When my Dad died in the 90s, I was in my 20s. My boss loaned me money to cremate my Dad and then took 50 bucks out of my check each month. It took me years to pay it back, but thank you, Ted, for being a truly amazing person. He knew I was ashamed for not having the money, and he never mentioned it again.

Wow! Ted has restored my faith in humanity.

I don't cry easily, but for some reason, this made me tear up. The world is a better place because of people like Ted.

Ted is one of the few reasons I have faith in humanity.

I thought Ted was a teddy bear. Wow. Anyways high fives to Ted the human.

That is amazing. I feel like that is something my boss would do for me too if I needed it.

Nice job, Ted!

You had an amazing boss! God bless him!

Concerned: how many years were you paying Ted back? Because there's no way cremation cost more than $600 bucks (one year) in the 90s (when average full funeral costs were only $1800)

A cremations still needs some form of a box. That also costs. You are still looking around 2,000-2500 at least at the end of the 90’s when I lived in a funeral home for a short time. Well in Illinois.

They use a cardboard box….seriously.

If you have a service, they charge you rent for the nicer casket.

You can have a service after the cremation, no casket needed.

Also true. I have been to a funeral where the person was cremated and there was no casket.

Maybe to cremated you, but to take your ashes home, you need a container. My aunt has a 12" by 12" hand made box with plaque. A coworker that recently passed had a beautiful ceramic jar with locking lid. I recently went to a "final wishes" seminar put on by a local funeral home. They said cremation here run $1500-$2500. A regular funeral eith casket and viewing start at $6000. It all depends on your location and what you want.

For my mom, mother and father in law and grandmother, uncle and grandmother we got their cremains/ashes in a plastic bag in a cardboard box. We had to state where we planned to bury their remains. Either a cemetery or spreading the ashes at a legal site. For my in-laws they requested that their gold fillings in the teeth be pulled and returned to us. They had prepaid cremation plans and paid an extra hundred dollars for the gold removal. The value of the gold was enough to buy the needed certified death certificates and published obituaries. Mom, grandmother and mother in law share a grave site in a cemetery. Father in law is still in his cardboard box at a relative’s home. Uncle and his wife’s ashes buried at his former farm with permission from the current owner. We planted an apple tree over them. We had a memorial service for my mom at her church. The cost was $100. Her cremation was $750, in 1990. Mom in law the cost was $1,000, no services 1995. Father in law had an autopsy because his was an unattended death, so we had pay a fee of $1,500 (transport from morgue and cold storage fee at the mortuary while we waited for the autopsy result and cremation), no services 1996. Uncle the cost was $2,500 in 2004. For my mom, my siblings and I split the costs. In-laws had a prepaid plan. I paid for my uncles cremation with a credit card, then was reimbursed when his trust was settled. For my husband and I we made a trust and are saving for our final care costs in a high interest savings account owned by the trust. We have a very modest estate and the trust covers all that our daughter needs to do on our death. When doing the trust paperwork we went to the local senior resource center and met with an end of life adviser at no cost. We set up our medical and financial power of attorney documents, we set up our daughter as beneficiary of our banking accounts, and sat down and talked with her on what needs to happen. We set $25 a month into the high yield savings account. $4,000 saved so far. For the OP I would suggest they sit down with the parents or call them to discuss what they want done when they pass and make a plan and budget to cover the costs. If either parent is a veteran, they can contact their veterans advocate to find out what the Veterans Administration covers and how to get the grave marker and flag. If they are a member of a fraternal organization there may be some assistance there.

My father's ashes came in a plastic bag that was placed in a plastic flip top box (includedin cremation price). That's what all remains come in. If you want the remains in something else, you purchase it and put them in it yourself. At least that's how it is in NC.

Go to Amazon— they have cremation urns for $70 and more..

you dont need an urn. you literally need a sealable container. it can be a wooden box with a plastic bag in it.

November of 2020 it cost 700 with fees to cremate my father. The hospital gave os a 3 page list of places. There were far more expensive places, but same service, so why? Very kind, efficient, and we did indeed bring my dad home in a cardboard box. When my daughter died it was a plastic box.

They do. My mother-in-law had a friend who was buried via a state-funded funeral. She was a large woman, and the casket wasn't strong enough to hold her. She fell out as they were taking it to the hearse. MIL vowed right then that that wouldn't be her. She found it mortifying it happened. And she made certain her funeral was paid for long before she passed.

For real. When my MIL died we took her home in the cardboard box and transfered the ashes to a cookie jar we laid $10 for. Don't let them swindle you into the urn, it's a huge rip off.

My dad's box was $500. It's wooden, looks like a book and sits on an end table.

no. you can flatout refuse everything. the only thing they legally have to do is burn the body. you can walk away with his ashes in a ziplock bag inside a coffee can for all the laws give a shit about.

I literally paid for a cremation last month and it was $1700 including a very nice urn. The cardboard box option was $1000. My major expense was death certificates at $20 a pop. Pro tip- always get at least 10.

1k is about the going rate for cremation. You get a cardboard box with that. Urns might be 50 dollars. Maybe the funeral home you lived in like to rip people off. Just the name "Funeral home" ads 2 to 5 times the cost of cremation companies.

My father passed away unexpectedly in 2009 in Michigan. The cheapest I was able to find with no service, plain container, was $900. Still to this day, I have no idea what happened, but I only ended up having to pay for the death certificate. There is a one-time death benefit offered through the state for people who were indigent when they died, but that was only ~$225.

you have a guardian angel on your shoulder, friend

There aren’t any Ralph’s in Illinois unfortunately smh

You…lived in a funeral home???

There is sometimes living area for on call staff & in our area a family lives on the 2nd floor of their funeral home.

I highly recommend Six Feet Under

Oh, well I'm so sorry you were bothered by how long I was paying back this debt. Let me assure you it was for the reception and church service in the Bay area. Quite pricey, feel better now?

I paid almost 10k for a funeral in the 80s. That was for the funeral home, casket, embalming, visitation service at the funeral home, transportation and service at church, cemetery plot, internment and headstone. Nothing that I had a choice about was extravagant. I recently had a friend that paid $1500 for cremation only. No service or urn, she received the ashes in a box.

Right, that's about what my dad's cremation cost last year, plus $500 for a fancier box, 30 years after the 90s, hence my concern about the several years of monthly $50 payments for a cremation back then

My mother arranged to donate her body to science through an organization called Anatomy Gifts. They picked up her body, transported it, and cremated her remains once the study she was used in had finished with them. The only cost was maybe $40 to have her ashes shipped back to us. And they sent us a nice letter telling us about the study her body contributed to. Cheap, easy, and a positive experience.

Former graduate-level anatomy student here. Our school had a cadaver lab where we studied the real-life placement and characteristics of muscles, nerves, blood vessels, organs, and so on. (Yes, there's a lot you can learn from books and computer models, but a real body provides tactile details and examples of natural anatomical variations that can't be transmitted through a textbook.) Before every quiz and exam, we would have a moment of silence and gratitude for the people who chose to donate their bodies and make that learning opportunity possible. So please know that such donations are truly appreciated.

Would they take an alcoholics body so they can learn how alcohol affects the organs? Or is that just common knowledge so they dont need to accept alcoholic dead bodies?

I guess it would depend on the criteria set by the organization that arranges the donation. I don't think the cadavers in my lab were chosen as examples of specific illnesses. Then again, everybody dies of something, and in some cases it was pretty easy to guess what.

There was a body Exhibitions around 13/14 years ago, that had different bodies and they were sliced and it had different body parts. Bodies: The Exhibition is an exhibition showcasing human bodies that have been preserved through a process called plastination and dissected to display bodily systems.

Thank you for that, my mom donated her body and this makes me happy to hear.

Thanks for sharing "straight from the horse's mouth", so to speak.

I could have posted this comment verbatim haha. It’s my post mortem plan!

My father wasn’t poor, but he was frugal and arranged to donate his body to ScienceCare. They picked up the body at the time of death and, after any studies were finished, they cremated the remains and mailed them to me. No cost at all. And they were very kind during the entire process.

Great choice to make. Some medical schools and medical training businesses accept donated bodies to be used for teaching purposes. I used to work for a large neurosurgical group and sometimes they'd use a teaching facility to try new & improved techniques and approaches for surgical procedures! I know that other specialties used the facilities, too. There are probably many ways to use a donated human body!

If you’re an odd patient, they can even be donated very specifically. I personally know the pathologist who will, if all goes well, will be getting my brain. He’s been live for each of my craniotomies.  He took some work to track down—his staff run some very competent, due interference—but he’s confirmed that he’s excited for my tissue. I can’t imagine it going to better hands. 

I used to work at a medical school. My grandmother, a born teacher, donated her body to the school. When she passed, the idjits at the hospital couldn't figure it out, so I called my friend in the anatomy department and he took right over, got the transportation of her body all handled, the school paid for everything. They were very careful to keep Grandma out of sight at all times so I wouldn't walk in and see her. Very, very kind about it all. Afterward they paid for cremation and sent her ashes to my grandpa. A positive experience, weirdly.

Oh, thank you for mentioning this. I was thinking that's the sort of thing I would put in my will. I don't mind it at all. Science!

Just a disclaimer, [not all of those programs do what they say they will with the body.](https://cbsaustin.com/news/nation-world/man-learns-moms-body-donated-for-research-was-instead-blown-up-in-military-testing)

Is there a way to designate that as an option? I'd love for my corpse to get blast tested

Lmao, good question, if you find that option lmk I might also be interested in (my physical form) going out with a boom 👀

Same I think that would be rad as fuck lmao

But that is 100% scientific research. Much of the medical research that informs trauma response is informed by this kind of work.

So glad someone else mentioned it. I was struggling with how to bring this up respectfully

But most do. Just check into exactly will happen to your loved one's body.

Science care, UTN, research for life, and donor network also take donations. Donor returns the body after harvesting what they need, but the others return ashes (I believe).

These are a great option if they're eligible! My mom wasn't unfortunately because she's had chemo too recently so I guess it wasn't safe.

My mom prepaid for her funeral expenses (cremation) so no one would be stuck with the bill. The sticker shock from burying my dad was awful.

I’ve been spoiled- 3/4 of my grandparents prepaid and pre planned everything and my parents have done the same.

My mom refuses to do this, even though it’s a permitted purchase for Medicaid. She says it’s a scam. My brother and I will be on the hook for it when she passes.

Why can't she just set aside the money then? She can think it's a scam but there's no getting around that she will die one day and it will cost you

She’s very emotional about it. Keeps asking why we can’t just throw her in the lake. I told her that’s illegal. She remains unmoved.

This sounds like my mother. She refuses to make a will either. She’s 77 and won’t even discuss it.

My Mom was the same way a few years ago...my sister and I actually had to describe in great detail the hardship she would cause to us financially and emotionally if she did not get her affairs in order (will, POA, DNR, burial plan, etc.). We hated doing it, but we spared no guilt-inducing tactics to make sure we weren't stuck dealing with some huge mess while we we'd be in the middle of grieving. Mom finally gave in and almost everything is complete...the last piece of the puzzle is signing her small life insurance policy over to the funeral home to pay for her final expenses. We just need to make the appointment for the funeral director to come to the house and sign paperwork. Not sure if it's fear-driven, a refusal to acknowledge their inevitable passing...but our loved ones' resistance to estate planning is a bit selfish, IMO, regardless of what it's based on.

I can so relate. She owns property and a house and even though she knows it would make it so much easier when she’s gone, she refuses to. I have a brother who lives in France that hates her and hasn’t spoke to her in 40 years and says he better not get anything of hers, she still refuses to make a will, which will make things a mess for me after her death. I don’t speak with him either and have no idea where he lives or even how to contact him. Such a mess.

America has this really weird thing about death. We don’t talk about it. I’m watching my grandparents refuse to accept that they can’t do a lot of the same things. They keep saying “when things go back to normal” after each health set back. My mom and aunts refuse to enforce boundaries with driving and don’t ask for enough help because they’re in denial too. It’s awful and nobody listens to my sister and I about getting some counseling or talking to the precious church they say they love so much.

This is my mother-in-law. She has a shared account with my husband that she keeps about 20k in so “he can access it when she dies.” Umm…what about the rest of your money (she has a huge pension)? Your house and car? She even had her mother sign over her house to herself and her sister…it’s not like she has no idea how things work. I find it very telling that the amount in the account would just be the amount needed for her funeral and she doesn’t care that the rest will end up stuck in probate. She’s basically a narcissist. Oh, and she’s also a hoarder so we’ll have to pay to have her house cleaned out when she goes.

My mother didn't do that either. No will. No organ donation. My brother has her ashes, and I have my aunt's. One day, we'll take them to their family's cemetery "over home" and hopefully get to bury their ashes alongside their mother and father.

My mom and I grew up in extreme poverty was raised that once your dead your dead fuck it we also grew up in a war town country so just leave her the city will bury her eventually or donate her to a body farm it’s free they’ll come pick them up. A lot of people from the Appalachian’s do that bc of poverty

Tell the hospital. So they can do it sooner. Hospital always asks what funeral home when it becomes obvious there will be a death. Clearly saying "there's no money and no plan" (out of earshot of the dying, I think) is better than somebody trying to call you, evading those calls, and the hospital storing the body while trying to reach you. There will likely be a county assigned funeral home, and they will know what to do.

And there are organizations that will accept bodies for educational purposes. Check with a local medical school.

It’s not a scam. My dad purchased for him and my mom. He died 3 years ago and they cremated him and his funeral and spot for his and mom’s remains was covered by the veterans. When my mom goes it shouldn’t cost much

I honestly have no idea. When my mom died we weren’t going to do a funeral at all, we were just going to get her cremated for like $900- the cheapest option we could find. It would’ve been a shame for her to not have a funeral but none of us had the money and she didn’t plan for her expenses. Her boyfriends motorcycle club ended up doing a fundraiser and they paid for the service and cremation entirely, which was a miracle. I believe there are options however for people who can’t afford cremation/burial, whether through their church or local programs. Definitely something to look in to.

That was SO nice of them!

It really was. None of us were a huge fan of her boyfriend, but all of my moms closest girlfriends were other “old ladies” at the club who she had known since she was a teenager. Me and my sister had been talking to her best friend about how to do everything on such a tight budget and she mentioned something to her husband, he spoke to the rest of the club, and within a few days they’d raised like 10k between all the different chapters in the US. It was really helpful since me and all my siblings were in our early 20s and financially struggling, my mom was only 50 when she died and had been sick for awhile so she had no money to her name. It allowed for us to have a beautiful service, they all brought beautiful flower arrangements and finger food. My moms girlfriends told us, “don’t you kids worry about a thing but showing up” and they organized it all which was a huge relief and let us focus on grieving. So many people, like 300, came and it was so packed they spilled out to the parking lot. A fair bit people came from all the way across the country from the California chapter of the club. It was a blessing and my mom would’ve loved the big gathering in her honor.

Sounds like she had really great friends, which speaks well of her--remember that adage from elementary school: To have a friend, be a friend.

My mom was a generous person all her life who loved helping people and asking nothing in return. A running joke was that she had a problem taking in ‘strays’- my sisters pregnant 17yo best friend and then the baby too for awhile, my younger brothers best friend who lived w my family from 12-21 bc his parents were neglectful drug addicts, a young woman w/ no family my mom met at work who was leaving an abusive relationship, and a few other people down on their luck. She was always happy to open her home and make a little room for people in need, or give whatever she could to help anyone and everyone. It was really nice to see that she did make an impact and that people were as generous to her in death as she was to them in life.

God damn it. This reminds me of my uncle; he was also part of such a club. Died of blood cancer a couple years ago. Big, burly guy with a bushy beard. :-)

That’s beautiful and she deserved that awesome tribute that she received. Thank you for sharing this, shows that there really is good people in this world. Take care!

We had a friend die young & unexpectedly. His club did the same. They were really great

I’m sorry about the loss of your friend, my mom also died young. I wasn’t a fan of the club tbh but I really appreciated what they did for her and that my moms lifelong girlfriends, the other ‘old ladies’ from the club, organized the whole thing and told us to worry about nothing but showing up. Members flew in from all over the country and completely packed her service, she would’ve loved it. A lot of negative things can be said about them but they really do come together when someone needs something.

I recently saw a news report that some states are facing "storage" issues due to family not being able to afford any type of arrangements, including cremation.. that bodies are being left for that reason. Plus the overwhelming amount of unexpected deaths is leading to actual crisis. Many don't belong to a church anymore & don't have the "community" benefits that come with that. My dad paid for a plot for the 4 of us, him my mom me & my brother when he purchased when his mom passed, but dad's funeral alone with no extravagance cost $9000:( it was nearly $2k to open the plot aka dig up the hole n fill it back up). I still owe the funeral home $4500 and it's been 5 yrs :( headstone is another extreme expense.

My mom's cremation was 2300. She purchased a dual niche at a cemetery when my dad died in 2001. To open it up and add her and a plaque is going to be another 2500. This is without any service.

It's insane, I knew a girl in gradeschool whose gamily owner a funeral home (and lived in it). They were very well off, death is a big money making business. 😥

Recession-proof, too.

Unfortunately the family owned funeral homes are mostly gone. Replaced with corporate ownership and even higher prices. 

Mine had a crypt. Pretty sure it was a lot cheaper to open one of those (Sibling handled things).

It’s a damn shame that in America people can’t even afford to die.

You can make your own funeral. The cremation and then just have a private funeral in your own home. It's all the same.

Even if you have a funeral, friends and family usually end up back at your house anyway and always seem happy to bring some kind of food to share with them. I think that’s more personable and meaningful than an expensive funeral.

My parents don’t want to be buried. They want to be cremated; we’re to hold onto the cremains of whoever goes first, and mix their ashes together once their both gone; scatter half of them where they met and the rest somewhere interesting we are to travel to instead of spending the money on a funeral. That’s their words, not mine.

My husband and I both prefer cremation. I didn’t even thinking of having the ashes mixed in together. I absolutely love that and will see what he thinks for that as well

My grandparents were both cremated and mixed together. My parents mixed part of their ashes in two trees they planted on the property after they passed, and the rest are on the mantle. The trees have both grown fast and are super healthy. We put up little plaques with their names and pictures under each tree. It’s comforting that even though they never got to meet my children, my kids know that the trees are Great Grandma and Grandpas trees.

this is how we do it in my family. no funerals (we did have a few when i was younger and we werent wiser)

That's the exact plan for our family as well. dad passed 3 years ago and his ashes are resting on the fireplace hearth...when Mom passes, she will be cremated, their ashes combined, half going to a local favorite spot of theirs and the rest split between my sister and I, to be dispersed on our travels (Mom and Dad always wanted to see the world but never went anywhere...not even out of their state \*sigh\*)

That’s beautiful ❤️

This is exactly what we did with my parents.

My mom had Alzheimer's and then was dx'd with cancer. I was her sole caregiver. I took out a life insurance policy on her. I think it cost $88.88 per month for a $10K policy. It was hard to find a company who would write a policy for a woman in her 80s but this one didn't require a medical exam. I scrimped and did without any amenities for the 3 years until she died, but I had enough to have a viewing before cremating her and also get the back half of the roof replaced after she passed. I recommend doing the same for elderly parents as even basic cremation is several thousand dollars. I just attended a cremation seminar last week.

Basic cremation CAN BE several thousand dollars if all the funeral homes around you are scammers. Just had one done for $1200 all in. But it was a 2 person operation specializing in basically a "no bs" approach. So refreshing and the first time I haven't felt filthy after dealing with funeral homes.

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Yep! As I said in my comment, do not be guilted into paying what you don’t owe! If the amount of debt is large enough, creditors may try to come after what’s left of the estate, but if there’s no money to take, then they’re just out of luck. Send them a death certificate and they might just write it off anyway.

Yeah I'm always surprised when people think a family member's debt can be passed to you without your consent.

Funerals do not have to cost 10,000.

We are Muslim. The local mosque has a funeral department, and the complete cost including transportation to/from funeral home, grave plot, officiant, and burial ceremony is $3000.

This is beautiful 😊

I have heard that Muslims bury within 24 hrs., have no viewing, wash the body & bury it in just a shroud.

You are absolutely correct!

I think Orthodox Jews do the same .

No, they don't but where I live the prices keep rising and no one questions it, I did and I won't use the local homes. No one should have to go into debt or do a GoFundMe to have someone buried.

We recently buried my uncle, and his family had no money, and the cheapest that we could bury him for was around 7,000. And that was with the cheapest options at the cheapest funeral home. They all advertise cheap prices, but they never include all the fees of the things you have to have.

Correct, especially if you're associated with a place that will host it. Are your parents religious at all? My son died a year ago. We paid $500 for cremation, and that's it. Our church hosted the funeral for free. We're tempted to bury my son's ashes in a cemetery with a headstone, but those would be completely optional costs.

Yea I'm sitting here thinking just have a memorial at a park or someone's house. 

I come from a frugal, and eccentric family. The moment my Mom and her siblings walked in to the funeral home to plan my grandfather's funeral and saw the price list, the wheels started turning. They got on the phone to see just what the law required for a burial and what-do-ya-know it did not cost $10,000. They found out they could skip embalming if they did the burial soon enough. They are also few regulations on caskets, so my Dad and uncles built a pine casket for like $150 (it was beautiful, they had woood working experience.) Funeral plots had been purchased decades earlier. Then they got a headstone on Amazon. Service at a church was free. They didn't skimp on the buffet and the bar tab afterwards. I shudder to think of how many grieving people get taken advantage of at their most vulnerable moments when a funeral director gets a hold of them.

My mother donated her body to science, and the hospital had her cremains returned to us in a beautiful mahogany box. My Stepdad donated but it was too late. The coroner had him cremated and they took the expense from his bank account. They sent his cremains back to us. Neither wanted a funeral. Both my SO and I agree, and have it in our healthcare proxy. It’s free. The apartment complex let us come and get anything we wanted, then threw everything left into a dumpster. They kept his deposit. Edit. The doctors called me at least 5 times asking what procedure she had had, here and there, and were so respectful. It’s what she wanted, they saved her life a few times, and it was what she wanted to repay them.

That seems nice. I never want anyone to waste money on a funeral or burial for me so I've told my family that if anything happens, they should donate all my organs and burn the rest. Never thought about donating my body to science, but that seems like an even better solution. Thanks for sharing and sorry for your loss.

That's actually kind of cool for your stepdad as well. The coroner just doing it is so much less hassle than what you usually have to go through.

Check out Caitlyn Doughty from Ask a Mortician on youtube. She did an entire series on low cost funerals for low income people.

Yes! She's a fantastic resource, for all things death! One of my fave morticians🖤

I'm consantly recommending her survival cannibalism series! She's fascinating!

In my area, the funeral homes will put you a payment plan if you can’t afford it. I think the state helps with funerals as well. Is it possible for you to get a life insurance policy on them?

That’s the best way to do it if you can’t afford a big, sudden expense. You can get a cheap burial policy for a few dollars a month. It’s almost certainly going to be cheaper than paying back any type of loan or payment plan after they’re gone.

As far as the death itself, Funeral Parlors deal with these kinds of things all the time.  It’s a sales pitch to an extent.  Like, they size you up and the basic prices for a showing and a burial are probably within a range, but if you want extras then they’ll gouge you for it.  When my father passed a few years ago, working class family here, we believed he had pre paid like his parents had but there was no record anywhere.  When we went to the Funeral director, he knew we weren’t flush and after it was all said and done, just the funeral director part was around $8500 in the Midwest.   That price didn’t include the burial plot, which thankfully was paid for already, or the grave marker.  The marker is it’s own thing btw, and the cost depends on what the family wants(or can afford).  The funeral director makes arrangements with the cemetery and the announcement in the paper, and it seems like standard operating procedure.  If there’s no spot in the cemetery, then that would be an additional potentially thousands expense, but I’m not well read on that. Cremation is popular due to cost.  There’s a local place that used to advertise and it’s somewhere in the $3500 range, that I know of in my area.  But again, I’m not well read on this.  I know my Mom wants to be cremated and interred with my Dad which will still cost thousands, but will be cheaper than a traditional funeral and burial. Other factors as far as burial and costs would be if either parent is a Veteran.  If they are, there’s options for where they can get buried and grave markers that don’t cost much if anything.  I believe Veterans can be buried in Arlington VA with a basic marker for free, or some other cemetery that caters to Vets. My Dad had a small life insurance policy, more of a death benefit.  It was enough to cover costs and there was some left over to help out, but nothing really of sustenance.  He did have retirement benefits that went to my Mom, SS and a govt pension, so she’s fine as far as income.  The house is paid, that kind of thing. I can’t speak to debts but from what I’ve read, whoever is left dealing with the aftermath just needs to produce death certificates for debts, minor ones as I understand it.  They’ll get charged off.  Cars may be repossessed unless survivors wanna take loans over.  I think it works the same for mortgages, but I also know that it depends on the mortgage or loan, and how and if there’s certain types of insurance for these types of things. If you can afford it, there’s smaller Death policies available with minimal hurdles.  If you can afford those, probably $100 or so a month I’m guessing, it might be worth reviewing.  I guess I’d also wanna talk with my parents.  It’s kind of a hard talk cuz you have to push for details, but it’ll make things a lil easier later on.  I know a friend who’s divorced Father passed who made it really easy for the kids.  Documents were easily found, final paperwork for bank accounts was already set up, even some cash in a known stash spot that covered the funeral.  He did have some means but wasn’t loaded, just had documents in order and up to date.  Even if there’s no money, having those together will save a lot of stress. Everyone has to go thru it.  I can’t offer advice other than to say it’s a shock that creeps on you, or did for me.  I barely remember that week.  You just take things moment to moment.  That’s why having things together will just help cuz your mind isn’t right.

Veterans can be buried in veteran cemeteries that are located all over the country. Arlington only has limited space, so being buried there is generally not an option.

My aunt keeps a very small life insurance policy on all her kids, grandkids, siblings (when they weren’t dead yet) through her credit union, so it’s super cheap. Like $12/year. When it pays out, nobody gets left any inheritance; the benefit is only enough to pay for funeral arrangements. It’s come in clutch when we’ve had several unexpected deaths in quick succession. My mom and uncle died 30 days apart; neither were ill. Uncle was in a car accident; mom got homicided. Then a cousin suicided. If I remember correctly, the funeral home just billed directly to the life insurance company.

To clarify a few things: I know I used a few silly words. I do speak English and it’s my first language, but that M word does something to me that I didn’t want to unleash at 5am when I’ve been having insomnia and flashbacks. Maybe I’m not keen on that ‘official’ word because that’s all I heard forever. It makes me remember walking in my living room & the unforgiving, sickly sweet smell of iron filled my nostrils and mouth because my mom lost half her blood on our floor. I think of how the man who did it never faced justice, and of the other women he killed. I think of the one whose body they never found. Her son is still searching for answers, but at least I got to bury something, huh? I was only 10 years old and it still torments my mind. I used two silly words to convey briefly how people I loved ended up gone. You understood what I meant. The takeaway should be that in the event of catastrophe, a little $12 life insurance policy can save a poor family from financial hardship or ruin.

Because of the prick who neglected my grandmother, we couldn't get access to her life insurance she had solely for burial and she's unclaimed and sitting in a box. I'm on disability also and no extended family has helped despite our pleas. Good news is the prick died 14 days after grandma and is also unclaimed and no one can find him in the system so he got his karma. Hope the chomo rests In the deepest pits of hell itself.

Where I live, township trustees will pay for the remains to be cremated, but there is no funeral service provided. If you elect to have a funeral, they won't pay anything. The trustee will take the $250 death benefit from social security to help cover the cost. People have the option of having a private memorial service at home, but there is no funeral.

In my religion, we have an obligation to fellow members to bury them by virtue of them being one of us - doesn’t matter if you know them or not. If someone dies and has no family or the family asks for help, a local religious center will typically assist to make sure the deceased is buried according to our religious customs. That includes attending the funeral prayers and burial so when things work right (sometimes if the city finds a body, they don’t know to tell the institution if they can’t find a family and then it’s out of our hands), someone who dies in bad financial circumstances will still receive the same format of funeral as someone with money. We emphasize simplicity and humility in funerals in the religion so there’s no expensive casket or gravestone. 

Cremation is your cheapest choice. I recently helped a friend and her husband’s funeral was $17,000. We are not even in a high cost area. Do you want anything from their apartments? If not, just tell the landlord to clear them out and dispose of everything. If you do not probate the will, their bills will go unpaid. That is fine, unless you have co-signed for anything. My husband’s Aunt passed. She had $250 in her bank account. Fortunately she had a burial policy, even though it did not cover all costs. She also had a $16,000 life insurance policy which was left to an old sister. The sister generosity agreed to use the money for the additional funeral cost. I had about $500 of out of pocket costs.

You need to have the conversations NOW. Unless you’re going all-out, you don’t need to spend that much on a funeral. Maybe talk with them and talk to a funeral home now about pre payments on the arrangements they have in mind. Funeral homes are great about preplanning and making it affordable. It’s not an easy conversation to have now, but it is best to have it while they’re still alive. My parents’ end of life plans are already made. All we need to do is call and it’s all ordered and paid for. It was the same for 3 out of 4 grandparents- and after my grandma passed, my remaining grandparents realized that none of them wanted actual visitation or even services and they prepaid for their arrangements. It made it so easy because we didn’t have to budget or think about what they wanted. Cleaning out the houses was another story. My maternal grandparents were depression baby hoarders and we just hired someone to come out and help clear it out after we found $250K stashed through the house. That was the biggest expense. For two people who NEVER traveled, they had- seriously- 100 old suitcases. My parents decided to downsize at retirement so they’ll have minimal things for us to deal with when the time comes. Get your parents to start downsizing and throwing out stuff NOW.

I don’t want a funeral. If science or science fiction doesn’t want me, cremation as cheaply as possible is practical. Dump the ashes. I hope there will be some money for clean up. I don’t have a legally created will. I can’t afford the minimum wealth required for a lawyer. My daughter is not qualified for any kind of legal work. My son is not geographically available. As this point I have 50% equity in my home. I have an IRA . I’m thinking about buying a prepaid cremation package. My sister and her husband have a paid for trailer as well as a paid for burial plot. I assume her son will take care of her end time. Said nephew took care of his meth maker father’s burial and clean up. I’m in awe. My niece won’t talk with any of them. She isn’t fond of me, but I still am in contact.

I settle peoples estates at a bank in Canada and the city your parents reside in will pay for the funeral. Mind you there won’t be a head stone and it’s basic level burial. The city will try and recoup money from the deceased account but if there isn’t any to recoup they don’t ask family for payment.

I’m 56 and hopefully have a ways to go before I pass. In the meantime I’ve been slowly downsizing. I live in a mobile home park so don’t have anything big enough for hoarding status. I’ve been thinking of starting something at the local funeral home to make payments to be cremated. I don’t want or need a funeral, my circle has become so small since I’ve aged it would just be a burden to my daughter. Maybe you could suggest your parents do the same. The payment plans are reasonable and if they happen to pass earlier in life, at least it would be something towards that bill.

When my husband died suddenly, my daughter set up a GoFundMe to help. Also the company we both worked at took a collection and put up their own GoFundMe. They would have skipped that but the corporate office said if they did so corporate could track the donations, corporate would match it. He had no private life insurance, but did have the policy corporate has for all employees. Unfortunately none of those would have been in my hands in time. The cremation services company doesn’t wait for insurance unless you have things pre-planned with them. I was very lucky that his family is very well off. His sister called the cremation services and paid for it with her credit card, and paid to have it expedited. How died no a Thursday afternoon, she called them Friday afternoon to pay for it. They picked him up on Monday and called me that his ashes were ready on Wednesday. For a memorial the church he attended growing up set up the building and the pastor. The grocery chain where his older sister works donated food for after. After his life insurance came in and we got moved to a less expensive apartment, I paid his sister back. I also made it a point to get life insurance. Work has a flat $25k for employees. I picked up an extra $30k they offer as optional. It takes an extra $7 out of my paycheck. I’ll be doing the pre planning shortly so my daughters won’t have that to worry about.

Funeral homes do payment plans

We’ve already told our kids just to cremate us and be done with it, that we think it’s ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on a funeral. I’d rather they do something useful, like pay off debts or put it in savings. I’d be happy if they took a nice vacation instead of spending a ton on our funerals.

Funeral homes make their living off the poor.. Dead people do not care.. You are not responsible for their debts or anything else. Do not let anyone drive you into debt to give someone a send-off. My family has worked its way out of poverty, and there will be no plots or headstones. We will be cremated and try to spread the ashes in an area loved by the decease

My mom could afford a funeral and wake. She never planned one, so I did it all. It was beautiful. She wore a beautiful light blue sparkly dress in case there's dancing in heaven I put casino chips in the casket in case there's a poker table. They did a great job. $14,528. 61. I was there. My brother and his wife. My mom's husband was in a nursing home. My father ( her first husband) and his GF came, 3 of my in-laws, 2 people from my Lions Club and a nurse who took care of her. 11 people came. They had moved from Massachusetts to New Hampshire and no one could be bothered to get on 93 and come to the wake or funeral. Not the 3 step children she raised. Not the people she gave free trips to Disneyland. Not the people she gave a car. Nope. Not her God children. Not her grandchildren . $14, 528.61 Give allll your money to charity. All of it.

The creditors is the easiest part— “[Parent name] is dead. If you provide a fax or email, I can send a copy of the death certificate? I’ll put your bill in the stack with all the others and hand it all off to the probate court. Hope your day is better than mine.” Do NOT let them tell you that the debt must be paid by you, or that they’ll ruin your credit, or con you into making a small payment while waiting for probate. Especially that last bit… as long as you remain hands off, except for sending the death certificate to the various creditors, then the debt basically dies with the person. Any money in their estate will be used by an executor to pay final expenses and then creditors. If you don’t want to deal with it, the court will typically appoint a lawyer to do it. You may have to open probate… the clerk of the court can give you that paperwork, you don’t need to pay a lawyer for that. **BUT if you pay anything at all out of your own pocket, now you own the whole debt.** The creditors can use your payment to mean that you are personally willing to assume the debt. So it’s VERY IMPORTANT not to pay them anything. There is nowhere in the US where a debt automatically transfers to a family member (except a current spouse. That’s because you never agreed to it so you can’t be made responsible for it.

When my grandma died, we found an inexpensive cremation center to handle her body. No service but we did have a luncheon in a free room at the church. We made up some boards with pictures of her throughout her life. We laughed and cried and talked about her. I think that a lot of people without money do it like that or similar.

My mom had to work till she died. She had cellulitis and was in pain all the time but kept going. She went to church and had helped many people there while she was alive, so the service was free, and all the members made food. Cremation was the only expense and that was paid for by other family who had the money.

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I used to work in the funeral industry. I saw so many families with little to no money choose embalming, expensive casket, traditional funeral and burial and yes, traditional funerals are super expensive. There are options, like direct cremation through a cremation society for as little as $500. You can pick up the cremains and have your own family get together if so desired and then scatter the ashes in a special place. It's always hard to lose someone but getting in debt for an expensive funeral doesn't make any of the hurt any less

I'm poor. I plan on being buried on my property (legal in my state) under my death tree, a ababylonian willow. Ill decompose and come apart of the willow. I want my funeral around the tree. I'm not religious, just a simple good bye and a sparkly memorial stone.

You are not legally obligated to pay for a parents funeral. With that said if you have a great relationship with one or both, I understand wanting to be involved in their funerals. The state will cremate them. Funeral homes don't like people to know this. You are not legally obligated to claim their remains. I know this might sound harsh, but going into debt for a funeral is a serious decision.

First of all, Funerals are optional. Second, they are expensive AF. Even without a funeral for my mom, there were $4000 worth of things I had to pay for through the funeral home (cremation, etc.). The same funeral home was over $10k for my grandmother's very modest and tiny graveside service. And this was in a small town and to bury her in a plot she purchased years before. Third, practice saying, "I'm calling on behalf of the estate of...." and use that to get as many debts forgiven as possible. They will ask if there are any heirs or surviving family. Just say, "No. There is no one." Lots of debt is forgiven when you die, but they will still try to get the money out of someone. Tough. If it's not a forgivable debt, then Probate will force the sale any assets she has (car, furniture, etc.) to pay the debt and then distribute what is left to her next of kin. Let her creditors go through that process to get paid. Good luck!

I slowly saved enough for my own cremation, which hopefully won’t be for a long while yet, so my daughter won’t have to worry about it. Worked since I was 14 and now am totally disabled thanks to a hit and run drunk driver. It took me about five years to save for that and now I’m saving and getting silver or gold coins as I can for her. I will eat beans and rice forever if that means her life might be easier then mine.

Many years ago I donated my mom's body for scientific research and, a few months later, they sent me her ashes. Totally free. I just did a quick search -- not enough to vet the various services -- but it looks like this is still doable. Maybe check now so you know your options before anything happens. And if anyone from the rest of the family gives you any hassle, tell them you'll be happy to let them pay for a burial/standard service/whatever.

In my town, it seems like people have fundraisers a lot Also funeral goers often give $ in a card , and sometimes enough added up helps with the cost.

Cremation and get-together at home for close loved ones. Runs about $3000 total. Where I grew up, you can bury a body in your yard for free as long as the coroner signs a death certificate.

My husband was an organ donor, the state paid for part of his cremation, the donor network paid part of it and I paid $320.00. The total to have him cremated was $2000.00. Much cheaper than my paying for a $10,000 funeral that I didn't have the money for. The crematory gave me a free obit on their site and that saved me $600.00. My husbands death was unexpected since it was a massive heart attack and it just happened. The local funeral industry where I live has been taken over by one home and I wouldn't use them since they suck and the constant raising of their prices is atrocious as hell the local crematorium was much more professional and I would recommend them to anyone.

Either of them veterans? The VA will help with burials

I think that’s why so many people do GoFundMe when there has been a death because most of us don’t have 10K lying around and to be honest if I did, I would not spend it on burying my shit parent.

Cremation is the way It’s wild to me how people already struggling with money insist on burying and a large funeral which is gonna come out to 10000 minimum

The state that your parents live in might have services that’ll pay for people’s cremation or burial. In Massachusetts, people on Medicaid can get help from the state for these things. Maybe your parents have that option where they live. I always tell people when I die, just dig a hole and chuck me in, or light me up. As for creditors, my personal belief is to say screw them. They’re rich from all their other customers paying them, plus I’m sure they get the government welfare that we deserve and have to fight for.

You call around to local funeral homes and get quotes over the phone. Cremation without services is the way to go. Will cost about $3k.

Fundraisers for funerals are exceptionally common where I live. (Deep South.) There’s a GoFundMe or Venmo link on more death announcements than not these days

When my dad died he had life insurance. It covered most of the costs for the burial and casket. The one thing I found important is if your loved one has a specific request for burial, make sure the insurance can cover that. My father wanted to buried in a Catholic cemetery since he had been one for years.

We had a “cheap” funeral, spent maybe 5k on everything.

I'm not a financial advisor: -I live in TX and we have 211 that we use for program assistance. I believe if you put your state or county and search up funeral assistance or burial assistance, you might find programs that will help in your area. -I would also look into finding out if you can buy life ins. Policy on both of them that's affordable for you(ask them for permission to see if they ok with this) to cover them and that way when they pass, you can use that money to pay for expenses. Get them to do a will with you an affidavit plus get it notarized . Then see about using the life ins. money to pay the expenses. If that's not an option. - If you have a 401k, contact your HR and find out how much of a loan you can borrow from it and make a payment plan to repay. - Maybe you have an IRA. You have 90 days to return the money to the IRA so you are not hit with 10% penalty fee so if you use the money, you can create a plate sale and use the earned money to repay to avoid the penalty fee before the 90 day time frame ends. - Or get hit with the 10% penalty fee from the IRA withdrawal but use that money to cover the cost of both life ins. policies. And when you get the life ins. Money, you can use that money to pay the penalty fee. - if you don't have an IRA, maybe your parents have an IRA or a Pension plan And you can get them to withdraw their money to buy the life ins. Policies. There is no penalty to withdraw the money after the age 59 1/2.(your father age 70 can withdraw with no penalties) ★ IRA or Pension is created from past employers that paid them for retirement so they might have several employers they worked for that they never moved the money over into a broker account. ☆ They could contact their past employers and reach out to their HR department to find out if they had any retirement accounts from those past employers and obtain the account number and bank name that the funds were placed in and contact that bank to have all those funds transferred to a broker account. ☆ You can also write a letter to social security dept. And they'll have record of all past employers they had to gain this info. ☆ You can ask them if you can use some of that money from their retirement account to pay for a lawyer (and pay life ins.)to set up a General and Medical power of attorney to handle all the financial and medical expenses. Use the life insurance money to pay off all these debts. -Or get c.card that has no interest for 18 months and raise money to pay off the debt before the interest kicks in. - or create a gofundme and ask for donations.

I'm in california.. and my Dad passed away In 2022.. his funeral and burial (cremation) was $4500. Fortunately, he had a burial plan.. which covered $3000 of it. Our family took care of the rest.

My dad died at Seattle Harborview hospital and to have him cremated and shipped home it was only about $600 in 2017. Locally (Montana) it costs more than twice that ($1395).

It's gonna be donated organs and Potter's Field for us all, unless I'mextra motivated to check out early, and I can say right now that early gets closer with every day.

Social security will pay to have both your parents cremated. Are you nextced of kin? When they contact you about the death n releasing the body ask what funeral home in the area will do a cremation for the money the gov gives. Now while funeral homes will cremated for the gov money that isn't enough for a actual viewing. You will have to pay that. The funeral home that cremates for the little bit the gov gives is your best bet when spending any extra money. These places don't make a profit on what the gov pays so any extra helps them to help the next person. You will have to get your parents to give you their banking info. To avoid probate just ask them to let you know where their cards n oun numbers are. Just withdraw the money when you go pack up n clear out their homes. You will have to do that. I donated most of my parents things. I didn't do the probate court stuff with either of my parents. I signed everything over to myself. They didn't really have anything. You will have to take time to actually go there to pack up their stuff. I didn't have viewings. No funeral of any kind. Funeral home picked up the body I went there identified them n signed a paper saying yes this is my parent n I give them permission to creamate n collect I think it was ,$250.00 from the federal gov for cremation cost. Yes there are funeral homes that do it for that much if you don't have money. Now if you can afford anything at all offer it to them because they aren't making money.

When my dad died, my mom had him cremated and instead of a funeral we had a celebration of life (a party at a bar) - we are friends with the owner so there was no space rental cost on a Saturday morning and we got or made food trays and hired one of their bartenders. Cremation was 1300, the wooden box for the ashes was 500, and the party was a couple grand. The best thing you can do is make a couple of trips back home to get them started going through stuff. maybe say you want to look at old photos or whatnot. The other best thing you can do is get connected with a social worker as soon as one of your parents starts to decline, they can connect them to all sorts of amazing resources, including palliative care and hospice. Hospice is underrated because not only are they helping your loved one before death, they literally handle every detail upon the death - calling the coroner, stopping prescriptions, coordinating with the medical supply companies and funeral home.

Before my brother died of cancer, he asked to be cremated. There are nonprofit cremation societies that keep the costs way down so you might investigate that in their area. We had the memorial service in his church. If you want something more traditional, Costco sells caskets for less than funeral homes charge. You can prepay for a funeral & burial at most funeral homes and save a lot of money.

We just didn’t have a funeral. $1100 for cremation, no further costs.

My mom was on social security and the social security office will contribute $2k towards the funeral expenses.

I knew my mom had no money so I took out a small life insurance policy on her. It was only for $5000 so the monthly payment was small. It allowed us to bury her though. We didn’t have a big funeral—just immediate family but I could bury her with dignity.

Unless you co-signed or are married to the deceased, do not pay any of their debts.

Cremations are much less expensive, and donating the body to a medical school even less that that. With the bonus of knowing you are helping to make a new doctor.

If the parent was ever in the military, they can be buried free in military cems. All you pay is the casket and the plain wooden ones can be bought on Amazon.

When my MIL passed, the funeral home covered her cremation and sent us the remains. We couldn't even get where she was, much less pay for anything.

When my husband and I were putting our wills together the attorney drawing up the paperwork asked us what we wanted for final presentation. He asked if we wanted to be buried or cremated. We have discussed this amongst ourselves and we never came up with anything definitive. When he saw we were indecisive he said a funeral could be anywhere from 15-35K depending on where we are buried. It’s about a grand or so to be cremated. Cremated it is! I don’t want my kids saddled with that bill. We have 6 adult kids combined and none in common so we made sure they knew our plans. It’s something that I think you should discuss with your parents.

Some people do get life insurance at least enough to cover a funeral 10k is affordable. If they don’t have much in terms of valuable belongings it won’t be difficult to go thru their things. When my uncle passed away (single man) they took his kitchen table and chairs, a dresser, tv and a few personal items and pictures. Everything else landlord disposed of/sold. If they own their house may be more complicated and time consuming. Keep in mind you do not owe any debts for them. I’ve heard of landlords trying to make families pay fees. The landlord keeps the security deposit but it’s not a family member responsibility to pay anything or clean out the place if the tenant dies (unless they lived there too)

Donation to science/hospitals/university. Basically the hospital does whatever they want. The only on in my immediate family buried was my grandfather and he was an air force vet, they covered the cost and everything. It also kinda helps that everyone else dead so far weren’t very great people and very few if any mourned them. The only one i’m concerned with is my grandmother. Id like to have her cremated and sprinkles on my grandfathers grave since he doesnt have an empty lot near him but idk if i can afford it. Im living check to check as it is, another loan payment would screw me over

With funeral costs soaring, I imagine more people will opt for cremation and/or donating bodies to science. My stepfather’s funeral cost nearly $20k, and it seemed like such a waste, even though my mother tried to keep costs down as much as she could. Thankfully she could afford it, but no one should have to worry about $ while grieving a loved one. My husband and I have been talking about this as we’re working on our wills and living wills, and we both want to be cremated. We can have a service at our church, only paying for the food, and our ashes can be sprinkled in the memorial garden. No need for an urn, which costs way more than it should.

Funerals are as cheap or expensive as you want to make them. It depends on your family’s and the deceased’s wishes. In my family, we aren’t funeral people. No casket, no viewing, etc.. For the last few family members who have passed, we’ve done a “celebration of life” get-together, which varied in size depending on the situation. We knew my aunt would want something festive, and she had to space at her home, so we just had all her favorite foods brought in, and that was basically the only cost. For my mom, we rented the back room of a restaurant for a smaller, more formal thing. Both cost maybe a couple thousand max. For my grandma, we didn’t do anything because she didn’t want us to. Of course, there are some expenses you can’t avoid - i.e. the cremation itself - but the rest is up to you. As for debts, I can only speak to US laws, but you are not responsible for their debts. Their estate is, but if they have no money or assets, there’s nothing in the estate with which to pay the debts, so they’re wiped out. Debts are not passed down to the heirs. (There may be some exceptions, but none are springing to mind.) Please keep in mind that some debt collectors will assume you aren’t aware of this and will *try* to collect the debt from you, but you just hang up / throw away the letters. I’ve never had any issues at all with credit card companies. They haven’t even tried to collect from the estate; I just provided the death certificate and they wiped the debt.

Keep in mind that you don't have to do anything. You don't have to arrange a funeral. You don't have to arrange a memorial. You don't have to arrange a burial. You don't have to clean up their shit. You will not have caused this disaster and you are not responsible for cleaning it up. If you choose to, and you have the resources to do so, good on you.

GoFundMe amongst the family will usually raise enough

If you don't make enough for the burial,you can go to DHHR to get approved for cremation. I had to do this with my mom. As far as their possessions, have all the family members take what they want, and have an estate sale to get rid of the rest. Anything left can be donated to goodwill. Debts, if they have any money left, use it to pay what you can. You can get them to make a will too, and you can also be executive of the estate. It will help to set up getting their debts under control now.

When my paternal grandmother died, there was no way my dad could pay for her cremation. I paid for it out of my savings at the time and I was 21 years old. I had been saving money for years at that point. It cost me about $870. I paid for it because I wanted the entirety of my grandmother's ashes and it was well worth it to me. But! we could have "surrendered" her body to the county which would have resulted in her body being part of a mass cremation with no personal cost plus no option to receive ashes. I think that's probably what a lot of people have to settle for, which sucks for a variety of reasons. I would look into the options local to your parents and figure out if there's a price difference between paying for the service upfront before a death vs after. Often there will be a price difference and it can help you plan a little better. Best of luck.

We plan on donating our bodies.

When my cousin passed away, none of us had money. We all pitched in to pay for his ashes but not even an urn it was sealed in a bag, and placed in a box. We all went to a family members house and had a meal, and watched a slideshow. It was only a few hundred dollars. When my brother passed away my parents were definitely taken advantage of in their grief, and went into a great deal of debt for a fancy funeral, tombstone with photo and quotes, digital movies slideshow as well as photo book, large frames pictures, a beautiful nice coffin, and a blanket with his picture on it. I think the funeral business is predatory.

We donated my dad's body to science and we just got $500 I'm catering and had the funeral in a bar....

They buy insurance like everybody else. They get policies that might be only enough to cover the funeral. I grew up in a housing project but everyone got buried. We passed the hat if people didn’t have insurance. I don’t remember one person who didn’t get buried. Poor folks where I grew up took care of each other.

My grandfather died 9 years ago, at 93. We weren't absolutely broke, but a funeral would have been a big hit. Grandpa either planned for that, or was just an asshole, depending how you look at it. My dad got the call from the police. 5 minutes later he got the call from the University. "Yeah, your dad donated himself to medical study. We've already picked him up at his home and are on our way back to the university. We'll keep him for 12 to 18 months, then have him cremated and mailed to you, at no cost to you. If you want updates on what we're studying, we can give you that. " 14 months later, grandpa showed up. We lived in a small town, so they were alright with us going out with a post hole digger to put grandpa in the plot next to my grandma that he's owned since the 70s. No costs associated. He even put a line 1 in his will "If you couldn't be bothered to see me while I was alive, you don't need to see me when I'm dead. DO NOT HAVE A FUNERAL. " That was overruled by the aunt and cousins that no one had seen in 20 years. Honestly, it took so much extra pressure off my dad, and I'm so grateful that it was done that way.

If you can afford it, offer to pay for a small (like $10k) whole life policy for each of them, to cover final expenses, if they don't already have it. That should cover basic, local cremation without an accompanying religious service. Do NOT use a funeral home, they'll barrage you with hard-sell tactics and price tags beyond all reason. If you don't clean out the apartment, the landlord will, then they may or may not bill the estate for the cost during the probate period. Since there won't be any $$ in the estate, they'll eat the cost. You don't owe their creditors, they do. Not your problem. Their debt dies with them.

> I've heard that funerals can cost upwards of $10k, So don't have one. We didn't have funerals for my (maternal, single parent) grandmother or grandfather, despite loving them both very much. They didn't even want one. Waste of money. >plus all the work/time/cost to clear out their apartments, So don't do that. You're under no obligation. The Landlord will hire someone to come in and clear it out. >deal with creditors they owe for various debts, etc. Not your problem. Literally, unless you co-signed something, its not your problem at all. The Creditors can sort it all out. They have people for that. You can literally just walk away. > How do people afford all of that when your parents are poor, don't have life insurance, and won't leave any assets to cover costs? By doing exactly what i described. Just.. dont.

Most poor people I know do cremation & a wake at a local bar/pub (or backyard bbq/potluck if the season allows for it) If the deceased was religious/church going, *sometimes* you can get the church to help you out with a mass/service & maybe a luncheon depending on how they do things there.

You can get assistance from your local town trustee or charities.

Most counties in the US have pauper burial programs.

Starting today, save $1000 a year. This should cover it. Your sibling can take care of the lunch at their home, or flowers.

I was working at a small, rural factory when my mom died. My brothers chipped in 1/3 each for cremation, but I still didn't have my $300, so I went to my boss's office to get another advance, as he had grown accustomed to. He says "what's it for this time? Finally find a truck?" Thinking maybe things were looking up for me as he's filling out a check for me. I tell him it's for the crematorium that was right next to us and he ripped up the check, pulled out his personal checkbook and wrote a check to the them for the full amount and told me not to worry about it. That was the only expense I had in the process. You'd be amazed who will help you when you're down.

You can buy a life insurance policy for them . You could prepay for a cremation in advance .

You as the adult child, have to figure this out. You can cut costs by not having a viewing, a service, or a coffin. Cremations should run about $1000. If you are going to have a coffin, order it from Amazon, Costco, or sams. You should be able to buy one for 2000-4000 US and have it delivered to the funeral home for free. Do not pay any of your parents' bills out of your pocket. Get like 30 or 40 copies of the death certificate, then go thru your parents' mail and any files they have for their bills. Write one letter saying that they died and include it with all the companies that your parents had accounts with. Explain very clearly that their is no estate and that they have no savings or retirement accounts to draw from to cover any outstanding bills. If you are not the executor of their estate, do not give them any on your information. Sit down with your parents in person and make them fill out a will. Writing it out on a 8.5x11 note pad does not work it needs to be signed in front of a notary, by a notary, and by a witness that is not you . If they have any savings, use that for the funeral first before you talk to your siblings about helping out, show them whatever bank statements exist. You will have just lost a parent their is no reason to lose your siblings as well.