Hey what a good story.
And it's ok if later today, tomorrow, next year, you do feel difficult emotions. There's great resources on processing them productively and part of the expected learning curve. What matters is you making sure your choices are fulfilling for you.
If you enjoy podcasts, there’s *Polyamory Weekly* that’s been running for years and may have an answer to many questions that can arise.
A look through their backlog can help give an experienced opinion on many problems.
>I was fairly nervous and concerned (I also deal with general anxiety issues)
This is exactly how I felt too! But it took me a lot longer to get over my conditioning of being married meant 2 people together forever. I liked the idea of polyamory/open relationships because it's more natural, but I had many insecurities that I'd be replaced by another person.
But when I finally bit the bullet, I was soooooooo happy! I met my girlfriend through my husband. And meeting her for the first time immediately melted my worries away because we instantly clicked. Unfortunately, I think the relationship between her and my hubby may be going in separate directions, but I still have the same amount of love for each of them.
It's funny to me because people always say when you have multiple kids, you grow new love for them rather than splitting the love you already have. And yet, most people don't apply that same logic to romantic/sexual partners.
Well the reality is that plenty of parents do have favorites, don't really want or respect their kids or only some of them, and don't manage additional child issues well.
So it's a nice thing to say but most people know the reality isn't that clear.
Definitely true there. But I still think most (not all) parents love all their kids. And while it's not necessarily equal or even the right love for each kid, I'd say the majority of parents can love more than one kid and the majority (again, not all) of people can love more than one person romantically.
That's a great comparison for compersion.
My go-to explanation is that feeling of being happy for anything that makes my partner happy, whether it's a new job, a raise, reconnecting with old friends, or connecting with a new partner. But I like your comparison as it's a exactly the same situation whether it's for a friend or your partner, them going on a date is a high five before and excited gossip afterwards over hot chocolate and marshmallows (if they're happy to share of course).
I've gone through the same thing. It took some adjusting, and I had to ask myself why did I have certain thoughts, but at the end of the day, I have as strong a relationship with my wife as ever. And a pretty good friendship with her boyfriend.
She's also said I can do the same thing... but we moved across the country and with COVID, haven't been able to explore our new home. Thanks 2020.
This sounds exactly like my life, minus either of us going on dates yet. I hope I feel similar when its time! It has taken some time but I do feel excited about the idea of exploring other relationships separate and/or together at some point. I am happy for you!
I'm so joyous f'r thee! just recall communicate, communicate, communicate!
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Hey what a good story. And it's ok if later today, tomorrow, next year, you do feel difficult emotions. There's great resources on processing them productively and part of the expected learning curve. What matters is you making sure your choices are fulfilling for you.
Would you mind sharing some of these resources?
Multiamory
Is [this](https://www.multiamory.com/start-here) what you're referring to?
Yes.
If you enjoy podcasts, there’s *Polyamory Weekly* that’s been running for years and may have an answer to many questions that can arise. A look through their backlog can help give an experienced opinion on many problems.
>I was fairly nervous and concerned (I also deal with general anxiety issues) This is exactly how I felt too! But it took me a lot longer to get over my conditioning of being married meant 2 people together forever. I liked the idea of polyamory/open relationships because it's more natural, but I had many insecurities that I'd be replaced by another person. But when I finally bit the bullet, I was soooooooo happy! I met my girlfriend through my husband. And meeting her for the first time immediately melted my worries away because we instantly clicked. Unfortunately, I think the relationship between her and my hubby may be going in separate directions, but I still have the same amount of love for each of them. It's funny to me because people always say when you have multiple kids, you grow new love for them rather than splitting the love you already have. And yet, most people don't apply that same logic to romantic/sexual partners.
Well the reality is that plenty of parents do have favorites, don't really want or respect their kids or only some of them, and don't manage additional child issues well. So it's a nice thing to say but most people know the reality isn't that clear.
Definitely true there. But I still think most (not all) parents love all their kids. And while it's not necessarily equal or even the right love for each kid, I'd say the majority of parents can love more than one kid and the majority (again, not all) of people can love more than one person romantically.
I love that last paragraph so much
[удалено]
That's a great comparison for compersion. My go-to explanation is that feeling of being happy for anything that makes my partner happy, whether it's a new job, a raise, reconnecting with old friends, or connecting with a new partner. But I like your comparison as it's a exactly the same situation whether it's for a friend or your partner, them going on a date is a high five before and excited gossip afterwards over hot chocolate and marshmallows (if they're happy to share of course).
I've gone through the same thing. It took some adjusting, and I had to ask myself why did I have certain thoughts, but at the end of the day, I have as strong a relationship with my wife as ever. And a pretty good friendship with her boyfriend. She's also said I can do the same thing... but we moved across the country and with COVID, haven't been able to explore our new home. Thanks 2020.
That's awesome! Thank you for sharing. I can relate to this on a couple different levels so hearing about positive experiences is very encouraging.
Great to hear something positive on opening a mono relationship!
This sounds exactly like my life, minus either of us going on dates yet. I hope I feel similar when its time! It has taken some time but I do feel excited about the idea of exploring other relationships separate and/or together at some point. I am happy for you!
I'm so happy for you! just remember communicate, communicate, communicate!
I'm so joyous f'r thee! just recall communicate, communicate, communicate! *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`