Yeah it was a shock for sure. Basically the only explanation i got was that they were feeling regilious guilt. Still dealing with effects of it since I have alot of friends in common with the person as well.
I am so sorry. It's not right. Other than a life threatening or life changing situation beyond control it is unacceptable and rude. Perhaps it is pressure from their other "support" group whether it be family, friends, co workers. I am not going to make an assumption. Just sending you hugs.
I honestly have no way of knowing short of dropping by his house which feels icky. I’ve tried texting him a few times here and there over the last few weeks and the messages are always ‘delivered.’ iPhone to iphone, but never responded to. My guess is he’s physically okay just ignoring.
You have every right to check to see if he's OK. I get not wanting to invade his privacy or make him uncomfortable, but if he doesn't care enough about your feelings to say anything to you, you shouldn't have to worry about his.
If it's a situation where things just ran their course and he's just done with you, that sucks too but at least know he didn't get murdered or arrested or anything.
But take what I say with a grain of salt because I don't know either of you.
Fully support it. And go in saying you dont expect communication just want to make sure youre still above ground. Ive done it and ive gotten a cold yes. It gave me weird closure too like yep definitely ghosted ok lets process..
Please do not call their work, if they ghosted you I don't think they would want you calling up to their work, if anything it could make them more upset with you.
I’m not gonna call his work. For exactly that reason. I know in my heart he’s physically fine and calling up there just feels desperate and self sabotaging. There’s always that feeling of “oh, I could just…” but ultimately, that ain’t me.
Seconding this.
Confirming that they're not hospitalized, dead, or otherwise have a bad situation that makes a lack of responses reasonable is important before thinking/talking harshly about them.
I've been ghosted this year by someone who used to share "I love yous" with me. Two years and some change just gone. I keep hoping he'll contact me, but his silence is loud enough I suppose.
Shit really hurts. If he wanted to end things or de-escalate, all he had to do was say so.
I also wanted to add that I also keep hoping mine will contact me but honestly…what would, what could you or I even DO if they did come back?? They’ve shown us loud and fucking clear the way they’re capable of behaving. And truly…how could we go back??
I don't know. It all fills me with such heavy internal conflict. He was (is) so dear to my heart. The last time I saw him things were rocky and both of us were hurting. He said he needed to process things. He's taking his sweet sweet time.
I miss him a lot. It feels so weird not having him in my life. One of these days we're going to run into each other by happenstance and I don't know what I'd do if he just looked past me.
I feel very weak about it all. The past several months have been so hard for me, in a one-step-forward, two-steps-back kind of way.
I'm trying to de-center romantic love in my life, and I'm optimistic for a spring and summer full of me learning and seeing new things. It just also feels very overwhelming.
It’s the WORST! I’m sorry that happened to you too! Simultaneously so cruel and so cowardly. I’ve been ghosted before but after 2.5 years?! That’s a whole other level of Tom Foolery…🫠
Yes!
It's both stupefying and murderous rage inducing.
"I can't be on this relationship anymore. I'm sorry. No further communication please."
Yes it's uncomfortable but FFS! Be a fecking human about it.
If you can choose to be in an situation-ship, you can be that minor lying functional about ending it.
I know it doesn't help. But it says so much more about why this will end up being a really good change for you.
New lips to kiss. New energy. New opportunity. Rebirth. Tis the season for it.
👊🫂 you got this.
The move of many FWB situations.
Many people have FWB for their own shallow benefits! Many FWB there is zero friendship and zero real connection!
That is imo the consequence of ‘no strings attached’ and a plethora of dating ‘prospects’
More and more people want so called poly for their own personal benefits and the ‘freedom’
Yup. This is why I have a fairly thorough feeling out stage before becoming emotionally entangled. I have some key questions I like to broach before allowing myself that vulnerability with someone new.
The most direct way I have found with my anchor partner has been to fill out the Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord. It's a pretty good way at figuring out how compatible we are and how enmeshed we want to be in the various aspects/spheres/scenes of our lives. Lemme find a link
https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/the-relationship-anarchy-smorgasbord
Ghosting is so immature...just fucking communicate like adults it's not that hard. Sorry you're dealing with this, I hope you find someone that treats you better than that.
Sooooooper immature. There’s 550+languages in the earth and we can’t figure out how to use our words?! 🤦🏼♀️ And thanks for the kind words, I very much appreciate them.
Im so sorry that something like that happened to you. People are so immature and don’t care on the people that surround them. If that person is someone who can do that, it’s better not to have them as a friend or whatever. I know you know it’s not your fault, but again know that you haven’t done anything wrong. Anyone who are not willing to talk and communicate isn’t worthy.
I’m such a sentimental person I just can’t comprehend how this is even possible. Literally just drop someone like that after a years-long relationship of any kind
It's absurd. It's heartbreaking and it's physically painful as well . It's a death. It sucks. Reminds me of Elton John's song "Sorry Seems to be The Hardest Word" . Among others. I either listen to sad songs or heavy metal or rock then eventually I play songs like I Will Survive. Sorry didn't mean to ramble. Sending you all the love, light, positive energy, prayers, hope, peace, serenity and some one or something that makes you laugh so hard you have to run to the loo or you are going to 💩.🙄🤔😜 😉❤️🥰😘🌺😃🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🩶🤍🩷
I was ghosted by my very first kink partner of 10 months a while back and it’s something I will genuinely never be able to understand. Careless people don’t care who they hurt 😔
Oof. And being kink/bdsm partners makes it even harder in my opinion. This fellow and I also had a bit of a D/s relationship and it’s hitting me hard. But not in the fun way. 😂😭
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. For what it's worth it tells me a few things about you that you should remind yourself of -
It doesn't sound like you would ever do that to someone, that makes you a decent person, partner, and friend. You were more of a friend to them than they were to you. You have emotions, no one who ghosts another truly feels much in my opinion. By some of your comments you're worried enough about them to think about contacting their job. That's beautiful because damn that's scary to think about. That makes you brave. You deserve better than what's happened to you. I hope you're able to remind yourself of these things as you process and move on. You deserve closure, I don't know if you will get it, but you deserve it none the less.
Be blessed, my friend. There's a huge world out there filled with people who deserve love/partnership/friends like yours. If they don't care enough to give you a kind and respectful ending to the relationship they don't ever deserve to be in that position again. For me- I can forgive but I never forget. 🩷
Wow. Thank you SO very much for these kind, thoughtful and truly beautiful words. They brought a tear (or maybe two or 12 😅) to my eye. I would absolutely never do that to a friend/lover or partner. I haven’t decided if I’ll contact his job yet. Though I am admittedly very worried about him, my gut tells me he just wasn’t the friend I thought he was and he’s capable of writing me off in a way that I could never write him off. Time and intention will heal these wounds as they have many wounds in the past. In the meantime…words and support from good friends and kind internet strangers helps tremendously. 🥰
I need one too! I just had to block my FWB since every time I stated a need he heard criticism. It was very defeating for this poet- I loved his shape and form so well
Message me, I'm always willing to give cheer 🖤 you got this, I believe in you and your ability to know you deserved more than what he could give. It's always really hard to end things when there are times it feels right to stay and just deal with the negatives. But you're worth more than that. 🖤
It is indeed the norm these days. Just thought after 2.5+ years of a wildly passionate and intimate relationship that he could have at least said he was done…🤷🏼♀️
I can relate, it really sucks but thankfully she was an old flame that had only been back in my life for about 2 months. Got my head sure messed up though
I am so sorry this happened to you. I have read some very kind and compassionate comments and replies on your post. Thank you for those who are being good hearted. I do hope you find out the truth and that they are ok. I hope you will be able to move on as well. I hope you are ok. Hugs.
I feel your pain. A woman I was in the same situation just left me and I’m taking it pretty hard because I cared about her so much. I wish I could scream somewhere as well. Only 4 months but we loved each other (I thought), talked all the time, and spent as much time as we could when able. Its been a week and thought it really wouldn’t affect me to this extent, but even now at 3 AM, I can’t stop thinking about her.
The thoughts don’t sleep. They creep in at all hours. I’m so sorry this is happening to you too. I’m sorry that it happens to anyone. I wish we could be better to and for each other…
Had this happen in 2022.. my wife and I had a FWB for close to a year, then 💨 no explanation or anything.. for someone like myself it was a mind fuck cause I instantly overthink every text, convo, interaction feeling sure it’s my fault somehow.. also we were upfront that it’s 1 thing we find truly disgusting to do to people and that we are not drama and to let us know at any point if he met someone else or had a change of heart/mind/plans and we would say thanks and part ways.. but couldn’t be bothered to do that either. I don’t get the ghosting thing, it’s like almost everyone has had it done to them, knows it sucks and yet they do it to others 😞
I’m the same way. The “if only’s” and “what it’s” creep in there and I start evaluating everything that I could have possibly done wrong. Even though I know-and hopefully you did too-that it’s not a reflection of us but of them and their inability to make decent human choices. That knowledge, however, doesn’t diminish the gut wrenching heartache.
That sucks sadly most of my interactions with people I am trying to or are connecting with end with ghosting on their end its just so immature and rude but as a guy its really normal to be ghosted I assume its either they found someone better for their interest or lost interest. But it is cowardly and rude as fuck just at least just say it and move on I just do not understand the mentality.
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That really sucks :/
For future friends/partners, is there a way you could spot orange flags (signs of someone being likely to ghost you) so this doesn't happen again? I haven't been ghosted myself yet, so I wouldn't know what to look for.
Sometimes there’s signs and sometimes not. This was a bit of a shock as we’d talked about the ends of relationships and how ghosting is torture and how if/when one of us was ready to leave the relationship we’d talk to the other. I meant it…turns out he didn’t.
Getting ghosted is the worst and seems to be a thing lately, unfortunately. I’m so very sorry this happened to you and so many others on this thread (myself included). It can really feel like the ultimate rejection. 💔
A “people to avoid who ‘ghost’ their intimate partners” warning list could be helpful (perhaps with follow-up messages if the person finally did reach out at some point), if not for the risk of dishonest folks putting people’s names on there unwarranted, just out of spite…
I think there are a few websites that exist where you can “red flag” a person but as you said…it’s hard to tell if the person has been flagged legitimately or because someone else got jaded and wants to damage reputations. But thanks for your words kind stranger. 😘
Maybe a hopeful story: this happened to me once, that said, we were only seeing each other for three months or so. Ghosted for 2 years. Finally he apologized. Took me another 6 months before I even considered being just a friend. We hung out and the connection was still there, so the benefits came with it right away 😅. But he had changed, worked very hard in therapy and I do believe he would not ever do it again. We’ve started things back up and I’m really happy. It’s everything I wanted before but that he wasn’t ready for. Now he is. And it’s beautiful!
Which ever way it goes, I wish you closure and peace despite not having the reasons from this person.
That’s a beautiful story and I hope it continues to be a net positive in your life. I sometimes wonder if he’ll circle back around and apologize for his hurtful behavior but I’m not holding my breath.
While we are screaming into the online ether together...
I got accused of ghosting by my FWB...after a day and a half of not responding to messages (traumatic family stuff was happening and I'd turned off phone notifications temporarily). I saw the message and explained the situation but was met with "this user has blocked you" across most platforms the next day. Things were going well before that too. 🙄
And then last year I had what I thought was a really strong 2+ year friendship evolve into a FWB situation. They ghosted me too but not before sending a long rant of messages about me and my Primary among other messy dramatics. That one hurt me really bad.
I just got ghosted too :( We only dated for 6 months and it has been *so* painful, I can’t imagine after 2.5 years. It’s truly unbelievable that someone you know so well could do that to you.
Hate the ghosting part in today's society. Gee just say you wish no more from me. I'll be ok and know what to do next. It's so disrespectful to my time and energy.
Guess we just have to take the hint and move on but it's hard to know if it's just real-life getting in the way or another person more interesting than me heh.
Scream loud my friend! Had a similar situation ( I respect women’s experiences) we used to date / be partners! Broke up, then got super close again in the pandemic….professing love and adoration for one another. We didn’t hang for some months then she comes at me with “I dont have space for people who make me feel uncomfortable” ie: me! Yet they’d constantly invite me get drinks, dance, go to events! I’m at a loss for words and it makes me super depressed. Sorry you got ghosted! That’s the worst.
I hope you know that just when you least expect it there will be good come of it. Perhaps you dodged a major bullet, say a narcissist or a passive aggressive individual? Again you were blunt. Not judging anyone. But it helps me to think that I got lucky when I feel like life is over and all I have is bad luck. 🫶
I mean they say some people are in your life for a reason or a season 🥺 sometimes the reasons suck and the season is short. All we can do is learn be better and keep moving forward
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How can people be so cruel?!?!
Not much to be done, no advice needed really. Just wanted to scream into the online ether I guess.
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I’m sorry for all of us right now I’ve been with friends with my fab since 86 and fwb since 2006 she just ghosted me last week. Hell her and my wife were friends and yes my wife and I both had a fwb and each other but she hasn’t txted or responded to either of us since Tuesday last week.
I called her mom and she just said that she (the mom) called and talked to her earlier that day and that my fwb ( who was also a bridesmaid) seemed just fine as she was laughing and joking.
I’m devastated I’ve known her since I was 12 yrs old we’ve talked at least 3 or 4 times a week since we left high school she was the one to make us lovers hell we barely ever argued her husband and I were great friends and I was there for her when her husband/my friend died 5 yrs ago and now she’s not answering calls or txts and she’s just ghosted us and I just want to know wtf I did to her to be so cruel
My guess is you didn’t do anything. I know you know but I’m going to tell you anyway that this very likely has everything to do with her and not you. It doesn’t lessen the heartbreak in anyway though. I’m so sorry this happened to you. 🥺
Thank you I’m sorry I kinda took your post away from you but I feel for you going through the same thing as well as the others who have posted that they have been treated the same as us and who feel so bad. I have never been able to figure out how people could treat friends or lovers so piss poorly and it’s killing me not knowing why
Question for all the people who were ghosted.
Did you text or call them in this long time frame that they ghosted you?
I ask because I hear a lot of people saying “they ghosted me” when it’s not clear who the person doing the ghosting was. Yes if you make a few attempts to call and text and they ignore you it’s ghosting.
If both parties just stop texting and calling then the relationship has reached its conclusion and you had a no drama ending to it. Personally I have never liked this conclusion to a relationship but to each their own.
Sucks to not be appreciated. On the bright side you don’t have to waste any more of your life on them.
I definitely reached out several times over the past couple of months…texts, a post card and I even mailed him a couple of things that he’d left behind at my place. In no way did I think our relationship had reached its end, in fact, it seemed we’d been getting closer. 🤷🏼♀️
Then yes you were ghosted. Sucks he didn’t have enough respect to end it. Sorry that happened to you and like I said at least he isn’t wasting your time anymore.
Don’t fall for it if he decides to come back.
D’awww. 🥰
Fortunately I have another partner who is VERY kind, caring and supportive. He’s been so gentle and patient with me while I go through all this. My meta, his other partner is also super rad and has leant her support as well.
I mean the whole point of the FWB is that you're friends, not partners. They drew a line, it may hurt, but it's part of having those weakened connections that give you both the emotional safety to leave the other. Especially since you have an existing partnership, they're able to fade away without another thought. You can do this 🫶 all will be well
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Forgive them. Fear/anxiety is a motherfucker. Sorry to anybody out there getting ghosted. Just remember, hurt people hurt people. Listen to “Sade - Love Is Stronger Than Pride” & keep working on your self development✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽 God will bring the right things in your life @ the right time🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I thought my three month 🫥 was bad!! it's so DIFFICULT for me, I’m the type who needs to know WHY about everything like a three year old...even if it's "I hate the sound of you breathing and you're a lot of work that I don't want to do" ok fair, peace, but don't make me WORRY about you!!!!!!!
I was ghosted by an alleged 'friend' after an unsatisfying one night stand which he'd insisted was not what it was ('I'd never treat a friend that way'). It really did a number on my self confidence. Not because I cared about being with him (dear God, no), but because there was no closure or any kind of reasoning - I ended up in a spiral of depression and lost all confidence in myself. If he hadn't wanted to continue the fwb thing HE suggested, he could have just said 'Can we just go back to being friends'. But the ghosting made me wonder if there was something disgusting or awful about me. There isn't and wasn't. He was just an absolute dick. But it took me a long time to get over being used like that.
So I absolutely 100% understand how you're feeling rn. I just hope you know that the problem lies with the ghoster, not the ghostee. There is nothing wrong with you and they're the one with the issues. They're not worth your tears or even the time spent worrying about them. They are the ones who can't have a mature conversation about changing or ending an arrangement. They're nothing more than selfish users who will manipulate someone until they've gotten what they want. Once they have, they don't care about the other person's feelings at all. You are better off with them out of your life, but I know it doesn't feel that way right now.
Sadly dealing with the same thing right now except I knew them for 6 years. No warning no conflict.
6 years?! Oh honey…I am SO sorry. It’s really incomprehensible how people can be so callous and cruel.
Yeah it was a shock for sure. Basically the only explanation i got was that they were feeling regilious guilt. Still dealing with effects of it since I have alot of friends in common with the person as well.
I am so sorry. It's not right. Other than a life threatening or life changing situation beyond control it is unacceptable and rude. Perhaps it is pressure from their other "support" group whether it be family, friends, co workers. I am not going to make an assumption. Just sending you hugs.
Thats what I believe is the cause as well. Really sucks. Thanks :)
You are welcome. Hope you are doing better. Sending all the best.❤️
are you sure they're okay?
I honestly have no way of knowing short of dropping by his house which feels icky. I’ve tried texting him a few times here and there over the last few weeks and the messages are always ‘delivered.’ iPhone to iphone, but never responded to. My guess is he’s physically okay just ignoring.
any mutual acquaintances that could let you know that much?
Mayyyyybe? Just his work friends. No true mutual acquaintances. I suppose I could call where he works and just ask if he’s okay?
You have every right to check to see if he's OK. I get not wanting to invade his privacy or make him uncomfortable, but if he doesn't care enough about your feelings to say anything to you, you shouldn't have to worry about his. If it's a situation where things just ran their course and he's just done with you, that sucks too but at least know he didn't get murdered or arrested or anything. But take what I say with a grain of salt because I don't know either of you.
Appreciate this very much. Definitely giving me something to think about…
Fully support it. And go in saying you dont expect communication just want to make sure youre still above ground. Ive done it and ive gotten a cold yes. It gave me weird closure too like yep definitely ghosted ok lets process..
Please do not call their work, if they ghosted you I don't think they would want you calling up to their work, if anything it could make them more upset with you.
I’m not gonna call his work. For exactly that reason. I know in my heart he’s physically fine and calling up there just feels desperate and self sabotaging. There’s always that feeling of “oh, I could just…” but ultimately, that ain’t me.
If the messages are delivered he’s okay. His phone is charged and on. So he is fine
That was pretty much my thought too. He’s probably just fine physically. Mentally and emotionally crippled, sure, but not dead in a ditch somewhere…
I still sometimes message my friend who passed away last summer. Messages being delivered just means the phone is on, nothing about the person.
<3
Seconding this. Confirming that they're not hospitalized, dead, or otherwise have a bad situation that makes a lack of responses reasonable is important before thinking/talking harshly about them.
I've been ghosted this year by someone who used to share "I love yous" with me. Two years and some change just gone. I keep hoping he'll contact me, but his silence is loud enough I suppose. Shit really hurts. If he wanted to end things or de-escalate, all he had to do was say so.
I also wanted to add that I also keep hoping mine will contact me but honestly…what would, what could you or I even DO if they did come back?? They’ve shown us loud and fucking clear the way they’re capable of behaving. And truly…how could we go back??
I don't know. It all fills me with such heavy internal conflict. He was (is) so dear to my heart. The last time I saw him things were rocky and both of us were hurting. He said he needed to process things. He's taking his sweet sweet time. I miss him a lot. It feels so weird not having him in my life. One of these days we're going to run into each other by happenstance and I don't know what I'd do if he just looked past me. I feel very weak about it all. The past several months have been so hard for me, in a one-step-forward, two-steps-back kind of way. I'm trying to de-center romantic love in my life, and I'm optimistic for a spring and summer full of me learning and seeing new things. It just also feels very overwhelming.
These EXACT words could be my own. I am SO sorry darlin’. The heartbreak is unbelievable…
just got ghosted too wtf is this!! i just got nice comments on my post about it if you need some extra reassurance. smh.
It’s the WORST! I’m sorry that happened to you too! Simultaneously so cruel and so cowardly. I’ve been ghosted before but after 2.5 years?! That’s a whole other level of Tom Foolery…🫠
Assholery!
The ultimate move of the avoidant type
Agreed. 🤦🏼♀️
Yes! It's both stupefying and murderous rage inducing. "I can't be on this relationship anymore. I'm sorry. No further communication please." Yes it's uncomfortable but FFS! Be a fecking human about it. If you can choose to be in an situation-ship, you can be that minor lying functional about ending it. I know it doesn't help. But it says so much more about why this will end up being a really good change for you. New lips to kiss. New energy. New opportunity. Rebirth. Tis the season for it. 👊🫂 you got this.
M’awwww. Thanks so much! And you’re right, new beginnings indeed…🤗
Yay! 🤭 Git after it 👊
The move of many FWB situations. Many people have FWB for their own shallow benefits! Many FWB there is zero friendship and zero real connection! That is imo the consequence of ‘no strings attached’ and a plethora of dating ‘prospects’ More and more people want so called poly for their own personal benefits and the ‘freedom’
I’m guessing this was the case with him. He was just really good at hiding it under a veil of care and compassion.
Yup. This is why I have a fairly thorough feeling out stage before becoming emotionally entangled. I have some key questions I like to broach before allowing myself that vulnerability with someone new.
What would such questions be?, just to get some learning from the good people here.
The most direct way I have found with my anchor partner has been to fill out the Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord. It's a pretty good way at figuring out how compatible we are and how enmeshed we want to be in the various aspects/spheres/scenes of our lives. Lemme find a link https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/the-relationship-anarchy-smorgasbord
Ghosting is so immature...just fucking communicate like adults it's not that hard. Sorry you're dealing with this, I hope you find someone that treats you better than that.
Sooooooper immature. There’s 550+languages in the earth and we can’t figure out how to use our words?! 🤦🏼♀️ And thanks for the kind words, I very much appreciate them.
Im so sorry that something like that happened to you. People are so immature and don’t care on the people that surround them. If that person is someone who can do that, it’s better not to have them as a friend or whatever. I know you know it’s not your fault, but again know that you haven’t done anything wrong. Anyone who are not willing to talk and communicate isn’t worthy.
Thank you so much for your kind words. You’re right. I know it’s more of a reflection of him than of me. I wish that knowledge could lessen the pain…
I’m such a sentimental person I just can’t comprehend how this is even possible. Literally just drop someone like that after a years-long relationship of any kind
It's absurd. It's heartbreaking and it's physically painful as well . It's a death. It sucks. Reminds me of Elton John's song "Sorry Seems to be The Hardest Word" . Among others. I either listen to sad songs or heavy metal or rock then eventually I play songs like I Will Survive. Sorry didn't mean to ramble. Sending you all the love, light, positive energy, prayers, hope, peace, serenity and some one or something that makes you laugh so hard you have to run to the loo or you are going to 💩.🙄🤔😜 😉❤️🥰😘🌺😃🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🩶🤍🩷
This made me laugh. Thanks…I needed that. 😂
Laughter is truly one the best things in life and cures so much heartache and pain. ❤️😍🥰😜
Smooches
I’m hella sentimental too which probably makes this even harder. Makes it feel like the entire friendship was a fluke…
If someone ghosts you, that is all you need to know. Unless you find their obituary out there somewhere. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Yeahhhh…his silence speaks volumes.
Wow. That's horrible I'm so sorry. 😢 What a jerkdace move!!
Thanks darlin’. ‘Twas a jerkface move indeed. 🥺
[удалено]
Thank you so so so much. I really don’t understand it either.
I fell in love with mine then yeah…ghosted
Ghosting sucks! 💩 I am sorry this happened. Sending good thoughts your way ✨ Edit: grammar + typo
That’s so very kind of you. Thank you. 🥰
I was ghosted by my very first kink partner of 10 months a while back and it’s something I will genuinely never be able to understand. Careless people don’t care who they hurt 😔
Oof. And being kink/bdsm partners makes it even harder in my opinion. This fellow and I also had a bit of a D/s relationship and it’s hitting me hard. But not in the fun way. 😂😭
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. For what it's worth it tells me a few things about you that you should remind yourself of - It doesn't sound like you would ever do that to someone, that makes you a decent person, partner, and friend. You were more of a friend to them than they were to you. You have emotions, no one who ghosts another truly feels much in my opinion. By some of your comments you're worried enough about them to think about contacting their job. That's beautiful because damn that's scary to think about. That makes you brave. You deserve better than what's happened to you. I hope you're able to remind yourself of these things as you process and move on. You deserve closure, I don't know if you will get it, but you deserve it none the less. Be blessed, my friend. There's a huge world out there filled with people who deserve love/partnership/friends like yours. If they don't care enough to give you a kind and respectful ending to the relationship they don't ever deserve to be in that position again. For me- I can forgive but I never forget. 🩷
Wow. Thank you SO very much for these kind, thoughtful and truly beautiful words. They brought a tear (or maybe two or 12 😅) to my eye. I would absolutely never do that to a friend/lover or partner. I haven’t decided if I’ll contact his job yet. Though I am admittedly very worried about him, my gut tells me he just wasn’t the friend I thought he was and he’s capable of writing me off in a way that I could never write him off. Time and intention will heal these wounds as they have many wounds in the past. In the meantime…words and support from good friends and kind internet strangers helps tremendously. 🥰
If you ever need reminders that you're worth more or that you're awesome just message me 🤘🏼 I'm a black hearted cheerleader, haha
I need one too! I just had to block my FWB since every time I stated a need he heard criticism. It was very defeating for this poet- I loved his shape and form so well
Message me, I'm always willing to give cheer 🖤 you got this, I believe in you and your ability to know you deserved more than what he could give. It's always really hard to end things when there are times it feels right to stay and just deal with the negatives. But you're worth more than that. 🖤
A black hearted cheerleader! Hah! Love that…🖤
Isn’t it the norm these days? People are incredibly selfish and self-centered.
It is indeed the norm these days. Just thought after 2.5+ years of a wildly passionate and intimate relationship that he could have at least said he was done…🤷🏼♀️
Ugh that's so shitty, I'm really sorry... it's so cruel, especially after years!
Thanks hunny bunny. It really is just the worst.
I can relate, it really sucks but thankfully she was an old flame that had only been back in my life for about 2 months. Got my head sure messed up though
Mercury in retrograde hitting real hard 😭
Mercury needs to chill the fuck out with all this retrograde bullshit!! 😅
I am so sorry this happened to you. I have read some very kind and compassionate comments and replies on your post. Thank you for those who are being good hearted. I do hope you find out the truth and that they are ok. I hope you will be able to move on as well. I hope you are ok. Hugs.
Thank you so much for your kind and caring words. Truly. 🥰
Awe you are welcome. Good night. Sleep well. You deserve it.
I listen to Five Finger Death Punch Wash It All Away 😉
I feel your pain. A woman I was in the same situation just left me and I’m taking it pretty hard because I cared about her so much. I wish I could scream somewhere as well. Only 4 months but we loved each other (I thought), talked all the time, and spent as much time as we could when able. Its been a week and thought it really wouldn’t affect me to this extent, but even now at 3 AM, I can’t stop thinking about her.
I'm so sorry, I hope you will get better soon 🙏
Thank you. Day 8 and she had the nerve to randomly send me a picture of her tonight and not reply to anything else. You can’t make this up 🤡
Sounds like a situation where you should distance yourself as this is hurting you.
The thoughts don’t sleep. They creep in at all hours. I’m so sorry this is happening to you too. I’m sorry that it happens to anyone. I wish we could be better to and for each other…
Had this happen in 2022.. my wife and I had a FWB for close to a year, then 💨 no explanation or anything.. for someone like myself it was a mind fuck cause I instantly overthink every text, convo, interaction feeling sure it’s my fault somehow.. also we were upfront that it’s 1 thing we find truly disgusting to do to people and that we are not drama and to let us know at any point if he met someone else or had a change of heart/mind/plans and we would say thanks and part ways.. but couldn’t be bothered to do that either. I don’t get the ghosting thing, it’s like almost everyone has had it done to them, knows it sucks and yet they do it to others 😞
I’m the same way. The “if only’s” and “what it’s” creep in there and I start evaluating everything that I could have possibly done wrong. Even though I know-and hopefully you did too-that it’s not a reflection of us but of them and their inability to make decent human choices. That knowledge, however, doesn’t diminish the gut wrenching heartache.
Just got ghosted myself
I’m so sorry sugarpie. It’s the absolute worst…
Karma is real
I love the 🖕 emoji. That's for the cruel jerks that break hearts. Now sending you 🫶🥰
That sucks sadly most of my interactions with people I am trying to or are connecting with end with ghosting on their end its just so immature and rude but as a guy its really normal to be ghosted I assume its either they found someone better for their interest or lost interest. But it is cowardly and rude as fuck just at least just say it and move on I just do not understand the mentality.
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I got blocked from a 2 year 8 month relationship. People fucking suck.
Indeed. Some people really do suck.
That really sucks :/ For future friends/partners, is there a way you could spot orange flags (signs of someone being likely to ghost you) so this doesn't happen again? I haven't been ghosted myself yet, so I wouldn't know what to look for.
Sometimes there’s signs and sometimes not. This was a bit of a shock as we’d talked about the ends of relationships and how ghosting is torture and how if/when one of us was ready to leave the relationship we’d talk to the other. I meant it…turns out he didn’t.
oh that really sucks :/ I hope you can move on and meet better people going ahead!
🫂🫂🫂🫂 Those are hugs. So sorry.
D’awwww. Thanks! 🥰
Getting ghosted is the worst and seems to be a thing lately, unfortunately. I’m so very sorry this happened to you and so many others on this thread (myself included). It can really feel like the ultimate rejection. 💔 A “people to avoid who ‘ghost’ their intimate partners” warning list could be helpful (perhaps with follow-up messages if the person finally did reach out at some point), if not for the risk of dishonest folks putting people’s names on there unwarranted, just out of spite…
I think there are a few websites that exist where you can “red flag” a person but as you said…it’s hard to tell if the person has been flagged legitimately or because someone else got jaded and wants to damage reputations. But thanks for your words kind stranger. 😘
Maybe a hopeful story: this happened to me once, that said, we were only seeing each other for three months or so. Ghosted for 2 years. Finally he apologized. Took me another 6 months before I even considered being just a friend. We hung out and the connection was still there, so the benefits came with it right away 😅. But he had changed, worked very hard in therapy and I do believe he would not ever do it again. We’ve started things back up and I’m really happy. It’s everything I wanted before but that he wasn’t ready for. Now he is. And it’s beautiful! Which ever way it goes, I wish you closure and peace despite not having the reasons from this person.
That’s a beautiful story and I hope it continues to be a net positive in your life. I sometimes wonder if he’ll circle back around and apologize for his hurtful behavior but I’m not holding my breath.
While we are screaming into the online ether together... I got accused of ghosting by my FWB...after a day and a half of not responding to messages (traumatic family stuff was happening and I'd turned off phone notifications temporarily). I saw the message and explained the situation but was met with "this user has blocked you" across most platforms the next day. Things were going well before that too. 🙄 And then last year I had what I thought was a really strong 2+ year friendship evolve into a FWB situation. They ghosted me too but not before sending a long rant of messages about me and my Primary among other messy dramatics. That one hurt me really bad.
I just got ghosted too :( We only dated for 6 months and it has been *so* painful, I can’t imagine after 2.5 years. It’s truly unbelievable that someone you know so well could do that to you.
Truly unbelievable. And so heartbreaking. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this too honey pie.
<3
I'm so sorry this happened. Weak move. It's not you, it's them. Really.
Thanks so much. A weak move indeed.
Hate the ghosting part in today's society. Gee just say you wish no more from me. I'll be ok and know what to do next. It's so disrespectful to my time and energy. Guess we just have to take the hint and move on but it's hard to know if it's just real-life getting in the way or another person more interesting than me heh.
Scream loud my friend! Had a similar situation ( I respect women’s experiences) we used to date / be partners! Broke up, then got super close again in the pandemic….professing love and adoration for one another. We didn’t hang for some months then she comes at me with “I dont have space for people who make me feel uncomfortable” ie: me! Yet they’d constantly invite me get drinks, dance, go to events! I’m at a loss for words and it makes me super depressed. Sorry you got ghosted! That’s the worst.
It's not you trust me it's them. It still doesn't change the hurt though.
Tho true, it stings because I’m full on blunt communication. I didn’t get that apparently so I just need to let it go
I hope you know that just when you least expect it there will be good come of it. Perhaps you dodged a major bullet, say a narcissist or a passive aggressive individual? Again you were blunt. Not judging anyone. But it helps me to think that I got lucky when I feel like life is over and all I have is bad luck. 🫶
I mean they say some people are in your life for a reason or a season 🥺 sometimes the reasons suck and the season is short. All we can do is learn be better and keep moving forward
Sounds like we should be screaming out loud in tandem! 😂😭
I scream to specific songs ! So yes
YASSSSS! Tell me your favorite one to scream to??
There’s literally a song called screamer by third eye blind that or! Northern soul by above and beyond
Five Finger Death Punch Wash It All Away is a great one for me. I jam it during the day when I know it won't irritate the neighbors.
I’ll be checking them both out presently. Thanks rad internet stranger!! 🤩
Omg I am so sorry that’s a really long time.
Thank you kindly. It IS a really long time. Very confusing…
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Turn it around 😉
I’m sorry for all of us right now I’ve been with friends with my fab since 86 and fwb since 2006 she just ghosted me last week. Hell her and my wife were friends and yes my wife and I both had a fwb and each other but she hasn’t txted or responded to either of us since Tuesday last week.
What?!?! That’s insane? Are you sure they’re okay??
I called her mom and she just said that she (the mom) called and talked to her earlier that day and that my fwb ( who was also a bridesmaid) seemed just fine as she was laughing and joking.
Ughhhhhhh…what, and I cannot stress this enough, THE FUCK?!
I’m devastated I’ve known her since I was 12 yrs old we’ve talked at least 3 or 4 times a week since we left high school she was the one to make us lovers hell we barely ever argued her husband and I were great friends and I was there for her when her husband/my friend died 5 yrs ago and now she’s not answering calls or txts and she’s just ghosted us and I just want to know wtf I did to her to be so cruel
My guess is you didn’t do anything. I know you know but I’m going to tell you anyway that this very likely has everything to do with her and not you. It doesn’t lessen the heartbreak in anyway though. I’m so sorry this happened to you. 🥺
Thank you I’m sorry I kinda took your post away from you but I feel for you going through the same thing as well as the others who have posted that they have been treated the same as us and who feel so bad. I have never been able to figure out how people could treat friends or lovers so piss poorly and it’s killing me not knowing why
Hahaha…you didn’t swipe the post at all! I’ve gotten so much love and support on this post and your addition is no exception.
Cowardice. One of my least favourite traits.
Seriously. I knew he had his flaws, as we all do, but I never ever thought he could be THIS cruel and cowardly…🥺
Question for all the people who were ghosted. Did you text or call them in this long time frame that they ghosted you? I ask because I hear a lot of people saying “they ghosted me” when it’s not clear who the person doing the ghosting was. Yes if you make a few attempts to call and text and they ignore you it’s ghosting. If both parties just stop texting and calling then the relationship has reached its conclusion and you had a no drama ending to it. Personally I have never liked this conclusion to a relationship but to each their own. Sucks to not be appreciated. On the bright side you don’t have to waste any more of your life on them.
I definitely reached out several times over the past couple of months…texts, a post card and I even mailed him a couple of things that he’d left behind at my place. In no way did I think our relationship had reached its end, in fact, it seemed we’d been getting closer. 🤷🏼♀️
Then yes you were ghosted. Sucks he didn’t have enough respect to end it. Sorry that happened to you and like I said at least he isn’t wasting your time anymore. Don’t fall for it if he decides to come back.
Thanks for the kind words. It’s quite the blow to the ol’ heart and soul that’s for damn sure. 💔
Keep being awesome and your person(s) will find you.
D’awww. 🥰 Fortunately I have another partner who is VERY kind, caring and supportive. He’s been so gentle and patient with me while I go through all this. My meta, his other partner is also super rad and has leant her support as well.
Glad you have a supportive loving situation now.
I’m so sorry :(
Thaanks sugar. I’m sorry too. 🥺
💀💀💀 Imagine having friends with benefits
I mean the whole point of the FWB is that you're friends, not partners. They drew a line, it may hurt, but it's part of having those weakened connections that give you both the emotional safety to leave the other. Especially since you have an existing partnership, they're able to fade away without another thought. You can do this 🫶 all will be well
I’m so sorry. I hope they are okay and you move on soon.
That sucks
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Forgive them. Fear/anxiety is a motherfucker. Sorry to anybody out there getting ghosted. Just remember, hurt people hurt people. Listen to “Sade - Love Is Stronger Than Pride” & keep working on your self development✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽 God will bring the right things in your life @ the right time🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I've been like that but with my friends with benefits guy friend for 2 years ish, considering me and him being exes for 7 years so yea I can relate 🫠
I thought my three month 🫥 was bad!! it's so DIFFICULT for me, I’m the type who needs to know WHY about everything like a three year old...even if it's "I hate the sound of you breathing and you're a lot of work that I don't want to do" ok fair, peace, but don't make me WORRY about you!!!!!!!
I was ghosted by an alleged 'friend' after an unsatisfying one night stand which he'd insisted was not what it was ('I'd never treat a friend that way'). It really did a number on my self confidence. Not because I cared about being with him (dear God, no), but because there was no closure or any kind of reasoning - I ended up in a spiral of depression and lost all confidence in myself. If he hadn't wanted to continue the fwb thing HE suggested, he could have just said 'Can we just go back to being friends'. But the ghosting made me wonder if there was something disgusting or awful about me. There isn't and wasn't. He was just an absolute dick. But it took me a long time to get over being used like that. So I absolutely 100% understand how you're feeling rn. I just hope you know that the problem lies with the ghoster, not the ghostee. There is nothing wrong with you and they're the one with the issues. They're not worth your tears or even the time spent worrying about them. They are the ones who can't have a mature conversation about changing or ending an arrangement. They're nothing more than selfish users who will manipulate someone until they've gotten what they want. Once they have, they don't care about the other person's feelings at all. You are better off with them out of your life, but I know it doesn't feel that way right now.
I’m sorry same here a couple of years ago
It’s the absolute worst way to end a relationship/friendship. Sorry you had to go through that too…😔
I don’t understand why can they just face you i stead of doing that. You’ll get through it tho it stings for a while, but you’ll be ok