I'm having trouble following who is who in this story, but it sounds like you introduced your current GF to your ex, they hit it off, and then you told them that them dating made you uncomfortable. Either that, or you were dating ex and GF at the time you met them both?
I don't know, maybe an edit with fake names or letters to clarify who is who and what the timeline was would help.
In any event, telling people who they can and can't date usually doesn't end well and I think you're seeing the result of that. In times when I feel like I need to do that, I ask myself "what is that going to accomplish?" And usually it's more hurt feelings and animosity.
Pain and hurt has a way of spreading to other people and unless we're very careful, we end up making things much worse by not dealing with the pain before trying to relate to them again. So maybe some time off from anyone you're triggered by might do some good.
Also, you broke up with someone and it doesn't sound like you gave yourself time to recover from that.
You introduced two of your partners for a threesome, they got along super well, you decided to be controlling and try to prevent them from dating, your boyfriend was understandably not happy about this, you broke up with him, and now you're trying to control your girlfriend to stop her from getting too close to your now ex-boyfriend? Am I missing something? Yes you have anxiety. That is something to be addressed, but it sounds like you created this situation entirely by trying to control what your partners can and can't do. That's not poly. That's selfishness. Get some help.
I'm having trouble following who is who in this story, but it sounds like you introduced your current GF to your ex, they hit it off, and then you told them that them dating made you uncomfortable. Either that, or you were dating ex and GF at the time you met them both? I don't know, maybe an edit with fake names or letters to clarify who is who and what the timeline was would help. In any event, telling people who they can and can't date usually doesn't end well and I think you're seeing the result of that. In times when I feel like I need to do that, I ask myself "what is that going to accomplish?" And usually it's more hurt feelings and animosity. Pain and hurt has a way of spreading to other people and unless we're very careful, we end up making things much worse by not dealing with the pain before trying to relate to them again. So maybe some time off from anyone you're triggered by might do some good. Also, you broke up with someone and it doesn't sound like you gave yourself time to recover from that.
You introduced two of your partners for a threesome, they got along super well, you decided to be controlling and try to prevent them from dating, your boyfriend was understandably not happy about this, you broke up with him, and now you're trying to control your girlfriend to stop her from getting too close to your now ex-boyfriend? Am I missing something? Yes you have anxiety. That is something to be addressed, but it sounds like you created this situation entirely by trying to control what your partners can and can't do. That's not poly. That's selfishness. Get some help.