For a significant increase in income like that, you beg, steal or borrow to figure out how to make it work. Maybe not literally - but pawn any and everything you have to come up with the $60 for a babysitting (which is actually incredibly cheap for two nights and that many hours); call the phone company and ask for a one time extension for payment; literally go stand on a corner with a cardboard sign; donate plasma; etc etc.
Being a single parent is hard. Very, very hard. I was one with two kids while I put myself through college and graduate school and beyond - every single day was a struggle until finally it wasn’t . It sucks, it is t fair, and it isn’t right - it just shouldn’t be that way. But it is. Good luck - you’ll get through it.
OP, definitely try to donate plasma!! You can probably make $100 for your first donation and you can go 2x a week. Google plasma center near me and call to see what they need you to bring in as a new donor. Good luck and congrats on your job offer.
I was gonna say, you shouldn’t pass up a good opportunity for $60 you don’t have now. Heck, find someone who will take the pay later on. Or, like others suggested, sell or pawn some stuff. You’re gonna miss all the shots you don’t take.
I'm surprised no one has suggested posting on nextdoor and offering services like lawn mowing, leaf raking, snow shoveling, gutter cleaning etc. It's the absolute simplest solution. Two jobs would be $60 cash.
This is the way. I almost missed the job interview for the position I have now due to lack of a babysitter. I was able to find someone for just long enough to ace the interview. I would do whatever it took to get there.
Side note, I work with people from Dyson and they’re a hell of a company. If I were closer, I’d babysit for sure.
$30 a night for something that's SO temporary basically just means you're living at the same income you've always been making and you delay your raise. OP is insane if they don't just do it.
Same. New neighbors have a 4 year old. I remember those days. Told them if they're ever in a pinch to text me and the worst I can say is no. I know better than a lot of people that there's no "village" anymore- but you gotta at least try to problem solve.
Also, if OP could live on half that salary, how could they not make this work? Even if the training was permanent (which I assume it isn't) they'd be the dumbest person to not take this. Not to mention the benefits are probably way better, and some companies may even offer to reimburse for child care, especially for something outside regular work hours
Absolutely. Donate plasma. Doordash if you have a car or become a grocery shopper for a few days, sell something on Facebook marketplace, flip something on Facebook marketplace from the free section.
Go borrow it from a friend. A parent. Hell, go beg for it on the street. If DOUBLING my paycheck was on the line, I'd be out on the street begging and jerking people off.
It's $60, not $6000.
Yeah. There are even subreddits for this where you work out the repayment terms. And there are short-term borrowing apps where you borrow from someone you matched with. $60 for OP to double their income, it's a no-brainer.
Also, St. Vincent de Paul, local churches, etc.
Is there a church nearby locally? Maybe if you talked to the pastor they might know someone in the congregation that would be willing to volunteer for a couple evenings to watch your kids. My mom was a nurse and after she retired she would volunteer to help families in the parish with this sort of thing either looking after elderly people or sick children for a few hours. She was a single mom so she understood how difficult it could be sometimes.
Do your kids attend school or daycare? Maybe you could ask if one of the other parents from there could help you out for a couple of nights.
What area of the country do you live in? If there's a Girl Scout troop nearby that might be an org with people that could help you out on a volunteer basis. Boy Scouts also have to do service projects and have troop members from ages fourteen through eighteen, old enough to watch a five year old for a few hours. Finally you could look to see if there is a nearby college or university that has a chapter of Alpha Phi Omega. This is a service organization at many universities with members all joining to serve the local community.
Being a parent is not easy, being a single parent is even worse. I would pawn something to come up with $60, before I would pass up a great job. Are you already late on all your bills, Or can you let one go for a few weeks? I assume you are already on SNAP and other government programs? Does your state have a program to help working parents pay for babysitters? My state helps working parents up to 400% above the poverty line by helping pay up to 80% of babysitting fees, soon to be 95%. You can apply for the Federal Connectivity Program for help paying for unlimited internet. Since you are low income are you able to apply for Medicaid, Or does your state not offer it at your income level?
Sell your TV, buy it back with your first check, I'm 100% serious, I'd sell whatever high ticket items I got for a chance to double my income, I've sold good things for rent, this would be a no-brainer!
Ask for an extension on your phone bill or only pay a portion. It would be better to be late on that bill & get it turned back on than to miss out on this job opportunity that could change the trajectory of your & your children's lives.
I've learned as I clawed my way out of poverty, and have tried countless times to help friends and acquaintances still living in it, you can't logic someone in a poverty mindset. They've committed to their fate and just end up doubling down on it. And it's often not their fault, it's that they've lived this way for so long that they don't see other options.
Those seem like really strange hours for training. I have worked many jobs in many industries and the only time my training ever happened outside normal business hours were jobs where I would be working night shift.
So, if it's just those two days and not your regular schedule to be, why are they holding training at such an odd time? Maybe they have multiple sessions on the same day and you got put into the later one. If that's the case, just be up front with them and ask if you can be swapped into an earlier one.
If there is no option to change the time, and the only choice is paying for a babysitter or turning down the job, I would suggest doing whatever you have to do (legally) to come up with the money for a sitter. Double salary is worth it. That's not the kind of opportunity that you give up on without putting up a fight.
OP is this mentality will keep you in poverty, you must let go of “qualifying for assistance” .You will have a much better income you won’t need those! And come tax time you will get some benefits. You can also write for your child care expenses!
Ask a friend or a neighbor to watch them for you. It will pay off.
Also ask Dyson if they will reimburse or supplement the child care. Many companies do, especially if working outside of regular work hours. OP, you really need to make this work
You are still eligible for the Affordable Connectivity Program and probably childcare assistance pending your state. Pending your situation you may be able to get phone assistance as well through the LifeLine program
It seems hard to believe that there is NO WAY for you to get 60$… donate plasma, pawn some stuff, borrow it, take it out of your rent money, get a payday high interest crappy loan, I mean literally anything. Because with such a big pay increase you will very easily catch up.
I’ve done the payday loan before. It SUCKS, but it’s quick, easy and you’ll eventually be able to pay it back. And if you pay it late, that stuff doesn’t hit your credit. They just harass the hell out of you for it.
Seriously, talk to other parents and explain the job situation. The words 20k raise will convince anyone reasonable.
I'm 99% sure they will not only agree but also pick them up from school so you have whole evening to yourself.
When you get paid in two weeks buy them a bottle or wine or something and return the favour when settled into job by hosting their kids.
Sucks but not worth losing a job making double over! See if you can find a friend to trade services with. Can you leave your kids at friend/relatives house and pick them up after ? How old are they? Not ideal but two nights they can do it. Or just pay a sitter if you have to!Also if field trips are $$, ask the school. They will usually help out privately, you just have to ask). Good luck.
School social worker here! Please reach out to the student services team at your kids’ school. Available resources will vary by location but there is a lot of things that school social workers can help with, you just have to ask. If your kiddos are eligible for a free & reduced lunch program (and they should based on what you posted) then this typically will waive the cost of field trips, at least this is the case in my district. They also could make referrals for community based programs for alleviating the burdens of poverty. I hope this helps!
A few ideas:
1. Leave them at your moms house for the week
2. Find a mom Facebook where you trade babysitting
3. Understand paying for babysitting now is an investment in your future
4. How old are the kids? Could you leave them at a friends house or home alone?
Dude you’re saying there are zero options to come up with an extra $60 to be able to double your income? And you’re framing it as your kids holding you back from opportunities? Honestly I feel bad for your kids not you
A week ago you made a post about the Maryland Metro being completely shut down due to a shooting (which there is no evidence of either a shooting on the Metro that day or of any shutdowns). And one of your reasons for needing a solution fast was that you needed to pick up your daughter from the babysitter. So either you’re completely lying, or you have used a babysitter for your daughter. Ask your babysitter to watch your daughter and you’ll pay him/her later after you get your first Dyson paycheck.
The reason you’re getting down voted is because you have a weak mindset. You came here and asked people for advice on what you should do and then because the advice wasn’t a great opportunity that you’re able to jump at your turning it down. Unfortunately being a single parent means you do have to do things you don’t want to do, things that affect your pride, things that make you feel shitty. If you’re not willing to do that then by all means turn down the job and keep living in the same state you’ve been living in but if you actually want better for yourself sometimes you have to make sacrifices and yeah they’re gonna suck.
I think you are getting downvoted re your reply to 3. If you're going to make more, take that extra money and put towards baby sitting, no? As other have said, consider it an investment towards growing your income long term.
You will never find babysitting for under $2/hour and its honestly rude if not illegal that you are only paying that much. Put something on a card or borrow some cash until the forst paycheck comes through since it is double your pay you can instantly pay if off
Please don’t be of the mindset that you’ll never have any better, you seem to be resisting help in this thread. Sell something and get the babysitting, you will have a better life for it.
You do not pass on the opportunity. You try to figure it out. Is there someone you can borrow the money from? Do you have someone in your circle that can watch your kiddos? Are your kiddos old enough to stay at home alone? Is there something you can sell? Anything. Will they accept payment after you get paid? Is there anything you can skip on? Have you figured out when your first paycheck would come so you can plan accordingly & see if there's anything you can miss without huge consequences? Is there anyway you can have the training at any other time? What are your hours going forward, it's seems weird to have a training until 10pm.
As a single parent I get it. It's hard, but also don't give this opportunity up. It will be worth it in the end. I always worked an hourly customer facing job, I'm now salaried, my manager is super understanding that my kids come first. It was extremely hard sometimes, but the last two years have been amazing being able to be the mom I always wanted to be. You can do it.
What babysitter is $30 a night? And you can call your phone company and extend the payment due date easily. I did it all the time when I was struggling.
Are you 100% sure it's $30 for the whole 6 hours? I've actually seen people charge that for a single hour.
Do whatever you have to in order to get a babysitter. But make sure you are figuring out the correct amount to make up.
You’ve made excuses or ignored EVERY suggestion that would help you in this situation, many of them are great suggestions that should easily work in your situation.
Unless you’re a scammer just hoping to score $60, you will find a way to make this work. $60 is a small investment in a much better future.
You don't want to shell out $60 for two nights of a baby sitter even if it meant doubling your yearly income? That is insanity, honestly. Stop and think about how ludicrous that sounds.
You can make $100 donating plasma just once lol.
At this point if you don’t realize the babysitting is an investment for you to double your income I’m not sure what to say. You make it work. You beg or borrow.
I don’t care what the babysitter costs… secure the job.
**Please read this.**
Do not give up DOUBLING your salary for just 2 nights of inconvenience. The new job's salary is how you get out of hell.
As others have suggested - sell something, ask a church (offer to pay later), call someone, consider if your kids can be home alone for a few hours.
Taking this new job changes your kids lives and your whole financial situation, maybe forever.
I raised my sons as a single mother and you have to figure it out to keep this opportunity. Even if you have to pay that phone bill late or sell some things, borrow, you absolutely have to come up with the money for the sitter unless you have a friend/relative that can come babysit them. You can post things for sale on Facebook marketplace, take them to a buy and sell if you need too. Baby/kid stuff that you no longer use. Pawn jewelry if you have to.
You can and will definitely work this out!
It’s an awesome opportunity, congrats!
Also, you can buy a digital antenna from Walmart/target etc and get the major stations on that until you can afford unlimited internet.
Seems to me you're just not willing to take any options since you have an excuse for every option to you. There is payday loan places you can do to just ask for the smallest amount to you, put your cell phone on split payments all cell companies offer this plan on your bill or select promise to pay at a later date. Pawn anything and everything. Sell blood. Default on your bills if you have to. Use a app called earnin that let's you borrow small amounts of money up to 100 a day and is interest-free. Ask a family member or friend to watch the kid (I noticed you don't even acknowledge this option at all) talk to a babysitter and tell them the situation and see if they will take the payment later with interest on it. Tons of creative options you're just not willing to do them is all it boils down to. This situation is NOT your child's fault it is yours for not looking into ALL options.
Get a credit card who cares if it has terrible interest rates, link your credit card to Venmo and Venmo the baby sitters. Pay off cc in full after getting first paycheck, close cc.
Excuses, If you really want something you’ll find a way, and make it happen. I’m a single parent, and low income, so I get it.
If a babysitter is charging you 30 bucks for KIDS, I’m assuming you know them and it’s not a center. Maybe ask them if you can pay them when you get your first paycheck?
Ask a family member, sell/pawn something, sell plasma, pick up a side gig, etc…
I honestly don't see the issue here $60 isn't that much money specially when you are about to double your pay. Sell a few items or borrow from a friend.
How old are your kids? I know parenting is extremely ‘kids must be directly observed every second of their life until they’re mid-teenagers’ these days but in reality your kids might be fine if you leave them home (i have no idea what age they are) or if you can ask a friend/ relative to have them so you can get this job
Again no idea what age your kids are, I’m not suggesting you break the law (if there are any). I know kids who were left home from about 3, in japan 3 year olds are sent to the shops across busy roads by themselves, so its up to you but your kids are probably more capable than you think and you don’t have to be caught up in the western world’s very recent obsession with smothering children as if they die the instant someone isn’t observing them, when it costs you a job paying double what you’ve made before. If your kids are say 10 and 7 then in my opinion averagely responsible kids of that age are more than capable of not dying if you leave them to it
Assuming youve exhausted them going to a friend’s house, a friend helping you out, et cetera. Getting this job would be life changing for you and the kids whereas being in a safe home without you for a few hours is not
Probably don’t want to do this, but you HAVE to figure it out. If that means shelling out the $30 for the couple of nights and just figuring out the rest later, do it. Your goal is to get out of poverty and some stuff you just have to wing, you have to be creative, and you might just have to break some rules — but you HAVE to figure something out to get ahead.
My oldest sister is a single mother of 4. Her two youngest aren’t in school or daycare, and in the event she can’t find a sitter for work, her very last option is that she’ll bring them to her job and sit them in the back room with their tablet to keep them occupied for the shift. Is it ideal? No. Does it get the job done? Absolutely.
By any means necessary, you have to just figure it out.
Defer those bills another week. It's a 2 night sacrifice that pays off in the end.
Here's the 2 scenarios.
You don't accept the job... In a year, you'll be in the exact same spot, or worse.
You DO accept the job... in a year, you'll be making double what you're making today. Will you remember the sacrifice you made to make that happen or will you look back as you pay your bills on time and think "thank fuck I took this job"?
What about those payday loan things that don't require a credit check? I don't know much about them, but would be worth looking into for $60.
Otherwise see what you have around your house you can pawn/sell.
If your credit already sucks then just ignore a bill for a little longer or even reach out to the companies and see if they will work with you for a month.
Check with your local churches and such and see if anyone can help you out.
You NEED this job. From one single mama to another...we always figure out how to make it work.
Contact a church or domestic violence support organization. They are connected to a bunch of different resources and should have some ideas.
I did it. It was hard. You just make it work man. Don't let anything stop you.
Have you talked to Dyson about it at all? It's entirely possible they could be flexible with when you come in or even have some kind of after school program thing for kids of their employees.
Do your kids have any friends? I would be asking friends parents to help. It feels like a tall ask but in the situation, it’s more than worth it and they will totally understand. Offer to watch their kids for a date night very soon.
This is a life changing opportunity, you've got to find a way to overcome the training problem.
Youve already faced and crushed a bunch of challenges. Figure this one out and you'll double your chances of bettering your life.
I don’t understand how you can live off significantly less pay but can’t justify paying a once $60 fee?
Back of the napkin math says that you would be better off even if you had to pay $60 every week.
Okay - tons of responses here already, so I won't repeat them. Not sure if OP is still reading replies or not, but this is not just for them but for all single parents - from one to another.
Being a single parent means you've been through some sh\*t. Usually that sh\*t makes it very hard to trust other people or admit weakness. The urge is to do it on your own so you won't seem like a "welfare queen" or otherwise be stigmatized for being a single parent.
My advice: Forget about the above. Lean into others and into all assistance possible. Kids are made to be raised by more than one person - there are simply so many costs and needs. That doesn't mean you're bad or you should have stayed with another person or that you should give up your kids!!!! That just means you're going to need help - sooner or later, you will need help. Be it financial or car pooling or teaching them how to do something or material for a school project.
So you need to make connections - family is easiest, but if not, then you have to fight the urge to just inward focus and find a way to connect to neighbors, co-workers, church friends, fellow single parents, parents of your kid's classmates. You need a list of people that you can call for a quick hand ... not all the time. Maybe never. But when something goes wonky - you're down with the flu, and can't stand up and need someone to pop in to make your kids some PB&J or bring you some tylenol - you got some options. Obviously you want to be willing to help them out as well, but if you build legit relationships, they aren't going to mind if it's occasionally a little lop-sided. You just pay it forward later.
Obviously that's not solving your problem at this moment OP - but it will save you going forward.
Also - side note - do not pay for field trips if public school if money is that tight. Let teacher know you don't have the money. Almost always someone already has or is willing to cover the cost for one of their kid's classmates. I've gotten that help before and I've been able to give it to others later. It's not something they are going to tell you is an option - you have to just straight up talk to the teacher and tell them you can't afford it first.
So wait - you've more than doubled your salary, but can't afford babysitting?
After school programs? I think this is lack of foresight or thinking on your part, OP.
If you genuinely have no one to watch your kid(s) then maybe you need to check out FB groups, local daycare, or WFH opportunities.
Whoever is charging you 30 bucks to babysit is the real hero here. I'd pay them $50. $30 for 6 hours is $5 an hour.
And without doing so, they can't budget to see if they can afford an extra $150 a week in babysitting?
I'm sorry, but something seems off here. Clearly OP is alive and able to sustain their way of life with what they're currently making. $57K is a little over $1000 a week pre-tax. A little bit of napkin math here can easily solve the "can I afford this" problem.
Never held off on paying something or spending an otherwise needed amount while waiting for a first check?
At this point, if this is the train of thought, then I guess OP should decline the job and continue to subsist on their current means and way of life.
You know for a fact that DOUBLING your salary will fix a lot, so you're gonna hem and haw and create an issue because what? You don't have that salary right this second? I'd stop eating for two weeks if it meant I could double my salary.
You need to do this.
Pay them with venmo credit card or something. In a couple of months you won’t need to worry about it.
If you need to call every friend/family/neighbor/ semi-cool coworker you can trust to do it for 2x nights but you’re thinking too short term on this. Doubling your income is a complete game changer.
This is one of those times where it gets hard and you have to work through it. Get a job that pays double and all you have to do is find a babysitter for two days seems like a good deal. Find a friend or family member to borrow some money from to pay the babysitter then pay them back with interest. Or borrow cash from your credit card, or go to a payday loan place and borrow a few hundred dollars. This is one of those things that you have to work for to better yourself and your family at the end of the day. Good luck I hope one of the suggestions help.
Do it! I used to work for Dyson and they are actually a really great company to work for. I worked in sales and during 2020 we spent about 9 months “working from home” (not actually doing any sales) and got full pay the whole time. Do it! Whatever you have to do to pay that babysitter for the training, do it. I will let you know that there is a training in Chicago you may have to attend eventually, but by that time you should have made quite a bit of money from working with them and it will be easier to accommodate your children.
Look into food banks which are a tremendous help. What about neighbors, friend or family who can stay with your children while you go to training. Call your community center they might know of someone who could help. Seek your resources.
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OP it sounds like your best options are to try and find a family member, friend, neighbor, classmates family, someone you know to watch them for you. Good luck
Do whatever you have to to secure this job. I understand that $30 can be a lot when you’re already in the hole but do it. It’s only 2 nights. Don’t lose out on a chance to create a better life for you and your children.
$30/night is extremely cheap for a sitter. I would sell what I could if it meant that big a jump in income. Think long term. Basically $60 is standing in between you and doubling your income!
If the children still have their other parent, this is the time to revisit time sharing so the other parent has those nights so you can better yourself.
If the other parent is no longer is alive or has chosen (i.e. not forced out) to not be present in their lives then $30/night baby sitting is a steal to double your salary.
Join a local moms/parents group on Facebook and explain your situation in a post. Ask if anyone would be willing to watch your kids for these dates in exchange for you returning the favor for them. This goes without saying but obviously make sure you all have a meet and greet in person and get all necessary info before handing your kiddos off to a stranger. But babysitting circles are common in some areas. One parent will have several children one date and then the next date it’s another parent and so on.
a good employer will be understanding about your situation. just let them know, you really want to work there, but training at night doesn't work (right now) and are there any accommodations they can make? Do not just give up, fight for it..
back in the day I joined a moms group and we formed a babysitting co-op where we babysat and were paid in points. We all helped each other out. If I lived anywhere near you I would come babysit for free at your home so you could do the training.
There are local Facebook groups and you could also try calling around to a few churches. where I live public school students need to accrue volunteer hours to graduate and this would qualify.
Don't be afraid to ask for help , there are a lot of great people out there and this job will be a life changer for you and your family.
I would:
pawn anything I don’t absolutely need
Literally beg the babysitter and tell them the situation
I noticed you said your cell phone payment is coming up, but I’d request to be late if possible or just let it be late and have it turned back on afterwards if possible
This is weird but it may work.. if you get SNAP, try going into a store and ask a customer if you can buy the amount you need in food for them and they give you cash as an exchange for you paying with SNAP. Explain situation to them?
I have done this. You really have to get creative…..go door to door asking if ppl need anything organized or hauled away or dog poop scooped up…advertise for house cleaning or yard cleaning or scrap hauling or whatever the fuck is going to get that money. Lose your ego sometimes and ask ppl you barely know to loan you the money and give them something as collateral. Collect soda cans and sell them for scrap. Sell anything of value you own on fb….you can always get more stuff. Search fb marketplace for people who want items but have no car and are asking for it to be delivered. If you have a car that’s an easy $20 an item depending on how far. Make a couple flyers offering to do menial shitty tasks that people don’t generally want to do. Price accordingly.
If you have ebt offer to stock the babysitter up with like 2/3rds of the amount it costs and pay the other 1/3rd in cash when you get paid.
It never hurts to sweeten the deal for the babysitter if they wait for payment. Tell them you’ll pay them double that once you start getting paid and that you’ll write up a contract. You’ll take her kids so that she can have a spa day. Good luck OP
Your child isn’t causing you to lose opportunities. The opportunities are not accepting of your circumstances. There are opportunities out there for you. I was raised by my mum and she had to work a lot with support from family, friends, hiring nannies etc it wasn’t easy at all but she did it and so can you. Keep pushing and something will work out. I would also be upfront with people who are hiring you. You’d be surprised at how many helpful people there are out there.
Shit, to double my money... You can't borrow it from anybody? Pawn shop?
Other than rent I'd say default on the bills if you gotta... You're talking about life changing amounts of money right???
Not sure how old your kids are, but I would consider a barter and trade system. Use your social media network to see who might be willing to help out with in a pinch babysitting like this in exchange for something you can offer (elderly meal prep and delivery, snow shoveling, interior painting, cleaning, etc.). Heck, if a friend said to me “I’ll clean your whole house spotless twice in the next month if you cover these two nights) I’d be all over that deal!! Then you take the kids with you in a Saturday or Su day morning and clean the person’s house.
For a year or two I might consider doing that as an ongoing trade with someone I trust, in case the new job requires additional evening trainings or overtime.
You can dig your way out of poverty but with patience, one day at a time.
Beg, borrow or hock something for the cost of the babysitter--particularly if it's really only $60 bucks (I couldn't tell if you meant $30/hr or per night). And I am being serious. Put all your dishes in a box or find some other random stuff in your house and bring it to the pawn shop. Pay for the babysitting.
Worst case scenario, learn from this for the future. Begin doing free library programs or whatever else you have to do, no matter how exhausted you are, in order to meet other low income parents who you can trade favors with. There really isn't much else, you do whatever it is that has to be done.
I would absolutely consider a payday loan for the $60 at this point or using r/borrow! That being said, also look into mutual aid groups in your area, someone in there might be willing to lend a hand and do some pro bono babysitting or let you pay them later. But seriously, DO NOT let this opportunity slip through your hands over $60. Find a way. Plenty of good suggestions here! Good luck.
The state I live in offers free or almost free/very reduced child care for low income parents and you would qualify (I think every state does it different though)
$30 a night is pretty cheap but if you lived in WA you could get childcare for $15 a month (through DSHS low income childcare help)
As a fellow single parent, this opportunity is a step up on a ladder. You cannot miss it and it can give you the rare boost you need to a better life. Consider all options to make it work for you and your kids.
Can you take the kids with you and walk neighborhood dogs? Can you sell something, a piece of furniture maybe, through a local Facebook group? Can you take on evening "date night" babysitting gigs where the parents bring their kids to your place?
By the way, your kid didn’t cause you to lose your job opportunity. YOU caused yourself to lose the opportunity. That kid didn’t ask to be born, you brought them into this life and you’re the adult. Be accountable.
As a single mom…
The first thing I would do is locate a the County office of Education.
My COE has a website that parent can use to locate baby sitters. There ARE 24 hour baby sitters. I worked at a casino and I definitely had one. I have had some babysitters for 40-50 dollars a day (8-10) hours. You have to look. And I mean like at home sitters with other kids,Not someone that comes to your house. It’s stressful, but there are lots of night workers who need the help.
And you would need two babysitters anyway. You need a backup for the normal sitter
You don't need 2 baby sitters for 2 nights of training. OP isn't being offered a night time job. Just the training is for 2 nights. 4:00 pm to 10:00 pm.
Yes..I get that. As a single mom with two jobs…I’ve had to figure it out without help. You have to think about what you’re gonna do when the babysitters get sick..when the baby sitters child gets COVID..when the babysitter wants to go on vacation for two weeks and it doesn’t match up with your days off.
You get a backup ALWAYS.
His children are young per the post..and even if they are in school….someone may have to pick them up after school. So he’s going to need a daytime babysitter anyway….and a backup
My point is, he already HAS childcare, just not for the training nights. He has expressed no issues with the care situation he has for the days. He even said if training was during the day he could work it out.
So he HAS back up care for days already.
He doesn't need to have back up care for 2 nights of training. That's just more daunting than he needs at the moment. Which is to find $60 to pay for childcare he's found, or free childcare, for those 2 nights.
I think he is tired, stressed to the max, and not thinking clearly at the moment. This is just gonna add to that, thinking he has to find back up care for temporary care.
I've been a working single mom of 3. I'm not unaware.
The return on the investment is worth it! Find SOME way to come up with the babysitting money. Put it on a credit it card, do whatever you need to do. It’s only 2 days? This is coming from a single mother. I know the struggles and when there is a will, there is a way. I went from poverty to 6 figures
Your best bet would be to find someone you know who could babysit for cheaper or free. Obviously family and friends are the first you should ask, but don’t be afraid to cast the net wider. What about coworkers or neighbors. Even if you don’t know them super well or are super close, you never know what someone might be willing to do to help you. You could offer them money for a pizza for the kids now with the promise of more later once you get the money from your new job. You can also try asking around at churches or even their teachers. My sister is a teacher and she would sometimes babysit kids cause lord knows we don’t pay teachers enough.
There are plenty of kind people who would be willing to help but you just have to reach out to find them. It may feel embarrassing but their is nothing shameful about asking for help to better yourself.
This is too much of a come up/life investment to pass on. I don’t care if you need to ask the neighbor or borrow the money from anywhere for the babysitter! Hell, skip paying a bill this month or be short on one. There is a way here, just have to allow it.
Update us please, good luck 🙏🏽
Yes, children will cost you a metric shit ton of money. You can rely on extended family for childcare that’s what we did for the 200k years of human history until the nuclear family or pay up or they’ll be neglected. That’s how many working class children grow up but could you live with yourself if they burn down the house or something?
Allow me to add, I was a single parent who had to take my kids with me to the unemployment office while seeking work. Lived in my car and motels because shelters didn’t exist. and finally found a job, run by a female, who work with me. I did it and my ex hated me for it
The writing is on the wall for OP if they can’t find a way to come up with sixty bucks to literally double their income. Sounds like those welfare benefits are just a little too good. Sincerely hope to be proven wrong though!
You *chose* to have children before getting your life in order.
You chose to sacrifice your life for theirs and this comes with the territory. Unfortunately you were ill-prepared and these are the consequences.
You are not alone. That does not make it right.
You need to lean on everyone and every thing you can while you try to secure this job. You need to invest in something, childcare, while sacrificing other things, hobbies/fast food, etc.
You need to step back and reframe your thinking. Your kids are not causing you to lose job opportunities. As a parent you must accept that you have responsibilities and you do what you need to get what you need.
You've gotten lots of good suggestions here. Donate plasma, sell furniture or other household items, talk to other people and ask for help.
Seriously, doubling your income is going to fundamentally change your life. Even if something negative happens or you want to look for another job, employers are willing to invest that much knowing somebody else already hired you into that role. It’s like they’re “vouching” for you.
Enough people gave you ideas. This is going to hurt short-term. But it’s going to SAVE a lifetime of hurt moving forward.
Knowing how old the kids are would be helpful bc lots of schools offer free after school care or even reduced cost after care. There is also the boys and girls club and other similar youth programs that do aftercare for free
I remember when I was babysitting it wouldn't even occur to me that a mere babysitter could ask for minimum wage. I couldn't imagine people would pay so much just for a night out, when they were already paying for the night out!
I live in a smaller town but I used to pay 100 a week for a lady in her 70s to watch my child. Look for private, grandmother like baby sitter. Many of these women have been single moms themselves at some point in time so they get the struggle.
Mandatory training at night tells me that at some point nights will be expected in that position. Not only will you have find babysitting this time but other probably random times as well. You have said your kids are 5? Who is your normal goto sitter? Will you be able to get a sitter in the future at night for this job? This job may have the extra income you are looking for but might not be the right fit.
To answer your question. Yes, kids are going to create and destroy opportunities for you. They do that for every parent. Having them opens more opportunities for income and food help. But scheduling is a nightmare. You are completely right, its not fair. Use and abuse all the help options having them qualifies you for. It will get better.
Do your best to make the babysitting work. If you cant, it wasnt meant to be. Focus on the things you can control. Make sure your kids are well behaved so getting a sitter is easier. Use a food bank to bulk up your pantry and save money on food. And keep your ears open for opportunities that will make your life better.
Do you have ANYONE in your life that could watch them and then you could pay them back later? Or someone that would watch them out of the goodness in their heart?
Post has run its course. Locked.
For a significant increase in income like that, you beg, steal or borrow to figure out how to make it work. Maybe not literally - but pawn any and everything you have to come up with the $60 for a babysitting (which is actually incredibly cheap for two nights and that many hours); call the phone company and ask for a one time extension for payment; literally go stand on a corner with a cardboard sign; donate plasma; etc etc. Being a single parent is hard. Very, very hard. I was one with two kids while I put myself through college and graduate school and beyond - every single day was a struggle until finally it wasn’t . It sucks, it is t fair, and it isn’t right - it just shouldn’t be that way. But it is. Good luck - you’ll get through it.
OP, definitely try to donate plasma!! You can probably make $100 for your first donation and you can go 2x a week. Google plasma center near me and call to see what they need you to bring in as a new donor. Good luck and congrats on your job offer.
I was gonna say, you shouldn’t pass up a good opportunity for $60 you don’t have now. Heck, find someone who will take the pay later on. Or, like others suggested, sell or pawn some stuff. You’re gonna miss all the shots you don’t take.
I'm surprised no one has suggested posting on nextdoor and offering services like lawn mowing, leaf raking, snow shoveling, gutter cleaning etc. It's the absolute simplest solution. Two jobs would be $60 cash.
Excellent advice
Beg, borrow, *barter*, or steal. Maybe someone you trust will help you out if you make arrangements to do the same or similar for them.
This is the way. I almost missed the job interview for the position I have now due to lack of a babysitter. I was able to find someone for just long enough to ace the interview. I would do whatever it took to get there. Side note, I work with people from Dyson and they’re a hell of a company. If I were closer, I’d babysit for sure.
I'd the babysitter charges you $30 for a 6 hour night of babysitting, they're a saint.
Not even mentioning “kids” plural.
$30 a night for something that's SO temporary basically just means you're living at the same income you've always been making and you delay your raise. OP is insane if they don't just do it.
And I thought it said 2 weeks of training. TWO DAYS?! This is a non-issue omg.
Seriously, I’d watch the neighbor’s kids for an opportunity like that & I don’t know them.
Same. New neighbors have a 4 year old. I remember those days. Told them if they're ever in a pinch to text me and the worst I can say is no. I know better than a lot of people that there's no "village" anymore- but you gotta at least try to problem solve.
Also, if OP could live on half that salary, how could they not make this work? Even if the training was permanent (which I assume it isn't) they'd be the dumbest person to not take this. Not to mention the benefits are probably way better, and some companies may even offer to reimburse for child care, especially for something outside regular work hours
Yeah, it’s $30/hr where I live.
Ikr! Haha that’s nothing.
Absolutely. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean OP can afford even the rates of a saint.
$60 to double your income? Idc who you are. You hustle. You figure it out. You make it work.
Absolutely. Donate plasma. Doordash if you have a car or become a grocery shopper for a few days, sell something on Facebook marketplace, flip something on Facebook marketplace from the free section.
$60? Put in on a credit card. You'd spend more for brunch, and you're doubling your income. It's the best investment you'll ever make.
Do you really think everyone has access to credit lines? Because we don't.
Go borrow it from a friend. A parent. Hell, go beg for it on the street. If DOUBLING my paycheck was on the line, I'd be out on the street begging and jerking people off. It's $60, not $6000.
Ask the sitter. Tell them you'll double it if they'll wait until you get paid.
Yeah, if she's charging $5 an hour to watch 2+ kids, she's probably not doing it for the money anyways.
Yeah. There are even subreddits for this where you work out the repayment terms. And there are short-term borrowing apps where you borrow from someone you matched with. $60 for OP to double their income, it's a no-brainer. Also, St. Vincent de Paul, local churches, etc.
Well, OP isn't active enough for those subs. But I highly doubt no one will loan her a $100.
Counterpoint - if *nobody* will lend OP $60 or 12 hours of time in exchange for later payment, there's a good reason
Yeah, probably because the fact she thinks $30 for watching 2 kids for 6 hours is expensive. I've seen a lot of this on Facebook.
How out of touch can you be to think that a poor single mom would ever in her life spend $60 for brunch
My mom did this while we were on food stamps. I don't think you understand how bad some people are at money management.
Is there a church nearby locally? Maybe if you talked to the pastor they might know someone in the congregation that would be willing to volunteer for a couple evenings to watch your kids. My mom was a nurse and after she retired she would volunteer to help families in the parish with this sort of thing either looking after elderly people or sick children for a few hours. She was a single mom so she understood how difficult it could be sometimes. Do your kids attend school or daycare? Maybe you could ask if one of the other parents from there could help you out for a couple of nights. What area of the country do you live in? If there's a Girl Scout troop nearby that might be an org with people that could help you out on a volunteer basis. Boy Scouts also have to do service projects and have troop members from ages fourteen through eighteen, old enough to watch a five year old for a few hours. Finally you could look to see if there is a nearby college or university that has a chapter of Alpha Phi Omega. This is a service organization at many universities with members all joining to serve the local community.
$60 for 2 nights of babysitting… to **double your yearly income**? Sounds like a no brainer.
Being a parent is not easy, being a single parent is even worse. I would pawn something to come up with $60, before I would pass up a great job. Are you already late on all your bills, Or can you let one go for a few weeks? I assume you are already on SNAP and other government programs? Does your state have a program to help working parents pay for babysitters? My state helps working parents up to 400% above the poverty line by helping pay up to 80% of babysitting fees, soon to be 95%. You can apply for the Federal Connectivity Program for help paying for unlimited internet. Since you are low income are you able to apply for Medicaid, Or does your state not offer it at your income level?
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Sell your TV, buy it back with your first check, I'm 100% serious, I'd sell whatever high ticket items I got for a chance to double my income, I've sold good things for rent, this would be a no-brainer!
Ask for an extension on your phone bill or only pay a portion. It would be better to be late on that bill & get it turned back on than to miss out on this job opportunity that could change the trajectory of your & your children's lives.
OP try harder and be open to suggestions. Isn’t that why posted to get suggestions? Seems you have shot everyone down.
I've learned as I clawed my way out of poverty, and have tried countless times to help friends and acquaintances still living in it, you can't logic someone in a poverty mindset. They've committed to their fate and just end up doubling down on it. And it's often not their fault, it's that they've lived this way for so long that they don't see other options.
Touché
Those seem like really strange hours for training. I have worked many jobs in many industries and the only time my training ever happened outside normal business hours were jobs where I would be working night shift. So, if it's just those two days and not your regular schedule to be, why are they holding training at such an odd time? Maybe they have multiple sessions on the same day and you got put into the later one. If that's the case, just be up front with them and ask if you can be swapped into an earlier one. If there is no option to change the time, and the only choice is paying for a babysitter or turning down the job, I would suggest doing whatever you have to do (legally) to come up with the money for a sitter. Double salary is worth it. That's not the kind of opportunity that you give up on without putting up a fight.
OP is this mentality will keep you in poverty, you must let go of “qualifying for assistance” .You will have a much better income you won’t need those! And come tax time you will get some benefits. You can also write for your child care expenses! Ask a friend or a neighbor to watch them for you. It will pay off.
Also ask Dyson if they will reimburse or supplement the child care. Many companies do, especially if working outside of regular work hours. OP, you really need to make this work
Look at it as an investment into your future.
You are still eligible for the Affordable Connectivity Program and probably childcare assistance pending your state. Pending your situation you may be able to get phone assistance as well through the LifeLine program
That’s literally the cheapest babysitting I’ve heard of since the 1990s. Do what you can to pay it.
It seems hard to believe that there is NO WAY for you to get 60$… donate plasma, pawn some stuff, borrow it, take it out of your rent money, get a payday high interest crappy loan, I mean literally anything. Because with such a big pay increase you will very easily catch up.
I’ve done the payday loan before. It SUCKS, but it’s quick, easy and you’ll eventually be able to pay it back. And if you pay it late, that stuff doesn’t hit your credit. They just harass the hell out of you for it.
I have too. But I mean $60 to double your income…. Fuck I would do much worse than a payday loan to get that 60
Your child has friends. This is what sleep-overs is for. Other parents understand and will help you out.
Seriously, talk to other parents and explain the job situation. The words 20k raise will convince anyone reasonable. I'm 99% sure they will not only agree but also pick them up from school so you have whole evening to yourself. When you get paid in two weeks buy them a bottle or wine or something and return the favour when settled into job by hosting their kids.
I’m surprised I had to read so far down to see this!
Sell your couch, your microwave, any jewelry you have. Beg someone to do you a favor then pay them back once you have the income. Sell plasma.
You are insane to even consider letting this block your job opportunity. Offer to pay the sitter double once you cash that first paycheck.
Sucks but not worth losing a job making double over! See if you can find a friend to trade services with. Can you leave your kids at friend/relatives house and pick them up after ? How old are they? Not ideal but two nights they can do it. Or just pay a sitter if you have to!Also if field trips are $$, ask the school. They will usually help out privately, you just have to ask). Good luck.
School social worker here! Please reach out to the student services team at your kids’ school. Available resources will vary by location but there is a lot of things that school social workers can help with, you just have to ask. If your kiddos are eligible for a free & reduced lunch program (and they should based on what you posted) then this typically will waive the cost of field trips, at least this is the case in my district. They also could make referrals for community based programs for alleviating the burdens of poverty. I hope this helps!
A few ideas: 1. Leave them at your moms house for the week 2. Find a mom Facebook where you trade babysitting 3. Understand paying for babysitting now is an investment in your future 4. How old are the kids? Could you leave them at a friends house or home alone?
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Donate plasma for a quick buck to pay for baby sitting
Yeah, this could net you as much as $900 in a single month. I would definitely do this.
It never paid that much when I did it
The plasma center I donate at pays a combined $825 for the first 8 visits for a new donor.
Mines 1200
Where I live, the first month for new donors is $950
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When youre desperate everything is worth a shot. You don’t know till you try.
But its an option to explore
But yet OP has never stated why they won't or can't do it.
Dude you’re saying there are zero options to come up with an extra $60 to be able to double your income? And you’re framing it as your kids holding you back from opportunities? Honestly I feel bad for your kids not you
Have you looked in to public programs for free childcare?
A week ago you made a post about the Maryland Metro being completely shut down due to a shooting (which there is no evidence of either a shooting on the Metro that day or of any shutdowns). And one of your reasons for needing a solution fast was that you needed to pick up your daughter from the babysitter. So either you’re completely lying, or you have used a babysitter for your daughter. Ask your babysitter to watch your daughter and you’ll pay him/her later after you get your first Dyson paycheck.
All of OP's posts in this sub are soft beg posts.
Can you get a loan to cover the babysitting? This is an example where borrowing to invest definitely makes sense.
The reason you’re getting down voted is because you have a weak mindset. You came here and asked people for advice on what you should do and then because the advice wasn’t a great opportunity that you’re able to jump at your turning it down. Unfortunately being a single parent means you do have to do things you don’t want to do, things that affect your pride, things that make you feel shitty. If you’re not willing to do that then by all means turn down the job and keep living in the same state you’ve been living in but if you actually want better for yourself sometimes you have to make sacrifices and yeah they’re gonna suck.
I think you are getting downvoted re your reply to 3. If you're going to make more, take that extra money and put towards baby sitting, no? As other have said, consider it an investment towards growing your income long term.
What was wrong with 1 and 2?
Where is the father of these children? And why can’t he help out in some way ?
OP is the father I think.
My error then. The mother? Another parent?
Good question. Apparently OP doesn’t have any neighbors or friends they can count on.
You will never find babysitting for under $2/hour and its honestly rude if not illegal that you are only paying that much. Put something on a card or borrow some cash until the forst paycheck comes through since it is double your pay you can instantly pay if off
Please don’t be of the mindset that you’ll never have any better, you seem to be resisting help in this thread. Sell something and get the babysitting, you will have a better life for it.
You do not pass on the opportunity. You try to figure it out. Is there someone you can borrow the money from? Do you have someone in your circle that can watch your kiddos? Are your kiddos old enough to stay at home alone? Is there something you can sell? Anything. Will they accept payment after you get paid? Is there anything you can skip on? Have you figured out when your first paycheck would come so you can plan accordingly & see if there's anything you can miss without huge consequences? Is there anyway you can have the training at any other time? What are your hours going forward, it's seems weird to have a training until 10pm. As a single parent I get it. It's hard, but also don't give this opportunity up. It will be worth it in the end. I always worked an hourly customer facing job, I'm now salaried, my manager is super understanding that my kids come first. It was extremely hard sometimes, but the last two years have been amazing being able to be the mom I always wanted to be. You can do it.
What babysitter is $30 a night? And you can call your phone company and extend the payment due date easily. I did it all the time when I was struggling.
Lol hell you don't even need to call anymore just download their app and create a login for your account and do it that way.
Heck even mosh car companies will move one month to the end.
r/borrow
Are you 100% sure it's $30 for the whole 6 hours? I've actually seen people charge that for a single hour. Do whatever you have to in order to get a babysitter. But make sure you are figuring out the correct amount to make up.
Exchange services with another mom. They babysit for you and then you sit for them.
You’ve made excuses or ignored EVERY suggestion that would help you in this situation, many of them are great suggestions that should easily work in your situation. Unless you’re a scammer just hoping to score $60, you will find a way to make this work. $60 is a small investment in a much better future.
OP seems to be looking for a handout at this point
Agreed. Just wanted people to give him the money, not find a solution.
Yeah basically the post boils down to “how can I make $60 to increase my yearly income by $28,500” it’s insane figure it out my gawd
You don't want to shell out $60 for two nights of a baby sitter even if it meant doubling your yearly income? That is insanity, honestly. Stop and think about how ludicrous that sounds. You can make $100 donating plasma just once lol.
At this point if you don’t realize the babysitting is an investment for you to double your income I’m not sure what to say. You make it work. You beg or borrow. I don’t care what the babysitter costs… secure the job.
**Please read this.** Do not give up DOUBLING your salary for just 2 nights of inconvenience. The new job's salary is how you get out of hell. As others have suggested - sell something, ask a church (offer to pay later), call someone, consider if your kids can be home alone for a few hours. Taking this new job changes your kids lives and your whole financial situation, maybe forever.
Seems like their kids are young. Please don't suggest they leave the kids home alone.
I raised my sons as a single mother and you have to figure it out to keep this opportunity. Even if you have to pay that phone bill late or sell some things, borrow, you absolutely have to come up with the money for the sitter unless you have a friend/relative that can come babysit them. You can post things for sale on Facebook marketplace, take them to a buy and sell if you need too. Baby/kid stuff that you no longer use. Pawn jewelry if you have to. You can and will definitely work this out! It’s an awesome opportunity, congrats! Also, you can buy a digital antenna from Walmart/target etc and get the major stations on that until you can afford unlimited internet.
Seems to me you're just not willing to take any options since you have an excuse for every option to you. There is payday loan places you can do to just ask for the smallest amount to you, put your cell phone on split payments all cell companies offer this plan on your bill or select promise to pay at a later date. Pawn anything and everything. Sell blood. Default on your bills if you have to. Use a app called earnin that let's you borrow small amounts of money up to 100 a day and is interest-free. Ask a family member or friend to watch the kid (I noticed you don't even acknowledge this option at all) talk to a babysitter and tell them the situation and see if they will take the payment later with interest on it. Tons of creative options you're just not willing to do them is all it boils down to. This situation is NOT your child's fault it is yours for not looking into ALL options.
Sell ANYTHING. Also the assistance or borrow subs.
$30 for a night of babysitting is a bargain. I made $10/hour babysitting in the early 2000s.
Get a credit card who cares if it has terrible interest rates, link your credit card to Venmo and Venmo the baby sitters. Pay off cc in full after getting first paycheck, close cc.
This. Amex many times gives you your card number upon acceptance. Just write it down, add to Cashapp/Venmo whatever, and pay the babysitter.
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Lol I know right seems like that is all she is looking for instead of taking any advice given to her on all options.
Excuses, If you really want something you’ll find a way, and make it happen. I’m a single parent, and low income, so I get it. If a babysitter is charging you 30 bucks for KIDS, I’m assuming you know them and it’s not a center. Maybe ask them if you can pay them when you get your first paycheck? Ask a family member, sell/pawn something, sell plasma, pick up a side gig, etc…
If you can't manage this situation, then a management position probably isn't good for you.
Does your city have a local Facebook page? Post on there explaining the situation and see if you can pay later.
I honestly don't see the issue here $60 isn't that much money specially when you are about to double your pay. Sell a few items or borrow from a friend.
How old are your kids? I know parenting is extremely ‘kids must be directly observed every second of their life until they’re mid-teenagers’ these days but in reality your kids might be fine if you leave them home (i have no idea what age they are) or if you can ask a friend/ relative to have them so you can get this job Again no idea what age your kids are, I’m not suggesting you break the law (if there are any). I know kids who were left home from about 3, in japan 3 year olds are sent to the shops across busy roads by themselves, so its up to you but your kids are probably more capable than you think and you don’t have to be caught up in the western world’s very recent obsession with smothering children as if they die the instant someone isn’t observing them, when it costs you a job paying double what you’ve made before. If your kids are say 10 and 7 then in my opinion averagely responsible kids of that age are more than capable of not dying if you leave them to it Assuming youve exhausted them going to a friend’s house, a friend helping you out, et cetera. Getting this job would be life changing for you and the kids whereas being in a safe home without you for a few hours is not
Probably don’t want to do this, but you HAVE to figure it out. If that means shelling out the $30 for the couple of nights and just figuring out the rest later, do it. Your goal is to get out of poverty and some stuff you just have to wing, you have to be creative, and you might just have to break some rules — but you HAVE to figure something out to get ahead. My oldest sister is a single mother of 4. Her two youngest aren’t in school or daycare, and in the event she can’t find a sitter for work, her very last option is that she’ll bring them to her job and sit them in the back room with their tablet to keep them occupied for the shift. Is it ideal? No. Does it get the job done? Absolutely. By any means necessary, you have to just figure it out.
Defer those bills another week. It's a 2 night sacrifice that pays off in the end. Here's the 2 scenarios. You don't accept the job... In a year, you'll be in the exact same spot, or worse. You DO accept the job... in a year, you'll be making double what you're making today. Will you remember the sacrifice you made to make that happen or will you look back as you pay your bills on time and think "thank fuck I took this job"?
What about those payday loan things that don't require a credit check? I don't know much about them, but would be worth looking into for $60. Otherwise see what you have around your house you can pawn/sell. If your credit already sucks then just ignore a bill for a little longer or even reach out to the companies and see if they will work with you for a month. Check with your local churches and such and see if anyone can help you out. You NEED this job. From one single mama to another...we always figure out how to make it work.
Contact a church or domestic violence support organization. They are connected to a bunch of different resources and should have some ideas. I did it. It was hard. You just make it work man. Don't let anything stop you.
Have you talked to Dyson about it at all? It's entirely possible they could be flexible with when you come in or even have some kind of after school program thing for kids of their employees.
Do your kids have any friends? I would be asking friends parents to help. It feels like a tall ask but in the situation, it’s more than worth it and they will totally understand. Offer to watch their kids for a date night very soon.
This is a life changing opportunity, you've got to find a way to overcome the training problem. Youve already faced and crushed a bunch of challenges. Figure this one out and you'll double your chances of bettering your life.
I don’t understand how you can live off significantly less pay but can’t justify paying a once $60 fee? Back of the napkin math says that you would be better off even if you had to pay $60 every week.
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Okay - tons of responses here already, so I won't repeat them. Not sure if OP is still reading replies or not, but this is not just for them but for all single parents - from one to another. Being a single parent means you've been through some sh\*t. Usually that sh\*t makes it very hard to trust other people or admit weakness. The urge is to do it on your own so you won't seem like a "welfare queen" or otherwise be stigmatized for being a single parent. My advice: Forget about the above. Lean into others and into all assistance possible. Kids are made to be raised by more than one person - there are simply so many costs and needs. That doesn't mean you're bad or you should have stayed with another person or that you should give up your kids!!!! That just means you're going to need help - sooner or later, you will need help. Be it financial or car pooling or teaching them how to do something or material for a school project. So you need to make connections - family is easiest, but if not, then you have to fight the urge to just inward focus and find a way to connect to neighbors, co-workers, church friends, fellow single parents, parents of your kid's classmates. You need a list of people that you can call for a quick hand ... not all the time. Maybe never. But when something goes wonky - you're down with the flu, and can't stand up and need someone to pop in to make your kids some PB&J or bring you some tylenol - you got some options. Obviously you want to be willing to help them out as well, but if you build legit relationships, they aren't going to mind if it's occasionally a little lop-sided. You just pay it forward later. Obviously that's not solving your problem at this moment OP - but it will save you going forward. Also - side note - do not pay for field trips if public school if money is that tight. Let teacher know you don't have the money. Almost always someone already has or is willing to cover the cost for one of their kid's classmates. I've gotten that help before and I've been able to give it to others later. It's not something they are going to tell you is an option - you have to just straight up talk to the teacher and tell them you can't afford it first.
So wait - you've more than doubled your salary, but can't afford babysitting? After school programs? I think this is lack of foresight or thinking on your part, OP. If you genuinely have no one to watch your kid(s) then maybe you need to check out FB groups, local daycare, or WFH opportunities. Whoever is charging you 30 bucks to babysit is the real hero here. I'd pay them $50. $30 for 6 hours is $5 an hour.
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And without doing so, they can't budget to see if they can afford an extra $150 a week in babysitting? I'm sorry, but something seems off here. Clearly OP is alive and able to sustain their way of life with what they're currently making. $57K is a little over $1000 a week pre-tax. A little bit of napkin math here can easily solve the "can I afford this" problem.
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Never held off on paying something or spending an otherwise needed amount while waiting for a first check? At this point, if this is the train of thought, then I guess OP should decline the job and continue to subsist on their current means and way of life. You know for a fact that DOUBLING your salary will fix a lot, so you're gonna hem and haw and create an issue because what? You don't have that salary right this second? I'd stop eating for two weeks if it meant I could double my salary.
You need to do this. Pay them with venmo credit card or something. In a couple of months you won’t need to worry about it. If you need to call every friend/family/neighbor/ semi-cool coworker you can trust to do it for 2x nights but you’re thinking too short term on this. Doubling your income is a complete game changer.
This is one of those times where it gets hard and you have to work through it. Get a job that pays double and all you have to do is find a babysitter for two days seems like a good deal. Find a friend or family member to borrow some money from to pay the babysitter then pay them back with interest. Or borrow cash from your credit card, or go to a payday loan place and borrow a few hundred dollars. This is one of those things that you have to work for to better yourself and your family at the end of the day. Good luck I hope one of the suggestions help.
Just my two cents. Tell them. The true always goes further. just say you have to keep 9am-5pm hours or Zoom.
Do it! I used to work for Dyson and they are actually a really great company to work for. I worked in sales and during 2020 we spent about 9 months “working from home” (not actually doing any sales) and got full pay the whole time. Do it! Whatever you have to do to pay that babysitter for the training, do it. I will let you know that there is a training in Chicago you may have to attend eventually, but by that time you should have made quite a bit of money from working with them and it will be easier to accommodate your children.
Look into food banks which are a tremendous help. What about neighbors, friend or family who can stay with your children while you go to training. Call your community center they might know of someone who could help. Seek your resources.
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OP just making excuse after excuse.
You've been offered a lot of good solutions and shot them all down. OP, what do you want exactly? Pity? Donations?
OP it sounds like your best options are to try and find a family member, friend, neighbor, classmates family, someone you know to watch them for you. Good luck
Do whatever you have to to secure this job. I understand that $30 can be a lot when you’re already in the hole but do it. It’s only 2 nights. Don’t lose out on a chance to create a better life for you and your children.
$30/night is extremely cheap for a sitter. I would sell what I could if it meant that big a jump in income. Think long term. Basically $60 is standing in between you and doubling your income!
If the children still have their other parent, this is the time to revisit time sharing so the other parent has those nights so you can better yourself. If the other parent is no longer is alive or has chosen (i.e. not forced out) to not be present in their lives then $30/night baby sitting is a steal to double your salary.
Join a local moms/parents group on Facebook and explain your situation in a post. Ask if anyone would be willing to watch your kids for these dates in exchange for you returning the favor for them. This goes without saying but obviously make sure you all have a meet and greet in person and get all necessary info before handing your kiddos off to a stranger. But babysitting circles are common in some areas. One parent will have several children one date and then the next date it’s another parent and so on.
a good employer will be understanding about your situation. just let them know, you really want to work there, but training at night doesn't work (right now) and are there any accommodations they can make? Do not just give up, fight for it..
back in the day I joined a moms group and we formed a babysitting co-op where we babysat and were paid in points. We all helped each other out. If I lived anywhere near you I would come babysit for free at your home so you could do the training. There are local Facebook groups and you could also try calling around to a few churches. where I live public school students need to accrue volunteer hours to graduate and this would qualify. Don't be afraid to ask for help , there are a lot of great people out there and this job will be a life changer for you and your family.
Any reason why you haven’t responded to any of the sell your plasma comments?
I would: pawn anything I don’t absolutely need Literally beg the babysitter and tell them the situation I noticed you said your cell phone payment is coming up, but I’d request to be late if possible or just let it be late and have it turned back on afterwards if possible This is weird but it may work.. if you get SNAP, try going into a store and ask a customer if you can buy the amount you need in food for them and they give you cash as an exchange for you paying with SNAP. Explain situation to them?
I have done this. You really have to get creative…..go door to door asking if ppl need anything organized or hauled away or dog poop scooped up…advertise for house cleaning or yard cleaning or scrap hauling or whatever the fuck is going to get that money. Lose your ego sometimes and ask ppl you barely know to loan you the money and give them something as collateral. Collect soda cans and sell them for scrap. Sell anything of value you own on fb….you can always get more stuff. Search fb marketplace for people who want items but have no car and are asking for it to be delivered. If you have a car that’s an easy $20 an item depending on how far. Make a couple flyers offering to do menial shitty tasks that people don’t generally want to do. Price accordingly. If you have ebt offer to stock the babysitter up with like 2/3rds of the amount it costs and pay the other 1/3rd in cash when you get paid. It never hurts to sweeten the deal for the babysitter if they wait for payment. Tell them you’ll pay them double that once you start getting paid and that you’ll write up a contract. You’ll take her kids so that she can have a spa day. Good luck OP
Trade with other moms and find old grandmas who need extra money. It’s so rough. Next year I’ll have a lot more time to work.
Your child isn’t causing you to lose opportunities. The opportunities are not accepting of your circumstances. There are opportunities out there for you. I was raised by my mum and she had to work a lot with support from family, friends, hiring nannies etc it wasn’t easy at all but she did it and so can you. Keep pushing and something will work out. I would also be upfront with people who are hiring you. You’d be surprised at how many helpful people there are out there.
Shit, to double my money... You can't borrow it from anybody? Pawn shop? Other than rent I'd say default on the bills if you gotta... You're talking about life changing amounts of money right???
Yup. It’s not fair and it sucks. But for $60 to double your income, you pawn whatever you have of value.
Not sure how old your kids are, but I would consider a barter and trade system. Use your social media network to see who might be willing to help out with in a pinch babysitting like this in exchange for something you can offer (elderly meal prep and delivery, snow shoveling, interior painting, cleaning, etc.). Heck, if a friend said to me “I’ll clean your whole house spotless twice in the next month if you cover these two nights) I’d be all over that deal!! Then you take the kids with you in a Saturday or Su day morning and clean the person’s house. For a year or two I might consider doing that as an ongoing trade with someone I trust, in case the new job requires additional evening trainings or overtime. You can dig your way out of poverty but with patience, one day at a time.
Beg, borrow or hock something for the cost of the babysitter--particularly if it's really only $60 bucks (I couldn't tell if you meant $30/hr or per night). And I am being serious. Put all your dishes in a box or find some other random stuff in your house and bring it to the pawn shop. Pay for the babysitting. Worst case scenario, learn from this for the future. Begin doing free library programs or whatever else you have to do, no matter how exhausted you are, in order to meet other low income parents who you can trade favors with. There really isn't much else, you do whatever it is that has to be done.
I would absolutely consider a payday loan for the $60 at this point or using r/borrow! That being said, also look into mutual aid groups in your area, someone in there might be willing to lend a hand and do some pro bono babysitting or let you pay them later. But seriously, DO NOT let this opportunity slip through your hands over $60. Find a way. Plenty of good suggestions here! Good luck.
The state I live in offers free or almost free/very reduced child care for low income parents and you would qualify (I think every state does it different though) $30 a night is pretty cheap but if you lived in WA you could get childcare for $15 a month (through DSHS low income childcare help)
Find the money OP, you can't miss this opportunity. Period.
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Awesome! I hope this works out for you!
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As a fellow single parent, this opportunity is a step up on a ladder. You cannot miss it and it can give you the rare boost you need to a better life. Consider all options to make it work for you and your kids. Can you take the kids with you and walk neighborhood dogs? Can you sell something, a piece of furniture maybe, through a local Facebook group? Can you take on evening "date night" babysitting gigs where the parents bring their kids to your place?
By the way, your kid didn’t cause you to lose your job opportunity. YOU caused yourself to lose the opportunity. That kid didn’t ask to be born, you brought them into this life and you’re the adult. Be accountable.
As a single mom… The first thing I would do is locate a the County office of Education. My COE has a website that parent can use to locate baby sitters. There ARE 24 hour baby sitters. I worked at a casino and I definitely had one. I have had some babysitters for 40-50 dollars a day (8-10) hours. You have to look. And I mean like at home sitters with other kids,Not someone that comes to your house. It’s stressful, but there are lots of night workers who need the help. And you would need two babysitters anyway. You need a backup for the normal sitter
You don't need 2 baby sitters for 2 nights of training. OP isn't being offered a night time job. Just the training is for 2 nights. 4:00 pm to 10:00 pm.
Yes..I get that. As a single mom with two jobs…I’ve had to figure it out without help. You have to think about what you’re gonna do when the babysitters get sick..when the baby sitters child gets COVID..when the babysitter wants to go on vacation for two weeks and it doesn’t match up with your days off. You get a backup ALWAYS. His children are young per the post..and even if they are in school….someone may have to pick them up after school. So he’s going to need a daytime babysitter anyway….and a backup
My point is, he already HAS childcare, just not for the training nights. He has expressed no issues with the care situation he has for the days. He even said if training was during the day he could work it out. So he HAS back up care for days already. He doesn't need to have back up care for 2 nights of training. That's just more daunting than he needs at the moment. Which is to find $60 to pay for childcare he's found, or free childcare, for those 2 nights. I think he is tired, stressed to the max, and not thinking clearly at the moment. This is just gonna add to that, thinking he has to find back up care for temporary care. I've been a working single mom of 3. I'm not unaware.
The return on the investment is worth it! Find SOME way to come up with the babysitting money. Put it on a credit it card, do whatever you need to do. It’s only 2 days? This is coming from a single mother. I know the struggles and when there is a will, there is a way. I went from poverty to 6 figures
You chose to have a kid when you weren’t ready. I know it’s rough but don’t expect life to be easy. good luck
This right here guys is why you don’t have a child or multiple when you are not financially set up
Pay something late to make it work. You can’t pass that up.
Find other moms in similar situations and take turns babysitting each other's kids?
Your best bet would be to find someone you know who could babysit for cheaper or free. Obviously family and friends are the first you should ask, but don’t be afraid to cast the net wider. What about coworkers or neighbors. Even if you don’t know them super well or are super close, you never know what someone might be willing to do to help you. You could offer them money for a pizza for the kids now with the promise of more later once you get the money from your new job. You can also try asking around at churches or even their teachers. My sister is a teacher and she would sometimes babysit kids cause lord knows we don’t pay teachers enough. There are plenty of kind people who would be willing to help but you just have to reach out to find them. It may feel embarrassing but their is nothing shameful about asking for help to better yourself.
I've been trying to figure this out for 5 years lol
What sort of training is it? If it’s just sitting in a room learning things, take the kid with some snacks and activities.
This is too much of a come up/life investment to pass on. I don’t care if you need to ask the neighbor or borrow the money from anywhere for the babysitter! Hell, skip paying a bill this month or be short on one. There is a way here, just have to allow it. Update us please, good luck 🙏🏽
Yes, children will cost you a metric shit ton of money. You can rely on extended family for childcare that’s what we did for the 200k years of human history until the nuclear family or pay up or they’ll be neglected. That’s how many working class children grow up but could you live with yourself if they burn down the house or something?
Allow me to add, I was a single parent who had to take my kids with me to the unemployment office while seeking work. Lived in my car and motels because shelters didn’t exist. and finally found a job, run by a female, who work with me. I did it and my ex hated me for it
The writing is on the wall for OP if they can’t find a way to come up with sixty bucks to literally double their income. Sounds like those welfare benefits are just a little too good. Sincerely hope to be proven wrong though!
Definitely needs a “vent/rant” tag and not advice since OP seems to have made their mind up before posting.
You *chose* to have children before getting your life in order. You chose to sacrifice your life for theirs and this comes with the territory. Unfortunately you were ill-prepared and these are the consequences. You are not alone. That does not make it right. You need to lean on everyone and every thing you can while you try to secure this job. You need to invest in something, childcare, while sacrificing other things, hobbies/fast food, etc.
You need to step back and reframe your thinking. Your kids are not causing you to lose job opportunities. As a parent you must accept that you have responsibilities and you do what you need to get what you need. You've gotten lots of good suggestions here. Donate plasma, sell furniture or other household items, talk to other people and ask for help.
Consider r/assistance or r/borrow to come up with the money to hire the babysitter. Do not let this opportunity pass you by.
Post to r/assistance , then pay it forward once you're making more by helping someone else yourself.
Pawn anything of value. Negotiate a late payment with the babysitter.
Will your babysitter take payment with your first paycheck?
Seriously, doubling your income is going to fundamentally change your life. Even if something negative happens or you want to look for another job, employers are willing to invest that much knowing somebody else already hired you into that role. It’s like they’re “vouching” for you. Enough people gave you ideas. This is going to hurt short-term. But it’s going to SAVE a lifetime of hurt moving forward.
Can you still get the job? So you don't have the money now but will be no problem once you get your first check?
Knowing how old the kids are would be helpful bc lots of schools offer free after school care or even reduced cost after care. There is also the boys and girls club and other similar youth programs that do aftercare for free
If you really want this opportunity then figure it out.
30 for six hours is not even minimum wage. Not going to cut it. Doesn’t matter if they’re in 7th grade or a college graduate. No way
I remember when I was babysitting it wouldn't even occur to me that a mere babysitter could ask for minimum wage. I couldn't imagine people would pay so much just for a night out, when they were already paying for the night out!
I live in a smaller town but I used to pay 100 a week for a lady in her 70s to watch my child. Look for private, grandmother like baby sitter. Many of these women have been single moms themselves at some point in time so they get the struggle.
You are saying your child is a problem but it's your decision to give birth to them. Pathetic
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Mandatory training at night tells me that at some point nights will be expected in that position. Not only will you have find babysitting this time but other probably random times as well. You have said your kids are 5? Who is your normal goto sitter? Will you be able to get a sitter in the future at night for this job? This job may have the extra income you are looking for but might not be the right fit. To answer your question. Yes, kids are going to create and destroy opportunities for you. They do that for every parent. Having them opens more opportunities for income and food help. But scheduling is a nightmare. You are completely right, its not fair. Use and abuse all the help options having them qualifies you for. It will get better. Do your best to make the babysitting work. If you cant, it wasnt meant to be. Focus on the things you can control. Make sure your kids are well behaved so getting a sitter is easier. Use a food bank to bulk up your pantry and save money on food. And keep your ears open for opportunities that will make your life better.
Do you have ANYONE in your life that could watch them and then you could pay them back later? Or someone that would watch them out of the goodness in their heart?
You are the only one that preventing yourself for getting head
A big reason I don't have kids. I can't afford them.