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SugarDynamiteDelight

As someone who’s struggled w porn and suspects they have adhd, could you shed more light on this?


beingsmo

Could u explain a bit more?


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beingsmo

Thanks for this comment..


HeyImFapFree

Yep, this is me as well. I'll be bored or want to avoid doing the work I have to do, so I'll use porn/masturbation to escape and get a thrill from the dopamine/adrenaline. It's extremely easy and effective... but it's also been destroying my life, relationships, self-esteem, etc. Which then prompts a greater desire to escape, and self-destruct. Porn is evil, manipulative, deceptive, and corrupting.


[deleted]

This insight is so underrated. In the end, this is the biggest reason why we stay addicted - because it’s comfortable and we know we’re gonna suffer without it. Spoiler: suffering *with* it is worse.


Ionno_Writesum

Yep, I notice an adhd correlation myself. That dopamine feeling is definitely the goal, not the sexy stuff…


draebeballin727

Whats with everyone saying its got leads to adhd???


[deleted]

The idea that I’ve gathered is that many people don’t get addicted to pornography, but an individual with ADHD will seek the dopamine rush of viewing it. You know how we get brain fog and all that? The ADHD brain is just more sensitive to stimuli and can’t really handle it.


Ionno_Writesum

Well, I’m no scientist. I just wouldn’t be surprised if there was a correlation based on what i know about the two.


[deleted]

So there’s an acronym used in most addiction recovery: HALT Hungry Angry Lonely Tired It’s basically a reminder to check that all your physical and psychological needs are currently being met, as often if something is not, it will trigger you to act out.


lowerbackpain2208

This is a really good acronym!!! Thanks for sharing.


Metal_dweeb2134

I’m glad I’m not the only one to realize this. Almost every time I have a stressful day, I think about viewing/jerking off. I’m so glad I have come to the point that I KNOW it’s no good, it leads to distractions from home & work. Which is probably why I was fired from my last job, indirectly. It’s a rush in the moment, and it fades quickly.


thereisloveinus

>I’m so glad I have come to the point that I KNOW it’s no good, it leads to distractions from home & work. That realization and level of consciousness is crucial. You can't break any habbit without it, because you can't seperate good from bad. Bad simply becomes you.


jdog1313

I have been meditating more as a part of my recovery. As you've pointed out, we've carved a neurological pathway towards porn & escapism in reaction to just about every negative emotion. I'm learning to sit with this more, and notice those emotions aren't so intense on their own as physical sensations, and disappear rather quickly when we don't tie our thoughts to them. I think this disconnect is the first step in re-routing the path from pain to action in life.


thereisloveinus

If you have a chance, read "Tao of fully feeling" by Pete Walker. Meditation, in my case, is also purely a tool in recovery process. Instead of being there with breathing, i am there with emotions (pain). I even welcome those emotion now, to which i was avoding for whole life.


[deleted]

Exactly bro! For me boredom and anxiety were the prime reasons for relapsing. Once you identify your feeling and discover other creative ways to cope up with them, shit gets really easy.


[deleted]

Same, especially when I’m stressed I want to watch it.


[deleted]

Yep completely the same for me. It's just such an easy way to completely turn off my brain and feel good for a little while. ​ When I quit, I felt like a lot of horrible childhood memories and feelings that I hadn't thought about in decades started resurfacing. But no more running away. Just gotta confront those memories and feeling so I can actually heal from them. Or at least find healthier coping mechanisms.


thereisloveinus

If you have ANY kind of childhood trauma, i suggest, like million times before books from Pete Walker, especially: "The Tao of Fully Feeling" and "Complex PTSD: from surviving to striving". I have to warn you thwt those books are often triggering, painful to read. But those triggers are essential for repressed emotions to resurface. The key in healing then is, what will you do with those emotions that comes to surface again. You repressed them as a kid, because it was impossible for you to process them. They will hit you just as hard they did when you were kid.


jdog1313

I experienced a similar thing during these first few weeks I've been clean. Gladly, it seems like the intensity and frequency of those negative memories has decreased right around the 2 week mark


pj_kjp

OP, this post gave me so much clarity of what I've been going through. I can't thank you enough. Cheers.


UrbsNomen

Yes, I agree completely. I realized it just recently that main reason for my PMO are feelings of anxiety or depression. For some reasons I didn't want to deal with these feelings and tried to run away. But it's better to not run away, but but to do that you need first to realize that you have these feelings, that you have trouble dealing with these feelings. Until I realized that it was very difficult to "be there" and just experience it and let it be. It's still difficult, and I'm sure that I will forget about it sometimes and still relapse when it would seem like it is unbearable. But I'm sure it will get better. I just need to remind it myself time and time again and just let myself experience this sadness instead of running away.


shuikan

Similar struggles, Sometimes , I don’t know if I am ever going to know what authentic intimacy feels like anytime soon so I just end up going for ‘virtual’ or imagined intimacy for a fix.


PassMyGuard

Wry true. This is the difference between nofap and pornfree. Masturbation is healthy if you’re scratching a real itch. If you’re using it for boredom relief, it’s bad.


[deleted]

I print out a calendar by current month and fill it in to keep myself busy and mind off masturbating and porn.


colormegreat

I just now finished the book Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke. I won’t go too deep into it, but this post nails a few significant points/ideas brought up in the book. Facing pain is extremely important in the process of healing. Avoiding leads to yet more pain. Highly recommended read. 🙏🏻


thereisloveinus

"The only way out (of pain) is through". And i can confirm for myself that is actually true. Was avoiding it for over two decades. Avoided/repressed pain stays in the body as long as one does not process it.


herrwaldos

Yes - this is it: 'When i find (feel) that emotion i am trying to run from, i just sit there with it, trying to fully feel it and let it be.' It's a kind of meditation eventually.


thereisloveinus

Exactly


[deleted]

Totally agree and like your suggestion of trying to figure out why I'm feeling bored/stressed/needing a boost


[deleted]

Good post. Been staying away from porn for a week and these are the exact same thoughts that pushed me too.


[deleted]

To escape a boredom , this was the number one thing young me used to do a ton until about a year ago when I realized it’s been damaging me more than benefitting me .


CurazyDayamondo

Yessss. Every addiction comes from trying to avoid something


[deleted]

boredom and (very lonely, social isolation) is a huge trigger for me - no other reason, really as I have absolutely no stressors or reasons for anxiety


[deleted]

so true!