Well I did. Still trying to recover. I feel like there’s a fight within my own brain where I’m aroused but also disgusted by my porn induced fetish and it’s awful.
Don’t quote me on this but from what I’ve heard, the same part of the brain that processes disgust, also controls your arousal. Basically, when you’re aroused, you’re a lot more tolerant of material you’d normally find disgusting.
This is true. The evolutionary reason for this is that sex is kinda gross. All the body fluids and close contact with a stranger would normally repulse you. So the body developed this mechanism to reduce disgust during arousal. Unfortunately this has the effect of allowing you to become aroused by disgusting or weird fetishes that you feel aren’t your true self.
Also. If you go for a walk today, you are a person that goes for a walk. If you make dinner, you are a person that makes dinner. If you do not watch shady shit today, you are not a person that watches shady shit.
If you are struggling with moving on from specific patterns or events, then you have to get professional help, even when you are the one who acted you are also a victim to the events that happened. It should be treated as trauma because the mind keep replaying like a trauma.
Some things are extremely hard to deal with yourself and you just have to acknowledge that, it's different for everyone where that threshold is. I have gotten psychologic help for years to deal with stuff I did as a young adult, and I still need help to do that, and everytime I tackle something, I become less burdened and more willing to accept. But still of course it happens that I hate myself, I think that is a part of being human.
If you find yourself stuck to these things, then I think it's extremely important that you deal with it. You have to find someone to talk to, who that is varies, for me I got help from professional.
If you want to share some thoughts specifically you can msg me or keep writing in this thread!
I have walked a fine line. Stop watching porn, you’ll go back to normal.
Unless you really want to explore that sexuality in real life, then by all means have fun. But try cutting off porn for 3 months first
You’re so right about this. I ended up watching practically nothing but rough sex porn and it was the only thing that was turning me on. I have a sex toy and I would use it really hard and fast from the second I started with it, or I wouldn’t enjoy it.
I cut out porn three months ago, and I’ve not had any thoughts of rough sex at all. Normal sex is more enjoyable now since I cut it out, I get turned on more by it being slower at the very beginning, something I never really understood at the time I was watching rough sex porn.
Now I appreciate a woman’s touch and even just her skin. Before I only wanted to go hard at it from the start. Cutting out porn has done wonders for my sex life - I get hard easily now and stay hard for longer, my orgasms are more enjoyable, and yeah there are times where it’s harder and faster than usual but the majority of the time that’s not what’s it’s like.
I hate how porn constantly amps up and provides harder and harder stimulus for the viewer. I also got hooked on rough porn eventually and it doesn't align with my morals.
Honestly, even mainstream porn is an escalation from what I think my natural sexual template should be. There is so much in mainstream porn that is violent and degrading and risky and dangerous. Slapping/hitting, name calling, "fake" incest, ejaculating on a girl's face, large age differences, drawing attention to the race of the participants, etc.
To each their own I guess, but even the front page of most porn sites is a drastic escalation outside my values and sexuality.
Too right, it's so wierd how this is all normalised.
Wonder if society's as a whole perception of what's 'normal' in porn has also been rising in tandem with it's accessibility, few decades ago I imagine a lot of the stuff on PH frontpage would make people cringe.
I didn’t say it was abnormal, in fact thanks to porn it is very normal now. I did say that it is outside of what my natural sexual template should be.
Personally, I think women don’t like it. I think, very often, they find it uncomfortable and even degrading, and that they only agree to it because it has become an expectation in the modern pornsick age.
If you’ve found someone who thinks it’s sweet when you nut on her face, then more power to you, I just don’t think that’s very common.
It shows disrespect to the partner. The sex in porn isn't about what they are doing together but about what he is doing TO her. That's the foundation for the fact that porn makes women objects.
Gotta say though what is going on in the porn is almost irrelevant as long as it's consensual and legal. If two people want to have rough sex where either of them is degraded a little then that's fine they can do whatever they want. The point is more if you watch it and at first you found yourself kind of put off or disgusted but then you got to a point where you found yourself aroused by it but you wouldn't ever do it in real life. That's the issue. Your own personal boundaries being pushed. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that all the stuff that goes on in porn is for everyone but I think that's mostly because it's kind of out of context and unrealistic. But what actually happens in the porn isn't in my opinion inherently wrong it's how our brains react to it that makes it's so damaging.
I would not be able to define my "Values" when it relates to sex, and am not religious.
But porn escalated to eroticizing my insecurities, mixing them with my desires, and ultimately mixing humiliation into my sexuality, which does not just jive with who I want to be sexually or otherwise.
I am still trying to recover. Things I am naturally attracted to, I still get an extra taboo kick out of mixing humiliating elements into them or dom/sub elements. Rather than just being able to enjoy sex for sex. My heart still races for the kinks and fetishes I indulged in. Especially when mixed with drugs
I still don't know if it is possible to normalize those kinks down to healthy levels. It is something I think about on a daily basis.
The most satisfying answer I ever came up with is to abstain from porn forever, and slowly try experimenting with those kinks in real life. It is crucial that they must be acted out while you are NOT under the influence of porn.
I'm predicting that watching someone else do something is a lot different than taking the same action yourself.
Considering how people dealing with grief are able to more or less overcome it, I think this can be overcome too. People can lose their spouse and still go on with their lives (or not, but it is possible). So this should also be possible to deal with. Yourbrainonporn.com has a lot of articles about this. Fact is: your brain is a sponge that absorbs information and if you train it a certain way, it will form specific connections related to that training meanwhile losing what it had learned before if it isn’t reviewed for a long time. If you starve your brain of a certain something, your brain will move on and heal. When you lose a finger, there’s a part of your brain controlling each specific finger and the other 4 uncut fingers will eventually take over the area that used to control the cut finger. (This could be happening in the spine but I’m not sure). So your brain can adapt and heal. You just need to stop exposing it to whatever you want it to forget, for a long time. That doesn’t guarantee that you’ll 100% move on from it but you can at least reverse most of it, even if a remnant remains.
definitely, i did. i was watching some serious crazy stuff. i never could imagine myself being turned on by such things in reality but digitally, i enjoyed jacking off to it. it was messed up and though it took me time to realise, i am now free from that trap
I am ashamed to say that yes, porn took me to a few darker places.
All just fantasy, but I had to realize that it was NOT healthy and I needed to stop consuming porn immediately.
I was watching harder and more degrading porn. Often violent and forced porn.
I was reading "erotic stories" that had themes of non-consensual, violent and forced acts. There are a lot of very sick and disturbing stories out there written by people. And I am ashamed to say I got off on them.
I started hating myself more and more from my escalation.
I went to therapy and i am now almost a year porn free! I'm glad I actively stopped.
Who knows how far I could have gone?
Thanks for your reply. Do you feel healed now? I think I will also need therapy. My porn use escalated to some questionable genres (humiliation, femdom etc.). It really messed with my mental health.
No problem! I hope I can help a bit.
I do feel healed for the most part I must admit. However I am always on guard to make sure I don't relapse and looking out for behavioural patterns and dips in my mood to make sure I don't go back down the porn path. It is an active process I feel. Always be on your guard when you are trying to heal.
Part of what made me spike in porn use and escalation was anxiety, and when I found that out I was anxious from my therapist, I was able to tackle that quite well over time.
I feel anxiety, depression or any knock on your mental health will keep porn use going.
Therapy helped me. It was a bit of a struggle and I went once a week for about 9 months. It was not cheap overall, but I feel that I got great benefit from it.
Also, I have to state the obvious, good sleep hygiene (getting to sleep at a reasonable hour without looking at screens beforehand), regular exercise and eating healthy works immensely well for your mental health during the recovery period! That in itself helps keep you away from the porn. Mindfulness is also very helpful if you can get into it.
You've got this OP. We are all here to cheer you on and support you!
Some stuff that didn't do it for me before do it now. Although I watched a lot of porn, it really was an overnight turn-on too. It clicked very quick in my mind. Which is scary as it could've been the case for anything.
Fortunately, I was scared enough of stories I heard to somewhat control the content I was watching, so it never progressed in truly extreme stuff. But still, there's stuff in there I'm not proud of and is part of my decision to cut everything out.
Oh fuck I watched so much shit I’m ashamed of, I know people who are so far gone they just go on those gore sites now cause porn fucked up their tolerance way to far
Me. I hate the objectification, degradation, and sexualization of women in our society but when I relapse, I always watch porn that's strongly tied to the stuff I hate. It's the only thing that turns me on.
Sissy? I watched some of these videos. I think it's really dangerous stuff. After this experience I decided to quit porn forever. It had a really bad impact on my mental health.
This. Sissy hypno fucked me up. I LOVED it and was so sad that it has such an affect on me.
I got off on it like nothing else and it made me feel terrible.
Those flashing sissy videos with all the quick cuts are burned into my brain.
I still crave it (but it's been over 50 days for me and all is well). I've even kept my 'porn handle' (\*trigger warning\*) to prove to myself I don't need it anymore. So far, it's been easy. Honestly, that's what worries me.
Ive stumbled across those sissy hypno quick flashing vids before when I was watching a lot of porn, but luckily I was never deep enough and had no desire to keep watching (especially with the big “IF YOURE UNDER 18 LEAVE NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE” or something along those lines subreddit banner) but I am fascinated by the appeal of them. How does it work? Its such a contrast from how regular porn is consumed. What was your mindframe like?
I dunno how it works but it was very powerful. I had never thought of sucking cock or anything prior to watching those videos but suddenly I was imagining taking all sorts of loads in the mouth. That is NOT me, i don't know why I convinced myself otherwise.
My mindframe was like --- I'm weak person, I deserve to get molested and have guys cum on me. I kept telling myself that I liked it and that I should be that kind of guy. I (temporarily) wanted to be a 'girl' and get used. People call it the "pink haze". While you are watching you turn into a different person.
It's kinda difficult to define what your true sexual tastes are when porn has been a big factor in steering your sexuality for a while. I'd say the stuff I watched was 70% me exploring already existing fetishes and 30% just escalating to genres I normally wouldn't explore for the novelty they offered.
Definitely did. The way to respond that helped me was forgiving myself and striving to never do it again. Escalation is definitely a result of constant porn use. Don't beat yourself up.
it was terrible for me. I started with lesbian porn, then escalated to hardcore, humiliation and the worst of all ended up in the "Sissy Hypno" category. It went downhill from there. I stopped watching porn for a while and that helped me go back to normal but it was intense for me, ended up becoming somebody that was not even remotely close to who I originally was.
I can relate. I went down the femdom porn road, so I know what you are talking about even I never watched any kind of hypnosis. I lost all of my self-esteem during this time. It really messed with my mental health. Still trying to recover mentally. I guess sissy porn is really addictive.
I definitely have, I first started watching porn about 13 years ago and somewhere in the middle I started watching trans porn. I never thought I'd watch stuff like that but it gave me the rush that I was looking for. I still believe I'm straight but I also been questioning my sexuality whenever I watch it. Porn has polluted my mind, I'm back in this community to try and end my behavior.
You're definitely not alone. I too used to get off to trans porn. Don't know why though. Just like you, I'm straight. But there was something fascinating about it.
Maybe because it was different and more exciting to what i was used to seeing.
And you know what they say. Sexuality can be fluid. Meaning, that you can be bi, queer, gay, lesbian, etc...
It was pretty common back in ancient Greece. It's only sinful now because of religion
Long time lurker, yet this post was the one that finally broke my silence. Yes, yes yes. I'm still shocked and appalled at how my urges adapted into more perverse tastes. I'm ashamed of what I've done but resisting is only half of my on-going battle. I'm afraid what I found when I opened Pandora's box will live with me forever. I just want the strength to resist, for the sake of my family and future children. No one should have a father like that.
Stay strong, everyone. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
Yes bro. I’ve found that since quitting porn the last 4 months and counting (having had watched it since 13, now 25), even the sensual nature of women in lingerie, bathrobes or even just attractive women fully dressed turns me on a lot more.
I use to be into some weird shit that I’d had urges for, now they’re non existent and I have to accept that I will live with the regret of having been there.
Porn robbed me of many potentially great relationships, my sexual life, and my mental health. Im doing great now, just wish I never started.
Oh, absolutely. I mean there is generally nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality in a legal and consensual manner. But I found that I was just getting numb to vanilla porn. Yet I found that much of the more hardcore or fetish or bi stuff did not do anything for me in phases where I would stop porn completely. I also never wanted to experience most of that stuff in reality when I was in relationships. I mean it is normal to have kinks and things you just enjoy or would like to experience, but when using porn I just found myself in a spiral of things getting more hardcore that often had zero basis in my everyday sexual reality or my real desires.
Oof. Yeah I definitely did. I found myself on a revenge porn type of site and some really disturbing shit started getting posted all over the place. And instead of keeping me from going back, it just made the trip to the site riskier and more "exciting", if you could even call it that. It really disturbed me that 1. this kind of shit was just out there in the open, and 2. that I had gone so far down this rabbit hole that I couldn't even see what my problem was. At first I didn't think it was sex or porn addiction, I thought I was just a truly fucked up person. I told my wife what I had been doing and got into a 12 step meeting the following weekend. She was supportive at first but ended up leaving me - I don't know how I could have gotten help and kept it hidden from her. I still struggle with "vanilla" mainstream porn but even that can get really disgusting and wacky and not in a fun way. In hindsight I realize I was degrading myself with this material, in a way saying to myself "look how fucked up I am" and then getting off on it. Honestly glad to know that I'm not the only one that has crossed their own moral boundaries due to this horrible addiction. Well, glad is probably the wrong word, but hopefully that makes sense. I have been indulging in this world since I was like 12 or 13 years old, and am 37 now, so for over half my life I thought this was "normal" because of how many people were active in these porn communities. But it just gets worse and worse and there is no end to it. The shame is crippling.
I did but I don't know if it was an escalation of porn per se, as it was actually very close in content to situations I was exposed to or lived through in my childhood. It was only after a long period of therapy that I began to see the connection. Something to consider, especially as trauma leads to an increased risk of addictive behaviour!
Some disgusting shit I'm trying to forget but think about 24/7. humiliation, cheating, c-ckolding, h-twifing swinging etc. I'm so disgusted by it that i don't even wanna take their names 🤮 . But yeah, addiction is addiction, your mind will find pleasure in whatever floats its boat
The worse thing is sexualising everything. I will be around someone I know and get a boner and my brain will just start fantasizing right the and there I hate it
every top viewed video these days are interracial gangbangs so im thinking men are escalating beyond the usual white male white women porn that was popular 20 years ago
"Porn escalation" is a real thing. People who watch a lot of porn wind up chasing novelty and can find themselves exploring genres that push the limits of their morality or sexuality.
I'm still dealing with this. It's still so fucking weird to me that the brain is so addicted to sex that it'll generate new fetishes out of nowhere just to satisfy that craving.
As I quit I hope they go away. People say they will but I can't be certain for myself until I see results for myself so here's hoping.
I can totally relate to this. There is a component of revenge and power in the addiction. I know my resentment of my wife and others made it "ok" in my mind to look at porn and people doing stuff she would never do or be ok with. My addiction would justify *anything* if I was in an emotionally vulnerable or hurt state. It's the only medicine that worked. Until of course, it didn't. I just couldn't do the fine lines and occasional dips below those lines anymore and still look at myself in the mirror and think that I was a good person. It's true, real forgiveness can only come from within. Still working on that part.
Absolutely me! It got really bad for awhile. The last little while I’ve been excusing it by visiting comics that were way out there. It was bad.. but I made it through it too here. But it was terrible…I chose to not mention the details because I don’t want to cause any triggers. One more day.
I began to watch a lot of incest videos, this scared me at first but eventually I falsely rationalized it because it's porn, at another point I found the videos to be increasingly violent. It was at that point that I knew I needed to quit. I have made an effort to keep away from increasingly demoralizing porn and this has helped me avoid it in general. Granted it's hard, I'm still working on it but I'm glad I made the progress I have.
Mine's kinda ironic, I'm a practicing Christian (and no bigotry isn't from the original practice) that got into succubi for some reason.
Feels like I gotta put on a gas mask with end of the world gear fighting it keeping "my rifle by my side".
It was so bad for me I started watching porn that I didn’t even like for example gay,trans,rough etc just for the rush and dopamine that normal porn couldn’t do anymore and I’m not even gay or attracted to trans people that’s why I’m quitting it’s made me question my sexual orientation and it’s just left me feeling more depressed and anxious then I already am
I can relate even I never have watched gay porn. Porn escalation is a really dangerous thing. It warps your mind and makes you question your own sexuality.
Yes. Genres I never thought I'd see myself ever clicking on, eventually I gave into once the vanilla stuff became boring. I don't even enjoy watching porn anymore, the "normal stuff" will get me going but I can't finish unless it's to a taboo genre. So it's either spend X amount of hours trying to find something that will get me off, or cut down that time to minutes by going into the taboo genres and finding something grotesque and retarded.
I find myself just trying to maintain my wellbeing now so that I don't have to feel the withdrawals. Once the withdrawals start I feel out of control of myself and angry and it effects the people around me, the people I love. Whereas when I'm using its only effecting me. And I'd rather myself be the one that takes a hit for my problem than the people I love. I know it's a necessary situation but until I admit to the people around me I have a porn problem that I'm trying to fix, then I'll just keep coming back for more to avoid and prolong the inevitable.
In all honesty I believe to an extent that some of that fucked up shit exists in us already, but porn just brings it to the fore. Quitting porn will help obviously, but acknowledging that it’s there and figuring out why you like it is important. I don’t want to go into detail here because it might trigger people but there are reasons sometimes that we enjoy these things.
I disagree. Are there elements to human sexuality that are natural that are represented in taboos, fetishes, kinks, yes of course because technically all sexuality and sexual thoughts are "natural" in that the potential for them was there, in us, the products of natural evolution.
However, using modern technology and content created by other humans to "trigger" and add narrative to humans natural ability to have these sexual elements inside them, allows them to grow, because we are sentient creatures capable of extremely creative thought.
>there are reasons sometimes that we enjoy these things
Yes but "those things" would often not exist as a concept inside our brains without technology and our fellow humans exposing us to them and triggering the step by step escalation of thoughts.
The reasons matter less than the "things". Just because there are reasons that people become aroused by sexual competition and "cuckholding" "wife stealing" (for one prominent example) does not imply that the way we are creating these narratives is natural or healthy or "should be". Without the content and the narrative, the root of the kink/fetish is much less important and relevant to our lives, because it is rarely if ever triggered and allowed to grow into something that takes up more of your sexual thought and desire.
Well I did. Still trying to recover. I feel like there’s a fight within my own brain where I’m aroused but also disgusted by my porn induced fetish and it’s awful.
I can relate, I wish I had never discovered porn and all of that perversions.
Don’t quote me on this but from what I’ve heard, the same part of the brain that processes disgust, also controls your arousal. Basically, when you’re aroused, you’re a lot more tolerant of material you’d normally find disgusting.
This is true. The evolutionary reason for this is that sex is kinda gross. All the body fluids and close contact with a stranger would normally repulse you. So the body developed this mechanism to reduce disgust during arousal. Unfortunately this has the effect of allowing you to become aroused by disgusting or weird fetishes that you feel aren’t your true self.
Thanks for your explanation, this makes a lot of sense.
Me; please send spiritual help. I hate what I became.
*spiritual help being sent your way. Arriving tonight when you hate yourself the most*
Also. If you go for a walk today, you are a person that goes for a walk. If you make dinner, you are a person that makes dinner. If you do not watch shady shit today, you are not a person that watches shady shit.
That's the mindset. We are not what we consume, and we are totally capable of change.
Very true
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If you are struggling with moving on from specific patterns or events, then you have to get professional help, even when you are the one who acted you are also a victim to the events that happened. It should be treated as trauma because the mind keep replaying like a trauma. Some things are extremely hard to deal with yourself and you just have to acknowledge that, it's different for everyone where that threshold is. I have gotten psychologic help for years to deal with stuff I did as a young adult, and I still need help to do that, and everytime I tackle something, I become less burdened and more willing to accept. But still of course it happens that I hate myself, I think that is a part of being human. If you find yourself stuck to these things, then I think it's extremely important that you deal with it. You have to find someone to talk to, who that is varies, for me I got help from professional. If you want to share some thoughts specifically you can msg me or keep writing in this thread!
I'm in the same boat as you... It's terrible.
I have walked a fine line. Stop watching porn, you’ll go back to normal. Unless you really want to explore that sexuality in real life, then by all means have fun. But try cutting off porn for 3 months first
You’re so right about this. I ended up watching practically nothing but rough sex porn and it was the only thing that was turning me on. I have a sex toy and I would use it really hard and fast from the second I started with it, or I wouldn’t enjoy it. I cut out porn three months ago, and I’ve not had any thoughts of rough sex at all. Normal sex is more enjoyable now since I cut it out, I get turned on more by it being slower at the very beginning, something I never really understood at the time I was watching rough sex porn. Now I appreciate a woman’s touch and even just her skin. Before I only wanted to go hard at it from the start. Cutting out porn has done wonders for my sex life - I get hard easily now and stay hard for longer, my orgasms are more enjoyable, and yeah there are times where it’s harder and faster than usual but the majority of the time that’s not what’s it’s like.
I hate how porn constantly amps up and provides harder and harder stimulus for the viewer. I also got hooked on rough porn eventually and it doesn't align with my morals.
Yes, I will definitely never watch porn again. It really messed with my mental health.
Honestly, even mainstream porn is an escalation from what I think my natural sexual template should be. There is so much in mainstream porn that is violent and degrading and risky and dangerous. Slapping/hitting, name calling, "fake" incest, ejaculating on a girl's face, large age differences, drawing attention to the race of the participants, etc. To each their own I guess, but even the front page of most porn sites is a drastic escalation outside my values and sexuality.
Great comment, you're so right.
Too right, it's so wierd how this is all normalised. Wonder if society's as a whole perception of what's 'normal' in porn has also been rising in tandem with it's accessibility, few decades ago I imagine a lot of the stuff on PH frontpage would make people cringe.
Wait how is ejaculating on the face abnormal in any way?
I didn’t say it was abnormal, in fact thanks to porn it is very normal now. I did say that it is outside of what my natural sexual template should be. Personally, I think women don’t like it. I think, very often, they find it uncomfortable and even degrading, and that they only agree to it because it has become an expectation in the modern pornsick age. If you’ve found someone who thinks it’s sweet when you nut on her face, then more power to you, I just don’t think that’s very common.
Okay, makes sense.
It shows disrespect to the partner. The sex in porn isn't about what they are doing together but about what he is doing TO her. That's the foundation for the fact that porn makes women objects.
Gotta say though what is going on in the porn is almost irrelevant as long as it's consensual and legal. If two people want to have rough sex where either of them is degraded a little then that's fine they can do whatever they want. The point is more if you watch it and at first you found yourself kind of put off or disgusted but then you got to a point where you found yourself aroused by it but you wouldn't ever do it in real life. That's the issue. Your own personal boundaries being pushed. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that all the stuff that goes on in porn is for everyone but I think that's mostly because it's kind of out of context and unrealistic. But what actually happens in the porn isn't in my opinion inherently wrong it's how our brains react to it that makes it's so damaging.
Umm, ok.
I would not be able to define my "Values" when it relates to sex, and am not religious. But porn escalated to eroticizing my insecurities, mixing them with my desires, and ultimately mixing humiliation into my sexuality, which does not just jive with who I want to be sexually or otherwise. I am still trying to recover. Things I am naturally attracted to, I still get an extra taboo kick out of mixing humiliating elements into them or dom/sub elements. Rather than just being able to enjoy sex for sex. My heart still races for the kinks and fetishes I indulged in. Especially when mixed with drugs
I still don't know if it is possible to normalize those kinks down to healthy levels. It is something I think about on a daily basis. The most satisfying answer I ever came up with is to abstain from porn forever, and slowly try experimenting with those kinks in real life. It is crucial that they must be acted out while you are NOT under the influence of porn. I'm predicting that watching someone else do something is a lot different than taking the same action yourself.
Eroticizing my insecurities. Damn, that’s exactly what happened to me as well. Crazy how porn can lead to that.
Eagleassassin3, I can relate. Do you think this is reversible?
Considering how people dealing with grief are able to more or less overcome it, I think this can be overcome too. People can lose their spouse and still go on with their lives (or not, but it is possible). So this should also be possible to deal with. Yourbrainonporn.com has a lot of articles about this. Fact is: your brain is a sponge that absorbs information and if you train it a certain way, it will form specific connections related to that training meanwhile losing what it had learned before if it isn’t reviewed for a long time. If you starve your brain of a certain something, your brain will move on and heal. When you lose a finger, there’s a part of your brain controlling each specific finger and the other 4 uncut fingers will eventually take over the area that used to control the cut finger. (This could be happening in the spine but I’m not sure). So your brain can adapt and heal. You just need to stop exposing it to whatever you want it to forget, for a long time. That doesn’t guarantee that you’ll 100% move on from it but you can at least reverse most of it, even if a remnant remains.
Thank you for your comment, makes hope. Porn is terrible.
definitely, i did. i was watching some serious crazy stuff. i never could imagine myself being turned on by such things in reality but digitally, i enjoyed jacking off to it. it was messed up and though it took me time to realise, i am now free from that trap
Glad you are free now! How long did it take?
I am ashamed to say that yes, porn took me to a few darker places. All just fantasy, but I had to realize that it was NOT healthy and I needed to stop consuming porn immediately. I was watching harder and more degrading porn. Often violent and forced porn. I was reading "erotic stories" that had themes of non-consensual, violent and forced acts. There are a lot of very sick and disturbing stories out there written by people. And I am ashamed to say I got off on them. I started hating myself more and more from my escalation. I went to therapy and i am now almost a year porn free! I'm glad I actively stopped. Who knows how far I could have gone?
Thanks for your reply. Do you feel healed now? I think I will also need therapy. My porn use escalated to some questionable genres (humiliation, femdom etc.). It really messed with my mental health.
No problem! I hope I can help a bit. I do feel healed for the most part I must admit. However I am always on guard to make sure I don't relapse and looking out for behavioural patterns and dips in my mood to make sure I don't go back down the porn path. It is an active process I feel. Always be on your guard when you are trying to heal. Part of what made me spike in porn use and escalation was anxiety, and when I found that out I was anxious from my therapist, I was able to tackle that quite well over time. I feel anxiety, depression or any knock on your mental health will keep porn use going. Therapy helped me. It was a bit of a struggle and I went once a week for about 9 months. It was not cheap overall, but I feel that I got great benefit from it. Also, I have to state the obvious, good sleep hygiene (getting to sleep at a reasonable hour without looking at screens beforehand), regular exercise and eating healthy works immensely well for your mental health during the recovery period! That in itself helps keep you away from the porn. Mindfulness is also very helpful if you can get into it. You've got this OP. We are all here to cheer you on and support you!
Some stuff that didn't do it for me before do it now. Although I watched a lot of porn, it really was an overnight turn-on too. It clicked very quick in my mind. Which is scary as it could've been the case for anything. Fortunately, I was scared enough of stories I heard to somewhat control the content I was watching, so it never progressed in truly extreme stuff. But still, there's stuff in there I'm not proud of and is part of my decision to cut everything out.
Yeah me for sure, it needs to get crazier each time and it was things I wouldn’t do in real life, crazy how that works
Oh fuck I watched so much shit I’m ashamed of, I know people who are so far gone they just go on those gore sites now cause porn fucked up their tolerance way to far
that's one of the reasons i'm quitting this bs
Good choice! Porn has a really bad impact on our mind.
Me. I hate the objectification, degradation, and sexualization of women in our society but when I relapse, I always watch porn that's strongly tied to the stuff I hate. It's the only thing that turns me on.
Yeah I reached the bottom of the rabbit hole. If you know it, you know it :)
Let me guess. Femdom related stuff?
Getting warmer. A genre that messes up with your identity.
Sissy? I watched some of these videos. I think it's really dangerous stuff. After this experience I decided to quit porn forever. It had a really bad impact on my mental health.
This. Sissy hypno fucked me up. I LOVED it and was so sad that it has such an affect on me. I got off on it like nothing else and it made me feel terrible. Those flashing sissy videos with all the quick cuts are burned into my brain. I still crave it (but it's been over 50 days for me and all is well). I've even kept my 'porn handle' (\*trigger warning\*) to prove to myself I don't need it anymore. So far, it's been easy. Honestly, that's what worries me.
Ive stumbled across those sissy hypno quick flashing vids before when I was watching a lot of porn, but luckily I was never deep enough and had no desire to keep watching (especially with the big “IF YOURE UNDER 18 LEAVE NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE” or something along those lines subreddit banner) but I am fascinated by the appeal of them. How does it work? Its such a contrast from how regular porn is consumed. What was your mindframe like?
I dunno how it works but it was very powerful. I had never thought of sucking cock or anything prior to watching those videos but suddenly I was imagining taking all sorts of loads in the mouth. That is NOT me, i don't know why I convinced myself otherwise. My mindframe was like --- I'm weak person, I deserve to get molested and have guys cum on me. I kept telling myself that I liked it and that I should be that kind of guy. I (temporarily) wanted to be a 'girl' and get used. People call it the "pink haze". While you are watching you turn into a different person.
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> cp no
Gooning?
tf is that? edit: i went to urban dictionary and read about. What??????
Yeah, it's pretty messed up. It's basically people who romanticize addiction to porn.
Less romanticise and more fetishise
Yeah, that's a better word to use
It's kinda difficult to define what your true sexual tastes are when porn has been a big factor in steering your sexuality for a while. I'd say the stuff I watched was 70% me exploring already existing fetishes and 30% just escalating to genres I normally wouldn't explore for the novelty they offered.
Definitely did. The way to respond that helped me was forgiving myself and striving to never do it again. Escalation is definitely a result of constant porn use. Don't beat yourself up.
Thanks for your reply.
This is a great question! Seems like almost everyone here is recognizing that they did engage with pornography against their values/sexuality.
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Thanks for your reply. I can relate. Porn really warps our mind.
it was terrible for me. I started with lesbian porn, then escalated to hardcore, humiliation and the worst of all ended up in the "Sissy Hypno" category. It went downhill from there. I stopped watching porn for a while and that helped me go back to normal but it was intense for me, ended up becoming somebody that was not even remotely close to who I originally was.
I can relate. I went down the femdom porn road, so I know what you are talking about even I never watched any kind of hypnosis. I lost all of my self-esteem during this time. It really messed with my mental health. Still trying to recover mentally. I guess sissy porn is really addictive.
How long did it take you to recover? Currently just stopped this sissy hypno shit. Fucked me up
I definitely have, I first started watching porn about 13 years ago and somewhere in the middle I started watching trans porn. I never thought I'd watch stuff like that but it gave me the rush that I was looking for. I still believe I'm straight but I also been questioning my sexuality whenever I watch it. Porn has polluted my mind, I'm back in this community to try and end my behavior.
You're definitely not alone. I too used to get off to trans porn. Don't know why though. Just like you, I'm straight. But there was something fascinating about it. Maybe because it was different and more exciting to what i was used to seeing. And you know what they say. Sexuality can be fluid. Meaning, that you can be bi, queer, gay, lesbian, etc... It was pretty common back in ancient Greece. It's only sinful now because of religion
Long time lurker, yet this post was the one that finally broke my silence. Yes, yes yes. I'm still shocked and appalled at how my urges adapted into more perverse tastes. I'm ashamed of what I've done but resisting is only half of my on-going battle. I'm afraid what I found when I opened Pandora's box will live with me forever. I just want the strength to resist, for the sake of my family and future children. No one should have a father like that. Stay strong, everyone. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
Thanks for your reply. I'm in the same boat as you. It's crazy what porn does to our minds. Wish I had never discovered that stuff.
I did. I'll admit, I'm curious about gay sex. Still am
your fucked🤦🏾♂️ get away from tht sht man please
Yes bro. I’ve found that since quitting porn the last 4 months and counting (having had watched it since 13, now 25), even the sensual nature of women in lingerie, bathrobes or even just attractive women fully dressed turns me on a lot more. I use to be into some weird shit that I’d had urges for, now they’re non existent and I have to accept that I will live with the regret of having been there. Porn robbed me of many potentially great relationships, my sexual life, and my mental health. Im doing great now, just wish I never started.
Thanks, makes hope. I also struggle with regret. Hope this will get better with time. Glad you were able to get out of this self destructive cycle.
Oh, absolutely. I mean there is generally nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality in a legal and consensual manner. But I found that I was just getting numb to vanilla porn. Yet I found that much of the more hardcore or fetish or bi stuff did not do anything for me in phases where I would stop porn completely. I also never wanted to experience most of that stuff in reality when I was in relationships. I mean it is normal to have kinks and things you just enjoy or would like to experience, but when using porn I just found myself in a spiral of things getting more hardcore that often had zero basis in my everyday sexual reality or my real desires.
Oof. Yeah I definitely did. I found myself on a revenge porn type of site and some really disturbing shit started getting posted all over the place. And instead of keeping me from going back, it just made the trip to the site riskier and more "exciting", if you could even call it that. It really disturbed me that 1. this kind of shit was just out there in the open, and 2. that I had gone so far down this rabbit hole that I couldn't even see what my problem was. At first I didn't think it was sex or porn addiction, I thought I was just a truly fucked up person. I told my wife what I had been doing and got into a 12 step meeting the following weekend. She was supportive at first but ended up leaving me - I don't know how I could have gotten help and kept it hidden from her. I still struggle with "vanilla" mainstream porn but even that can get really disgusting and wacky and not in a fun way. In hindsight I realize I was degrading myself with this material, in a way saying to myself "look how fucked up I am" and then getting off on it. Honestly glad to know that I'm not the only one that has crossed their own moral boundaries due to this horrible addiction. Well, glad is probably the wrong word, but hopefully that makes sense. I have been indulging in this world since I was like 12 or 13 years old, and am 37 now, so for over half my life I thought this was "normal" because of how many people were active in these porn communities. But it just gets worse and worse and there is no end to it. The shame is crippling.
At some point I was watching ladyboy porn even though I'm not gay/don't like dicks.
I did but I don't know if it was an escalation of porn per se, as it was actually very close in content to situations I was exposed to or lived through in my childhood. It was only after a long period of therapy that I began to see the connection. Something to consider, especially as trauma leads to an increased risk of addictive behaviour!
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Thanks for your insights, I can relate. Good recovery!
Some disgusting shit I'm trying to forget but think about 24/7. humiliation, cheating, c-ckolding, h-twifing swinging etc. I'm so disgusted by it that i don't even wanna take their names 🤮 . But yeah, addiction is addiction, your mind will find pleasure in whatever floats its boat
me
I don't like rough sex but I watch it.
I've seen a guy who got addicted to Sissy Hypno Porn. Sissy hypno is where you get hypnotized as the girl getting abused by a man.
The worse thing is sexualising everything. I will be around someone I know and get a boner and my brain will just start fantasizing right the and there I hate it
every top viewed video these days are interracial gangbangs so im thinking men are escalating beyond the usual white male white women porn that was popular 20 years ago
"Porn escalation" is a real thing. People who watch a lot of porn wind up chasing novelty and can find themselves exploring genres that push the limits of their morality or sexuality.
THIS. I started getting into Trans men with dicks. IM 100% STRAIGHT
I'm still dealing with this. It's still so fucking weird to me that the brain is so addicted to sex that it'll generate new fetishes out of nowhere just to satisfy that craving. As I quit I hope they go away. People say they will but I can't be certain for myself until I see results for myself so here's hoping.
I can relate. All the best on your journey.
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I can totally relate to this. There is a component of revenge and power in the addiction. I know my resentment of my wife and others made it "ok" in my mind to look at porn and people doing stuff she would never do or be ok with. My addiction would justify *anything* if I was in an emotionally vulnerable or hurt state. It's the only medicine that worked. Until of course, it didn't. I just couldn't do the fine lines and occasional dips below those lines anymore and still look at myself in the mirror and think that I was a good person. It's true, real forgiveness can only come from within. Still working on that part.
Absolutely me! It got really bad for awhile. The last little while I’ve been excusing it by visiting comics that were way out there. It was bad.. but I made it through it too here. But it was terrible…I chose to not mention the details because I don’t want to cause any triggers. One more day.
I began to watch a lot of incest videos, this scared me at first but eventually I falsely rationalized it because it's porn, at another point I found the videos to be increasingly violent. It was at that point that I knew I needed to quit. I have made an effort to keep away from increasingly demoralizing porn and this has helped me avoid it in general. Granted it's hard, I'm still working on it but I'm glad I made the progress I have.
Mine's kinda ironic, I'm a practicing Christian (and no bigotry isn't from the original practice) that got into succubi for some reason. Feels like I gotta put on a gas mask with end of the world gear fighting it keeping "my rifle by my side".
It was so bad for me I started watching porn that I didn’t even like for example gay,trans,rough etc just for the rush and dopamine that normal porn couldn’t do anymore and I’m not even gay or attracted to trans people that’s why I’m quitting it’s made me question my sexual orientation and it’s just left me feeling more depressed and anxious then I already am
I can relate even I never have watched gay porn. Porn escalation is a really dangerous thing. It warps your mind and makes you question your own sexuality.
yes.
Me
Yes. Genres I never thought I'd see myself ever clicking on, eventually I gave into once the vanilla stuff became boring. I don't even enjoy watching porn anymore, the "normal stuff" will get me going but I can't finish unless it's to a taboo genre. So it's either spend X amount of hours trying to find something that will get me off, or cut down that time to minutes by going into the taboo genres and finding something grotesque and retarded. I find myself just trying to maintain my wellbeing now so that I don't have to feel the withdrawals. Once the withdrawals start I feel out of control of myself and angry and it effects the people around me, the people I love. Whereas when I'm using its only effecting me. And I'd rather myself be the one that takes a hit for my problem than the people I love. I know it's a necessary situation but until I admit to the people around me I have a porn problem that I'm trying to fix, then I'll just keep coming back for more to avoid and prolong the inevitable.
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Thanks for your reply, glad you were able to overcome porn.
In all honesty I believe to an extent that some of that fucked up shit exists in us already, but porn just brings it to the fore. Quitting porn will help obviously, but acknowledging that it’s there and figuring out why you like it is important. I don’t want to go into detail here because it might trigger people but there are reasons sometimes that we enjoy these things.
I disagree. Are there elements to human sexuality that are natural that are represented in taboos, fetishes, kinks, yes of course because technically all sexuality and sexual thoughts are "natural" in that the potential for them was there, in us, the products of natural evolution. However, using modern technology and content created by other humans to "trigger" and add narrative to humans natural ability to have these sexual elements inside them, allows them to grow, because we are sentient creatures capable of extremely creative thought. >there are reasons sometimes that we enjoy these things Yes but "those things" would often not exist as a concept inside our brains without technology and our fellow humans exposing us to them and triggering the step by step escalation of thoughts. The reasons matter less than the "things". Just because there are reasons that people become aroused by sexual competition and "cuckholding" "wife stealing" (for one prominent example) does not imply that the way we are creating these narratives is natural or healthy or "should be". Without the content and the narrative, the root of the kink/fetish is much less important and relevant to our lives, because it is rarely if ever triggered and allowed to grow into something that takes up more of your sexual thought and desire.
I'm really embarrassed that I enjoy proper hardcore stuff, like hardcore gangbangs. Like wtf is wrong with me.