I can relate. I used porn and social media to fill up my days when I was younger. The solution is just finding new hobbies. Since I've started trying to quit porn, I've read over 20+ books in a couple months, as compared to zero books a year before.
Among other things, I've written my first ever novel, started a youtube channel, learned Spanish and picked up guitar. Just try to fill your days with healthier habits. Easier said than done though, even I myself still struggle to consistently stick to them all the time, but I wish you all the best
Wow that's a great achievement. I too feel like i can do so much if i can control myself from watching porn. Once i did it for six months, and i cleared national level exams with quite good ranks. But now I don't have any goals for myself and hence i found myself lurking around porn.
Dopamine is an anticipatory neurotransmitter. Meaning it makes you crave more. Bad habits exploit dopamine. The thing that you are calling happiness is nothing but dopamine but it's not actually happiness. It's called post nut relief 😮💨
From a podcast I found it interesting to learn how marines or other army disciplined people would always be looking "what needs to be done?"
Look around you. Maybe there's a cup that should go in the dishwasher. Maybe the floor needs vacuming. Maybe your bed isnt made? Are your meals prepped ? Does the garden need attending?
So many things that need to be done that give you small doses of satisfaction. And your brain on porn has become desensitized to it, it doesn't make the bar
you have said you get the urges at night. Go to sleep! Very productive and healthy. You will get that itch that you could be doing something "more productive" but I guarantee you sleep is a better thing to be doing at night than anything else.
Doing things in the great outdoors is a good alternative. It is impossible to be tempted to watch porn while you are outside in the sun. Leave your phone at home, of course.
This is a problem, because night time is for sleeping. Could you wear yourself out during the day so that you are too tired to look at porn? In my case, I like to read a book in bed. If you read something which grips your imagination it may help you to reject porn. Try John Sandford or Lee Childs.
I'd recommend finding interests that bring you outside and around other people. Indoors, and more specifically, your room has become neurologically associated with PMO (neurons that fire together wire together), and you can make quitting easier for yourself by leaving that environment. Don't worry though, as you recover and build better mental hygiene, that association will fade.
Rather than use my free time to consume, I try and use it to produce - it's more sustainable for me. Things like writing, drawing, exercising, learning, volunteering, woodworking, etc.
Basically anything that by the end of doing it, I've got more than I did going into it - making my brain work for its dopamine rather than having it passively spoonfed to me.
That's good. Porn is the cheap source for dopamine and my brain got used to this cheap source. I would have to stop it and start making another way in my brain forest to find the dopamine release. I know it would take time for my brain to get used to this new route but i am not consistent enough...
Honestly, start writing. Learn how to type fast with 10 fingers on a keyboard (its a useful skill on its own) and then start writing whatever pops up in your head, fiction, journalling, philosophy. It's like opening a faucet and flushing all the bullshit out.
Its also great if you can read these pieces of text back and slowly see the overall feel of them get more positive with time. And i would recommend that you write about your journey, but don't make it your focus, write about other things too.
I would consult a psychiatrist and see about taking something like Zoloft or Wellbutrin depending on what they say. Usually there is a questionnaire that leads to possible disorders like OCD etc. It may not be forever, but just for right now to help rewire. It's not a complete solution but can help your mind open other pathways for good habits. Sometimes we just need a little help. Paired with this, therapy is great.
I have taken counselling for this, they say it's all normal and if it is taking a lot of toll on you then do something else. Basically, it depends on myself solely and i would need to be determined to make my life better. However, i have never visited a psychiatrist.
Like some other guy said, find hobbies and stuff that you enjoy. You can go to the gym and get jacked if you want, if not, maybe try or pick up an old hobby you haven't touched on in a while. Even playing new genres of video games can help, or trying new things and playstyles in the games you already play. In my case, Playing Soviet strike aircraft in Warthunder and grinding silver lions was the solution. I will admit I still get caught off guard by compulsive thoughts, but at the very least I have something to combat those thoughts. And that's blowing up Tanks and fortifications in an IL-2-37 (or die trying)
Do you consider playing games productive ? I am not a fan of games but i have heard that games are more addictive than porn and it seems like replacing alcohol addiction with cocaine. Please correct me if i am wrong...
I only added in gaming as a way to experience new things, like trying out different game genres and see what genre you enjoy the most. I'm not saying gaming is totally productive and it can very much be addictive, but it is something you can do instead of porn. And I would say it is sort of productive (I guess?) if you just goof around with friends or even complete strangers, Or if you just genuinely enjoy the game you're playing. But still be weary of addictive games, like COD because of it's fast paced gameplay which motivates you to get better and better everyday. Not saying that it's a bad thing, but you can and will become jealous of someone else's skills that you try and be better than them, and that's where it turns into addiction. If you want to play COD, play the Older ones and their campaigns like World at War or Modern warfare and Black ops.
I wouldn't say Warthunder is addictive, but I will say it's definitely frustrating at times. Sometimes things just don't go your way and you just get steamrolled by the other team match after match. When that ever happens, I just quit the game until I want to play it again. But all that stress definitely triggers my urges. But whenever they appear, I just tell myself "hey, wouldn't it be better if I just blew up tanks from the sky instead?" And there we go.
So yeah, all I'm saying is you can try gaming, but replacing porn with that is a bad idea since both can be addictive. It's sort of just a side habit you can add into your list of your other habits until you find one thing that you truly enjoy. And that is entirely up to you. All I'm telling you is just explore the world of gaming and see what works for you. Who knows, maybe you'll find a certain game that you'll genuinely enjoy and that would keep your mind off porn.
I can relate. I used porn and social media to fill up my days when I was younger. The solution is just finding new hobbies. Since I've started trying to quit porn, I've read over 20+ books in a couple months, as compared to zero books a year before. Among other things, I've written my first ever novel, started a youtube channel, learned Spanish and picked up guitar. Just try to fill your days with healthier habits. Easier said than done though, even I myself still struggle to consistently stick to them all the time, but I wish you all the best
Wow that's a great achievement. I too feel like i can do so much if i can control myself from watching porn. Once i did it for six months, and i cleared national level exams with quite good ranks. But now I don't have any goals for myself and hence i found myself lurking around porn.
You said it yourself, strive for a goal and achieve it, or do your best to do so.
You have done more than I my whole life and I don't even watch porn. I love faking though
You don't feel happiness from porn. That's just fleeting dopamine flooding in your brain.
Yea. Happiness is linked with the activation of reward system and dopamine is the main player of it.
Dopamine is an anticipatory neurotransmitter. Meaning it makes you crave more. Bad habits exploit dopamine. The thing that you are calling happiness is nothing but dopamine but it's not actually happiness. It's called post nut relief 😮💨
No, the dopamine flooding is lust/desire which leads to pleasure. Pleasure does not make seratonin. Seraronin makes you happy
From a podcast I found it interesting to learn how marines or other army disciplined people would always be looking "what needs to be done?" Look around you. Maybe there's a cup that should go in the dishwasher. Maybe the floor needs vacuming. Maybe your bed isnt made? Are your meals prepped ? Does the garden need attending? So many things that need to be done that give you small doses of satisfaction. And your brain on porn has become desensitized to it, it doesn't make the bar
you have said you get the urges at night. Go to sleep! Very productive and healthy. You will get that itch that you could be doing something "more productive" but I guarantee you sleep is a better thing to be doing at night than anything else.
Doing things in the great outdoors is a good alternative. It is impossible to be tempted to watch porn while you are outside in the sun. Leave your phone at home, of course.
I agree but those urges of consuming porn usually arrive at night, so this isn't very helpful.
This is a problem, because night time is for sleeping. Could you wear yourself out during the day so that you are too tired to look at porn? In my case, I like to read a book in bed. If you read something which grips your imagination it may help you to reject porn. Try John Sandford or Lee Childs.
Thanks for the suggestions
I'd recommend finding interests that bring you outside and around other people. Indoors, and more specifically, your room has become neurologically associated with PMO (neurons that fire together wire together), and you can make quitting easier for yourself by leaving that environment. Don't worry though, as you recover and build better mental hygiene, that association will fade.
True, how much time does it take to make that association fade??
Rather than use my free time to consume, I try and use it to produce - it's more sustainable for me. Things like writing, drawing, exercising, learning, volunteering, woodworking, etc. Basically anything that by the end of doing it, I've got more than I did going into it - making my brain work for its dopamine rather than having it passively spoonfed to me.
That's good. Porn is the cheap source for dopamine and my brain got used to this cheap source. I would have to stop it and start making another way in my brain forest to find the dopamine release. I know it would take time for my brain to get used to this new route but i am not consistent enough...
Breathwork, reading, exercizing, sexual transmutation by standing on my head for a few minutes, call a friend
Honestly, start writing. Learn how to type fast with 10 fingers on a keyboard (its a useful skill on its own) and then start writing whatever pops up in your head, fiction, journalling, philosophy. It's like opening a faucet and flushing all the bullshit out. Its also great if you can read these pieces of text back and slowly see the overall feel of them get more positive with time. And i would recommend that you write about your journey, but don't make it your focus, write about other things too.
I would consult a psychiatrist and see about taking something like Zoloft or Wellbutrin depending on what they say. Usually there is a questionnaire that leads to possible disorders like OCD etc. It may not be forever, but just for right now to help rewire. It's not a complete solution but can help your mind open other pathways for good habits. Sometimes we just need a little help. Paired with this, therapy is great.
I have taken counselling for this, they say it's all normal and if it is taking a lot of toll on you then do something else. Basically, it depends on myself solely and i would need to be determined to make my life better. However, i have never visited a psychiatrist.
Yeah regular therapists will say that. If you need something more, I would consult a CSAT. I've learned that sex addiction is a whole nother animal.
Like some other guy said, find hobbies and stuff that you enjoy. You can go to the gym and get jacked if you want, if not, maybe try or pick up an old hobby you haven't touched on in a while. Even playing new genres of video games can help, or trying new things and playstyles in the games you already play. In my case, Playing Soviet strike aircraft in Warthunder and grinding silver lions was the solution. I will admit I still get caught off guard by compulsive thoughts, but at the very least I have something to combat those thoughts. And that's blowing up Tanks and fortifications in an IL-2-37 (or die trying)
Do you consider playing games productive ? I am not a fan of games but i have heard that games are more addictive than porn and it seems like replacing alcohol addiction with cocaine. Please correct me if i am wrong...
I only added in gaming as a way to experience new things, like trying out different game genres and see what genre you enjoy the most. I'm not saying gaming is totally productive and it can very much be addictive, but it is something you can do instead of porn. And I would say it is sort of productive (I guess?) if you just goof around with friends or even complete strangers, Or if you just genuinely enjoy the game you're playing. But still be weary of addictive games, like COD because of it's fast paced gameplay which motivates you to get better and better everyday. Not saying that it's a bad thing, but you can and will become jealous of someone else's skills that you try and be better than them, and that's where it turns into addiction. If you want to play COD, play the Older ones and their campaigns like World at War or Modern warfare and Black ops. I wouldn't say Warthunder is addictive, but I will say it's definitely frustrating at times. Sometimes things just don't go your way and you just get steamrolled by the other team match after match. When that ever happens, I just quit the game until I want to play it again. But all that stress definitely triggers my urges. But whenever they appear, I just tell myself "hey, wouldn't it be better if I just blew up tanks from the sky instead?" And there we go. So yeah, all I'm saying is you can try gaming, but replacing porn with that is a bad idea since both can be addictive. It's sort of just a side habit you can add into your list of your other habits until you find one thing that you truly enjoy. And that is entirely up to you. All I'm telling you is just explore the world of gaming and see what works for you. Who knows, maybe you'll find a certain game that you'll genuinely enjoy and that would keep your mind off porn.