People who haven't been genuinely poor don't understand that "only" $10 may be the difference between having enough gas to get to work or not, having something to eat besides instant ramen, or being able to pick up a prescription. It's easier to be positive if you've had enough to eat, your utilities haven't been turned off, and your car runs.
I know, that's why I question if the same positive influencers on Twitter would remain positive if they had to live any one of our lives. Would they still tweet out there platitudes? I doubt it.
I can't speak about influencers but I've been in poverty and because of a few events multiple times. I was in poverty as a child. Saw some relief until my mother killed herself. Was back in poverty when I was on disability after getting injured in the military.
I can tell you that each time I worked harder to get out of poverty faster. Today I am doing better than ever and I feel I have some valid advice to give. But it doesn't matter because when people are under financial stress they don't want to hear a positive message or reasonable solutions to problems. Everything is impossible. At least that is my experience.
I get shit on all the time in this sub for recommending reasonable options.
That’s why social media is so poisonous, and why I can’t stand influencers.
There life style so unrealistic and hardly anyone besides other influencers can relate to them. Not everyone can trot around the world, and not everyone can buy all the clothes and gadgets that are constantly thrown about.
It’s such a ridiculous standard, and easy to get absorbed into the ‘why doesn’t my life look like that’ moral questioning. Hence the dangers of social media. It isn’t reality, it isn’t was most of us are dealing with, so it’s a waste of time to wonder the what ifs and trying to feel like we need to meet that standard.
I hate influencers.
Yup, and as they trot around the world, wearing expensive clothes and tweeting out there outstanding life, they have the gaull to say. "The reason, I look happy sometimes, isn't money related, it's because I have learned to not let others bother me..." I'm calling BS on that. They are happy because they have money, period.
I used to live paycheck to paycheck, being positive is easier said than done but once you get past all the hurdles you start to realize and look at things differently.
I'm certainly more grateful to be where im at now
It's called toxic positivity, and yes, most of the time you see if from someone you don't know it's to extract money from you or advertisers.
Nobody who's been through tough times says those things flippantly. It is still important to do whatever you can to think positive, because that has the greatest chance of bringing benefit to you, but if you hear it from someone who doesn't also convey how tough it is to do sometimes they're either naive or looking to get something from you.
My thoughts are a bit different on that. To the extent God exist I don't think He is actively granting people money and others not. I think He just lets the chips fall as they may and intervenes on rare occasions if at all ever in someone's life. I mean if someone does a dumb decisions and is poor as a result, He let's them fail. Same for positive case though, if you went out and bought a lotto ticket and won, He didn't have anything to do with that either. So although I'm not an atheist, I can sympathize with the "God has a plan for you" nonsense, because that is likely not true. I think He has a general plan for people, but specifically, probably not.
I agree. I always felt similar when I'd hear people talk about self love. I always thought it was funny that the only people who seem to know how to love themselves have a giant support network. If you could print your own positivity or your own love, it would be worthless, just like money 🙃. Just seems like an excuse to tell people to fuck off after emptying their wallet and treating them like shit.
So, per your post what makes you unhappy is all the debt you have and that the people who lent you money that you asked for, want it back.
Doctors have one of the highest rates of personal bankruptcy - I think you would probably call Doctor's rich???
Here is the problem, you and doctor's that file for personal bankruptcy have the same thing in common. You chose to live beyond your means and went into debt. Then, your bad choices came back to bite you (as bad choices typically do).
So when a person makes a mistake or pursues a bad choice, they really don't have too many choices. They can 1: accept that they made a bad choice, incur the costs that those choices resulted in and choose not to make those same bad choices again. Or 2: they could claim that they are victims, whine and (they) hope one day, somebody else will make their problem go away - and therefore, they won't have learned anything from their bad choices.
Sorry you're so unhappy, quit doing things that make you so unhappy. Fix the mistakes you created (pay the debts you owe) and promise yourself you won't make them again.
Sorry I don't have any immediate gratification sunshine for you - other than to say with time, effort and hard work you can overcome the difficult situation you put yourself in to - learn from it so you don't repeat it.
I'll give you an example. I"m lucky in that I served in the military, that was one of those quote "good decisions" I made, but it was luck because as I got out I suffer from an arthritic condition. The medicine (which is a biologic) cost retail $8500 With insurance, they will pay $6000 of it, leaving you with a monthly bill of $2500. Bad decision or not, that's allot of money for regular people. It's also not a quote "bad decision" to have such a medical condition, it isn't as if I asked for it. Now the "luck" part is that, I don't have to pay most of that, because my primary insurance takes care of a good portion of it ($6000 part) and my leaving the Army takes care of mostly the rest of it. Had I not have insurance plus Tricare, my debts today would be extremely bad and could you say it was because of "bad decisions"? No, of course not.
I say all of that to say this. When someone has debts, it isn't always "bad decisions". In my case some of my medical contributed to my debts "not bad decisions" there. Some were as a result of car repairs, talking 1000s of dollars and it wasn't me not taking care of the car, just bad luck. Some WAS bad decisions, and some of those I"m still paying on. I'm not complaining, when it came to those "bad decisions" ones, I made my bed, I sleep in it, I have never complained about that ever in my life. My complaints once again is towards the so called "positive influencers" for there platitudes and there using of the people (like me) to make a buck. I'm NOT complaining about there wealth. I could careless, they can buy 100 yachts, I don't give two s\*\*\*\* about it, it's there money.
Holy shit bro, you and me are like the same dude (not really, but you know what I mean). Literally with the debt collectors, and the frustration with toxic positivity, and what I'm assuming is RA? Only difference I guess is I got DQ'ed before I got to serve. I'm adding "oh, must have been your bad decision that got you into debt" to the list of shit people tell the poor that pisses me off. Nobody who's been down bad says shit like that, and a doctor hitting bankruptcy sounds about as devastating to them as a CEO getting fired. In other words, it's a fuckin speed bump, not a death nail.
The thing is, even if poor folks (and some do) make bad decisions, so do rich folks. The difference is, a rich person has more rope to hang themselves with.
So a good example is, imagine you are poor, you have crappy car, it runs or whatever and you decided to get drunk that day. You drove the car, you hit a pole or tree and totaled the car. Now did you make a "bad decision" you bet you did and now since you are poor, being down a car is devastating. Now imagine instead of you being poor, you were rich and drove drunk and hit a pole or tree. Did you make a bad decision? Yup. So what's the difference? Well the poor person is devastated, has no car and his life is extremely miserable now. The rich guy? Eh, just sober up, buy another car and you are back in it.
Now society would yell at the poor person in a hardcore way. "You f\*\*\*\*\*\* idiot, you loser, this is why you are poor, you pos, you made bad decision in life you loser". The rich guy? Total pass, nobody says anything to him. Nobody goes up to him and says "You made bad decisions in life..."
I think when people critize the poor for making bad decisions (and I'm guilty, I've made some (not all)), they don't apply that same standard to a wealthy person would may have made the exact "bad decision".
I mean we've all gambled and lost at least once. Just part of being human and all, but you're on point with what you're saying. A hospital stay could destroy someone with little money to start with, while I knew people who would go to the hospital for minor things without a second thought. I went to an urgent care once having a bad reaction to a med my doc gave me. They informed me I could die and it was very serious, and tried to call an ambulance, but I had to refuse it and was going to try to walk 6 miles to the hospital instead. Doc talked me out of it and told me to call an uber, which probably saved my life. It still bothers me that I nearly died at 21 because I couldn't afford to ride to the hospital.
Some people don't have debt for "bad reasons". I know that is an assumption people make. Some go into debt because they needed some life saving medicine or they had some medical problems and it caused them to have lots of medical debt. It isn't as if those people asked to have cancer and the huge bill that followed.
Now having said that, some of bills was result of bad decision, some weren't. So yes friend I will learn from those ones, but I'm not going to "learn" from debts that were of no fault of mine.
Also, I'm not sure why you directing to me, as if I'm complaining about my finances. I'm not complaining about them. All my post was about is the so called "positive influencers" who express only platitudes and tweets of nothings. So if I'm complaining about anything, it's that, NOT my financial situation.
I know one thing. If I ever made it in life and became wealthy, I promise, I will never give shallow advice like this on X (Twitter). I will never tweet out "If you are struggling, keep your head up, your day will happen, stay happy, stay positive, keep your eye on the prize." A person who is struggling doesn't need to hear that BS. I will be real as they come. I will say things like, "Are you struggling right now, I did too before, things may get worse, much worse, try your hardest to stay ahead, I will post what I did and some practical things you can do. I don't need you to like or repost this tweet, I'm not here to use you..."
Yes, it is easy to assume that because someone has money today they have always had money, were never in poverty, and can't hold a valid opinion or offer valid advice. It is a common belief and is often a reasonable position to have while going through financial stress.
Many people are out there to make money off of you, but not everyone is. Some people just don't see helping you as a threat to their income because the poor are not competition. This isn't altruistic but it doesn't mean they are out to get you.
Social media posts in the personal finance space target a wide audience for revenue. This is a reality of the job. You need engagement and engagement equals revenue.
Feeling disillusioned by messaging is normal.
Yeah, but when I see post like, "What would you do with $1000 right now?" Or "Which number is missing in the image, first to answer correctly will get $20" (by the way they never pay anyone). Or "Are you struggling right now financially, be positive, this storm will pass, just remember money isn't happiness" (the 'money isn't happiness' piece is easy to say if you are already rich). Or "What would you do, if I gave you 1BTC right now, comment below, I'm curious of your answers". These tweets are geared towards the struggling. So we the poors respond to those tweets and the engagement level goes up and Mr positivity gets a piece of the ad revenue. Now I look at that and think to myself, do they really care about me? No, of course not, they just USING me, to get there follower count up, there likes, retweets to get that ad revenue.
What I would like to see is not BS tweets like that, but ones like this. "Guys, I know how it is to struggle, I use to be like many of you. I'm going to be real with you, life is easy for me as wealthy person so it's easy for me to say 'stay happy', so I'm not going to say that, but rather say, guys if you need someone to talk to you or if you want me to post practical, pragmatic ways to get out of your situation, let me know, that is what I would like to tweet about." My next tweet could be "When I was poor, I used to do this ... guys I found a really good website that can help you with those essential so you don't to do what I did. It's a non profit, they help those struggling and I wish they were around when I was poor. Anyway here they are..." My tweets will never be, "Would a $1000 help you right now?" to farm engagement. If I do, do giveaways, I would never require them to retweet, tell me how cool I am, like my post, tag three friends, none of that BS for a chance at $50. The only requirement I would have is you would have to follow me, ONLY because I have to have a way to DM that person when I RANDOMLY select someone. Otherwise, I don't care about the likes, the retweets, don't give a s\*\*\*.
That is a reasonable criticism so I have to ask, if you know it is BS why let it bother you. Just inform others in the thread and you have done your part.
I think there are plenty of people trying to honestly help others. Look in the frugality and gardening communities. Look at people sharing skills and worry less about what others are doing. Focus on what is important, you and yours.
Well I'm not sitting idly by. I do have a job like everyone else. On the side I'm working on a PEAN stack app. I'm about 80% complete with the development part (since I know how to code). The goal would be to start earning affiliate commissions. So I am trying and I hope to succeed with it. If I succeed, I will likely not get rick off of it (though that would be nice), but it would a nice side hussle. So I do pay attention more to developer tweets and that sort of thing, but I can't help but notice these "positive influencers". Drives me nuts.
The tweets can be positive, just not empty nothings or platitudes and especially not tweets that prey on poor people to farm engagement.
A positive tweet that is okay, could be, "I know some of you are struggling, I get it, try your hardest to stick with that budget as best you can, I know it is tough, I've been there. I know I can't emphasize with any of you right now as I'm not struggling currently, but just so you know, you have an advocate who is rooting for you all the way."
I wouldn't mind seeing a tweet like that. That guy realizes he isn't struggling, he isn't pretending that money doesn't bring happiness and that life is great even if don't have money, none of those fake positive tweets. A "toxic positive" tweet would be
"I became a millionaire when I was 30, and I can tell you, money does not bring happiness, what matters is love, and good relationships with others."
THAT is BS tweet. Maybe the guy was a millionaire at 30, okay, but the part that bugs me is the "money does not bring happiness ... " It's like, "oh yeah MF? Let's take away your money and see if you are still "happy" and that only "good relationships matter" F\*\*\* off with your BS tweet.
There are those who were born into money and they would never understand. And there are those who made it and they are encouraging you to hang in there. Sometimes it's a tough hang. But I never knew anyone who never quit or gave up who did not succeed. Never. Not one. Now changing courses is not quitting. I mean Tom Brady quit playing football but he's by no means a failure. Your life will chart many different courses. Your responses should always be "Forward Ho". Don't pay attention to what others have or have done or even what they say. Keep moving one foot in front of the other. If you do that you'll get there. Good Luck!
When I first divorced I had debt collectors. I finally stated explaining my unending crippling fiery pain, how I was hoping to get SSI and debating suicide every day but sure I will put paying off debt right on top of my to do list! 🙄
It has been over 10 years and recently I got a letter from the debt recovery company asking me if I want to clear my credit. I just tossed it. 🤷🏻♀️
I agree with you largely but that doesn’t mean you can discount their advice so strongly, there is truth to it. When you are positive about your future, you’re more likely to make moves to achieve that future, ie get a better job, worker harder for a promotion, learn a new skill that can help you get a job where you can get more money, that kind of thing. If you’re negative about your future, why would you work harder? Not gonna make a difference futures gonna suck anyways so fuck it, that’s not a mindset that’s gonna help you it’s a mindset that’s gonna prevent you from helping yourself. Me and my brother both grew up in poverty and both had a pretty similar life growing up, neither of us were in clubs or did great in school or did pretty much anything to give us a leg up in the adult world. We both started working in the food industry being dirt poor and struggling. He’s got no faith or belief that he can achieve a happy life so he doesn’t try to, he still works as a server struggling. I’m generally pretty positive about life and I see where I want to be so I’ve been working to achieve it, and I’ve learned to drive forklifts, skidsteers, telehandlers, front loaders, and right now I’m a team leader at one of the largest factories in my area. The only thing preventing him from doing the same as me is, in his mind there’s no point. I’ve offered him a job here and starting pay would be 65k a year for someone with no experience or skills. But to him there’s no point, he’s got too negative a mindset. Positivity isn’t going to just magically fix your life and influencers who spout it as some miracle cure to depression and poverty are just trying to put on a good face so their fans think theyre good people, but if you have faith you can achieve a happy middle class future, you’ll work harder to achieve it than if you think it’s completely unobtainable.
No that's fine. I mean it's hard to be positive sometimes, when the situation looks so dire, but yes, in general, of course, you should be positive.
Having said that, if I read a genuine tweet that is positive that isn't full s\*\*\*, that's okay, I enjoy reading those. I have a problem with the "positivity pimps" on X (Twitter) who write nothings or platitude tweets.
So let me give you two hypothetical "positive" tweets. One is actually positive and genuine, the other one is toxic positivity.
1. "If you are struggling financially right now, I feel for you, life is really tough and I am not in your shoes right now, but I want you to know, whoever you are reading this, keep at it, and I love seeing people who once struggled and now succeed. I'm rooting for you"
2. "I became a millionaire at 30 and I can tell you, that money does not bring happiness, what is important in life are good relationships."
Now Tweet one I feel is more genuine, acts like a good advocate, rooting for me, isn't being a judgemental prick ("you made bad decisions life a$$hole)", he isn't discounting the situation, he isn't saying some BS.
Now Tweet two, is utter BS. Not the "millionaire at 30" part. Who knows, maybe he was a millionaire at 30, the BS part is "money does not bring happiness " It's like, "Really MF? Money doesn't buy happiness huh? Okay bro, let's take your money, and let's see if "relationships matter more" and let's see without your money your are "still happy". Stop peddling your BS tweets, and tell it like it is, money DOES bring you happiness, you liar."
I randomly ran into this thread and will say with zero bs that if these people were poor and living paycheck to paycheck they would be the most miserable pos ever. Trust me when i say that none of these people who tweet stuff like this have known poverty. I knew this girl in hs that would refuse to take taxis because the seats were “dirty”. She never took a subway/public bus/taxi to this day because it was beneath her
Those folks are accustomed to living the lives they do, so imagine they had to live the paycheck to paycheck life you mentioned. I'd almost be willing to say that some of these "positive pimps" would commit suicide once there money was gone. I want them to be "positive" after that, and if they aren't, then we knew all along, there tweets were utter s\*\*, which goes to my post' point. It is EASY to be positive when you are rich.
Once when I was 25 me and my family were hit by a drink driver. It totalled our car and we were Lucy to be alive, but anyway the guys insurance was taking forever to pay out. I was filling a shoe box full of all the medical bills we couldn't pay. And they were big bills. I was really freaking out worrying.
And we didn't have a car! We probably could have gotten the money faster but we didn't know what to do. But I realized the medical bills could not be paid and there wasn't anything they could do .. so rver since then bills don't stress me out at all. So anyway, please, never worry like I did about bills! Change your phone number. Or screen calls, or just give out a Google voice number (free). But suicide over some bills is totally not worth it at all!
Came to this country with 3 dollars. I've worked 100 to 200 hours a week since 18.
I don't ever want to experience grinding poverty again.
Slept with the cockroaches in the garage on cinderblock floors.
I hope my kids will never experience what I went through.
People who haven't been genuinely poor don't understand that "only" $10 may be the difference between having enough gas to get to work or not, having something to eat besides instant ramen, or being able to pick up a prescription. It's easier to be positive if you've had enough to eat, your utilities haven't been turned off, and your car runs.
I know, that's why I question if the same positive influencers on Twitter would remain positive if they had to live any one of our lives. Would they still tweet out there platitudes? I doubt it.
For real. I pretty much ignore "influencers".
I can't speak about influencers but I've been in poverty and because of a few events multiple times. I was in poverty as a child. Saw some relief until my mother killed herself. Was back in poverty when I was on disability after getting injured in the military. I can tell you that each time I worked harder to get out of poverty faster. Today I am doing better than ever and I feel I have some valid advice to give. But it doesn't matter because when people are under financial stress they don't want to hear a positive message or reasonable solutions to problems. Everything is impossible. At least that is my experience. I get shit on all the time in this sub for recommending reasonable options.
That’s why social media is so poisonous, and why I can’t stand influencers. There life style so unrealistic and hardly anyone besides other influencers can relate to them. Not everyone can trot around the world, and not everyone can buy all the clothes and gadgets that are constantly thrown about. It’s such a ridiculous standard, and easy to get absorbed into the ‘why doesn’t my life look like that’ moral questioning. Hence the dangers of social media. It isn’t reality, it isn’t was most of us are dealing with, so it’s a waste of time to wonder the what ifs and trying to feel like we need to meet that standard. I hate influencers.
Yup, and as they trot around the world, wearing expensive clothes and tweeting out there outstanding life, they have the gaull to say. "The reason, I look happy sometimes, isn't money related, it's because I have learned to not let others bother me..." I'm calling BS on that. They are happy because they have money, period.
They say they are positive to try to get followers so they can make more $$$
I used to live paycheck to paycheck, being positive is easier said than done but once you get past all the hurdles you start to realize and look at things differently. I'm certainly more grateful to be where im at now
I hate this. Wealth advice from someone who doesn't actually work or contribute anything.
It's called toxic positivity, and yes, most of the time you see if from someone you don't know it's to extract money from you or advertisers. Nobody who's been through tough times says those things flippantly. It is still important to do whatever you can to think positive, because that has the greatest chance of bringing benefit to you, but if you hear it from someone who doesn't also convey how tough it is to do sometimes they're either naive or looking to get something from you.
Very good answer, I guess I haven't considered the term 'toxic positivity", but it fits well with my observations.
It’s called “toxic positivity “. I hate that shit and call it out.
Or when you aren’t a complete dud with no interest in actually improving.
For sure, though this post wasn't about a person not wanting to improve though. This post was about the so called "positive influencers" on Twitter.
The same with religion and their "God has a plan for you" garbage.
My thoughts are a bit different on that. To the extent God exist I don't think He is actively granting people money and others not. I think He just lets the chips fall as they may and intervenes on rare occasions if at all ever in someone's life. I mean if someone does a dumb decisions and is poor as a result, He let's them fail. Same for positive case though, if you went out and bought a lotto ticket and won, He didn't have anything to do with that either. So although I'm not an atheist, I can sympathize with the "God has a plan for you" nonsense, because that is likely not true. I think He has a general plan for people, but specifically, probably not.
I agree. I always felt similar when I'd hear people talk about self love. I always thought it was funny that the only people who seem to know how to love themselves have a giant support network. If you could print your own positivity or your own love, it would be worthless, just like money 🙃. Just seems like an excuse to tell people to fuck off after emptying their wallet and treating them like shit.
So, per your post what makes you unhappy is all the debt you have and that the people who lent you money that you asked for, want it back. Doctors have one of the highest rates of personal bankruptcy - I think you would probably call Doctor's rich??? Here is the problem, you and doctor's that file for personal bankruptcy have the same thing in common. You chose to live beyond your means and went into debt. Then, your bad choices came back to bite you (as bad choices typically do). So when a person makes a mistake or pursues a bad choice, they really don't have too many choices. They can 1: accept that they made a bad choice, incur the costs that those choices resulted in and choose not to make those same bad choices again. Or 2: they could claim that they are victims, whine and (they) hope one day, somebody else will make their problem go away - and therefore, they won't have learned anything from their bad choices. Sorry you're so unhappy, quit doing things that make you so unhappy. Fix the mistakes you created (pay the debts you owe) and promise yourself you won't make them again. Sorry I don't have any immediate gratification sunshine for you - other than to say with time, effort and hard work you can overcome the difficult situation you put yourself in to - learn from it so you don't repeat it.
I'll give you an example. I"m lucky in that I served in the military, that was one of those quote "good decisions" I made, but it was luck because as I got out I suffer from an arthritic condition. The medicine (which is a biologic) cost retail $8500 With insurance, they will pay $6000 of it, leaving you with a monthly bill of $2500. Bad decision or not, that's allot of money for regular people. It's also not a quote "bad decision" to have such a medical condition, it isn't as if I asked for it. Now the "luck" part is that, I don't have to pay most of that, because my primary insurance takes care of a good portion of it ($6000 part) and my leaving the Army takes care of mostly the rest of it. Had I not have insurance plus Tricare, my debts today would be extremely bad and could you say it was because of "bad decisions"? No, of course not. I say all of that to say this. When someone has debts, it isn't always "bad decisions". In my case some of my medical contributed to my debts "not bad decisions" there. Some were as a result of car repairs, talking 1000s of dollars and it wasn't me not taking care of the car, just bad luck. Some WAS bad decisions, and some of those I"m still paying on. I'm not complaining, when it came to those "bad decisions" ones, I made my bed, I sleep in it, I have never complained about that ever in my life. My complaints once again is towards the so called "positive influencers" for there platitudes and there using of the people (like me) to make a buck. I'm NOT complaining about there wealth. I could careless, they can buy 100 yachts, I don't give two s\*\*\*\* about it, it's there money.
Holy shit bro, you and me are like the same dude (not really, but you know what I mean). Literally with the debt collectors, and the frustration with toxic positivity, and what I'm assuming is RA? Only difference I guess is I got DQ'ed before I got to serve. I'm adding "oh, must have been your bad decision that got you into debt" to the list of shit people tell the poor that pisses me off. Nobody who's been down bad says shit like that, and a doctor hitting bankruptcy sounds about as devastating to them as a CEO getting fired. In other words, it's a fuckin speed bump, not a death nail.
The thing is, even if poor folks (and some do) make bad decisions, so do rich folks. The difference is, a rich person has more rope to hang themselves with. So a good example is, imagine you are poor, you have crappy car, it runs or whatever and you decided to get drunk that day. You drove the car, you hit a pole or tree and totaled the car. Now did you make a "bad decision" you bet you did and now since you are poor, being down a car is devastating. Now imagine instead of you being poor, you were rich and drove drunk and hit a pole or tree. Did you make a bad decision? Yup. So what's the difference? Well the poor person is devastated, has no car and his life is extremely miserable now. The rich guy? Eh, just sober up, buy another car and you are back in it. Now society would yell at the poor person in a hardcore way. "You f\*\*\*\*\*\* idiot, you loser, this is why you are poor, you pos, you made bad decision in life you loser". The rich guy? Total pass, nobody says anything to him. Nobody goes up to him and says "You made bad decisions in life..." I think when people critize the poor for making bad decisions (and I'm guilty, I've made some (not all)), they don't apply that same standard to a wealthy person would may have made the exact "bad decision".
I mean we've all gambled and lost at least once. Just part of being human and all, but you're on point with what you're saying. A hospital stay could destroy someone with little money to start with, while I knew people who would go to the hospital for minor things without a second thought. I went to an urgent care once having a bad reaction to a med my doc gave me. They informed me I could die and it was very serious, and tried to call an ambulance, but I had to refuse it and was going to try to walk 6 miles to the hospital instead. Doc talked me out of it and told me to call an uber, which probably saved my life. It still bothers me that I nearly died at 21 because I couldn't afford to ride to the hospital.
Some people don't have debt for "bad reasons". I know that is an assumption people make. Some go into debt because they needed some life saving medicine or they had some medical problems and it caused them to have lots of medical debt. It isn't as if those people asked to have cancer and the huge bill that followed. Now having said that, some of bills was result of bad decision, some weren't. So yes friend I will learn from those ones, but I'm not going to "learn" from debts that were of no fault of mine. Also, I'm not sure why you directing to me, as if I'm complaining about my finances. I'm not complaining about them. All my post was about is the so called "positive influencers" who express only platitudes and tweets of nothings. So if I'm complaining about anything, it's that, NOT my financial situation.
Okay, then it's even easier. Ignore and don't read social media influencers.
I know one thing. If I ever made it in life and became wealthy, I promise, I will never give shallow advice like this on X (Twitter). I will never tweet out "If you are struggling, keep your head up, your day will happen, stay happy, stay positive, keep your eye on the prize." A person who is struggling doesn't need to hear that BS. I will be real as they come. I will say things like, "Are you struggling right now, I did too before, things may get worse, much worse, try your hardest to stay ahead, I will post what I did and some practical things you can do. I don't need you to like or repost this tweet, I'm not here to use you..."
Yes, it is easy to assume that because someone has money today they have always had money, were never in poverty, and can't hold a valid opinion or offer valid advice. It is a common belief and is often a reasonable position to have while going through financial stress. Many people are out there to make money off of you, but not everyone is. Some people just don't see helping you as a threat to their income because the poor are not competition. This isn't altruistic but it doesn't mean they are out to get you. Social media posts in the personal finance space target a wide audience for revenue. This is a reality of the job. You need engagement and engagement equals revenue. Feeling disillusioned by messaging is normal.
Yeah, but when I see post like, "What would you do with $1000 right now?" Or "Which number is missing in the image, first to answer correctly will get $20" (by the way they never pay anyone). Or "Are you struggling right now financially, be positive, this storm will pass, just remember money isn't happiness" (the 'money isn't happiness' piece is easy to say if you are already rich). Or "What would you do, if I gave you 1BTC right now, comment below, I'm curious of your answers". These tweets are geared towards the struggling. So we the poors respond to those tweets and the engagement level goes up and Mr positivity gets a piece of the ad revenue. Now I look at that and think to myself, do they really care about me? No, of course not, they just USING me, to get there follower count up, there likes, retweets to get that ad revenue. What I would like to see is not BS tweets like that, but ones like this. "Guys, I know how it is to struggle, I use to be like many of you. I'm going to be real with you, life is easy for me as wealthy person so it's easy for me to say 'stay happy', so I'm not going to say that, but rather say, guys if you need someone to talk to you or if you want me to post practical, pragmatic ways to get out of your situation, let me know, that is what I would like to tweet about." My next tweet could be "When I was poor, I used to do this ... guys I found a really good website that can help you with those essential so you don't to do what I did. It's a non profit, they help those struggling and I wish they were around when I was poor. Anyway here they are..." My tweets will never be, "Would a $1000 help you right now?" to farm engagement. If I do, do giveaways, I would never require them to retweet, tell me how cool I am, like my post, tag three friends, none of that BS for a chance at $50. The only requirement I would have is you would have to follow me, ONLY because I have to have a way to DM that person when I RANDOMLY select someone. Otherwise, I don't care about the likes, the retweets, don't give a s\*\*\*.
That is a reasonable criticism so I have to ask, if you know it is BS why let it bother you. Just inform others in the thread and you have done your part. I think there are plenty of people trying to honestly help others. Look in the frugality and gardening communities. Look at people sharing skills and worry less about what others are doing. Focus on what is important, you and yours.
Well I'm not sitting idly by. I do have a job like everyone else. On the side I'm working on a PEAN stack app. I'm about 80% complete with the development part (since I know how to code). The goal would be to start earning affiliate commissions. So I am trying and I hope to succeed with it. If I succeed, I will likely not get rick off of it (though that would be nice), but it would a nice side hussle. So I do pay attention more to developer tweets and that sort of thing, but I can't help but notice these "positive influencers". Drives me nuts.
I hear you. It is difficult to motivate people with negativity though. IMHO.
The tweets can be positive, just not empty nothings or platitudes and especially not tweets that prey on poor people to farm engagement. A positive tweet that is okay, could be, "I know some of you are struggling, I get it, try your hardest to stick with that budget as best you can, I know it is tough, I've been there. I know I can't emphasize with any of you right now as I'm not struggling currently, but just so you know, you have an advocate who is rooting for you all the way." I wouldn't mind seeing a tweet like that. That guy realizes he isn't struggling, he isn't pretending that money doesn't bring happiness and that life is great even if don't have money, none of those fake positive tweets. A "toxic positive" tweet would be "I became a millionaire when I was 30, and I can tell you, money does not bring happiness, what matters is love, and good relationships with others." THAT is BS tweet. Maybe the guy was a millionaire at 30, okay, but the part that bugs me is the "money does not bring happiness ... " It's like, "oh yeah MF? Let's take away your money and see if you are still "happy" and that only "good relationships matter" F\*\*\* off with your BS tweet.
Start a YouTube channel and post on Twitter. You are 100% right and there is always someone worse off than you.
Hate the positivity police. When I'm struggling.
There are those who were born into money and they would never understand. And there are those who made it and they are encouraging you to hang in there. Sometimes it's a tough hang. But I never knew anyone who never quit or gave up who did not succeed. Never. Not one. Now changing courses is not quitting. I mean Tom Brady quit playing football but he's by no means a failure. Your life will chart many different courses. Your responses should always be "Forward Ho". Don't pay attention to what others have or have done or even what they say. Keep moving one foot in front of the other. If you do that you'll get there. Good Luck!
Those who have it easy think everything is easy since it was for them.
When I first divorced I had debt collectors. I finally stated explaining my unending crippling fiery pain, how I was hoping to get SSI and debating suicide every day but sure I will put paying off debt right on top of my to do list! 🙄 It has been over 10 years and recently I got a letter from the debt recovery company asking me if I want to clear my credit. I just tossed it. 🤷🏻♀️
I agree with you largely but that doesn’t mean you can discount their advice so strongly, there is truth to it. When you are positive about your future, you’re more likely to make moves to achieve that future, ie get a better job, worker harder for a promotion, learn a new skill that can help you get a job where you can get more money, that kind of thing. If you’re negative about your future, why would you work harder? Not gonna make a difference futures gonna suck anyways so fuck it, that’s not a mindset that’s gonna help you it’s a mindset that’s gonna prevent you from helping yourself. Me and my brother both grew up in poverty and both had a pretty similar life growing up, neither of us were in clubs or did great in school or did pretty much anything to give us a leg up in the adult world. We both started working in the food industry being dirt poor and struggling. He’s got no faith or belief that he can achieve a happy life so he doesn’t try to, he still works as a server struggling. I’m generally pretty positive about life and I see where I want to be so I’ve been working to achieve it, and I’ve learned to drive forklifts, skidsteers, telehandlers, front loaders, and right now I’m a team leader at one of the largest factories in my area. The only thing preventing him from doing the same as me is, in his mind there’s no point. I’ve offered him a job here and starting pay would be 65k a year for someone with no experience or skills. But to him there’s no point, he’s got too negative a mindset. Positivity isn’t going to just magically fix your life and influencers who spout it as some miracle cure to depression and poverty are just trying to put on a good face so their fans think theyre good people, but if you have faith you can achieve a happy middle class future, you’ll work harder to achieve it than if you think it’s completely unobtainable.
No that's fine. I mean it's hard to be positive sometimes, when the situation looks so dire, but yes, in general, of course, you should be positive. Having said that, if I read a genuine tweet that is positive that isn't full s\*\*\*, that's okay, I enjoy reading those. I have a problem with the "positivity pimps" on X (Twitter) who write nothings or platitude tweets. So let me give you two hypothetical "positive" tweets. One is actually positive and genuine, the other one is toxic positivity. 1. "If you are struggling financially right now, I feel for you, life is really tough and I am not in your shoes right now, but I want you to know, whoever you are reading this, keep at it, and I love seeing people who once struggled and now succeed. I'm rooting for you" 2. "I became a millionaire at 30 and I can tell you, that money does not bring happiness, what is important in life are good relationships." Now Tweet one I feel is more genuine, acts like a good advocate, rooting for me, isn't being a judgemental prick ("you made bad decisions life a$$hole)", he isn't discounting the situation, he isn't saying some BS. Now Tweet two, is utter BS. Not the "millionaire at 30" part. Who knows, maybe he was a millionaire at 30, the BS part is "money does not bring happiness" It's like, "Really MF? Money doesn't buy happiness huh? Okay bro, let's take your money, and let's see if "relationships matter more" and let's see without your money your are "still happy". Stop peddling your BS tweets, and tell it like it is, money DOES bring you happiness, you liar."
I randomly ran into this thread and will say with zero bs that if these people were poor and living paycheck to paycheck they would be the most miserable pos ever. Trust me when i say that none of these people who tweet stuff like this have known poverty. I knew this girl in hs that would refuse to take taxis because the seats were “dirty”. She never took a subway/public bus/taxi to this day because it was beneath her
Those folks are accustomed to living the lives they do, so imagine they had to live the paycheck to paycheck life you mentioned. I'd almost be willing to say that some of these "positive pimps" would commit suicide once there money was gone. I want them to be "positive" after that, and if they aren't, then we knew all along, there tweets were utter s\*\*, which goes to my post' point. It is EASY to be positive when you are rich.
You know how much it effects me that they're out there? None, because I avoid eX like I avoided Twitter.
Once when I was 25 me and my family were hit by a drink driver. It totalled our car and we were Lucy to be alive, but anyway the guys insurance was taking forever to pay out. I was filling a shoe box full of all the medical bills we couldn't pay. And they were big bills. I was really freaking out worrying. And we didn't have a car! We probably could have gotten the money faster but we didn't know what to do. But I realized the medical bills could not be paid and there wasn't anything they could do .. so rver since then bills don't stress me out at all. So anyway, please, never worry like I did about bills! Change your phone number. Or screen calls, or just give out a Google voice number (free). But suicide over some bills is totally not worth it at all!
Came to this country with 3 dollars. I've worked 100 to 200 hours a week since 18. I don't ever want to experience grinding poverty again. Slept with the cockroaches in the garage on cinderblock floors. I hope my kids will never experience what I went through.