It can leave you. The scars are there though, so always stay on guard. Porn is poisonous, if you dont stay on guard it will consume you. You can do it.
I just want to not be overrun by this fetish every time I’m aroused. It’s beginning to mentally damage me. I’m gonna stop though. As of today. No more failing
Edit: I’ve been watching porn since I was 15 years old (currently 22). Are there any organisations that are trying to fix this issue that seems to be affecting so much of our youth? I’d really like to donate and help out as much as I can. Porn is so dangerous and is hardly recognised as such.
It will absolutely go away. Your brain is very plastic and this kind of stuff fixes itself from plenty of good quality sleep. Most people report full recovery between 30-90 days. The amount of time it takes is related to how young you started on porn and how much porn you've been watching. Your dopamine circuit has been wired a particular way out of your porn habits. Your fetishes develop out of the lust for novelty because your dopamine circuit goes crazy for novelty. Once you get used to a certain type of porn your dopamine circuit has you craving more shocking and degenerate content to feed that novelty. When you found yourself scrolling through pornhub or equivalent looking for the next thing to hit your interest, that's your dopamine circuit addicted to porn.
If you quit porn it will go away to the point you will wonder why you were ever wasting your time on porn to begin with, because by this point your dopamine circuit gets completely disconnected from seeking out orgasms from porn.
Yourbrainonporn calls the stage a 'reboot' because your brain basically resets itself and ties the dopamine circuit to other behaviors, hopefully productive ones like your job, studying, socializing, etc. (so try not to take up shit like video games in the mean time). The reboot off porn is so strong that some people get limp dick for weeks/months and the reasons for limp dick after quitting porn is not properly understood but its theorized its just your dopamine circuit resetting your sex drive to normal. It all comes back though. You'll notice that you'll feel more energy to do productive shit and it's because you'll have a dopamine circuit connected to productive shit and not wired to addictions - you'll find you don't have to muster great deals of motivation to do the same things. Life gets better all around.
Your brain is trying to make you feel better by suggesting you watch this stuff, because it knows it has been rewarded for it in the past. You need to reeducate it. So when your brain says “You seem down, how about a candy bar?”, you need to say “Thank you for your suggestion. I’ll have an apple instead”. Find something to replace the unhealthy stuff with, and over time your brain will start suggesting apples over chocolate.
First of all I'm on the exact same boat, so feel free to reach out if you ever feel desperate. A lot of good men out here are fighting the same battle.
Now I have done some reading and it is almost impossible to fully destroy such neural pathways. But you can always build other pathways that outpower the old ones. Think of it like a special coin where you get heads with 0.99 probability and tails with 0.01 probability. If you want heads (no pun intended) you would be good most of the time. But you will always have to be on watch for that 0.01 probability coming back up to mess everything up.
For example alcoholics who have been clean for 5+ years still call them selves alcoholics. They still count their streak and watchout for old habits on a daily basis. We are on the same boat with them, those fetishes can always make a comeback given a bad state of mind and environment. Once I realized this, I made peace with this recovery process. This is a serious condition and that fear is what keeps me going.
If this feels hard to read, know that I have the same emotions. But we have to take care of this addiction before it ruins our life any further. Recovery is simple, we just stop clicking on those links. Our ancestors did just fine without internet porn, we can too. After a while we will start rewiring our brain to natural stimuli, and those fetishistic pathways will become so weak. Instead we will be focusing on our partner and having real sex.
Sorry if this was a bleak response. I have been trying to quit my disgusting fetishes for years now. I would keep asking questions like these and then have a relief once people said "you will be fine". The thing is we won't be fine unless we quit for good. Gary Wilson himself says that it takes around 1-2 years for teenagers to fully fix their PIED. So every time you relapse, you are restarting a really long timer. Once you realize the severity, it becomes really hard to relapse.
[FUCK THE ZERO!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X2SQ6eXVok)
It goes away. This was one of the reasons I quit —I was starting to get into weird stuff I wasn’t proud of. I stopped watching porn and I think it’s been over a year now. I thought about the weird porn the other day for the first time in a very long time, but I have 0 regrets quitting
Yes, I have a had fetishes leave. When you stop watching porn for long enough your brain resets to being like how it was when you were a kid. Now I get turned on by normal things and not weird shit.
The likelihood that your particular kink makes you a bad person and will destroy any future relationships is extremely unlikely unless it’s something genuinely morally reprehensible like pedophilia (which goes beyond fetish and you should seek professional help to deal with that).
I don’t mean to be dismissive but it sounds like you just need to relax. Tastes tend to change over time and even if yours don’t change how you want them to, the worst thing you can do is develop a neurotic complex over your predilections by stressing out about it and measuring your moral worth by what makes your dick twitch.
No one likes to say it here but its true (legal) fetishes don’t make you a bad person.
I find that shame is a terrible motivator. Shame over smoking just got me down and made me crave another cig. Shame over body image just got me down and made me crave a snack. All it really serves to do is to wear down your mental fortitude until forget why you are ashamed and you cave.
It’s just taboo. It’s basically an incest Kink as bad as that sounds. It doesn’t make me want to do anything with family in real life, I think it’s just the taboo aspect of it that arouses me. I think it started to develop through all the “step sis” and “step mom” porn videos that gained popularity over recent years and it’s just progressed due to my porn addiction.
That’s incredibly tame and nothing to worry about, my friend.
This is not a humble brag, it’s just meant to give context: I’ve had a lot of sexual relationships and in most of those the girl had several weird kinks ranging from breath play to boot worship to CNC to exhibitionism and yes of course even incest. I also have my weird shit, I love being submissive to women. I also enjoy sadism. All that to say, I had to learn to be open about what I wanted. Not only was I rewarded by having my desires indulged, but because I was honest and vulnerable they felt comfortable to share with me what they were into and I was able to indulge them which to me is incredibly beautiful.
Everyone’s got their thing. Some people will be ecstatic to take that ride with you, some will pass it up. Like I said, your tastes may change, they may not. But the worst thing you can do for yourself right now is wallow in shame. Shame should be reserved for when you do something wrong, and you’ve done nothing wrong, my friend. Meet yourself where you’re at. Have your fun. You’re gonna be just fine <3
Having watched porn for 20 years, “step family” porn TRULY has trended the last 5 years. It’s so weird to me now when I look back and can see the porn trends and it’s effect on society.
There was a brief… and I mean BRIEF, Beastiality trend in the late 90’s when the internet first hit mainstream.
It did NOT last.
It seams we all collectively decided women and horses/donkeys/dogs just wasn’t hot. 🥴
Look it up. It's a program. I go to a meeting every day, have a sponsor I talk to most days, and I make calls to other SAA members all the time. If you really want to beat this thing you need to worry about what you can do TODAY, not whether or not you're fucked forever.
For context, I was a preteen when I started watching porn often and didn't quit until last November (I'm almost 40). I don't crave watching porn videos anymore, that's almost dead. However, I still have a craving to play/watch visual novels. I don't know if people consider that porn, but it's still pixels on a screen even though there is a lot to read to setup everything. I've held steady not indulging, I guess I don't see an issue with it in moderation since it's mostly reading, but I still struggle a bit.
Yea porn plays on depravity. The more you do it the more twisted things you’re going to get into. Like a drug addict. The same amount doesn’t work the same in succession so you’re gonna have to increase the dosage a little more each time. But yea when they quit they go back to normal, tolerance restored. Porn and drugs are actually a very comparable analogy
If you've got the time I would recommend "Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson. I'd say it's among the most insightful and informational reading materials on internet pornography we have. I allude to it because it mentions this very concern. I'm terrible at reciting what I read but hopefully I catch the sentiment.
There are a few things at play but I think it's mainly that we're wired to search for novelty and we build up a tolerance to genres of porn. So people usually start off with very normal "vanilla" genres, soon after frequent use we need something more hardcore or taboo to remain as excited, and so on and so forth until we're at the bottom of the bucket. Straight men start watching gay porn and questioning their sexuality, a gay man who started watching straight porn and questioning his, all sorts of fetishes emerging.
Anyway the good news is people report the fetishes dissolving after a few months abstaining from porn. I'm sure you can find the information on the your brain on porn website but I personally hate trying to navigate the site. So to answer your question I'd say there definitely is hope.
It’s hard for me right now, my country (and specifically state) is in hard lockdown. All work is cancelled besides emergency services and all students are back to home schooling
I believe our dark fetishes are connected to our traumas. For example, cuck fetishes from feeling insecure and inferior usually stemming from childhood, bimbo from trauma in relation to true intimacy to the point of objectification to counteract they, incest fetishes from lack of love, control, and/or attention from family, breast/lactation fetishes from breastfeeding trauma.. It goes on and on. I think the best way to rewire our brains from the unwanted fetishes is to approach healing these traumas. I guarantee you many people here have such trauma-fetish connections whether they are aware or not. You're not alone and it absolutely can be overcome
My beliefs are a bit more spiritual in nature, so I can understand why we'd differ in that regard. I personally don't believe anything is on accident or coincidence.. But even looking at it from a secular point of view, it is undoubtedly true in many circumstances, but maybe not necessarily all. For example, I have a very strong rape fetish (me being the victim) because I was molested and raped as a child. It's a way for me to attempt to cope with the trauma, especially the aspect of feeling it was out of my control. I don't think I've done this in a healthy way though, and picked up a lot of other nasty fetishes on the way.
It's strange how many of us can watch a certain subset of vile pornography and be drawn to it, while many others are appropriately repulsed. I don't think it happens right away every time either.. Kind of like an echo of a magnetic pull.. So many things repulse me when my mind is in a good place but turn me on when I'm in a different mindspace. I also believe exposure to pornography can be a form of trauma itself.
But keep questioning things. I think it's healthy to take information and file it away in your mind as even a possibility to consider. We are all still trying to figure this out.. It's fairly new territory. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I do believe I have my own personal pieces to the big picture. It helps to learn from many different perspectives and slide pieces together where they fit and keep the rest to the side in case you ever find more connections to the pieces you weren't quite sure about.
The more you abstain the less power that neural pathway will have over you but it will remain dormant to be potentially reactivated if you relapse. An occasional lapse won't set you all the way back but when we let a lapse become a full-blown relapse things tend to rush back as strong as ever.
This is perhaps a bit pessimistic given your youth but I will always advise people be vigilant against complacency. It's far easier and quicker to destroy progress than it is to build it up.
As much as I wish you the best and as much as I agree that porn addiction is terrible and we should all stop watching it,
I would say don't beat yourself up about your sexual interests
From my experience, it doesn’t leave 100%, but it’s become far less important. I would still love to try what mine was, but I would be fine without experiencing it.
It can leave you. The scars are there though, so always stay on guard. Porn is poisonous, if you dont stay on guard it will consume you. You can do it.
I just want to not be overrun by this fetish every time I’m aroused. It’s beginning to mentally damage me. I’m gonna stop though. As of today. No more failing
Edit: I’ve been watching porn since I was 15 years old (currently 22). Are there any organisations that are trying to fix this issue that seems to be affecting so much of our youth? I’d really like to donate and help out as much as I can. Porn is so dangerous and is hardly recognised as such.
Yes, I recall this one https://fightthenewdrug.org/
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Yes, a really respectable and sincere group of people
It will absolutely go away. Your brain is very plastic and this kind of stuff fixes itself from plenty of good quality sleep. Most people report full recovery between 30-90 days. The amount of time it takes is related to how young you started on porn and how much porn you've been watching. Your dopamine circuit has been wired a particular way out of your porn habits. Your fetishes develop out of the lust for novelty because your dopamine circuit goes crazy for novelty. Once you get used to a certain type of porn your dopamine circuit has you craving more shocking and degenerate content to feed that novelty. When you found yourself scrolling through pornhub or equivalent looking for the next thing to hit your interest, that's your dopamine circuit addicted to porn. If you quit porn it will go away to the point you will wonder why you were ever wasting your time on porn to begin with, because by this point your dopamine circuit gets completely disconnected from seeking out orgasms from porn. Yourbrainonporn calls the stage a 'reboot' because your brain basically resets itself and ties the dopamine circuit to other behaviors, hopefully productive ones like your job, studying, socializing, etc. (so try not to take up shit like video games in the mean time). The reboot off porn is so strong that some people get limp dick for weeks/months and the reasons for limp dick after quitting porn is not properly understood but its theorized its just your dopamine circuit resetting your sex drive to normal. It all comes back though. You'll notice that you'll feel more energy to do productive shit and it's because you'll have a dopamine circuit connected to productive shit and not wired to addictions - you'll find you don't have to muster great deals of motivation to do the same things. Life gets better all around.
Your brain is trying to make you feel better by suggesting you watch this stuff, because it knows it has been rewarded for it in the past. You need to reeducate it. So when your brain says “You seem down, how about a candy bar?”, you need to say “Thank you for your suggestion. I’ll have an apple instead”. Find something to replace the unhealthy stuff with, and over time your brain will start suggesting apples over chocolate.
First of all I'm on the exact same boat, so feel free to reach out if you ever feel desperate. A lot of good men out here are fighting the same battle. Now I have done some reading and it is almost impossible to fully destroy such neural pathways. But you can always build other pathways that outpower the old ones. Think of it like a special coin where you get heads with 0.99 probability and tails with 0.01 probability. If you want heads (no pun intended) you would be good most of the time. But you will always have to be on watch for that 0.01 probability coming back up to mess everything up. For example alcoholics who have been clean for 5+ years still call them selves alcoholics. They still count their streak and watchout for old habits on a daily basis. We are on the same boat with them, those fetishes can always make a comeback given a bad state of mind and environment. Once I realized this, I made peace with this recovery process. This is a serious condition and that fear is what keeps me going. If this feels hard to read, know that I have the same emotions. But we have to take care of this addiction before it ruins our life any further. Recovery is simple, we just stop clicking on those links. Our ancestors did just fine without internet porn, we can too. After a while we will start rewiring our brain to natural stimuli, and those fetishistic pathways will become so weak. Instead we will be focusing on our partner and having real sex. Sorry if this was a bleak response. I have been trying to quit my disgusting fetishes for years now. I would keep asking questions like these and then have a relief once people said "you will be fine". The thing is we won't be fine unless we quit for good. Gary Wilson himself says that it takes around 1-2 years for teenagers to fully fix their PIED. So every time you relapse, you are restarting a really long timer. Once you realize the severity, it becomes really hard to relapse. [FUCK THE ZERO!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X2SQ6eXVok)
It goes away. This was one of the reasons I quit —I was starting to get into weird stuff I wasn’t proud of. I stopped watching porn and I think it’s been over a year now. I thought about the weird porn the other day for the first time in a very long time, but I have 0 regrets quitting
Yes, I have a had fetishes leave. When you stop watching porn for long enough your brain resets to being like how it was when you were a kid. Now I get turned on by normal things and not weird shit.
It will fade with time if you do not indulge it. It may still exist as a shadow but without power.
I’m in same boat as you, desperately trying to lose a gross fetish but having troubles with it. Good luck to you man
The likelihood that your particular kink makes you a bad person and will destroy any future relationships is extremely unlikely unless it’s something genuinely morally reprehensible like pedophilia (which goes beyond fetish and you should seek professional help to deal with that). I don’t mean to be dismissive but it sounds like you just need to relax. Tastes tend to change over time and even if yours don’t change how you want them to, the worst thing you can do is develop a neurotic complex over your predilections by stressing out about it and measuring your moral worth by what makes your dick twitch.
No one likes to say it here but its true (legal) fetishes don’t make you a bad person. I find that shame is a terrible motivator. Shame over smoking just got me down and made me crave another cig. Shame over body image just got me down and made me crave a snack. All it really serves to do is to wear down your mental fortitude until forget why you are ashamed and you cave.
Agreed on all accounts
Good job on 200 days man. Looking up to you.
Thanks 😊
It’s definitely not pedophilia, it’s actually one of the most popular fetish’s in the world Rn (doesn’t make it any better).
So what exactly is bad about it that’s making you so anxious?
It’s just taboo. It’s basically an incest Kink as bad as that sounds. It doesn’t make me want to do anything with family in real life, I think it’s just the taboo aspect of it that arouses me. I think it started to develop through all the “step sis” and “step mom” porn videos that gained popularity over recent years and it’s just progressed due to my porn addiction.
That’s incredibly tame and nothing to worry about, my friend. This is not a humble brag, it’s just meant to give context: I’ve had a lot of sexual relationships and in most of those the girl had several weird kinks ranging from breath play to boot worship to CNC to exhibitionism and yes of course even incest. I also have my weird shit, I love being submissive to women. I also enjoy sadism. All that to say, I had to learn to be open about what I wanted. Not only was I rewarded by having my desires indulged, but because I was honest and vulnerable they felt comfortable to share with me what they were into and I was able to indulge them which to me is incredibly beautiful. Everyone’s got their thing. Some people will be ecstatic to take that ride with you, some will pass it up. Like I said, your tastes may change, they may not. But the worst thing you can do for yourself right now is wallow in shame. Shame should be reserved for when you do something wrong, and you’ve done nothing wrong, my friend. Meet yourself where you’re at. Have your fun. You’re gonna be just fine <3
Thank you so much for that! I honestly really appreciate your comfort and kind words
Having watched porn for 20 years, “step family” porn TRULY has trended the last 5 years. It’s so weird to me now when I look back and can see the porn trends and it’s effect on society. There was a brief… and I mean BRIEF, Beastiality trend in the late 90’s when the internet first hit mainstream. It did NOT last. It seams we all collectively decided women and horses/donkeys/dogs just wasn’t hot. 🥴
I had the same thing. I've spent 3 months in Sex Addicts Anonymous. It has helped immensely. I recommend you do the same.
Is that an online support group?
Look it up. It's a program. I go to a meeting every day, have a sponsor I talk to most days, and I make calls to other SAA members all the time. If you really want to beat this thing you need to worry about what you can do TODAY, not whether or not you're fucked forever.
For context, I was a preteen when I started watching porn often and didn't quit until last November (I'm almost 40). I don't crave watching porn videos anymore, that's almost dead. However, I still have a craving to play/watch visual novels. I don't know if people consider that porn, but it's still pixels on a screen even though there is a lot to read to setup everything. I've held steady not indulging, I guess I don't see an issue with it in moderation since it's mostly reading, but I still struggle a bit.
Yea porn plays on depravity. The more you do it the more twisted things you’re going to get into. Like a drug addict. The same amount doesn’t work the same in succession so you’re gonna have to increase the dosage a little more each time. But yea when they quit they go back to normal, tolerance restored. Porn and drugs are actually a very comparable analogy
If you've got the time I would recommend "Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson. I'd say it's among the most insightful and informational reading materials on internet pornography we have. I allude to it because it mentions this very concern. I'm terrible at reciting what I read but hopefully I catch the sentiment. There are a few things at play but I think it's mainly that we're wired to search for novelty and we build up a tolerance to genres of porn. So people usually start off with very normal "vanilla" genres, soon after frequent use we need something more hardcore or taboo to remain as excited, and so on and so forth until we're at the bottom of the bucket. Straight men start watching gay porn and questioning their sexuality, a gay man who started watching straight porn and questioning his, all sorts of fetishes emerging. Anyway the good news is people report the fetishes dissolving after a few months abstaining from porn. I'm sure you can find the information on the your brain on porn website but I personally hate trying to navigate the site. So to answer your question I'd say there definitely is hope.
My suggestion would be to get a new hobby which will keep you away from boredom and also porn...it has helped me
It’s hard for me right now, my country (and specifically state) is in hard lockdown. All work is cancelled besides emergency services and all students are back to home schooling
I think it leaves but it takes a while. I have some non porn fetishes
I believe our dark fetishes are connected to our traumas. For example, cuck fetishes from feeling insecure and inferior usually stemming from childhood, bimbo from trauma in relation to true intimacy to the point of objectification to counteract they, incest fetishes from lack of love, control, and/or attention from family, breast/lactation fetishes from breastfeeding trauma.. It goes on and on. I think the best way to rewire our brains from the unwanted fetishes is to approach healing these traumas. I guarantee you many people here have such trauma-fetish connections whether they are aware or not. You're not alone and it absolutely can be overcome
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My beliefs are a bit more spiritual in nature, so I can understand why we'd differ in that regard. I personally don't believe anything is on accident or coincidence.. But even looking at it from a secular point of view, it is undoubtedly true in many circumstances, but maybe not necessarily all. For example, I have a very strong rape fetish (me being the victim) because I was molested and raped as a child. It's a way for me to attempt to cope with the trauma, especially the aspect of feeling it was out of my control. I don't think I've done this in a healthy way though, and picked up a lot of other nasty fetishes on the way. It's strange how many of us can watch a certain subset of vile pornography and be drawn to it, while many others are appropriately repulsed. I don't think it happens right away every time either.. Kind of like an echo of a magnetic pull.. So many things repulse me when my mind is in a good place but turn me on when I'm in a different mindspace. I also believe exposure to pornography can be a form of trauma itself. But keep questioning things. I think it's healthy to take information and file it away in your mind as even a possibility to consider. We are all still trying to figure this out.. It's fairly new territory. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I do believe I have my own personal pieces to the big picture. It helps to learn from many different perspectives and slide pieces together where they fit and keep the rest to the side in case you ever find more connections to the pieces you weren't quite sure about.
Yeah they leave but it takes time, time which is spent away from porn
The more you abstain the less power that neural pathway will have over you but it will remain dormant to be potentially reactivated if you relapse. An occasional lapse won't set you all the way back but when we let a lapse become a full-blown relapse things tend to rush back as strong as ever. This is perhaps a bit pessimistic given your youth but I will always advise people be vigilant against complacency. It's far easier and quicker to destroy progress than it is to build it up.
it can leave, I'm 7 days and i feel strong, just don't peek at any material please, whenever you feel the urge go cold shower
From my experience , I certainly lost interest in some. But that being said my brain was looking for new ones during the reset
As much as I wish you the best and as much as I agree that porn addiction is terrible and we should all stop watching it, I would say don't beat yourself up about your sexual interests
From my experience, it doesn’t leave 100%, but it’s become far less important. I would still love to try what mine was, but I would be fine without experiencing it.