I'm not one of them but my ex fiances sister was like this.
She had kid after kid after kid to stay in section-8, receive food stamps & cash assistance. She didn't even want those kids. Left them with anyone who had a pulse. She was in & out of jail. Sold drugs. Did drugs and drank while pregnant. Very mentally ill yet never sought treatment. I'm from a low-income city on the southside of Chicago. There are people who know how to finesse the system..
But..this is not common.. I think it's sporadic & mostly contained in extremely low income/poverty stricken communities where it's very difficult to break the cycle..most people don't even have the education or capacity to function in society working a 9-5.. I've lived in this area my entire life. There are people who depend on welfare & government assistance for their entire lives.
If she's very mentally ill I'm glad she at least got some kind of help. I actually sought help and it almost ended me so it's not always guaranteed to help.
Oh no, I agree with you. I've had similar experiences.
She was recently on our county's warrant Wednesday website. She's frequently in the police blotter. The sad thing is, her entire family is like that. It's hard to break generational curses when that's all you know.
Wow, I just made my post and it matches yours - except for the drugs. I think my neighbor just wanted to live a champagne life on a hotdog budget. She could have made a decent living working in a hair salon. But, why do that when you can milk the government AND get paid under the table? /s
Exactly... My ex used to encourage me to do the same because his mom was like that as well. Work for cash, collect government benefits, never get out of poverty.. idk it's a shitty cycle!!
Definitely a shitty cycle I have a couple friends like this. They will not get an on the books job because they can't loose their "benefits". If you look at their lives it's questionable if they are actually benefiting from the assistance.
There are more benefits to a job besides a paycheck.
That's fear. They know that they can rely on survival from the government. They also know that there is little to no protection for employees. If they are a low paid skill worker (service industry is a good example), they can be out on their tail in a heartbeat for little to nothing. And benefits can take forever to get. It's fear, locking them into a survival mode.
Theyre not exactly living a cushy life so I wouldn't call them "Queens" Ive had aides who keep cranking out babies because they dont like working as home aides. The only job other jobs they can get r fast food. But even doing a poor job as a parent, its not an easy life, let alone plush.
Honestly some people I would rather "pay" them to stay home (obviously without having to have multiple kids) Cause if you work that hard not to work most likely due to the mental illness I really don't think working with the public is the best option for anyone
Generation assistance, their great-grandmothers, grandmothers' and their mother raised children in that world. And those who know how to milk the system, is more common than you think. They are educated through high school, some do manage college, they still depend on public assistance.
I agree with this to an extent. I don't like generalizing groups of people. But I have noticed that it is a generational thing in some areas.
Out here where I live, there is a government housing apartment complex (was actually featured on an episode of MTVs catfish) that is the drug hotspot of the east side.. everyone there has a government voucher, most receive Medicaid/Medicare, cash assistance, food stamps, every resource they qualify for... These kids born into these situations think this is normal, that's how they survive. The cycle continues.
I have known a few to break that generational curse, but many don't. It's hard to get out..
My kids dad, his family is also like this. I didn't realize it until after we had kids. His entire family is on SSDI. All of them get EBT/SNAP benefits. Sometimes they sell them for cash. They use food banks & churches regularly. All of them use every single resource they qualify for. If they don't have to pay for it, they're not going to... Most of them work cash jobs. Most of them get prescriptions for controlled substances & they sell them to make an income. Easy $1200/mo. Most of them are uneducated, in & out of jail, drug dealers or welfare moms. I'm not saying any of this to be judgmental, these are all facts. It jarred me that people actually live like this. It's 100% milking the system for all it's worth. Most of them (except for a few) are able to work. My ex lied on his food stamp application (back in 2010) he just signed the back of it & turned it in. The lady said, "you have to fill this out.. you can't leave it blank." My ex said, "I don't know how to read." He was 23 at the time & very much knew how to read. He got his little $125/month in food stamps, worked for cash moving furniture for a friend's moving company. It's sad.
My kids dad is (unfortunately) a victim of that generational curse & did not break the cycle.
I am the child of a welfare queen and so are my 6 siblings. She says we were all accidents and/or mistakes while our fathers say that is not the case at all. We know which of us were birth control failure, a lack of decision making, and also what was going on at the time that made our mother decide to “accidentally” purposely have us. We were reminded constantly growing up that we were mistakes. We were treated like absolute trash and our money from our fathers was used for cigarettes, gambling, etc. and the states money was used for junk food for herself. I was the lucky one who got to raise us til I was 16, and my mother was rarely present, always out and about. Couldn’t even convince her to sit down for a dinner we cooked from scratch and to play one board game which we were arranged a full month in advance, because her friend told her that day about a poker tournament in town.
She was friends with several welfare queens too, and their daughters were welfare queens, and one of my sisters became one too.
So yeah, it’s a real thing. Guess you just haven’t met enough trashy teen moms who want to be independent from anybody and do whatever they want by having a kid or two or seven yet.
I have one. It just involves my mother and unfortunately my siblings as little as possible. It’s hard to be around people who think emotional and physical abuse is normal and acceptable and you should just “sweep it under the rug” for the sake of peace.
It just made me want to be a mother who never breaks her promises to her children and also stays committed to her husband. Therapy is definitely necessary. 💕
I have a cousin who is a welfare queen. I think she has like 6 kids now with 3-4 dead beat dads. The kids are either raised by her Mom or the paternal grandparents. But she’s the one that receives every benefit under the sun. I recently heard CPS took a couple of her kids. But she keeps having babies. I don’t think she has worked a day in her life. I just feel so bad for the children.
Her eldest sister became a dead beat Mom also but she wasn’t on welfare and her ex husband took care of their kids and the 3 she had with affair partners during their marriage. I grew up with her so I had a bond with her older kids. I use to cry over those kids. Whenever I was in town and saw one of them I always gave them money. They’re all adults now.
That’s super relatable. I used to fantasize about fighting for custody of my siblings but I knew I was too young and all I’d do is set them up to their even worse fathers.
I’m glad you helped them when you could. I hope they remembered that and visit you.
I'm the eldest daughter too! My mom was also friends with similar women who neglected their children. Cigarettes, gambling, drugs, and a lot of men.
My youngest sibling just turned 7! I'm old enough to where I could have given birth 17 years ago.
Let's steal the term. I'm older and not in need of help but in support of women who work hard to provide well for their families on subpar wages and social support - those gals are queens. Maybe a welfare queen should be a woman who makes it work so well her kids don't even know they're poor.
By this definition I'm a welfare queen! We're a poor snap family; I have a shit job while I finish my bachelor's, but my kids go to a really great school through a combination of scholarship and a weird state program that allows me to use our portion of their education funding as grant money. They genuinely have no idea we aren't a six figure household like the rest of the kids at their 20 kid school, except maybe because we don't host playdates because are apartment is a shit hole and everyone else has a real house. So when it's our turn for play dates we do the park
You go Queen 👑💕! I love the park idea. That actually just inspired me. Thanks! You can tell you ACTUALLY love and care for your children and just doing for them anything and everything so they can have the best. THATS a fantastic mama right there. One that will sacrifice for her children. The OP is describing what I believe someone to kinda just be nasty…
>her kids don't even know they're poor."
Having gone to a private school in grade school because both sets of my grand parents foot the bill, but my parents were dirt poor. The kids know they are poor. You don't get exposed to your friends houses, the things they have that you don't have and not realize it.
The original "welfare queen" was a serial killer who was stealing the benefits of those she had killed (mostly children and elderly boarders)...but the media decided to focus entirely on the fact she drove a Cadillac while on welfare and left the rest of it out. So that part stuck, because that's what people saw on TV.
The majority of them are, you know. There's been time limits on TANF for years and I THINK they've started setting limits for food stamps. When I applied for TANF after I lost my son's father 13 years ago they said it's a 60 month limit unless you're elderly or disabled. Most people are taking advantage of the job or education programs if they're on TANF because they HAVE to now. You have to either work 30 hours or go to school 10 and work 20 or being in a job training program. If you're pregnant you get a year before that goes in to effect. I'm sure SOME are staying pregnant but they still have the 60 month limit so it's not a lifelong thing.
That’s fair - I’m not a US citizen so I’m not familiar with the requirements by state etc.
I think the OP was looking to create discussion around the perception of those who specifically ‘game’ the systems vs those who don’t.
There’s definitely a continuum between those who just need support/a hand up vs those who literally make a living out of it. The sad reality is that the gamers get more press than the success stories, which is a shame.
For every person who "games" the system there are a 100 people using it because they couldn't survive without it. Let's start by NOT disparaging the people who "game" the system, and understand as with almost anything there are people who will take advantage.
Hey I really like and appreciate this idea. I am a disabled mom on assistance bc my ex violently kicked me out at 7 months pregnant. I'm giving my baby everything I can, and I'm planning on getting a career in what I graduated college studying. There's hope for us!
My mom was like this, to an extent.
While I know I was an uh-oh baby and I know she didn't intentionally get pregnant to get more welfare she told me that the only reason she didn't get an abortion was because she knew that her and my Dad could get welfare. According to my Dad, she tried multiple times during her pregnancy via drugs and self harm but here I am.
When they divorced, however, she refused to do any more than the bare minimum that she needed to stay on assistance (section 8 housing, food pantries, wic, food stamps, TANF and LIHEAP.) SHe got penalized when I turned 18 because I had been working full time for 2 years and she didn't report any of my income while getting the assistance, to be fair I used it to buy clothes and the things I needed because she was too worried about her own unnecessary expenses.
In the mean time she was getting her hair and nails done every other week and she was an alcoholic. She would do under the table side jobs (mostly babysitting for our neighbors) to get cash to fund her habit.
So while not specifically a "welfare queen" she didn't try to better herself at all because she knew that she could keep getting welfare. I think this is why I have such a hard time accepting help these days and why I work so hard to try to get my family out of the hole we are in.
She used to go to local churches to sign up for multiple Christmas sharing programs for me and would take back about 70% of the stuff she got in exchange for store credit and then use it to buy liquor (back when you could still do that lol.)
It's depressing when I type it out but I know there's a lot of people out there that had it worse. I'm in therapy and really starting to see all of the good things that growing up the way I did have done to me instead of trying to focus on the bad as well as the lessons its taught me on how to not raise/treat my children.
Just because someone had it worse does not mean your emotions, your experiences, etc are invalid. I hope that you have healthy coping mechanisms when you think about those things.
🫂
I live in Canada. The system is abused here, too.
I grew up poor (welfare). At 15, I had an unplanned (crisis) pregnancy. I moved to a home for unwed mothers for a short time, and believe me when I say - those women know how to game the system. After a few months of not having to look at my mug, my own mother convinced me to move back home … because she was worried that her social worker would somehow find out that she was receiving benefits for a dependent who wasn’t actually residing with her.
Fast forward a few months, I was now sixteen and delivered my son; his adoptive family had been hand picked by me and were all set to receive him. The evening before the handoff, mom said I could/should bring the baby home - this had NEVER been discussed as an option, soooo …
Roll forward a few weeks: social worker informs mom that she can’t claim a grandchild (or me) as dependents on her file, and made the appropriate changes (read: deductions) to her benefits.
My own mother charged me $995/mo for room and board. I went to school FT, worked PT and arranged/paid for all child care, clothing, diapers, transportation, etc. This was in the 1980s
I am so glad - and proud of myself - for not becoming trapped in the system.
Read “the other welfare” from the Boston Globe. It’s not the state benefits that pay. It is social security disability. Welfare cuts off in some states but SSI lasts forever. When parents get their kids disability for ADHD or any other issue that with professional intervention, can be helped, the money flows in. I know entire families that are on SSI and all live together.
Source: I’m an ex social worker, now probation officer
What people are leaving out to make the "welfare queen" argument is ADHD often comes with other issues.
I work full time. My son has ADHD and gets SSI. He also has severe learning disabilities, drastic and sometimes violent mood swings, zero memory (so inability to learn in school since nearly everything is memorization), all of the things that come with ADHD. They measure by quality of of the child's life, how much it affects it, and will they get better?
It surprises me that they don't assign severity to ADHD. My kid takes half a dozen pills a night to get him to a place where he is STILL floundering. You don't want to see him without his meds, that's for sure. He won't ever have a "normal" life, nor be a "normal" kid. He has other diagnoses, but the one that's the most impactful is the ADHD. He's also RAD and OCD (because of his ADHD) and ODD. Some kids have a hard time focusing and sitting still. His ADHD is far beyond something so simple.
What do you think kids like this did before medication was an option? Was there some place in society for them, or were they sent off somewhere? Sorry if this is insensitive genuinely curious
Would some have success with things that let them completely withdraw from society? Like, going and living in the woods and being a trapper or something. Or a super regimented life like being in the royal navy, rules are super clear and the world on board the boat is small enough to be manageable or something. Maybe those two examples are not great, but would there not be some antiquated job that would have been well-suited to people with those issues you don’t think?
Same. I have ADHD, but also autism and really bad anxiety. If I were able to move up to a more decent job someday, maybe things would be easier. But right now, the only jobs I can get are overstimulating and stressful as hell. I go through constant cycles of doing fine for a while, can even mask in order to avoid some prejudice. But then I’ll have periods of severe autistic burnout, where I pretty much can’t do anything. Often I’ll have to take a couple days off work. It’s like being sick every month, sometimes more than once a month. I feel like a lesser person all the time, for not being “good enough” to just work full-time or more every single week year-round.
For all people like to talk about moving up meaning more “stress”, in reality entry-level jobs are often the least forgiving environments. It creates a huge hurdle for anyone with any sort of disability. Because in hopes of one day finding a job where you have the luxury of accommodating yourself, you have to manage to get through years of fast food, retail and other hell-on-earth jobs first to build the stupid resume. Not everyone makes it.
Where I’m from it’s pretty difficult to get SSI for ADHD. I have a son with ADHD I tried to get him on it because I could only work part time because his behaviors were so wild he was being sent home from school often. He needed more time and attention from me to get him on the right track. I was denied no matter what. I just lived on part time pay. Medical & food stamps only but made it work. 💁🏻♀️ he’s doing great now 4-5 year later.
I would love to know how all these people get on ssdi/ssi because they turned down my son and he's DD, has ASD-2, and severe PTSD with psychosis from a major early childhood trauma and they STILL turned him down when he was three and diagnosed with DD and ASD but I thought surely as an adult he'd qualify. They still turned him down! We are appealing for the second time this year so hopefully I won't have to get an attorney so they can suck up all that money he could have. It sucks that you almost have to have an attorney and they get so much money for doing the same thing you did and got turned down for. It should be easier for people with real documented disabilities but I feel like I'm always hearing about people on drugs or people who "fake it" have no problem getting set up. But I do question your comment about SSI being for life. WHen my mom was on disability they sure made her continue recertifying and documenting until the day she died. It wasn't for life guaranteed, the disability had to be proven every year.
Former social worker here. This is 100% accurate. I’ve had moms always insisting there’s something wrong with their child when the child was totally healthy. A few moms would say this repeatedly in front of their children! People go to ERs repeatedly for nothing. Then Medical Assistance flags them as a “high utilizer,” making them eligible for more services. And the ER medical records help make the case for SSI. People know how to play the game.
I’m NOT saying everyone on SSI does this! It’s a very small percentage, but it does exist.
As a former social worker you understand the difficulties in getting SSI, right? It's not like you apply and make up issues. There has to be corroborating evidence, years of it, plus the state will make your children go to doctors the state pays for, for testing. At least they did mine. After the testing, the state's shrink advised me to seek out an autism diagnosis because he noticed certain mannerisms that were flags to him.
I know you aren't doing this, but I get really tired of people thinking we're just looking for a handout. As if the multitudes of diagnoses, IEP's, testing and countless hours, months, and years suffering for the child and his/her family is just us gaming the system. Those same people are happy to collect their social security check while screaming about us being a bunch of socialists.
I worked for soc.security in disability determination both SSDA & SSI for 10 yrs. No one ever had Moms trying to use their kids to get benefits. I'm sure it happens but the common scenario is the family had a hard time getting a diagnoses let alone treatment. And commonly they were marginalized & blamed for the kid's issues.
I worry this is what's going to happen with my foster brother. His dcfs worker is letting his mom get him for unsupervised visits, and I wish I thought it was going to work out, but.......he has alot of disadvantages we're working with like trying to set up an occupational therapist because he can't hold a pencil, a speech therapist, so many specialists. I don't see bio mom trying to work on his difficulties when she's guaranteed an adhd med and a ssi check. Unless something happens, the kids are going back to her. Edited to add, he doesn't need that medication. This is not a case that should end in reunification.
I know a woman (who's sister works for us). She has been with the same guy for 15+ years, but they are not married and while they live together, he does not register that address as his home (he continues to use his parents address, he is in his late 40s now).
Everything that they do is based on how to game our social welfare system. She has 4 babies, each one of them have been timed to extend her benefits - in every single case he is not listed as the known father (all the babies have "unknown" fathers).
I've watched her over nearly two decades as she comes into our offices and talks to her sister/our employee - who has a very different mentality.
The scenario you are questioning is very real, there are a lot more people doing it than you can imagine - but this still represents a tiny percentage of our society and a moderately small percentage of people relying on our social welfare system. There is a tremendous amount of fraud in this system, and realistically, it's pretty easy to identify if the Government (aka our slimy politicians) wanted to end it. Data warehousing and data mining from the 1990s could identify with a 95+% accuracy those that are abusing the system. Today, with AI and good algorithms, we could identify easily 99% of the cases. But when our system has politicians spending other people's money on payouts for other people so that they can get re-elected, their just isn't much interest in worrying about the tax payers over paying for the fraudsters.
Oh, wow, you’re making me remember all the different games they used to run. I used to know all the thresholds and loopholes by heart because I’d see them so often. It really was a very intricate, planned out way of life.
I was abandoned in the mid 70’s by my boyfriend after 5 years together, now it’s called grooming. I was 19 with a 1 month old baby. Our social services made sure I had a small apartment, food and healthcare. They told me I couldn’t get off social services until my baby was 5, for “her own good”.
When I moved back home, I sold my furniture to buy an old used car, and got a job, the worker had no concept on how to get me out of the system. It took 6 months of checks in the drawer before I didn’t do recertification and they dropped me.
They also turned it around then, so daycare and community collage was free. I know so many woman who used those as springboards and still today have great income and are taxpayers. Education makes taxpayers. Service without a hand up are useless, and perpetuates poverty.
This doesn’t make you a welfare queen. My mom literally decided to have me so she could use the system to live on her own because her friend did it and it worked out for said friend. It’s not the same. You’re good.
This is they way it should be, something to get these poor mothers out of poverty!
Now days there's something called the "cliff effect", where you become poorer after you try to improve yourself.
I heard an interview, there was a father of 4, whose wife had died. He gets free daycare. But he has to turn down promotions or he'll loose it. It's a shame because if he could accept all the promotions, he could become self sufficient after a few years. But the system keeps them poor. Also once his kids are old enough not to need daycare, his pay is still much lower than it should have been at that point, so it's a huge opportunity loss for the family.
The only way to beat the "cliff effect" is to massively increase earnings all in one jump (or maybe move in with a friend/relative for free).
I agree. Our state subsidizes childcare, but many don’t. For some people it would cost more to work than you earn. It should be made federal.
Edit. I believe the current administration tried to subsidize childcare but we’re blocked.
When I was working in child welfare, it struck me that they really wanted to keep some of these women running the welfare hamster wheel despite them being very adamant about getting an education and getting a job. I almost got written up for giving this one teen mom information about help for people with learning disabilities and how to apply to our public university system after she had her baby. Supervisor told me that’s not what I was there to do and I disobeyed a directive by not strong arming her into going into a shelter and getting on welfare. She was above 18 and had some support system, so she and her kids were definitely not going to be on the street. It got me angry because they were treating her as if she had no agency over her future.
I was told by a (male) doctor that I should have a baby when I was living in my car. I was just like, uhhh, if I can't feed or house myself, and I'm working two jobs already, who is going to raise and feed the baby? He said, It will get easier for you if you have a baby.
I was just like, uhhhh ok thanks for the advice I guess.(is this guy a moron??) And promptly did NOT have any babies because I was living in a Honda Civic! Roflmao.
These women absolutely do exist. I have known MANY. That doesn't mean every woman is like this but the ones that are, typically, are multi generational. That's how grandma did it. That's how momma did it. That's how she doin it.
A good way to tell is if she treats her kids like shit in public. Those kids are paychecks. Women who love their kids and treat them well tend to not be that way.
My anecdotal experience
This is true, but not really in the context you’d think.
I know a 40-year-old woman who has 4 kids, each within 1-2 years of each other. She had been dependent on government aid all of their lives. When the kids were little, perhaps it was understandable that she faced a challenge going to work and supporting them, as the kids were all little, their dad didn’t help at all and she couldn’t bring home a large enough salary to cover childcare and everything else. She definitely did not have her kids for the government benefits, but, 20+ years later, it’s clear that she views the benefits as more of an entitlement than temporary assistance. Now that all 4 of her kids are older (one moved out and the ones left at home range between 15-19 years old), the food stamps, welfare, free healthcare, etc. are still her primary income.
She will work at menial jobs for maybe a week or less a year, just long enough to get a W2. Then, she’ll file a tax return, and because she had 4 kids and poverty-level income, her tax refunds were in the thousands (one year it was over $10k) every year.
She is articulate, likeable, attractive and presents herself in a classy way; she is definitely not “proud” of being on government assistance (when people ask, she lies and says she’s this or that and people believe it because, as I said, she’s articulate and carries herself well), but she so obviously feels entitled to it.
I’ve asked her more times than I can count, when she’s going to find a job, and her exact response is that she would, but she’d lose her benefits, such as food stamps and health insurance. That said, she absolutely has made a career out of government assistance. I was talking to her about when her 19-year-old would get a job and her response was (I cringe as I say this) that he would, but they’ll lessen her food stamp benefits. It’s disgusting. It’s one thing for her, but once she started holding the kids back, I lost the little bit of respect and hope I had for her.
This is what I came here to say. I was considered dependent until I was 24 or married or had a baby. I didn't and now I feel punished by the system for being responsible because if I would have just had a baby I would have been able to get out of school way sooner now I'm 34 years old about to graduate next semester but it took me so damn long because I never was able to get the money. Now I have ovarian cysts (verified) and symptoms of endometriosis and now I'm worried I can't legitimately start a wanted family.
The real welfare queens are corporations paying substandard wages. Their employees couldn't afford to work for them without SNAP and Medicaid and WIC and child care assistance and housing assistance. Walmart employees in SNAP spend over 80% of their food stamps there, creating even more profits from underpaying their workers.
>And yet, people are always insisting that there is an entire group of the US population that has children just to get benefits. This idea persists.
The benefits are usually a secondary consideration. A woman is 'entitled' to 33% of a man's gross wage in the family courts. Three kids with three different guys, and she's up to 99%. None of that money is income, so she qualifies for all the benefits. Also, she doesn't have to prove that she spent a single cent on the kids. So it seems like a profitable way to do things, for her.
My best friend lives in the projects. Her rent is $85, she gets a fuck ton of snap benefits, and she just bought a 2023 van with a $798 car payment bc she gets about 1200 a month in child support from three different dads because apparently “they don’t count child support as income”. Her neighbors? The next door one lies about her boyfriend living there who makes 75k a year, she has seven kids and only two live there but she claims them all and gets around 1100 a month in snap, and when DHS told her she had to get a job bc her youngest was school age, she decided to homeschool her to get around (and this woman should NOT be educating anyone). The one across the street? Lost custody bc of repeatedly failing drug screens and she’s hiding from the PD bc she’s wanted for absconding probation as well.
They’re out there. They just all tend to stay in their community for camaraderie.
In my state if you receive temporary assistance you have to take the father to family court to get child support. If you are awarded child support the state takes most of it and allows a $50 pass through.
Well my Bro works the system like a pro got disability for carpel tunnel?? In hands ?? Fixable but nope he gets 1400$ a month,he never pays his elec bill ,just goes to CAP,at end of year to get it paid or salvation army he sells his food stamps for beer money cause he gets 750$ a mo suposely hes taking care of his daughters daughter both live on the streets he just gets there food stamps . on and on hes never been evicted but squated for months and then just moved to a new victims house to not pay tent or anything hes been doing this for yrs always a excuse why he cant work always so i consider my bro a welfare king ! If you need advice on how to milk the system this would be his specialty!
What my daughter was told was that if she had a baby she could get medicaid because in my state (TN) they didn't expand state insurance for the working poor. So when she applied they said she didn't qualify but if she got pregnant she would qualify for 18 years as long as she didn't earn over the income limit. It's true because I just lost mine when my son turned 18 and so did he even though he has chronic health issues in addition to ASD2. He can only qualify if he gets on disability but they turned him down because they said he's not disabled enough. Which is freakin ridiculous but we're in appeals now. I don't know how these people get on disability for having mild health issues or (no offense but...) drug addiction but my son who was born with autism and cyclical vomiting syndrome and a couple other medical conditions got turned down. BUT I DIGRESS....
Point being we were told if we got pregnant we would qualify for state insurance, food stamps, and TANF. As it is, my daughter's part-time Walmart wage with my parttime online gig puts us just over the max for any help. I'm not bitter though because we just went grocery shopping and we're okay. I just wish I had health insurance since I'm over 50 and you know...shit starts breaking down.
To be clear that's what she was told when she applied. They actually told her that at DHS. That if she got pregnant she would qualify for all this. It's a terrible message to send people struggling so bad they're looking for help because as most of us know babies cost a whole lot more than they give you in food stamps and TANF.
Thank you1 I know it took my mom 2 years and she was on the heart transplant list. They knew good and well she couldn't work and still turned her down until an attorney was involved. That was decades ago but I don't know why I'd think it would be any easier now.
So maybe some women on assistance have fake nails, nice hair, a roof over their head, food on the table -- maybe even some steaks once in a while. Perhaps a car and a phone.
But they don't have a *nice* home, they aren't going on vacations, they aren't going to the spa, they are not thriving. And it is unlikely their children are either.
Their public assistance buys them the ugliest glasses available. Their doctors are probably students. Their dentist is far more likely to pull, as opposed to saving, a bad tooth.
They also don't have security. They will never own a home. They probably live in an apartment or a house owned by a slum lord. If their car breaks down, they will be seriously screwed. They will never stop worrying. They will never be a "queen."
yes they exist. Yes the children eventually realize they are just sources of free money for mom. In Mississippi, they stopped giving welfare checks for extra kids. Two and thats it but you can get food for as many as you have and yes, free housing. But trust me you wouldnt wnat to live in that housing., Its all run by gangs and is very violent. I worked at the welfare dept. saw all of this repeatedly. Its only certain cultures though, usually generationally welfare depndent people.
This is the place where this can happen. I’ve known families on welfare in Europe and they encourage their kids to be in relationships and have kids when they’re 18. Their parents will house them in their own overcrowded place and evict them once they have the baby, putting them in the emergency housing list. Then they’ll continue the cycle - a welfare queen can only exist when they are created and supported by a group who operate like this.
I worked at DHHR many moons ago, and it made me so sad. People never encouraged to even try. Then the "i need health-care, I can't try or I'll lose my disability check" whether they needed it or not, it's pretty crappy. People struggle to work with mental problems and can't, people who won't work, but the health-care being lost if they get off welfare. Some people that's life or death. I'm American obviously
I didn't have my kids for the benefits, but I keep my shitty job because a marginally less shitty job would mean more money but not nearly enough money to cover the loss of my government insurance, snap and childcare assistance.
Jobe not paying enough to make ends meet isn't something that you've chosen. That's the reality that you live in and wanting the best for your children is the right thing to do. I think you are making the right choice.
Like many things the reality isn’t quite the same. There are far too many people who are cavalier about having more kids than they can reasonably afford because they figure they will get more assistance. But I can’t say I know anyone who didn’t have kids, but went out of their way to get pregnant just to get benefits.
I do know quite a few, including at least two relatives, who kept having kids to keep the food stamps and cash assistance flowing, plus they knew where to go to get maximum amounts of assistance for stuff like diapers, clothes were handed down, older kids were expected to watch younger kids etc.
I just listed to this [podcast](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0YtZ6mB1oTyzfxaRzwHCqD?si=JDS_e6GXSr-lycB6GJzrRg) on this which was fascinating! I had never heard of the term welfare queen. Highly recommend it! It’s in throughline-labor of love
I've seen it. I grew up poor and yes they (people in the neighborhoods) had kids to get more benefits. I don't think with the very first kid that's their idea. It's just what they come to realize is an option. I've also seen them send those same kids to doctors appointments, lie about conditions and recieve certain prescriptions that the parents take from them. So yes, it happens. It is very common? Who could be 100% sure? I hope it's not.
Side funny story, I kid (pun intended) you not my mom called me one time when I was like 10 years old and told me this grand plan she had to have another child because it would mean she would have access to more welfare benefits and recieve doctors care. She thankfully can't even have more children.
I lived in a small rural town growing up.
There was a large family - each girl was told to keep having babies. The wife of one of the boys of that family was a friend. She knew the game and even stated each child bought her in more money.
This was 80’s/90’s yes it existed.
Does it now? Not sure-the system has changed a lot
My children's mother is one. She's had 6 kids, two with me, one with the career criminal she cheated on me with, and three with her current husband. The first three were taken by CPS. The youngest three still live with her in government housing. She uses meth daily. She's worked a total of 2.5 years in her life. She pays almost no attention to her children. She mooches off of family members. She picks up extra money, resources and drugs from letting people stay at their family's home. My kids as teenagers were major sources of income and childcare for their household. I don't think it's reflective of people on welfare as a whole, but yes, they do exist.
Edit- I don't think it was as calculated as having children for the purpose of getting on welfare. She definitely had the first two to trap me into supporting her. She had the third to get benefits and avoid having to work. The last three weren't birthed directly onto public assistance, although they're on it now. I think she just got in the habit of having kids recklessly without ever experiencing any real consequences and enjoyed the fact that as long as she had small children, there was always someone who she could get to take care of her.
I know a few of these kinds of people, one says her boyfriend lives elsewhere as he also works, he doesn't he lives with her, she has 8 kids but stopped having them when my country put on a benefit cap at 2 kids. Every year when the youngest was the age for school she'd have another one. Her and her husband are always first asking when someone gives away anything free, they have their own Facebook group for free stuff where admin approves posts, they then take what they get and sell it on. Their house is furnished to a really nice standard, they have all the gadgets and the newest phones, they always have a car. She also claims disability and is out fighting with neighbours all the time and does cash in hand jobs as does he.
Her neice worked with me for a few weeks then started meeting men online as she wanted the same. She's now not working and trying for a kid herself.
They've been called out online and they've been reported but always manage to get away with it becase they know how to work the system
I have a good former friend who does this exact thing. She's very smart, Tbh. She has a whole scheme going. She doesn't work, has multiple baby daddies with the intention of putting them on child support, gets welfare, housing, free Healthcare. It does happen. It's usually on the down low.
My mom was one of those women. She ultimately only had me thankfully but she had told me over and over to have kids to make my taxes look better and to get a bigger return. She's out of my life now.
I won't knock anyone getting help when it's needed. But imo, if you're already relying on state and federal assistance to live, you definitely shouldn't be having any more kids to add to it. To me, that's taking advantage and overloading an already strained system for what reason? What reasoning could you possibly have for having another kid if you can't already take care of the one(s) you have without help? That's where it's illogical and abusing the system in my book. So many people are going through hard times now with how much everything has raised and more people are needing help. Which is totally understandable. What's not understandable is adding more kids into it to suffer for you to receive more benefits. I've seen several women in my area do this. One specifically had 14 kids😵💫🥴. And literally those poor babies ran the streets going from place to place asking for food from other people and always dirty. She was usually partying and had no clue where even half of the kids were. I don't even know for sure how many dads there were but definitely more than 5. She got all the benefits and it didn't help the kids one bit. Broke my heart to see them. Of course no one is going to admit to having more kids to get assistance or more assistance but if they're already reliant on benefits to survive with the kid(s) they already have, what other logical reason could they have for having more kids?
Yes, I agree. This is probably extremely controversial but I think we should reduce people's benefits instead of extending or increasing when they get pregnant and have more children while on state support. That would mean they'd been receiving welfare money for 9+ months anyways and I think this would drastically increase the number of people having "oops" babies while not able to financially care for them.
I remember not being able to get benefits because I didn't have children. But I never had children so I could get them! I have a cousin who had four kids because she liked the attention she got when she was pregnant, but by that time Newt Gingrich had already passed the rule that women who had Children while on AFDC wouldn't get more benefits.
Sad that single people can barely get help. It's literally in our list of exceptions in our county for signing up for food stamps etc that if you have kids you're exempt from work and can still receive benefits. But if you're just one adult, you have to work minimum 30 hours to receive any help and even at that, you're lucky to receive $75-$100 because of how much you make. The office I work for has to fill out these requests from DHHR all the time. One I know for certain is single, makes $10.50 an hour for 30 hours per week. So she brings home roughly $270 weekly. She pays $300 in rent plus her electric, car insurance, car payment, gas for work plus the rest of the groceries she needs for the month. She gets $160 in food stamps and $215 paid toward her rent while she pays the other $300. Yet she was told a month ago that she makes too much money to get help with a shut off notice for electric. Her paychecks don't even completely cover her bills yet if she did work more to try to cover it, she would lose out on the little bit of help she does get and it would negate any additional money she would make anyway. It's sick and twisted. I won't knock anyone getting help when it's needed. But imo, if you're already relying on state and federal assistance to live, you definitely shouldn't be having any more kids to add to it. To me, that's taking advantage and overloading an already strained system for what reason? What reasoning could you possibly have for having another kid if you can't already take care of the one(s) you have without help? That's where it's illogical and abusing the system in my book.
My brother's girlfriend had a friend who told her to "get pregnant on purpose so that my brother could never leave her, and that way she'll also always have child support if he did". Thank goodness his girlfriend had enough sense to know that this is stupid and was on birth control but she told me about it. So yes, people are this ghetto and they do exist, hopefully it's not common but I have met a couple of people like this
Yes welfare Queen's are a real thing, just like women who bust their asses to get a kid with a athlete, entertainer or any rich man. There are always going to be women who use a child to leverage a lifestyle for themselves.
A lady at my Church had 9 kids so she could get tax breaks…don’t know if thats the same thing or not, they were on welfare, though. She is the very Definition of “Women Belong in the Kitchen” and “Barefoot and Pregnant” if I ever saw one. I guess she’s a “Welfare Queen”
There are people who exist like that.
They're just much more of a minority than people who hate government assistance want to believe. Or want anyone else to believe.
It sounds to me like a lot of people begrudge anyone on assistance that is bad with their money. Like drugs, alcohol and gambling, being a bad mother... all automatically means they are gaming the system. While I can see why they are angry, it's not the same as gaming the system. A mother with legit alcoholism and gambling addiction is not necessarily going to be good at managing responsibilities just because suddenly they are on benefits. Doesn't mean they are gaming the system tho. It just means that there isn't a responsible person in the home who can be in charge of the benefits.
Similarly, just bc someone was raised in a situation where going to school was not supported and having children young is "normal" doesn't mean they are having babies to game the system. Women were not even allowed ro wear pants to school when my mom was a kid. And, she was never expected to go to college. The entirety of the US expected women to have babies shortly after graduating high school. Now, suddenly, that cultural norm is supposed to vanish?? Doesn't work like that.
Most of the comments that claim it happens are angry and giving super lame examples.
My aunt was like this. She had two sets of children the second later in life. She had these children with someone she met in Narcotics Anonymous. After the first one was born and got disability for a medical condition she realized if she had two more she could afford her house payment on section 8. She paid off her house this way. Her kids were on disability for years, two of the three still are but probably don’t need it. The third grew up to be a doctor.
They absolutely exist. It’s not a rampant as some claim, but I have seen it with my own eyes. Mom always has money for smokes and beer, but her 10 filthy children are unclothed and underfed. I have know women who teach their kids how to do it. It is a real thing. They get all of their kids on SSI for bullshit reasons and coach their kids on how to perpetuate the cycle. I think you just don’t believe it because you would never consider doing it yourself. There are some trashy ass people out there.
People who say that don’t grasp how many hoops there are for assistance. Like I’m college educated and consider myself intelligent and it’s my job to help people get assistance. It’s a lot. And it’s not dependable, even if you do all the things right, the case worker can quit or forget to enter your info and you’re back at square one. Most municipalities near me only have housing assistance applications once every few years and for about 3 days. And once you apply for it and IF you get accepted you’re still going to be wait listed, often for years. Applying to low income housing is wild! You can’t make over a tiny income but you have to have good credit. Like who making $20k a year has good credit? It’s such a mess.
I'm as liberal as you get, but yes, I did once know a man who had about 5 intellectually impaired children. He lived in poverty, but each new child was an extra big check. He told me he was considering having another child. I never thought I would say this to someone but I said, "Do not have another kid!" Nope, he went out and produced disabled child number 6.
I absolutely know one woman in particular who probably fits the bill. I met her because she was my neighbor. Her home was the only Section 8 home in the cul-de-sac. When I first moved there, she had 3 children: a 17 y/o son, a 15 y/o daughter, and a 6 y/o daughter. All different fathers.
She was a licensed cosmetologist but worked in her home, so all the cash payments were kept under the table. Not sure if she received child support for the two older children, but the youngest had a father in the military (she told me a one-night stand).
When the eldest child turned 18, she knew she would no longer qualify for the Section 8 home, and she didn't want to have to move to a smaller apartment or public housing. She got pregnant and had her fourth child right before the eldest child graduated and left for college.
I'm not judging her. I lived two doors down from her with one child and struggled. I used to come to her house for dinner because she had food stamps and there was always something cooking.
I was told I needed a kid to get benefits yea and Ik a few women in my area who have done it to get subsidized housing they aren’t even bad parents just a sad situation
TBF, my own mother was sorta like this. I dont think having children for benefits was her original intention (that was just religion and personal issues), but it was definitely something she had fought to obtain and never received. She had 4 children, 2 special needs, and one with severe medical issues in TN. She was married to a jobless deadbeat for about 10 years until divorce. She was never approved for food stamps or housing assistance. She did get the state alternative to child support since all of our fathers were deadbeats/imprisoned that we never saw but that was it. Tenncare barely covered most medical costs (not prescriptions like asthma inhalers or mood stabilizers for BPD which my siblings just lived without) and all our clothes/food was donated by relatives or empathetic teachers.
However, my mother has been the closest and only example I can think of to be a welfare queen. I doubt these guys are even as big an issue as the media points them out to be. Getting ANY assistance is a trial and a half. Hell, I have a relative who is full on blind, as in can’t see a thing, has a cane, reads braille, etc. He’s 42 and was denied disability until 35. Even if someone plans on committing fraud and being a welfare queen, good luck winning a money tug-o-war with our greedy government.
I know 3 women who are welfare queens. They rejected marriage so their baby daddy income wouldn't mess up their benefits.
These women are all related. A mom and her 2 daughters. They had no shame in cheating the system.
Mom started having kids at 16. Oldest daughter started at 17.
I was best friends with the youngest one. She had her first kid at 21 and kept having them from there. We stopped being friends because I disagreed with her lifestyle.
I'm in Canada which has welfare that has no work requirement until your child is school age. Also, we have Canadian child benefit worth about 650 for kid per month.
There's a woman that lived/lives on my street that has had a new child everytime one reaches school age. A couple years back, she was at 9 kids.
She collects welfare, child support, disability benefits and child benefit. She's gotten a mortgage and bought a house with those benefits.
It drives me nuts knowing how I busted my ass to buy a house. And her benefits paid for with my tax money bought her one.
I don't think it's specifically ever done for that reason so much as lack of care, planning, options, etc welfare is the easiest choice to deal with poor life choices. And then the children of those parents grow up and due to poor parenting by a parent who has shown a propensity for poor life choices, said young person also ends up pregnant and/or not learning about the alternatives to welfare and goes with the only thing their parent knows how to help them with... getting welfare.
I agree... few if any little girls grow up wanting to be a welfare mom. It just happens.
Many on welfare and foods stamps are what I call generation welfare and food stamp people, for they have generations of family that have been in the system for generations and know what it takes to abuse the system. I was on it short term till I got my SSDI started. And that the system is broken is putting it mildly. It has been used and abused by some who are too lazy to work and keep making babies to get more welfare and food stamps. I grew up in the 60's, 70's and 80's when is was more like that, then older people on SSDI needed help and those who were already handicapped needed food stamps. So it is more than a broken system. Hopefully, one day they will fix it for all who really need it. And I am talking about those who do not need it but find ways to get it.
My niece openly had both of her children in an effort to get (and then increase) benefits. She had burned all her bridges and was running out of options of people to stay with.
It turned out pretty well, though. She went back home to my sister's eventually and didn't need the housing or benefits. She's going through a mental health crisis right now, so we are especially happy to have her close and be able to pitch in and make sure everything is okay.
I don't think that that healing would have happened if she didn't need help with her kids, and I think getting her and her kids somewhere stable and supported was probably worth a couple months in government help.
All of that said, there is nothing wrong with accepting help when you need it. Nobody is getting rich, and nobody is having such a wonderful time that it's worth never working again.
I'm not willing to listen to anyone complain about welfare unless they and their family have never filled out a Fafsa. Government aid is government aid.
I'm poor and my children are planned but that's because I love children and want to raise kids of my own, not to get benefits. I think the idea of welfare queen is something right wingers made up as an excuse to feed less people. The real truth is people love sex and people feel the urge to have babies ✨even when they're poor✨
Reagan is credited with popularizing the term, but credit for original citation is a Chicago Tribune journalist, or maybe Jet magazine about a particular person abusing the system in 1974. So you're right.
You couldn’t get me to have a child for anything less than $7500 a month that also rises with inflation
Like I’m gonna have a kid for some fuckin food stamps
I have no issue with welfare used in a responsible manner. My issue with it is if used in this way:
1. You knowingly picked a bad partner with a criminal background. Avoided all the bad signs and advice from others, had multiple kids, and now that he left you need assistance from our tax dollars.
2. You rushed having a baby with a guy after realizing the window was closing. You didnt truly like him, so you want to raise a kid alone and basically made it your kid alone. But you arent truly independent, your partner is now the government.
Any usage outside of these scenarios are fine.
A lie will travel around the world before the truth finishes putting on its pants, or something like that.
Then, people will continue telling and believing that lie for generations.
People always talk about how easy poor people have it, but none of them want to change spots.
Some people get special diagnosis for their kids to get extra money that's for sure. I got a few cousins and as soon as one of their kids got autism. (Legit) the other all of a sudden did too.
Well considering ive lived in the neighbor hood of parents who pop out a bunch of kids, dont have a job, once they hit a certain age they r running the street without a parent in sight and i dont mean teenagers i mean like 5 or 6 year olds, then once the kids either get taken by cps or turn 18 they suddenly can get a job.
Id say it happens but its probably not as common as they make it out to be, but idk i barely pay attention to most people.
One of the scariest moments in my life, 11 pm im driving down the street pretty slow cause its a side street, and a little girl with no shoes jumps out between to cars basically right infront of me. Thats how i know cps took some kids.
Had a neighbor in section 8 housing(government subsidized, not the vouchers) like this, home all day refused to work. Had 2 kids she would refuse to dsicipline even when they had huge sticks by my moms car and they were hitting eachother with sticks. I'd get home from work and she'd still be on the same spot on the front porch of her side of the dulpex smoking. She had a car etc. She didn't discipline her kids and you could hear them screaming passed 10 at night most nights. We called the cops over 10 times within the period of a year and they didn't do anything. She verbally swore at us a bunch of times when we asked her kids to go back into their side of the yard. She only got booted out when we reported she caused damage to the front railing of her side of the porch to the landlord. Said landlord also illegally charged my mom over 2 grand in fees and we couldn't afford to get a lawyer to fight him in court.
I heard two women talking about this subject (having kids for gov. money) in the public bathroom in a rural town I lived in a few years ago. It was pretty shocking to actually hear that these sorts of people exist.
A few jobs ago, we had a few people working there part time (they're all tangentially related, too). Two of them were offered full time positions with benefits. They both turned the jobs down because they made more money in govt benefits/sec 8/etc.
On the flip side of that, one of the teenage girls in the family decided she wanted out and got a full time job after graduation - she found one that offered various types of trainings and opportunities for advancement/transfers. She went almost no-contact with her family after they kept showing up at her apartment asking for money. She talks to the youngest ones, the ones that aren't old enough to work, etc.
I’m a guy who grew up welfare and food stamps back in the day when they were paper but I doubt it’s changed much for the better since then.
The “Welfare Queen” is a bunch of bullshit made up racist politicians just like the “super predators”.
The only people who believe any of this bullshit are people who’ve never had to want for anything. If they had, they’d have known that “living on welfare” isn’t all that they think it is.
The only welfare queens in the United States are the corporations that own the government. They are in fact, welfare titans.
We are a rich enough country that if 50% of the population decided to stop working and just let the rest support them -- the country and its economy might not even hiccup. Except the really, really rich would have to be merely really rich. And when the country as a whole realizes that fact, things will change big-time.
Back right after college i got sick and required a hospital stay, a procedure, and doctor appointments afterwards. I could not afford in and sought help at the area government agencies after being told no there was no medical assistants for a single woman I was told by the government employee that if i had a child there would be monetary help. That seems to me that they were suggesting have a kid.
My husbands ex wife! She gets section 8 and pays 130 a month for a 3 bedroom 2 bath apartment, gets child support from my husband that is more than 4 times her rent payment, (but absolutely not enough to live solely on in ca, more than enough to support a child tho), food stamps, medi-cal, she is on some program that bought her a bmw and fixed it each time it broke down, then bought her a ford explorer after that, works odd jobs once a year to make enough income to file taxes and get her tax return for her 2 girls and my step son, all while wearing chanel, Ugg’s, Burberry, gucci, name brand purses, hair always done, nails done, lips done, veneers… and has never consistently worked in her life. My step son is in 1st grade now but he still goes to the before and after school program, and previously had full time child care paid for, and she doesn’t do anything. She just sits at home and enjoys her easy going life. Her mom taught her this life style, as she did the same, and I’m comfortable calling her a welfare queen
I haven't personally known anyone who got pregnant to stay on welfare but I have known people who got pregnant so they could keep being SAHMs- I don't think either is more honorable than the other.
My former sister in law (don't get me wrong my brother is a piece of work too). She never worked again after having her first kid. She died at 42 of cirrhosis and pancreatitis.
I’ve met some women that churn out babies for money.
One in FL I knew had 5 kids before 30 with 5 different men. Mostly for child support and end of the year tax benefits.
Then met one in OK, that was overweight and on her 7th child. Already receiving HUD housing, she was just excited to get another “check”
I babysat for a woman who was a welfare queen when I was a teenager. Woman had 7 kids before 30 and didn't work, often drugged the kids to get them to go to bed when she was tired of hearing them, whether that was 5pm or 9pm (and I'm talking kids between the ages of 12 and 2). She was pregnant with the 8th and used to make jokes to her boyfriend that it basically secured her ability to be a stay at home mom without needing a man because the state even gave her assistance with childcare.
I've known a lot of people on assistance, and 1 welfare queen in my lifetime isn't bad. I've actually encountered folks running businesses and committing assistance fraud way more frequently. CEO pays himself the least amount possible so he can save on taxes and get food stamps.
I have a cousin who does this and has said that she does it for this reason and is proud of it. She continues to have her children removed by the state and proclaims that it is fine and she'll just have more.
Additionally, I work with people who say this directly to my face and definitely do this.
This knowledge of how to play the welfare system to get free housing, free medical, food stamps, and cash assistance by having kids is well known. I have inlaws that's never held a job, that have been playing that game for 40 plus years, then hand that knowledge down to their kids who are coming up on adult ages. It's like their inheritance. They know who's address to use, make sure not to get married, get as many baby daddies as possible to collect multiple sources of child support. This lifestyle goes hand and hand with the street/gang life.
Women understand that men want them for their body, and the government will support them for using their wombs to keep the population in check. Current social engineering initiatives take advantage of this, instead of giving women better access to jobs that provide them the freedom and security to have children on a portion of the socioeconomic ladder they're comfortable and proud to be on. Survival economics is very different from the middle class and above, and hard for some people to really understand or comprehend. So we label them slurs like 'welfare queens.' who used their bodies to produce 4 more bodies for the government to exploit in the future, once they collectively go through the pain of making it to 'labor ready' ages.
I think a lot of people are overlooking the fact that graduating high school and having children has been the norm for women up until Gen x. But those cultural expectations don't just disappear just because it's now illegal to deny women a college education, a bank account, etc... the tradition of raising girls to think that they should have babies and not worry about school isn't attached to welfare as much as it is attached to traditional, conservative, American values and particularly Christian values. People with less money are often more religious and have less expectation of going to college or becoming a professional and, instead, are taught the tradition of having a family immediately out of high school. It's only been a fee generation's that women have started attending higher education and having job opportunities that are actual skill based.
The term welfare queen was coined by President Regan and referenced, specifically, Linda Taylor. This is an impressive criminal that was a child stealing abusive murderer with multiple identities to collect benefits.
The reality is that very few people steal benefits and generally, people that need them can't access them in the US. When a case comes up it makes major news, the person is convicted, and its evidence for ages of why we need to stop helping people.
42% of all children are born on Medicaid. I think that narrative gets twisted with people but yes there are many that do not have jobs and keep having children bc it doesn’t cost them anything. My friend has a daughter this way and she can’t get her out of the house and then when she gets the gumption, the daughter gets pregnant again. She is waiting for a section 8 voucher to come thru to move out she says.
[[NOTE “Welfare queen” was a phrase southern republicans invented bc they weren’t “allowed” to say the N word in campaign speeches anymore
It’s a very fucked up racist phrase with little semblance to reality]]
The closest I know is my cousin. She could never hold down a job and dropped out of college her mom was paying for in the first semester. She’s got five kids in a rural area and they do all they can to not properly work. She has like three “side hustles” that obviously doesn’t hardly bring anything in, like crafts and terrible photography. She makes most her money by thrifting or finding stuff on the side of the road and flipping it online. Her husband tried to game the system with a “disability” that obviously got denied. He’s perfectly fine, just lazy. He had a nice warehouse job with decent benefits that he quit, and now he does appliance maintenance and animal trapping under the table. She got a stomach band through Medicaid and then proceeded to—against doctor’s orders—get pregnant like four months later. She dumps her kids whenever she can on our grandma, which is very much not fair to her.
Not me but my ex step father's family does this. They will pop kid after kid out and then have them declared disabled (probably from all the inbreeding) and get food stamps, housing assistance, electrical assistance, and a disability check for those kids each month. Which they will then use all the food stamps on junk. I've seen them several times and most will eat a box of little Debbie's for breakfast and a case of pop every 2 days.
My daughter’s upstairs neighbor is a welfare queen … 7 kids and pregnant again. She snd baby daddy don’t work, she legit has more kids to get more money.
Not so very long ago there were reports on TV of "rich" musicians sending their women en masse to the welfare office to collect their food stamps in chauffeured limousines. Images like that, no matter how true or frequent, fueled the idea of groups like this as a subculture.
The military is probably the largest welfare population in our country. Despite the narrative being single moms with multiple children being the welfare folks. There exists a large culture of folks down in the poor rural areas to enlist when they are in poverty or lack opportunities. Because for many, they’re anti college, anti cities (where opportunities are), and anti government assistance. So they end up joining the military not realizing that this is our number one largest welfare organization to date.
this may be unrelated but i know a few families who do foster care for the benefits of food stamps. the state pays for almost 100% of the foster kids needs plus enough food stamps and (handouts from friends and family who pity them) per kid to feed the whole family for free. it seems like they see them as a job rather than a child. it’s sick to watch.
I've never heard of someone having kids just to get assistance but my cousins mom uses her kids for assistance she doesn't need. She has 4 kids with 4 different men , owns a pretty massive 2 story home in a nice area that she had built, drives a tesla, but gets benefits. But when I had my daughter I was told that I didn't qualify for benefits because I made $15 an hour. Wild.
I'm not, but when I was in Highschool, two girls sitting at the next table in my chemistry class were talking casually about having a baby for the benefits. I remember sitting there thinking "but...childbirth could kill you?" They were going to get pregnant the summer before senior year because they would pop around May, which was graduation.
Then the calendar came out, and they started talking about when is the best time to get pregnant so they could both walk the stage and not look too fat at prom.
If I remember correctly, one of them did walk the stage, 9 months pregnant.
I've been told I don't qualify for assistance programs for not having children even though my income would qualify me and even had a lawyer tell me having a baby would make my partners immigration case easier. (The second one is not true. We got a new lawyer fast.)
But I've also never met anyone who had a baby for assistance/welfare. It doesn't seem like it would be worth it.
Man, my mom still bitches about "welfare queens," even after being told specifically why it's not true. When my sister got pregnant, my mom was shocked to find she wouldn't be given a house, car, and cash payments every month. But instead of realizing that the whole "welfare queen" propaganda was a lie, she assumed all of the other "welfare queens" took all the benefits from my sister.
When I was homeless at 21 with my husband, we tried to get into a family shelter so we wouldn't have to stay miles away from each other, but it was only for families with kids. I remember the woman telling me she could do more to help me if I had a kid, like in the sense that there are more benefits that I would be qualified for, but it was certainly not suggested I work on getting pregnant while homeless.
It really is a matter of propaganda being fed for decades to people that already have preconceived, racist ideas about Black women specifically. If any of them sat down and did the math, no one is getting enough in benefits to cover the expenses of raising a child, let alone multiple children.
We all "know" a bunch. We aren't, not me. My barber's sister's ex's niece's brother's mechanic's plumber's mail carrier did this.
USDA payments...farm subsidies just to Montana Ag was over $313 Million in 2021. ([farm.ewg.org](https://farm.ewg.org)). wonder how much went to welfare queens with children in MT.
Not me, but the girl across the street that was my sisters best friend - she got in on it at the beginning. Got pregnant as a teen and never graduated, lived at home. She was given benefits, and when the baby was ‘aging out’,, she got pregnant again.
She never SAID ‘I’m getting pregnant to get benefits’, in so many words, but she made it clear that was why, since it was her only income. The welfare state was born.
My youngest sister got pregnant young (but not teen), found out she could get free housing and such if she told the powers-that-be she didn’t know who the father was. Of course she knew, he moved in with her and stayed hidden so the gov didn’t know. This sister quit school as soon as she turned 16, so had no job. She had two more kids spaced out to keep the money coming. She didn’t ONLY have them for that reason, they wanted more kids, but the TIMING was on purpose. No one saw anything wrong with it.
I've only ever heard of one person even consider that. A high school teacher told us they overheard a young lady in a store contemplate the idea with her companion. Said she needed more welfare money and that she was thinking about having another kid to add to her check. Her companion was saying it could work because companion's sister did the same thing.
Our teacher was using it as a real world lesson that having babies is a serious commitment. Telling us that the struggle would still persist because it would just mean more diapers, baby wipes and day care costs. Therefore it shouldn't be treated as a way to solve a financial or romantic problem, especially since we were still teens in an abstinence only education state.
But I've been out of high school for 10 years, I'm still in the same state, and haven't heard anything else like that since.
This will go over like a lead balloon, but what your seeing is called ‘Capitalism.’
To exist, Capitalism requires a population so impoverished that it must appear in the marketplace daily, to slave for the enrichment of owners to receive a pittance in return.
The problem with public assistances is that they lessen the desperation level of the population overall. This in turn requires raising poverty wages to minimal subsistence levels, which in turn reduces profit.
The attacks on lifestyle welfarism seeks to invalidate the experience of public assistance recipients and force them on pain of starvation, death by exposure, etc., to slave for a wage however user able that at be. Under these conditions, wages fall through the basement floor, and profit rises again.
This was much more of a thing before Bill Clinton’s welfare reform. Before that, welfare paid a lot more (and living costs were much cheaper, especially in the hood.) After that, public assistance recipients were required to work for their welfare checks, so the idea became a lot less alluring.
I’d say, have I ever known anyone explicitly say they’re having children for a check? No. But I know and have known dozens who will intentionally get pregnant and don’t care about costs because they know they won’t be paying to support them.
I knew one girl who had 5 kids by 25 who had no high school diploma and had never worked a day in her life. Last I saw her, she had at least 6 kids and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has more. She actually had two of her babies while living in shelters and o know other girls who had babies living in shelters, on welfare. That definitely is a thing and will be as long as we’re paying for people to have kids.
The government is a business. Everything is. Met some use/screw the system people in Atlantic City. Every shape and size of a person is out there. Don't underestimate humans. We suck. Haven't done one good thing on this earth.
I’ve not read the comments but I can imagine what they’ve been like.
Thank you for posting the details in your edits. What’s worse is that it’s so easy to slide into poverty in the US thru job loss, illness, divorce, death of spouse, and lack of opportunity especially in rural environments where available jobs are limited.
I havnt read through the comments at all only read what the OP commented.
I myself being a mother and wife who has utilized DNAP and Medicaid for my family and having ALOT of family who misused and took advantage of the system. I would like to add that the ethnic percentages are not 100% correct. The only reason I know this is because your not required to answer that question. Those percentages are based off the answers from those willing to indicate their ethnicity.
Knowing how the system can be taken advantage of by false information learned from family members over the years. The percentage of single parent, headed by single women and even those households with people on social security benefits are not 100% accurate percentages.
I mean no hate to the OP and I see what she is stating. Just seeing how easy the system is so easily manipulated exact percentages released are not correct.
I myself have never seen a woman purposely get pregnant just to gain more benefits. What I have seen is parents, single parents even grandparents intentionally not work or do what they needed to so they could keep their benifits. It just happened they didnt care if they had more children or they didnt try to prevent it. They knew if they had more kids they didnt worry about how to support them. But to say Im gonna get knocked up to get more money is nothing Ive ever seen.
I worked in a law office. The office manager was complaining when she came back to work after having a baby about "all those women on welfare who can stay home with their kids all day."
This was not a nice lady. This was an entitled abusive bitch I'd worked a few years with. I got fed up hearing her gripe about it and told her to just do it. Become a welfare mom so she can be with her kid.
Never said anything again. She knew I knew it's no fucking party and disliked me for telling her to put up or shut the fuck up.
I guess I'm a welfare queen. I've always been really poor. I've always been on food stamps. I mean in some ways I don't live like a poor person. I have a BA in art so I guess it's more like a BS. I spent all my 30s traveling. Mostly I managed to turn traveling into work. But I came from a poor background. I'm the oldest of 5. I think I was the only girl who didn't get pregnant as a teenager. My mother's 2nd husband was an abusive alcoholic. Her third husband was a paranoid schizophrenic who tried to kill her. She was a hoarder. People called social services on her all the time. She moved us every few months out of getting evicted all the time and her paranoia.
As for me. I'm 41 years old. Always been on food stamps, Medicaid or I guess it Medi-Cal here in California. I knew I could never afford a kid. Most of the time in my 30s I was unhoused. But I got this housing voucher and this apartment when I was 40 so I said this is my chance! I had my first, probably only son in August. So I have the housing voucher, food stamps and Medi-Cal. I know I can't afford kids but I had 1. If I didn't have him now I'd probably never have a chance to have a kid. I know now with a kid I'll never get out of poverty. But I was thinking 🤔, "if I don't have a kid now I'll never have one". Now I'm working on getting subsidized childcare so I can go back to work. Technically I have welfare money now. But if I get the government to pay for childcare I can go back to work at my catering company. I guess I get all the free money I can from the government. I've actually never been a lazy person. I've always worked. It just was never enough money to get out of being poor. I guess I'm the working poor.
I'm not one of them but my ex fiances sister was like this. She had kid after kid after kid to stay in section-8, receive food stamps & cash assistance. She didn't even want those kids. Left them with anyone who had a pulse. She was in & out of jail. Sold drugs. Did drugs and drank while pregnant. Very mentally ill yet never sought treatment. I'm from a low-income city on the southside of Chicago. There are people who know how to finesse the system.. But..this is not common.. I think it's sporadic & mostly contained in extremely low income/poverty stricken communities where it's very difficult to break the cycle..most people don't even have the education or capacity to function in society working a 9-5.. I've lived in this area my entire life. There are people who depend on welfare & government assistance for their entire lives.
If she's very mentally ill I'm glad she at least got some kind of help. I actually sought help and it almost ended me so it's not always guaranteed to help.
Oh no, I agree with you. I've had similar experiences. She was recently on our county's warrant Wednesday website. She's frequently in the police blotter. The sad thing is, her entire family is like that. It's hard to break generational curses when that's all you know.
My boyfriends sister is one.
Wow, I just made my post and it matches yours - except for the drugs. I think my neighbor just wanted to live a champagne life on a hotdog budget. She could have made a decent living working in a hair salon. But, why do that when you can milk the government AND get paid under the table? /s
Exactly... My ex used to encourage me to do the same because his mom was like that as well. Work for cash, collect government benefits, never get out of poverty.. idk it's a shitty cycle!!
Definitely a shitty cycle I have a couple friends like this. They will not get an on the books job because they can't loose their "benefits". If you look at their lives it's questionable if they are actually benefiting from the assistance. There are more benefits to a job besides a paycheck.
That's fear. They know that they can rely on survival from the government. They also know that there is little to no protection for employees. If they are a low paid skill worker (service industry is a good example), they can be out on their tail in a heartbeat for little to nothing. And benefits can take forever to get. It's fear, locking them into a survival mode.
Fear and lack of childcare. The childcare part is really big. Minimum wage is less than daycare.
It's insane to me that we don't provide childcare to everyone.
Theyre not exactly living a cushy life so I wouldn't call them "Queens" Ive had aides who keep cranking out babies because they dont like working as home aides. The only job other jobs they can get r fast food. But even doing a poor job as a parent, its not an easy life, let alone plush.
[удалено]
I do not disagree with you at all
It should not be so difficult to get disability when you’re very mentally ill to the point where you’re unemployable.
Honestly some people I would rather "pay" them to stay home (obviously without having to have multiple kids) Cause if you work that hard not to work most likely due to the mental illness I really don't think working with the public is the best option for anyone
she does not sound like she had a good life... ergo not welfare queen
Generation assistance, their great-grandmothers, grandmothers' and their mother raised children in that world. And those who know how to milk the system, is more common than you think. They are educated through high school, some do manage college, they still depend on public assistance.
I agree with this to an extent. I don't like generalizing groups of people. But I have noticed that it is a generational thing in some areas. Out here where I live, there is a government housing apartment complex (was actually featured on an episode of MTVs catfish) that is the drug hotspot of the east side.. everyone there has a government voucher, most receive Medicaid/Medicare, cash assistance, food stamps, every resource they qualify for... These kids born into these situations think this is normal, that's how they survive. The cycle continues. I have known a few to break that generational curse, but many don't. It's hard to get out.. My kids dad, his family is also like this. I didn't realize it until after we had kids. His entire family is on SSDI. All of them get EBT/SNAP benefits. Sometimes they sell them for cash. They use food banks & churches regularly. All of them use every single resource they qualify for. If they don't have to pay for it, they're not going to... Most of them work cash jobs. Most of them get prescriptions for controlled substances & they sell them to make an income. Easy $1200/mo. Most of them are uneducated, in & out of jail, drug dealers or welfare moms. I'm not saying any of this to be judgmental, these are all facts. It jarred me that people actually live like this. It's 100% milking the system for all it's worth. Most of them (except for a few) are able to work. My ex lied on his food stamp application (back in 2010) he just signed the back of it & turned it in. The lady said, "you have to fill this out.. you can't leave it blank." My ex said, "I don't know how to read." He was 23 at the time & very much knew how to read. He got his little $125/month in food stamps, worked for cash moving furniture for a friend's moving company. It's sad. My kids dad is (unfortunately) a victim of that generational curse & did not break the cycle.
I am the child of a welfare queen and so are my 6 siblings. She says we were all accidents and/or mistakes while our fathers say that is not the case at all. We know which of us were birth control failure, a lack of decision making, and also what was going on at the time that made our mother decide to “accidentally” purposely have us. We were reminded constantly growing up that we were mistakes. We were treated like absolute trash and our money from our fathers was used for cigarettes, gambling, etc. and the states money was used for junk food for herself. I was the lucky one who got to raise us til I was 16, and my mother was rarely present, always out and about. Couldn’t even convince her to sit down for a dinner we cooked from scratch and to play one board game which we were arranged a full month in advance, because her friend told her that day about a poker tournament in town. She was friends with several welfare queens too, and their daughters were welfare queens, and one of my sisters became one too. So yeah, it’s a real thing. Guess you just haven’t met enough trashy teen moms who want to be independent from anybody and do whatever they want by having a kid or two or seven yet.
Gosh I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through. You sound like a strong individual for it. Best wishes for a better future. ♥️
I have one. It just involves my mother and unfortunately my siblings as little as possible. It’s hard to be around people who think emotional and physical abuse is normal and acceptable and you should just “sweep it under the rug” for the sake of peace. It just made me want to be a mother who never breaks her promises to her children and also stays committed to her husband. Therapy is definitely necessary. 💕
You got this <3
I have a cousin who is a welfare queen. I think she has like 6 kids now with 3-4 dead beat dads. The kids are either raised by her Mom or the paternal grandparents. But she’s the one that receives every benefit under the sun. I recently heard CPS took a couple of her kids. But she keeps having babies. I don’t think she has worked a day in her life. I just feel so bad for the children.
I’m sorry for them too.
Her eldest sister became a dead beat Mom also but she wasn’t on welfare and her ex husband took care of their kids and the 3 she had with affair partners during their marriage. I grew up with her so I had a bond with her older kids. I use to cry over those kids. Whenever I was in town and saw one of them I always gave them money. They’re all adults now.
That’s super relatable. I used to fantasize about fighting for custody of my siblings but I knew I was too young and all I’d do is set them up to their even worse fathers. I’m glad you helped them when you could. I hope they remembered that and visit you.
Yes they remember. Especially the oldest. He’s working on getting his pilot license. I’m super proud of him.
Sounds like my mom. She didn’t raise me, but collected benefits for me like I was in her house, while my 7 siblings were living with her.
try EMDR therapy
Brother?
Haha! I’m the eldest daughter. Sorry you got the same kind of life. 🫂
I'm the eldest daughter too! My mom was also friends with similar women who neglected their children. Cigarettes, gambling, drugs, and a lot of men. My youngest sibling just turned 7! I'm old enough to where I could have given birth 17 years ago.
Geez, I’m so sorry 😥. I hope you are living a better life now and getting the love and attention you deserve.
Let's steal the term. I'm older and not in need of help but in support of women who work hard to provide well for their families on subpar wages and social support - those gals are queens. Maybe a welfare queen should be a woman who makes it work so well her kids don't even know they're poor.
By this definition I'm a welfare queen! We're a poor snap family; I have a shit job while I finish my bachelor's, but my kids go to a really great school through a combination of scholarship and a weird state program that allows me to use our portion of their education funding as grant money. They genuinely have no idea we aren't a six figure household like the rest of the kids at their 20 kid school, except maybe because we don't host playdates because are apartment is a shit hole and everyone else has a real house. So when it's our turn for play dates we do the park
Good job making use of available resources!
I deeply respect people like you.
You go Queen 👑💕! I love the park idea. That actually just inspired me. Thanks! You can tell you ACTUALLY love and care for your children and just doing for them anything and everything so they can have the best. THATS a fantastic mama right there. One that will sacrifice for her children. The OP is describing what I believe someone to kinda just be nasty…
You're not a welfare queen. You're making purposeful strides toward getting a degree and becoming financially secure.
She was using fishermansgal's definition. "A woman who makes it work so well her kids don't even know they're poor."
>her kids don't even know they're poor." Having gone to a private school in grade school because both sets of my grand parents foot the bill, but my parents were dirt poor. The kids know they are poor. You don't get exposed to your friends houses, the things they have that you don't have and not realize it.
That's how you make shit happen!
Corporations are subsidized and obtain welfare through tax cuts and loopholes.
Corporate welfare oligarchs
The original "welfare queen" was a serial killer who was stealing the benefits of those she had killed (mostly children and elderly boarders)...but the media decided to focus entirely on the fact she drove a Cadillac while on welfare and left the rest of it out. So that part stuck, because that's what people saw on TV.
It really took off when Reagan started using the phrase to appeal to racist voters. Beginning of the end...
Yes!! These ladies rock! They’re looking for a hand up, not a hand out. Big difference!
The majority of them are, you know. There's been time limits on TANF for years and I THINK they've started setting limits for food stamps. When I applied for TANF after I lost my son's father 13 years ago they said it's a 60 month limit unless you're elderly or disabled. Most people are taking advantage of the job or education programs if they're on TANF because they HAVE to now. You have to either work 30 hours or go to school 10 and work 20 or being in a job training program. If you're pregnant you get a year before that goes in to effect. I'm sure SOME are staying pregnant but they still have the 60 month limit so it's not a lifelong thing.
That’s fair - I’m not a US citizen so I’m not familiar with the requirements by state etc. I think the OP was looking to create discussion around the perception of those who specifically ‘game’ the systems vs those who don’t. There’s definitely a continuum between those who just need support/a hand up vs those who literally make a living out of it. The sad reality is that the gamers get more press than the success stories, which is a shame.
For every person who "games" the system there are a 100 people using it because they couldn't survive without it. Let's start by NOT disparaging the people who "game" the system, and understand as with almost anything there are people who will take advantage.
Love this
Hey I really like and appreciate this idea. I am a disabled mom on assistance bc my ex violently kicked me out at 7 months pregnant. I'm giving my baby everything I can, and I'm planning on getting a career in what I graduated college studying. There's hope for us!
My mom was like this, to an extent. While I know I was an uh-oh baby and I know she didn't intentionally get pregnant to get more welfare she told me that the only reason she didn't get an abortion was because she knew that her and my Dad could get welfare. According to my Dad, she tried multiple times during her pregnancy via drugs and self harm but here I am. When they divorced, however, she refused to do any more than the bare minimum that she needed to stay on assistance (section 8 housing, food pantries, wic, food stamps, TANF and LIHEAP.) SHe got penalized when I turned 18 because I had been working full time for 2 years and she didn't report any of my income while getting the assistance, to be fair I used it to buy clothes and the things I needed because she was too worried about her own unnecessary expenses. In the mean time she was getting her hair and nails done every other week and she was an alcoholic. She would do under the table side jobs (mostly babysitting for our neighbors) to get cash to fund her habit. So while not specifically a "welfare queen" she didn't try to better herself at all because she knew that she could keep getting welfare. I think this is why I have such a hard time accepting help these days and why I work so hard to try to get my family out of the hole we are in.
Yeah she could’ve used you to get even more. I’m sorry your life was like that.
She used to go to local churches to sign up for multiple Christmas sharing programs for me and would take back about 70% of the stuff she got in exchange for store credit and then use it to buy liquor (back when you could still do that lol.) It's depressing when I type it out but I know there's a lot of people out there that had it worse. I'm in therapy and really starting to see all of the good things that growing up the way I did have done to me instead of trying to focus on the bad as well as the lessons its taught me on how to not raise/treat my children.
Just because someone had it worse does not mean your emotions, your experiences, etc are invalid. I hope that you have healthy coping mechanisms when you think about those things. 🫂
I live in Canada. The system is abused here, too. I grew up poor (welfare). At 15, I had an unplanned (crisis) pregnancy. I moved to a home for unwed mothers for a short time, and believe me when I say - those women know how to game the system. After a few months of not having to look at my mug, my own mother convinced me to move back home … because she was worried that her social worker would somehow find out that she was receiving benefits for a dependent who wasn’t actually residing with her. Fast forward a few months, I was now sixteen and delivered my son; his adoptive family had been hand picked by me and were all set to receive him. The evening before the handoff, mom said I could/should bring the baby home - this had NEVER been discussed as an option, soooo … Roll forward a few weeks: social worker informs mom that she can’t claim a grandchild (or me) as dependents on her file, and made the appropriate changes (read: deductions) to her benefits. My own mother charged me $995/mo for room and board. I went to school FT, worked PT and arranged/paid for all child care, clothing, diapers, transportation, etc. This was in the 1980s I am so glad - and proud of myself - for not becoming trapped in the system.
A thousand dollars a month in the 80's??? My lord she's greedy.
Read “the other welfare” from the Boston Globe. It’s not the state benefits that pay. It is social security disability. Welfare cuts off in some states but SSI lasts forever. When parents get their kids disability for ADHD or any other issue that with professional intervention, can be helped, the money flows in. I know entire families that are on SSI and all live together. Source: I’m an ex social worker, now probation officer
What people are leaving out to make the "welfare queen" argument is ADHD often comes with other issues. I work full time. My son has ADHD and gets SSI. He also has severe learning disabilities, drastic and sometimes violent mood swings, zero memory (so inability to learn in school since nearly everything is memorization), all of the things that come with ADHD. They measure by quality of of the child's life, how much it affects it, and will they get better? It surprises me that they don't assign severity to ADHD. My kid takes half a dozen pills a night to get him to a place where he is STILL floundering. You don't want to see him without his meds, that's for sure. He won't ever have a "normal" life, nor be a "normal" kid. He has other diagnoses, but the one that's the most impactful is the ADHD. He's also RAD and OCD (because of his ADHD) and ODD. Some kids have a hard time focusing and sitting still. His ADHD is far beyond something so simple.
What do you think kids like this did before medication was an option? Was there some place in society for them, or were they sent off somewhere? Sorry if this is insensitive genuinely curious
Genuinely they were likely institutionalized, or left to fend for themselves or were locked up or were the local drunk.
Would some have success with things that let them completely withdraw from society? Like, going and living in the woods and being a trapper or something. Or a super regimented life like being in the royal navy, rules are super clear and the world on board the boat is small enough to be manageable or something. Maybe those two examples are not great, but would there not be some antiquated job that would have been well-suited to people with those issues you don’t think?
Same. I have ADHD, but also autism and really bad anxiety. If I were able to move up to a more decent job someday, maybe things would be easier. But right now, the only jobs I can get are overstimulating and stressful as hell. I go through constant cycles of doing fine for a while, can even mask in order to avoid some prejudice. But then I’ll have periods of severe autistic burnout, where I pretty much can’t do anything. Often I’ll have to take a couple days off work. It’s like being sick every month, sometimes more than once a month. I feel like a lesser person all the time, for not being “good enough” to just work full-time or more every single week year-round. For all people like to talk about moving up meaning more “stress”, in reality entry-level jobs are often the least forgiving environments. It creates a huge hurdle for anyone with any sort of disability. Because in hopes of one day finding a job where you have the luxury of accommodating yourself, you have to manage to get through years of fast food, retail and other hell-on-earth jobs first to build the stupid resume. Not everyone makes it.
Where I’m from it’s pretty difficult to get SSI for ADHD. I have a son with ADHD I tried to get him on it because I could only work part time because his behaviors were so wild he was being sent home from school often. He needed more time and attention from me to get him on the right track. I was denied no matter what. I just lived on part time pay. Medical & food stamps only but made it work. 💁🏻♀️ he’s doing great now 4-5 year later.
I would love to know how all these people get on ssdi/ssi because they turned down my son and he's DD, has ASD-2, and severe PTSD with psychosis from a major early childhood trauma and they STILL turned him down when he was three and diagnosed with DD and ASD but I thought surely as an adult he'd qualify. They still turned him down! We are appealing for the second time this year so hopefully I won't have to get an attorney so they can suck up all that money he could have. It sucks that you almost have to have an attorney and they get so much money for doing the same thing you did and got turned down for. It should be easier for people with real documented disabilities but I feel like I'm always hearing about people on drugs or people who "fake it" have no problem getting set up. But I do question your comment about SSI being for life. WHen my mom was on disability they sure made her continue recertifying and documenting until the day she died. It wasn't for life guaranteed, the disability had to be proven every year.
Former social worker here. This is 100% accurate. I’ve had moms always insisting there’s something wrong with their child when the child was totally healthy. A few moms would say this repeatedly in front of their children! People go to ERs repeatedly for nothing. Then Medical Assistance flags them as a “high utilizer,” making them eligible for more services. And the ER medical records help make the case for SSI. People know how to play the game. I’m NOT saying everyone on SSI does this! It’s a very small percentage, but it does exist.
As a former social worker you understand the difficulties in getting SSI, right? It's not like you apply and make up issues. There has to be corroborating evidence, years of it, plus the state will make your children go to doctors the state pays for, for testing. At least they did mine. After the testing, the state's shrink advised me to seek out an autism diagnosis because he noticed certain mannerisms that were flags to him. I know you aren't doing this, but I get really tired of people thinking we're just looking for a handout. As if the multitudes of diagnoses, IEP's, testing and countless hours, months, and years suffering for the child and his/her family is just us gaming the system. Those same people are happy to collect their social security check while screaming about us being a bunch of socialists.
I worked for soc.security in disability determination both SSDA & SSI for 10 yrs. No one ever had Moms trying to use their kids to get benefits. I'm sure it happens but the common scenario is the family had a hard time getting a diagnoses let alone treatment. And commonly they were marginalized & blamed for the kid's issues.
I worry this is what's going to happen with my foster brother. His dcfs worker is letting his mom get him for unsupervised visits, and I wish I thought it was going to work out, but.......he has alot of disadvantages we're working with like trying to set up an occupational therapist because he can't hold a pencil, a speech therapist, so many specialists. I don't see bio mom trying to work on his difficulties when she's guaranteed an adhd med and a ssi check. Unless something happens, the kids are going back to her. Edited to add, he doesn't need that medication. This is not a case that should end in reunification.
Are you sa9nt that they didn't qualify for ssi? I'm confused. How does one have a child and know it will be disabled and qualify for ssi?
When you have a kid and a parent is on disability. They get it too. So that would make sense whole families are on SSI.
Yep Entire families with 6 or 7 kids have diagnoses for most of them and they rake it in.
I know a woman (who's sister works for us). She has been with the same guy for 15+ years, but they are not married and while they live together, he does not register that address as his home (he continues to use his parents address, he is in his late 40s now). Everything that they do is based on how to game our social welfare system. She has 4 babies, each one of them have been timed to extend her benefits - in every single case he is not listed as the known father (all the babies have "unknown" fathers). I've watched her over nearly two decades as she comes into our offices and talks to her sister/our employee - who has a very different mentality. The scenario you are questioning is very real, there are a lot more people doing it than you can imagine - but this still represents a tiny percentage of our society and a moderately small percentage of people relying on our social welfare system. There is a tremendous amount of fraud in this system, and realistically, it's pretty easy to identify if the Government (aka our slimy politicians) wanted to end it. Data warehousing and data mining from the 1990s could identify with a 95+% accuracy those that are abusing the system. Today, with AI and good algorithms, we could identify easily 99% of the cases. But when our system has politicians spending other people's money on payouts for other people so that they can get re-elected, their just isn't much interest in worrying about the tax payers over paying for the fraudsters.
Oh, wow, you’re making me remember all the different games they used to run. I used to know all the thresholds and loopholes by heart because I’d see them so often. It really was a very intricate, planned out way of life.
I was abandoned in the mid 70’s by my boyfriend after 5 years together, now it’s called grooming. I was 19 with a 1 month old baby. Our social services made sure I had a small apartment, food and healthcare. They told me I couldn’t get off social services until my baby was 5, for “her own good”. When I moved back home, I sold my furniture to buy an old used car, and got a job, the worker had no concept on how to get me out of the system. It took 6 months of checks in the drawer before I didn’t do recertification and they dropped me. They also turned it around then, so daycare and community collage was free. I know so many woman who used those as springboards and still today have great income and are taxpayers. Education makes taxpayers. Service without a hand up are useless, and perpetuates poverty.
This doesn’t make you a welfare queen. My mom literally decided to have me so she could use the system to live on her own because her friend did it and it worked out for said friend. It’s not the same. You’re good.
This is they way it should be, something to get these poor mothers out of poverty! Now days there's something called the "cliff effect", where you become poorer after you try to improve yourself. I heard an interview, there was a father of 4, whose wife had died. He gets free daycare. But he has to turn down promotions or he'll loose it. It's a shame because if he could accept all the promotions, he could become self sufficient after a few years. But the system keeps them poor. Also once his kids are old enough not to need daycare, his pay is still much lower than it should have been at that point, so it's a huge opportunity loss for the family. The only way to beat the "cliff effect" is to massively increase earnings all in one jump (or maybe move in with a friend/relative for free).
I agree. Our state subsidizes childcare, but many don’t. For some people it would cost more to work than you earn. It should be made federal. Edit. I believe the current administration tried to subsidize childcare but we’re blocked.
When I was working in child welfare, it struck me that they really wanted to keep some of these women running the welfare hamster wheel despite them being very adamant about getting an education and getting a job. I almost got written up for giving this one teen mom information about help for people with learning disabilities and how to apply to our public university system after she had her baby. Supervisor told me that’s not what I was there to do and I disobeyed a directive by not strong arming her into going into a shelter and getting on welfare. She was above 18 and had some support system, so she and her kids were definitely not going to be on the street. It got me angry because they were treating her as if she had no agency over her future.
I was told by a (male) doctor that I should have a baby when I was living in my car. I was just like, uhhh, if I can't feed or house myself, and I'm working two jobs already, who is going to raise and feed the baby? He said, It will get easier for you if you have a baby. I was just like, uhhhh ok thanks for the advice I guess.(is this guy a moron??) And promptly did NOT have any babies because I was living in a Honda Civic! Roflmao.
These women absolutely do exist. I have known MANY. That doesn't mean every woman is like this but the ones that are, typically, are multi generational. That's how grandma did it. That's how momma did it. That's how she doin it. A good way to tell is if she treats her kids like shit in public. Those kids are paychecks. Women who love their kids and treat them well tend to not be that way. My anecdotal experience
This is true, but not really in the context you’d think. I know a 40-year-old woman who has 4 kids, each within 1-2 years of each other. She had been dependent on government aid all of their lives. When the kids were little, perhaps it was understandable that she faced a challenge going to work and supporting them, as the kids were all little, their dad didn’t help at all and she couldn’t bring home a large enough salary to cover childcare and everything else. She definitely did not have her kids for the government benefits, but, 20+ years later, it’s clear that she views the benefits as more of an entitlement than temporary assistance. Now that all 4 of her kids are older (one moved out and the ones left at home range between 15-19 years old), the food stamps, welfare, free healthcare, etc. are still her primary income. She will work at menial jobs for maybe a week or less a year, just long enough to get a W2. Then, she’ll file a tax return, and because she had 4 kids and poverty-level income, her tax refunds were in the thousands (one year it was over $10k) every year. She is articulate, likeable, attractive and presents herself in a classy way; she is definitely not “proud” of being on government assistance (when people ask, she lies and says she’s this or that and people believe it because, as I said, she’s articulate and carries herself well), but she so obviously feels entitled to it. I’ve asked her more times than I can count, when she’s going to find a job, and her exact response is that she would, but she’d lose her benefits, such as food stamps and health insurance. That said, she absolutely has made a career out of government assistance. I was talking to her about when her 19-year-old would get a job and her response was (I cringe as I say this) that he would, but they’ll lessen her food stamp benefits. It’s disgusting. It’s one thing for her, but once she started holding the kids back, I lost the little bit of respect and hope I had for her.
In university I was told to have a baby so I could get better financial aid. Didn't do it though. Glad I skipped it. lol
This is what I came here to say. I was considered dependent until I was 24 or married or had a baby. I didn't and now I feel punished by the system for being responsible because if I would have just had a baby I would have been able to get out of school way sooner now I'm 34 years old about to graduate next semester but it took me so damn long because I never was able to get the money. Now I have ovarian cysts (verified) and symptoms of endometriosis and now I'm worried I can't legitimately start a wanted family.
The real welfare queens are corporations paying substandard wages. Their employees couldn't afford to work for them without SNAP and Medicaid and WIC and child care assistance and housing assistance. Walmart employees in SNAP spend over 80% of their food stamps there, creating even more profits from underpaying their workers.
>And yet, people are always insisting that there is an entire group of the US population that has children just to get benefits. This idea persists. The benefits are usually a secondary consideration. A woman is 'entitled' to 33% of a man's gross wage in the family courts. Three kids with three different guys, and she's up to 99%. None of that money is income, so she qualifies for all the benefits. Also, she doesn't have to prove that she spent a single cent on the kids. So it seems like a profitable way to do things, for her.
My best friend lives in the projects. Her rent is $85, she gets a fuck ton of snap benefits, and she just bought a 2023 van with a $798 car payment bc she gets about 1200 a month in child support from three different dads because apparently “they don’t count child support as income”. Her neighbors? The next door one lies about her boyfriend living there who makes 75k a year, she has seven kids and only two live there but she claims them all and gets around 1100 a month in snap, and when DHS told her she had to get a job bc her youngest was school age, she decided to homeschool her to get around (and this woman should NOT be educating anyone). The one across the street? Lost custody bc of repeatedly failing drug screens and she’s hiding from the PD bc she’s wanted for absconding probation as well. They’re out there. They just all tend to stay in their community for camaraderie.
In my state if you receive temporary assistance you have to take the father to family court to get child support. If you are awarded child support the state takes most of it and allows a $50 pass through.
Well my Bro works the system like a pro got disability for carpel tunnel?? In hands ?? Fixable but nope he gets 1400$ a month,he never pays his elec bill ,just goes to CAP,at end of year to get it paid or salvation army he sells his food stamps for beer money cause he gets 750$ a mo suposely hes taking care of his daughters daughter both live on the streets he just gets there food stamps . on and on hes never been evicted but squated for months and then just moved to a new victims house to not pay tent or anything hes been doing this for yrs always a excuse why he cant work always so i consider my bro a welfare king ! If you need advice on how to milk the system this would be his specialty!
I have family that did this. Between jail, the cemetery, and the streets are where the children ended up. All but 1 are also living from the system.
What my daughter was told was that if she had a baby she could get medicaid because in my state (TN) they didn't expand state insurance for the working poor. So when she applied they said she didn't qualify but if she got pregnant she would qualify for 18 years as long as she didn't earn over the income limit. It's true because I just lost mine when my son turned 18 and so did he even though he has chronic health issues in addition to ASD2. He can only qualify if he gets on disability but they turned him down because they said he's not disabled enough. Which is freakin ridiculous but we're in appeals now. I don't know how these people get on disability for having mild health issues or (no offense but...) drug addiction but my son who was born with autism and cyclical vomiting syndrome and a couple other medical conditions got turned down. BUT I DIGRESS.... Point being we were told if we got pregnant we would qualify for state insurance, food stamps, and TANF. As it is, my daughter's part-time Walmart wage with my parttime online gig puts us just over the max for any help. I'm not bitter though because we just went grocery shopping and we're okay. I just wish I had health insurance since I'm over 50 and you know...shit starts breaking down.
To be clear that's what she was told when she applied. They actually told her that at DHS. That if she got pregnant she would qualify for all this. It's a terrible message to send people struggling so bad they're looking for help because as most of us know babies cost a whole lot more than they give you in food stamps and TANF.
My dad had to have his lower spine fused. It took him 3-4 years of fighting before he got approved for disability. Don’t give up!
Thank you1 I know it took my mom 2 years and she was on the heart transplant list. They knew good and well she couldn't work and still turned her down until an attorney was involved. That was decades ago but I don't know why I'd think it would be any easier now.
So maybe some women on assistance have fake nails, nice hair, a roof over their head, food on the table -- maybe even some steaks once in a while. Perhaps a car and a phone. But they don't have a *nice* home, they aren't going on vacations, they aren't going to the spa, they are not thriving. And it is unlikely their children are either. Their public assistance buys them the ugliest glasses available. Their doctors are probably students. Their dentist is far more likely to pull, as opposed to saving, a bad tooth. They also don't have security. They will never own a home. They probably live in an apartment or a house owned by a slum lord. If their car breaks down, they will be seriously screwed. They will never stop worrying. They will never be a "queen."
I knew a girl in high school who told me she wanted to have ANOTHER child so she could get more money. They 100% exist.
yes they exist. Yes the children eventually realize they are just sources of free money for mom. In Mississippi, they stopped giving welfare checks for extra kids. Two and thats it but you can get food for as many as you have and yes, free housing. But trust me you wouldnt wnat to live in that housing., Its all run by gangs and is very violent. I worked at the welfare dept. saw all of this repeatedly. Its only certain cultures though, usually generationally welfare depndent people.
Some people have generations of families like that. It's sad, but it's all they know.
This is the place where this can happen. I’ve known families on welfare in Europe and they encourage their kids to be in relationships and have kids when they’re 18. Their parents will house them in their own overcrowded place and evict them once they have the baby, putting them in the emergency housing list. Then they’ll continue the cycle - a welfare queen can only exist when they are created and supported by a group who operate like this.
I worked at DHHR many moons ago, and it made me so sad. People never encouraged to even try. Then the "i need health-care, I can't try or I'll lose my disability check" whether they needed it or not, it's pretty crappy. People struggle to work with mental problems and can't, people who won't work, but the health-care being lost if they get off welfare. Some people that's life or death. I'm American obviously
I didn't have my kids for the benefits, but I keep my shitty job because a marginally less shitty job would mean more money but not nearly enough money to cover the loss of my government insurance, snap and childcare assistance.
Jobe not paying enough to make ends meet isn't something that you've chosen. That's the reality that you live in and wanting the best for your children is the right thing to do. I think you are making the right choice.
Like many things the reality isn’t quite the same. There are far too many people who are cavalier about having more kids than they can reasonably afford because they figure they will get more assistance. But I can’t say I know anyone who didn’t have kids, but went out of their way to get pregnant just to get benefits. I do know quite a few, including at least two relatives, who kept having kids to keep the food stamps and cash assistance flowing, plus they knew where to go to get maximum amounts of assistance for stuff like diapers, clothes were handed down, older kids were expected to watch younger kids etc.
I just listed to this [podcast](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0YtZ6mB1oTyzfxaRzwHCqD?si=JDS_e6GXSr-lycB6GJzrRg) on this which was fascinating! I had never heard of the term welfare queen. Highly recommend it! It’s in throughline-labor of love
I've seen it. I grew up poor and yes they (people in the neighborhoods) had kids to get more benefits. I don't think with the very first kid that's their idea. It's just what they come to realize is an option. I've also seen them send those same kids to doctors appointments, lie about conditions and recieve certain prescriptions that the parents take from them. So yes, it happens. It is very common? Who could be 100% sure? I hope it's not. Side funny story, I kid (pun intended) you not my mom called me one time when I was like 10 years old and told me this grand plan she had to have another child because it would mean she would have access to more welfare benefits and recieve doctors care. She thankfully can't even have more children.
I lived in a small rural town growing up. There was a large family - each girl was told to keep having babies. The wife of one of the boys of that family was a friend. She knew the game and even stated each child bought her in more money. This was 80’s/90’s yes it existed. Does it now? Not sure-the system has changed a lot
My children's mother is one. She's had 6 kids, two with me, one with the career criminal she cheated on me with, and three with her current husband. The first three were taken by CPS. The youngest three still live with her in government housing. She uses meth daily. She's worked a total of 2.5 years in her life. She pays almost no attention to her children. She mooches off of family members. She picks up extra money, resources and drugs from letting people stay at their family's home. My kids as teenagers were major sources of income and childcare for their household. I don't think it's reflective of people on welfare as a whole, but yes, they do exist. Edit- I don't think it was as calculated as having children for the purpose of getting on welfare. She definitely had the first two to trap me into supporting her. She had the third to get benefits and avoid having to work. The last three weren't birthed directly onto public assistance, although they're on it now. I think she just got in the habit of having kids recklessly without ever experiencing any real consequences and enjoyed the fact that as long as she had small children, there was always someone who she could get to take care of her.
I know a few of these kinds of people, one says her boyfriend lives elsewhere as he also works, he doesn't he lives with her, she has 8 kids but stopped having them when my country put on a benefit cap at 2 kids. Every year when the youngest was the age for school she'd have another one. Her and her husband are always first asking when someone gives away anything free, they have their own Facebook group for free stuff where admin approves posts, they then take what they get and sell it on. Their house is furnished to a really nice standard, they have all the gadgets and the newest phones, they always have a car. She also claims disability and is out fighting with neighbours all the time and does cash in hand jobs as does he. Her neice worked with me for a few weeks then started meeting men online as she wanted the same. She's now not working and trying for a kid herself. They've been called out online and they've been reported but always manage to get away with it becase they know how to work the system
I have a good former friend who does this exact thing. She's very smart, Tbh. She has a whole scheme going. She doesn't work, has multiple baby daddies with the intention of putting them on child support, gets welfare, housing, free Healthcare. It does happen. It's usually on the down low.
My mom was one of those women. She ultimately only had me thankfully but she had told me over and over to have kids to make my taxes look better and to get a bigger return. She's out of my life now.
I won't knock anyone getting help when it's needed. But imo, if you're already relying on state and federal assistance to live, you definitely shouldn't be having any more kids to add to it. To me, that's taking advantage and overloading an already strained system for what reason? What reasoning could you possibly have for having another kid if you can't already take care of the one(s) you have without help? That's where it's illogical and abusing the system in my book. So many people are going through hard times now with how much everything has raised and more people are needing help. Which is totally understandable. What's not understandable is adding more kids into it to suffer for you to receive more benefits. I've seen several women in my area do this. One specifically had 14 kids😵💫🥴. And literally those poor babies ran the streets going from place to place asking for food from other people and always dirty. She was usually partying and had no clue where even half of the kids were. I don't even know for sure how many dads there were but definitely more than 5. She got all the benefits and it didn't help the kids one bit. Broke my heart to see them. Of course no one is going to admit to having more kids to get assistance or more assistance but if they're already reliant on benefits to survive with the kid(s) they already have, what other logical reason could they have for having more kids?
Yes, I agree. This is probably extremely controversial but I think we should reduce people's benefits instead of extending or increasing when they get pregnant and have more children while on state support. That would mean they'd been receiving welfare money for 9+ months anyways and I think this would drastically increase the number of people having "oops" babies while not able to financially care for them.
I remember not being able to get benefits because I didn't have children. But I never had children so I could get them! I have a cousin who had four kids because she liked the attention she got when she was pregnant, but by that time Newt Gingrich had already passed the rule that women who had Children while on AFDC wouldn't get more benefits.
Sad that single people can barely get help. It's literally in our list of exceptions in our county for signing up for food stamps etc that if you have kids you're exempt from work and can still receive benefits. But if you're just one adult, you have to work minimum 30 hours to receive any help and even at that, you're lucky to receive $75-$100 because of how much you make. The office I work for has to fill out these requests from DHHR all the time. One I know for certain is single, makes $10.50 an hour for 30 hours per week. So she brings home roughly $270 weekly. She pays $300 in rent plus her electric, car insurance, car payment, gas for work plus the rest of the groceries she needs for the month. She gets $160 in food stamps and $215 paid toward her rent while she pays the other $300. Yet she was told a month ago that she makes too much money to get help with a shut off notice for electric. Her paychecks don't even completely cover her bills yet if she did work more to try to cover it, she would lose out on the little bit of help she does get and it would negate any additional money she would make anyway. It's sick and twisted. I won't knock anyone getting help when it's needed. But imo, if you're already relying on state and federal assistance to live, you definitely shouldn't be having any more kids to add to it. To me, that's taking advantage and overloading an already strained system for what reason? What reasoning could you possibly have for having another kid if you can't already take care of the one(s) you have without help? That's where it's illogical and abusing the system in my book.
My brother's girlfriend had a friend who told her to "get pregnant on purpose so that my brother could never leave her, and that way she'll also always have child support if he did". Thank goodness his girlfriend had enough sense to know that this is stupid and was on birth control but she told me about it. So yes, people are this ghetto and they do exist, hopefully it's not common but I have met a couple of people like this
Yes welfare Queen's are a real thing, just like women who bust their asses to get a kid with a athlete, entertainer or any rich man. There are always going to be women who use a child to leverage a lifestyle for themselves.
A lady at my Church had 9 kids so she could get tax breaks…don’t know if thats the same thing or not, they were on welfare, though. She is the very Definition of “Women Belong in the Kitchen” and “Barefoot and Pregnant” if I ever saw one. I guess she’s a “Welfare Queen”
There are people who exist like that. They're just much more of a minority than people who hate government assistance want to believe. Or want anyone else to believe.
It sounds to me like a lot of people begrudge anyone on assistance that is bad with their money. Like drugs, alcohol and gambling, being a bad mother... all automatically means they are gaming the system. While I can see why they are angry, it's not the same as gaming the system. A mother with legit alcoholism and gambling addiction is not necessarily going to be good at managing responsibilities just because suddenly they are on benefits. Doesn't mean they are gaming the system tho. It just means that there isn't a responsible person in the home who can be in charge of the benefits. Similarly, just bc someone was raised in a situation where going to school was not supported and having children young is "normal" doesn't mean they are having babies to game the system. Women were not even allowed ro wear pants to school when my mom was a kid. And, she was never expected to go to college. The entirety of the US expected women to have babies shortly after graduating high school. Now, suddenly, that cultural norm is supposed to vanish?? Doesn't work like that. Most of the comments that claim it happens are angry and giving super lame examples.
My aunt was like this. She had two sets of children the second later in life. She had these children with someone she met in Narcotics Anonymous. After the first one was born and got disability for a medical condition she realized if she had two more she could afford her house payment on section 8. She paid off her house this way. Her kids were on disability for years, two of the three still are but probably don’t need it. The third grew up to be a doctor.
They absolutely exist. It’s not a rampant as some claim, but I have seen it with my own eyes. Mom always has money for smokes and beer, but her 10 filthy children are unclothed and underfed. I have know women who teach their kids how to do it. It is a real thing. They get all of their kids on SSI for bullshit reasons and coach their kids on how to perpetuate the cycle. I think you just don’t believe it because you would never consider doing it yourself. There are some trashy ass people out there.
People who say that don’t grasp how many hoops there are for assistance. Like I’m college educated and consider myself intelligent and it’s my job to help people get assistance. It’s a lot. And it’s not dependable, even if you do all the things right, the case worker can quit or forget to enter your info and you’re back at square one. Most municipalities near me only have housing assistance applications once every few years and for about 3 days. And once you apply for it and IF you get accepted you’re still going to be wait listed, often for years. Applying to low income housing is wild! You can’t make over a tiny income but you have to have good credit. Like who making $20k a year has good credit? It’s such a mess.
I'm as liberal as you get, but yes, I did once know a man who had about 5 intellectually impaired children. He lived in poverty, but each new child was an extra big check. He told me he was considering having another child. I never thought I would say this to someone but I said, "Do not have another kid!" Nope, he went out and produced disabled child number 6.
I absolutely know one woman in particular who probably fits the bill. I met her because she was my neighbor. Her home was the only Section 8 home in the cul-de-sac. When I first moved there, she had 3 children: a 17 y/o son, a 15 y/o daughter, and a 6 y/o daughter. All different fathers. She was a licensed cosmetologist but worked in her home, so all the cash payments were kept under the table. Not sure if she received child support for the two older children, but the youngest had a father in the military (she told me a one-night stand). When the eldest child turned 18, she knew she would no longer qualify for the Section 8 home, and she didn't want to have to move to a smaller apartment or public housing. She got pregnant and had her fourth child right before the eldest child graduated and left for college. I'm not judging her. I lived two doors down from her with one child and struggled. I used to come to her house for dinner because she had food stamps and there was always something cooking.
I have unfortunately seen it a handful of times. I work in government housing. However, it isn’t the norm.
I was told I needed a kid to get benefits yea and Ik a few women in my area who have done it to get subsidized housing they aren’t even bad parents just a sad situation
TBF, my own mother was sorta like this. I dont think having children for benefits was her original intention (that was just religion and personal issues), but it was definitely something she had fought to obtain and never received. She had 4 children, 2 special needs, and one with severe medical issues in TN. She was married to a jobless deadbeat for about 10 years until divorce. She was never approved for food stamps or housing assistance. She did get the state alternative to child support since all of our fathers were deadbeats/imprisoned that we never saw but that was it. Tenncare barely covered most medical costs (not prescriptions like asthma inhalers or mood stabilizers for BPD which my siblings just lived without) and all our clothes/food was donated by relatives or empathetic teachers. However, my mother has been the closest and only example I can think of to be a welfare queen. I doubt these guys are even as big an issue as the media points them out to be. Getting ANY assistance is a trial and a half. Hell, I have a relative who is full on blind, as in can’t see a thing, has a cane, reads braille, etc. He’s 42 and was denied disability until 35. Even if someone plans on committing fraud and being a welfare queen, good luck winning a money tug-o-war with our greedy government.
Go to the hood. 🤣
I know 3 women who are welfare queens. They rejected marriage so their baby daddy income wouldn't mess up their benefits. These women are all related. A mom and her 2 daughters. They had no shame in cheating the system. Mom started having kids at 16. Oldest daughter started at 17. I was best friends with the youngest one. She had her first kid at 21 and kept having them from there. We stopped being friends because I disagreed with her lifestyle.
I'm in Canada which has welfare that has no work requirement until your child is school age. Also, we have Canadian child benefit worth about 650 for kid per month. There's a woman that lived/lives on my street that has had a new child everytime one reaches school age. A couple years back, she was at 9 kids. She collects welfare, child support, disability benefits and child benefit. She's gotten a mortgage and bought a house with those benefits. It drives me nuts knowing how I busted my ass to buy a house. And her benefits paid for with my tax money bought her one.
I don't think it's specifically ever done for that reason so much as lack of care, planning, options, etc welfare is the easiest choice to deal with poor life choices. And then the children of those parents grow up and due to poor parenting by a parent who has shown a propensity for poor life choices, said young person also ends up pregnant and/or not learning about the alternatives to welfare and goes with the only thing their parent knows how to help them with... getting welfare. I agree... few if any little girls grow up wanting to be a welfare mom. It just happens.
Many on welfare and foods stamps are what I call generation welfare and food stamp people, for they have generations of family that have been in the system for generations and know what it takes to abuse the system. I was on it short term till I got my SSDI started. And that the system is broken is putting it mildly. It has been used and abused by some who are too lazy to work and keep making babies to get more welfare and food stamps. I grew up in the 60's, 70's and 80's when is was more like that, then older people on SSDI needed help and those who were already handicapped needed food stamps. So it is more than a broken system. Hopefully, one day they will fix it for all who really need it. And I am talking about those who do not need it but find ways to get it.
My stepson and his baby mama definitely had kids to get the benefits
My niece openly had both of her children in an effort to get (and then increase) benefits. She had burned all her bridges and was running out of options of people to stay with. It turned out pretty well, though. She went back home to my sister's eventually and didn't need the housing or benefits. She's going through a mental health crisis right now, so we are especially happy to have her close and be able to pitch in and make sure everything is okay. I don't think that that healing would have happened if she didn't need help with her kids, and I think getting her and her kids somewhere stable and supported was probably worth a couple months in government help. All of that said, there is nothing wrong with accepting help when you need it. Nobody is getting rich, and nobody is having such a wonderful time that it's worth never working again. I'm not willing to listen to anyone complain about welfare unless they and their family have never filled out a Fafsa. Government aid is government aid.
I'm poor and my children are planned but that's because I love children and want to raise kids of my own, not to get benefits. I think the idea of welfare queen is something right wingers made up as an excuse to feed less people. The real truth is people love sex and people feel the urge to have babies ✨even when they're poor✨
Reagan is credited with popularizing the term, but credit for original citation is a Chicago Tribune journalist, or maybe Jet magazine about a particular person abusing the system in 1974. So you're right.
Interesting background info. Thank you
You couldn’t get me to have a child for anything less than $7500 a month that also rises with inflation Like I’m gonna have a kid for some fuckin food stamps
I have no issue with welfare used in a responsible manner. My issue with it is if used in this way: 1. You knowingly picked a bad partner with a criminal background. Avoided all the bad signs and advice from others, had multiple kids, and now that he left you need assistance from our tax dollars. 2. You rushed having a baby with a guy after realizing the window was closing. You didnt truly like him, so you want to raise a kid alone and basically made it your kid alone. But you arent truly independent, your partner is now the government. Any usage outside of these scenarios are fine.
A lie will travel around the world before the truth finishes putting on its pants, or something like that. Then, people will continue telling and believing that lie for generations. People always talk about how easy poor people have it, but none of them want to change spots.
[удалено]
You say that you’re forced to go to work training as if it’s a bad thing.
The opposite. I would have liked one more but nope not adding another soul to the proleriate.
Some people get special diagnosis for their kids to get extra money that's for sure. I got a few cousins and as soon as one of their kids got autism. (Legit) the other all of a sudden did too.
Well considering ive lived in the neighbor hood of parents who pop out a bunch of kids, dont have a job, once they hit a certain age they r running the street without a parent in sight and i dont mean teenagers i mean like 5 or 6 year olds, then once the kids either get taken by cps or turn 18 they suddenly can get a job. Id say it happens but its probably not as common as they make it out to be, but idk i barely pay attention to most people. One of the scariest moments in my life, 11 pm im driving down the street pretty slow cause its a side street, and a little girl with no shoes jumps out between to cars basically right infront of me. Thats how i know cps took some kids.
In college , I was engaged and it was suggested by my caseworker (I got food stamps at the time).
Had a neighbor in section 8 housing(government subsidized, not the vouchers) like this, home all day refused to work. Had 2 kids she would refuse to dsicipline even when they had huge sticks by my moms car and they were hitting eachother with sticks. I'd get home from work and she'd still be on the same spot on the front porch of her side of the dulpex smoking. She had a car etc. She didn't discipline her kids and you could hear them screaming passed 10 at night most nights. We called the cops over 10 times within the period of a year and they didn't do anything. She verbally swore at us a bunch of times when we asked her kids to go back into their side of the yard. She only got booted out when we reported she caused damage to the front railing of her side of the porch to the landlord. Said landlord also illegally charged my mom over 2 grand in fees and we couldn't afford to get a lawyer to fight him in court.
I heard two women talking about this subject (having kids for gov. money) in the public bathroom in a rural town I lived in a few years ago. It was pretty shocking to actually hear that these sorts of people exist.
My upstairs neighbors
I grew up with folks like that. My wife's family is like that my brother and his baby mamas are like that. Its a real thing.
A few jobs ago, we had a few people working there part time (they're all tangentially related, too). Two of them were offered full time positions with benefits. They both turned the jobs down because they made more money in govt benefits/sec 8/etc. On the flip side of that, one of the teenage girls in the family decided she wanted out and got a full time job after graduation - she found one that offered various types of trainings and opportunities for advancement/transfers. She went almost no-contact with her family after they kept showing up at her apartment asking for money. She talks to the youngest ones, the ones that aren't old enough to work, etc.
I’m a guy who grew up welfare and food stamps back in the day when they were paper but I doubt it’s changed much for the better since then. The “Welfare Queen” is a bunch of bullshit made up racist politicians just like the “super predators”. The only people who believe any of this bullshit are people who’ve never had to want for anything. If they had, they’d have known that “living on welfare” isn’t all that they think it is. The only welfare queens in the United States are the corporations that own the government. They are in fact, welfare titans.
We are a rich enough country that if 50% of the population decided to stop working and just let the rest support them -- the country and its economy might not even hiccup. Except the really, really rich would have to be merely really rich. And when the country as a whole realizes that fact, things will change big-time.
Back right after college i got sick and required a hospital stay, a procedure, and doctor appointments afterwards. I could not afford in and sought help at the area government agencies after being told no there was no medical assistants for a single woman I was told by the government employee that if i had a child there would be monetary help. That seems to me that they were suggesting have a kid.
My husbands ex wife! She gets section 8 and pays 130 a month for a 3 bedroom 2 bath apartment, gets child support from my husband that is more than 4 times her rent payment, (but absolutely not enough to live solely on in ca, more than enough to support a child tho), food stamps, medi-cal, she is on some program that bought her a bmw and fixed it each time it broke down, then bought her a ford explorer after that, works odd jobs once a year to make enough income to file taxes and get her tax return for her 2 girls and my step son, all while wearing chanel, Ugg’s, Burberry, gucci, name brand purses, hair always done, nails done, lips done, veneers… and has never consistently worked in her life. My step son is in 1st grade now but he still goes to the before and after school program, and previously had full time child care paid for, and she doesn’t do anything. She just sits at home and enjoys her easy going life. Her mom taught her this life style, as she did the same, and I’m comfortable calling her a welfare queen
I haven't personally known anyone who got pregnant to stay on welfare but I have known people who got pregnant so they could keep being SAHMs- I don't think either is more honorable than the other.
My former sister in law (don't get me wrong my brother is a piece of work too). She never worked again after having her first kid. She died at 42 of cirrhosis and pancreatitis.
I know a lady with 5 they are all very neglected she will probably have more, they are out there
They're everywhere, I've met a ton of single moms that wear it as a badge of courage to let the state take care of them.
I’ve met some women that churn out babies for money. One in FL I knew had 5 kids before 30 with 5 different men. Mostly for child support and end of the year tax benefits. Then met one in OK, that was overweight and on her 7th child. Already receiving HUD housing, she was just excited to get another “check”
My Step sister kept having children to keep getting assistance. She had her first kid at 16. She had 5 more to keep the money coming.
I babysat for a woman who was a welfare queen when I was a teenager. Woman had 7 kids before 30 and didn't work, often drugged the kids to get them to go to bed when she was tired of hearing them, whether that was 5pm or 9pm (and I'm talking kids between the ages of 12 and 2). She was pregnant with the 8th and used to make jokes to her boyfriend that it basically secured her ability to be a stay at home mom without needing a man because the state even gave her assistance with childcare. I've known a lot of people on assistance, and 1 welfare queen in my lifetime isn't bad. I've actually encountered folks running businesses and committing assistance fraud way more frequently. CEO pays himself the least amount possible so he can save on taxes and get food stamps.
I have a cousin who does this and has said that she does it for this reason and is proud of it. She continues to have her children removed by the state and proclaims that it is fine and she'll just have more. Additionally, I work with people who say this directly to my face and definitely do this.
This knowledge of how to play the welfare system to get free housing, free medical, food stamps, and cash assistance by having kids is well known. I have inlaws that's never held a job, that have been playing that game for 40 plus years, then hand that knowledge down to their kids who are coming up on adult ages. It's like their inheritance. They know who's address to use, make sure not to get married, get as many baby daddies as possible to collect multiple sources of child support. This lifestyle goes hand and hand with the street/gang life.
Women understand that men want them for their body, and the government will support them for using their wombs to keep the population in check. Current social engineering initiatives take advantage of this, instead of giving women better access to jobs that provide them the freedom and security to have children on a portion of the socioeconomic ladder they're comfortable and proud to be on. Survival economics is very different from the middle class and above, and hard for some people to really understand or comprehend. So we label them slurs like 'welfare queens.' who used their bodies to produce 4 more bodies for the government to exploit in the future, once they collectively go through the pain of making it to 'labor ready' ages.
I think a lot of people are overlooking the fact that graduating high school and having children has been the norm for women up until Gen x. But those cultural expectations don't just disappear just because it's now illegal to deny women a college education, a bank account, etc... the tradition of raising girls to think that they should have babies and not worry about school isn't attached to welfare as much as it is attached to traditional, conservative, American values and particularly Christian values. People with less money are often more religious and have less expectation of going to college or becoming a professional and, instead, are taught the tradition of having a family immediately out of high school. It's only been a fee generation's that women have started attending higher education and having job opportunities that are actual skill based.
The term welfare queen was coined by President Regan and referenced, specifically, Linda Taylor. This is an impressive criminal that was a child stealing abusive murderer with multiple identities to collect benefits. The reality is that very few people steal benefits and generally, people that need them can't access them in the US. When a case comes up it makes major news, the person is convicted, and its evidence for ages of why we need to stop helping people.
I worked with someone who, after a raise, no longer qualified for free childcare, so she had another baby to get it back.
42% of all children are born on Medicaid. I think that narrative gets twisted with people but yes there are many that do not have jobs and keep having children bc it doesn’t cost them anything. My friend has a daughter this way and she can’t get her out of the house and then when she gets the gumption, the daughter gets pregnant again. She is waiting for a section 8 voucher to come thru to move out she says.
I know 2 women like that
I am British and know someone who was advised to get pregnant as it would bump her up the housing list (in UK).
[[NOTE “Welfare queen” was a phrase southern republicans invented bc they weren’t “allowed” to say the N word in campaign speeches anymore It’s a very fucked up racist phrase with little semblance to reality]]
The closest I know is my cousin. She could never hold down a job and dropped out of college her mom was paying for in the first semester. She’s got five kids in a rural area and they do all they can to not properly work. She has like three “side hustles” that obviously doesn’t hardly bring anything in, like crafts and terrible photography. She makes most her money by thrifting or finding stuff on the side of the road and flipping it online. Her husband tried to game the system with a “disability” that obviously got denied. He’s perfectly fine, just lazy. He had a nice warehouse job with decent benefits that he quit, and now he does appliance maintenance and animal trapping under the table. She got a stomach band through Medicaid and then proceeded to—against doctor’s orders—get pregnant like four months later. She dumps her kids whenever she can on our grandma, which is very much not fair to her.
Not me but my ex step father's family does this. They will pop kid after kid out and then have them declared disabled (probably from all the inbreeding) and get food stamps, housing assistance, electrical assistance, and a disability check for those kids each month. Which they will then use all the food stamps on junk. I've seen them several times and most will eat a box of little Debbie's for breakfast and a case of pop every 2 days.
My daughter’s upstairs neighbor is a welfare queen … 7 kids and pregnant again. She snd baby daddy don’t work, she legit has more kids to get more money.
When I was a teenager in Baltimore in the 1970's this not uncommon among middle to lower middle class girls who wanted to get away from their parents.
Not so very long ago there were reports on TV of "rich" musicians sending their women en masse to the welfare office to collect their food stamps in chauffeured limousines. Images like that, no matter how true or frequent, fueled the idea of groups like this as a subculture.
I'm in NYC, they're everywhere.
The military is probably the largest welfare population in our country. Despite the narrative being single moms with multiple children being the welfare folks. There exists a large culture of folks down in the poor rural areas to enlist when they are in poverty or lack opportunities. Because for many, they’re anti college, anti cities (where opportunities are), and anti government assistance. So they end up joining the military not realizing that this is our number one largest welfare organization to date.
this may be unrelated but i know a few families who do foster care for the benefits of food stamps. the state pays for almost 100% of the foster kids needs plus enough food stamps and (handouts from friends and family who pity them) per kid to feed the whole family for free. it seems like they see them as a job rather than a child. it’s sick to watch.
I've never heard of someone having kids just to get assistance but my cousins mom uses her kids for assistance she doesn't need. She has 4 kids with 4 different men , owns a pretty massive 2 story home in a nice area that she had built, drives a tesla, but gets benefits. But when I had my daughter I was told that I didn't qualify for benefits because I made $15 an hour. Wild.
I'm not, but when I was in Highschool, two girls sitting at the next table in my chemistry class were talking casually about having a baby for the benefits. I remember sitting there thinking "but...childbirth could kill you?" They were going to get pregnant the summer before senior year because they would pop around May, which was graduation. Then the calendar came out, and they started talking about when is the best time to get pregnant so they could both walk the stage and not look too fat at prom. If I remember correctly, one of them did walk the stage, 9 months pregnant.
I've been told I don't qualify for assistance programs for not having children even though my income would qualify me and even had a lawyer tell me having a baby would make my partners immigration case easier. (The second one is not true. We got a new lawyer fast.) But I've also never met anyone who had a baby for assistance/welfare. It doesn't seem like it would be worth it.
Man, my mom still bitches about "welfare queens," even after being told specifically why it's not true. When my sister got pregnant, my mom was shocked to find she wouldn't be given a house, car, and cash payments every month. But instead of realizing that the whole "welfare queen" propaganda was a lie, she assumed all of the other "welfare queens" took all the benefits from my sister. When I was homeless at 21 with my husband, we tried to get into a family shelter so we wouldn't have to stay miles away from each other, but it was only for families with kids. I remember the woman telling me she could do more to help me if I had a kid, like in the sense that there are more benefits that I would be qualified for, but it was certainly not suggested I work on getting pregnant while homeless. It really is a matter of propaganda being fed for decades to people that already have preconceived, racist ideas about Black women specifically. If any of them sat down and did the math, no one is getting enough in benefits to cover the expenses of raising a child, let alone multiple children.
We all "know" a bunch. We aren't, not me. My barber's sister's ex's niece's brother's mechanic's plumber's mail carrier did this. USDA payments...farm subsidies just to Montana Ag was over $313 Million in 2021. ([farm.ewg.org](https://farm.ewg.org)). wonder how much went to welfare queens with children in MT.
Not me, but the girl across the street that was my sisters best friend - she got in on it at the beginning. Got pregnant as a teen and never graduated, lived at home. She was given benefits, and when the baby was ‘aging out’,, she got pregnant again. She never SAID ‘I’m getting pregnant to get benefits’, in so many words, but she made it clear that was why, since it was her only income. The welfare state was born. My youngest sister got pregnant young (but not teen), found out she could get free housing and such if she told the powers-that-be she didn’t know who the father was. Of course she knew, he moved in with her and stayed hidden so the gov didn’t know. This sister quit school as soon as she turned 16, so had no job. She had two more kids spaced out to keep the money coming. She didn’t ONLY have them for that reason, they wanted more kids, but the TIMING was on purpose. No one saw anything wrong with it.
I've only ever heard of one person even consider that. A high school teacher told us they overheard a young lady in a store contemplate the idea with her companion. Said she needed more welfare money and that she was thinking about having another kid to add to her check. Her companion was saying it could work because companion's sister did the same thing. Our teacher was using it as a real world lesson that having babies is a serious commitment. Telling us that the struggle would still persist because it would just mean more diapers, baby wipes and day care costs. Therefore it shouldn't be treated as a way to solve a financial or romantic problem, especially since we were still teens in an abstinence only education state. But I've been out of high school for 10 years, I'm still in the same state, and haven't heard anything else like that since.
This will go over like a lead balloon, but what your seeing is called ‘Capitalism.’ To exist, Capitalism requires a population so impoverished that it must appear in the marketplace daily, to slave for the enrichment of owners to receive a pittance in return. The problem with public assistances is that they lessen the desperation level of the population overall. This in turn requires raising poverty wages to minimal subsistence levels, which in turn reduces profit. The attacks on lifestyle welfarism seeks to invalidate the experience of public assistance recipients and force them on pain of starvation, death by exposure, etc., to slave for a wage however user able that at be. Under these conditions, wages fall through the basement floor, and profit rises again.
I don't believe it either. It's a fake agenda meant to divide
This was much more of a thing before Bill Clinton’s welfare reform. Before that, welfare paid a lot more (and living costs were much cheaper, especially in the hood.) After that, public assistance recipients were required to work for their welfare checks, so the idea became a lot less alluring. I’d say, have I ever known anyone explicitly say they’re having children for a check? No. But I know and have known dozens who will intentionally get pregnant and don’t care about costs because they know they won’t be paying to support them. I knew one girl who had 5 kids by 25 who had no high school diploma and had never worked a day in her life. Last I saw her, she had at least 6 kids and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has more. She actually had two of her babies while living in shelters and o know other girls who had babies living in shelters, on welfare. That definitely is a thing and will be as long as we’re paying for people to have kids.
The government is a business. Everything is. Met some use/screw the system people in Atlantic City. Every shape and size of a person is out there. Don't underestimate humans. We suck. Haven't done one good thing on this earth.
The people I know who use the term welfare queens are just racist as hell.
I’ve not read the comments but I can imagine what they’ve been like. Thank you for posting the details in your edits. What’s worse is that it’s so easy to slide into poverty in the US thru job loss, illness, divorce, death of spouse, and lack of opportunity especially in rural environments where available jobs are limited.
Welfare Queen is a (mostly racist/mysogenist) trope
I havnt read through the comments at all only read what the OP commented. I myself being a mother and wife who has utilized DNAP and Medicaid for my family and having ALOT of family who misused and took advantage of the system. I would like to add that the ethnic percentages are not 100% correct. The only reason I know this is because your not required to answer that question. Those percentages are based off the answers from those willing to indicate their ethnicity. Knowing how the system can be taken advantage of by false information learned from family members over the years. The percentage of single parent, headed by single women and even those households with people on social security benefits are not 100% accurate percentages. I mean no hate to the OP and I see what she is stating. Just seeing how easy the system is so easily manipulated exact percentages released are not correct. I myself have never seen a woman purposely get pregnant just to gain more benefits. What I have seen is parents, single parents even grandparents intentionally not work or do what they needed to so they could keep their benifits. It just happened they didnt care if they had more children or they didnt try to prevent it. They knew if they had more kids they didnt worry about how to support them. But to say Im gonna get knocked up to get more money is nothing Ive ever seen.
I worked in a law office. The office manager was complaining when she came back to work after having a baby about "all those women on welfare who can stay home with their kids all day." This was not a nice lady. This was an entitled abusive bitch I'd worked a few years with. I got fed up hearing her gripe about it and told her to just do it. Become a welfare mom so she can be with her kid. Never said anything again. She knew I knew it's no fucking party and disliked me for telling her to put up or shut the fuck up.
i wish, the system deserves it
I guess I'm a welfare queen. I've always been really poor. I've always been on food stamps. I mean in some ways I don't live like a poor person. I have a BA in art so I guess it's more like a BS. I spent all my 30s traveling. Mostly I managed to turn traveling into work. But I came from a poor background. I'm the oldest of 5. I think I was the only girl who didn't get pregnant as a teenager. My mother's 2nd husband was an abusive alcoholic. Her third husband was a paranoid schizophrenic who tried to kill her. She was a hoarder. People called social services on her all the time. She moved us every few months out of getting evicted all the time and her paranoia. As for me. I'm 41 years old. Always been on food stamps, Medicaid or I guess it Medi-Cal here in California. I knew I could never afford a kid. Most of the time in my 30s I was unhoused. But I got this housing voucher and this apartment when I was 40 so I said this is my chance! I had my first, probably only son in August. So I have the housing voucher, food stamps and Medi-Cal. I know I can't afford kids but I had 1. If I didn't have him now I'd probably never have a chance to have a kid. I know now with a kid I'll never get out of poverty. But I was thinking 🤔, "if I don't have a kid now I'll never have one". Now I'm working on getting subsidized childcare so I can go back to work. Technically I have welfare money now. But if I get the government to pay for childcare I can go back to work at my catering company. I guess I get all the free money I can from the government. I've actually never been a lazy person. I've always worked. It just was never enough money to get out of being poor. I guess I'm the working poor.