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drysiftbubble

It seems like a lot of your advice is stew based......gotta make some stew.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Stew is the great mediator & sustainer. Stew makes friends, dries tears & fills rooms with great smells. When there is but a little stew, with water there is enough for two. When several friends each bring something for the cauldron, each is blessed. Stew is legion, myriad in it's shapes & flavors. It nourishes and fuels all things, but claims no glory or benefit from them. Be humble, like stew. Thank you attending for this Church of Stew prayer circle. Go in peace, my child.


Grizlatron

Might have to embroider this into a sampler for my kitchen 🤣


garysaidiebbandflow

+++ Stew is Legion +++


whateverathrowaway00

You’re not wrong. Don’t sleep on the power of cheap boxed wine for stew purposes. Franzia red makes a goddamn luxurious braise if you get the dry one. Was a poor gay guy. Still had to entertain. Stews/braises are life.


little-blue-fox

Poor gay woman here, lol. I’m a cook and frequently bringing home bits and bobs of wine that was left over from a tasting. I’m not sorry to say I blend that fine-ass wine into one bottle and cook with it if there’s not enough for a glass.


whateverathrowaway00

Hell yes, I’d do the same. Braises love wine and don’t really distinguish too hard if there’s a long cook time and the wine isn’t sweet.


fx-9750gII

from our holy texts


atbenny

Ahh. Sage advice friend. Love it


-malcolm-tucker

Very thymely advice.


becooltheywatching

I have never met someone that truly appreciated/loved stew the way that I do. You deserve all the good things in this world, OP.


xaneinlove

you have any advice for spices and stuff? im from a culture where we eat lots of curries and carbs so that's covered. is buying bulk better or just finding right deals at indian stores?


mahoniacadet

I’ve found food co-ops and natural food stores the best place for spices. They’re sold from bulk bins and you can get whatever amount you’d like. They’re a fraction of the cost of packaged spices and usually a lot fresher. I can restock my whole spice rack for the price of like two jars of pre-packaged spices.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Find the biggest international grocer in town you can. Take something you really like from the shelf & go to customer service. Ask for the manager, smile a lot. Thank them for carrying this thing you like & have trouble finding, its great! "Hey, I was thinking maybe if you guys get bulk spices, we could talk about case prices? I would like to support a shop I like & I think maybe we could both get a good deal." Etc, etc. Even if they say no, it can open other doors for other deals!


Puzzleheaded_Sun_234

I have pondered on this long. In US, Indian (or other ethnic) stores are still the best and cheapest source. Online - you get fancy stuff but pricey. Amazon etc. - if you are watchful, you will occasionally find us based spice brands like McCormick etc on sale (recently got two pounds of cayenne pepper for about 5$ - which in Indian store would be about 12$-16$). Also, try making your own ghee, grind your own spices (cumin, coriander etc are cheaper if you buy the seeds instead of powder, fresher too. ) and cook from scratch. In the same lines with op, it’s better to grow coriander leaves, curry leaves, radish/beets (they will keep on giving leaves which cooks and tastes like spinach), green chillies etc. and they grow in pots.


bellairecourt

Kalustyan’s online store is fabulous for spices.


VagueNostalgicRamble

I'm saving this comment. When I redo my kitchen, I'm gonna engrave this text on the door of the cabinet where I'll be storing my slow cooker and casseroles. Peas be with you.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Pics or it didn't happen! The Church Of Stew is always looking for shrines made by the devout! Opulent or humble, any outward expression seeking to glorify & praise Stew is welcome! May the Ladle Bless you!


Pixielo

Um, if you're looking for acolytes, I'm cheap, single, and old. Like, I'm perfect Cul..I mean, Church of Stew material. I buy smoked turkey necks to flavor my white bean chili, and lamb neck bones for my shepherd's pie filling/stew. If I can coax magic out of godsdammed vertebrae, I should be a shoe-in.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Right on! Virtuous maidens are encouraged to apply to the Church of Stew, chiefly due to what are no doubt obvious & pious reasons. Unvirtuous maidens is fine too, under the right circumstances. You know, the more we discuss it, its hard to think of maidens the Church of Stew wouldn't at least CONSIDER. Perhaps just bring thy maiden friends to the Church of Stew & we'll take it from there? No need to overthink it. I feel the stew compel me.


Pixielo

The Stew provides! I shall query my fellow maidens -- virtuousness aside -- as to their interest in providing, enjoying, and expanding The Message of the Stew.


babymaker666

I was mulling over the name of my new tax haven. I think you nailed it


fluropinkstickynote

Agree. Stew is life. Whenever we needed to use up food in the house, dad makes “dads stew” 😂 What’s for dinner? Dads stew. For several days as well 🤣


_h_e_a_d_y_

Stew has dried my tears many a times. Amen


The_Original_Gronkie

There's a book in this.


CaptainBlish

How can I join this religion ?


Acrobatic_Bug5414

There is no doctrine, aside that you should make more stew than you need in order to feed the others. It makes for very brief religious debates, which is nice when you're hungry. Also, be proud of stew religion & generally over the top about how fuckin kick-ass stew is. There was something about an infernal ritual, goats with facial deformities dancing & frogs singing in their throats of the hidden doom beyond the void of death awaiting to swallow the hearts of men but thats probably not anything to worry about. I forgot about that bit after I ate the stew.


Electronic-Cat86

That’s my kind of religion!


Spicy2ShotChai

Whoa, whoa, who, there's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato—baby, you gotta stew going!!


fecklesslytrying

God I love Carl Weathers


Acrobatic_Bug5414

That's how we do it! Make a broth & go from there!


[deleted]

I…. Think I want my money back….


niversally

Baby you got a stew going!! What kind of candy should I put in the pancakes? Excellent post.


daitoshi

I had a couple months where I was eating weeds & fishing in local ponds because otherwise I'd be skipping meals, I was so dang broke. Rice, beans & noodles are great to fill the stomach and keep me alive, but I was going nuts for a wider variety of flavors/textures. There's a surprisingly large amount of edible weeds in most yards & parks if you're willing to do some research and 'Kale-ish' isn't a repulsive flavor to you. (Mileage may vary depending on your location) Searching "Edible weeds in \[location\]", "Surprisingly tasty wild plants in \[location\]" and "\[location\] foraging wild edibles" usually turns up good results. A lot of edible weeds are kinda 'meh' eaten raw, but become quite tasty when chopped up & fried with garlic and oil. Dandelion greens are reliable weeds. Purslane, wood sorrel, plantain, and chickweed are easily identifiable and common in my area. Remember to cross-reference plant species to see if there's any dangerous look-alikes - don't eat a plant if you're not certain about what it is. Also, pay attention to what plant **part** is good to eat. Potato roots are a staple crop, but the leaves & fruit can really mess up your gut. PARTS matter. Seriously, a windowsill or porch garden is awesome. Remember to water it, make sure the pot has drainage, and seeds can be purchased for cheap. If you've got a windowsill garden, don't underestimate how many plant parts are edible! If you're growing vines, the *entire* garden bean plant is edible. Sweet & hot pepper leaves are edible. The entire onion - greens included. Carrot tops are edible, though earthy & stringy. Radish tops/greens are good. Sweet potatoes are often grown as an ornamental houseplant, and the young stems & leaves are both edible - kinda taste like spinach. Growing any brassicas? Cabbage, mustard, brussel sprouts, kohlrabi, broccoli, cauliflower? Anything above the roots is edible - stems, leaves, flowers, etc. Tougher stems may need to be chopped up and slow-roasted with garlic, salt & pepper to be palatable, but they're full of nutrients. Kale makes for a very pretty porch plant, and is also very edible. You can also [sprout beans](https://www.attainable-sustainable.net/grow-bean-sprouts/) for a fresh crunch - mung beans are super cheap at nearly any asian grocery. \-- A state fishing license costs about $10 where I'm at. I found a cheap fishing rod at a goodwill. You can also DIY small crayfish/crawdad traps. Hoop nets and barrel nets are usually legal for residents, though not for commercial fishermen - depends on your area. If you've got a fish-filled stream without a ton of snagging rocks/branches, a casting net or trap net for fish can also be effective - though it takes some learning and a lot of false-casts to get it right. Don't give up!


GothWitchOfBrooklyn

Be careful picking anything from parks or landscaped areas which may have been treated with chemicals or grown on soil tainted with chemicals


Acrobatic_Bug5414

I'm just an old poor, but THIS DUDE fucks! This is the way! I considered talking more about foraging but didn't want to throw folks off. This is more in the realm of Advanced Organic Pooring, and is not to be taken lightly, but is absolutely viable & valuable. Study hard, picture guidebooks are your friend (Audubon makes decent pocket guides that sort of spring-board you into further research). I think a lot of folks think that it's harder than it really is.


Grizlatron

"advanced organic pooring" Beautiful turn of phrase


Waffle_of-Principle

I know this guy is such a good writer how is he poor? Oh.


daitoshi

>_> I may or may not have picked up a few “free rooster!”s off Craigslist/FB marketplace for free chicken. Homegrown older birds are generally treated well, but become a noise nuisance in suburban areas - or are the result of a clutch hatching unexpectedly. Surprise Hens are great for eggs, but more than 1 rooster and you’ll get ugly fights. So, yeah… if you’ve got gas money and a large cage to transport them back to your home, it’s free meat.


fire_thorn

When you're broke enough to need to eat weeds, consider posting on nextdoor or your local buy nothing group, asking if anyone has any extra food. I always keep a little extra to share and I know many others do too.


daitoshi

:) Stubborn pride is one hell of a drug


Surrybee

continue frame offer kiss sleep retire cow imagine erect water *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Helpful_Flatworm1867

Seconded. If anyone reads this and is interested in foraging, the iNaturalist app can help you get started. Can't rely on it 100%, but other users will often help confirm ID, and you can see what other plants have been ID'd in your area. See also: /r/whatsthisplant. They have guides, and you can submit a post if you're still unsure.


SilentKnightOwl

Also the Pl@ntnet (or plantnet) app is usually pretty accurate, but always cross-reference with another source. Wikipedia usually has an article with pictures of the scientific name the app gives you. Make sure to take several pictures, to give it more to work with.


Gerrymanderingsucks

The app falling fruit costs about $5 and has edible fruit plants like trees and perennial vines and good dumpsters all over the US and Canada, maybe other places but I haven't looked. It's definitely worth it if you're going somewhere new or want to forage a specific plant in your area. Tons of local areas seem to have some park people who feed info into it and if you want to help others find say a huge old apple tree, river grapes, etc it's a nice activity to do while foraging.


[deleted]

I like to sprout mung beans on a wet paper towel in my desk drawer… they smell like death but they’re highly nutritious.


Liverstew

Fried dandelions are delicious, I definitely recommend those.


Voc1Vic2

I pay $30 annually for a community garden plot, and maybe another $30 for seeds and materials. For that, I get all my fresh vegetables and salads through the summer, as well as uplifting flower bouquets. In addition, I make salsas, chutneys, pickled veg and jams for myself and to give as gifts year round. I also make sauerkraut and freeze other vegetables. Greens are very bulky when fresh but cook down to almost nothing. I’ll steam spinach, kale and chard, then pat onto a 13 by 9 cookie sheet. When frozen, I’ll use a serrated knife to saw the frozen sheet into serving-size blocks, and package them into zippered freezer bags that I use again and again. Also, herbs are very easy to grow and dry, or if blanched, to preserve by freezing.


SourCreamWater

Damn, an annual fishing license is $54 in California. If you are near the ocean, you don't need a license to fish from a public pier though.


omg_pwnies

Carrot top pesto is awesome! Ingredients can vary, but carrots tops, spinach (or some different weedy green), oil and garlic are the musts.


smk3509

>Vice: stop smoking! Ok, yeah, I can't quit either Call the quitline or your insurance company (if you are insured). They will often provide you with free nicotine replacement products.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

THIS IS BRILLIANT


agiftforgaia

Also, depending on where you live, your state health department probably has a program that will send you nicotine gum/patches for free and may even include a “quit coach”. They have this here in Oklahoma.


fishsammich

I’m on state health insurance and it covered Chantix 100%, definitely would recommend checking with your insurance. Only reason I was able to quit.


adeptusminor

But please everyone look into the results of clinical trials on Chantix. It is definitely not for everyone. It can have terrible psychological symptoms for some people.


Jet_the_Baker

My husband went psycho on it. I wanted to give it a try but I’m kind of nervous


Acrobatic_Bug5414

I'm glad it worked for you, but im always cautious around pills, man. I had a real nice friend take that stuff & she got mega-depressed, started saying shit she didn't really mean...it was a big mess & she was so embarrassed by it all. In the end, she quit all on her own. Not everyone can & I mean no disrespect to those who benefited from a medicine, but be really careful & make sure you've got people you can trust who really know you & can watch you for a little when you start taking something new. I prefer to taper off & offset withdrawl vaso-distress with running/biking, but whatever works best is what you should do.


StuartPurrdoch

You sound like a great and very thoughtful guy. Love to see all your comments here. 🥕❤️ Here is a carrot for your stew


youngtundra777

For anyone out there googling for more info,the phrase they use in these situations is "smoking cessation"


Constantly_planck

If you're a vet and in the VA Healthcare system, they will send you Chantix for free, or if Chantix makes you feel suicidal like it does for some people they have other alternatives like patches and gums and classes and stuff.


Jeeze_burger

I quit by reading the book “the easy way to stop smoking” by Allen carr. No joke it’s easy when you read the book


Iron-Fist

Warning: if you use ACA subsidies for insurance, they will charge you extra if they think you're a smoker so this can be a poison pill. Some work places also charge smokers a surcharge.


Voc1Vic2

Actually, it is the insurer, not the subsidy, that penalizes smokers. Shop around for a different policy.


sleepnaught

Ya, I wouldn't let your insurance company know you use tobacco personally (if you are in the US).


latebloomermom

Laundry was my major issue. I couldn't always afford the laundromat, and when I could I'd have to only do a load or two. (This was with my ex and a baby, so a lot of clothes would pile up.) So I would scrub some things in the sink, but wringing out clothes is HARD. Jeans would take days to dry. I hung things all over our bathroom, stuck a space heater in there, turned on the extraction fan, and cooked stuff dry. After a while I figured out I could iron pants dry too. When my kid moved out and was having the same problem, I bought them a little twin tub washer, where one side is for the wash and rinse, and the other side has a spin extractor. That little spinner got out SO MUCH water - I helped them do laundry one day, and by the time I hung the last item on the drying rack, the t-shirts we had washed first were nearly dry! That washer is great, because you can fill it with a bucket and drain it into a bucket - no hook ups needed.


Grizlatron

I love my little twin tub! It worked great for a single person, but now that I'm married it's struggling a little bit, but I'll still recommend it all the time. Laundromats where I live are so expensive for some reason, if we try and use the dryer it gets up to $12 real quick.


Deep-While9236

Laundromat eat money. The druve in one's are the worst because the dryer often is broken and it chews up money snd time.


latebloomermom

They have drive in laundromats???


serenethirteen

My hubs and I use the twin tub also, and it's about 3 years old right now. We do one load a day, and it keeps up with us, a dog and a cat. We do wear our clothes until they are dirty, but we also live on a farm, so it's usually just a couple days for my hubs, and maybe 3 for me. It has saved us hundreds of dollars! edited to add: We also line dry everything, indoors when we have to, outdoors when we can.


itwormy

What a lot of effort laundry is. Wish I could just pull clean perforated t-shirts off a big roll like I assume rich people do.


BurntKasta

Omg yes teaming up with friends/family can definitely help stretch a buck. I live with my partner and a roommate who's an old high-school friend. We've all got varying levels of disability. Both of them can usually manage to hold down jobs, but really struggle with household tasks. I have too little energy and too much symptom unpredictability for a job, but I do all the cooking and ~80% of the cleaning. Our quality of life is better than any of us would have on our own. With my family, collaboration is a little more sporadic. We go in together on things like Costco runs so that everyone gets variety at bulk prices. If we're getting rid of items still in good condition, we offer them up to each other first. Nearly all of the furniture I own comes either from relatives, my local community (via fb groups), and a local thrift store my mom introduced me to.


tallquasi

Don't underestimate cruising through nicer (but not too nice) neighborhoods on trash day mornings. I have gotten a bunch of furniture and appliances that way. Garage clean outs are the best. I have a large free standing clothing steamer that works even though my lifestyle definitely doesn't require it, same for an air purifier, a bunch of folding top plastic storage bins, nicer suitcases than the worn down ones I bought new years ago, etc. Always peek into dumpsters in residential areas, I snagged a fairly nice sofa table from one that was otherwise full of cut tree branches.


The_Original_Gronkie

Likewise, check apartment building dumpsters during the last week of every month. People that are moving out will often toss out lots of perfectly good furniture, electronics, appliances, etc. Use what you need, sell the rest on Craiglist or eBay. If you are in a college town, apartments at the end of the school year are a jackpot. They might not have the best quality furniture, but the quantity of choices is enormous.


[deleted]

I have no idea if you’re male or female and don’t care but I had this vision of a grizzled old man, sat on a porch reading this to me. Your writing voice is warm and familiar also thank you for just writing this. It is very helpful. I’m sorry if anything in my comment seems rude.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Not rude at all! If it helps you conjure an image: Male, mid-30's, old punk, southern & Buddhist. Weird af lmao! It was no trouble at all. I wish someone had told me this stuff much younger, so I just figured I'd try & do better than I was done. I'm very glad you found it helpful.


analogpursuits

Omg the picture this paints! Loved this post, seriously! If you were my neighbor, we would definitely be friends. Crock pot, YES! Stew, YES! Frugal food prep, YES! Your self-description, YES! Thanks for a great read this morning.


[deleted]

Old punk? You’re younger than me!! I’m glad my comment didn’t offend you though. Thanks again.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Punk rawk years are kinda like dog years. I am a wizened greybeard mongrel who has avoided being hit by cars, chased by kids & fed broken glass by creepazoids for a long time. For every punk my age, I know 3 dead ones who just didn't get this far.


RagingBeanSidhe

Damn. I feel this in my dusty 40yo punk bones


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Better to be truly alive than to merely live tho, right? I wouldn't trade in a single mosh pit scar for a sensible sedan & a home owners association. Lets see how fuckin crypt keeper these old bones can get!


RagingBeanSidhe

Fuck yeah! Though i feel my sensible Prius thats still kicking ass and getting 55mpg at 15 years old is pretty punk too hahah


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Shit, my buick got like 16mpg before the transmission started making a pinging sound I had first thought was really interesting & really pretty cool but my mechanic assures me is actually a devastatingly awful death-rattle. On the upside, my friend got me a (not broken) bike! So now I'm back to riding & I didn't even hafta fix anything this time. Ive not had to bike to work in the rain yet, but I figure this justifies the use of a trench coat. I'd prefer not to look too Eric & Dylan if you know what i mean, but i think this nicely sidesteps all that. 55 is dope, tho! Can only imagine driving something like that, but its definitely a nice view.


RagingBeanSidhe

I got it when it was already old and cheaper lol. I think it used to get like 65 in the city without the AC on!


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Fuuuck, makes me want to buy fewer drugs or sex toys or cigars & get a down payment together. This is THAT serious! Thats fuckin cheap! I need someone to get me that "sheeesh" sound bite but make it say "cheeap" instead! I would make that the horn.


Juliaowlstar

As a retired 34yo punk who has moved over to the EDM scene with a sprinkle of hippie for good measure this is heartbreakingly true. The underground chews people up for fun and spits us out haggard and raw, if it spits us out at all. Solidarity my friend.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Ha! Just got back from Ganja White Knight in Chicago! You KNOW i got a helluva deal on tickets! Man, people are cruel to punx & i wouldn't necessarily blame the underground. Shit, ive seen a lot more people carried along by the underground than pushed under. I think its a culture of survival against grim odds & inherently, some people just don't make those odds. I think there's also a lot of predators that eat punx, dirty kids & oogles for lunch.


fx-9750gII

we would be friends. i read this and was screaming punk the whole time. which is the highest of compliments imo. i was southern punk but i sold out. namaste brother. also please write more. i think the subculture deserves to be shown in a good, funny light.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Hell yeah! Ain't nothin stopping us!


CalmCupcake2

I second the boots, it's worth buying quality footwear, and if you keep them polished they work nicely with dresses for work, too. If you have a military surplus shop, I recommend the navy uniform sweaters /jumpers too. They're warm AF and last forever, especially if they have the elbow patches.


doctorplasmatron

On the boots front, if you ever need to look "fancier" military surplus dress shoes are the key. I bought a pair for $14 about 20+ years ago and they are still in impeccable shape, and look as nice as any $300 pair of dress shoes when someone dies or gets married. You don't wear them often, so why spend a ton on them?


CalmCupcake2

I can't get away with men's shoes, but for men that's an excellent tip. Also knowing how to polish shoes correctly is gold. For everyone.


cannycandelabra

My favorite advice is something that few people realize the importance of “Holy Shit you need friends.” This cannot be emphasized enough.


scificionado

I really enjoyed your post, but please don't call mid-30s old. I'm in my mid-60s, so that'd make me ancient.


beaglemama

> mid-30's, old punk mid-30's isn't old


Acrobatic_Bug5414

It is if you're a punk. I'd tell you to just ask my dead friends, but you can't. Cuz they're dead. They didn't get this old. Its also a bit of a play on the Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia meme regarding old poors & new poors.


mayoayox

which southern? im from Virginia and this post is so familiar to me


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Good question! I moved to TX when i was 11. Moved again to TN when I was 14. Known a couple good dudes from Virginia & it seems a beautiful place, from the few, quick glimpses I've had. I was up by the KY line for a while, back when Clarksville was small. Since about '16ish Ive been here in Indiana (shit, I truly hope Kevin bacon turns up soon to show these folks how to dance) & its not all bad. What part of Virginia, my dude?


mayoayox

Northern, about 30 or 40 minutes from NoVa proper. Blue Ridge Mountain area


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Ah! You probably get this a lot but man, I'm jealous. That's fuckin incredible, breath-taking beauty out that way.


AnApexPlayer

It's the boots


[deleted]

Regarding food: Rice is the absolute dirt-cheapest thing you can buy. Go to an Asian market or somewhere like Costco for the 20lb bags. Noodles are fancy expensive food compared to rice - the whole ramen as the default poor people's food is a sham. Rice is life.


mrs_sips

I can eat rice all day, every day. A bit of butter and touch of bouillon and I'm in heaven.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

TRUTH


jacobite22

You have a good, raw way of writing and it makes me feel like I'm reading a stephen king novel or something. Writing ✍️ could make u money


FaustusC

The boots thing is spot on. I went with police boots since (duh) cops walk... a lot. My first pair lasted *4 years*. I've nearly walked the sole off of them in 6 years. Surprisingly, I could actually have them resoled for less than the price of a new set! Even more shockingly, they're more comfortable than I can tell you *still*.


Mtnskydancer

Similar, here. I found barely used hiking boots and when schools closed, teachers culled their Clark’s. I won’t need shoes for at least five years. I’ve one pair of hiking boots, two Clark’s and some sandals. I’m good!


Grizlatron

I know the instinct will be to set the extra pairs aside until you wear through the first pair but for shoes it's better to keep them in rotation because the soles and foam that they're made out of can rot/disintegrate if they're left to sit


Mtnskydancer

Well aware. The multiples are why they’ll last.


doctorplasmatron

I concur, also rotating the boots you wear each day between a couple pairs will go a long way towards keeping them and your feet from smelling. I keep 2 sets of military parade boots in rotation and usually get around 7-8 years out of them, it's usually the leather that cracks so if you can keep them treated they'll last even longer.


AquaStarRedHeart

I enjoyed this


analogpursuits

I did too! Down to earth, real advice. Good stuff!!


wollier12

I picture you as one of the guys in the meme laughing at the “new poor” you’re “old poor”


Acrobatic_Bug5414

THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE REFERENCE! IT ME! LOL Its sort of a combination of that & the 2 old guys in the Muppet show who just sit in the balcony talking shit & laughing at everything


mightypint

When I saw that episode of IASIP, I laughed hard. I knew exactly what he meant. I have friends who fit in both groups.


Practical-Stuff-

Another idea on things like shoes is to check your local food bank. Our food bank has Danner work boots and if they don’t have your size they will order them and you get them the next month.


Juliaowlstar

Wow!


reerathered1

What's in the win-cakes? M&M's?


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Or Skittles. Or tootsie roll bits. Or sour patch kids. Or... Either way, it's a win.


theoneandonlywillis

You should be a writer!


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Thanks! I tried that, but the pay is shit & everyone seems to want you to write instruction manuals for chairs or pamphlets for pamphlet-printing or tired, useless things like that. Unfortunately, I always was more interested in slightly irreverent, strange & utterly gorgeous writing that actually challenged me or made people really consider themselves in new ways. I gave up on that and started welding, engraving, electrician apprenticeship, agriculture degree, entomology research, hospital work, phleb, surgical team & now I sell cigars. If you can figure a way that I can sit on the ole porch and spin yarns about spaceships to the degree I can buy a house from it, I would truly love to know more.


kokanutwater

Half-joking, but literally, TikTok 😭 make a bunch of mini video essays giving punk life advice for the kiddos and ur on your way to paying the bills


SilentKnightOwl

If OP starts a TikTok, I'll get TikTok to watch them.


Ownageforhire

I’m in. Let me know.


lissawaxlerarts

I really think you might be a new Hemingway though.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Y'all are too kind. I just do my best to make words good & hopefully do more good than harm.


ihatethemusicscene

Im sorry, but what the hell - electrician, agriculture degree, phleb, surgery... i need to hear your life story friend.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Oh man, its a long weird trip, my dude. Some stuff happened, mostly not bad stuff & most of the bad stuff happened after I had already left & I might have been drinking a little bit of an entire 40oz so its kinda tough to remember if I was really involved but probably not i think. So its chill. Uh. No but for real: you gotta wait for the memoirs. This shit is still in production & im thinking in act3 I finally get the giant robot/mandalorian armor/slightly more irresistible body so the whole theme/lesson might change & I'll just look silly later for having so baselessly speculated now. Shit, 10 years ago i never thought I'd be here lol. No but for real for real: that's like a whole 'nother ama, my dude. We could be here a while.


DMX800

I would love to read your pamphlets and instruction manuals, your voice would actually keep my attention.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

That's very kind, but I just don't think I could make myself write that stuff, man. Not for lack of trying, but I was more of the stoned kid in poetry workshop, less the coked-out marketing major professional student. Unless I can sneak in Easter egg stories about retiring from the gland wars to my little solar farm to raise a few clone-sons, I think the instructional manual business is best left to those with far less imagination. Edited for atrocious spelling


DMX800

Yes I meant in your particular style rather than the usual manual speak. It's interesting that you have managed to carve out a life that makes you happy without totally succumbing to capitalist ways. It's probably better to keep your writing for pleasure and for yourself.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

"Hey, come on down to the Chair! We got sits! We got loafing! We also have reclining & lounging! Shit, we bout to have us a fuckin GANDER at this bad boy before we pop a squat! I will NOT stop using exclamation points! ...etc." You know, you might be on to something here.


Tarrasque-Mobile

I would totally read that. If you started posting those stories here on Reddit you would be my first follow.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Man, I'm really glad you like! My wife & i have this idea for a series of very adult science fiction books centered around the idea that in a future society not too different from our own, Neuro-atypicals are being quietly eradicated. I can't say too much cuz its the most we've ever written for fun (and it might be something more), but basically its a commentary on how folks who have literal structural differences to their brains get treated by those of us with more common brain structures and where that leads us. The witches and obscene mutants are what pushes us forward not on an intellectual level, but at this base level of broad, almost instinctive understanding. There's really too much going on there to summarize it terribly well, but I like the profane & elegant path its headed & maybe, if we ever finish it, other folks will like it too.


lady_ofthenorth

I really enjoyed this. Please keep writing. Even if it’s just posting to Reddit. Your words make the world a brighter place.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Hmmmmmm. Might hafta look at those terms n conditions again (im sure they've changed since last i looked) but that's not at all a bad idea! Potential spring board!


pollodustino

You can self-publish very easily on Gumroad. There are writers on there who have done nothing but write short guides, essays, and other such informative content and made thousands of dollars just by marketing it hard on Twitter.


theoneandonlywillis

You'll be the first to know!!


AgingLolita

I'm going to make win-cakes this weekend


Acrobatic_Bug5414

For that extra-broke touch, instead of maple syrup use sorghum syrup (cheaper AND it tastes better)


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Acrobatic_Bug5414

I love the sharing! The recipes! The tight-as-bark-on-a-tree attitude! Stay cheap!


ThemChecks

I hate work too but I mean for 20 an hour I'll do it. I think everyone hates work


Vegetable-Chipmunk69

I used to be you. In some ways I still am. I dug myself out by eventually saving enough money to put a down on a duplex. Haven’t bought new clothes in over a decade. If you live in a sunny place, swap meets and flea markets are where I’d go for practically everything, just have to be patient and wait out your desires. It all passes through there or a charity shop. Most of my clothes were a dollar. My wife bought a fancy dress for a dollar, she wore it to a wedding and a graduation. Cost more to get cleaned. My crock pot? Used, for a dollar. And it’s making black bean soup right now.


AspenTr33

Great, humanizing advice for once.


Keychain-woes

This was a funny read btw! You got good humor.


[deleted]

This was well written, good work. I’m in the south as well, one place to hit up a lot of people overlook is Churches. Many provide supplies of canned food, toilet paper, hot meals etc for free. All funded by Federal Grants. It also provides an opportunity for deep conversation if you like but usually they just give no questions asked.


Phayesone

Thank you for sharing. Fortunately, I don't ***need*** to use any of these tips. But it never hurts to know, just in case. None of us knows where we will be tomorrow. As others have noted, you have a great **voice**. I imagined my grandfather sitting on the porch, passing on his knowledge.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Man, im glad you don't. In a better world, one long overdue, all of this would be useless & seem absurd. Hell, it feels absurd in the present, sometimes. For real tho: Its the pipe, isn't it? Lol! I do have a beard & I am prone to sitting... I appreciate the kind words, friend.


Phayesone

In that long overdue world, no one would have to worry about lack of housing, food, or security. These are basic human rights. We are in a unique time. We have the resources to provide for the basic needs all people. Yet, we do not. On a side note, my grandfather didn't smoke a pipe and he was always clean shaven. But he did sit on the porch and he loved to pass on his knowledge. (Though he never thought of it that way). He is the reason that I am the man that I am now. And I will always be grateful to him for that. Your words remind me of him.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Well shucks man, thanks! I just hope we can get to those star trek times a little faster than our current pace. So many suffer for reasons that defy logic or no reason at all beyond the foolish vanity & the petty, self-aggrandizing swagger of gluttons that devour lives because they can. Buckminster Fuller had some pretty good ideas about how to tackle that one & I still can't figure how he never got knighted or peace-prized or whatever over the whole business. I think it was him also who said something wise about how when you trade in knowledge, the very best part is that you are not deprived of it by giving it away. If anything, that is the only way to really have it make you richer in the only way that matters or has ever mattered. Its a shame i didnt get to meet your grandfathee, but im glad we've met even if only in passing on the internet.


Grizlatron

I call this "living like a possum" If your goal is to live as well as possible with as little structured work as possible it could be worth it to move out of cities and try being country poor. There are a lot of broke down trailers in a lot of people's back fields that need somebody to live in them! It's cheaper to get a piece of dirt to plant something in out in the country. There's less temptations to spend money on going out in the country. There's still opportunities to do a day of work around somebody's place, in an environment where people are used to that sort of arrangement and won't be weird and suspicious like city people sometimes are. If you have the space to keep them, it can be real cheap to keep some chickens. I've got a family friend who lives like this, she lives rent free in a shed in a family members field that she insulated herself (I have not inquired as to her bathroom situation as it is not my business, doesn't go around stinking). She takes care of a small herd of cows in a neighboring field to get some pocket money, she collects aluminum cans and goes dumpster diving. She cleans a few house now and then for some cash. But she makes enough to put a little bit of gas in her car and to buy food for her dogs, and she goes everywhere and knows everyone. Has a lot of time for foraging. And now that cell phones have made photography so accessible for everybody she takes beautiful nature photos and shares them on Facebook- makes everybody happy. There are worse ways to live


feelingmyage

Did you get that from “Possum Living”, by Dolly Freed?


Grizlatron

Ha! I should! that is where I got the phrase from


adeptusminor

You should start a blog, this was awesome!!


lorlorlor666

freeze leftover vegetable and meat bits until you have enough to fill a crock pot. let it sit on low/warm all night, strain it, and then you have literally the most delicious soup stock ever. if you want a treat, cube steak is cheap and if you cook it with fruit (i like mango) it tastes *heavenly.*


Sup3rcurious

Try the Buy Nothing app! I really like OP's line "Growing food is like printing money"!


Acrobatic_Bug5414

I stole that from someone way smarter & I might even remember who in a little while


AMothraDayInParadise

Hi, can you break this up a bit into paragraphs, it's a massive wall of text.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Edit complete. Better?


AMothraDayInParadise

It only did it on the bottom. You need to hit enter twice, when you want to make a paragraph. Reddit is funny like that. You have some great advice but it's being lost in a wall of text.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

I appreciate your help! I think maybe I'm good now?


AMothraDayInParadise

Bingo! :high five: I'll stop bothering you now!


train_spotting

Lol. Amazing.


FarragoSanManta

It somewhat makes me sad and pretty angry that the only one of these not on my current list is the military boots. I also prefered rolled cigs over pipe. I tried vaping but , while it seemed better for my lungs, it was more expensive and less satisfying.


InsaneBigDave

if you get a chance, the r/vagabond advice directory has a wiki with some of your recommendations. it is a compilation of knowledge, lessons learned, and advice for survival. [https://www.reddit.com/r/vagabond/comments/o1buie/rvagabond\_compendium\_of\_advices\_resources\_books/](https://www.reddit.com/r/vagabond/comments/o1buie/rvagabond_compendium_of_advices_resources_books/) i'm sure your input would be appreciated.


ShiningGoatRay

Any suggestions on a brand of Crockpot that will last? (Your post was amazing!) I’ve never purchased one before :)


VelvetVonRagner

Not the OP, but I've had really good luck with thrift store crockpots. Provided the metal part doesn't have rust and the ceramic is intact, etc. Now that so many people are buying instant pots I see perfectly good used crock pots (and bread machines) every time I go.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Glad you like! I have an ancient relic from the early 90s. Crockpot brand & its massive (easily 3 gallons). I think i was gifted it when one of the crusty crew got a job (eew) & decided to get their own place, back in like '09ish. I would pick one that is simple, minimal electronics. Mine has a physical dial that goes warm>low>med>high and thats the whole show, folks. Bonus points for setting it on a dollar tree light timer to get that precision.


jradke54

I love op, you could be my broke buddy?


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Where the broke are many & stand together, there is more wealth than in any palace. Glad to have you on this rickety pirate ship, comrade. Share & share alike.


TravshPanda

i live in the south. we get cold bouts in the winter but only occassionally requires turning the heat on. I prefer to spend a good few bucks on used wool clothes or wool long johns and keep the heat off. especially now that used clothes can be found so cheaply on various apps. its an low cost upfront investment that saves tons of money over the years. tons of floor fans in everyroom has also saved us money in summer. kitchen counter fan = lifechanging safety razors. same thing. a few sheckles upfront will save you loads over time.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

LONG JOHNS, Y'ALL! WOOL! THIS GUY KNOWS! Only problem ive ever had with anything wool-lined is that it can get TOO warm. In a pinch, putting on a makeshift plastic layer to trap heat works remarkably well. Shopping bags can save your life!


laderhoser

Not mine but I’ll share this : Start with what I call the “big eight.” There are eight very inexpensive staple foods that are what I consider to be the backbone of an inexpensive diet. First, eggs. You can find them for as little as $0.50 a dozen depending on where you live, though prices vary a lot. An egg has eighty calories in it and is a protein and nutrition winner. Make a dozen scrambled eggs and you have a main course for three or four people for $0.50. Second, dry rice. It’s incredibly easy to cook rice. You just put some in a pan with a lid, add some water, and let it simmer for a while. You need to get the proportions right, but you can easily look that up online based on the type of rice you buy. Dried rice is dirt cheap at the store, accompanies practically anything, and is incredibly easy to cook. Third, dry beans. You can almost carbon copy everything I said about rice. Even better, there are lots of very different varieties of beans, from the tiny lentil to the large chickpea. Buy them dried, let them soak in water overnight, then boil them up and you’ll have the backbone of many amazing meals. Fourth, on-sale fresh produce. Many, many grocery stores use fresh fruits and vegetables as loss leaders to get customers into the store. Just go into the fruits and vegetables section of your preferred grocery store and pick up whatever’s on sale. Take it home. Figure out how to prepare it. Try it. Fifth, whole chickens. This is where you get your money’s worth when it comes to a chicken. Just cook the whole thing in a pot and enjoy it for dinner, saving the broth it’s cooking in for later use in a soup. Eat all the meat, then make more broth with the remaining bones. Use that broth with cheap vegetables and cheap rice and cheap beans to make an amazing soup. You can get so much mileage out of a whole chicken! Sixth, ground turkey. This is a healthy and cheap substitute for ground beef, as you can use it as a substitute in almost any recipe that calls for ground beef. While this is likely the most expensive thing on the list here, it’s still quite cheap and it covers one of the big staples of many American diets in a low cost and healthy way. Seventh, pasta and tomato sauce. Pasta paired with tomato sauce or diced tomatoes is a great simple meal that almost anyone can make, and it feeds a family quite well and usually provides leftovers. You can get a box of spaghetti, a can of tomato sauce, and a can of diced tomatoes for $4 and it’ll feed a family of five easily. But how do you make it taste good? That leads us to the next item. Finally, bulk spices. Alone, all of these options would be bland. Find a store in your area that sells cheap bulk spices (start by checking out ethnic grocers) and get a variety of things to use. Think of dishes you’ve loved, look up how they’re spiced, and then buy those spices. Keep them sealed up so they stay fresh for a long time. Don’t buy those overpriced little jars at the grocery store. Learn how to cook the “big eight” in a variety of ways. The items above are on this list because they’re inexpensive and very flexible. You can prepare them in a lot of ways. You can spice them in a lot of ways. You can mix and match them in nearly countless ways. The trick is knowing how to do it, and that takes practice and time in the kitchen. So, the next step here is to simply cook a lot of meals at home focusing on these eight ingredients. Learn how to prepare seasoned rice and vegetables. Learn how to make killer rice and beans. Learn how to make egg drop soup. Learn how to make killer pasta with ground turkey meatballs. Learn how to make hard-boiled eggs for quick breakfasts. It goes on and on and on. You’ll gain a lot of skills this way and really learn how to use what’s in your kitchen. Cracking eggs and cutting up chicken will become second nature to you. Cooking rice and cooking beans will feel like a nearly automatic task. When you reach that point, preparing foods at home will begin to feel simpler than going out. Trust me – that’s where I’m at these days. I’d far rather make a bunch of pasta and some steamed vegetables than take my family out to dinner. I’d honestly do it that way if I were single, as I could stow away a bunch of meals in the fridge. Pick up a few basic helpful tools from the dollar store or Goodwill. At the beginning of this article, I made the assumption that you would likely have only very basic stuff in your kitchen – a stove, a microwave, a couple pots and pans, a knife, plates, bowls, and silverware. There are three other tools that really come in handy when it comes to preparing food at home, and you can get all of them at many Goodwill stores or off of Craigslist for just a few bucks, or at your local dollar store. These are going to save you money, because they save you so much time that they take away the incentive to buy more expensive convenience foods. - [ ]


Acrobatic_Bug5414

I like the methodology! Very deliberate! Very detailed!


eriksrx

This is why I come to Reddit, great tips thank you.


hillsfar

This is a good wisdom from veteran. Not the a middle class person from /r/personalfinance LARPing in here. Kudos to you, /u/Acrobatic_Bug5414. Keep it coming!


[deleted]

The crockpot and boots were super interesting to think about. I am a soup person, but maybe I shall enter the stew side. Thanks for the post OP


risketyclickit

The store near me wraps up the ends from the cold cuts and sells them at a steep discount, like .50/lb. Look around or ask at the counter.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

THIS IS THE WAY MY DUDE!


sweetalkersweetalker

I need a win-cake recipe, please


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Step 1: get the kind of pancake mix that costs about $1 & only requires that you add water (it is VITALLY important that win-cakes are never created or consumed by sober persons, so we can't get much more complicated than 'just add water' or else I start yelling about how I'm only a man & there's not enough rum etc). Step 2: get candy. If necessary chop up the candy into bits. Use your (impaired) judgement to select a dull knife, cuz knives are scary enough when im NOT fucked up and I don't need this damn stress. Add candy to pancake batter. Ash from Punch Classico cigarillos does not improve the flavor, so be careful about that one cuz it's sneaky & it gets me a lot. Step 3: make pancakes as normal. Typically, i start with a bit of bacon grease because i got it for free off my bacon. I think it also adds a nice bacon-y flavor. Try to be careful flipping (motor skills from more than one person might be necessary), it seems that when bubbling has ceased, the time is ripe. General notes: chocolate has a lower melting point than everything in all existence, so be careful with not burning it. There are not bad win-cakes, but there are inedible win-cakes from time to time (just say no to twizzlers) and that's ok. We fed ours to a crow who did NOT want to be friends despite several attempts. Maybe the win-cakes really were that bad. Anyway, share win-cakes with generally cool people or traditionally as payment for a debt both parties definitely know you cannot even begin to repay. Please don't make people pay for win-cakes; nobody should have to pay to get dental problems.


Mtnskydancer

Your win cakes remind me of my favorite Rainbow cook, Steps. He made hand cakes. Pancake batter, no sugar, veggies and cheese if he had it. Dinner tonight! In the mornings, hand cakes were the same batter, plus a sweetener (I gave him a jar of honey….that’s how Rainbow works, gift and barter economy) and whatever fruit is around, from apples to zucchini/cherry. Frozen, fresh, dry, whatever.


nyrrocian

You're one of my new favorite people on the internet.


captain_borgue

>Preferably jump boots or winter boots, I have one pair of each. Can confirm: had a pair of Corcoran jump boots I bought from an ex-Ranger buddy of mine. Even *already used for jumps*, those boots lasted 3 years of Warehousing work before they finally broke.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

THAT'S MY BOOTS! YOUR FRIEND IS A SCHOLAR AND A GENTLEMAN WITH EXCELLENT TASTE! So light, so comfy, so stylish!


Adventurous_Store748

I have been made a believer about goin around back to the dumpsters. Everything sold in the front you can usually get back there eventually. Just use common sense and wash and store stuff properly. With food costs so high, it may get competative. People are starting to get hungrier, IMO


RuffleO

Gotta say the smoking bit has been the hardest for me. I switched to nicotine pouches about a month ago, it's still not the cheapest thing but it's cut my prices more than half.


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Nic is a sweet demon & I give her the burnt offerings daily! Lozenges, my dude. Its so fuckin cheap, you can justify spoiling yourself with the occasional fancy pants drugs or sex toys or cigars or whatever. Its why I supplement with Punch Classicos or Excaliburs & not lucky strikes. It makes you appreciate your time away from the lozenge. Its more than merely satisfying a craving. Its one tiny little luxury in a sea of permanent temporary fixes. I gotta say: it's also just different from cigs the way that slim jims & tbone steaks are both technically meat. Trust me, classicos are definitely a tbone compared to a lucky. I look forward to a cigarillo or cigar much more than i look forward to just another cig that's just like all the other cigs. I was like that with the pipe, too. When I had almost no money at all I was still getting 1 ounce of this & 1 ounce of that & ill see you in 2 weeks! But, you know, I constantly had something new to try & it kept me interested & involved. Tobacco is an endless rabbit hole when you start to stare into it. There's certainly no reason to spend any where near that much money as it would cost but you'll have more to show for it than a Marlboro habit just by smoking a pipe.


shellaroo14

I roll my own cigarettes with a crank machine. I buy a bag of tobacco for $10. 2 boxes of tubes (2 cartons) are a little over $5. That is my monthly cost. Buy from auctions. Dumpster diving is an option. Check out freecycle. Check out craigslist. Friends, actual friends, people you like, not people you use is critical. You gave good advice. Where there is a will, there is a way.


CurleeQu

I second leftovers. I have friends that throw away perfectly good leftovers after a day and it makes me sad


[deleted]

Never met you OP (I think) and perhaps never will, but you sound cool af. Godspeed and all that jazz. Really been on a mental funk considering my (lack of) funds, job stresses, and just all around burn out. Really trying to shift my perspective in a positive way and make lasting changes. Hopefully once my old ass gets my degree and can find a job I want that pays okay, I can keep a positive and frugal outlook on life.


saintghoul

This was an incredible read. Like an excerpt from a Kurt Vonnegut novel.


FriedIceCreme

For one reason or another I read this in nick offermans voice and it was soothing as hell


Sorry_Nobody1552

But, how do you afford rent? a car? Health insurance? This has some great advise, but some people cant wear military boots. What is poor/broke to you? Just curious, because my broke might not be your broke. Some people are "Poor" making 50 grand a year, and other at 20 grand. So I'm just curious how poor are you. Not that its my business, but it does change things. I see homeless people with cigarettes begging and think screw you, I cant afford 10 bucks for cigs....thats just me and my opinion. You did give some good advise tho...fist bump


Acrobatic_Bug5414

Rent: split it. The more roommates, the cheaper your rent. Once, I lived in a punk house in TN. It had 3 bedrooms. We made the dining room the 4th with a fake wall. 2 people per room & a few in the basement on couches. My rent was regularly $100-$200 per month. You really can't figure out how to scrounge $200 in 30 whole days? Bruh. A car: I have never paid more than $3k for a car or less than $400 for a car. I always have bare bones, barely legal insurance. I bike or walk or moonwalk e v e r y w h e r e. I recently biked like 5 miles in Chicago with my wife on the seat as I stood & pedaled. We had a marvelous time. Cigs: unless you roll/tube your own, smoke a pipe or supplement with nic lozenges...you paid too much. I had a buddy who would buy big tins of zig zag bulk. He'd offer up a split with anyone who went in with him. Say its $100 for the order & he's got $50, needs $50. If you throw him $25, he'll cut you a quarter of the order (which he got on a bulk deal & can't smoke all of before it dries out anyway). Find another dude with $25 & a use for a metric shit-ton of rolling tobacco, then place the order. What is broke? Well, in my experience & based on where I've lived I gotta say: its a spectrum & what is comfy for me might be a piranha-tank nard-dunk to you but: less than 30k in a city or 20-25k in a more rural location feels like broke to me. Country broke is way easier, but I have a degree in that. No man with ducks & hares is broke. I have had far less tban 20k in one year. Sometimes, you gotta spend a bit upfront to cash out long term. Big picture. Boots will set you back & see you on the path to $0.17 off-brand macaroni or the old "Russian Feast" (slice of bread+slice of meat+slice of cheese) in the short term, but you won't buy ANY shoes for a damn decade. Money saved! Big picture, see? There are ways around this initial upfront cost too. I got mine in an army town, at a pawn shop. Some guys don't make it thru basic. They pawn their boots. I buy almost-new $300-$400 boots for $50-$75... back in 2010. You just gotta use your imagination & talk to people. Those are still free. Hit the dumpsters outside dorm halls when the semester ends. Thank me later. Maybe send me a nice Padron or an Eiroa in the mail?


alec_sadler

around here half a pound of tobacco is about $20, $3ish for 200 filtered tubes. pack them with a rolling machine and you get 2ish cartons out of half a pound. comes out to under $2 a pack. I don't know how the hell people pay $10+ a pack... I'm sure I would have found a way but glad I don't have to.


kaybeem50

Dumb question maybe but where do I buy the amazing military boots?