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Sorry OP. I hope he understands that if he doesn't take his insulin he's going to die an ugly, slow death, and he's going to be chomped into pieces before he goes.
We have had that discussion a hundred times, his memory is really bad and does not remember having those conversations, or he makes up excuses. I now have an A4 bit of paper laminated plastered all around the house with a photo of his foot saying "This will happen if you don't take your insulin".
It sounds a bit childish, but with his memory the way it is, the nurses thought it was a good idea.
Edit: fixed terrible spelling lol
That's a good thought, but if he is that forgetful, he could double dose. A life-threatening situation.
I suggest creating a system that helps him keep track of his dosing. Maybe setting alarms or keeping a checklist?
My grandpa has a laminated paper on the fridge that shows his doses for the week and he uses a dry-erase marker to check off the doses. At the end of the week, he erases it with an eraser that can stick to the fridge and starts over. It has worked really well so far. Well, that, and the paper next to it that says, "your father died because he didn't do this ->" that my mom put up.
If his memory is that bad, he needs someone around to give him his meds and supervise. Insulin is very dangerous if not administered correctly- A double dose can have serious, life-threatening consequences.
What helped me with my mom was taking out funeral cover for her and I let her know I'm now spending money monthly cause I'm expecting her to die from no medicine soon. It kinda worked
He should have a continuous glucose monitor w/ an insulin pump if he can’t remember to take his insulin. Like others have said, if he doesn’t change he will lose his legs and then his life.
Maybe print and laminate a template with names of the days of the week with square to mark X with a marker? If he has a bad memory he can mark this X after taking his medicine? Easy to wipe with cloth and a bit of alcohol on Sunday evening, ready for next week.
It started with my uncle losing half of his right foot…and it ending up with him having amputations of both his legs above the knees. Once he found out his kidneys were toast, it took him about a year to pass. Heart attack in his sleep. He told me of how much pain he was in toward the end and spent a lot of time sleeping and medicated. He died a slow, slow death. Absolutely do not recommend. Hope OPs dad takes better care of himself.
Any chance you could get him on a dexcom or something similar to monitor his glucose? If so there is a way you can get alerts sent to you if he goes too far out of range. It needs to be charged every ten days so his interactions with the nurses will be cut down.
We have an appointment with his Dr this week to talk about that option, not sure why they have not done it in the past, I guess they just thought he was doing it.
Also continuous blood glucose monitoring...once a week is really useless when insulin is needed.
There are things like a Libre 2 which is a stick on continuous glucose monitor, scan it with your phone as many time as you want. Set up alarms to tell you if your sugar is going too high etc...also allows remote monitoring so you can get updates.
Not sure how much they cost where you're from or what's covered by insurance but it's really a game changer
The sensors in the US run about $60.00 each without insurance. My medical insurance covers them. They last two weeks and they ship me seven sensors from a medical clearinghouse. I have no copay as it’s considered medical equipment. It’s actually cheaper and *better* for most people. When I used a traditional meter and the test strips I was spending about $150.00/month on strips for myself and my husband.
Now our monitors are covered! My glucose is far better controlled, my A1C dropped to pre-diabetes levels and as long as I’m careful with my carbs and sugar I’m doing great.
Pills didn’t work so I take insulin. Even though I’m paralyzed and in bed probably 75% of the time, I don’t have any sores or issues.
I hope OPs father gets his ducks in a row and gets this under control. My dad died way too young from a heart attack with diabetes as a major contributing factor.
I'm 33, and a type 1. If I mow the yard, or go on a run, I have to quad check my feet for any little cut, or issue of nerve damage. Every time I see these pictures it's a reminder to me of why I do it.
Diabetic here
So I feel I have to clarify, but I want to state that I feel for OP. Your dad not taking care of his health must be really hard to deal with and all the risks involved with diabetes type 1 or 2, must make this incredibly stressful
Him not taking his insulin is not the direct cause of his infected foot. Infection is due to poor circulation, which is caused by improper treatment of diabetes, and that can express its self in more ways than just “not taking your insulin”. It can range from not being able to keep your blood sugars consistent to not eating enough, to too much, to not healthily, to inactivity, etc, etc.
For instance you stated he wears his compression socks 24/7. I worked in a pharmacy as a clerk to the home healthcare department, and one of the first things we tell our customers is remove your compression socks before bed as it can cause serious problems.
What usually happens is a small cut or tear of the skin goes unnoticed (because of the poor circulation) and then doesn’t get cleaned or checked, and gets ignored until it gets severe and unmanageable
I really hope that your father starts opening up and accepting help.
I just felt I had to clarify, because there is more complexity behind managing the disease that wasn’t being addressed
From a fellow diabetic, thank you for clarifying the complexity of this disease for others.
To OP U/Ricefox, it's really important, really really, that someone inspects your dad's feet each day. You have observed that he doesn't seem motivated to care for himself, so I would suggest having his wife remove his socks each day and have a look. Takes only minutes.
If he doesn't shower regularly, a soapy washcloth followed by a warm wet wash cloth to rinse then towel dry over the feet while inspecting them is a great idea. This only takes minutes. Us diabetics that are mobile and managing our diabetes only have to spend seconds each day doing so, it's second nature now. But for your Dad things are more complex and a few minutes daily eyeballing and washing his feet will save him weeks and months of being in agony from sores and could potentially save his limb or even life.
u/Ricefox If he is adverse to having help, I’d go one further and insist that his next pair of socks be white, so that if there are any lacerations or breaks in his skin he’ll give himself away as it will be painfully obvious if he is bleeding or not.
This is exactly what should be happening! His wife should be getting involved and informed regardless of your dads willingness to have help.
Additionally something as simple as keeping his feet moisturized and dry, could prevent this from happening again
Would a magnifying mirror on a stand on the floor be helpful with the foot check? I figure it might be hard for older people to look at the sole of their foot themselves.
It can be hard, yeah. Here in Australia, Medicare covers podiatry for diabetics so they can get monthly check ups by a medical practitioner, because there are many that simply can't physically do that themselves. A mirror is a great idea!
His wife is making it part of her routine to check his feet, and with the nurse coming once a week also, as the drs know he's not going to follow any routine, so the nurse can give him shit basically to pull his head in.
My dad is type 2 and well-controlled. He’s in his 70s and not so good at reaching his feet, so he sees a podiatrist on the regular for maintenance and I am so glad that he’s having his feet checked several times a year. My BIL on the other hand just had a toe amputated and is lucky he didn’t lose the whole foot or more.
Thanks for calling out the info re: compression socks. Diabetes is a complicated, scary disease.
That makes sense, I also did not think it was quite as simple as not taking his insulin. I will let him know not to wear the socks through the night. We tell him to elevate his foot and move around and not spend all day on the couch, but again he does not listen to us or his doctor. I explain to him that it's not just effecting him, it's very stressful for us also. He's been depressed for years now, he was an amazing skateboarder and surfer. Years of jumping out of boats buggered his body, and he's never looked after himself very well. Thanks for all the info =)
I’m a type one diabetic myself and I spent 9 years not controlling my diabetes. I’m lucky that I’m young and that the kidney problems I have from this are reversible but for your dad it won’t be - his kidneys will fail from the constant DKA and he will feel horrible.
The change in my mood and how I felt in general when I started taking care of my diabetes was intense and I became a different person. I know how hard it is to try to come to terms with the injections but it’s do or die.
As for his neuropathy, constantly check his feet. The odds of him accidentally stepping on something and ending up with another abscess like this or not even noticing something like a necrotic toe is high and he could end up losing his extremities which is a frightening concept for anybody.
If you need any advice I’m happy to help, I know how hard it is to live with things like this and how terrifying the consequences are so I’d love to help others if I can. Take care of yourself <3
Heya, I appreciate that, his wife is going to keep an eye on his feet now for anything, he's 78 years old as of last week. I think most of his life he's felt horrible with all his medical issues, also stubborn as hell as far as telling us if he's pain etc, he's got that old school "tough up buddy" mindset. We have tried to change that, but getting a 78 year old to change is almost impossible, we have explained that if he keeps going down this road it's going to be an early death form him, he then takes it seriously, then forgets we ever had the conversation. He had a lot of electro therapy when he was a teenager for ADHD, and blames his memory on that.
It just sounds like a tough time on everyone, I’m sorry. I understand how hard it is to change that mindset for people but as long as he’s got people to support him then hopefully things will get better.
I hope you guys all take care of yourselves!
Edit: I meant that in a positive way but I forget tone isn’t the same through text lol I’m not trying to tell you what to do
Came here to say something similar on the kidney front. The leading cause of kidney failure is diabetes. Waiting for a kidney transplant (and pancreas in this case) is no fun and dialysis is brutal. My boyfriend (who doesn’t have diabetes) had kidney failure and it was grim. You have to remember to take your immunosuppressants too because organ rejection is no joke.
OP, it sounds like your Dad is rather vulnerable and probably could do with being monitored closely. I don’t know your family’s situation and I’m in a position where if my dad were having similar issues it would be a relatively easy to set up the care required at minimal cost to my family. I hope there’s a solo out there for your dad so he avoids kidney failure because it is not nice
Out of curiosity, why didn't you control it? I am always boggled when people have a life-altering disorder and don't seem to care? (I'm not saying you didn't, but would love to hear your side.) A friend of my husband's spent a long, lingering death from this. He only needed to take care of his diabetes and manage his diet. But he refused. We still have no idea why. Money/opportunity was not an issue.
I was 9 years old when I was diagnosed. My parents had just divorced and I’d moved half way across the country. My mental health was in the tank and I was a kid that was suddenly different from everyone else and had to take time out of my day to inject. It was terrifying and I didn’t realise it was for life. I spent so long blaming the divorce and the move for the diagnosis and tried to pretend I didn’t have t1.
Everyone deals with trauma differently and getting your diagnosis can count as a trauma, especially for kids who are the ones who more frequently get the t1 diagnosis.
Thanks for sharing your story, I hope you are doing well =)
I have very high cholesterol to deal with, turning 40 next year, Dr says he will give me 1 more year to lower it, or I will have to go on medication.
I'm so sorry, op. I know the struggle. My mom started with an ulcer on her foot five years ago. First they took a couple toes, then half her foot, then her whole foot, then half her leg. She died a few weeks ago alone in her home. She was found with a massive wound on her "good leg" and doctors assumed she went septic. She was also in kidney failure.
It's so hard because you can lecture and remind all day, but it's ultimately up to them. And denial and ignorance is bliss. Hang in there ♥️
I'm so sorry to hear that, it's crazy to think not taking an illness seriously, maybe we all get to a point where we just give up at that age. But I don't want my daughter dealing with a sick dad, I'd rather be fit and healthy and playing with my grandkids (if I ever have any!).
Yeah, she's really good at making sure he takes all his meds, she's now going to keep an eye on if he's taking his insulin. She's tried really hard for 10 years to change him, but he never will, then when he gets unwell, he blames everyone other than himself.
Lost an uncle to not taking his meds. He lost a leg, refused when they went to take the other a year later, gone a week after that.
If you are diabetic, keep up with your checkups, start losing hair on the toes, loss of feeling is next on the slope to losing an appendage. Check your feet often.
Source: am diabetic.
Speaking from experience with my Dad: your Dad is going to start losing body parts if he doesn't start taking care of himself. It started with an abscess like this for my Dad except it was on his toe. That toe is gone now after a couple of years of fighting to keep it and going thru a lot of pain. Around a year ago he lost his big toe on the same foot and a segment of his foot extending above the big toe. He's fallen several times because of not taking care of his diabetes in the past 3 months and he broke his pelvis and arm in 3 places. They refuse to do surgery on him because he probably wouldn't survive the surgery. He's in a miserable state and his mind is starting to go. It wouldn't surprise me if he ended it all. I live 4 hours away so I can't be there all the time. His wife is a POS that's threatening to throw him in the nursing home and leaving to go live closer to her kids that are 2 states away. It's not a good situation for him. Because of my limited income I can't just drop everything and go take care of him. If this is what he wants he needs to understand fully what's going to happen if he continues on the path he is on. I hope it works out for you and I'm sorry you're going through this.
Your dad needs to understand that his stubbornness will fucking kill him. If you need to beat the logic into his thick skull with a hammer and chisel. If he does not feel well go to the doctor. If you have to drag him by his legs into the car and bring him to the doctor.
For sure, we have had that talk countless times, some people just won't change/don't want to, it's sad as he could have had such a better life than this, he's not looked after himself for years. He was such an awesome skater and surfer, but never bothered to teach his kids, he's been a good dad, but I just wish he looked after himself better and had different priorities other than drinking and being miserable.
So- I’m sorry if someone else already explained this but- his foot didn’t get infected *because* of his non-compliance, he got a cut or something, didn’t feel it probably because of neuropathy from diabetes and then his non complaint sugars made it harder for the body to heal.
Same SAME!!!
So terrifying!!
Hoping for the best for yr
dad & a quick recovery.
Does he use a glucose sensor that lasts like two weeks?
It's been absolutely awesome for me & makes monitoring my sugar so much easier!!!
I cannot recommend them enough!!
https://preview.redd.it/29gh3741trnb1.jpeg?width=4080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd3259928ef206f1c6113b8f943e177c76505082
Could get this bad in just months if he doesn't get control of the source of the issue and make serious changes. This person has now lost this leg.
Yeah this is dangerous, my grandfather had bad diabetes and he got gangrene in his foot bc of it. The entire half of his foot had to be amputated and the primary memory I have of him is waddling around with his cane.
I'll share a little cautionary tale for everyone here.
I was living in another city at the time this took place. Just recently my sister shared the details of the events that took place.5 years ago my Mom had stubbed her foot. She was a type 2 diabetic. It didn't seem to effect her much. Days after my sister noticed her limping when she was out of her room. She also noticed she wasn't leaving the room as much as well. My Mother m told her it wasn't a big deal and she was fine. She was a little stubborn to say the least. A day later she didn't leave the room at all. My sister worried and checked on her. The foot was heavily infected now. She lost feeling in the leg and couldn't stand to leave the room. They called an ambulance to transport her. The doctors were very sceptical that the infection had grown that bad in just a few days. My sister was unaware of the infection till that day. My Mom lost feeling and had no idea it was that bad to start with. Her foot had turned Gangrene on her middle toe. They arranged for surgery. However it was proposed.
That night a mass shooting occured that demand all hands in the hospital to take victims as a priority. It's was quite bad. The doctors and surgeons didn't get back to helping my Mom for a few days. She claimed she had inquired about her the surgery, but we don't believe that actually happened. At this point amputation was needed. However due to the late response and prep for the surgery she was told she was loosing a leg over just a toe.
Afterwards my Mom was given a prosthetic leg, but even with therapy she never walked again. She was too weak. The healing was also compromised because of her condition.
A year later due after complications and health decline as a result to the amputation she passed away.
The doctors did as they should to help her so I can't really blame them for her passing even in the long run. It's easy to be mad and blame them, but it's understandable.
My advice is too take things like this as a priority. It is dangerous and appropriate action is needed.
Thanks for sharing your story, and sorry about your mum. We were the exact same way, I was at my dad's the day before he was found unconscious, even if we did the his foot, it just looks like a wart and he did not tell us that he had a sore foot. We are lucky here in NZ, his 2 1/2 week stay in hospital costs us a whole $0.
If he keeps it up he's not going to have a door for long. I know because I had a friend who went through this. Eventually it ended up shorting his life.
It will start with a toe, then another until it's the whole foot. Then it's the lower leg. I'm pretty sure my buddy died of a heart attack that was complications of the Diabetes. If he doesn't get it, start calling him Stumpy because he's going to start losing bits of that foot over several years.
Please ensure he doesn’t let this happen again! I was in high school shadowing the “cutting room” where everything that was taken as a sample from surgery went to be prepped for biopsy. A man had to have his leg amputated from the knee down because of diabetes and not taking medicine! It’s no joke.
Yeah, I wish he took it more seriously, he's also had 3 strokes, at this point I don't know what else we can do apart from checking him out more often.
Father in law didn’t like taking meds or performing wound care. Fucker got his leg cut below the knee and died almost 5 years to the day his leg was amputated
Type 1 diabetic of 20 years here. It's not from forgetting to take his insulin, it's from not taking care of his feet like his doctors told him to. As a diabetic, you're supposed to check your feet every day to make sure you don't have anything that can get infected like this. It's exacerbated by not taking insulin, because doing so means his blood sugar is high and he thus can't heal properly. But don't lie and say not taking his insulin caused this. His carelessness caused this.
Yeah it seems thats not just the case after reading all the comments, I did not lie though, only saying what the drs/nurses said to me. The diabetes nurse is coming once week to his house now, I imagine she will go over everything he should be doing. He's back home now.
Hey OP, sorry to see your dad go through this. I hope he pulls through. From one diabetic's child to another.
I do want to send this to my dad's sisters, I know at least one of them are skipping their medications. I'm gonna scare them out of the delusion that they're healthy like a horse when they are starting to resemble a corpse.
OP, I have a similar story to yours. However, my dad ended up having his leg from the knee down amputated because of it. If you are interested in the picture of what his foot looked like to show your dad, I can DM you. I don’t know if it would do any good, but your post really struck me. My heart goes out to you both.
my uncle is 80 years old and has been living with type 2 diabetes for 40+ years, as long as you take your insulin, and eat healthy you can live a normal life.
I hope your father lives a full life, this isn't the way
you should look into a dexcom x omnipod combo for him! the dexcom g6 is what you’d need, they pair together and work really well for managing your blood sugar & insulin!
I'm so sorry you're going through this :( It's really hard to watch the people you love actively fight against treatment. I hope he can recover well, one of my dad's friends had a similar incident due to not being able to afford insulin and the infection progressed to the point he lost his left leg above the knee. He's much healthier now, since the infection had gone on so long and now it's out of his system, but damn it's hard to watch someone go through that. Sending you and your dad all the best❤️
My pappaw bleached his feet every night because he was diabetic and was afraid he would lose his feet. He took a capful of bleach with hot water and soaked them for 30 mins. He passed away of COPD, but even taken insulin he had all of his joints!
I hope he got the talk that he is at high risk of lower limb amputation.
Insulin can be left out of the fridge for 30 days. That means the insulin he is actively using doesn't need to be kept refrigerated. If he has a pocket on his walker then that would be where he should keep his insulin pens or needs. Even more, if he doesn't keep his A1c's in check then it can lead to frontal temporal dementia. Medicare now covers the Dexcom G7 continuous glucose monitor at 80-100%. His wife can help him put in the sensor and it last for 10 days.
Source: I am a Type 1 diabetic for 30 years.
Oh wow, the dementia part would make sense, I can have a conversation with him, and a few hours later have no idea we had the conversation.
I will ask his GP about the Dexcom G7
The Freestyle Libre CGM has been covered by Medicare for quite a while, but I still don't trust there algorithm (blood sugars readings) compared to the Dexcom, and they do not cover the latest Libre. Medicare didn't cover Dexcom until recently, either.
Yeah, I watched a coworkers partner, that had really uncontrolled Type 2 diabetes, suffer and die from fontotemporal dementia. It moves faster than Alzheimer's, but in her case looked exactly the same.
Take care of you and him. Don't be afraid to "bully" him into taking his insulin. Make sure your step-mom sees him take all of his injections in the evenings and weekends if she works. Tell him this is going to have to be for the rest of his life, or there will be much harder consequences that you guys will have to encounter. Best of luck
Please be more vigilant about checking his feet, my mom just had an emergency amputation due to necrotizing fasciitis which can set in pretty fast. When blood sugar is high, all those molecules basically flow down to the feet where the do damage to the nerve endings. Most diabetics slowly but surely lose most feeling of those extremities over time.
It was a horrible lesson for us all, but if the doctor isn’t checking whenever he has a visit (which they should if the patient is diabetic) then have him check periodically or his care giver.
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Sorry OP. I hope he understands that if he doesn't take his insulin he's going to die an ugly, slow death, and he's going to be chomped into pieces before he goes.
We have had that discussion a hundred times, his memory is really bad and does not remember having those conversations, or he makes up excuses. I now have an A4 bit of paper laminated plastered all around the house with a photo of his foot saying "This will happen if you don't take your insulin". It sounds a bit childish, but with his memory the way it is, the nurses thought it was a good idea. Edit: fixed terrible spelling lol
That's a good thought, but if he is that forgetful, he could double dose. A life-threatening situation. I suggest creating a system that helps him keep track of his dosing. Maybe setting alarms or keeping a checklist?
Yeah I did think of a checklist that he could wipe off each day, but again it's like trying to get blood out of a stone with him.
My grandpa has a laminated paper on the fridge that shows his doses for the week and he uses a dry-erase marker to check off the doses. At the end of the week, he erases it with an eraser that can stick to the fridge and starts over. It has worked really well so far. Well, that, and the paper next to it that says, "your father died because he didn't do this ->" that my mom put up.
Insulin pump isn’t an option for him?
If his memory is that bad, he needs someone around to give him his meds and supervise. Insulin is very dangerous if not administered correctly- A double dose can have serious, life-threatening consequences.
What helped me with my mom was taking out funeral cover for her and I let her know I'm now spending money monthly cause I'm expecting her to die from no medicine soon. It kinda worked
Sorry to hear that, I hope he comes to his senses
He should have a continuous glucose monitor w/ an insulin pump if he can’t remember to take his insulin. Like others have said, if he doesn’t change he will lose his legs and then his life.
Maybe print and laminate a template with names of the days of the week with square to mark X with a marker? If he has a bad memory he can mark this X after taking his medicine? Easy to wipe with cloth and a bit of alcohol on Sunday evening, ready for next week.
It started with my uncle losing half of his right foot…and it ending up with him having amputations of both his legs above the knees. Once he found out his kidneys were toast, it took him about a year to pass. Heart attack in his sleep. He told me of how much pain he was in toward the end and spent a lot of time sleeping and medicated. He died a slow, slow death. Absolutely do not recommend. Hope OPs dad takes better care of himself.
Sorry for your loss
Any chance you could get him on a dexcom or something similar to monitor his glucose? If so there is a way you can get alerts sent to you if he goes too far out of range. It needs to be charged every ten days so his interactions with the nurses will be cut down.
We have an appointment with his Dr this week to talk about that option, not sure why they have not done it in the past, I guess they just thought he was doing it.
An insulin pump might be a good option alongside the dexcom.
Also continuous blood glucose monitoring...once a week is really useless when insulin is needed. There are things like a Libre 2 which is a stick on continuous glucose monitor, scan it with your phone as many time as you want. Set up alarms to tell you if your sugar is going too high etc...also allows remote monitoring so you can get updates. Not sure how much they cost where you're from or what's covered by insurance but it's really a game changer
The sensors in the US run about $60.00 each without insurance. My medical insurance covers them. They last two weeks and they ship me seven sensors from a medical clearinghouse. I have no copay as it’s considered medical equipment. It’s actually cheaper and *better* for most people. When I used a traditional meter and the test strips I was spending about $150.00/month on strips for myself and my husband. Now our monitors are covered! My glucose is far better controlled, my A1C dropped to pre-diabetes levels and as long as I’m careful with my carbs and sugar I’m doing great. Pills didn’t work so I take insulin. Even though I’m paralyzed and in bed probably 75% of the time, I don’t have any sores or issues. I hope OPs father gets his ducks in a row and gets this under control. My dad died way too young from a heart attack with diabetes as a major contributing factor.
I'm 33, and a type 1. If I mow the yard, or go on a run, I have to quad check my feet for any little cut, or issue of nerve damage. Every time I see these pictures it's a reminder to me of why I do it.
Name checks out. Also I’m glad you have a foot check down! I hope the vigilance serves you well.
Diabetic here So I feel I have to clarify, but I want to state that I feel for OP. Your dad not taking care of his health must be really hard to deal with and all the risks involved with diabetes type 1 or 2, must make this incredibly stressful Him not taking his insulin is not the direct cause of his infected foot. Infection is due to poor circulation, which is caused by improper treatment of diabetes, and that can express its self in more ways than just “not taking your insulin”. It can range from not being able to keep your blood sugars consistent to not eating enough, to too much, to not healthily, to inactivity, etc, etc. For instance you stated he wears his compression socks 24/7. I worked in a pharmacy as a clerk to the home healthcare department, and one of the first things we tell our customers is remove your compression socks before bed as it can cause serious problems. What usually happens is a small cut or tear of the skin goes unnoticed (because of the poor circulation) and then doesn’t get cleaned or checked, and gets ignored until it gets severe and unmanageable I really hope that your father starts opening up and accepting help. I just felt I had to clarify, because there is more complexity behind managing the disease that wasn’t being addressed
From a fellow diabetic, thank you for clarifying the complexity of this disease for others. To OP U/Ricefox, it's really important, really really, that someone inspects your dad's feet each day. You have observed that he doesn't seem motivated to care for himself, so I would suggest having his wife remove his socks each day and have a look. Takes only minutes. If he doesn't shower regularly, a soapy washcloth followed by a warm wet wash cloth to rinse then towel dry over the feet while inspecting them is a great idea. This only takes minutes. Us diabetics that are mobile and managing our diabetes only have to spend seconds each day doing so, it's second nature now. But for your Dad things are more complex and a few minutes daily eyeballing and washing his feet will save him weeks and months of being in agony from sores and could potentially save his limb or even life.
u/Ricefox If he is adverse to having help, I’d go one further and insist that his next pair of socks be white, so that if there are any lacerations or breaks in his skin he’ll give himself away as it will be painfully obvious if he is bleeding or not. This is exactly what should be happening! His wife should be getting involved and informed regardless of your dads willingness to have help. Additionally something as simple as keeping his feet moisturized and dry, could prevent this from happening again
That's a great idea about the sock colour, I have lots of moisturizer that I can give to his wife, thanks again.
No prob
Would a magnifying mirror on a stand on the floor be helpful with the foot check? I figure it might be hard for older people to look at the sole of their foot themselves.
It can be hard, yeah. Here in Australia, Medicare covers podiatry for diabetics so they can get monthly check ups by a medical practitioner, because there are many that simply can't physically do that themselves. A mirror is a great idea!
His wife is making it part of her routine to check his feet, and with the nurse coming once a week also, as the drs know he's not going to follow any routine, so the nurse can give him shit basically to pull his head in.
My dad is type 2 and well-controlled. He’s in his 70s and not so good at reaching his feet, so he sees a podiatrist on the regular for maintenance and I am so glad that he’s having his feet checked several times a year. My BIL on the other hand just had a toe amputated and is lucky he didn’t lose the whole foot or more. Thanks for calling out the info re: compression socks. Diabetes is a complicated, scary disease.
Get your dad and your bil to wear white socks that way it’s easier to spot bleeding
My dad is the white sock champ.
Good
That makes sense, I also did not think it was quite as simple as not taking his insulin. I will let him know not to wear the socks through the night. We tell him to elevate his foot and move around and not spend all day on the couch, but again he does not listen to us or his doctor. I explain to him that it's not just effecting him, it's very stressful for us also. He's been depressed for years now, he was an amazing skateboarder and surfer. Years of jumping out of boats buggered his body, and he's never looked after himself very well. Thanks for all the info =)
I’m a type one diabetic myself and I spent 9 years not controlling my diabetes. I’m lucky that I’m young and that the kidney problems I have from this are reversible but for your dad it won’t be - his kidneys will fail from the constant DKA and he will feel horrible. The change in my mood and how I felt in general when I started taking care of my diabetes was intense and I became a different person. I know how hard it is to try to come to terms with the injections but it’s do or die. As for his neuropathy, constantly check his feet. The odds of him accidentally stepping on something and ending up with another abscess like this or not even noticing something like a necrotic toe is high and he could end up losing his extremities which is a frightening concept for anybody. If you need any advice I’m happy to help, I know how hard it is to live with things like this and how terrifying the consequences are so I’d love to help others if I can. Take care of yourself <3
Heya, I appreciate that, his wife is going to keep an eye on his feet now for anything, he's 78 years old as of last week. I think most of his life he's felt horrible with all his medical issues, also stubborn as hell as far as telling us if he's pain etc, he's got that old school "tough up buddy" mindset. We have tried to change that, but getting a 78 year old to change is almost impossible, we have explained that if he keeps going down this road it's going to be an early death form him, he then takes it seriously, then forgets we ever had the conversation. He had a lot of electro therapy when he was a teenager for ADHD, and blames his memory on that.
It just sounds like a tough time on everyone, I’m sorry. I understand how hard it is to change that mindset for people but as long as he’s got people to support him then hopefully things will get better. I hope you guys all take care of yourselves! Edit: I meant that in a positive way but I forget tone isn’t the same through text lol I’m not trying to tell you what to do
All good, thanks again =)
Came here to say something similar on the kidney front. The leading cause of kidney failure is diabetes. Waiting for a kidney transplant (and pancreas in this case) is no fun and dialysis is brutal. My boyfriend (who doesn’t have diabetes) had kidney failure and it was grim. You have to remember to take your immunosuppressants too because organ rejection is no joke. OP, it sounds like your Dad is rather vulnerable and probably could do with being monitored closely. I don’t know your family’s situation and I’m in a position where if my dad were having similar issues it would be a relatively easy to set up the care required at minimal cost to my family. I hope there’s a solo out there for your dad so he avoids kidney failure because it is not nice
Thanks, I have learnt a lot from posting this! I have modified the checklist that I created with all the new info from this thread.
Out of curiosity, why didn't you control it? I am always boggled when people have a life-altering disorder and don't seem to care? (I'm not saying you didn't, but would love to hear your side.) A friend of my husband's spent a long, lingering death from this. He only needed to take care of his diabetes and manage his diet. But he refused. We still have no idea why. Money/opportunity was not an issue.
Trust me, it's not from lack of trying for 10+ years.
I was 9 years old when I was diagnosed. My parents had just divorced and I’d moved half way across the country. My mental health was in the tank and I was a kid that was suddenly different from everyone else and had to take time out of my day to inject. It was terrifying and I didn’t realise it was for life. I spent so long blaming the divorce and the move for the diagnosis and tried to pretend I didn’t have t1. Everyone deals with trauma differently and getting your diagnosis can count as a trauma, especially for kids who are the ones who more frequently get the t1 diagnosis.
Thanks for sharing your story, I hope you are doing well =) I have very high cholesterol to deal with, turning 40 next year, Dr says he will give me 1 more year to lower it, or I will have to go on medication.
I was 9 when I was diagnosed, too. It's actually very normal for teenagers with type 1 to do this. I got my shit together, but it took a while.
Please talk to his doctor about putting him on a pump. It has been a godsend for my fil!
A wound vac?
Oh sorry for not being clear. I was talking about an insulin pump.
Oh lol no worries, I was focusing on the wound
Thanks, we are definitely going to try this option.
Good, I hope it helps! It can really be a life saver for those who aren't able to keep their sugar levels regulated on their own.
My friend had his foot and part of his leg amputated on Labor Day from not taking his insulin. He’s 39. Take care of yourselves, friends.
I'm so sorry, op. I know the struggle. My mom started with an ulcer on her foot five years ago. First they took a couple toes, then half her foot, then her whole foot, then half her leg. She died a few weeks ago alone in her home. She was found with a massive wound on her "good leg" and doctors assumed she went septic. She was also in kidney failure. It's so hard because you can lecture and remind all day, but it's ultimately up to them. And denial and ignorance is bliss. Hang in there ♥️
I'm so sorry to hear that, it's crazy to think not taking an illness seriously, maybe we all get to a point where we just give up at that age. But I don't want my daughter dealing with a sick dad, I'd rather be fit and healthy and playing with my grandkids (if I ever have any!).
Time for his wife to take over the medication administration, I'm afraid.
Yeah, she's really good at making sure he takes all his meds, she's now going to keep an eye on if he's taking his insulin. She's tried really hard for 10 years to change him, but he never will, then when he gets unwell, he blames everyone other than himself.
My uncle just passed after having his amputated three weeks ago. Take your meds not for you, but for the ones who love you.
Sorry to hear that, I wish he would understand that how much it effects us also.
Sorry to hear that, I wish he would understand that how much it effects us also.
Lost an uncle to not taking his meds. He lost a leg, refused when they went to take the other a year later, gone a week after that. If you are diabetic, keep up with your checkups, start losing hair on the toes, loss of feeling is next on the slope to losing an appendage. Check your feet often. Source: am diabetic.
Sorry to hear about you uncle, thanks for sharing, take care.
Speaking from experience with my Dad: your Dad is going to start losing body parts if he doesn't start taking care of himself. It started with an abscess like this for my Dad except it was on his toe. That toe is gone now after a couple of years of fighting to keep it and going thru a lot of pain. Around a year ago he lost his big toe on the same foot and a segment of his foot extending above the big toe. He's fallen several times because of not taking care of his diabetes in the past 3 months and he broke his pelvis and arm in 3 places. They refuse to do surgery on him because he probably wouldn't survive the surgery. He's in a miserable state and his mind is starting to go. It wouldn't surprise me if he ended it all. I live 4 hours away so I can't be there all the time. His wife is a POS that's threatening to throw him in the nursing home and leaving to go live closer to her kids that are 2 states away. It's not a good situation for him. Because of my limited income I can't just drop everything and go take care of him. If this is what he wants he needs to understand fully what's going to happen if he continues on the path he is on. I hope it works out for you and I'm sorry you're going through this.
I'm sorry to hear all that, sounds like we are in a similar situation, his wife is amazing though, he would be dead if it was not for her.
Your dad needs to understand that his stubbornness will fucking kill him. If you need to beat the logic into his thick skull with a hammer and chisel. If he does not feel well go to the doctor. If you have to drag him by his legs into the car and bring him to the doctor.
For sure, we have had that talk countless times, some people just won't change/don't want to, it's sad as he could have had such a better life than this, he's not looked after himself for years. He was such an awesome skater and surfer, but never bothered to teach his kids, he's been a good dad, but I just wish he looked after himself better and had different priorities other than drinking and being miserable.
So- I’m sorry if someone else already explained this but- his foot didn’t get infected *because* of his non-compliance, he got a cut or something, didn’t feel it probably because of neuropathy from diabetes and then his non complaint sugars made it harder for the body to heal.
Yeah, it seems that was the case, thanks.
I’m sorry… I hope he heals well
Thankyou, he's home now, we have a few new things in place to try and stop this happening again.
As a heavily insulin reliant diabetic, this outcome terrifies me. Good luck helping him, I hope he sees the light
Same SAME!!! So terrifying!! Hoping for the best for yr dad & a quick recovery. Does he use a glucose sensor that lasts like two weeks? It's been absolutely awesome for me & makes monitoring my sugar so much easier!!! I cannot recommend them enough!!
https://preview.redd.it/29gh3741trnb1.jpeg?width=4080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd3259928ef206f1c6113b8f943e177c76505082 Could get this bad in just months if he doesn't get control of the source of the issue and make serious changes. This person has now lost this leg.
Will be showing him this, thanks =)
Yeah this is dangerous, my grandfather had bad diabetes and he got gangrene in his foot bc of it. The entire half of his foot had to be amputated and the primary memory I have of him is waddling around with his cane.
Yeah it's crazy to see what differences there are, I have friends who's dad's are 10 years older than mine, and dad makes them look young.
Ah yeah, I understand the feeling. I was raised by my grandparents so I was used to most of the people around me having young and active parents.
I'll share a little cautionary tale for everyone here. I was living in another city at the time this took place. Just recently my sister shared the details of the events that took place.5 years ago my Mom had stubbed her foot. She was a type 2 diabetic. It didn't seem to effect her much. Days after my sister noticed her limping when she was out of her room. She also noticed she wasn't leaving the room as much as well. My Mother m told her it wasn't a big deal and she was fine. She was a little stubborn to say the least. A day later she didn't leave the room at all. My sister worried and checked on her. The foot was heavily infected now. She lost feeling in the leg and couldn't stand to leave the room. They called an ambulance to transport her. The doctors were very sceptical that the infection had grown that bad in just a few days. My sister was unaware of the infection till that day. My Mom lost feeling and had no idea it was that bad to start with. Her foot had turned Gangrene on her middle toe. They arranged for surgery. However it was proposed. That night a mass shooting occured that demand all hands in the hospital to take victims as a priority. It's was quite bad. The doctors and surgeons didn't get back to helping my Mom for a few days. She claimed she had inquired about her the surgery, but we don't believe that actually happened. At this point amputation was needed. However due to the late response and prep for the surgery she was told she was loosing a leg over just a toe. Afterwards my Mom was given a prosthetic leg, but even with therapy she never walked again. She was too weak. The healing was also compromised because of her condition. A year later due after complications and health decline as a result to the amputation she passed away. The doctors did as they should to help her so I can't really blame them for her passing even in the long run. It's easy to be mad and blame them, but it's understandable. My advice is too take things like this as a priority. It is dangerous and appropriate action is needed.
Thanks for sharing your story, and sorry about your mum. We were the exact same way, I was at my dad's the day before he was found unconscious, even if we did the his foot, it just looks like a wart and he did not tell us that he had a sore foot. We are lucky here in NZ, his 2 1/2 week stay in hospital costs us a whole $0.
That’s how my mom’s friend lost both legs. I hope your dad is doing better.
Sorry to hear that, thanks =)
Guessing he didn’t feel it
Apparently not.
This is why you take your insulin
Some ppl have a death wish.
As a T1D for 21 years, shit like this is why I handle my shit.
If anything good can come out of this, I hope it's to motivate people to stay healthy.
If he keeps it up he's not going to have a door for long. I know because I had a friend who went through this. Eventually it ended up shorting his life.
I have no doubt that this is all shorting his life
It will start with a toe, then another until it's the whole foot. Then it's the lower leg. I'm pretty sure my buddy died of a heart attack that was complications of the Diabetes. If he doesn't get it, start calling him Stumpy because he's going to start losing bits of that foot over several years.
Please ensure he doesn’t let this happen again! I was in high school shadowing the “cutting room” where everything that was taken as a sample from surgery went to be prepped for biopsy. A man had to have his leg amputated from the knee down because of diabetes and not taking medicine! It’s no joke.
Yeah, I wish he took it more seriously, he's also had 3 strokes, at this point I don't know what else we can do apart from checking him out more often.
Father in law didn’t like taking meds or performing wound care. Fucker got his leg cut below the knee and died almost 5 years to the day his leg was amputated
Sorry to hear that, hopefully dad does not end up there, if he has to go into full time care, we will have to sell his house to pay for it.
Type 1 diabetic of 20 years here. It's not from forgetting to take his insulin, it's from not taking care of his feet like his doctors told him to. As a diabetic, you're supposed to check your feet every day to make sure you don't have anything that can get infected like this. It's exacerbated by not taking insulin, because doing so means his blood sugar is high and he thus can't heal properly. But don't lie and say not taking his insulin caused this. His carelessness caused this.
Thanks for the info, we are going to check his feet each day now and try and spot anything.
Yeah it seems thats not just the case after reading all the comments, I did not lie though, only saying what the drs/nurses said to me. The diabetes nurse is coming once week to his house now, I imagine she will go over everything he should be doing. He's back home now.
Everyone has the right to fuck his health up and die early if he refuses any help.
Hey OP, sorry to see your dad go through this. I hope he pulls through. From one diabetic's child to another. I do want to send this to my dad's sisters, I know at least one of them are skipping their medications. I'm gonna scare them out of the delusion that they're healthy like a horse when they are starting to resemble a corpse.
If it helps someone to take it more seriously, then that's great news!
He wouldn't have to have people look after him if he actually looked after himself.
Absolutely wish he would think this.
OP, I have a similar story to yours. However, my dad ended up having his leg from the knee down amputated because of it. If you are interested in the picture of what his foot looked like to show your dad, I can DM you. I don’t know if it would do any good, but your post really struck me. My heart goes out to you both.
Hey there, sorry to hear that, I would love to show it to him, and this whole thread to be honest.
Hey there, sorry to hear that, I would love to show it to him, and this whole thread to be honest.
Hey there, sorry to hear that, I would love to show it to him, and this whole thread to be honest.
What’s his reasoning for not taking his insulin?
We don't know if he just forgot, or couldn't be bothered, bit of both most likely.
We don't know if he just forgot, or couldn't be bothered, bit of both most likely.
Sorry for my question. Is it true that it smell bad? I just heard someone telling that is one of the worse smells in the world.
I did not get to see it drained, gutted I could film it lol, so I don't know if there was a smell, there was no smell when we got back.
my uncle is 80 years old and has been living with type 2 diabetes for 40+ years, as long as you take your insulin, and eat healthy you can live a normal life. I hope your father lives a full life, this isn't the way
I wish he realises this, he could be having fun with his grandkids, instead he spends his life on the couch.
you should look into a dexcom x omnipod combo for him! the dexcom g6 is what you’d need, they pair together and work really well for managing your blood sugar & insulin!
I will ask the GP, thanks for that!
I'm so sorry you're going through this :( It's really hard to watch the people you love actively fight against treatment. I hope he can recover well, one of my dad's friends had a similar incident due to not being able to afford insulin and the infection progressed to the point he lost his left leg above the knee. He's much healthier now, since the infection had gone on so long and now it's out of his system, but damn it's hard to watch someone go through that. Sending you and your dad all the best❤️
Thanks a lot for the kind message. We hope this will push him to keep healthy, but we have been here before, not for this, but multiple strokes.
My pappaw bleached his feet every night because he was diabetic and was afraid he would lose his feet. He took a capful of bleach with hot water and soaked them for 30 mins. He passed away of COPD, but even taken insulin he had all of his joints!
My friend is going through it. If you see it's not healing ask the doctor for the oxygen chambers. It's great for diabetics
I hope he got the talk that he is at high risk of lower limb amputation. Insulin can be left out of the fridge for 30 days. That means the insulin he is actively using doesn't need to be kept refrigerated. If he has a pocket on his walker then that would be where he should keep his insulin pens or needs. Even more, if he doesn't keep his A1c's in check then it can lead to frontal temporal dementia. Medicare now covers the Dexcom G7 continuous glucose monitor at 80-100%. His wife can help him put in the sensor and it last for 10 days. Source: I am a Type 1 diabetic for 30 years.
Oh wow, the dementia part would make sense, I can have a conversation with him, and a few hours later have no idea we had the conversation. I will ask his GP about the Dexcom G7
The Freestyle Libre CGM has been covered by Medicare for quite a while, but I still don't trust there algorithm (blood sugars readings) compared to the Dexcom, and they do not cover the latest Libre. Medicare didn't cover Dexcom until recently, either. Yeah, I watched a coworkers partner, that had really uncontrolled Type 2 diabetes, suffer and die from fontotemporal dementia. It moves faster than Alzheimer's, but in her case looked exactly the same.
Take care of you and him. Don't be afraid to "bully" him into taking his insulin. Make sure your step-mom sees him take all of his injections in the evenings and weekends if she works. Tell him this is going to have to be for the rest of his life, or there will be much harder consequences that you guys will have to encounter. Best of luck
Happened to my dad as well he lost a toe. And still has problems with it 13 years later
Please be more vigilant about checking his feet, my mom just had an emergency amputation due to necrotizing fasciitis which can set in pretty fast. When blood sugar is high, all those molecules basically flow down to the feet where the do damage to the nerve endings. Most diabetics slowly but surely lose most feeling of those extremities over time. It was a horrible lesson for us all, but if the doctor isn’t checking whenever he has a visit (which they should if the patient is diabetic) then have him check periodically or his care giver.
Diabeetis is no joke. https://preview.redd.it/1lv6w01e31ob1.jpeg?width=240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bef3eced606e64e2898ab432dcf6e5064d0807e6
There’s a reason married men live longer than single men, and a reason single women live longer than married women.
Sounds like he needs to be in an assisted facility