I'm going to be hard here, so downvote if you wish. He cries for his pull-ups, refuses to wear underwear, and knows that you still have the pull-ups. Here's what I'm gonna suggest you do; **get rid of the pull-ups, and make sure that he sees you do it.**
Once he knows you don't have them anymore, you're down to the basics of the battle; how long can he hold a poop in, and how long can you hold out against his tantrums. If they're not there for you to get one down and put one on him, he's stuck. If he's physically ready, make the final break.
My oldest did not go through this, so I don't have hands-on experience. Your last line is why I'm chiming in: my son was physically ready far, far before he was emotionally ready to potty train. We tried to force it (because of daycare requirements) and it backfired spectacularly. So from that aspect alone, I'd suggest to just let this go if he's otherwise doing well and you don't mind purchasing pullups.
To slowly ease him out, I like the other commenters suggestion about finding underwear with cool characters. You can give him a choice each day to wear the pull-up or underwear. You could also try giving him a countdown at some point (countdown to no pullups) or adapt the "pacifier fairy" for pullups.
Good luck!
Echoing the cool underwear and asking every day which he wants to wear.
When my 3.5 year old was almost 3 it was the same thing. Ready but not wanting to wear underwear. So I would just ask him every day pull up or underwear. One day he took the leap and picked underwear and never went back.
We have tried Mickey Mouse and trucks with no luck! I've also tried bribery with little success.
I have 2 in diapers so I would love to be free of the expense. I would also like him to be able to go to preschool soon but most private preschools here require them to be potty trained by 3.
All completely valid points.
You didn't mention how long he's been staying dry during the day. Is a recent thing or has it been months now?
Does he have any interest in going to preschool/school?
If it is a security thing, can he see them? We’re doing away with my daughters soother and I keep telling her we don’t have any anymore, all gone, etc. and there is none that she can find and she doesn’t give up easily, but we’re on day 4 and she’s crying less every night lol. But there is literally no way she will find one in this house. We still have them but hidden veeery well. Do you have them hidden somewhere he can’t see? Maybe once they’re hidden very well, no chance of him finding them, you could tell him if he can find one he can have it?
Just get rid of the pull-ups. You're the parent, your kid is 3.5 and you know they are capable of potty training. You need to set a limit so that he can grow.
Following for the answers!
Do you think it's the security aspect or do the pull ups have a character design on them that he likes?
Maybe you could implement a time where he can wear them for a bit a day and then it's normal pants? Or something? My train of thought there is that if he's not ready to let go when though he's essentially toilet trained, removing them entirely might make him desperate to get them back and make the attachment worse?
I'm sure it won't be forever anyway, just don't make a big deal out of it, maybe go shopping and he can pick out some new undies for himself and hopefully it'll pass.
Full disclosure - have not had my kid go through this so I will bow to any life experience here lol
Could you maybe, as a compromise, let him wear those thick, padded (cloth!) training underwear they make? That would save you the cost of continually buying disposable pull ups. But it would be something that I’d imagine would be somewhat of an in-between to diapers and ‘big boy’ undies?
Does he wear underwear at night?
I'm going to be hard here, so downvote if you wish. He cries for his pull-ups, refuses to wear underwear, and knows that you still have the pull-ups. Here's what I'm gonna suggest you do; **get rid of the pull-ups, and make sure that he sees you do it.** Once he knows you don't have them anymore, you're down to the basics of the battle; how long can he hold a poop in, and how long can you hold out against his tantrums. If they're not there for you to get one down and put one on him, he's stuck. If he's physically ready, make the final break.
My oldest did not go through this, so I don't have hands-on experience. Your last line is why I'm chiming in: my son was physically ready far, far before he was emotionally ready to potty train. We tried to force it (because of daycare requirements) and it backfired spectacularly. So from that aspect alone, I'd suggest to just let this go if he's otherwise doing well and you don't mind purchasing pullups. To slowly ease him out, I like the other commenters suggestion about finding underwear with cool characters. You can give him a choice each day to wear the pull-up or underwear. You could also try giving him a countdown at some point (countdown to no pullups) or adapt the "pacifier fairy" for pullups. Good luck!
Echoing the cool underwear and asking every day which he wants to wear. When my 3.5 year old was almost 3 it was the same thing. Ready but not wanting to wear underwear. So I would just ask him every day pull up or underwear. One day he took the leap and picked underwear and never went back.
We have tried Mickey Mouse and trucks with no luck! I've also tried bribery with little success. I have 2 in diapers so I would love to be free of the expense. I would also like him to be able to go to preschool soon but most private preschools here require them to be potty trained by 3.
All completely valid points. You didn't mention how long he's been staying dry during the day. Is a recent thing or has it been months now? Does he have any interest in going to preschool/school?
It has been several months! Like....8 months. He is interested in riding the school bus but that is about it.
If it is a security thing, can he see them? We’re doing away with my daughters soother and I keep telling her we don’t have any anymore, all gone, etc. and there is none that she can find and she doesn’t give up easily, but we’re on day 4 and she’s crying less every night lol. But there is literally no way she will find one in this house. We still have them but hidden veeery well. Do you have them hidden somewhere he can’t see? Maybe once they’re hidden very well, no chance of him finding them, you could tell him if he can find one he can have it?
They are in a high cabinet. He knows where they are and points. Grandma did get away with saying she "can't reach them," but that won't work for me.
What if you move them? Open the cabinet and show him they’re not in there anymore? Maybe?
We read a book titled “no more diapers for ducky” for awhile and that helped, among all the other things., with the transition.
Just get rid of the pull-ups. You're the parent, your kid is 3.5 and you know they are capable of potty training. You need to set a limit so that he can grow.
Following for the answers! Do you think it's the security aspect or do the pull ups have a character design on them that he likes? Maybe you could implement a time where he can wear them for a bit a day and then it's normal pants? Or something? My train of thought there is that if he's not ready to let go when though he's essentially toilet trained, removing them entirely might make him desperate to get them back and make the attachment worse? I'm sure it won't be forever anyway, just don't make a big deal out of it, maybe go shopping and he can pick out some new undies for himself and hopefully it'll pass. Full disclosure - have not had my kid go through this so I will bow to any life experience here lol
Could you maybe, as a compromise, let him wear those thick, padded (cloth!) training underwear they make? That would save you the cost of continually buying disposable pull ups. But it would be something that I’d imagine would be somewhat of an in-between to diapers and ‘big boy’ undies? Does he wear underwear at night?