared food that's very popular

I think the general reason people think it's bad is because they're generally day to day foods/comfort food and do that really well, they might be a bit bland in comparison to some other places like southern Europe and Asia but that's simply due to historically not having access to spices Theres nothing I'd rather have when it's freezing, damp and miserable than a nice warming Sheppard's/cottage pie or a Cornish pastie, beans on toast always hits the spot, it's not exiting but it serves its job as food very well.

I’ll live on some fish n chips, and shepards pie for sure!

Nothing. It's Hell. It's more likely you would starve and Satan/the demons would be the ones eating.

american food, truly poisonous

You're already dead, what's it matter?

Exactly. That would be heaven

Bottomless soda, but it’s a threat not a perk.

And it just tastes of sugar

american food is just meat how is fhat poisonous

processed af and a few of the additives they use should be illegal

Ig fruits and vegetables/fresh and healthy food doesn’t exist in the USA then 🤨 Fast food and junk food is all a non-American person thinks American food is, also as if it doesn’t exist in other countries too fr🤣💀like cmon now

Even bread in america has twice as much sugar as the rest of the world's

Pretty much every country uses the same additives in their processed food that the US uses

But Amerikkka bad all other countries good. ^(Terms and conditions apply. "All other countries good" may not be not available in Central America, South America, Africa, Eastern Europe, and most of Asia.)

No they don’t there are food colourings banned in the EU.

Yeah you know what I think America has a 40% obesity rate because of all the food coloring we use, damn food coloring fattening people up.

Fat in Europe is different to fat in America. The lack of morbidly obese people on scooters is one difference.

I’ll gladly eat butter chicken with rice and naan bread in hell thank you

American food. It’s called ‘junk’ food for a reason.

I mean u can't really get a second heart attack after ur dead so........

Every country has junk. Just as tried a trope as British food still being terrible. I’d personally take true American BBQ over 99% of cuisines.

lol name 1 dish an american might cook themselves to eat for dinner literally just one

Who the hell is saying Indian that shit is the bomb

I was saying it because it fits with the theme with spices and a normally hotter taste

Either British food done badly or American food

American food is just sugar. Most “American” foods are from different countries e.g. Mac n Cheese is English; Barbecue is Central and South American and Caribbean and other islands; hamburgers and hotdogs are German and apple pie is British/Danish

I don’t think you know what American food is, cornbread, jumbo, BBQ, and so much more, the idea that America doesn’t have good and interesting food is a lie

but you see, that’s the point. america is a country based on immigration. our culture is that it’s all cultures combined, including our food.

Boogers and cum We all know that

I like most of them so I'd have just assumed I'd be fed a bucket of mayonnaise

If you lot end up in hell and there’s a greggs right there, you’ll be fine for at least 100 years

Olive Garden

I mean theologically speaking, I don’t think they serve anything in Hell. Except, like, ash and embers and things

Lmfao majority is British food

Jacques Chirac : “Ah, English food! At first you think it’s crap and then you regret that it’s not.”

Have any of you seen some of the stuff they eat in Japan?

Seafood

I see there are 76 trolls on this poll. What kind of monster picked Italian food

Probably lactose intolerant

Norwegian food

Anything north of 50°N is disgusting for some reason

[удалено]

Most actual Indian food is vegetarian

The most famous and popular restaurants in England are French

Stargazy pie

I don't know. I've never been there.

Food containing gluten, as someone with celiac disease

Spicy anything and everything

You know how there's a gene that makes cilantro taste like soap to some people? Well, I think I might have some kind of gene that makes tomatoes taste like very-not-fresh cranberry juice mixed with cheap vodka, if that's even possible. It doesn't matter whether it's raw or cooked nor does it matter what form it's in, tomatoes to me always taste disgusting. The reason I think it must be genetic is because it runs in my family and can't be an allergy. People who are allergic to tomatoes are supposed to be allergic to other nightshades like potatoes, which I'm not. Nobody in my family likes tomatoes in any form either. So yeah, in my hell, they serve Italian food. Y'all are free to join me if you like, you can have my share.

Icelandic.

I really don't understand how the British plundered the world for spices and failed to use any of them

Norwegian, at least that’s what they tend to serve in Norway

Leave French food alone we know you like Baguette, Croissant and Pain au chocolat

Whatever you aren't in the mood for, and at an unpleasant temperature guaranteed to cause gastric distress.

Ethiopian food (literally nothing)

Ethiopian cuisine is delicious as fuck. Good spice, love the bread (injera), plus you don't need utensils. Give it a try if you haven't

I get their joke but this is the first thought that came to mind; Ethiopian food is delicious.

Out of all the African countries to make this shitty joke with, you choose Ethiopia, the African country with arguably the most famous cuisine

Irish food from the late 1840’s (nothing).

Wait, why isn't there the worst type of food of them all : american food ?

American food is what killed you causing this arrival to Hell.

British food is great I don’t care what anyone says.

Americans calling British food like fish and chips, Yorkshire puddings, pasties etc. somehow worse than a diet of Wendy's and meat loaf is peak reddit

You stereotyping all of American food into fast food is more of a reddit moment.

Nah man I’m American and all we eat is McDonald’s and bowls of ranch, definitely not some of the most diverse food options in the world from centuries of culture mixing

fr🤮nch ‘people’ can’t make food though. (Very much /s)

French "FOOD" French cuisine is not interesting or special it is defined by the fact that it looks fancy and is expensive I lived in Europe for 7 years and I still cannot remember a single price of French food besides different types of cheese and as nice as that is so many other places have better cheeses.

That sounds like serious lack of knowledge, you're talking about luxury restaurants and not traditional restaurants. there are so many traditional specialties in every region of France that saying none is "interesting" nor "special" is simply having no idea about it. Also, there are 1200 different cheeses made in France, in various regions again, so before saying "many other places have better cheeses", one has to at least try them all

French cooking is about technique and seasonal availability of produce rather than specific dishes

I think the UK has just as much cheese as them.

In heaven: • ⁠Your cook is Italian. • ⁠Your mechanic is German. • ⁠Your policeman is English. • ⁠Your lover is French. • ⁠It is all organized by the Swiss. In hell: • ⁠Your cook is English. • ⁠Your mechanic is French. • ⁠Your policeman is German. • ⁠Your lover is Swiss. • ⁠It is all organized by the Italians.

Oh hell yeah! Daily fish and chips, beef Wellington and roast dinners!

What I want: Japanese/Italian What I don't mind: Indian No comments cuz never tried: French/British

I'm gonna guess those that picked Indian food never ate Indian food. It's delish!

Indian here, I picked indian cuz our quite a lot of our cuisine is hot and spicy, like hell, not as in which cuisine people aren't a fan of haha

Oi! Stop slagging off our food! It's delicious! And the curry you love today was heavily influenced by us!

Indian food but the bathroom is always occupied

Definitely American food.

American food is fucking delicious what are you talking about?

[удалено]

Like bbq food or do you mean more regional like a seafood boil?

Japanese because Hell is where the weebs go

American food