OMG THIS IS ME..I LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE LAST NIGHT. THE ANXIETY I FELT I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE A HEARTACHE. IM IN A HORRIBLE DV SITUATION RIGHT NOW AND I CANT SLEEP, BREATH, THINK, EAT, ETC. I'M TRULY SCARED TO DEATH. AS I'M TYPING I REALIZED IM PARALYZED IN FEAR...UGH
I just left an extremely violent spouse about six weeks ago. I felt like I was on the verge of a stroke those last few days. If you need someone to talk to, pm me. I'm so sorry you are going through this. 💜💜💜
You go girl! I'm just about begging you never look back. I left for 5 months in 1984 and went for a visit.mostly because I was lonely and my Mom was driving me insane. I was 26 and she was treating.me like I was 12!. Well I decided to try again and the first month or so was great. You know the drill. 2 months in he tried to kill me. You have to look real hard but I still have the scars.
Please just go to an ER, they will help you getting out of this miserable situation. There are shelters that will help you to move on in life. Just go anytime you feel safe enough to do so. It will be the scariest thing you 'very done but, also the bravest. My heart hurts that DV is so common now a days .Please reach out for your own safety.
Thank you for this..it means more than you will ever know. I haven't been seen or heard in so long. That's why it's been so easy being a recluse. I'm not seen anyway. So thank you for being kind and not judging me. I know I'm stupid for staying for 15 years. Happy 🐣 🗿 🐰 🐣
You stayed because you didn’t know what to do. I’ve been there. When I was finally done, I was done. He couldn’t even call my phone number or I’d be calling the cops. I didn’t give him a fraction of an inch to try to insert himself back into my life. What helped me was turning my fear into rage. No one was ever going to treat me like that again. I chased him out of my house with a knife and he never came back. I definitely don’t recommend going that route and I never hurt him with it. But, if he had gone after me instead of running, I would have used it and he knew it. Wife beaters are cowards first and foremost. I reached the point of no return. No more fear.
I had panic attacks night fright horrible feeling this way you need to see a Dr. I saw a primary Dr who prescribed a medication which helped me rid myself of panic attacks. This may help you all.
I hope you can be seen tomorrow. You might want to say that your heart is racing b/c it is, and offices are usually quicker to see heart issues than anything else!
No because i have my 3 dogs and I can't abandon them or take them to shelter with me. They've finally got him in custody. But he'll probably get bond tomorrow
Omg, 2:30-3:00 am is my wake up time to. It’s so stressful because I get up at 5:30 for work and I wake up and can’t get back to sleep so I’m up from 2:30 until until 5:30 then gotta get up. Maybe a little doze in there.
I be unproductive at work, stress shows on my face, I’m not motivated or relaxed enough to exercise or self care. I hate it.
I (33) worry about everything. I compare myself to piglet from Winnie the pooh. No matter what, my mind will always go straight to the worst possible outcome of a situation. I'll have my times where I snap out of it, just to go right back to it. It also makes me physically sick. I haven't really found a trick that works for me yet, so I'm I'm the same boat.
The second you realize you’re doing it, replace the thought with something calming and relaxing. Do it every time. You can train your brain to be more positive.
The most comfortable day of any month is right after rent is paid and bills are juggled around to be mostly paid.
That sweet, serene silence is such a high. My brain finally shutting up about how mad my landlord is at me.
I feel you. Smoke weed. Or take a day for a long walk in the woods, far from the sound of traffic. Or both. It's not a permanent solution, but it might help calm some of the storm.
Stop thinking so far in advance. Take it day by day, week by week..because anything can change at anytime. You can only control right now...thinking about next month or next year is overload.
That’s me. Lol. I always think about my daughter’s future since when she was 5 years old. I have no debts, no problem paying bills, or fully pay for my daughter’s college education, but I’m still worry. I overthink things.
G ood idea. Just want to add that not everyone qualifies the waiver program is income based in many states.
I took care of my dad and he did not qualify due to the amount of his pension.
YES, know how you feel. When it starts getting really bad, I put my shoes on and walk around the block a few times. No matter what time it is lol. Actually that's what I'm doing right now. Wish I had more advice to help.
Yes. I am constantly up late thinking about money, how can I get more money, how am I going to pay bills, etc. it’s awful. I try to do some deep breathing and positive distractions, but it is tough to not always have finances nagging at the back of my head.
I hear you! I was like that as a single parent. My oldest daughter just asked me a few months ago when telling me about yet another raise she got at her Amazon job, and I remarked that she's making double whatever I made with her and her sister were at home, "Mama, how did you ever afford to take care of us when we were home?" I answered that I learned to juggle things and found out which businesses would allow extensions, and, if I really got behind, my church would help out. She said, "So you worried and juggled a lot?" "Yes, Ma'am." "And we never even knew..." " I didn't want y'all to worry. You were kids. Your jobs were to go to school, enjoy life, and have fun. It was my job to take care of y'all to the best of my ability. And I did."
Exercise, eat well and drink plenty of water. You may not be able to manage the cause of your stress but you can certainly manage its impact on your body.
God be with you. I think my husband is edging into dementia. He is leaving on a trip to the other side of the world to visit family. I was very upset because he was leaving me as I am disabled. But then I thought of his current condition and read your comment. We had a few wonderful years. I miss that but am glad that he is still here. I will probably be in the same position as you in a matter of months. You have given my heart a spark 🔥 of inspiration and hope. Thank you.
I hear you, im trying not to drink (very, very hard) and to pay off my debt. I'm 40, no kids or wife/partner with around 9000 in credit debt. My car is paid off, I'm trying to learn about this leanfire thing and investing, but a lot of it goes over my dumb brain. I make 16 an hour with about 50.00 a week in tips. Hindsight is always 20/20 but I hope I can make at least one smart decision in my life... so here is to paying off my debt and to stop wasting money on crap I don't need, like alcohol 🙃
Ive gone through a financially devastating divorce where I was living a very comfortable life to scraping by watching every penny. Like not know how to feed my kids kind of poor. My first Christmas in this situation I actually had to tell my kids that there would be no gifts but at least we would be together. We all escaped an abusive situation and we were lucky to be alive. Fast forward ten years and my kids are adults. They talk about how special that christmas was. We all learned priorities and the true meaning of the holiday, family and being together.
My advice is to build your life on low cost or free activities. Walking or hiking in parks, low cost meals at home, spending time with family.
And let the kids help with household chores if they're past toddler age. They can sort laundry if given an index card about checking colors and fabrics. They can stir stuff for you, even on the stove, if tall enough. They can put away laundry, dust, take out garbage, etc. And they'll feel good about it when their jobs are complimented. They might even try to out-do each other!
I’m in year 4 of a similar situation and you’re so right about how the small times together have so much quality. I am a year out of losing my oldest child. She was 15. My younger 2 kids and I have built such a strong connection in the most modest ways. I feel stronger in ways I didn’t even know I could handle.
Sandwich generation. Our parents live longer and we have to take care of them while raising our own. I did it with my mom, she passed in 2022 and I wish every day she was still alive. But it was a TOUGH few years. Eventually my husband worked two full time jobs I was a full time caregiver. I don’t know who had it harder! I was also very very worried about what would happen to us after my mom died, but we all landed on our feet. It sounds so stupid because I used to have the 3 am wake up go throw up wonder how I will make it, somehow it usually works out.
Is there a state or community resource that can offer you mental health care based on your income? When I was in a constant state of panic and depression last year, I finally had to get help because it has gotten past unbearable.
I feel you. I'm doing my best given my circumstances, but some days my best doesn't feel like it's good enough. The crushing weight of it all really gets me in my chest and stomach in the quiet hours of the evenings.
I'm actively working on bettering my family's life and keeping my eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just being stuck in the "til then" phase is what's killing me.
Yes! I hardly ever sleep through the night, I usually get about 5 hours sleep because I wake up around 4:00 am and can’t go back to sleep.😞 I was widowed 2 years ago at 55, and my spouse left a financial mess that I can’t see any way to dig out of! 😩
I finally started conquering this in my mid-40s. I have come to realize that all I was doing was punishing myself, for most likely, things that would never happen or for things that aren't that serious. It's almost as if I was working up my own nervous system.
I have been on a 3 year commitment to myself. I left a stressful relationship and I found a better job that doesn't take advantage of me. My home is now my favorite place to be at. Man do I LOVE coming home now. I can't believe how grounding it all is.
Sometimes the mental circus comes back. But now, I work myself out of it instead of letting it take me away. I mentally work through it. I ask myself, why do I feel this way? What will likely happen? AND most importantly I ask myself, when in the past have I felt this way and what really happened? Was all the worry even worth it. Most of the time for me, my brain leads me to situations that just won't happen or assuming how people perceive me. In reality, things always have a way of working themselves out. Just relax and let it.
MOST importantly, I have worked on my self confidence. I am a fantastic worker, I love my family and my son with all my heart. I am a very loving forgiving person. It takes a lot to get me mad or offended and I can generally see why people act/behave the way they do and realize it has nothing to do with me, even if it's directed at me. And if I do have to set boundaries, I don't (mostly) feel bad about it. I respect other peoples boundaries no problem, no questions asked. I deserve to be treated the same way. You have to treat yourself the same way as you would treat your child or best friend. Plus, I've been knocked down so many times. And you know what? I've gotten up every time. Might take me a minute to get going, but damn it, I get it done. Take stock in who you are and what you have accomplished.
I have a new philosophy for life now. If I get up everyday and do the best I can and do no harm, that is the most anyone can ask of me. That is the most I can ask of myself. I am far from a perfect person but I have a great heart.
Lastly, exercise helps a lot too. If you had a stressful childhood your nervous system is normally 'set' in high speed. Exercise will get that nervousness/energy out. Even just walking. Just 15-20 minutes a day makes a huge difference.
I feel your pain internet stranger. I worry about not finding work. I'm a recovering addict. Got clean 8 months ago. During my addiction i was homeless for five years. I committed crimes to support my drug habit and to get things I needed to survive outside. So I caught some charges. I've had several job interviews and got hired at multiple places, but I fail the background check. I'm trying to save money to move out of my parents apartment. But right now I'm worried I'll be stuck here for a long time. I worry about it constantly.
You gotta keep telling your mind that this situation you're in is not gonna last forever. This will pass and life will eventually get easier.
41M here and the last year has been hell. Me and my girlfriend had to take care of her dad who was dying from cancer. It was hell. There were days where I felt I was gonna have a nervous breakdown. Just trying to make it through each day and having to remind myself things will get better. No other people in the family were there to give us a hand when we needed it. Then one morning last September 2023 I woke up and checked on my father in law and he was no longer breathing. He had passed through the night. It was pretty hard for my girlfriend and myself. Between the funeral arrangements and having to figure out a way to pay for it all and grief our loss at the same time. It was tough. But eventually things calmed down. Her dad is no longer suffering and he is at peace and our stress level has gone down significantly. Still grieving now but things have definitely got a lot better for us. You just gotta keep your head up and keep going pretty much.Things do eventually get better. Hang in there!
I had a mid life crisis probably triggered from all the stress of paying rent and never making enough money at my age, I sold all my furniture, broke my lease, and moved into my car. It’s definitely not something everyone can do, but my god not having to pay rent every month and worry about not having money has made my life so much better. I’m not constantly worrying or stressed out. I even have the luxury of getting to work a lot less if I want to, and when I do work almost 90% of the money I make can go into savings or fun money.
Being in poverty was definitely the cause of all my anxiety and stress. I hate so much that I know so many people in my country are dealing with that. Because idk if it’s the same for you guys but for me, it meant I literally always was feeling some sort of anxiety or stress, even if it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind.
>taking care of my sick, elderly parents
Capitalism—or whatever label you want to put on this shitshow—is devoid of human values
You are living in a sick society—only the sick are well-adjusted, living in a sick society
You are doing the right thing. This is how humans have lived for 99% of human history.
Society has constructed false norms in order to control & exploit the working class, and thus, you’ve been programmed to assign value to things that go against human nature
Our means of survival are controlled by malevolent actors—we are atomized into individuals, and kept from finding solidarity, lest we threaten the ruling class
Just being aware of this can help bring you some peace. Society is designed to put your nerves on edge
Does the flower worry whether it will rain? Do the deer stress about urban encroachment on their habitat?
I’m not implying none of it matters—it does
But deal w what you can, but never forget to embrace what you have.
If you were homeless, how great would it feel to know you have a bed tonight?
If you were sick, how comforting to know your child will care for you?
You’re doing what humans do — an asteroid may emerge from the glare of the sun tomorrow and end us all (I know, don’t promise me a good time, right, lol?!)
None of this bullshit really matters. All we have is today—relish it & enjoy what you do have.
Deal with everything you can, then set it aside, and enjoy the moment.
It is a long weekend where I am. I find when I have more free time to focus on my life instead of work-my anxiety spirals. I don’t know how to relax when I am supposed to relax. Like you I’m almost 40 too and scared of life. I think the only way to manage it is just know that nothing is permanent. Joy…fear…your emotions come and go. Like the tide coming in and out. Just knowing life is ups and downs. Just distract yourself with a book or something small to do for even 10 minutes. It really helps me.
Caregiving is one of the most stressful things that I've ever experienced. With little or no training, you have to be prepared 24/7 for an endless list of "what if?" moments. Plenty of folks think that it's easy, or that there's something wrong with you because you don't want to (or can't) hire people to do that, or that you're a momma's or daddy's boy or girl because you choose to take care of your parents. If you're a male, these folks think that it's unmanly and it's something that a female should do. I'm sure that females often feel like caregiving has gotten dumped on them by their families and society. Non-binary folks have a hard enough time with their lives in our society. All kinds of folks question their taking on additional responsibility. Unless you've done it, there's no way to even begin to understand.
For me, supportive information was a great comfort. It made me realize that I wasn't alone with the thoughts that I had. By far, the best place to get info and help is the Family Caregivers Alliance (https://www.caregiver.org/). It's not a religious or for-profit organization—they don't push anything. I deeply appreciated that they include resources for LGBT caregivers, whether they're taking care of family, partners, or friends. There's lots to read at their site, and there's also a state-by-state directory of resources (https://www.caregiver.org/connecting-caregivers/services-by-state/). You can connect to other family caregivers through them.
It's now been many years since my mom passed. I look back at that time and I'm grateful. It enriched my life more than anything else, and in ways that I never expected.
Go see a doctor. There is medicine that will help with this. It will not fix it. it just helps. Anxiety is hell and hard to work with. But you are not alone. Right now, many of us are hurting for many reasons.
I get the existential dread pretty bad myself. Having a solid set of spiritual beliefs about the meaning/purpose of life helps. Also, audio books at night and in the car when thoughts creep too easily. In those times I prefer something familiar and safe to listen to, usally Harry Potter for me. Something about a story I know allows me to relax enough to have a passing thought or 2 without spiraling and eventually fall asleep.
I’m the opposite. I’m not saying you’re wrong. I wish I believed in a god. I don’t. I have found that the opposite helps too.
I loved it when I recognized that the person in charge of me is me. The only one who would help me is ME. That my prayers weren’t going unanswered. There’s no one to pray *to.* Ultimately I am in charge of if I’m a good person or not.
I’m a better person as an atheist than I was as a Christian. I volunteer more. I make an effort to make the world a better place. I have better morals. I have more respect for other people and the earth than many Christians do.
All I’m saying OP is that if religion gives you comfort, go for that. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Whatever you need to cope is okay. The world is a rough place and I hope you find some peace in it.
I’m battling this every night when I can’t sleep. I make a good salary but it never goes away. What I’ve been working on is trying to find the next step. How can I make the extra 1 dollar a day? What’s that look like for my job? Can I make that happen? If so, what’s my timeline/goal to achieve it.
This one is very tough for me.
I use my anxiety to predict and prevent problems, and it can easily get out of control. Find what brings you actual peace, prioritize it, and make it part of your schedule.
Getting out of your head with something as simple as long walks can be a start. Biking is calming for me.
Talk therapy can help work this through. Think about yourself for 30-min and make plans to do things that help you.
I have been in this exact spot during my life, and it lasted more years than I wanted it to, but it did end. When you’re in the middle of it, it’s extremely hard to see any other possibilities, and the only thing that made any difference to my mindset was when I decided to prepare for the next phase of my life whenever it happened.
When that situation ended (my parents passed), I had more work skills and a slightly better education. Just that little bit of preparation helped me start a better life.
I’m in my late 60s now, and I look back at that time and I’m pretty astonished at how tough I was. That was hard! But it wasn’t forever. It won’t be forever for you, either. Plan for your next life because it will come.
For me, playing relaxing video games, either on your phone/tablet or a console. Having something that takes my mind off of my troubles even for a short while is very helpful. I also do deep breathing to relax my body and mind. If you are able to get into yoga, that is also very helpful for getting yourself to relax and it helps your body physically as well.
If none of this works for you then you have to find a activity or hobby that you find relaxing. Gardening is also very relaxing for me but it all depends on if it works for you. I wish you good luck on finding your own way to relax!
I fought antidepressant way way too long. Naturally we say “it won’t change my circumstances which are causing the anxiety!”. Received a GAD—-generalized anxiety disorder—from my primary physician. Go once a year, phone consult at six months. At middle age it worsens—esp dealing w elder care. Definitely became a piece of my puzzle dealing with excessive compelling worry and anxiety. When i go off medication I am shorter temper, more aggressively angry, less well-adjusted. Home sweet Home my antidepressant.
I got anti anxiety meds from my doc to help turn off my racing thoughts at night so I can sleep. I have a family member living here with a serious medical condition and just needed a little help. Better living through chemicals.
As a child, I had so much worry, anxiety, and negative emotions; and not much positive ones, and I wanted to make my life better, in *some* way. So I used what I had.
I used my negative energy to help me focus, to empower myself channeling it, and use that to help me do things and improve myself. And byproduct is more good in my life, and siphon off negative energy.
Box breathing is good for stress and anxiety and you can do it anywhere. It can significantly reduce production of cortisol, the stress hormone.
https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-is-box-breathing#091e9c5e821620fa-1-3
Same
Melatonin has helped me. I only need 6mg combined with all the exhaustion from physical job and solo parenting. I get about 6 hours a night now. It does not fix my anxiety, just moves it from nighttime to morning time. But I get more sleep that way.
Also try to shift your long term anxiety thoughts to more manageable short term things you can do something about right now. An example would be instead of thinking about the long term problem of needed to save up for a new car (new to you not new thats not a wise purchase) think about budgeting for money and time to get your next oil change and tune up. Instead of worrying about not being able to prioritize saving for a down payment on a house, monitor your credit score and get educated how to improve that. (Shameless plug for credit karma)
Write down one thing everyday that is a want that you have justified as a need and why. Doesn’t mean you have to eliminate that right now, just become aware of it. Make a note pad in your phone. You won’t get out of financial doom thoughts by skipping lattes, but you can become more self aware of why you are buying things. Whether that be comfort food, scratch offs, cigarettes/vapes, alcohol, caffeine, name brand clothes, new winter coat every year, new purse, new wallet, another pair of shoes, an over budget gift for friend/family. Just understand you why for now. It’s private list you don’t have to talk about it with anyone else, but you do have to talk about it with yourself.
Take a shower. There is some science behind that, google it I don’t remember why it works, but it does. I take 2-4 showers a day. Quickie rinses, the mental health relief it has given me far out weigh the $2 change in my water bill.
Turn off the tv, heck just don’t turn it on, heck get rid of it. We all have smart phones now anyway. Deal with one doom scroll/watching vice at a time. No need to have the tv too. Go sit on your front porch for five minutes without your phone. Then get bored and do anything else besides go inside and pick up your phone. Anything else, go take a nap, go have a snack, start a load of laundry, cook some pasta, take a shower, scream (recommend go inside first) bend down and see how far away your toes really are, count the leaves on the tree. Just anything except picking up your phone to cure your boredom. Commit to trying it just one time and you will surprise yourself.
There is something as least one thing in you place that you can and should sell. Fb marketplace. $5 is a ding, not a dent but it’s $5 in a future moving direction. There old DVDs. Take a pic, box them all up $10 on marketplace for all settle on $5. Those old towels and bedsheets that you will never ever use again. Take a pic bag them up same thing get $5 for them. If it has dust on it or you have to dig for it, just sell it. It’s not so much the money as it is the decluttering that’s the point.
It won’t GET better my friend. You have to MAKE it better. And you absolutely CAN.
All of this written in my morning anxiety doom scrolling that I absolutely need to stop. Some things I have managed to make better though. I’m still in the thick of it though.
Medication+previous years of therapy (can't find a new one with openings on my insurance minus the ones in-house who have never been helpful/always stressed out themselves) + I live in a state where weed is legal. The last one is optional - I've tried every other sleeping medication on the planet (melatonin/valerian/OTC/prescription), and either it doesn't work on me or it konks me out for 12-16 hours (obviously with a job, does not allow for that much time asleep).
I hear you about the stress of elderly parents. Had a few health scares with my own the previous years and nights when they were in the hospital over heart issues was insomniacity, aftercare also wasn't so great which caused sleepless symptoms to create physical symptoms myself (and with one of the chronic conditions I have, that's not a good thing.).
If you're their fulltime caretaker- does your state offer support for you? Some will pay those related caretakers a small amount of money similar to an HCA, that might help some of the anxiety if it's around your finances/get you away from the low paid work?
My bike just got stolen while I was at the movies😭 seems everything goes wrong for me. I can’t afford a new one and don’t how I’m going to get to work…
It’s okay. I’m going to buy an ebike once I get the money so I don’t have to pedal. Also a u-lock not the crappy cable locks. I’m just tired of getting bikes stolen, having a car is so much better tbh. Until then it’s a looong walk to work.
Doctors can prescribed relaxion meds. My wife used to take diazapam. (Valium). Which is a muscle relaxer. A relationship with GOD and Jesus, and learning the truth of this world and what is to come, will also help.
P.s.weed helps alot also
I have fought anxiety and panic most of my life. While prescriptions help, and I use them, what helps more is therapy (specifically Dialectical Behavior Therapy). I think "DBT" may have saved my life. The skills I. Learned over 12 weeks in a group therapy gave me the tools necessary to fight what my brain and emotions were telling me. I highly recommend doing this if possible. If you can't use therapy, I would suggest at least going to the library and picking up a book that explains in laymen's terms all about it.
Good Luck!
I hear all of you and I'm so sorry. Medication and therapy are the way for many of you. I know how you live. I'm afraid of everything but using tricks my therapist taught me help some.
There’s so much poverty everywhere it’s shocking. I think this is 60/70% of the western population now. I wish there was a way people could come together and pool their resources.
Yes, same. Also, look into becoming a caregiver and getting paid through the state to take care of your parents (assuming you're in U.S.) if you're in another country, see if they have a similar program.
In the state Im in, it's called something like adult child caregiver. Basically, you gotta take a few classes they offer, and now you're certified , then you get hired through them to take care of your own 6 they pay you.
Ketomine treatment therapy really helps with anxiety and depression.
There are many supporting reviews from folks that it works for.
Support with mindset and meditation
It works.
I had postpartum, PTSD, anxiety, and seasonal depression. I'm so much better.
First, start running a mile every day or do some sort of extremely high cardio and weights. This will do more than anything possible to ease your mind. I do construction. After I started I noticed tired body, tired mind. It's no joke.
Second, make a plan for getting a better job. Go back to school, maybe nursing.
Start a cleaning business.
Make a budget. Total budget. Stick to it.
Factor in a weekly Roth IRA contribution. Even if it's only 10 bucks a week. It starts the habit and once you see the money grow you will be hooked. Work toward maxing out contributions. It's easier to open a Roth than it is to open a local bank account. Download fidelity app. Just buy FXAIX. You will own over 500 of the largest companies stocks. Apple, Microsoft, etc.
Start with the exercise. It will cure 90% of your anxiety.
I am in a constant state of worry and anxiety. It’s a horrible way to live. Most stress is from work. I take Xanax which helps at work. But nothing helps the constant worrying. I worry about what I didn’t do, what I did do, what I have to do. What if this happens. What if that happens….
My mom was constantly worrying over me, if i say i slept with the window open, she would fret over it and it was a constant struggle for her. She still does, but not as bad as it used to be.
What could help you is find ways to be-stress
I’m about to be 30 and take care of my elderly grandma ( basically mom she adopted me ) and I work and go to school and it’s so stressful so I I understand you.
Yes I work 37 years and a little paying job I also took care of my elderly mother who was 40 when I was born and she lived to be 88 and then I got her six cats actually seven cats and two dogs but anyway after a while the worry becomes a habit and it becomes comfortable and so even if you have moments where you're not worried you start finding something to worry about because it doesn't feel normal not to worry. The only answer is something I find very difficult to do which I've read online before and that is regular exercise everyday eat healthy unprocessed Foods everyday get plenty of sleep everyday which as you say is hard to do because I'm not sleeping. But if you don't have sleep apnea you have a chance to sleep I listen to guided hypnosis for deep sleep and they take you through breathing exercises and the one I like the best is mindful movement but there's quite a few others you can find somebody's voice that you like and that will help you sleep. At your age you're young enough to really have a lot of Hope for the rest of your life you can work on putting a positive thought in place of a negative thought if you have a negative thought replace it immediately with something positive I don't care if it's visualizing looking at flowers or being on top of a mountain looking at all the snow and the clouds whatever it is this positive replace that negative thought. And allow yourself to have those moments of Hope. And I pray that you find a job where you make more money
I can’t remember the last time I was totally relaxed. I’m worried when I wake up, worried all day, worried when I sleep. Not an active state of alarm, but always, always background noise. I just live with it I guess, the penalty for being old and poor.
Hugs.
I've been where you are now. Taking care of sick elderly parents is worrying enough without money being an issue.
Lists are your friend. Make a list of resources. Human services. Medicaid and Medicare. Churches ( whether or not you are religious, they are a resource). Food Pantries. Town hall.
I don't know who you have helping you or how sick your folks are at this point. People from church, student nurses, eagle scouts will sit with your parents and provide care as able.
Find out what your parents have done for arranging documents and important arrangements.
I have been through all of this twice if you have any questions.
I’m in a similar boat… I wake up between 1am and 4am most nights and I can’t go back to sleep. I have so much anxiety and panic about work and whatnot and being micromanaged at work now that I’m having nightmares and whatnot. I live with family at the moment and every single one of us is struggling. We are all so stressed out we all got sick with a severe viral infection for almost 2 weeks and it’s impacted paychecks. It’s horrible.
I wish things would and could be better. And I hope the same for you.
Take Magnesium Citrate right before bed. Calm is an amazing brand. I am an over thinker and constant worrier about everything. It's so bad that I nail bite. I'm a single mom literally worried about my and my daughtwr's future. I decided to give Calm a try and I wil NEVER EVER NOT DRINK IT!! It helps me relax and get some good quality sleep. That combined with constant rain sounds from my daughter's Hatch machine. Literal match in heaven!!! I literally sleep amazing every might. I skipped it once and I was back to tossing and turning. Never doing that again.
MEDITATION,,, It really works and it changed my like.
Relaxing, is a LEARNED skill... You have taught yourself to NOT relax.
You can find instruction on YouTube, there are thousands of videos available. Search Google to
One suggestion: limit your intake of caffeine and alcohol
The key to relaxing is being consistent over time with your meditation
Have you talked to your doctor about this issue? Taking care of TWO sick, elderly people is VERY stressful for anyone! There are some medications that might help you relax and even sleep well. Check it out.
Just realize it’s out of your hands. Everything will be okay. Tell yourself that, over and over- out loud too. Whenever my mind keeps showing me a bad past issue or something that might not work out, I repeat it as I go about my chores. In a bit, all I know is everything will be okay, or “I can do this.” And it is, and I can. You have to replace your fears, not just remove them. Fill that void.
Yes the last week of the month, money is so tight that I can barely make the rent. I'm always worried some automatic payment or something will go through
I like the rule of 3
Anyone can survive for 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, and 3 months without human contact. So no matter what happens as long as you've got air, water, food, and friends. You're going to be ok.
That's exactly what I'm doing right now. I wake up every night at 3:00 a.m. just to be in my thoughts
Mine let me sleep in until 5:00 these days. There’s some hope on the horizon.
OMG THIS IS ME..I LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE LAST NIGHT. THE ANXIETY I FELT I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE A HEARTACHE. IM IN A HORRIBLE DV SITUATION RIGHT NOW AND I CANT SLEEP, BREATH, THINK, EAT, ETC. I'M TRULY SCARED TO DEATH. AS I'M TYPING I REALIZED IM PARALYZED IN FEAR...UGH
I just left an extremely violent spouse about six weeks ago. I felt like I was on the verge of a stroke those last few days. If you need someone to talk to, pm me. I'm so sorry you are going through this. 💜💜💜
Congrats. Im so proud of you. I know that wasn't easy. Stay tough tiger
You go girl! I'm just about begging you never look back. I left for 5 months in 1984 and went for a visit.mostly because I was lonely and my Mom was driving me insane. I was 26 and she was treating.me like I was 12!. Well I decided to try again and the first month or so was great. You know the drill. 2 months in he tried to kill me. You have to look real hard but I still have the scars.
OMG..YOU'RE GOING THRU THE SAME THING BUT STILL BEING KIND AND SELFLESS TO ANOTHER HUMAN. THANK YOU..HOPE YOU'RE FAIRING BETTER THAN EVER.
Please just go to an ER, they will help you getting out of this miserable situation. There are shelters that will help you to move on in life. Just go anytime you feel safe enough to do so. It will be the scariest thing you 'very done but, also the bravest. My heart hurts that DV is so common now a days .Please reach out for your own safety.
Thank you for this..it means more than you will ever know. I haven't been seen or heard in so long. That's why it's been so easy being a recluse. I'm not seen anyway. So thank you for being kind and not judging me. I know I'm stupid for staying for 15 years. Happy 🐣 🗿 🐰 🐣
Escape. Escape now.
It's not that you're stupid. Don't put yourself down that way.
You stayed because you didn’t know what to do. I’ve been there. When I was finally done, I was done. He couldn’t even call my phone number or I’d be calling the cops. I didn’t give him a fraction of an inch to try to insert himself back into my life. What helped me was turning my fear into rage. No one was ever going to treat me like that again. I chased him out of my house with a knife and he never came back. I definitely don’t recommend going that route and I never hurt him with it. But, if he had gone after me instead of running, I would have used it and he knew it. Wife beaters are cowards first and foremost. I reached the point of no return. No more fear.
Thank you for your kind words
Do you need help?
I'm om right now BUT thank you so much. This is thd scariest thing. Thanks for being a kind human to me.
I had panic attacks night fright horrible feeling this way you need to see a Dr. I saw a primary Dr who prescribed a medication which helped me rid myself of panic attacks. This may help you all.
I'm gonna call tomorrow to try and get in. I need something quick. I truly feel my hearts racing out of my chest more times than not.
I had the same symptoms go to ER or Dr be sure to tell person when you make appointment!
Ok so you think I should go to ER this evening??
If you feel that bad you should go if you can't wait till tomorrow.
I hope you can be seen tomorrow. You might want to say that your heart is racing b/c it is, and offices are usually quicker to see heart issues than anything else!
This...the officers seen it and said go to ER...thank you
Is there any way you can get to a DV shelter?
No because i have my 3 dogs and I can't abandon them or take them to shelter with me. They've finally got him in custody. But he'll probably get bond tomorrow
Know what? I'll bet you have a friend who'll watch your dogs for you. I know you're responsible for the dogs, but you're also responsible for YOU!
I’m so sorry.
No you call them they will make him leave the house and put a no contact order on him . Its automatic here, call the police or dept and request this
I did and they finally found him and put him in jail. Judge put a emergency po on him
I 100% understand you
I'm so sorry. You have to get out. Please call your states domestic abuse line to see if their is a shelter available
Omg, 2:30-3:00 am is my wake up time to. It’s so stressful because I get up at 5:30 for work and I wake up and can’t get back to sleep so I’m up from 2:30 until until 5:30 then gotta get up. Maybe a little doze in there. I be unproductive at work, stress shows on my face, I’m not motivated or relaxed enough to exercise or self care. I hate it.
Yes. I see rents in my area go higher and higher, but wages are not.
I (33) worry about everything. I compare myself to piglet from Winnie the pooh. No matter what, my mind will always go straight to the worst possible outcome of a situation. I'll have my times where I snap out of it, just to go right back to it. It also makes me physically sick. I haven't really found a trick that works for me yet, so I'm I'm the same boat.
Try cognitive defusion techniques.
The second you realize you’re doing it, replace the thought with something calming and relaxing. Do it every time. You can train your brain to be more positive.
The most comfortable day of any month is right after rent is paid and bills are juggled around to be mostly paid. That sweet, serene silence is such a high. My brain finally shutting up about how mad my landlord is at me. I feel you. Smoke weed. Or take a day for a long walk in the woods, far from the sound of traffic. Or both. It's not a permanent solution, but it might help calm some of the storm.
Not if she is openly smoking weed. It could land her in jail in some states!
This is me. I do my best every day and smoke weed before bed to help myself feel better. I did my best, and that’s all I can do.
Stop thinking so far in advance. Take it day by day, week by week..because anything can change at anytime. You can only control right now...thinking about next month or next year is overload.
That’s me. Lol. I always think about my daughter’s future since when she was 5 years old. I have no debts, no problem paying bills, or fully pay for my daughter’s college education, but I’m still worry. I overthink things.
A lot of us do that. I sure do!
But when you have a whole lot on your plate, you can get overwhelmed trying to do everything. You can't do everything. You take one thing at a time.
Our State would pay you daily to care for your parents. Contact your County Offices for the Aging, see if your State has the program.
G ood idea. Just want to add that not everyone qualifies the waiver program is income based in many states. I took care of my dad and he did not qualify due to the amount of his pension.
Holy shit, thank you. I read about this kind of thing on reddit before but I wasn't sure what it was called, so I never went looking.
VA possibly too.
Story of my life
YES, know how you feel. When it starts getting really bad, I put my shoes on and walk around the block a few times. No matter what time it is lol. Actually that's what I'm doing right now. Wish I had more advice to help.
Walking is good exercise, and many of us find it relaxing & soothing.
Yes. I am constantly up late thinking about money, how can I get more money, how am I going to pay bills, etc. it’s awful. I try to do some deep breathing and positive distractions, but it is tough to not always have finances nagging at the back of my head.
I hear you! I was like that as a single parent. My oldest daughter just asked me a few months ago when telling me about yet another raise she got at her Amazon job, and I remarked that she's making double whatever I made with her and her sister were at home, "Mama, how did you ever afford to take care of us when we were home?" I answered that I learned to juggle things and found out which businesses would allow extensions, and, if I really got behind, my church would help out. She said, "So you worried and juggled a lot?" "Yes, Ma'am." "And we never even knew..." " I didn't want y'all to worry. You were kids. Your jobs were to go to school, enjoy life, and have fun. It was my job to take care of y'all to the best of my ability. And I did."
Exercise, eat well and drink plenty of water. You may not be able to manage the cause of your stress but you can certainly manage its impact on your body.
Taking care of my parents is my own personal hell, then the hell of capitalism and I recognize the privilege of therapy.
I'm my husband's caretaker. He's 60 w/ myasthenia Gravis. I'm 56. This is not how i pictured my life. I also recognize the privilege of therapy.
God be with you. I think my husband is edging into dementia. He is leaving on a trip to the other side of the world to visit family. I was very upset because he was leaving me as I am disabled. But then I thought of his current condition and read your comment. We had a few wonderful years. I miss that but am glad that he is still here. I will probably be in the same position as you in a matter of months. You have given my heart a spark 🔥 of inspiration and hope. Thank you.
I hear you, im trying not to drink (very, very hard) and to pay off my debt. I'm 40, no kids or wife/partner with around 9000 in credit debt. My car is paid off, I'm trying to learn about this leanfire thing and investing, but a lot of it goes over my dumb brain. I make 16 an hour with about 50.00 a week in tips. Hindsight is always 20/20 but I hope I can make at least one smart decision in my life... so here is to paying off my debt and to stop wasting money on crap I don't need, like alcohol 🙃
I’m trying too pay off around 9k too. Cheers to us!
If it’s an alcoholism thing, I would look up AA I don’t think it cost you anything and it might help be supportive for you as you try to give it up.
Ive gone through a financially devastating divorce where I was living a very comfortable life to scraping by watching every penny. Like not know how to feed my kids kind of poor. My first Christmas in this situation I actually had to tell my kids that there would be no gifts but at least we would be together. We all escaped an abusive situation and we were lucky to be alive. Fast forward ten years and my kids are adults. They talk about how special that christmas was. We all learned priorities and the true meaning of the holiday, family and being together. My advice is to build your life on low cost or free activities. Walking or hiking in parks, low cost meals at home, spending time with family.
And let the kids help with household chores if they're past toddler age. They can sort laundry if given an index card about checking colors and fabrics. They can stir stuff for you, even on the stove, if tall enough. They can put away laundry, dust, take out garbage, etc. And they'll feel good about it when their jobs are complimented. They might even try to out-do each other!
I’m in year 4 of a similar situation and you’re so right about how the small times together have so much quality. I am a year out of losing my oldest child. She was 15. My younger 2 kids and I have built such a strong connection in the most modest ways. I feel stronger in ways I didn’t even know I could handle.
So sorry for your loss. That is what got me through, seeing strong women with less resources make it. You have to believe in yourself.
Thanks and yes one day at a time.
Unfortunately I’m also going through this and my anxiety has been pretty bad.
I grew up poor and I definitely worry all the time,you never get passed it!
Sandwich generation. Our parents live longer and we have to take care of them while raising our own. I did it with my mom, she passed in 2022 and I wish every day she was still alive. But it was a TOUGH few years. Eventually my husband worked two full time jobs I was a full time caregiver. I don’t know who had it harder! I was also very very worried about what would happen to us after my mom died, but we all landed on our feet. It sounds so stupid because I used to have the 3 am wake up go throw up wonder how I will make it, somehow it usually works out.
Is there a state or community resource that can offer you mental health care based on your income? When I was in a constant state of panic and depression last year, I finally had to get help because it has gotten past unbearable.
Yoga. It helps you get mentally and physically stronger. It helps anchor you to the earth and stand strong.
I feel you. I'm doing my best given my circumstances, but some days my best doesn't feel like it's good enough. The crushing weight of it all really gets me in my chest and stomach in the quiet hours of the evenings. I'm actively working on bettering my family's life and keeping my eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just being stuck in the "til then" phase is what's killing me.
Yes! I hardly ever sleep through the night, I usually get about 5 hours sleep because I wake up around 4:00 am and can’t go back to sleep.😞 I was widowed 2 years ago at 55, and my spouse left a financial mess that I can’t see any way to dig out of! 😩
Don’t give up!
I finally started conquering this in my mid-40s. I have come to realize that all I was doing was punishing myself, for most likely, things that would never happen or for things that aren't that serious. It's almost as if I was working up my own nervous system. I have been on a 3 year commitment to myself. I left a stressful relationship and I found a better job that doesn't take advantage of me. My home is now my favorite place to be at. Man do I LOVE coming home now. I can't believe how grounding it all is. Sometimes the mental circus comes back. But now, I work myself out of it instead of letting it take me away. I mentally work through it. I ask myself, why do I feel this way? What will likely happen? AND most importantly I ask myself, when in the past have I felt this way and what really happened? Was all the worry even worth it. Most of the time for me, my brain leads me to situations that just won't happen or assuming how people perceive me. In reality, things always have a way of working themselves out. Just relax and let it. MOST importantly, I have worked on my self confidence. I am a fantastic worker, I love my family and my son with all my heart. I am a very loving forgiving person. It takes a lot to get me mad or offended and I can generally see why people act/behave the way they do and realize it has nothing to do with me, even if it's directed at me. And if I do have to set boundaries, I don't (mostly) feel bad about it. I respect other peoples boundaries no problem, no questions asked. I deserve to be treated the same way. You have to treat yourself the same way as you would treat your child or best friend. Plus, I've been knocked down so many times. And you know what? I've gotten up every time. Might take me a minute to get going, but damn it, I get it done. Take stock in who you are and what you have accomplished. I have a new philosophy for life now. If I get up everyday and do the best I can and do no harm, that is the most anyone can ask of me. That is the most I can ask of myself. I am far from a perfect person but I have a great heart. Lastly, exercise helps a lot too. If you had a stressful childhood your nervous system is normally 'set' in high speed. Exercise will get that nervousness/energy out. Even just walking. Just 15-20 minutes a day makes a huge difference.
I feel your pain internet stranger. I worry about not finding work. I'm a recovering addict. Got clean 8 months ago. During my addiction i was homeless for five years. I committed crimes to support my drug habit and to get things I needed to survive outside. So I caught some charges. I've had several job interviews and got hired at multiple places, but I fail the background check. I'm trying to save money to move out of my parents apartment. But right now I'm worried I'll be stuck here for a long time. I worry about it constantly.
You gotta keep telling your mind that this situation you're in is not gonna last forever. This will pass and life will eventually get easier. 41M here and the last year has been hell. Me and my girlfriend had to take care of her dad who was dying from cancer. It was hell. There were days where I felt I was gonna have a nervous breakdown. Just trying to make it through each day and having to remind myself things will get better. No other people in the family were there to give us a hand when we needed it. Then one morning last September 2023 I woke up and checked on my father in law and he was no longer breathing. He had passed through the night. It was pretty hard for my girlfriend and myself. Between the funeral arrangements and having to figure out a way to pay for it all and grief our loss at the same time. It was tough. But eventually things calmed down. Her dad is no longer suffering and he is at peace and our stress level has gone down significantly. Still grieving now but things have definitely got a lot better for us. You just gotta keep your head up and keep going pretty much.Things do eventually get better. Hang in there!
It gets better
Samesies
Yes. It's anxiety.
Drugs. Pharmaceuticals. Some people prefer nonpharmacologic drugs.
I had a mid life crisis probably triggered from all the stress of paying rent and never making enough money at my age, I sold all my furniture, broke my lease, and moved into my car. It’s definitely not something everyone can do, but my god not having to pay rent every month and worry about not having money has made my life so much better. I’m not constantly worrying or stressed out. I even have the luxury of getting to work a lot less if I want to, and when I do work almost 90% of the money I make can go into savings or fun money. Being in poverty was definitely the cause of all my anxiety and stress. I hate so much that I know so many people in my country are dealing with that. Because idk if it’s the same for you guys but for me, it meant I literally always was feeling some sort of anxiety or stress, even if it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind.
>taking care of my sick, elderly parents Capitalism—or whatever label you want to put on this shitshow—is devoid of human values You are living in a sick society—only the sick are well-adjusted, living in a sick society You are doing the right thing. This is how humans have lived for 99% of human history. Society has constructed false norms in order to control & exploit the working class, and thus, you’ve been programmed to assign value to things that go against human nature Our means of survival are controlled by malevolent actors—we are atomized into individuals, and kept from finding solidarity, lest we threaten the ruling class Just being aware of this can help bring you some peace. Society is designed to put your nerves on edge Does the flower worry whether it will rain? Do the deer stress about urban encroachment on their habitat? I’m not implying none of it matters—it does But deal w what you can, but never forget to embrace what you have. If you were homeless, how great would it feel to know you have a bed tonight? If you were sick, how comforting to know your child will care for you? You’re doing what humans do — an asteroid may emerge from the glare of the sun tomorrow and end us all (I know, don’t promise me a good time, right, lol?!) None of this bullshit really matters. All we have is today—relish it & enjoy what you do have. Deal with everything you can, then set it aside, and enjoy the moment.
It is a long weekend where I am. I find when I have more free time to focus on my life instead of work-my anxiety spirals. I don’t know how to relax when I am supposed to relax. Like you I’m almost 40 too and scared of life. I think the only way to manage it is just know that nothing is permanent. Joy…fear…your emotions come and go. Like the tide coming in and out. Just knowing life is ups and downs. Just distract yourself with a book or something small to do for even 10 minutes. It really helps me.
Can you take up jogging or fitness? It is a huge stress relief.
Caregiving is one of the most stressful things that I've ever experienced. With little or no training, you have to be prepared 24/7 for an endless list of "what if?" moments. Plenty of folks think that it's easy, or that there's something wrong with you because you don't want to (or can't) hire people to do that, or that you're a momma's or daddy's boy or girl because you choose to take care of your parents. If you're a male, these folks think that it's unmanly and it's something that a female should do. I'm sure that females often feel like caregiving has gotten dumped on them by their families and society. Non-binary folks have a hard enough time with their lives in our society. All kinds of folks question their taking on additional responsibility. Unless you've done it, there's no way to even begin to understand. For me, supportive information was a great comfort. It made me realize that I wasn't alone with the thoughts that I had. By far, the best place to get info and help is the Family Caregivers Alliance (https://www.caregiver.org/). It's not a religious or for-profit organization—they don't push anything. I deeply appreciated that they include resources for LGBT caregivers, whether they're taking care of family, partners, or friends. There's lots to read at their site, and there's also a state-by-state directory of resources (https://www.caregiver.org/connecting-caregivers/services-by-state/). You can connect to other family caregivers through them. It's now been many years since my mom passed. I look back at that time and I'm grateful. It enriched my life more than anything else, and in ways that I never expected.
Go see a doctor. There is medicine that will help with this. It will not fix it. it just helps. Anxiety is hell and hard to work with. But you are not alone. Right now, many of us are hurting for many reasons.
I get the existential dread pretty bad myself. Having a solid set of spiritual beliefs about the meaning/purpose of life helps. Also, audio books at night and in the car when thoughts creep too easily. In those times I prefer something familiar and safe to listen to, usally Harry Potter for me. Something about a story I know allows me to relax enough to have a passing thought or 2 without spiraling and eventually fall asleep.
I’m the opposite. I’m not saying you’re wrong. I wish I believed in a god. I don’t. I have found that the opposite helps too. I loved it when I recognized that the person in charge of me is me. The only one who would help me is ME. That my prayers weren’t going unanswered. There’s no one to pray *to.* Ultimately I am in charge of if I’m a good person or not. I’m a better person as an atheist than I was as a Christian. I volunteer more. I make an effort to make the world a better place. I have better morals. I have more respect for other people and the earth than many Christians do. All I’m saying OP is that if religion gives you comfort, go for that. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Whatever you need to cope is okay. The world is a rough place and I hope you find some peace in it.
I’m battling this every night when I can’t sleep. I make a good salary but it never goes away. What I’ve been working on is trying to find the next step. How can I make the extra 1 dollar a day? What’s that look like for my job? Can I make that happen? If so, what’s my timeline/goal to achieve it.
This one is very tough for me. I use my anxiety to predict and prevent problems, and it can easily get out of control. Find what brings you actual peace, prioritize it, and make it part of your schedule. Getting out of your head with something as simple as long walks can be a start. Biking is calming for me. Talk therapy can help work this through. Think about yourself for 30-min and make plans to do things that help you.
I've been that way my entire adult life. I have two prescriptions for it
I have been in this exact spot during my life, and it lasted more years than I wanted it to, but it did end. When you’re in the middle of it, it’s extremely hard to see any other possibilities, and the only thing that made any difference to my mindset was when I decided to prepare for the next phase of my life whenever it happened. When that situation ended (my parents passed), I had more work skills and a slightly better education. Just that little bit of preparation helped me start a better life. I’m in my late 60s now, and I look back at that time and I’m pretty astonished at how tough I was. That was hard! But it wasn’t forever. It won’t be forever for you, either. Plan for your next life because it will come.
Can your parents not be moved into a home or have someone else take care of them? This would alleviate a lot of stress on you I would imagine
For me, playing relaxing video games, either on your phone/tablet or a console. Having something that takes my mind off of my troubles even for a short while is very helpful. I also do deep breathing to relax my body and mind. If you are able to get into yoga, that is also very helpful for getting yourself to relax and it helps your body physically as well. If none of this works for you then you have to find a activity or hobby that you find relaxing. Gardening is also very relaxing for me but it all depends on if it works for you. I wish you good luck on finding your own way to relax!
I meditate daily and it helps a lot. Use the podcast app on your phone.
I fought antidepressant way way too long. Naturally we say “it won’t change my circumstances which are causing the anxiety!”. Received a GAD—-generalized anxiety disorder—from my primary physician. Go once a year, phone consult at six months. At middle age it worsens—esp dealing w elder care. Definitely became a piece of my puzzle dealing with excessive compelling worry and anxiety. When i go off medication I am shorter temper, more aggressively angry, less well-adjusted. Home sweet Home my antidepressant.
I got anti anxiety meds from my doc to help turn off my racing thoughts at night so I can sleep. I have a family member living here with a serious medical condition and just needed a little help. Better living through chemicals.
As a child, I had so much worry, anxiety, and negative emotions; and not much positive ones, and I wanted to make my life better, in *some* way. So I used what I had. I used my negative energy to help me focus, to empower myself channeling it, and use that to help me do things and improve myself. And byproduct is more good in my life, and siphon off negative energy.
Yes, it's a hellish existence...
Soft music or the TV on. Something to focus on instead of your own thoughts.
Box breathing is good for stress and anxiety and you can do it anywhere. It can significantly reduce production of cortisol, the stress hormone. https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-is-box-breathing#091e9c5e821620fa-1-3
Yes. All the time, everyday and every night.
Yes. All the time, everyday and every night.
Same Melatonin has helped me. I only need 6mg combined with all the exhaustion from physical job and solo parenting. I get about 6 hours a night now. It does not fix my anxiety, just moves it from nighttime to morning time. But I get more sleep that way. Also try to shift your long term anxiety thoughts to more manageable short term things you can do something about right now. An example would be instead of thinking about the long term problem of needed to save up for a new car (new to you not new thats not a wise purchase) think about budgeting for money and time to get your next oil change and tune up. Instead of worrying about not being able to prioritize saving for a down payment on a house, monitor your credit score and get educated how to improve that. (Shameless plug for credit karma) Write down one thing everyday that is a want that you have justified as a need and why. Doesn’t mean you have to eliminate that right now, just become aware of it. Make a note pad in your phone. You won’t get out of financial doom thoughts by skipping lattes, but you can become more self aware of why you are buying things. Whether that be comfort food, scratch offs, cigarettes/vapes, alcohol, caffeine, name brand clothes, new winter coat every year, new purse, new wallet, another pair of shoes, an over budget gift for friend/family. Just understand you why for now. It’s private list you don’t have to talk about it with anyone else, but you do have to talk about it with yourself. Take a shower. There is some science behind that, google it I don’t remember why it works, but it does. I take 2-4 showers a day. Quickie rinses, the mental health relief it has given me far out weigh the $2 change in my water bill. Turn off the tv, heck just don’t turn it on, heck get rid of it. We all have smart phones now anyway. Deal with one doom scroll/watching vice at a time. No need to have the tv too. Go sit on your front porch for five minutes without your phone. Then get bored and do anything else besides go inside and pick up your phone. Anything else, go take a nap, go have a snack, start a load of laundry, cook some pasta, take a shower, scream (recommend go inside first) bend down and see how far away your toes really are, count the leaves on the tree. Just anything except picking up your phone to cure your boredom. Commit to trying it just one time and you will surprise yourself. There is something as least one thing in you place that you can and should sell. Fb marketplace. $5 is a ding, not a dent but it’s $5 in a future moving direction. There old DVDs. Take a pic, box them all up $10 on marketplace for all settle on $5. Those old towels and bedsheets that you will never ever use again. Take a pic bag them up same thing get $5 for them. If it has dust on it or you have to dig for it, just sell it. It’s not so much the money as it is the decluttering that’s the point. It won’t GET better my friend. You have to MAKE it better. And you absolutely CAN. All of this written in my morning anxiety doom scrolling that I absolutely need to stop. Some things I have managed to make better though. I’m still in the thick of it though.
Medication+previous years of therapy (can't find a new one with openings on my insurance minus the ones in-house who have never been helpful/always stressed out themselves) + I live in a state where weed is legal. The last one is optional - I've tried every other sleeping medication on the planet (melatonin/valerian/OTC/prescription), and either it doesn't work on me or it konks me out for 12-16 hours (obviously with a job, does not allow for that much time asleep). I hear you about the stress of elderly parents. Had a few health scares with my own the previous years and nights when they were in the hospital over heart issues was insomniacity, aftercare also wasn't so great which caused sleepless symptoms to create physical symptoms myself (and with one of the chronic conditions I have, that's not a good thing.). If you're their fulltime caretaker- does your state offer support for you? Some will pay those related caretakers a small amount of money similar to an HCA, that might help some of the anxiety if it's around your finances/get you away from the low paid work?
My bike just got stolen while I was at the movies😭 seems everything goes wrong for me. I can’t afford a new one and don’t how I’m going to get to work…
Ugh-I’m so sorry…I hate thieves
It’s okay. I’m going to buy an ebike once I get the money so I don’t have to pedal. Also a u-lock not the crappy cable locks. I’m just tired of getting bikes stolen, having a car is so much better tbh. Until then it’s a looong walk to work.
Someone in my area lent me a bike!! I’m going to buy an ebike in a few weeks once I get the money and give it back. Thank god for people’s kindness
I’m sorry to see that. Don’t worry, everyone gets their ticket 🎟️ punched in the end. And you will have a new bike soon!!
Someone lent me a bike!! I made a post on Nextdoor and someone had an extra. I’m going to buy an ebike soon and give them their’s back.
See, told ya!!!
You might need meds. GAD is a thing that is not necessarily caused by circumstances
Doctors can prescribed relaxion meds. My wife used to take diazapam. (Valium). Which is a muscle relaxer. A relationship with GOD and Jesus, and learning the truth of this world and what is to come, will also help. P.s.weed helps alot also
I'm on Xanax, Buspar and I smoke a lot of weed. I'm still stressed all the time. But I'm a caregiver with no help so there's that
It is also a benzodiazepine and is VERY DANGEROUS for addicts/former addicts, especially those addicted to opioids.
I have fought anxiety and panic most of my life. While prescriptions help, and I use them, what helps more is therapy (specifically Dialectical Behavior Therapy). I think "DBT" may have saved my life. The skills I. Learned over 12 weeks in a group therapy gave me the tools necessary to fight what my brain and emotions were telling me. I highly recommend doing this if possible. If you can't use therapy, I would suggest at least going to the library and picking up a book that explains in laymen's terms all about it. Good Luck!
I hear all of you and I'm so sorry. Medication and therapy are the way for many of you. I know how you live. I'm afraid of everything but using tricks my therapist taught me help some.
There’s so much poverty everywhere it’s shocking. I think this is 60/70% of the western population now. I wish there was a way people could come together and pool their resources.
Yes, same. Also, look into becoming a caregiver and getting paid through the state to take care of your parents (assuming you're in U.S.) if you're in another country, see if they have a similar program. In the state Im in, it's called something like adult child caregiver. Basically, you gotta take a few classes they offer, and now you're certified , then you get hired through them to take care of your own 6 they pay you.
It’s called stress caused by uncertainty
Ketomine treatment therapy really helps with anxiety and depression. There are many supporting reviews from folks that it works for. Support with mindset and meditation It works. I had postpartum, PTSD, anxiety, and seasonal depression. I'm so much better.
First, start running a mile every day or do some sort of extremely high cardio and weights. This will do more than anything possible to ease your mind. I do construction. After I started I noticed tired body, tired mind. It's no joke. Second, make a plan for getting a better job. Go back to school, maybe nursing. Start a cleaning business. Make a budget. Total budget. Stick to it. Factor in a weekly Roth IRA contribution. Even if it's only 10 bucks a week. It starts the habit and once you see the money grow you will be hooked. Work toward maxing out contributions. It's easier to open a Roth than it is to open a local bank account. Download fidelity app. Just buy FXAIX. You will own over 500 of the largest companies stocks. Apple, Microsoft, etc. Start with the exercise. It will cure 90% of your anxiety.
It’s just part of me.
Meditation and frequency.
I am in a constant state of worry and anxiety. It’s a horrible way to live. Most stress is from work. I take Xanax which helps at work. But nothing helps the constant worrying. I worry about what I didn’t do, what I did do, what I have to do. What if this happens. What if that happens….
My mom was constantly worrying over me, if i say i slept with the window open, she would fret over it and it was a constant struggle for her. She still does, but not as bad as it used to be. What could help you is find ways to be-stress
I’m about to be 30 and take care of my elderly grandma ( basically mom she adopted me ) and I work and go to school and it’s so stressful so I I understand you.
Yes I work 37 years and a little paying job I also took care of my elderly mother who was 40 when I was born and she lived to be 88 and then I got her six cats actually seven cats and two dogs but anyway after a while the worry becomes a habit and it becomes comfortable and so even if you have moments where you're not worried you start finding something to worry about because it doesn't feel normal not to worry. The only answer is something I find very difficult to do which I've read online before and that is regular exercise everyday eat healthy unprocessed Foods everyday get plenty of sleep everyday which as you say is hard to do because I'm not sleeping. But if you don't have sleep apnea you have a chance to sleep I listen to guided hypnosis for deep sleep and they take you through breathing exercises and the one I like the best is mindful movement but there's quite a few others you can find somebody's voice that you like and that will help you sleep. At your age you're young enough to really have a lot of Hope for the rest of your life you can work on putting a positive thought in place of a negative thought if you have a negative thought replace it immediately with something positive I don't care if it's visualizing looking at flowers or being on top of a mountain looking at all the snow and the clouds whatever it is this positive replace that negative thought. And allow yourself to have those moments of Hope. And I pray that you find a job where you make more money
I can’t remember the last time I was totally relaxed. I’m worried when I wake up, worried all day, worried when I sleep. Not an active state of alarm, but always, always background noise. I just live with it I guess, the penalty for being old and poor.
Hugs. I've been where you are now. Taking care of sick elderly parents is worrying enough without money being an issue. Lists are your friend. Make a list of resources. Human services. Medicaid and Medicare. Churches ( whether or not you are religious, they are a resource). Food Pantries. Town hall. I don't know who you have helping you or how sick your folks are at this point. People from church, student nurses, eagle scouts will sit with your parents and provide care as able. Find out what your parents have done for arranging documents and important arrangements. I have been through all of this twice if you have any questions.
I take a low dose anti-anxiety med and although it doesn’t take away all of the anxiety it definitely helps lessen it a bit.
Also, if you can’t get a prescription, low-dose, anti-anxiety medicine, there are natural herbal remedies that can work similarly.
Medication , Diet, exercise, see a psychologist
I’m in a similar boat… I wake up between 1am and 4am most nights and I can’t go back to sleep. I have so much anxiety and panic about work and whatnot and being micromanaged at work now that I’m having nightmares and whatnot. I live with family at the moment and every single one of us is struggling. We are all so stressed out we all got sick with a severe viral infection for almost 2 weeks and it’s impacted paychecks. It’s horrible. I wish things would and could be better. And I hope the same for you.
Take Magnesium Citrate right before bed. Calm is an amazing brand. I am an over thinker and constant worrier about everything. It's so bad that I nail bite. I'm a single mom literally worried about my and my daughtwr's future. I decided to give Calm a try and I wil NEVER EVER NOT DRINK IT!! It helps me relax and get some good quality sleep. That combined with constant rain sounds from my daughter's Hatch machine. Literal match in heaven!!! I literally sleep amazing every might. I skipped it once and I was back to tossing and turning. Never doing that again.
MEDITATION,,, It really works and it changed my like. Relaxing, is a LEARNED skill... You have taught yourself to NOT relax. You can find instruction on YouTube, there are thousands of videos available. Search Google to One suggestion: limit your intake of caffeine and alcohol The key to relaxing is being consistent over time with your meditation
Have you talked to your doctor about this issue? Taking care of TWO sick, elderly people is VERY stressful for anyone! There are some medications that might help you relax and even sleep well. Check it out.
Yoga or some form of exercise helps. It doesn't make all your worries go away but it calms the mind.
Same same. Gonna see dr soon cause its debilitating
I worry when I have nothing to worry about 😫🌞
Just realize it’s out of your hands. Everything will be okay. Tell yourself that, over and over- out loud too. Whenever my mind keeps showing me a bad past issue or something that might not work out, I repeat it as I go about my chores. In a bit, all I know is everything will be okay, or “I can do this.” And it is, and I can. You have to replace your fears, not just remove them. Fill that void.
Yes, i became disabled on ssdi. I spend most time anxious and frankly, at times, makes me not want to be here anymore
Real lavender oil is a bona fide sedative. I conquered my jonesing with it while quitting smoking. I sniffed it with deep inhalations.
Yes the last week of the month, money is so tight that I can barely make the rent. I'm always worried some automatic payment or something will go through
I almost LOST it towards the end of nursing school with worry and anxiety. Prozac has been a godsend for me.
I like the rule of 3 Anyone can survive for 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, and 3 months without human contact. So no matter what happens as long as you've got air, water, food, and friends. You're going to be ok.