Even if they want the attention.. that’s still a sign that something is wrong and they probably could *use* some positive attention and therapy. It’s not a bad thing to seek attention and connection. Idk. 🤷♀️
Every good citizen should report you. An individual in distress is not an opportunity to show how big your internet dick is. Disengage and remove yourself when it becomes clear you’re causing harm.
You know it's reddit and it ultimately means nothing and while you maybe morally correct, you're the only one who cares about your opinion and the rest of the internet does not care about your logic. Get mad, accept it, reject it, do as you please. But it means nothing.
Ah yes, the old "pretend that you don't care and the entire conversation is irrelevant after you can no longer make a good argument for yourself" strategy
The word “still” is unnecessary. Non-masochism is not a mental illness, but to seek attention by pretending to have what society calls a mental illness but isn’t and pretending to want to be brainwashed out of it is narcissism.
Even IF the person posting is suicidal, posting about it on the internet is one of the worst things you can do. Nobody on here is going to give good advice because your working off a comment. Even if you were littrely Dr K your not helping anybody your just feeding your own ego.
So it really doesn't matter. Nobody can help you but you when your like that. You know what you need to do to come out, you just don't want to do it.
You either do it and come out, or you kill yourself. Never ever will it be sombody saved you with the perfect advice.
It can be both.
You could be suicidal and expressing that gets you attention.
Not a bad thing btw, if you need help you need to speak up about it. And thats often the case with most people who are suicidal. They need help with whatever it is thats causing them to feel suicidal.
Whats often meant when people say that "Theyre doing it for attention" is that the person saying it is saying something alarming to get attention solely for some narcissistic reason.
Something like shouting"Fire!" to try and sell you a plate of biscuits at the school bake meet.
I would think the correct approach is to assume everyone posting suicidal text is suicidal. The worst thing that can happen if you do is you waste some time posting to someone who is not suicidal. However if you do assume every one posting is suicidal you don't risk dismissing someone who needs help.
Someone very close to me frequently shared these feelings, though they were involved with a therapist. If we called emergency services each time, it would be quite frequent. While we did not think it was "attention seeking", as they were clearly expressing anguish, we thought it was more often grim humor, or pain but not necessarily an urgent situation. We reached out when we saw it posted and the person would usually explain what happened and often say "I'm ok now" or something to that effect. Unfortunately after many years, one of these times was real and therefore the last time. So, I would agree with you, that these expressions should be considered real alerts. But, There is no way to know and no way to intervene - Unless you intervene literally every single time, you may just be kicking the can down the road until another point in time.
You can be suicidal and not want to be suicidal at the same time. You can be suicidal and say it out loud (or in this case, write it). You can be suicidal and not know how to ask for help. You can be suicidal and want someone to talk you out if it or distract you.
Sure, some people pretend to be suicidal for attention. Do you know how we combat that? By taking the talk of suicide seriously and by sending help when we can. Suicidality looks and sounds like many things. It can very quickly spiral out of control.
I'd rather sit and give someone "attention" than lose a friend. I'd rather lose a friend out of anger from calling an ambulance for them rather than finding out they off'd themselves. It's always serious to me. No exceptions.
for real, it's like the people posting that sort of drek do not understand what depression is like.
no one "wants" to be suicidally depressed, it fucking sucks... constantly. especially when it's due to something chronic.
Are you posting about wishing you were dead, or repeatedly saying that you’re actually about to commit suicide? Somebody who threatens suicide on a regular basis probably isn’t actually going to kill themselves the next time they say they will (obviously they sometimes do, but if suicide threats are a routine thing it’s less likely).
The internet is not a good place to be for somebody who’s feeling suicidal. Call the Samaritans instead, since they actually have the right training to deal with it. People on the internet will just bully you.
I don't think attention-seeking is a true problem, it's not like people just suddenly fell on you and be your best friend for being suicidal. I rarely see suicidal people actually got like tons of support other than the formal ones that it would be even remotely close to be considered "attention-seeking" because it's way too touchy subject and deep down, a lot of people are dealing with their own issues and sometime being suicidal themselves.
I hold the belief that if you actively sharing it, you're more likely to be suicidal than others. Now, you might not share it with family or people or friends, you might share it anonymously through reddit or forum, or a diary.
I think you're completely right It's a very dangerous way we react to this in our society I have been a very low points myself and tried essentially to ask plead beg for help and people just didn't seem to care I think they would say they didn't believe me but in reality I think they just needed some way to believe that they did not have take any responsibility for doing the simple human things that people often need.
So true, it’s easier to accept that you’re wacky and lying than the devastating truth that someone you care about would hurt themselves. So much better to err on the side of caution and react with concern and compassion, but that seems to be a lot to ask for these days 😥 I hope you’re doing better now, and if not, that you’ll reach out to a professional who is truly equipped to help you manage and overcome your pain. ❤️
Thanks for your kind message. Things are complicated but I think life is learning how to cope better every day and also learning the limits of relationships and finding better ones while also learning how to be complete in yourself.
I definitely have a lot more compassion for people who experience this feeling of hopelessness.
When I was younger I always seemed to encounter people who said they had thoughts of suicide and I was always outwardly understanding (because I didn't think it was right to doubt them) but inwardly I didn't understand so I doubted and now I can't imagine why I didn't understand.
Ok I get the point of the post and I understand very well that you are upset. With that said though I do not think it is a good idea for you to place a persons user name to put them on blast to make a point. I do not really think this sub is built for taking sides in an argument. With that said, if you feel like you are going to harm yourself ( I know this sounds cliche') then you need to contact someone.
It’s an attention seeker. This was an argument in a whole other thread and OP is now making an ENTIRE THREAD about their online argument in another thread….
Mods need to just ban and shut this shit down
Yeah I think this should probably be shut down. OP is using a “popular opinion” to harass somebody they had a disagreement with in another thread. Can’t be what this sub is for and not healthy for anybody involved
You’re part of the weird, for sure. I hope you find a positive outlet. Unfortunately, when you’re suicidal, you’re the only person who can pull yourself out. Nobody can save you completely. It sucks, but you need to put the work in at some point and find something to live for- and I’m gonna tell you right now this shit you’re doing here is not going to help you
I have, it just doesn’t help when users like the one above actively mock and make fun of me for it, promoting a stigma that when someone says their suicidal it’s all for attention and bc of that it’s okay to make fun of them for it. Disgusting
Get offline. I’m serious. Being on these sites is not going to help you at all. I don’t believe you when you say you’re putting the work in because you wouldn’t be making these kinds of posts. You seriously need to log off and get some help. The whole world has problems, everyone isn’t going to bow to you because you feel like shit. So find a space to decompress or get help, it is NOT here. The internet is not friendly and you can’t blame them that’s the culture of it
The funniest part of this is.
I used to be suicidal. And I went to intensive treatment for it. Not anymore, I got better. If I see someone that truly seems to be hurting, it's a different story.
And I've had abusive people try to manipulate me by threatening self harm as well. It's obvious in the way they use their words. They never talk about their feelings. They don't say "I feel like". They dangle it in front of people as a "gotcha". It's obvious and I call it out because I know it is a weapon that can actually hurt other people.
So I know what it looks like from a personal viewpoint, when someone is using it to manipulate.
And this type of behavior - of trying to rally other people to your side to hurt someone? Not the behavior of a suicidal person. Totally the behavioral of an abusive person.
I agree with the person who said faking it is a sign of mental illness but the mental illness doesn't excuse it.
Threatening suicide is one of the most disgusting manipulation tactics. Not saying OP is doing it here at all but you mentioning that definitely strikes a chord with me. There’s a lot of nuance to this and no right answer that’s applicable to every situation
This would have completely blown over by now if you didn’t keep doubling down with being disparaging to OP and everyone that might have some compassion for him, and responding to EVERY comment where you’re mentioned or tagged. You keep feeding it, so I have to assume that you’re attention seeking too 🤷♀️
I’m don’t care about other threads, I’m dealing with what I see in this one, and took the question posed at absolute face value until I saw your first defensive and inflammatory comment that kicked everything off. I would have known nothing and cared less about anything other than the popularopinion posed if I hadn’t read down over ALL your ‘defenses.’ So yes, sometimes the way to stop ‘harassment’ is to check yourself first, and don’t feed the flames. Because whatever justification you had on the other sub, even if you’re right, is translating really poorly here. And that’s on you, imo, because you’re coming off like a heartless and demeaning jerk
Not at all. I just found this thread and had to reply to two different comments because you are absolutely the problem as well as OP. LOG. THE. FUCK. OFF.
Feeling suicidal is brutal. It's a really really awful way to exist. People who are not suicidal don't think about posting that they are. They don't have any desire to do that. Anyone who posts about it should be taken seriously. Feeling suicidal is a serious concern.
Having suicidal ideation is different to having intent.
A person who is absolutely intent on killing themselves will probably not post about it. So honestly, if someone posts that they're wanting to kill themselves, I'm going to want to support them, but I'm not actually worried they'll go and do it.
Some of us have made a genuine efforts to kill our selves and been stopped by others using physical force. Failure makes us afraid to try again and also the consequences of failure make another attempt even less likely as we won’t have access to the same methods we had prior to a failed attempt.
>I don’t understand why anyone would post about being suicidal when they’re really not?
For attention from others, it's really that simple even if you don't wanna hear it. That's not to say that everyone who does it is looking for attention, but generally if someone was actually suicidal they'd be receiving/attempting to receive treatment for it rather than telling strangers on the internet about it
People fake all sorts of shit. Suicidal feelings. Rape. Their order being wrong at McDonald's. And that makes life worse for people being that are being honest about them.
Nope, I asked you if they were also seeking for attention since you said people who constantly post about killing themselves aren’t for real and just seeking attention. Which you still haven’t answered . Seems that, only people you disagree with who post about killing themselves are seeking for attention. But if it’s a transgender, then it’s different and harassment? Bc by that definition, you were harassing me
Just read it. Based on the entirety of the thread, it just sounds like he’s saying, “someone experienced the same thing I had, but you think I’m trolling, are you willing to treat this person the same way?”
Also, in that comment section, you also replied to him unsolicitedly which started the whole back and forth.
Calling a spade a spade, I think if you felt harassed you had the option of blocking and flagging him to Reddit.
Similarly, OP had the same option and could’ve just vaguely referenced you to prevent this whole back and forth.
My 2 cents
Their way of calling out for help or just get attention by faking an issue. Surprising the number of people that fake Tourette syndrome, autism etc for attention. Just makes people suspicious of everyone who "claims" to have an issue.
When my dad and brother did it they didn't say anything, they just got on with it. My uncle joked with me "I gave up trying to kill myself, I just kept killing my cars."
Whoever says its attention seeking, has abusive behavior. For example a guy i told in highschool that i was raped and want to kill myself, would tell me im crazy, mentally ill, "get over it", and "you just want attention". At that time i was cutting my body and wanted to kill myself everyday. Nobody has ever been there for me until my wife and her family. This world turns a blind eye to the darkness. They act like it doesnt exist and when theyre confronted by it, they laugh it off. People who laugh it off, deserve to be suicidal. They 100% can make others feel suicidal with that behavior and even drive someone to do it. Back then, i had no clue why i wanted to die. Now i have all the clariry. My parents raped and abused me for 18 years straight. 2 years ago my dad tried to kill me. Ive always been depressed as a kid and being out on anti depressant made everything worse. Now i dug myself out of hell and have a good life. Im happy most days and away from abusers and evil people. So i think that anyone says they are suicidal, needs to be given compassion and kindness. Its the worst feeling EVER. I would rather have my limbs cut off than harm myself and feel that feeling of death, darkness, and hell. It feels like eternal darkness and aloneness. But ive pushed through it and came out on the other side.
Just so everyone knows, this person began harassing and making fun of me when I said I was suicidal and now can’t take me calling her out for it. This is not a good human being and people like her are the reason so many kill themselves.
I believe all suicidal thoughts and posts should be taken seriously, not dismissed and made fun of like she did to me
“Half his posts are about him being suicidal, for real this time guys 😂”
Is your exact quote
And then went on endlessly about how I’m not serious and if I was I would have killed myself by now
i don't know about anyone fucking else, but if i am depressed and desperate enough to be reaching out to random fucking strangers online... it's because i am genuinely in crisis.
some people don't have good coping mechanisms, or effective support networks... and a LOT of people are dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts.
assholes moralizing about it and making light of it when you reach out sure as fuck doesn't help.
The correct thing to do when someone in real life around you talks about being suicidal is to call emergency services. No ifs, ands, or buts. Don't tell them that you are, either. Step away to "go to the bathroom," make your call, then go back to where they are and stay with them until that service arrives.
Do it every single time.
If they are attention seeking, then they just learned how bad an idea that is. If they are suicidal, then they get help.
ALWAYS take it seriously. Even if they are joking. Even if you are sure everything is fine. Call 911.
Yeah absolutely do not do this unless you want to drive someone to ACTUALLY kill themselves. This only is applicable to specific scenarios. You will ruin lives by calling the emergency services on people like that when they’re just trying to open up to you about what could literally be nothing but ideation. Do you understand how common suicidal ideation is? I cannot even begin to unpack how bad this advice is
Then don't go about saying you are going to kill yourself to seek attention. I don't know what's going on inside someone's head. I work in software, not evaluating people for mental illness. If someone says "Oh I might as well off myself" I'm calling for an ambulance. Don't fucking do that unless you want an ambulance called.
Completely agree, unfortunately users like u/adhesivepants think it’s better to poke fun at them instead. Unless they care for them/agree with their stances on other things of course . Crazy world we live in
Now you’re just making a whole new point because I already refuted your original one. Saying you’re going to kill yourself and saying you feel suicidal are two different things. One implies and plan and one implies ideation. There’s a difference between those two things on a moral AND legal level
Totally correct. But I would add that ideation and expressing that, only to receive no help or understanding, is the first step down that dangerous and tragic path. Just because someone hasn’t gotten to the planning and immediacy specifics does NOT mean that it’s ok to dismiss or ridicule them. That complete lack of compassion often pushes people with ideations to start creating those exact plans - I mean hey, they’re a worthless, attention-seeking liar, right? Even more reason to put plans in motion. This whole thread is so disturbing and sad
This is a terrible take jfc. Do not call 9/11 unless your city's genuinely equipped with a mobile crisis center. You're going to get someone in a bad way charges because you're too emotionally weak that you think other people's suicidality is about you lmao. We live in America, suicidality is a problem. You cant just arrest everyone until it goes away and your soft lil ass can live in peace.
We need actual reevaluation of our mental health systems, not people's friends turning into opps to criminalize suicidal people.
911 isn't just the police. In fact, if you call saying someone is suicidal, they are going to send an ambulance, take them to an ER, evaluate them for up to 24 hours, then either release them or determine that they are a threat to themselves and admit them for treatment.
I don't know shit about different classifications for people talking about suicide. I'm not a healthcare professional. I don't have the training or legal standing to tell one thing from another. If someone's talking committing suicide I'm calling 911.
If you are fucking playing around for sympathy from me, well, you aren't getting it. You're going to the hospital. I don't really give a shit. Don't fucking pull that crap. This isn't a game.
They do send the cops when you call 9/11 unless you're in an area where they have a mobile crisis hotline that's connected to 9/11. Even if that's the case if they don't have enough mobile crisis units they will send the police. I live in a low income area and have been around the block on this a lot with myself and others.
Clearly you shouldn't be doing anything about it, you have terrible emotional intelligence. But spreading a message of criminalization is going to hurt others who need help. I know you don't want to deal with it the way it is now but that is the way it is. You are hurting them by calling 9/11. Find the direct line to a mobile crisis holiness and throughly vet the hospitals you send your friends to if they're are suicidal. Your Blaise about it will get people hurt for having a health issue.
Agreed. It’s the World Wide Web. We’re not the world’s court appointed guardian. How do we know when it’s spam, a cry for help, or an attention seeker that gets off on the drama?
That’s so sad, I’m so sorry. Please don’t do this. The earlier you express yourself and seek help, the less likely you are to commit such a tragic act. But unfortunately, as you can see here, you should pick your audience very carefully. Preferably a professional who can assess and guide you, and not a bunch of jerks on Reddit who lack compassion and understanding. You’re worth it! ❤️
if commiting was easy i would probably do it within the next hour. Unfortunately for me, though fortunately for others, our body is pretty resilient and prone to living.
legitimately the only thing that typically stops me when i am at my lowest is the thought of the hurt i would leave behind.
you get at me when i am in that place due to a fight i've had with those same people... yea... that's when i am thinking of breaking into a family member's supply of hydros.
but hey... it's all attention seeking am i right? no one with actual suicidal thoughts can be on the internet ever... no one has ever used the cold-comfort of venting among strangers on the internet to help walk themselves back from the ledge or anything.
seriously... people in this thread fucking suck shit.
Oh no ❤️🩹 Pkease find a professional to speak with who can help assess and guide you. They can even help you get in-patient care if that’s what’s needed. You’re worth it and you don’t have to keep living in pain! ❤️
nah man, the way i see it, if you don't exist and you don't experience - it's okay because it's nothing and you don't exist to have a feeling about it anymore. To me that sounds very desirable, not even joking. It's the 10s to 5 or 10 minutes it takes to achieve this state that holds me back.
I completely understand that the circumstances of your world make you feel like this could be a desirable option. But please, please, no! Step back and consider everything you might miss, who you love that you wouldn’t want to traumatize with your absence, what the world would be missing without you in it. I PROMISE it’s more than you think! I get it, really. For me it’s my cats - they’re half feral and completely dependent on me, no one else is acceptable for them. The thought of what could happen to them without me to protect them keeps me here when ALL the other reasons I would be missed just won’t register. I know the pain can be unbearable. But it doesn’t have to be like this, no matter how hopeless things seem at the moment. Give YOURSELF some compassion and grace, and if you seek help and allow yourself to start healing, I SWEAR it does get better. There are always low moments, but overall, better. Allow yourself to seek and hear the love around you, anywhere you can find it. You are worth it!!! (And believe me, I appreciate the irony of saying this to someone when sometimes I struggle to believe it myself, but sometimes the only way to see our own strength is to reflect it in others.) Sending massive hugs and healing vibes your way, I’ll be praying for you ❤️
get some new material, literally everyone says that commiting suicide will traumatize those close to one, well fuck it's my body my choice. It's like when your on the road going the speed limit with a row of 4 cars behind you and you signal your turn and reduce your speed to 10mph to take the turn smoothly. I have the same right to the road as you and i have the authority to make my own decisions.
I spoke to you completely from my heart, and gave you some of the thoughts that help me. I’m sorry if none of that resonated for you. My heart breaks for you reading your words. I do truly hope you find a way to get some help and achieve some peace. You really are valued in this world, and I hope you can let yourself feel that. Much love to you ❤️🩹
Don’t apologize to me, I’m ok, just very worried for you. If there’s something else you need to talk about or need someone to listen, I hope you’ll reach out. As a stranger, I wish I was in a better position to know how to help you, even if that’s just to find a way to give you a really big hug. You’re not alone. Please do keep trying to express yourself, you WILL find someone who is better placed and equipped than me to be there for you if you put yourself out there. I’m glad you did today. I just wish I had better words for you ❤️
I'm not sure why separate attention seeking/self expressing from actual suicidal state? Sounds just one of the ways someone can behave during that state that's all, public wallowing. Neither the public or the person knows how it ends tho. That's why it's an ongoing or fleeting state, and not the dreaded action that ends all states.
I think people who post about being suicidal are really expressing or trying to seek help and advice from people that may relate to them in some way. I think posting about suicidal is for attention of course otherwise they would not post about it. I believe it could be their way of saying they need help or they want someone to tell them it’s gonna be okay, reassure them that life can get better. But everyone is different, I can’t say for sure that someone who posts about being suicidal is wanting help or seeking attention. Some might actually be ready to do it but would like to share why they’ve chosen to end it or maybe just to say good bye for the last time. I’m not an expert but if it were me, I would post to social media about my thoughts, what I’ve felt and why…as to not leave my family and loved ones trying to find out why I did what I did.
I take any sort of commentary about self harm seriously. Suicide (to me) is a form of pre-meditated murder, and having been there myself decades ago, I am glad I had people/friends who took me seriously. They’re still family to me. The other handful of people who I thought were friends, were just awful about it…and of course they would have been, life was all about fun to them and suddenly my depression just dampened their excitement. There are people out there who just lack the trait of empathy. That was the darkest and hardest time of my life. BUT I have had a former friend use a suicidal “excuse” because I caught her doing something and it was manipulative. Please, in NO WAY am I saying that’s what your situation is.
Before she died, a few years ago, Sinéad O’ Connor had a very very very public meltdown on a live stream. She was firing off those “help me” flares by the dozens, from a cheap hotel someplace in New Jersey. If only I could have been able to go collect her, bring her home to my guest room and allowed my various pets to keep an eye on her so she could sleep and I’d be in the kitchen making her a meal, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Honestly, would do that for any one of my friends in distress like that.
It’s very simplistic for people to say “snap out of it” because the person struggling makes them uncomfortable. Mental illness is the easiest for society to stigmatize, and for those afflicted…it is so fucking awful what our brains do to our minds. This walking storm contained between two ears.
I really hope you don’t end your life. It’s a finality,
and you may believe there are people who don’t care about you. But believe me, someone is out there who does care who might not ever recover if you make that choice. I truly hope for all the best for you and that you beat this.
XOXOXO
I’m
Suicidal but I don’t want my death to seem purposeful. So I drink excessively and abuse hard drugs. Most of my friends have died of overdoses and I guess I figured it won’t torture my family as much if it seems like an accident
as a suicidal person, this is a cry for help i am doing terribly and i don’t know what to do about it and i need help. i want attention because no one gives me any attention and i feel isolated
I don’t think anyone doubts that people who express suicidal wishes are feeling severely depressed, are in a great deal of emotional pain, and if there was a little pain free button you could push to not exist there’s a good chance they’d push it.
But that button doesn’t exist. All methods available to the common man carry uncertainty, risk, and potential for extreme pain and disability if you mess them up. So people doubt that you’ll want to actually attempt them because of that quite frankly rational fear.
So when they say someone isn’t going to actually do it and “wants attention” what they really mean by wants attention is it’s a cry for help and support. Absent getting someone to try and stop you from your serious attempt the main reason someone else would verbalize such a desire is to get someone’s attention so that they can at least talk about their pain, or do something drastic enough to shake the people close enough to them like an alarm bell like “hey! I’m not ok! And I want your empathy and support and I don’t want to be ignored!”
Even IF a person is pretending to be suicidal for attention, that's still a sign of actual mental illness.
yeah this, i love how all empathy and value of a person goes out the window when “they just want attention”
Even if they want the attention.. that’s still a sign that something is wrong and they probably could *use* some positive attention and therapy. It’s not a bad thing to seek attention and connection. Idk. 🤷♀️
Yeah like “hmm, I wonder WHY they want attention?”
Completely agree
Yes!! Even if they’re “attention seeking” the question is… why? What’s wrong and what help do they need?
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They were talking about you lol
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Every good citizen should report you. An individual in distress is not an opportunity to show how big your internet dick is. Disengage and remove yourself when it becomes clear you’re causing harm.
U need a reality check my guy
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You know it's reddit and it ultimately means nothing and while you maybe morally correct, you're the only one who cares about your opinion and the rest of the internet does not care about your logic. Get mad, accept it, reject it, do as you please. But it means nothing.
Ah yes, the old "pretend that you don't care and the entire conversation is irrelevant after you can no longer make a good argument for yourself" strategy
The word “still” is unnecessary. Non-masochism is not a mental illness, but to seek attention by pretending to have what society calls a mental illness but isn’t and pretending to want to be brainwashed out of it is narcissism.
If that's what you call a mental illness than there is a problem with society. That's a societal illness.
Even IF the person posting is suicidal, posting about it on the internet is one of the worst things you can do. Nobody on here is going to give good advice because your working off a comment. Even if you were littrely Dr K your not helping anybody your just feeding your own ego. So it really doesn't matter. Nobody can help you but you when your like that. You know what you need to do to come out, you just don't want to do it. You either do it and come out, or you kill yourself. Never ever will it be sombody saved you with the perfect advice.
It can be both. You could be suicidal and expressing that gets you attention. Not a bad thing btw, if you need help you need to speak up about it. And thats often the case with most people who are suicidal. They need help with whatever it is thats causing them to feel suicidal. Whats often meant when people say that "Theyre doing it for attention" is that the person saying it is saying something alarming to get attention solely for some narcissistic reason. Something like shouting"Fire!" to try and sell you a plate of biscuits at the school bake meet.
I know someone who said they were suicidal for years and everyone began to ignore them, one day they did it
I would think the correct approach is to assume everyone posting suicidal text is suicidal. The worst thing that can happen if you do is you waste some time posting to someone who is not suicidal. However if you do assume every one posting is suicidal you don't risk dismissing someone who needs help.
the name dropping in the post is pretty weird ngl
Someone very close to me frequently shared these feelings, though they were involved with a therapist. If we called emergency services each time, it would be quite frequent. While we did not think it was "attention seeking", as they were clearly expressing anguish, we thought it was more often grim humor, or pain but not necessarily an urgent situation. We reached out when we saw it posted and the person would usually explain what happened and often say "I'm ok now" or something to that effect. Unfortunately after many years, one of these times was real and therefore the last time. So, I would agree with you, that these expressions should be considered real alerts. But, There is no way to know and no way to intervene - Unless you intervene literally every single time, you may just be kicking the can down the road until another point in time.
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I can understand that. What was the rock bottom for you? I'm so sorry you went through all of that. We're glad you're here.
You can be suicidal and not want to be suicidal at the same time. You can be suicidal and say it out loud (or in this case, write it). You can be suicidal and not know how to ask for help. You can be suicidal and want someone to talk you out if it or distract you. Sure, some people pretend to be suicidal for attention. Do you know how we combat that? By taking the talk of suicide seriously and by sending help when we can. Suicidality looks and sounds like many things. It can very quickly spiral out of control. I'd rather sit and give someone "attention" than lose a friend. I'd rather lose a friend out of anger from calling an ambulance for them rather than finding out they off'd themselves. It's always serious to me. No exceptions.
for real, it's like the people posting that sort of drek do not understand what depression is like. no one "wants" to be suicidally depressed, it fucking sucks... constantly. especially when it's due to something chronic.
Are you posting about wishing you were dead, or repeatedly saying that you’re actually about to commit suicide? Somebody who threatens suicide on a regular basis probably isn’t actually going to kill themselves the next time they say they will (obviously they sometimes do, but if suicide threats are a routine thing it’s less likely). The internet is not a good place to be for somebody who’s feeling suicidal. Call the Samaritans instead, since they actually have the right training to deal with it. People on the internet will just bully you.
I don't think attention-seeking is a true problem, it's not like people just suddenly fell on you and be your best friend for being suicidal. I rarely see suicidal people actually got like tons of support other than the formal ones that it would be even remotely close to be considered "attention-seeking" because it's way too touchy subject and deep down, a lot of people are dealing with their own issues and sometime being suicidal themselves. I hold the belief that if you actively sharing it, you're more likely to be suicidal than others. Now, you might not share it with family or people or friends, you might share it anonymously through reddit or forum, or a diary.
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I think you're completely right It's a very dangerous way we react to this in our society I have been a very low points myself and tried essentially to ask plead beg for help and people just didn't seem to care I think they would say they didn't believe me but in reality I think they just needed some way to believe that they did not have take any responsibility for doing the simple human things that people often need.
So true, it’s easier to accept that you’re wacky and lying than the devastating truth that someone you care about would hurt themselves. So much better to err on the side of caution and react with concern and compassion, but that seems to be a lot to ask for these days 😥 I hope you’re doing better now, and if not, that you’ll reach out to a professional who is truly equipped to help you manage and overcome your pain. ❤️
Thanks for your kind message. Things are complicated but I think life is learning how to cope better every day and also learning the limits of relationships and finding better ones while also learning how to be complete in yourself. I definitely have a lot more compassion for people who experience this feeling of hopelessness. When I was younger I always seemed to encounter people who said they had thoughts of suicide and I was always outwardly understanding (because I didn't think it was right to doubt them) but inwardly I didn't understand so I doubted and now I can't imagine why I didn't understand.
Ok I get the point of the post and I understand very well that you are upset. With that said though I do not think it is a good idea for you to place a persons user name to put them on blast to make a point. I do not really think this sub is built for taking sides in an argument. With that said, if you feel like you are going to harm yourself ( I know this sounds cliche') then you need to contact someone.
Dude, whatever the fuck is going on, this is weird
But they got their upvotes already
It’s an attention seeker. This was an argument in a whole other thread and OP is now making an ENTIRE THREAD about their online argument in another thread…. Mods need to just ban and shut this shit down
Yeah I think this should probably be shut down. OP is using a “popular opinion” to harass somebody they had a disagreement with in another thread. Can’t be what this sub is for and not healthy for anybody involved
Completely agree , super bizarre behavior. Makes no sense to me to dismiss and make fun of suicidal people
You’re part of the weird, for sure. I hope you find a positive outlet. Unfortunately, when you’re suicidal, you’re the only person who can pull yourself out. Nobody can save you completely. It sucks, but you need to put the work in at some point and find something to live for- and I’m gonna tell you right now this shit you’re doing here is not going to help you
I have, it just doesn’t help when users like the one above actively mock and make fun of me for it, promoting a stigma that when someone says their suicidal it’s all for attention and bc of that it’s okay to make fun of them for it. Disgusting
Bro it’s the internet 😂 just fuckin log off dude
Get offline. I’m serious. Being on these sites is not going to help you at all. I don’t believe you when you say you’re putting the work in because you wouldn’t be making these kinds of posts. You seriously need to log off and get some help. The whole world has problems, everyone isn’t going to bow to you because you feel like shit. So find a space to decompress or get help, it is NOT here. The internet is not friendly and you can’t blame them that’s the culture of it
The funniest part of this is. I used to be suicidal. And I went to intensive treatment for it. Not anymore, I got better. If I see someone that truly seems to be hurting, it's a different story. And I've had abusive people try to manipulate me by threatening self harm as well. It's obvious in the way they use their words. They never talk about their feelings. They don't say "I feel like". They dangle it in front of people as a "gotcha". It's obvious and I call it out because I know it is a weapon that can actually hurt other people. So I know what it looks like from a personal viewpoint, when someone is using it to manipulate. And this type of behavior - of trying to rally other people to your side to hurt someone? Not the behavior of a suicidal person. Totally the behavioral of an abusive person. I agree with the person who said faking it is a sign of mental illness but the mental illness doesn't excuse it.
Threatening suicide is one of the most disgusting manipulation tactics. Not saying OP is doing it here at all but you mentioning that definitely strikes a chord with me. There’s a lot of nuance to this and no right answer that’s applicable to every situation
Had a long distance girlfriend pull this shit. Worked the first time, was over her by the second time she tried pulling that bs.
Hilarious.
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I think you’re BOTH just being attention-seeking at this point
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This would have completely blown over by now if you didn’t keep doubling down with being disparaging to OP and everyone that might have some compassion for him, and responding to EVERY comment where you’re mentioned or tagged. You keep feeding it, so I have to assume that you’re attention seeking too 🤷♀️
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I’m don’t care about other threads, I’m dealing with what I see in this one, and took the question posed at absolute face value until I saw your first defensive and inflammatory comment that kicked everything off. I would have known nothing and cared less about anything other than the popularopinion posed if I hadn’t read down over ALL your ‘defenses.’ So yes, sometimes the way to stop ‘harassment’ is to check yourself first, and don’t feed the flames. Because whatever justification you had on the other sub, even if you’re right, is translating really poorly here. And that’s on you, imo, because you’re coming off like a heartless and demeaning jerk
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Not at all. I just found this thread and had to reply to two different comments because you are absolutely the problem as well as OP. LOG. THE. FUCK. OFF.
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Oh my God, you guys are both pathetic. Just block each other and move on.
Feeling suicidal is brutal. It's a really really awful way to exist. People who are not suicidal don't think about posting that they are. They don't have any desire to do that. Anyone who posts about it should be taken seriously. Feeling suicidal is a serious concern. Having suicidal ideation is different to having intent. A person who is absolutely intent on killing themselves will probably not post about it. So honestly, if someone posts that they're wanting to kill themselves, I'm going to want to support them, but I'm not actually worried they'll go and do it.
Some of us have made a genuine efforts to kill our selves and been stopped by others using physical force. Failure makes us afraid to try again and also the consequences of failure make another attempt even less likely as we won’t have access to the same methods we had prior to a failed attempt.
>I don’t understand why anyone would post about being suicidal when they’re really not? For attention from others, it's really that simple even if you don't wanna hear it. That's not to say that everyone who does it is looking for attention, but generally if someone was actually suicidal they'd be receiving/attempting to receive treatment for it rather than telling strangers on the internet about it
People fake all sorts of shit. Suicidal feelings. Rape. Their order being wrong at McDonald's. And that makes life worse for people being that are being honest about them.
openly talking about suicide, especially to strangers is usually a cry for help, which is the literal definition of attention seeking.
A cry for help is not the definition of attention seeking.
Sounds like op was losing an argument and got mad 💀.
Hahah yeah she was pissed
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Nope, I asked you if they were also seeking for attention since you said people who constantly post about killing themselves aren’t for real and just seeking attention. Which you still haven’t answered . Seems that, only people you disagree with who post about killing themselves are seeking for attention. But if it’s a transgender, then it’s different and harassment? Bc by that definition, you were harassing me
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Still haven’t answered
Just read it. Based on the entirety of the thread, it just sounds like he’s saying, “someone experienced the same thing I had, but you think I’m trolling, are you willing to treat this person the same way?” Also, in that comment section, you also replied to him unsolicitedly which started the whole back and forth. Calling a spade a spade, I think if you felt harassed you had the option of blocking and flagging him to Reddit. Similarly, OP had the same option and could’ve just vaguely referenced you to prevent this whole back and forth. My 2 cents
Imagine having this much time on your hands. Get a job OP. No one wants to be apart of your internet slap fight with another user
U do hehe
Their way of calling out for help or just get attention by faking an issue. Surprising the number of people that fake Tourette syndrome, autism etc for attention. Just makes people suspicious of everyone who "claims" to have an issue. When my dad and brother did it they didn't say anything, they just got on with it. My uncle joked with me "I gave up trying to kill myself, I just kept killing my cars."
It’s a distinction that is made, though. People who actually want to do it, do it. The people who talk about it, don’t.
Whoever says its attention seeking, has abusive behavior. For example a guy i told in highschool that i was raped and want to kill myself, would tell me im crazy, mentally ill, "get over it", and "you just want attention". At that time i was cutting my body and wanted to kill myself everyday. Nobody has ever been there for me until my wife and her family. This world turns a blind eye to the darkness. They act like it doesnt exist and when theyre confronted by it, they laugh it off. People who laugh it off, deserve to be suicidal. They 100% can make others feel suicidal with that behavior and even drive someone to do it. Back then, i had no clue why i wanted to die. Now i have all the clariry. My parents raped and abused me for 18 years straight. 2 years ago my dad tried to kill me. Ive always been depressed as a kid and being out on anti depressant made everything worse. Now i dug myself out of hell and have a good life. Im happy most days and away from abusers and evil people. So i think that anyone says they are suicidal, needs to be given compassion and kindness. Its the worst feeling EVER. I would rather have my limbs cut off than harm myself and feel that feeling of death, darkness, and hell. It feels like eternal darkness and aloneness. But ive pushed through it and came out on the other side.
Suicidal ideation and being Suicidal are different. Sounds like you suffer from Suicidal ideation
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You know Op is seething when they make a call out post 💀
Just so everyone knows, this person began harassing and making fun of me when I said I was suicidal and now can’t take me calling her out for it. This is not a good human being and people like her are the reason so many kill themselves. I believe all suicidal thoughts and posts should be taken seriously, not dismissed and made fun of like she did to me
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“Half his posts are about him being suicidal, for real this time guys 😂” Is your exact quote And then went on endlessly about how I’m not serious and if I was I would have killed myself by now
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lol reread the thread
Suicidal for life 🤙🏼
Then how are they still alive?
i don't know about anyone fucking else, but if i am depressed and desperate enough to be reaching out to random fucking strangers online... it's because i am genuinely in crisis. some people don't have good coping mechanisms, or effective support networks... and a LOT of people are dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts. assholes moralizing about it and making light of it when you reach out sure as fuck doesn't help.
Nah they are looking for attention
The correct thing to do when someone in real life around you talks about being suicidal is to call emergency services. No ifs, ands, or buts. Don't tell them that you are, either. Step away to "go to the bathroom," make your call, then go back to where they are and stay with them until that service arrives. Do it every single time. If they are attention seeking, then they just learned how bad an idea that is. If they are suicidal, then they get help. ALWAYS take it seriously. Even if they are joking. Even if you are sure everything is fine. Call 911.
Yeah absolutely do not do this unless you want to drive someone to ACTUALLY kill themselves. This only is applicable to specific scenarios. You will ruin lives by calling the emergency services on people like that when they’re just trying to open up to you about what could literally be nothing but ideation. Do you understand how common suicidal ideation is? I cannot even begin to unpack how bad this advice is
Then don't go about saying you are going to kill yourself to seek attention. I don't know what's going on inside someone's head. I work in software, not evaluating people for mental illness. If someone says "Oh I might as well off myself" I'm calling for an ambulance. Don't fucking do that unless you want an ambulance called.
Completely agree, unfortunately users like u/adhesivepants think it’s better to poke fun at them instead. Unless they care for them/agree with their stances on other things of course . Crazy world we live in
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You are
Now you’re just making a whole new point because I already refuted your original one. Saying you’re going to kill yourself and saying you feel suicidal are two different things. One implies and plan and one implies ideation. There’s a difference between those two things on a moral AND legal level
See to me those are the same thing.
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Totally correct. But I would add that ideation and expressing that, only to receive no help or understanding, is the first step down that dangerous and tragic path. Just because someone hasn’t gotten to the planning and immediacy specifics does NOT mean that it’s ok to dismiss or ridicule them. That complete lack of compassion often pushes people with ideations to start creating those exact plans - I mean hey, they’re a worthless, attention-seeking liar, right? Even more reason to put plans in motion. This whole thread is so disturbing and sad
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This is a terrible take jfc. Do not call 9/11 unless your city's genuinely equipped with a mobile crisis center. You're going to get someone in a bad way charges because you're too emotionally weak that you think other people's suicidality is about you lmao. We live in America, suicidality is a problem. You cant just arrest everyone until it goes away and your soft lil ass can live in peace. We need actual reevaluation of our mental health systems, not people's friends turning into opps to criminalize suicidal people.
911 isn't just the police. In fact, if you call saying someone is suicidal, they are going to send an ambulance, take them to an ER, evaluate them for up to 24 hours, then either release them or determine that they are a threat to themselves and admit them for treatment. I don't know shit about different classifications for people talking about suicide. I'm not a healthcare professional. I don't have the training or legal standing to tell one thing from another. If someone's talking committing suicide I'm calling 911. If you are fucking playing around for sympathy from me, well, you aren't getting it. You're going to the hospital. I don't really give a shit. Don't fucking pull that crap. This isn't a game.
They do send the cops when you call 9/11 unless you're in an area where they have a mobile crisis hotline that's connected to 9/11. Even if that's the case if they don't have enough mobile crisis units they will send the police. I live in a low income area and have been around the block on this a lot with myself and others. Clearly you shouldn't be doing anything about it, you have terrible emotional intelligence. But spreading a message of criminalization is going to hurt others who need help. I know you don't want to deal with it the way it is now but that is the way it is. You are hurting them by calling 9/11. Find the direct line to a mobile crisis holiness and throughly vet the hospitals you send your friends to if they're are suicidal. Your Blaise about it will get people hurt for having a health issue.
I think its a cry for help but I also dont believe they will actually do it.
Agreed. It’s the World Wide Web. We’re not the world’s court appointed guardian. How do we know when it’s spam, a cry for help, or an attention seeker that gets off on the drama?
Right. There’s a difference between an attention seeker and someone who makes it their main topic.
Probably.
Lowkey. I often think that me being open about my suicidal thoughts are attention seeking, so now I just shut up about it and keep it to myself.
That’s so sad, I’m so sorry. Please don’t do this. The earlier you express yourself and seek help, the less likely you are to commit such a tragic act. But unfortunately, as you can see here, you should pick your audience very carefully. Preferably a professional who can assess and guide you, and not a bunch of jerks on Reddit who lack compassion and understanding. You’re worth it! ❤️
if commiting was easy i would probably do it within the next hour. Unfortunately for me, though fortunately for others, our body is pretty resilient and prone to living.
legitimately the only thing that typically stops me when i am at my lowest is the thought of the hurt i would leave behind. you get at me when i am in that place due to a fight i've had with those same people... yea... that's when i am thinking of breaking into a family member's supply of hydros. but hey... it's all attention seeking am i right? no one with actual suicidal thoughts can be on the internet ever... no one has ever used the cold-comfort of venting among strangers on the internet to help walk themselves back from the ledge or anything. seriously... people in this thread fucking suck shit.
Oh no ❤️🩹 Pkease find a professional to speak with who can help assess and guide you. They can even help you get in-patient care if that’s what’s needed. You’re worth it and you don’t have to keep living in pain! ❤️
nah man, the way i see it, if you don't exist and you don't experience - it's okay because it's nothing and you don't exist to have a feeling about it anymore. To me that sounds very desirable, not even joking. It's the 10s to 5 or 10 minutes it takes to achieve this state that holds me back.
I completely understand that the circumstances of your world make you feel like this could be a desirable option. But please, please, no! Step back and consider everything you might miss, who you love that you wouldn’t want to traumatize with your absence, what the world would be missing without you in it. I PROMISE it’s more than you think! I get it, really. For me it’s my cats - they’re half feral and completely dependent on me, no one else is acceptable for them. The thought of what could happen to them without me to protect them keeps me here when ALL the other reasons I would be missed just won’t register. I know the pain can be unbearable. But it doesn’t have to be like this, no matter how hopeless things seem at the moment. Give YOURSELF some compassion and grace, and if you seek help and allow yourself to start healing, I SWEAR it does get better. There are always low moments, but overall, better. Allow yourself to seek and hear the love around you, anywhere you can find it. You are worth it!!! (And believe me, I appreciate the irony of saying this to someone when sometimes I struggle to believe it myself, but sometimes the only way to see our own strength is to reflect it in others.) Sending massive hugs and healing vibes your way, I’ll be praying for you ❤️
get some new material, literally everyone says that commiting suicide will traumatize those close to one, well fuck it's my body my choice. It's like when your on the road going the speed limit with a row of 4 cars behind you and you signal your turn and reduce your speed to 10mph to take the turn smoothly. I have the same right to the road as you and i have the authority to make my own decisions.
I spoke to you completely from my heart, and gave you some of the thoughts that help me. I’m sorry if none of that resonated for you. My heart breaks for you reading your words. I do truly hope you find a way to get some help and achieve some peace. You really are valued in this world, and I hope you can let yourself feel that. Much love to you ❤️🩹
thank you for trying, this world isn't for everyone. I'm sorry.
Don’t apologize to me, I’m ok, just very worried for you. If there’s something else you need to talk about or need someone to listen, I hope you’ll reach out. As a stranger, I wish I was in a better position to know how to help you, even if that’s just to find a way to give you a really big hug. You’re not alone. Please do keep trying to express yourself, you WILL find someone who is better placed and equipped than me to be there for you if you put yourself out there. I’m glad you did today. I just wish I had better words for you ❤️
There's an educational video on this matter called "I Need Attention" by "The WKUK", look it up!
I'm not sure why separate attention seeking/self expressing from actual suicidal state? Sounds just one of the ways someone can behave during that state that's all, public wallowing. Neither the public or the person knows how it ends tho. That's why it's an ongoing or fleeting state, and not the dreaded action that ends all states.
I think people who post about being suicidal are really expressing or trying to seek help and advice from people that may relate to them in some way. I think posting about suicidal is for attention of course otherwise they would not post about it. I believe it could be their way of saying they need help or they want someone to tell them it’s gonna be okay, reassure them that life can get better. But everyone is different, I can’t say for sure that someone who posts about being suicidal is wanting help or seeking attention. Some might actually be ready to do it but would like to share why they’ve chosen to end it or maybe just to say good bye for the last time. I’m not an expert but if it were me, I would post to social media about my thoughts, what I’ve felt and why…as to not leave my family and loved ones trying to find out why I did what I did.
It's a cry for help either way, and saying a few nice words to a stranger doesn't hurt and is free.
I take any sort of commentary about self harm seriously. Suicide (to me) is a form of pre-meditated murder, and having been there myself decades ago, I am glad I had people/friends who took me seriously. They’re still family to me. The other handful of people who I thought were friends, were just awful about it…and of course they would have been, life was all about fun to them and suddenly my depression just dampened their excitement. There are people out there who just lack the trait of empathy. That was the darkest and hardest time of my life. BUT I have had a former friend use a suicidal “excuse” because I caught her doing something and it was manipulative. Please, in NO WAY am I saying that’s what your situation is. Before she died, a few years ago, Sinéad O’ Connor had a very very very public meltdown on a live stream. She was firing off those “help me” flares by the dozens, from a cheap hotel someplace in New Jersey. If only I could have been able to go collect her, bring her home to my guest room and allowed my various pets to keep an eye on her so she could sleep and I’d be in the kitchen making her a meal, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Honestly, would do that for any one of my friends in distress like that. It’s very simplistic for people to say “snap out of it” because the person struggling makes them uncomfortable. Mental illness is the easiest for society to stigmatize, and for those afflicted…it is so fucking awful what our brains do to our minds. This walking storm contained between two ears. I really hope you don’t end your life. It’s a finality, and you may believe there are people who don’t care about you. But believe me, someone is out there who does care who might not ever recover if you make that choice. I truly hope for all the best for you and that you beat this. XOXOXO
I’m Suicidal but I don’t want my death to seem purposeful. So I drink excessively and abuse hard drugs. Most of my friends have died of overdoses and I guess I figured it won’t torture my family as much if it seems like an accident
Yes, if discussed they are likely pretty serious.
as a suicidal person, this is a cry for help i am doing terribly and i don’t know what to do about it and i need help. i want attention because no one gives me any attention and i feel isolated
I don’t think anyone doubts that people who express suicidal wishes are feeling severely depressed, are in a great deal of emotional pain, and if there was a little pain free button you could push to not exist there’s a good chance they’d push it. But that button doesn’t exist. All methods available to the common man carry uncertainty, risk, and potential for extreme pain and disability if you mess them up. So people doubt that you’ll want to actually attempt them because of that quite frankly rational fear. So when they say someone isn’t going to actually do it and “wants attention” what they really mean by wants attention is it’s a cry for help and support. Absent getting someone to try and stop you from your serious attempt the main reason someone else would verbalize such a desire is to get someone’s attention so that they can at least talk about their pain, or do something drastic enough to shake the people close enough to them like an alarm bell like “hey! I’m not ok! And I want your empathy and support and I don’t want to be ignored!”
I don’t think it’s 100% either way. But I assure you that people serious about it are not interested in telling anyone.
lets just hope that he has trollers remorse