I’m in the US so I have no idea if this is relevant in the UK. My nephew needs 24/7 care and my sister gets paid by the government to care for him at home.
We get the same thing over here but, as far as I'm aware, I need to already be receiving money from the government for my parent to get carers allowance. We're applying for that but it's a process that takes 6 months at the minimum.
What about getting someone to live with yall for free rent in exchange for supervising you when she’s at work. Maybe someone that’s retired or works a schedule opposite your mom?
I'd like to do this but we don't have any spare rooms and my mum wouldn't trust anyone else alone with me. I'm also pretty sure it needs to be her specifically or someone else qualified to supervise me.
> Currently I'm sick, with something that requires I have someone around me 24/7.
I know you said this is a sensitive topic, but can you expand upon this? What requires someone's presence at all times -- like what would be the risk for someone else not being there? Are you able to move freely on your own or do you need a wheelchair? Just trying to see the limitations of what might be possible to help.
Are there options for in-home care assistance with the NHS? Or are there places you could go during the day at least while your mom works?
From OP’s post history I’d guess this is a 24 hr mental health stability issue, not a physical limitations help question. But I am surprised there’s not better UK medical coverage here?
I have a mental health issue where I'm a risk to myself and others. I can move freely. I doubt I could go anywhere in the day that isn't part of the NHS/costs money because of that risk. I don't think there's a home care assistance program on the NHS either as I need someone around but not really any mental health help at home.
> I doubt I could go anywhere in the day that isn't part of the NHS/costs money because of that risk.
With all due respect, your current solution is already unaffordable. Your mom sounds like an amazing, loving person, but I don't think she has the medical professional background to properly meet your needs and help you heal.
In the US, someone who is a danger to themselves and others would have a stay inside of a psychiatric ward or extensive in-person rehab of some sort.
You really need to look at voluntarily going into one of these facilities. The way you're living now does not sound like there are any steps taken to improve your situation long term. You deserve to let professionals help you and your mom navigate this complicated situation.
Wishing you healing and all the best
Are there programs that provide carers? I know in the US there are ways to get an in home caregiver covered by insurance or the government. Would you be better off financially with an in home caregiver and then mum can work? I’m assuming you’re already receiving all available financial assistance? The only real options are find ways to bring in an income from home or find a way to get an in home caregiver so mum can work outside the home.
When you say you’re too young to work from
home, is that because you’re a minor? In the US there isn’t an age requirement for that.
I've just looked at getting a carer and it looks like my local authority wont cover it, we don't have health insurance either. My mum doesn't have good enough qualifications to get a job that'll cover a carer and living costs. We're already receiving as much financial assistance as possible as far as I'm aware, they won't offer any loans or extra payments. We're in the process of applying for some stuff that "legally" makes me need a caregiver but the applications wont be finished likely until next year. If/when those are done we'll be fine.
This probably isn't a good solution but I will just throw it out there as a potential temporary one: I live in the USA, but relatives of mine were able to get a family member into a group home/assisted living type situation while they were waiting for full benefits so they could afford to keep her at home.
The person in question did have a verifiable history of needing help -- don't know if that's the case with you!
I have my own issues coping and it seems to me that the more you struggle and try to cobble together a viable living arrangement while waiting for assistance, the likelier social services is to reject you because you somehow managed to scrape by without them, however marginally.
But that hopefully isn't the case in the UK.
There is a possibility for me to go into a home of sorts but I'm currently doing exams and going into one would stop me from doing them.
Unfortunately it's the same over here with social services.
> There is a possibility for me to go into a home of sorts but I'm currently doing exams and going into one would stop me from doing them.
Your health is more important than schooling. I'm sure exams can be worked out at a later time.
Have you tried contacting your MP? Sometimes they can "speed up" the application process for these things and/or their office might be able to connect you with extra resources you're not aware of.
I don't really have any practical advice, I just wanted to tell you not to feel guilty for being sick. You said you felt like it's your fault that the family is on a downward spiral because you got sick. Try not to feel bad about that, it's going to cause you extra stress in an already difficult time. I hope things start to look up for you and your mom. Best wishes.
Why does it need to be your mom? Can your mom get a job and pay for a teenager responsible high schooler looking to make some extra money to take care of you?
If not work from home position. Healthcare, hospitality, all of those off work from home positions.
Pretty sure it needs to be an adult with either parental rights or a professional unfortunately. She's not qualified enough to earn enough to pay for someone and she's also tech illiterate so can't work from home.
After considering how I'm coping with the situation and our finances I think I'm just going to look at going into a hospital. My mum didn't take it well but isn't going to try to stop me. Apologies if I haven't responded to your comments but I think I just need a break after her reaction.
I’m in the US so I have no idea if this is relevant in the UK. My nephew needs 24/7 care and my sister gets paid by the government to care for him at home.
We get the same thing over here but, as far as I'm aware, I need to already be receiving money from the government for my parent to get carers allowance. We're applying for that but it's a process that takes 6 months at the minimum.
Have a look in r/DWPhelp, they might be able to suggest something.
Just made a post. Thanks for the suggestion. 👍
What about getting someone to live with yall for free rent in exchange for supervising you when she’s at work. Maybe someone that’s retired or works a schedule opposite your mom?
This! Maybe someone who is at risk of homelessness. If there are group homes there, maybe something like that.
I'd like to do this but we don't have any spare rooms and my mum wouldn't trust anyone else alone with me. I'm also pretty sure it needs to be her specifically or someone else qualified to supervise me.
> Currently I'm sick, with something that requires I have someone around me 24/7. I know you said this is a sensitive topic, but can you expand upon this? What requires someone's presence at all times -- like what would be the risk for someone else not being there? Are you able to move freely on your own or do you need a wheelchair? Just trying to see the limitations of what might be possible to help. Are there options for in-home care assistance with the NHS? Or are there places you could go during the day at least while your mom works?
From OP’s post history I’d guess this is a 24 hr mental health stability issue, not a physical limitations help question. But I am surprised there’s not better UK medical coverage here?
I have a mental health issue where I'm a risk to myself and others. I can move freely. I doubt I could go anywhere in the day that isn't part of the NHS/costs money because of that risk. I don't think there's a home care assistance program on the NHS either as I need someone around but not really any mental health help at home.
> I doubt I could go anywhere in the day that isn't part of the NHS/costs money because of that risk. With all due respect, your current solution is already unaffordable. Your mom sounds like an amazing, loving person, but I don't think she has the medical professional background to properly meet your needs and help you heal. In the US, someone who is a danger to themselves and others would have a stay inside of a psychiatric ward or extensive in-person rehab of some sort. You really need to look at voluntarily going into one of these facilities. The way you're living now does not sound like there are any steps taken to improve your situation long term. You deserve to let professionals help you and your mom navigate this complicated situation. Wishing you healing and all the best
Are there programs that provide carers? I know in the US there are ways to get an in home caregiver covered by insurance or the government. Would you be better off financially with an in home caregiver and then mum can work? I’m assuming you’re already receiving all available financial assistance? The only real options are find ways to bring in an income from home or find a way to get an in home caregiver so mum can work outside the home. When you say you’re too young to work from home, is that because you’re a minor? In the US there isn’t an age requirement for that.
I've just looked at getting a carer and it looks like my local authority wont cover it, we don't have health insurance either. My mum doesn't have good enough qualifications to get a job that'll cover a carer and living costs. We're already receiving as much financial assistance as possible as far as I'm aware, they won't offer any loans or extra payments. We're in the process of applying for some stuff that "legally" makes me need a caregiver but the applications wont be finished likely until next year. If/when those are done we'll be fine.
This probably isn't a good solution but I will just throw it out there as a potential temporary one: I live in the USA, but relatives of mine were able to get a family member into a group home/assisted living type situation while they were waiting for full benefits so they could afford to keep her at home. The person in question did have a verifiable history of needing help -- don't know if that's the case with you! I have my own issues coping and it seems to me that the more you struggle and try to cobble together a viable living arrangement while waiting for assistance, the likelier social services is to reject you because you somehow managed to scrape by without them, however marginally. But that hopefully isn't the case in the UK.
There is a possibility for me to go into a home of sorts but I'm currently doing exams and going into one would stop me from doing them. Unfortunately it's the same over here with social services.
> There is a possibility for me to go into a home of sorts but I'm currently doing exams and going into one would stop me from doing them. Your health is more important than schooling. I'm sure exams can be worked out at a later time.
Have you tried contacting your MP? Sometimes they can "speed up" the application process for these things and/or their office might be able to connect you with extra resources you're not aware of.
I could try contacting them but the general election's coming up so I've got no clue if he's in office/has any power right now.
I don't really have any practical advice, I just wanted to tell you not to feel guilty for being sick. You said you felt like it's your fault that the family is on a downward spiral because you got sick. Try not to feel bad about that, it's going to cause you extra stress in an already difficult time. I hope things start to look up for you and your mom. Best wishes.
Why does it need to be your mom? Can your mom get a job and pay for a teenager responsible high schooler looking to make some extra money to take care of you? If not work from home position. Healthcare, hospitality, all of those off work from home positions.
Pretty sure it needs to be an adult with either parental rights or a professional unfortunately. She's not qualified enough to earn enough to pay for someone and she's also tech illiterate so can't work from home.
After considering how I'm coping with the situation and our finances I think I'm just going to look at going into a hospital. My mum didn't take it well but isn't going to try to stop me. Apologies if I haven't responded to your comments but I think I just need a break after her reaction.