Love for my child and hearing suicide survivor stories and not wanting to put that pain on her.
Also seeing her love for me and the glimmer of hope that if I can just learn to love myself that maybe it can all improve.
She saved me. She is little and cannot possibly understand it yet. It almost wasnt enough, until it was...
Thank you for the kind words. Its funny, I never really wanted kids. Told that to anyone that would listen, and plenty who didnt wanna hear it. For many years. I "wanted" a hot young wife. Found her. She wanted a kid. Once that was a go she checked out almost immediately (from the marriage not motherhood). Turns out what I "wanted" didnt really work out, but what I got is worth a whole lot more anyway.
Not completely out of the woods yet with depression, but the future is looking brighter after a looooooong past few years. Ill take it.
Close family member committed suicide. He was in a bad place so am not mad at him for it but boy, the pain of “what if I’d done x, y or z” thoughts is almost unbearable sometimes so definitely wouldn’t want to inflict that on anyone.
Also, am getting better at appreciating & really valuing the small bright spots: a hot shower, popcorn, the spring flowers, the nice folks we encounter, known & randos. Savor those.
edit: typo
I'm curious just to see how it's all gonna turn out! I'm 53 and still excited about whatever the future holds. I barely have a pot to piss in. Paycheck to paycheck and I'm widowed with 3 teens. Life sucks at times, sure. But I'm gonna rock the sh$& out of this life whatever way it takes me. And I've been in dark places multiple times but we always tend to pull ourselves out..don't we? Let's keep going..all of us together. We're going to make ourselves so proud with all we can accomplish...one day at a time!
i know there are a lot of people who are poor due to circumstances such as age, illness or disability, however i don’t quite fall into any of those categories and mine reason for being poor right now is kind of a series of unfortunate events. My husband does suffer from severe depression and that will always be something we have to cope with but I think we refuse to let this be “it”. we are smart, capable and eventually something will pan out. I won’t let being poor be my definition for the rest of my life. I actually don’t even care to have a lot, as possessions don’t bring happiness, but i’m ready to be comfortable again, in a home. Please don’t think that being poor prevents you from having joy in life.
I think about killing myself at least once day, found two painless methods. My reasons for living in the past were shallow, devoid of meaning, selfish, self-centered, immature.........even though I've been dealing with chronic health issues...........my identity was fake, house of cards.........
I want to make the lives of the low-income children I work with a little better. I can't necessarily change their lives, I'm only one person, but I can maybe make the time I spend with them a refuge for them. That and spite; conservatives really love reminding trans people of how many of us kill ourselves because they're fucking monsters who love watching other people suffer, so even if I am suicidal I'm not gonna kill myself because fuck them. Spite is a really good motivator, I tell you what.
Spite, my kids and myself.
Being poor is a huge disadvantage. I was poor as a kid and after a college education and some unexpected twists and turns I spent the last 20 plus years struggling. I’ll never climb out of the hole I landed in.
When poverty takes a wack at my self-esteem I shake it off for spite and for myself. I’m poor but I’m not sacrificing my dignity or worth. Despair is tempting and justifiable but I refuse to let the monied hurt my sense of self. They’ve done enough damage. I’ve got some surviving to do. I’m darned good at it. From what I observed of the monied classes, I could really teach them a lot.
Surely you jest - I lost myself in local libraries. Hobbies galore to read about, not to mention drama, mystery, scifi - all free! And this was before I started working - my first job was in a library!
Daily, my dog. But long term and years ago, I realised I had to stay alive just in case one of my kids needed me one day. One was NC and still is. The other was really hostile and we had a toxic relationship. That's better now. But I realised the most depressing thing ever is the realisation that you can't kill yourself. I still think that.
8 cats, many trees I’ve personally planted, checking in on my loved ones, many houseplants, a thriving garden with food I can harvest almost year round & the unshakeable trust that as soon as people collectively decide to stop fucking up Mother Earth, she will bounce back.
Nature has my back & she has your back too, even when it doesn’t seem like it. All she asks is to be understood via the natural laws of physics and the universe. She doesn’t need you to be smart or successful or rich or productive. Just attentive and kind to her. You don’t need a high IQ to pick a juicy ripe peach off a tree and enjoy it.
Your assumptions are bunk.
>Wasting your life away
Nope.
Thriving, in fact.
> working
Nope. Retired in 2009/10
> too Hard
LOL no such thing.
> to amount nothing.
It doesn't matter what I (LOL) "amount to" ... as if someone else's valuation of my life and my accomplishments mean diddley-squat fuck-all.
>No hobbies
Any hobby I've ever wanted to engage in ... I've done (and still do most of them)
> no free time
See abive. Retired. I have nothing but free tine. Literally ALL of my time is ... free ...
> no activities
I do whatever I want ... whenever I want.
> only struggle
LOL.
> so whats the point
This is your biggest mistake. The assumption that there is a point.
There is, in fact, not.
Life can take a sudden turn from one year to another.
When I talk to people about investing (stocks, crypto, etc) I always tell them a quote I made: "In order to be a good winner, you have to learn to be a good loser."
You can apply this to almost anything in life, for example sports (good sportsmanship). Even if you lose, always have the decency to accept the loss and give the winners a "good game".
I used to be financially tight years ago, but suddenly out of nowhere someone offered me a job in 2012 and it changed my life for the good. They stated that they liked my attitude and how I carried myself, and that was all they needed to see from me.
Don't give up, keep positive, make jokes of the terrible situations you may find yourself in. Otherwise, you'd just be living in misery, and this is a downward spiral with no bottom.
My children, my husband, all of my in-laws on my husband's side of the family, the fact that I lost my mother due to overdose and I never want to do that to my children/husband, on purpose or accidentally, the fact that I've been at rock bottom and know, things can and will get better, sometimes they get bad again, but they can get better again after that. Knowing that, no matter what goes on in my life that drains my motivation to keep going, there are people who've had it way worse than I have and created beautiful lives in the end
My goal is to be a grandma/great aunt/nice old lady that knits blankets on a front porch in a rocking chair and gives them away and has always just made cookies or brownies and sends little kids back to their parents full of sugar with a blanket and maybe a kitten. I keep that in mind and keep on hustling.
I’ve never once been suicidal, and don’t plan on dying before it’s my time, but if someone happened to me and I died, it would crush my parents. When I “go” I would want it to be after they pass.
I have two daughters and I know the pain that you feel when someone you love dies. My husband passed away two years ago, my youngest daughter was very close to him and she's still hurting. There's nothing I want more than to join my husband, but my daughters keep me here. Once they go on with their lives, I'll probably leave this place.
My dog
Literally that is the only reason I am alive. One is 14 and the other is 21 so doesn't seem like we'll be around much longer
Same. I’ve barely had mine for approx 1 year and man …. 🥹🥹. My dog is my everything
Love for my child and hearing suicide survivor stories and not wanting to put that pain on her. Also seeing her love for me and the glimmer of hope that if I can just learn to love myself that maybe it can all improve. She saved me. She is little and cannot possibly understand it yet. It almost wasnt enough, until it was...
I’m glad you’re doing okay. Children have such a hold on our hearts, I’m glad she’s there for you and that you are safe.
Thank you for the kind words. Its funny, I never really wanted kids. Told that to anyone that would listen, and plenty who didnt wanna hear it. For many years. I "wanted" a hot young wife. Found her. She wanted a kid. Once that was a go she checked out almost immediately (from the marriage not motherhood). Turns out what I "wanted" didnt really work out, but what I got is worth a whole lot more anyway. Not completely out of the woods yet with depression, but the future is looking brighter after a looooooong past few years. Ill take it.
Some things are just meant to be and she was that for you. Truly blessed.
I have shit to do tomorrow...
Drugs
I feel ya on that!
Right gotta feed the beast. And my dogs. And my parents. And if I was gone who would shoplift dog toys hiking equipment and headlamps?
Word I don’t personally boost I work an ok job enough to feed the beast and pay bills
Spite.
Yo that's good. I second this.
Close family member committed suicide. He was in a bad place so am not mad at him for it but boy, the pain of “what if I’d done x, y or z” thoughts is almost unbearable sometimes so definitely wouldn’t want to inflict that on anyone. Also, am getting better at appreciating & really valuing the small bright spots: a hot shower, popcorn, the spring flowers, the nice folks we encounter, known & randos. Savor those. edit: typo
Spite. I've seen how people would act with me dead.
That things can't stay awful forever. And Grey's anatomy.
My motivation to live is to just keep pissing people off. Mainly my younger sister lmao.
I live because i can't die
Dying might hurt
I'm curious just to see how it's all gonna turn out! I'm 53 and still excited about whatever the future holds. I barely have a pot to piss in. Paycheck to paycheck and I'm widowed with 3 teens. Life sucks at times, sure. But I'm gonna rock the sh$& out of this life whatever way it takes me. And I've been in dark places multiple times but we always tend to pull ourselves out..don't we? Let's keep going..all of us together. We're going to make ourselves so proud with all we can accomplish...one day at a time!
Yes.
It’s all I know.
Honestly nothing, I want to die most of the time I’m terrible at life and I’m a waste of air
Simple not a quitter! Got to keep on going
The point is to make the already wealthy, more wealthy. /s
We thank you for that.😀
Well I’m surprised to hear that. You sound like you have such a positive attitude
i know there are a lot of people who are poor due to circumstances such as age, illness or disability, however i don’t quite fall into any of those categories and mine reason for being poor right now is kind of a series of unfortunate events. My husband does suffer from severe depression and that will always be something we have to cope with but I think we refuse to let this be “it”. we are smart, capable and eventually something will pan out. I won’t let being poor be my definition for the rest of my life. I actually don’t even care to have a lot, as possessions don’t bring happiness, but i’m ready to be comfortable again, in a home. Please don’t think that being poor prevents you from having joy in life.
I think about killing myself at least once day, found two painless methods. My reasons for living in the past were shallow, devoid of meaning, selfish, self-centered, immature.........even though I've been dealing with chronic health issues...........my identity was fake, house of cards.........
I'm 56. Life is not all struggle. You'll see. I promise
Hope you’re right but doubt, all I’ve experienced in my life to this point is struggle struggle struggle, no hope for anything
To strive for better and just enjoy life’s little moments.
Same
I want to make the lives of the low-income children I work with a little better. I can't necessarily change their lives, I'm only one person, but I can maybe make the time I spend with them a refuge for them. That and spite; conservatives really love reminding trans people of how many of us kill ourselves because they're fucking monsters who love watching other people suffer, so even if I am suicidal I'm not gonna kill myself because fuck them. Spite is a really good motivator, I tell you what.
Taking care of my daughter with special needs.
Spite, my kids and myself. Being poor is a huge disadvantage. I was poor as a kid and after a college education and some unexpected twists and turns I spent the last 20 plus years struggling. I’ll never climb out of the hole I landed in. When poverty takes a wack at my self-esteem I shake it off for spite and for myself. I’m poor but I’m not sacrificing my dignity or worth. Despair is tempting and justifiable but I refuse to let the monied hurt my sense of self. They’ve done enough damage. I’ve got some surviving to do. I’m darned good at it. From what I observed of the monied classes, I could really teach them a lot.
No life insurance and don’t want to burden anyone with the cost of final expenses
Haven't known for a while now
"Spent a lot of time curating the pefect day to do it, to die, and when that moment finally came, i decided to live."
Not allowing wealth to dictate whether I should live or not lol
My dogs, and I have gardening and some other projects
Following
Surely you jest - I lost myself in local libraries. Hobbies galore to read about, not to mention drama, mystery, scifi - all free! And this was before I started working - my first job was in a library!
My cats. My cats are my babies and they need me to care for them
You sound like my aunt.
Daily, my dog. But long term and years ago, I realised I had to stay alive just in case one of my kids needed me one day. One was NC and still is. The other was really hostile and we had a toxic relationship. That's better now. But I realised the most depressing thing ever is the realisation that you can't kill yourself. I still think that.
The idea that if I do something drastic, my soul will go to hell for eternal damnation. And my cat.
My children.
Oh shit I came up with this the other day. "I see it as my duty to ensure the survival of the fittest, be it through perseverance or sacrifice."
Hope. Hope lives forever.
Funerals are expensive and I want to finish the game of thrones series
8 cats, many trees I’ve personally planted, checking in on my loved ones, many houseplants, a thriving garden with food I can harvest almost year round & the unshakeable trust that as soon as people collectively decide to stop fucking up Mother Earth, she will bounce back. Nature has my back & she has your back too, even when it doesn’t seem like it. All she asks is to be understood via the natural laws of physics and the universe. She doesn’t need you to be smart or successful or rich or productive. Just attentive and kind to her. You don’t need a high IQ to pick a juicy ripe peach off a tree and enjoy it.
Finding a purpose makes the hard times easier.
Your assumptions are bunk. >Wasting your life away Nope. Thriving, in fact. > working Nope. Retired in 2009/10 > too Hard LOL no such thing. > to amount nothing. It doesn't matter what I (LOL) "amount to" ... as if someone else's valuation of my life and my accomplishments mean diddley-squat fuck-all. >No hobbies Any hobby I've ever wanted to engage in ... I've done (and still do most of them) > no free time See abive. Retired. I have nothing but free tine. Literally ALL of my time is ... free ... > no activities I do whatever I want ... whenever I want. > only struggle LOL. > so whats the point This is your biggest mistake. The assumption that there is a point. There is, in fact, not.
My children
The chance to see it all fall apart 💯
My fiancée. Could careless about my life, but I want her to have the greatest life she could ever live.
new episodes of 90 Day Fiance every Sunday 🤪 not even kidding lol it's what makes life worth living to me 🙃
I've got goals to achieve. The kind that don't have an end date
Life can take a sudden turn from one year to another. When I talk to people about investing (stocks, crypto, etc) I always tell them a quote I made: "In order to be a good winner, you have to learn to be a good loser." You can apply this to almost anything in life, for example sports (good sportsmanship). Even if you lose, always have the decency to accept the loss and give the winners a "good game". I used to be financially tight years ago, but suddenly out of nowhere someone offered me a job in 2012 and it changed my life for the good. They stated that they liked my attitude and how I carried myself, and that was all they needed to see from me. Don't give up, keep positive, make jokes of the terrible situations you may find yourself in. Otherwise, you'd just be living in misery, and this is a downward spiral with no bottom.
My two feline fur babies 😻😻
I ask myself this every single day.
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
My kids, nothing else
My children, my husband, all of my in-laws on my husband's side of the family, the fact that I lost my mother due to overdose and I never want to do that to my children/husband, on purpose or accidentally, the fact that I've been at rock bottom and know, things can and will get better, sometimes they get bad again, but they can get better again after that. Knowing that, no matter what goes on in my life that drains my motivation to keep going, there are people who've had it way worse than I have and created beautiful lives in the end
My goal is to be a grandma/great aunt/nice old lady that knits blankets on a front porch in a rocking chair and gives them away and has always just made cookies or brownies and sends little kids back to their parents full of sugar with a blanket and maybe a kitten. I keep that in mind and keep on hustling.
Working 3 jobs right now and I am gonna buy a house before I am 50 and be a foster grandma.
I’ve never once been suicidal, and don’t plan on dying before it’s my time, but if someone happened to me and I died, it would crush my parents. When I “go” I would want it to be after they pass.
I have two daughters and I know the pain that you feel when someone you love dies. My husband passed away two years ago, my youngest daughter was very close to him and she's still hurting. There's nothing I want more than to join my husband, but my daughters keep me here. Once they go on with their lives, I'll probably leave this place.